Will's Black Book of thoughts...

[Kenderfriend]

http://forums.layonara.com/recent-approvals/266582-willow.html (//Character Sub//)

*this little black book's cover is stained with ink blots and has various scuffs over it's front. Upon opening it looks just like a normal notebook, the blank pages however have a strange but unusually artistic sort of handwriting upon them.*

Willow lies back on her bunk, pulling out the book and she starts to write...


I did it. I got onto the boat, they think I am William. I tried hard to fit in with the other lads, which may sound impossible for someone like me, someone who doesn't fit in anywhere. I enjoyed disguising myself, pretending I was someone else. Somehow they accepted me as part of the crew. For once in my life, I actually felt I might belong...
I was looking forward to being aboard, ships always remind me of home .... I liked being on them. Although mainly, I really need the coin.
It was just going to be a cruise, I'd take some orders, I'd get some of the spoils.
But things are never that easy.

There was a big man, I hated him with a fury. His name was Jericho. When first boarding the ship, I asked a question and he moved my way staring down at me. I stared back up resolute, though I was shaking a little. I always got nervous around people, I was always shy around people, and I hated that. It made me look weak. He punched me soundly in the eye, and I fell to the ground with a thud like it was effortless for him.
I felt my anger raging inside...
Then I felt a hand at my shoulder.. looking to the side I saw no-one was next to me. Then I heard that amused chuckle again.
'My my, what a temper... Keep it in check dear, before they make you walk the plank...' Another manical laugh that slowly echoed away. I was glad it shut up already.

I got to know the rest of the recruits... there was Jimmy, another Tilmarian. I started to trust him a little at first but the way he keeps smiling my way... as if he knows something, knows my secret, that scared me... perhaps I wouldn't get far after all.
Then there was Purple, a dwarf with a ridiculously fancy outfit who ended up being the ship's cook. I don't think he could really harm a fly so I needn't be wary of him I don't feel.
Among the others were Kurn, who knew his stuff when it came to boats, the little mischievous Nonac, A big man with one eye, and the one they call "Naster." The two latter are the ones I trust least of all.

At one point Jimmy was ordered to have dinner with the captain although I did catch the First Mate mentioning there was a chance she'd slit his throat being the way she is. Whether he was joking or not, I kept to the shadows and slowly followed. I had a bad feeling about this Captain, and I intended on finding out the reasons for these things. Perhaps it was just my hopes that the other 'recruits' would 'understand' me and that I actually might make some friends. I was doubtful though, I have to say. Some of them had made me laugh harder than I had in years with their sea shanties... maybe they were misfits too. I'd soon find out ...I was sure.

While debating this in my head, hiding behind something and dropping eaves, I heard the Captain tell him to go and pick a fight with one of us.
My instincts were right, something was up.
I had a plan in my head already... I asked myself why I was helping this man.
I honestly don't know, only that I did.

I tried to whisper to him to fight me on the way up as I caught up. He looked surprised and I could tell he was about to argue but I explained I could act it out, let him win. That way he'd be completing the order without ending up a bloody corpse on the floor. That would certainly ruin my plans to have some allies for once instead of trying to do everything alone...
It was actually working pretty well. One of us would swing a punch and stop before it him them, then we'd pretend to react to the pain. I laughed a little and was enjoying the fighting and the competition so much I almost forgot I was supposed to be letting him win.. but the crew fell for our act the whole time and I pretended to be knocked out after some pummeling.

I lay still and held my breath as the wind blew lightly. Then I heard some stomping... it got louder. And louder.
Suddenly I was lifted off the ground like a feather and slung over a shoulder.
"Time to take out the trash." Jericho grunted. I opened one eye a crack. The last time he'd said that... he'd tossed one of the crew overboard...
What an idiot I was!
Maybe I really would have been better off alone, maybe I would have been stronger.
Anger is what makes you strong... I should have known that.
I panicked as death loomed before me.
Some of the other crew were talking, I couldn't make out what they were saying. I struggled but couldn't get free.
He started to move closer to the ships edge.
Was my life really over at nineteen?
Apparently not as I was tossed and my back slammed against the sides of the ship. I struggled to my feet, and he told me to jump. I drew my sword. He laughed in my face.

