Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace

[Nehetsrev]

(OOC - With this thread I will seek to post some of Treana's experiences, thoughts, and memories as she herself might write them.  This 'journal' as it may be thought of may be far from complete as far as all the details of her adventures go, but hopefully it should shed some light on her past and present to a degree that makes her seem almost real.)
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Entry 1 - Febra 12, 1399 - Introduction

I write this journal to chronicle my activities and reflect on my life in this world we live in.  To begin I feel it is important enough to document these things, however small they may seem, simply because like many others I have been called forth by an old Dragon who thinks I have some potential within me that will lead me to become a great hero, or at least help in the conflict against Blood.  Though I myself do not yet see what the Dragon has seen in me, I have been told by others whom I have grown to trust that the scaly one is never wrong about those it chooses.  I pray then to Toran that he help me order my steps in this great journey to reach the destiny that awaits me.

I suppose it only fitting that though it brings forth great pain in my heart I also begin with explaining where I have come from before arriving here in Hlint.  My life, as the lives of many here it seems, has not been what you might think of as a happy one, though it may have been so if my destiny were not what it is.  I was raised in a farming community on the edges of the frontiers.  While we lived a hard life, it was also for the most part a rewarding one.  Our village, or town as I often refer to it, was constantly enduring of raids from both orcs and goblins.  Usually the raiding parties were small enough that they could be turned away with the minimum of loss of life, livestock, or produce.  The village walls aided greatly to protect us as well, until that fateful night just more than three years ago at the time of this writing.  I will get more into the details of that night a little later in this entry, but wish to explain other details before I do.

My family, as most farming families do, was a fairly large one in comparison to those of most city folk.  I was the third child of seven, having two older brothers, two younger ones, and two younger sisters as well.  Living with us and our parents in our home was also my grandfather, the father of my own father.  Our family name, E'Zoenna, means 'True Peace' in the old tongue, or at least that is what Grandpa told us.  My full name, he said, means 'Heart of True Peace'.  Peace is something I feel is far from my heart today though, but I digress.  Let it be written here that while we as a family had our occasional petty squabbles, we all truly loved one another and worked hard together to help our farm prosper.

My betrothed, who I was to marry come the spring was Erathim Sata Min'A'Norda (or Working Brother of the North in the old tongue).  Erathim, who was my reason for living then, and who remains now entombed in the memories of my heart.  He was a hard-working man who I had grown up with playing in the cornfields, or harvesting the wheat with.  His whole family, the Min'A'Norda's, were perhaps the most respected family in our small community.  They had been among the first settlers in the village when it was founded and their home lay near the center of the community, and their fields were some of those closest just outside the inner walls.  My own family took up residence later on in the town's history, so our home was nearer the wall and our fields further out, just inside the outer walls.  Over the years our families had become very close and it was most natural that Erathim and I had grown to love each other so much as we did.

(here tears begin to stain much of the page, but it appears as though the writer took care to dry the page and re-write the words to make them once more legible.)

Yet, as stated earlier, one fateful night in the dead of winter would change the course of my life and take all whom I loved away from me. The goblins and orcs who constantly raided the community had forged together an alliance and came in numbers greater than any of us had ever seen before.  So swift and organized were they that the guards of the outer wall, and even some of those of the inner wall were killed before they could raise the alarm.  You could say it was fortunate that that eve I had stolen away to Erathim's home to be with him, but I have not seen it as fortunate.  We woke to the sounds of shouting and fighting in the streets outside and when I flung open the window to look out over the town I was met with a horrific sight.  The orcs and goblins in their attack laid flame to every structure in their path, and as I looked out the fire-light reflected from the snow-covered ground lit the town almost as brightly as the day and I saw with my own eyes my home burning like a beacon along with many others.

Erathim and I woke the rest of his family and we began to flee from his home and into the streets.  Even as we rushed down from the porch at the front of his home the wave of attacking orcs and goblins poured forth silhouetted by the flame behind them and gave chase to us.  We ran as fast and far as we could, all of us few who woke before the oncoming horde in time to flee.  They chased us into the surrounding woods and slew as many as they could catch.  Their arrows struck down some of those who ran near us one by one until, eventually we outran them, or perhaps more likely they decided to return instead to the town and gather what they could from the remains of the homes and the dead.  It was during this that Erathim was grazed by an arrow himself, opening a small cut on one side of his neck.

In the morning light after ward, we few who survived the horrors of the night began to gather together at the edge of the forest to stare bereft at the remains of our village.  There were perhaps twenty of us left alive at that point, but more would die.  We salvaged three wagons and set ourselves to push through the snow to the nearest civilized town some forty miles away.  We were all weak and without food and the going was slow.  Erathim himself was one of those who fell ill and had to be lain in one of the wagon-beds.  The cut from the arrow so small it should not have mattered and should have healed on it's own, instead became infected and began to fester.  For those seven days I watched him as he slowly died in my arms and he finally passed only hours before we would arrive at the town we set out to.

After that, I became nothing more than numb to everything.  Though the other dozen people of my village who lived through those seven days stopped to seek what aid they could in the town, I instead continued onward.  I wandered the lands like a zombie, without purpose or caring or goal, and most without feeling.  Until recently, when the Dragon pulled me forth with his summoning.  I had at first thought it but a dream, a vain imagining of my mind to fill the emptiness that had occupied me since just over three years prior.  I have discovered since that it was not, arriving in Hlint and being assaulted by the demands of needing aid just to live, and the questions of fellow adventurers that come with such aid.  Each new person eventually wanting to know who I am, and where I'd come from, innocently prying up the callous that had grown over my soul to cover the memories of that horrid night and the days that followed.  The pain I had run from for so long now has been unleashed upon me in full force, and I began to act foolishly to once again try to escape it and in so doing I've discovered that the Soul Mother, or some other power, is not yet willing for me to die and leave this plane forever.  I have died many times these past weeks, yet each time my soul returns to a new body and has been forced to continue.  And though I once sought death as an end to my pain, no longer is it so.

New hopes have arisen within me, grown in the light of new friendships made here in Hlint and in my adventures in the lands since my summoning.  Some friends with stories as tragic as my own, or perhaps even more tragic in cases.  Their stories are their own though, and in respect for them I will not share them here, excepting where perhaps my own life touches with theirs in a way that cannot be left out of this journal.

Their names I see no harm in mentioning though, and so I will start by naming those I feel I have become closest to.  I have come to know with some familiarity Anna Lee, Addison, Rhynn and Ireth as well as Ozymandius the legendary bard, and a man called Talen.  There are also a few others whom I am acquainted with, but only loosely, but perhaps with time our relations will grow deeper.  I hesitate to say much more, for as I said the stories of these my friends are not mine to tell, and indeed I grow wearing from writing today.  It is a new morn' and I am sure there is much in store for me to do today so I had best put down book and quill and ink, and venture forth to see what fate has in store.  I will write again when I feel moved to do so.

[Nehetsrev]

Entry 2 – Febra 14, 1399 - First Adventures

I suppose, since I set out to write this journal in order to chronicle my adventures since arriving in Hlint, I ought to actually get to some of that.  So, it is with the intent of detailing some of my first encounters here that I make this entry now.

Upon arriving in Hlint I did as I often did for a few days and centered mostly upon myself.  However, as the Dragon’s calling began to dawn more fully in my thoughts I decided to begin at least trying to help other in some small way, even if only in an effort to hide from my own feelings being stirred up in mourning of my loved ones.  So I set myself to asking around the town to see what odd tasks I could set my sword to.

Of the sword, to be more honest, it had originally belonged to Erathim, my beloved.  I have carried it with me since the day he died, and sometimes I swear I can imagine I feel him still through the blade.  I have also kept with me my own short-sword, given me by my father when I was in my tenth year, though I seldom use it.  Being that our town was so often raided we all were taught either the basics of handling a bow or the sword at about that age.  I digress to the past again, however, so let me return now to days more close to the present.

In asking about the town I found several people in need that I could use my sword-skills to aid, a couple people whom I could help just by doing more mundane work.  My first such task took me into the sewers to track down a rat-man and retrieve some documents for a local tax official.  On the way I met a large person, who I assume was a half-giant.  He did not speak, but he could make clear through various postures and grunting what basic things he wished to communicate.  Together he and I fought the rat-man and his vermin minions and successfully returned the tax book to the lady above.

Later, I found work delivering messages and parcels to various people under the direction of the local postmaster.  The local tanner also had some work for me to do, and has been requesting me to hunt down different animals and return to him their skins.  Between such tasks as provided by the two, I busied myself with collecting cotton from the orc infested woods nearby and training myself in the craft of tailoring.

My next interesting adventure came from the quartermaster of the town guard.  He charged me with going forth to slay several goblin scouts and return to him their ears as proof.  This task I was happy to turn my attention to as it afforded in my mind a means of revenge against those who slew my family, friends, and dearest loved ones.  The goblins proved to be more challenging then I had thought they would, and I died at least twice attempting to collect the ears I needed to fulfill my oath to the quartermaster.

A day or so after finishing my obligation to the quartermaster I ran in to the local undertaker, Erag.  He also had an odd task for me to perform, requiring that I venture into the local crypts and fight my way past many undead including skeletons, zombies, and ghouls.  In this venture I wisely sought the aid of others and we boldly and bravely fought our way to the lair of the worst of the undead in the crypt, a being called a lesser dark-soul whose essence we were charged with gathering on behalf of the undertaker.  I tell you, that man is creepy in every sense of the word, but he paid us well for our trouble.

A few more days passed after that and I continued to keep myself busy learning my tailoring skills until the dwarven wagon-master who’d heard of some of my exploits hailed me to request a favor.  He explained that he could not trade safely between Hlint and nearby Fort Llast because the goblins living in a cave along the route had become too dangerous in their attacks upon his wagons.  Glad again to have another reason to kill more of the vile things, I agreed to bring the dwarf the head of their leader.  This task also proved beyond my abilities alone and so I put it off for another time.

I also made a venture into the high moors not far off from Hlint on word that a hermit-woman there would pay well for skeleton knuckles, of which I had plenty from my recent adventures in the town crypts.  I had been keeping them as trophies for I had gotten the idea in my head to do so for some unknown reason.  Perhaps it came from fate or Toran guiding my steps?  In any case I did not make it to the area in which the hermit-woman was said to be encamped.  Instead I was bled dry by a swarm of the largest and most vicious mosquitoes I have ever seen.  It was after this death that I met some of those that I now consider to be among my closest friends.

Admittedly, I was so disappointed in myself for falling to the mosquitoes that I was throwing a bit of a fit and having a wonderful pity-party for myself.  Nearby those who would become my friends overheard my rather loud and obnoxious berating of myself and came to try and cheer me.  Probably only so that I’d shut up and leave them to their own discussions.  First to appear at my side then was the mysterious Ozymandius.  He began by insulting my fashion sense after I made the comment that I was a failure.  I wanted to slap him, but was too upset with myself to put the thought into action.  Next to offer comfort of a sort was Anna Lee, who provided me with some rather tasty and very potent wine.  Never being one who handled drink so well, it went straight to my head and I was forced to find a bed at the inn to sleep it off.