I wasn't going to go down without a fight!
With the rain beating down I gripped my blade and growled, and I noticed some of the others coming over, Nonac was hiding a trap near me.
Jericho stormed over and I managed to get in a blow, but he was too strong and I got beaten to the ground.
I never thought the others would help me.
But they did, they saved me.  
As I lay on the ground ... I thought... maybe they do care. Maybe I was wrong. Friends do make you stronger. I helped someone, and they helped me back. Is this what having a friend is like? I can't remember. I never thought the world was a very fair place. Maybe I was wrong...

Maybe I was wrong...



The book snaps shut.

Looking over at the others in their bunks, her hard features soften a little and she turns over pulling up the covers.

A small cackle 'Wiiillloooow...'

"Go away." I grumble.

'Now now, is that any way to treat me, how inconsiderate. And I have to say it looks like you're getting soft...!' The Voice scoffs.

Silence.

'Willow! You can't just blank me like this!'

"Watch me." I pull the covers over my head to sleep, a smile spreading on my face.

[Kenderfriend]

Notes to Self.

*a few bits of scrumpled parchment, shoved into the book with ink blots over the sides.*

[LIST=1]

• That Mygraine does my head in. I refuse to have a battle of wits with someone unarmed. It's just not worth the bother.
• Annwyl I like, though be wary, she will side with Ygraine in situations. Luckily I'm fast on my feet.
• You can never have too many knives! Keep some slipped in hidden places. Boots are good.
• Jimmy is actually an Andrew. Call Jimmy on-ship, Andrew off-ship. Don't get mixed up. Oh, and hide this book, now that I've reminded myself.
• Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
• Carry on filling out that map I started. Blackford Castle is NOT North-South of Fort Llast. Never ask directions from someone who's had more than a few ales.
• I said I'd visit the three at their house in Leringard sometime. Maybe I'd had more than a few ales too...

[Kenderfriend]

Willow walked along the treeline, kicking the same pebble she had for most of the journey so far from Hlint.
Suddenly it felt like a trickling of sand in her head as that presence rose up into thoughts once more.

'I'm bored...' The Voice moaned. 'Why can't you go do something interesting?'

"Hey... I'm in charge here. You go where I go, and there's nothing you can do about it."

'Why do you always have to do that Willow? Treat me like some sort of foul disease.' He said sulkily

"Because you're in my bleeding head! What do you expect!"

'You never even asked me my name.'

"What would that achieve?"

'Well, for one thing, I rather abhor being called HeyYou, Idiot ... the list goes on you know. It's disgraceful.'

"You left out all the best ones. Those are general for when I can't be arsed thinking of something original." I said snickering, almost disappointed.

'That's not the point!' He snapped 'I'd much prefer you called me by my NAME. My real name. Not something like.. *he coughs as she says it* Fancy-Nancy-Pants the Third.'

"At least when I call you stupid no-one looks twice. They think I'm talking about them, pretty handy cover-up if you ask me."

He sighed. 'My name i-'

"Oh gods.."

'For heaven's sake! Can you ever stop to listen to me for two seconds..!'

A massive render loomed above her.

'Ah!' I heard him yelp nervously in an un-manly sort of pitch.

I dived through the brush and foliage to safety and not a moment later heard a voice.

No, not that one.

"Hello Will. Soooo good to see you." said Ygraine.

Good for you. I'm not. I thought.

Well Naster was there at least, and some man named Argos, Toranite judging by the colours. That or he just likes fancy outfits. Didn't stay long though.
Ygraine started talking about a hospital or something.

"What is this 'Hospital'?" Naster inquired.
"A place where the ill and wounded are treated. You do not know of such?"
"Oh, the one in Krandor I think she means... Andrew told me about it." I butted in.
Ygraine glared my way, not that I was too bothered.
" That would be why I said 'Krandor Hospital'."
"Apologies, my state of being is not listening to you." I said with a bored expression.

 'Well I know how that feels' The Voice said pointedly.
Oh stop whinging you big baby.

"Girls... girls...Calm down we're all friends here." Argos stepped in.

Hah, friends! He's in for a shock alright!

"Oh I'm calm, you'll know when I'm angry!

So... what brings you lot to a place like this?" I turned to the others.

"We're picking berries" Naster stated simply.

I arced a brow staring his way, but as with all people, not quite meeting their gaze as I stare off somewhere else.
I tried really hard not to laugh, do they really think I'm that stupid?

[Kenderfriend]

Willow hung her head, the sea breeze blowing hair across her face. She was tied to the mast of the Jackzonvilet. Her fists clenched. Her eyes stung from the salty water spraying from the sides, sweat beaded on her forehead, her throat felt like someone was grinding sandpaper against it and it felt like everything ached. She felt sick and just wanted to sleep and give up, but she doesn't just give up. She stared out at the crew resolutely.

'Didn't I tell you... you can't trust anyone.'

Yes, they lie, they hurt... I know, I know.

'...More so if you trusted them. Look at them, milling around, like they're better than you.'

Willow's eyes narrowed angrily.
The fury was riling up inside. She wanted to scream and rip the Captain apart. The feelings were so intense she started to rip at the ropes with her teeth.
You're right... She doesn't even know me.. but she looked at me in disgust! LIKE I WAS DIRT ON THE DECK OF HER SHIP!
She stops as Kurn glances over, though her eyes still glazed with bloodlust... slowly they calmed, returned to normal.

I have to consider... maybe they're double-bluffing... are they really on my side...? No! Push that thought away. They probably wouldn't even notice if I was gone.
You're on your own Will. Have to think of a way.
I can't lose. You have to put the jigsaw together, and figure this out.

Will kept her face straight the whole time, jaw clenched, trying not to show weakness however threatened she felt.

The Voice laughs. 'Always the detective aren't you? Can't leave anything be until you know why something is... It gives you an edge in some respects I must say.'

At that point Andrew walked over, rapier in hand. Nonac was close by fiddling with traps, Rocky bustled by with a concerned expression. Time seemed to move as slow as ever but she still had no inkling of what to do next. She couldn't do anything tied up like this.
Suddenly she felt the bonds round her hands loosen.
The purple one had cut them... why?
She whipped her blade out its sheath, but quickly hid it behind her back, making it look like she was still bound.

How ironic. They keep me tied up like a dangerous animal, but now they need me, they ask for my help. A strange turn to things, but... this might just be what I need to get some freedom of choice back.
I'll stay on board if I want, I'll get off when I want.
No-one tells me what to do.

She followed suit as they headed below, there were sounds of shouting and jeering. A mutiny. I watched the scenes unseen, I wasn't really on anyone's side. Never am.
Seems the rest of the crew didn't really seem to like the Captain either.
Kurn challenged the Captain to fight. I'm not really sure who was on my side, if anyone... I just stayed in the doorway.
The thoughts went through her head as she tried to remember each...
Nonac had tried to help me, with traps... Kurn had tied me up, but now he was shouting at the Captain, trying to explain to the others how she'd ordered me to be punished... Andrew had tried to argue against tieing me up, but now he was on the Captain's side...?
Maybe I can't trust anyone.
Think, think! There isn't much time.
*she hit her head with her hands*
Soon there'll be a fight, then you won't be able to find out a jot, there'll just be a room littered with corpses...
Suddenly she stepped between everyone.
"Everyone just shut up!"
A deal was made. The captain wanted the original crew dead, so that's what she got. I wanted to be accepted with the crew I was with, so there was a promise that none of us would be hurt.
Some frowned and walked out, especially Andrew. What's up with him? He wanted to feel Kurn's blade??

And that's the thanks I get. I just saved more than a few lives there. People... I just don't understand them sometimes

'I hate to say I told you so...' The voice mused, echoing a laugh.