After sleeping off the effects of the wine, and being left with a killer hangover, I ventured again to the bench near the pond where I proceeded to begin anew my pity-party if I recall rightly.  I’m not sure of some details of that morning as the wine had really done a number on me.  Again Anna Lee and two of her friends went out of their way to repair my self-image, again I think most likely only to shut me up, but perhaps I am wrong.  In any case, they showed a form of friendship to me and shared, along with Ozymandius who re-appeared, a bit of their own troubles.  I determined to make their problems my concern, again only so that I might be distracted from the pain of my own life.  Yes, I am, or was at the time, such a wretch as that I sadly admit.

Addison, Rhynn and I ended the day with a trip into the goblin caves in an effort to slay the leader and bring back his head as the wagon master had asked me to do.  Though we slew many goblins in our delving into the caves of red light, we failed to find the leader and were eventually inclined to leave and return some other day as we felt it not likely he would come out of hiding.

After some other adventures I was traveling with my new-found friends into town when a priestess of Toran accosted them with questions about their problems.  Through the course of the conversations, my own faith in Toran was tried, and being new to the faith and knowing little aside from the feelings of my own heart, I became offended by some of the rhetoric being offered by Maev, as was the name of the priestess.  At least I think she was a priestess, perhaps a cleric.  She was so unlike the kind paladin of Toran I had traveled with before my summoning who had introduced me to my faith in Toran.  Her words were hard, and sought to blame the people of my village for it’s slaughter at the hands of the goblins and orcs.  It was not something I could take, and with wounded spirit I fled behind the row of houses nearby to weep in solitude.  Two men found me there and proceeded to interrupt my weeping, perhaps in effort to ease my mind, but I spurned their aid and fled again, hiding as best I could until I reached another place I thought I could be alone with my anguish.

It was then that Anna Lee passing by on the road heard my soft weeping and came to see who was crying.  She had been present in a way when Maev assaulted my faith in Toran, and perhaps she indeed actively sought me out.  She took me in her arms and tried to comfort me as best as she with her own problems could.  Were I not such a self-centered lout at the time I may have seen more clearly the friendship within her for me, but I looked only on my own grief.  She brought me to see another friend of hers, to demonstrate that I was not the only one with tragedies in my life, but I turned the situation into a shouting match and spoke with hateful words of the Dragon who’d summoned myself, and indeed many others to Hlint.  In a rage I ran off and foolishly set my blade to wanton killing of the goblins in the hills just outside town, blind to everything but the hate welling up within me for my very life.  Amazingly, but with great wounding to my flesh, I slew all the goblins that stood before me in those moments of rage.  With the last of my strength I hobbled back into town and collapsed in the middle of the road just inside the gates.

There again, Anna Lee came to my aid, as did Ozymandius.  They cast spells of healing that closed my wounds and returned at least my physical health to me.  Then, they left me to wallow in my own pity, exasperated and their patience with my behavior exhausted.  It was in it’s own way a wake-up call to me, and though I did not immediately let loose my resolute hold on my self-pity, it caused me to begin to reflect for the first time more honestly on my actions, and thoughts.  I wanted to be comforted I realized, and so I apologized to both Anna Lee and Ozymandius for my behavior, and I made an effort to shut away my grief in order to spend time in their presence.

Days later, I continued to intrude upon the lives of Anna Lee, Addison, and Rhynn.  Still my focus in spending time with them was to use their problems to forget about my own for a while.  Indeed I was feeling within that my selfishness had no limits and no ends, though I denied it as strongly as could be denied.  It was on a trip to go hunting with Rhynn that she introduced me to Talen, a rugged man of the out-doors with a generous heart.  We three ventured into the Sielwood, but Rhynn lost her desire to hunt and left us there.  Thankfully, at about the same time a man named Master Jin Lun Lee appeared from deeper within the wood and offered to aid Talen and I in our hunting if we would help him with his.  He wished to collect some silk and Talen & I were there to hunt for boar and search for a cave the local bard a the inn had said she lost her necklace in.  Master Lee knew the location of the cave, so we all went in to search for the necklace.  We found inside many creatures that confronted our penetration into it’s darkness.  Among them were bugbears, and a few huge gelatinous cubes.  After slaying many of the creatures we searched the carnage and I found the lost necklace, though we were all fairly exhausted, so we decided to put off the boar hunting for another day.  On our way out of the forest, as we had given our word, Talen and I helped Master Lee gather his silk by fighting off the fierce and poisonous spiders which both spun it and guarded it.

Satisfied with our aid Master Lee proceeded to offer both Talen and I a special deal.  He would enchant the weapon of our choice for each of us if we would each bring him five boxes full of skeleton knuckles.  It was a deal that neither Talen nor I could easily refuse, so we went with fervor into the crypts of Hlint and gathered the knuckles as quickly as we could.  When we were finished we sent word to Master Lee and he and a friend of his relieved us of our burdens of boxes.  Master Lee, true to his word, fulfilled his end of the bargain and enchanted one weapon for each of us.  I chose to have Erathim’s long-sword enchanted and now it sparks with the magical energy of lightning and adds shocking damage to the blows that fall upon my foes.

In the days that have followed, I have adventured more with Talen, our journeys taking us to Fort Himlad far away on another continent even.  There we fought a huge griffon together and returned evidence of a cows fate to the farmer whom it had belonged.  Sadly, Talen fell during the fight with the griffon, and I myself nearly perished.  Were it not for a lucky strike that took down the beast, I’d have no doubt been torn asunder and my soul returned to Hlint as Talen’s had been, to reform in a new body.  A bit afraid, I determined to make my way back to Hlint on my own.  Though it looked doubtful I’d succeed at some points, I managed to make the journey in one piece, passing Talen and another of his friends going the opposite way as I did.

Back in Hlint I decided to make another venture into the high moors.  Finally I delivered a good portion of skeleton knuckles to the hermit there and she gave to me a necklace made of the knuckles which she said would help protect me from the undead.  Creepy as it may look, the necklace does indeed appear to help some.  I then returned the other way past Hlint to Fort Llast and took up a few quests there while delivering another letter for the postmaster.  The first of the tasks only required the procurement of some weapons for the Fort Llast militia, which I felt proud to do though it cost me some of my own hard earned gold.  The lieutenant was so happy for my help though that he gave to me an enchanted helm.  The second quest was given by a mage, and he requested I return to the high moors to retrieve for him the essence of a will-o-the-wisp.  It was not a task I would have opted to perform normally, but I felt with the new enchantment on my blade I might stand a chance of tackling one of the glowing things and completing the quest.  Alas, I fell in the swamp again in my searching for one of the elusive beings, this time at the hands of a lizardman heavy artillery specialist.

Spending some time in Hlint to reflect once more upon my death I ran into Rhynn, Anna Lee, and Ireth on the large rock behind the Wild Surge Inn.  It came to pass that they learned of some dire news which perhaps I will outline in my next entry, but for now I am weary from writing again.

[Nehetsrev]

Entry 3 – Febra 28, 1399 - Adventures Continue

To pick up where I left off, my friends had just received some bad news about another of my friends.  While it is perhaps not my business to reveal the specifics of their problems here in this journal, I will write out some basics from my own perspective and understanding as their problems had become in a part of my own life, and by my choice affected the course of my own actions.

Suffice it to say that someone very dear to Ireth was kidnapped and being held.  The friends knew by whom, or thought they did, but feared to confront said person lest it cost Ireth’s dear one her life or worse.  Addison, however, had her own ideas and had announced she planned to directly assault the lair of the supposed kidnapper, at least this is how I understood things to be at the time.  The friends were torn, they wished to save the dear one of Ireth, but they also did not wish to bring harm to Addison as she was a friends as well, and an important part of their lives in other ways.  Indeed, the stakes were higher than a single life, or even a pair of lives, but I dare not go into too much more detail than that.

Suffice it to say that we formed a party to try to stop Addison from reaching a point of no return and causing damage that could not be undone.  Let us also say that we were prepared to prevent her from reaching her destination by any means possible, for as I said the stakes were far greater than any one life.  So together myself, Anna Lee, Ireth, Rhynn, and Ireth’s brother set out and traveled across the world to try to head Addison off.

Without going into too much detail, we eventually came to a point where we could go forward no further, and I even died once along the way.  In fact several of us died.  I believe Anna Lee was perhaps the only one of us who retreated safely from the initial onslaught of the foes that blocked our path.  Thank Toran and perhaps the other gods as well for Bindstones!  It was risky, but we set out to our graves to recover more quickly from our recent deaths, for we felt time was of the essence.

Arriving at our graves, we found ourselves cut off from retreat by another group of foes that had moved in behind us to block our path.  Eventually, with invisibility enchantments worn off and no end to the waiting in sight, we made the choice to fight our way back.  More of us died for a second time, though miraculously I managed to avoid the fate again myself.  So, Anna Lee, Ireth and I made our way back at last to return to the Bindstone at which our fallen friends awaited us.

It was decided that to press on was not advisable, so we split into two parties.  Anna Lee and I waited there for we believed Addison would also have to pass that way to get where she was going.  The others went back to seek additional help, in case it came that we would have to brave the route ahead once more.

For several days Anna Lee and I waited for Addison, or the return of the others.  It seemed to rain almost constantly there, but we could not afford to let that distract our watchful eyes.  In the time of those days we talked of many things and I learned a little more about my new friend than I had known before.  At one point the mysterious and friendly Ozymandius made an appearance.  He too sought to find Addison and prevent her from causing the trouble she’d set out to cause.  While his appearance there was brief, it was a welcome break to the waiting.  Eventually Anna Lee decided that Addison was most likely not coming or that we had already been to late to stop her, and that we ought to head back to Hlint.  So we set out together the two of us.

We traveled several ship routes on our way, but Anna Lee was not sure she knew the way back.  Indeed at one point we got lost.  In our search for the right path to take we stumbled upon a place called Elemental Balance.  It appeared to be a huge temple or monument of some sort on a hill high above a lake which it over-looked.  It was beautiful, and perhaps some day I will seek it out again.

It was not long afterward that we met another friend.  Mith joined with us and agreed to return us to familiar lands.  However, something appeared to be bothering him, and there was tension of sorts between himself and Anna Lee.  I would find out later a little bit more about that, but I dare not say more on the subject here.  In any case, we eventually came out of the forests into Fort Himlad to my joy.  Though the first time I’d been to the fort I had been disappointed in it’s lack of accommodations, this time my heart leapt and did a dance at the sight of it, for it meant we were nearly home, and also back to lands familiar to me.

We walked then to Point Harbour, and from there sailed onward.  Though instead of sailing to Fort Levensk as I was familiar with we took another route.  Sadly, because we rushed so quickly and because my familiarity with geography was so poor, I forget what town we stopped at next.  But there on the docks, Mith decided to finally speak to Anna Lee in private about the things that had been so obviously bothering him.  It seemed that for hours I waited for the two to come forth from the shroud of misty darkness so that we could at last finish our journey to Hlint.

Eventually Anna Lee came forth alone and it seemed Mith would not be coming with us further.  So we two began to set off once more, this time Anna Lee sure of the short route that would lead us home, while I was still unfamiliar with this particular place.  As we began to walk away, however, Mith came running out of the darkness and stopped Anna Lee in a manner of what seemed to be desperate pleading.  I was tired, and out of sorts for being so lost, and I just wanted to return to Hlint to be back in a place I knew well.  I became upset with the two and their personal affairs and left them foolishly, departing into the woods along the only road I saw out of the town.

On the road alone, in the dark of night I came to a fork.  I didn’t know which route to take, so to begin I set off down the left path.  When I saw the road had begun to look overgrown from lack of use and upkeep I decided I’d chosen the wrong direction and so turned about and went back to the fork in the road.  This time I chose the other path with a bit of uncertainty, thinking perhaps it was unwise to go on without Mith and Anna Lee as my senses finally began to overcome my foolish pride.  But, press on I did and to my delight I arrived at Castle Blackford.  From there I was confident of finding my way back to Hlint for I knew just down the road was Fort Llast, and down the road from it would be the comforting beds of the Wild Surge Inn in Hlint itself.

Upon arriving in Hlint and re-binding my soul to the Bindstone there, I found however that I could not sleep.  I shamefully admitted to myself that I should not have left my friends and realized they might be by now very concerned about where I had run off to without knowing my way.  So I climbed the tower of Hlint and watched the west gate for their arrival for some time.  Eventually Ozymandius appeared, and at first I hid from him in my shame for leaving Anna Lee and Mith.  However, courage won out in my heart and I approached him upon the tower, both for the need to do what was right, and to have some companionship from a friend to ease my troubled mind.  After talking for some time, my need for sleep eventually caught hold of me fiercely and I bid Ozymandius a good night and asked him to watch for Anna Lee and Mith on my behalf.

Several days passed from then, and now we draw much closer to the present for these next events took place only yester-eve.

Awaking at the Wild Surge Inn as I have become accustomed to I ventured forth to see what adventures the new day would bring my way.  I turned off the road and toward the pond to see my friends Anna Lee and Mith seated on the bench at the near end of the pond.  We talked for a short time and I was relieved to hear that Addison had been found and that she had vowed not to try confronting Koralwyn, the kidnapper of Ireth’s daughter Aranna, again on her own.  However, it was not long after that that Addison appeared and began ranting as though she would break that vow.  Mith was rather ingenious and provided Addison with some other challenges to occupy her time, though this seemed to distress Anna Lee to some degree.

Eventually I set off with Rhynn who had also shown up.  She was excited, even giddy at having realized that she had found her homeland and she wanted to celebrate in her manner by taking a swim.  However, she didn’t apparently have bathing garments on hand so we went to east Hlint where she resolved to tailor herself a set.  Seeing her working on her new outfit got me in the mood to do some tailoring work of my own, but it meant I had to leave her to make a trip to the bank and then to purchase some base garments from which I could create some new attire for myself.  When I returned to the crafting house, Rhynn was already gone, but I decided to work on my clothes anyway.

I had not worked for too long when I received word that Rhynn and some others would be heading to the Great Library and that I might come along if I liked.  I immediately dropped what I was doing and left to follow after them to Castle Blackford and via a magic teleportation point onward to the Great Library.  Those things always make me so dizzy.

Once at the Great Library we all searched for clues that might help us find an end to the problems that plague my friends and which also could spell disaster for the rest of the world.  Specifically we looked for books concerning magical binding such as that we thought used by Koralwyn.  We also conversed and threw out ideas with each other to try to decipher the vague clues that might unravel for us the means to end the whole problem.  I felt we made some progress, but eventually it was decided to head outside for some fresh air and a break.

Among the last two to exit the Great Library, we found outside the Heirophant Rhizome speaking with Anna Lee and the rest.  He was most helpful and revealed to us information that seemed to make things much more clear for at least Anna Lee, though I myself remain perplexed by much of the situation.  I suppose it is because I have come in to contact somewhat later, and do not have the full details that the others do.

This now brings my journal up to date, so I feel at ease in resting from my writings once more for a time.  I will see what adventures today brings forth, and perhaps write again in this book on the new morn.

[Nehetsrev]

Entry 4 – Mar 28, 1399 - Cloaked Figure in Hlint

It seems the general insanity of events in Hlint has no end.  After waking I spent some time designing a couple new outfits to wear for things less rigorous than adventuring outdoors.  One outfit I made for just generally lounging around the town, and another I made was a beautiful formal gown.  Anyway, back to the point, as I was walking through town just outside the Wild Surge Inn, a darkly-shrouded, cloaked figure appeared in the streets.

Rhynn, who was also nearby immediately rushed up to challenge the being, and we could all sense it’s darkness and evil nature.  It demanded to see a priest, we’re not entirely sure which priest it wanted, but Rhynn declined to help it since it was not exactly being civil itself.  This apparently annoyed it and it stared her down with a gaze that had such malevolence as to send Rhynn to the ground in a fit.  I wasn’t thinking too brightly, being upset that it had done what it had to a close friend and I mouthed off to it some myself.  When it gazed upon me dark feelings began to rise within me and I decided it prudent to back off, lest I meet the fate that Rhynn had.  Concern for my friend brought me out of what bewitched state of mind I had been in and I knelt to try helping her then.

Several others had also gathered around at the appearance of the thing, and they continued to question it.  At last the cloaked figure said it was looking for Ozymandius, and that it and others wanted a certain orb which I assume they believed in his possession.  It said the liches were watching.  Then it disappeared in the same manner in which it had arrived.  Rhynn recovered not long after and resolved to wait for Ozymandius to show so she could deliver the message.

Hours passed and Ozymandius never came to Hlint as was normal for him to do most nights.  I grew concerned for him, hoping the liches, or their dark servants wouldn’t find him before he could be warned to prepare himself.  In the end Rhynn sent a message to him with a falcon.

In the mean time I met several new friends, including Angela Swan, the Rider of Insanity.  Her bond with it had definitely twisted her mind, though from our meeting she seemed harmless enough, and even polite in an odd way.  I also met Aryx, a strange being who appeared to have a human torso and the hindquarters of a lion.  He and I went down into the crypts together, and later a lady calling herself Kae joined us for a time.  I collected many skeleton knuckles in the hopes that the next time I would meet Master Jin Lun Lee he would enchant my short-sword as he had my long sword.  Eventually the three of us parted ways though and I ventured into the crypts alone for some time before I grew tired of it.

So, after adventuring in the crypts for most of the day, and with evening upon the town of Hlint, I returned to the Wild Surge Inn to wash and change clothes.  I wanted to unwind a bit from the constant slaying of skeletons I had pushed myself through.  Donning my new purple, fuchsia, and yellow outfit I made for general lounging about, I stepped out into the evening air.  Seeing Rhynn and Freldo up on the tower reminded me of Ozymandius and the black figure.  With that in mind I found I could not shake the tension on my nerves.  I asked Freldo to perform a song, which was rather rudely drown out by the squalling of another would-be bard new to Hlint.  My restlessness did not ease, so I decided perhaps a walk around the pond might sooth me.  It didn’t, and I ended sitting on the bench on the end of the pond nearest the Wild Surge Inn, whiling away the time by tossing pebbles into the otherwise still waters to watch the ripples they’d make.  I must have dozed off at some point, for when I woke it was morning, but I was still on edge and decided to keep sitting there tossing my pebbles into the pond.

It was about then that a rather charming man of half-elven heritage approached me there.  After our initial introductions and my realization that he was one who’d been with us at the Great Library only some nights ago, we talked for quite some time.  To be more honest rather, I seemed to do most of the talking and he listened very well.  The conversation ranged through many things inevitably including the deep loss in my past in its course.  It was a pleasure to be in his presence, and perhaps that is why I talked so long-windedly.

Eventually evening came again and we decided to go hunting the essence of a will-o-the-wisp together in the high moors.  A man over in Fort Llast had commissioned my aid in procuring the essence, and so gave reason for the hunt.  Never before had I seen, or slain, so many of the lizard-folk as that night.  They seemed drawn to the will-o-the-wisp and even as though they fought to protect it.  It was not a pleasurable thing to do to slaughter so many, despite my earlier death at the hands of one of their artillerists at an earlier date.  Were it not for Ifion’s magic’s to protect me and aid me, I would have most assuredly fallen before them instead.  In the end we emerged from the high moors with our prize, and proceeded on to Fort Llast.

There, to my pleasure, we met Master Jin Lun Lee after delivering the essence.  I told him of the skeleton knuckles I had already collected and asked if he would enchant my second blade for me once I had finished collecting the final two boxes to complete the set of five.  He agreed, and to lighten my load he offered to take the boxes I already had if I would accompany him to his home to drop them off there.  At about that time, Anna Lee also approached us as she had business with Master Lee as well.  Ifion had other things to do and so left the party, but Anna Lee, Jin Lun, and I went to his home to deliver the three full boxes of knuckles there.  Upon arriving Master Lee discovered his stores already full to capacity, and so he asked us to come with him to the temple where he could immediately use the knuckles to make the healing potions from them that he intended.  The hour was growing far late, but I decided to go ahead, since the man had been rather generous in our past dealings.

After he was finished with making the potions he tried to talk us both into accompanying himself and two others on a gold-mining expedition.  At which point Anna Lee seemed to begin having issues brought on by her special condition.  I tried to explain then that it may not be safe with Anna in her condition to go on such an expedition.  Master Lee seemed determined to have our company as he was not familiar with the special nature and symptoms Anna’s condition and he persisted in his assertion that we should come.  Finally, too tired to argue or explain further, and rather frustrated with the man even as kind as he seemed, I made excuse to leave for myself hoping Anna might follow my lead for her own good.  I am again saddened to say I left her in such a position, perhaps I am not the good friend to her that I try to convince myself I am.  Fortunately, as I made way to the docks to set sail home, I passed Talen who appeared to be headed to meet up with Master Lee and Anna and the rest.  Seeing him there helped me to feel she would be kept well enough out of trouble, as I know he is a capable man.

At long last after all these events I returned ‘home’ to the Wild Surge Inn in Hlint and paid for my usual room.  Entering there then, and as soon as my head touched pillow, I slept soundly until this morn.  Waking refreshed and inspired to write again, I have now done so, and these are the events of the last few days from my eyes.  May this new day and those after hold brighter tidings than seem to be the usual goings on as of lately.

[Nehetsrev]

Entry 5 - Apreal 3, 1399 - A few more days...

Well, as time would have it's wandering passage unfurled, yet a few more days have spun out for me.  As seems to be happening rather too frequently for my liking I managed to get myself killed twice within these last few days.  I'll go into the specifics a little later in this entry, for death was not the only thing among my experiences.

The first of these days started much as usual and I rose from my bed at the Wild Surge Inn to venture into the crypts and slay enough skeletons to fill the remainder of space within the two boxes I had promised to Master Jin Lun Lee.  Then I wandered about town rather idle for a short time, although I did craft a fine phenalope from a phenalope crystal cluster I had found.  I even saved the dust from the parts that I flawed in my efforts to cut additional gems.  Eventually I ran into Ozymandius and he told me he was going to Lelion Arms Inn in Lelion to listen to, and perhaps participate some in the telling of an epic story.  I felt I could use some entertainment and so I accompanied him along with a lady by the name of Syclia.

We were at the inn for some time and I had changed into my formal gown for the occasion when everything seemed to black out as sometimes happens in our world.  Upon awakening I found myself back in the Wild Surge Inn in Hlint.  Not wishing to miss the storytelling I rushed back to Lelion still dressed in my gown and unfortunately it rained along the way while I was passing near Castle Blackford and the gown was ruined.  Soaked to the bone and frustrated I arrived at last again at the Lelion Arms Inn and changed into my casual outfit since it had stayed more or less dry in my pack.  Again after the story started the world went black and I awoke once more in Hlint.  These shifts in reality or whatever they are were getting frustrating, twice in one night!  I set out again and made it back in time to get a good seat at the event.  This third time round the storytelling went off more or less without a hitch, unless you count the interruptions of personal tensions that arose form some of the people who were involved with the events of the story.  It was, I assume, a true story and in centered around the efforts of a group of heroes to locate and destroy the phylactery of a lich who is one of Blood's generals.  Alas, the phylactery was not destroyed, but instead captured by Black Mages in the end, though it appeared all hope was not lost entirely.

After the storytelling I was pleased to see Master Lee among the crowd so that I could finish my business with him.  After telling him I had the remaining two boxes he stated we would have to go gather some of the ingredients for the enchantment yet.  So we ventured to a cave near Fort Velensk that was full of ogres, but within which the topaz we needed could be found.  We fought our way in far enough that Master Lee could mine the valuable mineral, but then his protective wards wore off just as another huge wave of ogres rushed upon us.  As you might guess, this was where I met the first of my two demises during these last days of my adventuring.  Suffice it say after awakening in a new body at the Bind stone in Hlint, I resolved to wait there in hopes Master Lee would return and finish our business, which he did in time.

Recovered at last from that bout with death, and somewhat eager to try my newly enchanted short sword along side my long sword, I ventured into east Hlint on my way to the high moors.  Whereupon, I met Rhynn on my way and she gladly joined me.  She related how she'd been to see her homeland once more along with Freldo her close friend.  She told me her parents still wouldn't acknowledge her, but that some of her siblings did.  As we discussed the trip she had made we arrived in the moors and set our mind then to slaying lizard-folk.  Alas, it was almost we who were slain and we were forced to retreat under cover of Rhynn's invisibility spells.

We returned to Hlint and found two others who joined us then.  We returned then after resting and slew quite easily with our friends by our sides those lizard folk who had nearly slain us.  Overconfident in our victory there, we pushed further into the moors looking for more lizard folk to slay, and find them we did.  These were not the regulars of the lizard folk forces however, they were the largest, most well-trained of their warriors and they took us by surprise with their ferocity.  Truth be told only one of our number made it out of the moors alive in that encounter and as you've guessed by now, this was how I met my second demise of this period for this entry.  Fortunately, in neither instance did I meet the Soul Mother, who has recently returned from her vacation.  I do not know whether Rhynn did or not, but I hope she didn't.  Talen said he was fortunate as I and didn't meet the Soul Mother either.

After the second death I rested until waking moments ago to write this entry.  I hope these next days I do not die again.  It is such a painful thing to endure, and with the Soul Mother back, the risk grows that the next time may bring me closer to the last.

[Nehetsrev]

Entry 6 - Apreal 18, 1399

Once again, these last few days have proven to be full of adventures of different sorts.  Everything began quiet enough in Hlint and I was able to finish fashioning the dresses that Rhynn had asked me to make for her.  Later that day I met with her near in one of the stores of east Hlint and gave her the new clothes.  She showed off a dress of her own that she'd fashioned that also looked quite nice and we sort of had our own little fashion show there.

Afterward we began to set out to find the other riders.  Rhynn seemed to have the impression that time was growing very short now, and stopping Koralwyn would need to be done very soon.  About that time we ran into Addison and another friend (I think his name was Kyle, but my memory may not be serving me rightly).  We talked with them about finding the other riders and hopefully at last getting them all assembled, but Addison grew restless and needed to indulge her need for action.  So, together the four of us walked to the arena in Fort Velensk to practice fighting with each other.  I must admit that though I sense my own skill with the sword has grown over recent days, I spent more time on my back than standing to fight.  Addison proved to be the most challenging of all, defeating everything that the rest of us could bring upon her, except perhaps one or two of Rhynn's spells.

After the practice session I needed a great deal of rest, and the others apparently departed while I slept.  When at last I woke from my slumber I found myself alone, and wishing to return to Hlint.  Despite the danger on the roads between Fort Velensk and there I determined to set out by myself, however Toran had seen fit to guide others to Fort Velensk to aid my return.  I met there with Dervish, a man with an eye-patch I had met before, and two others who accompanied him.  We all worked together and made our way back to Fort Llast together, at which point we parted ways and I followed the road safely back to Hlint.

In Hlint I met again with Rhynn, Mith and Ireth.  Rhynn explained with woe how the dresses I'd made for her had suffered destruction in an unfortunate event, but she provided me with the materials to fashion anew another pair of clothes for her.  When I finished with that and returned to give her the new clothes, Rhynn had some gifts of value for me as well.  She gave unto me two enchanted rings and an enchanted amulet, telling me they had been given to her by another with the condition that they be passed on to someone else who could use them when she could obtain better for herself.  She mad the same request of me, and I agreed to it, though I must admit they will be hard to part with for their sentimental value.  I had never really expected to hit off so well with Rhynn the first time we met, and yet it would seem we two have become great friends.

Eventually, Rhynn had some things to discuss with Mith alone, so I puttered about for a short time until I decided to try my hand at mining in the caves of the Red Light Goblins.  On my way out of town I met with Aryx and after we talked a short time he decided to come with me.  Our venture into the caves went well, and together we slew the few goblins who tried to prevent our delving and made our way to the second level of caverns where I had spied some mineral deposits on one prior venture.  Using my gem-pick I chiseled away at the deposits to discover they yielded greenstone.  We journeyed further into the caves and discovered several more deposits after the first seemed to have run out.  Eventually a rather large goblin force appeared to attempt to bring about our end, but we handled them well and slew them all.  However, with the goblins obviously aware now to our presence, and my gem-pick having broken in an attempt to mine a final greenstone deposit, we decided it would be best to head out and split our takings.  We each profited with 40 gold taken from the goblins slain, and 4 clumps of greenstone mined from the caves.

After divvying up the loot as it were, we parted ways and I headed to the crafting house where I was able to cut 6 greenstone gems from the four clumps of mineral that were my share.  I didn't have enough money in my purse to buy the oil to further detail the gems, and I didn't want to make the trip to the bank to make a withdrawal either, so I left the gems in their rather rough state to be detailed later.

I began to make my way back to the Wild Surge, thinking I might rest up a bit when I noticed Master Ozymandius nearby.  It wasn't too often that the chance arose to speak with him, so I decided to spend some time in conversation.  I am undoubtedly glad for that decision, and indeed I gained a great deal of insight into the nature of the mysterious bard of legend.  I learned a lot about many other aspects of our existence from him as well, we must have talked for almost a full day it seemed.  At last with eyes weary and body fighting my will to remain awake any longer at all, we parted ways and I went in to the inn to sleep.  Having freshly awoken I've now written the summary of these few days into my journal and I feel ready to set out for new adventures today.  Perhaps I shall start dating these entries to give better understanding of the passage of time between entries and the events therein.

[Nehetsrev]

Entry 7 - Mai 4, 1399

I have received so much help, and so many gifts these past weeks since arriving in Hlint.  Just recently even Ozymandius gave me a gift, aside from the fount of knowledge he seems to oft willingly share to my curiosity.  He gifted me with a set of strength enhancing gloves that fit as though they were crafted for my hands alone.  I'm not so good at repaying in kind such gifts as I've received I realized later when I caught myself calling him an old fart again.  Usually I only say such things in jest, of course, but still I question whether the things I say are not taken hurtfully instead.  I suppose if Ozymandius thought my intent truly born of disrespect he would not hesitate to teach me so, for what am I to him with his great magic’s?

My quick tongue seems to be getting me into a lot of trouble these last few days.  I also deeply hurt Addison, speaking of things I don't know much about, and knowing as well that the things she does and says herself she cannot always control with her condition.  I curse those blasted horses for the way they have tainted the lives of these people I consider friends.  I also wonder if after the affair is over, when they no longer ride the horses, whether I will recognize them anymore?  I have only known them as how they are now, bound with the traits of the horses which twist their own emotions always to those traits.

Rhynn has told me that I won’t be allowed to go with them in their final conflict because the plane to which they must travel would be too dangerous.  I'm not sure how I feel about it.  They are my friends, and my heart lies with seeing them free and being by their side in their hours of greatest need.  I am also somewhat relieved for to die in vain having not provided them with support at such a time and instead weighing down their hearts with the burden of my passing would be counter to my wishes for them.  I know Rhynn is right, and that as yet the planes are not places where I can safely walk.

Events these last days have at times been unsettling.  Rhynn and I ventured into the Sielwood, to the cave where I had recovered the bard's necklace some days ago.  I spotted some malachite there that I wished to mine, and got myself overburdened with it.  As a result our progress on our return trip was slowed and outside the cave we encountered the huge spiders that so frequently roam the Sielwood.  We tried at first to sneak past, but they must have sensed Rhynn, for one moment she was behind me, the next I heard the sounds of fighting and turned to see her fall under their clawed legs.  I fought my way back, killing the beasts that were already severely wounded by Rhynn's magic’s, but not in time to stop her life from ebbing.  I realized with shame that my greed was responsible for her death and with a heavy heart I returned through the forest and back to Hlint, encountering about half way one who gave me further magic aid and healed my own wounds.

Having reached Hlint, I made my way to the Wild Surge, I felt weakened and realized that the bite of the spiders had poisoned me.  I'm lucky I made it as far as I did, and I collapsed inside the doorway before I could even see about getting to my usual room.  Doria or the inn keeper must have realized I was bad off and allowed me to sleep off the effects of the poison without moving me and without being disturbed by the other patrons of the inn.  When I awoke again I felt well enough to head back outside.

Whereupon heading outside I heard Rhynn's familiar voice, and that of master Mith from up atop the tower.  I made my way to see why Rhynn's words sounded so heated and discovered they were not alone atop the platform.  Some darkly robed figures were taunting Rhynn, calling her a slave, they looked the type to use the dark magic’s, and laughed in glee at rousing her ire.  moments later Rhynn sunk to her knees in front of the one who seemed to lead the bunch and began repeating that a slave must learn her place.  She did not seem herself, indeed I felt she had become bewitched by them.  Master Mith acted swiftly then to drag Rhynn away from their influence and down off the tower.  I stayed but long enough to spit at the feet of the dark leader and comment that I didn't believe any of them were worth the space they occupied.  Then I left to see to Rhynn, my friend, for to me she and her well-being were more important than anything the dark ones had to offer in way of retort.  I'd have gladly cut their tongues out with my blades however, though I am not foolish enough to believe I'd have succeeded in doing so if I had tried.

I followed the sounds of master Mith's voice as he tried to get through to Rhynn.  There, next to the road they stood and Rhynn continued to act as though she believed herself a slave.  She even began calling Mith by the name Saebhel, whom Rhynn had once explained was the cruel wizard that had once apprenticed her, and also taken advantage of her.  So bad was her state of mind, she even forgot Freldo, despite our pointing out to her that she wore the rings he'd only just given her.  Though Rhynn believes it was the power of her own memories that caused her to act so, I still hold that she was bewitched somehow, for what memories can cause one to forget even their most loved ones?  We pleaded and spoke with Rhynn, trying to convince her she was no slave until the point she pulled forth a  knife and began to cut herself.  Mith grabbed the knife from her, but not until she'd lain open the back of her hand with it.  With nothing else working I thought to fill my canteen with the cold well-water from the well nearby and thus poured the icy drink upon her head.  The shock of cold and wet seemed to do the trick and washed away the bond of whatever witchery plagued her mind then.  Grandpa had often said sometimes the simplest things can break the hold of magic.  It appeared this time he was right, as he often seemed to be.

If as Rhynn believes it was not some witchery that held her mind, but her own memories and past, I hope she never suffers such a regression again.  My heart cannot bear to see a friend in a such a state.  I wanted to cry, but I knew for her I must try as best as I could to break the spell.  Why do some in this world see fit to be so cruel to others?  What measure of peace in their own hearts is ever gained by such hurtful acts?  Yet as I said earlier, my tongue can be as wicked when temper feeds it and I do not harness it, but instead set it free to fly about like a whip.  I must learn to control myself and focus not upon the hate of others, but instead upon what I can do to ease the pains of the suffering and make the world a better place for all to live in from my presence.  Yet I wonder how when I cannot still even deal with the losses of my own past.  I've hidden my feelings well these last days, deep within me, tampered down by making the hurts of others my concern instead.  Yet I know they're there, aching...  Hidden behind a mask of faked joy and happiness.  It is sad I do have much to be thankful and happy for with my new friends...but, the pain I bear inside makes me feel more hollow than ever.  I must find some way to honestly deal with it.

Erathim, my love, I miss you so but I beg of you, release my heart and let me live again.  Or perhaps it is I who holds so firmly to the memory of you?  Toran, teach me then to let go.  I don't want to feel torn between my love of past and the love I should have for simply living.  The strain is more than I can take alone.  What laws of order can govern my heart to peace again?  Is vengeance the way?  Will slaying endlessly the goblins and orcs I find help heal my heart?  I don't think it will, for I've tried that with fervor and it has failed me thus far.  Perhaps I must find those directly responsible for the murder of my loved ones?  Is that the way Toran?  Must my vengeance be so specific?  Why do you not answer me with your voice when I pray, is it to teach me faith and patience and self-reliance?  What use is there in following you if your laws and precepts bring me no comfort or strength of heart and soul?  I can learn faith in myself, and patience, and be self-reliant without you to aid me.  Many others walk the path of godlessness.  I had walked that path for most of my life.  Who was the kindly paladin you sent my way upon the road?  Why is it I can find no other paladins of yours who act so?  And yes, I've met other paladins of yours, but they seem so callous, only concerned with bringing your law and order to the lands, but not seeming to realize that such laws must be set instead in the hearts of all in order to truly be effective.  How does bringing death to the lawless give your words power, oh Toran?  For will there not always be those who abandon law and order to seek their own glory and bring pain and suffering?  Answer me!  I beg.

[Nehetsrev]

Entry 8 - Mai 9, 1399

I have fallen.  Down deep into the most depraved hole of being.  Never had I thought I could fall so far from the place in morality I had been planted in as a child.  Today I betrayed, in a way, perhaps my dearest friend.  True there were circumstances that made things confusing, but I should never have gone so far, as one pointed out to me.  I will explain so at least some record will remain of why I do what I prepare to do now.

To begin, things were going well, I crafted some wonderful gems and even managed to sell them at market value, though since it was a friend who bought them I threw in some extras afterward.  Grandpa always said never to cheat anyone, and always give your friends the sweetest deals if you could afford to.  I also learned some basic alchemy and put it to good use making my own polishing oils for my gem-crafting.  Thanks to a kind woman by the name of Tyria I learned the recipe for the oil and where to find the ingredients.  With practice I made a total of 5 bottles of the stuff.  In any case, I felt elated to have had such a good beginning.

And then I met Rhynn.  She lapsed, again.  Cold water didn't bring her out of it either, as it had once before.  And here is where my depravity begins.  Desperate to help my friend in any way I could, I made a plan to act as though her former master Saebhel had sold her to me and that I was her new owner.  I lied to her, showing her a piece of parchment and saying it was the title of ownership for her.  I went so far with the charade as to even slap her in trying to convince her, only so that I could keep her from wandering until help could arrive of course.  The plan backfired, partly thanks to interference by those who didn't understand, partly due to Rhynn's own stubbornness and brainwashing to believe that Saebhel loved her, and she him.  Now, she doesn't trust a thing I say, I may as well be the stranger she believes me to be.

I am cursed it would seem to losing everyone dear to me.  I may as well lose myself, and that is where I am preparing to go.  They are all safer without me anyway, I am only a burden to them.  A weak mewling lamb who is constant need of saving and comforting.  I will run again, and wander, as I did before my summons.  The dragon is wrong, I am no hero, I cannot rise to such greatness.  I am a failure, a dishonor to the memory of my family and to Erathim.  I dare not even carry his blade with me now, lest I bring further shame upon us.  I will leave it with Rhynn, if she'll take it from me in her current state.  Should she recover, she deserves at least that as a keepsake of the good times we had together though few as they have been.  If she will not take it, I will leave it with Freldo perhaps, or in the bank vault of Hlint.

Enough writing.  I go!

[Nehetsrev]

Entry 9 - Month 5, Day 15, 1399
  Well, so much for leaving. It seems Toran himself has taken steps to bar my path away from Hlint. No matter which way I travel, either calamity ensues or I simply find I don't have the will to continue away further. It doesn't matter I guess. I can just stay away from everyone and they'll be better off without me. I gave Erathim's sword to Lady Addison as I could not find Rhynn, or rather, I found her and she was well again and I did not wish to risk causing her the pain that I knew it would cause her. She said she remembered the horrible things I'd done to her, and then she thanked me for doing them! Thanked me for betraying her so! She said she knew I'd done it all just to protect her, but even still I feel the guilt of it. I cannot carry the weight of what I have done, even if she is thankful for the doing of it. I know it was wrong. I knew in my heart before I even went down that path. My name is still a mockery to me. My heart will never know true peace. I plan to take a lesson from Anna, and act as tough everything is fine until I finally fade from their minds and they forget about me. Since I find that I cannot leave Hlint, this seems the only way to gain solitude of a sort and thus protect them all from myself. Though it's odd, a few of them seemed to think I was worth-while. I don't know what they see in me. They said I am a true friend, but I wonder if I am? How can I be a true friend when in adversity I run like a coward and leave them like I've done to Anna and Rhynn, and even Addison? No, I'd be better off dead, if I could die. I'd be better off alone and wandering like before, if Toran and fate would permit it. Instead I'm stuck in Hlint. I'm sure it will happen again. If I make good friends they will all be taken from me as was my family, as was Erathim. Again and again until my heart stops beating from the ache of the losses. That never-ending ache.

[Nehetsrev]

Entry 10 - Month 5, Day 28, 1399
  I've awakened... Perhaps that's not quite the right word for it, or maybe it is. I suddenly found myself outside the Hlint crypts bleeding badly from a number of wounds that I didn't recall sustaining. I wandered a bit and came across Anna Lee near the well. She healed my wounds and told me to quit bleeding all over town. I felt confused, as though my brain itself were twisted within my skull and contorted into positions no mind ought to be in. Things have been gradually clearing up since then, but there are still large holes in my recollection of the past weeks. This awakening was on the 24th day of the month. I'm told from the lips of those around me that for the four days prior to the 24th I had been acting quite insane. Some even feared that the horse Insanity had chosen me as it's new rider after abandoning Angela. I am thankful for myself only to report that it was found to have chosen Mith instead, though in some way I almost wish it had chosen me. The poor man remains nearly incoherent in his behaviors. He wanders about administering 'Life' tests on random passers-by and other such non-sense. He even gave me a big smelly, slimy carp fresh from the pond. Evidently the illness of mind gripped me even before the 24th day of the month as I do not even recall writing the previous entry to this journal. The words I read in it are so strange to me, and counter to what I believe in...mostly. In a twisted way they ring true with some of my feelings even now. An odd thing happened while I was crafting with Rhynn today in Moraken's tower. She simply stopped and a moment or so later vanished before my eyes. I don't know what happened to her, but I hope it had nothing to do with the horses, Koralwyn, or Elezandor. I will have to make a point to retrieve Erathim's blade from Addison the next I see her. I don't truly understand why I would have given that away. It is my most treasured possession, in many ways, despite the constant reminder of losing him that it brings.

[Nehetsrev]

Entry 11 - Month 6, Day 9, 1399
  Well, it seems I've a new goal to shoot for, and one I enjoy working toward. A few days ago Rhynn gave me a cut amethyst as a gift, and then asked me if I could polish some of the stones for her. While I doubt my skills as a jeweler are close to perfection, I warned her in advance that I may not be able to cut & polish them further without flawing the gems. She urged me to try anyway, since she herself admitted having even less skill than I in gem crafting. Of the 6 cut amethyst she gave me, I was able to further cut and polish two into fine gems. The four that were flawed I ground up into dust for her. She then invited me to come with her to see what she was going to use them for, and on the way explained she could infuse the beautiful gems with spells! I'd heard of the process before, but being not one who delves into magic I had never seen the workings of such infusing. We went to Moraken's tower for he has the equipment there for aiding in the infusing process. I gave her some additional gems that I could afford to spare and she practiced her art before me. I was amazed when she handed to me a gem with a simple light spell caught within it's core and instructed me that it could only be invoked once. She does need more practice in the art before she will be able to infuse things without many errors, but I know she'll get better with time, as I will further hone my gem-crafting skills. We were both a little high off the successes we had doubted we could achieve, and Rhynn proposed a wonderful idea that we should go into business together once we were better able to perform our respective skills with a higher degree of reliability. The idea caught a part of me and lifted it out of darkness, giving me the inspiration I believe I needed to finally begin putting my past behind me. Since that day I've been thinking of other lines of business I might enjoy undertaking. I've grown better in my skills tailoring robes and fine garments, so perhaps I'll start a business designing and selling clothes to all who pass through Hlint and wish to show an eye for fashion. That would certainly show Ozymandius that my style of dress isn't as oddball as he likes to say it is. I think I'd enjoy such a business venture, successful or not, simply because I enjoy working with clothing and jewelry. Other notes I think I should write about from recent days include retrieving Erathim's blade from Addison. Not only did she spend days searching the world for me after I'd given her the blade and told her I was leaving Hlint, but she also gifted me with a second long sword made of iron. It is a finely crafted weapon, and once I have it enchanted by Master Jin Lun Lee, I believe it will even cut deeper than Erathim's blade does. More important than the gift of the blade, and of greater value to me than any possession I might acquire, Addison said she counted me among her true friends, and thought of me as being even as close as a sister. I was honest with her, and said I too count her as a close friend, but that I do not know her well enough yet to think of her as closely as a sister. I am sure in time our ties of friendship will strengthen to such a degree, but I have never given my truest friendship easily. Grandpa said that the most worthwhile relationships develop over time and are built by ever increasing layers of mutual trust and respect.

[Nehetsrev]

Entry 12  - Aw...forget the date, it doesn't matter today.

Though I'm writing this today, it's been several days again since last I wrote.  Parchment, paper and the like are rather expensive and I've been pouring all my money and time into learning my crafts so that Rhynn & I can start our business sooner.  Perhaps I'll be ready even as soon as the ordeal with the Riders is over and she and the others return to their 'normal' selves.

Rhynn came into the crafting house last night floating on the breeze like a vagrant butterfly in a field of an endless strawberry patch in full bloom.  She told me Freldo had finally kissed her and even had I been able to tie the entire world to her feet, I don't think it could have succeeded in holding her spirits down.  She is most definitely and completely infatuated with him, and I think he with her.  I hope it lasts forever for them both, for if not there will come crashing like thunder one, or both, to the ground and the deepest valleys of brokenness.  I deal daily with the pain of Erathim's absence, and his being involuntary it still hurts so.  I can only imagine that the pain of someone leaving intentionally would be a far greater one.

Another thought crosses my mind now, perhaps if the two wed or run off together or whatever they decide to do, Rhynn will not wish to open a business with me after all.  It would not pain me if this were so, so long as she was happy with Freldo.  I would miss her company a bit, of course, as a good friend should.  Although, I'm sure we would likely still see each other often enough.

In any event, with or without Rhynn as my partner I think I shall enjoy pursuing the idea of a business venture.  I've already gotten a paying customer for a dress just last night!  Elated as I was I forsook some sleep and created the garment to the specifications and measurements given me by the customer.  I'm sure his loved one will cherish the gift when he gives it unto her.  I will finish the smaller modifications and adjustments to it this morning and have it ready by the next time I see him.

Love seems to be surrounding me in this crazy, turbulent world.  Perhaps it will see fit to lift me up once more as it has Rhynn and others I know.  Still the strings of my heart pull at me from the memory of Erathim, I don't know if I'm ready to let him go just yet, and as long as those strings remain intact I will be forever bound from the flight love offers.

Lady Addison brought me another gift in these last few days too, I should not forget to mention that.  It is a finely crafted short-blade imbued with magic.  She said, when it deems me worthy it will allow me to wield it and teach me to invoke it's special power.  Until that day I will keep it safe in the small wooden box she handed it to me in.  She also gave me some minerals that she would like fashioned into jewelry for herself.  I will wait until my skills with gem-work are more precise, I do not wish to flaw them and bring them ruin when Lady Addison has been so gracious to me.

Well, enough writing, I should get to work on finishing that dress now.

(the margins of this page are decorated with doodles of sketched roses and some small designs of rather unique looking clothes)

[Nehetsrev]

Entry 13 - Today I wrote a poem
 
  Well, Some intersting events today. I went with Rhynn, Ireth, Master Ketil, Freldo, Kyle, and a few others to a place housing the ruins of a bard's guild called the Ineffible Chord. There we fought Slaadi and dark-robed figures that from what I overheard might have come from Pandemonium itself. They were very strong, and in jsut the first seconds of fighting I fell beneath their cold blades. Fortunately, someone of our party raised me up again and I avoided any chance of a meeting with the Soul Mother as a result. Once the Slaadi and other beings were slain, we set about doing what we'd come to do, and searched the ruins for an amulet that we'd been told would be key in defeating Koralwyn. Kyle found the amulet we were there for, but Ireth snatched it from him before anyone could blink. Ozymandius also appeared and offered some information about the amulet and it's history.He also generously paid the toll for those who'd come without enough money to return to Hlint via the magic portal.
  After returning to Hlint I found Kyle trying rather unsuccessfully to keep Mith from running about town in his crazed state. Shortly after, Rhynn and Freldo showed up to join us. We gave greeting of sorts to some new folks visiting Hlint, and I think we may have scared them with our oddness, though admittedly that was what Rhynn set out to do, and I along with her. We can be so full of mischief sometimes.
  I shared a poem with Rhynn a little later. It's one I only just wrote today. In writing this I think i've gotten one step nearer to healing of my past losses. I'll commit the poem to paper here in my journal, though I'm not sure it's finished quite yet, and I have no title for it.
[INDENT]  
 
  When daybreak comes at first light of sun, I shed a tear,
  For this is the hour in which your passing left me in fear.
 
  When sun sets and darkness falls, a cloak upon the land, I cry.
  Yes, this is the hour from which all I loved were torn without a reason why.
 
  With each mark passed under the shade of the sundial I mourn.
  Yet nothing marks my passage on the roads. My heart is forever torn.
 
  Another year,
  another sigh,
  another pair of soles far past worn.
 
  Sands of the hourglass now depleated,
  Shades of sad memories at last defeated.
  But can I ever fill the hollow hole?
  Will love again touch this fallow soul?
 
  Another year,
  another try,
  another season of hope is born.
 
 
[INDENT]  -by Treana Min E'Zoenna
[/INDENT][/INDENT]

[Nehetsrev]

Entry 14
  So much has happened in the last few days. And the ominous feeling that things regarding the Pandemonium problem as I've taken to calling it will soon be wrapping up one way or another grow ever more predominant on my mind and the minds of my friends. Add to that the burden of our every-day frustrations, trials and tribulations and it's a wonder that we cankeep anything together.
  At the Lelion Arms Inn & Tavern, Addison began to make some trouble for Freldo and Rhynn again because of Indulgence and the way it affects her. I tried reasoning her out of it at first but as usual when the curse has it's hold on her, she would not listen to reason. I was forced to do something very unpleasant. I lied to her, making her believe I'd been with her lover Cole, though honestly I've never met the man. It was enough to draw her out of the inn and away from Freldo, though I was apprehensive that I might lose my head as a result. Once she was outside I told her the truth, and explained why I lied like I had. She seemed to understand and her mood changed. We then decided to go on a journey together to pick some grapes for some wine. Along the way we met Anna Lee and Mr. Mith, who accompanied us for most of the rest of the journey. We even stopped at cave Addison knew of and mined some gold after fighting off some bandits. All in all, I think it was the most pleasant time I've spent with Addison.
  Ariving back in Hlint, I found myself inducted into a party heading into the mines of Haven, consisting of Freldo, Rhynn, Jharl, Bandikoot and Ash, as well as Kyle for a time. Our venture was very successful and we lost no one along the way, though there were a couple of close calls. I found the mines of Haven most beautiful to behold with all of their sub-terranian lakes and shimmering crystal formations. If it were not for the ogres there, I'd have liked to have stayed for much longer despite the chill underground air.
  I am tired. I lay down now my quill and go to slumber now in my usual bed here at the Wild Surge Inn in Hlint. The doings of these next few days weigh heavy upon me. I pray to Toran that we survive to accomplish our goals and defeat Koralwyn.

[Nehetsrev]

Entry 15 - The End?
  The day arrived, we gathered together in Lelion at first. Then we set out for the entrance to the cave wherein lies the portal to the plane of Pandemonium. It was a group between 20 and 30 in size I think, though my estimate could be wrong. Ozymandius was with us, having performed a ritual to activate a binding power on the amulet and bound Insainty to it, and hopefully Koralwyn as well when she again donned the amulet. Inside the cave we passed unhindered by the Slaadi, for they wished to be rid of Koralwyn as well. However, other horrors stood in our path, including weapons animated by magic and escaped patients of the Sanitariums of Pandemonium. Grimly we fought our way to the portal, I died once in that span to the death throws of a storm or something that exploded violently. Then we entered the plane itself, and our ears were all filled with the wicked howling of the winds, nearly enough so to drive one to madness. We progressed toward Koralwyn's lair, fighting as we went. I died twice more in the twisted coridoors of the asylum. Finally, so close to our goal the stronger of our group lead the way to the final chamber where she awaited us. I didn't see it for myself, but I could hear the intense fighting from around the corner and I admit I froze there on the spot in terror for some time. When at last I gained control of myself again, I could hear Koralwyn's tauntings. She sarcastically thanked Ozymandius and the rest of us for returning her amulet, and I think she may have put it on, but if she did the binding didn't work, or at least not the way we expected. She unleashed powerful magics just then that swept even round the bend to where I stood. I tried to flee after the first blast, but the second caught me before I could get clear and I died again for the fourth time in the venture. My body could handle no more and I soon awoke to find myself at the bindstone in Hlint.
  If anyone else had died in those blasts, they must have been bound elsewhere, or been resurrected, for I was the lone member of our party in Hlint, at least to my sight. I made my way, a ghostly shell of myself, to the row of benches near the pond. There was another sitting there reading a book I think, but I was in too much shock to notice details well. I set down on the bench, staring blankly into the pond with that somewhat still-dead feeling that accompanies the event of dying and being drawn back to the bindstone. I must have muttered my thoughts aloud as I anguished over what appeared to be our failure. I must have said that I thought the world would soon end. The other person spoke in response to my woes and I heard dimly the words. At first they scarcely registered, my brain was so scattered.
  Whoever the person was, I never got a name, they told me that Koralwyn was a fallen Cellstial, and that she didn't intend to take the planes in a struggle for power, but rather merely wished to return home to Cellestia from which she'd been cast out. She said she was a plane-walker herself, and that she would try talking with Koralwyn to put an end to things or some such. She even thought we ought to be helping Koralwyn return to Cellestia instead of trying to stop her. I didn't know what to think, what I'd just heard seemed so contrary to everything that I'd heard from Ozymandius, Rhizome and others thus far that I wasn't certain I could trust this woman now speaking to me. I abruptly stood and retreated to the Inn to rest, though the stranger followed on my heels into the inn. She seemed very upset with me for leaving, and I suppose the way I left was rude. My mind needed rest though, so I shut out her words behind me. I wonder now what Koralwyn had done to get herself thrown from Cellestia in the first place? It would seem to me that it would have to be something fairly bad. Also, Ozymandius had said Koralwyn was a bard and hadn't even brought up her past as a Cellestial. Wouldn't that be something important enough to at least mention? This other person I talked to near the pond also said she'd told her ideas to the Riders on more than one occasion, so I wonder why the Riders didn't stop to consider the merrit of her words? I don't recall the Riders even seeming to have mentioned considering anything but that Koralwyn was out to take control of every last plane, rather than just trying to return to Cellestia.
  If indeed the rest failed in their goal today after my death and return to Hlint, I will talk with them about what this woman said to me by the pond. Maybe there may be a way to rid them of the horses and free both Elezander and Aranna without a deadly confrontation with Koralwyn? If all Koralwyn wants is to return to Cellestia in peace, perhaps something can be worked out.
  (further text in more excited script is written out)
  Yay! The trial is over! My friends are free! Ozymandius told me himself of the result of the mission, and from Kyles account, if I had but lived only seconds more I wouldn't have died at all before Koralwyn's defeat. I have yet to see Rhynn, Addison, Anna, or Ireth since I died, but from the tellings of others it sounds as though the ending was ultimately happy for all but Koralwyn. I even heard that Aranna will be staying with Ireth now! I wish I could have been there, but at least I can take comfort in knowing my death wasn't entirely in vain.

[Nehetsrev]

Entry 16
  It's been a few days now since we set into the planes to defeat Koralwyn. I think I feel now at last recovered from the many passings of my spirit there on the planes, though I suppose the scars in my mind will always remind me of that day, they are nothing next to the scars left by losing my entire town, my family, and my beloved Erathim on that cold winter night some years ago.
  I've spent much of these last few days doing nothing but working on my crafting skills. As a result I managed somehow to craft an exceptional copper ring set with a malachite. It seems to make me feel healthier just wearing it, as though protected from disease. Such is the nature of malachite I have been told. I also made a copper amulet set with a greenstone, not an exceptional one, but as my first amulet I'm still happy with how it turned out. The greenstone seems to help protect against poisons. Such protection isan valuable thing when venturing into the Sielwood for copper or other places where poisonous creatures, or those wielding poisoned weapons, seem to abound.
  I spent some time with Addison traveling to Rilara to deliver mail to a man called Farmer Part. Kyle and a woman named Siloon joined us on our trip. After givingfarmer Parthis mail he told us that the scarecrows he'd set out in his field had somehow become enchanted and came to life and wouldn't let he or anyone else near the fields. He was afraid he and his family would starve if they could not be removed, so the four of us agreed to help rid him of them. Powerful witchery must have been done to the scarecrows, because they did move, and even eminated an aura to cause fear. At one point I became too terrified to fight them and ran back away from the fighting. Afterward Addison and Kyle needed to leave our party to head out on their own for differing reasons, so Siloon and I ventured back to Point Harbor together.
  At Point Harbor, Siloon & I met AnnaLee and Siloon's suiter, though I'm sorry now I forget his name. AnnaLee seemed almost as depressed as ever, though she talked mainly of being there to bake some pies or some such. I don't think that was her real reason for being there. Eventually she excused herself from our pressence and not long afterward I could almost swear I saw Mr. Mith dissappering into the streets not far away. Perhaps something was wrong with him still and that was why Anna was acting so depressed? I hope that isn't the case, despite that Mr. Mith has expressed his mistrust for me, and even open disliking, I still like him and hope he is well now that the trials of Pandemonium are over. I also care for Anna, and I know she and Mr. Mith are very close. Alas, it seems that though the problems of the Pandemonium adventures are over, perhaps a happy ending was not given to all the Riders. I hope for their sake I am wrong, and over-reacting.
  In any event, the world twisted around again, as it does sometimes, and I found myself back in Hlint where I set to honing my crafting skills yet further. In the course of doing so I crossed paths again with Kyle, Rhynn, and Freldo near the Orc Basher's Shop. I said something that upset Kyle, and since I promised him I would not speak of it again, I will not even write what it was about here in my journal lest prying eyes somehow see. Anyway, I chased him down into the crafting house and apologized as sincerely as I have ever, and he accepted my apologies and our friendship is maintained. Afterward, when I returned to Rhynn and Freldo with the dust of some topaz gems they'd asked me to crush up for them, it wasn't long before Siloon crossed our paths. At first I was happy to see her, but then as Freldo and she talked as old friends, and I saw Rhynn begin to bristle, I feared the two would tear each other's throats out right there on the streets. Thankfully, they remained civil enough and such disaster was avoided in the end, but I dare say I hope the two never meet again. When Siloon left, Freldo and Rhynn seemed to need some time alone, probably to discuss the situation of Siloon and other similar issues, so I excused myself and went to collect 'shrooms for making more gem-polishing oils.
  After collecting my 'shrooms I exited the sewers to find Kyle standing nearby. He still seemed a little put off, but I decided not to press things and simple asked him if he was taking it easy to which he replied he was. Parting ways again, I went to Moraken's Tower to brew my gem-polishing oils and walked in on what seemed to be a meeting of great import including Ozymandius, and other powerful looking people. As I made my oils I was tempted into listening in on their discussion since they didn't seem to be wishing to hide it. They talked of Drezneb, and some artifacts of his that they were seeking, at least that's what I thought I heard. Something about a ring, a staff, and an amulet, and perhaps a shroud too? In the end, as I stood listening intently and a bit fearfully to what they said, they decided to go see the Witch of the Sielwood, who evidentally they thought to have some knowledge or something that they wanted and needed. Moraken himself remained, and I felt as though he was staring at me in disapproval for listening in, so I left quickly to avoid further provoking his ire. Perhaps I misread his expression and my interpretation of his mood is completely off, but better to be cautious around those with such power as his.
  After that I went to the crafting house hoping I might find Rhynn and Freldo, or someone else I knew well enough to talk with about what I'd overheard. Alas, none whom I knew were anywhere to be seen, but a man who introduced himself as Andre stopped me in the darkened street outside the Orc Basher's. I thought I recognized him as one who'd come with us to the planes, but I wasn't so sure. In any case I didn't feel familiar enough with the man to share much, despite his questioning whether something big was happening. I don't know whether or not Andre noticed, but I kept my hand on my sword hilt the entire duration of our discussion, for a strange man stopping a woman in a darkened street is oft not a portent of good things. At last I dismissed myself from his company and returned to the safety of the relatively busy Wild Surge Inn, hoping the man wouldn't follow me there. Since I was also quite tired, I payed Yastin for another night's stay in my usual room and asked him to keep an eye out for shifty-looking persons who might be nosing about after me.

[Nehetsrev]

Entry 17
  Wanderlust filled me these last few days. I went to Rilara, and Port Hampshire, Fort Velenske and other places. Near Port Hampshire I was slain by some of the enormous ants that have a colony nearby. I spent some time there then, wreaking my vengeance upon the insects and practicing my sword techniques. I feel I gained some valuable insight from my time there. Also, while I was in that area I chanced upon Mr. Mith and AnnaLee. They were passing through and stopped to talk for a short time. AnnaLee seemed in better spirits and even Mr. Mith was being nice. Believe it or not, he gave me two bottles of gin he told me were made by Anna. I feel I must have done something right to earn a gift from Mr. Mith, even if he did say he only gave them to me because he himself doesn't drink.
  I also had a brief encounter with Addison, looking quite astonishingly pale from a recent death. She told me vines, of all things, had killed her and she was determined to get her revenge on them. I encouraged her to go prune away and we both had a bit of a laugh.
  Further troubling news reached me about the Broken Forest. Evidentally, the grave there had been either excavated, or whatever was buried there dug it's way out and now all manner of heinous things prowl the wood, making it even more unsafe than before. The lives of many unsuspecting travelers became forfiet upon wandering within those dark trees.
  Another interesting and distrubing event was that a Drow appeared in Hlint and attacked Ireth. There were several of us nearby and we drew arms to stop the Drow. Rhynn and Ireth both stopped us though, and the Drow also ceased her attack, but instead took Ireth behind the bank and spoke with her privately. It was most un-nerving. Afterward, Ireth explained the Drow had marked her, possibly for death, and over the loss or transport of some packages of silk of all things. She seemed to belive there may have been more to it, but didn't have many details to share. Though she did ask Rhynn to look something up, a name I think,in the library of the Arcan Alliance. This event happened before I set out to Port Hampshire and the other places I've mentioned.
  I'm now sitting in Hlint near the pond, one of my favorite places to reflect and think. I wish I knew more about the different events that seem to be going on around me. However, it would seem I am rather insignifcant enough to avoid being kept informed. What do the Drow have to do wit~ (here the writing ends with a long scribble, like that which could be the result of a person flinching in surprise while still holding quill to paper.)

[Nehetsrev]

Entry 18
  I should note, where the scribble appears in my previous entry I was startled by the approach of someone new to Hlint. She was an Elven maiden who introduced herself as Shielle Eventide. We talked at length sitting on the bench near the pond and I answered as many of her numerous, and well thought out, questions as I could. Eventually Kyle stumbled upon the two of us sitting there and took up conversation with her as well. When the two began speaking in Elven, well I guess you could say I excused myself mentally from the area, and my mind began to touch on memories I'd prefer to forget. I guess I let the bad memories get the better of me again and I stormed off from the two raging about my hatred for goblins and orcs. Grandpa taught us not to judge people by their race or other outward appearances, but instead to judge by their actions, but I swear I felt like killing even the dragon-called goblins that can occasionally be seen in Hlint.
  Of course, Grandpa's lessons bring up other flaws in my behavior that I've been blatantly denying consideration under the lens of truth. I've realized I have been treating some I've encountered unfairly based on differences of belief that were expressed in perhaps rough manner. As much as I feel loath to confess, one such person I have treated poorly has been the woman Maev, a paladin of Toran. It's her high-and-mighty attitude and comments of being superior to those of us not called to be paladins that I most have trouble with. She has been making some effort, I can tell, to be civil with me. I realize that I should return such civility, even as bothered by our initial exchanges as I have been. Perhaps I might learn that she isn't so bad as those first impressions have painted her to be in my mind, or perhaps I will find my impressions correct. Whatever the case, I cannot find out if I do not give her another chance, and as a fellow Toranite I owe her at least that. I have even considered the possibility that following Toran is not the right path for me.
  In other events, I have died for the thirtieth time these last few days. Slain by a kobold shaman while I was attempting rather foolishly to mine the Sielwood caves alone. My lesson finally learned, I will not venture into those caves again without at least one other to guard my back, at least not until I have become much better with fighting.
  Also, regarding the strange events of the Broken Forest, or rather the Sundered Forest as Ozymandius believes it should now be called, I have learned some new information. It appears that a hero known as Shadow had been entombed there, and that his lover, one of the Seven Sisters is the one who changed the wood from merely somewhat peilous to so dangerous that even Addison cannot survive it's fury long. Ozymandius believes she may attempt to take control of the Silver Vein plant in order to try to find again her lost love, Shadow. If she does so, all of nature will be destroyed, so says Ozymandius. I met with Anna and Talen in the Sielwood Rangers Vale and told them what I had heard, and togehter we returned ot Hlint to see of Freldo might know more about the legend of Shadow. Freldo wasn't really all that much more informative though, and he admitted freely his lack of knowledge after sharing what things he did know of.
  Afterward, Talen and I left out of Hlint to head back to the Sielwood caves to mine some copper. While we didn't find much copper, I did manage to chisel out 10 nuggets of tin before my pick-axe broke. Talen and I have adventured together before, and I always feel safer in his company. We also seem to get along well with each other, though I sometimes wish he'd talk a bit more. A girl shouldn't have to carry on the whole conversation by herself after all. I'm also not sure he likes me quite as much as I like him. Maybe I'll seek out his company more often to see if I can find out. He somewhat reminds me of Erathim, but not in a way that brings pain to me.

[Nehetsrev]

Entry 19 - Mulnari, Oclar 16, 1399

It's a wonder I can even hold my quill steady enough to write in my journal right now.  I'm so nervous still about it all, but I am a bit more calm now that I've had time to deal with it.  I seem to have fallen in love again, but the question I ask myself is with whom?  Talen reminds me so much of Erathim in so many ways that I fear the feelings I have for him, are really only rooted in the feelings I have for the memory of my dear Erathim.  If it's only the memory I love I do not wish to break Talen's heart, so I am hesitant to commit to any of it, though Talen seems ready enough in his own way.  I tried to tell him I want to take things slowly, and I think he understood that.  Part of me still feels the rush of it all though and I don't know whether to be happy, sad, or both.  Talen gave me a beautiful ring set with a blue stone to match my dress.  He also gave me a full bouquet of roses.  But most important to me is the time and understanding he's given.  His patience with my indecision.  His sometimes humorous way of wooing me.  He is such a dear friend, I'm frightened to think of how a failed love might jeopardize that.  Perhaps I also fear losing him as I lost Erathim so long ago.

In a way, I fear this love reaction.  I wonder why our emotions make us as cottonseed blown on by winds of everything.  Love makes us such irrational creatures.  Yet the answers are there somewhere within us, if we are bold enough to ask the questions and seek them out.  Were it not for my dear friend Anna, I think I'd still be lying in a dark room too nervous to go forth and ask even the first of those questions.

The whole of it still takes me by storm.  How is it that one moment we are merely companions, working together toward common goals of propserity, and then the next we're gazing into each other's eyes and speaking forth the deepest feelings of our souls?  How did this come to be in but a moment of change?

I feel I shall begin crying again should I write further, so I will stop for now.

[Nehetsrev]

Entry 20 - Mulnari, Novlar 2, 1399  What words can begin to describe these last days? I am an emotional wreck. Nothing new with that I suppose. Let me start then at the beginning of recent events in my life here in Hlint. The beginning is usually the best place to start most stories anyway.  So, to begin with my days were going well. I got some time to girl-talk with Rhynn, which didn't really clear up my indecisions much, but at least helped me get things off my chest a little more. I probably bored her to death though in the telling, poor lass was obviously having trouble sitting still for it all. She told me some things of her own affairs in the vaguest of manner that I will not write about.  In any event, later I teamed up with Ireth and her new man, Geldar, to do some mining in the Goblin Caves outside Hlint. I was hesitant to bring Oscar along, and said so, but both Geldar and Ireth seemed confident of his safety so I brought him into the caves with us. Alas, I brought him to his death. We had been mining very successfully and were on our way out of the caves. I was myself overburdened some from carrying my share of the ore that Oscar could not, so Oscar and I lagged behind some. It happened so suddenly that the filthy Goblins dropped from above onto Oscar that I didn't even have time to turn before he was as good as dead. In that heart-wrenching moment, time seemed too slow and looking in his eyes I saw the light of life leave them as he colapsed beneath their stabbing blades. He looked to me with pure innocence, and it was as if his eyes pleaded with me, asking simply "Why?" He was but an ox, true, but a friend in his own way as well, dear to me as any other friend. Overburdened as I was, my blade struck down his killers as swiftly as they had struck him down, but it eases not the pain in my heart. Again Goblins have taken away from me someone dear, and with them another piece of my own heart. My vengeance upon them will never be complete until the last Goblin falls and they are purged from this world entirely.  I dragged as much with me as I could to town, ever so slowly, ignoring my own wounds. At last, brought down by Geldar in east Hlint as he worked to dress my wounds, I cried and lamented and screamed with fury for Oscar. Poor Oscar, innocent and faithful to the end. Some wicked little person with nary heart nor understanding came then and taunted, mocking my loss and my feelings, and my friends who sought to comfort me. With some effort I stood and drew my blade, would that I could bring myself to kill that assinine lout, he is fortunate to still have his head. Instead, I heeded the calls of those who care for me, to some degree at least and I turned my fury back to the Goblins rather than commit the act of murder on this one unfit to share the world with those of true and noble souls. If my friends had not been there, my rage was such that my blade would have swung and sundered until there was nought left to hold that souless troll-dung to this plane. My grief again overcame me on my path away, and I fell in the road again. Rhynn, my dearest friend was there to comfort me, as much as I refused in my state to be comforted. But time passed, and I calmed as tears flowed freely in a river to take away with them some of my pain. I still grieve for Oscar, but I am again in control more or less of myself and my feelings.  And then, as night drew close, things changed again, somewhat seeming for the better. Meeting Silool, Rhynn, and several others in the street, we decided to have a party at the Wild Surge. It seemed the thing to take my mind away from recent tragedy, and so I went willingly with. During the evening our conversation was light, and cheerful. Silool brought out her guitar and played some songs while we set around the table. She certainly has style and prowess beyond my own with music, I'll give her that. In point, as the evening drew on, Talen arrived and joined us at my request. He seemed a bit uncomfortable to be with such a group, and kept silent for the most part. I had to show off the ring he gave me in order to fend off the predations of Silool, or so I felt at one point when she seemed to take an interest in him. I like Silool, but I was not about to let her seduce Talen. Not that I think he'd be seduced by her, but why should he have to endure the attempts should they come?  So, as things wound down and each went their seperate ways, I found myself in the pleasurable company of he who loves me. Which brings me to my next and greatest dilema. We went from there to a place in the hills overlooking Haven Keep. There we talked and sat together near a small pond, surrounded by flowers. Windy as it was, it was peaceful and enjoyable. I am glad Talen has shown me the place, and I will most likely return there when I need time to think alone. Later still he decided to show me another secluded spot, this one off the path to Lelion and requiring a short swim to a tiny isle with a campsite. I wish that it had not been raining, but it did, and never seemed to quite stop, though there were some lulls. It didn't really seem to matter though to either of us too much, so long as the fire stayed lit. It was there he told me those three words that make any womans heart dance, "I love you". A fact I have known for some time now, but one which I enjoy hearing from his own lips. But at the same time I am saddened, for my own feelings are not yet entirely clear to me and I could not return the words, though a part of me ached to. At last, in the dim morning light he told me he had to leave for some time, he knew not how long it might be. We parted ways then, and I told him to return to me safely before I turned to walk alone back to Hlint.  I could write for ages and never cover the true depths of my feelings throughout the night with Talen, held in his arms to ward against the cold and wet of the rain. We shared our stories in more depth, our losses respectively and how they came about. We shared the fire, and a tenderness that I know is born of love and caring. I questioned my own feelings, and asked him what he would prefer, that I continue to make him wait until I knew for certain I loved him and not a memory I saw within him of Erathim, or that I say I loved him then and there with the possibility that later I would find it was not he whom I loved but the memory instead. He told me in answer that he would prefer to wait and know truth when it came, and it comforted me to know that my decision was indeed the right one, and the one he also wished for.  

The Greatest War

The greatest war is not fought on battlefields, nor is it fought with armies vast in number.

Instead, the greatest war is between Flesh and Spirit, without Reason.

For Reason flies away when Passion set's it free from the bonds that hold it to the mind.

Flesh and Spirit are left alone to contend over fields of Love, not yet ripe for a full harvest.

I have begun to fight this war, inside me, though other complications bring obstacles to the field of battle.

The first battle was joined as I asked him to hold me in his arms, Reason fled and may not return until the war is finished,

Not until a victor is sure and either Flesh or Spirit defeated and the Harvest full and bountiful, or brought in too soon.

The first battle raged, Passion the general of the Flesh, urging forward it's advance upon the lines drawn on my heart.

That touch, held me so gently, and so differently than one felt previous, though it comforted my soul and gave fire to Passion all the same.

Harken to me all ye who intend to set upon the path of Love, a most noble trek with reward far greater than any other.

This war, the Greatest War, is not easilly won. Flesh and Passion are strong together and Spirit is oft too willing to give in to their advancement.

Do not let Flesh and Passion win until those fields are ripe unto harvest, or Love may very well be consumed by flame of lust and famine in the lands be imminent.

Seek to hold the line for Spirit, until the day when union is Blessed before men and gods alike through sacred ceremony!

Only then allow Flesh and Passion to harvest those fields, and there will be Love left over for a new season of planting and growth to yield again even more bountiful.

So it is written in the foundations of creation.

This first battle, the emotions so sweet that chased away Reason, this battle of being merely held in arms of a gentle man,

This battle has been won, but only narrowly...

I ponder the result. Will my Spirit have strength to resist the next advances of Flesh and Passion?

Or has the line been pushed back enough that I dare receive a single kiss?

Fight on in the war I will, for I seek that great reward in the deepest yearnings of my heart.

Another battle will be fought, I pray only that Spirit remain strong enough to hold the line yet one more battle at a time...

Though truly my heart doth yearn for release to abandon,

To the lofty heights of carefree joy,

I must tie it down, lest the war be lost!

I urge you all, each man and woman, to do the same and fight for the Full Harvest,

Fight for a Love eternal in everlasting seasons of the heart!

Without such Love, there is only pain upon this world.

Without such Love, Passion and Flesh are only satisfied for mere moments.

As glorius as those moments may seem, they lead to pain, yay unto death of the Heart and Soul!

It has been so forever, and forever it will remain the Law of all creation.

--by Treana Min E'Zoenna