Personal Accountability and Internet Gaming

[IdiotNoob]

I wrote an apology letter to the boss here a short while ago, but I think that a few points of good sense I've picked up along the way might save a few people the same trouble I've found in this relatively new medium of socialization and fun.  Maybe there's something to take from it, maybe you're already a good ways ahead of me on figuring this out.  I don't know, but regardless, it's some things I think most people playing online games should think about.

Having traveled the full spectrum of being a nuisance player on Layonara to pulling my hair out running my own server filled with nuisances just like me to finally sitting back to being ashamed with the whole state of internet gaming, and general social behavoir online... I'm kind of down on how we treat each other.  It's amazing how little personal accountability we demonstrate.  In the land where you don't have to deal with someone face to face it has become acceptable behavoir to burn any bridge you please and act in a fashion that would get you knocked out were you in the same room as them.  It's juvenile, cowardly, and a fairly depressing tone for the future of personal interaction online.  It's as though we're inclined to modify our values that we'd normally act upon with a person you deal with face to face and compromise our integrity because we've somehow found it acceptable to do so when the person is anonymous and a veritable million miles away.  I personally, am embarrased at some of the things I've said to people online.  In particular Leanthar and co.  And seeing some of the things people do online... I'm astonished at how far from normal interaction this all has become.

The reason is simple.. there's no repercussion for your actions.  And it really begins to illustrate the character of these people as they take advantage of this and simply act as though nobody else online matters... that they simply exist for your enjoyment.

So anyhow.. a few things for people to think about:

- How you behave online actually says a lot about what kind of person you are.  If you don't think so, and you think it's totally separate from real life, then you should give it some more thought.  There's a person on the other end of that line that you should be dealing with as though you're in the same room.  Doing anything else really says a lot about how cowardly and petty you are as you take advantage of any opportunity to not be accountable for your actions as they bear repercussions for those around you.

- Staff, DM's, Devs... all people like you.  They've just alotted a lot of time into production.  And while no dev can abuse you because of all the 'work' they put into this... it certainly demands respect.  The best way to think about it (again in my opinion only which may not be right) is to think in terms of how much money you make at your job.  If you're young or don't have a job, think of your parent's and how much they make in their job.  Now open up the NWN toolset and make a house interior that's 8x8.  It's very easy.  Press toolset when you prompt NWN and go from there.  Decorate that house like it were your own and you were going to be able to have it as your house in game... so treat it like it counts.  Make a custom creature and then give it a dialogue in conversation.  It's not rocket science.  Now after you're done look at your watch and think about that hourly salary I told you to think about.  Salaries are all relative and we're all equal when it comes to time.  It has the same stealing effect on all of us.  Now think about the entire world of Layonara and picture making about 1500 of those that you just did with the same amount of detail and effort.  Then add in scripts etc, and more importantly the time changing things because of bugs, changes, or player requests/ comments.  It adds up to a lot of time.  A whole lot.  And while people tend to not value another person's time as much as their own.. I ask you to think of those hours in terms of your own salary at work because that's the only tangible way for most to equate it.  Yeah.  Lotta money.  So respect that person's efforts.  It never ends and they're continually taking their time to make a good game for you.  It's actually pretty profound to look back at my utter lack of respect for it.  

- It's incredibly simple.  Act like you're on the same team.  To the lead developer of the mod - all he or she is looking for is team players.  And more and more everyday is what's going to make them happy.  There is no 'us and them' to the dev.  There's just the vision of having a big happy family where everyone plays like they're on the same team.  There's no super secret decoder ring that you're given when you become a DM or Dev for the mod.  Or that 'high level' player.  It's just the time that's passed that lets them know they're on the same team.  If you just come in and treat the people around you like they're on your team and you're working towards the same goal - you're gold.  It's incredibly simple.  The only 'us and them' that ever exists is what happens when YOU initiate it from your own insecurities.  Then people wonder what's wrong with you.  It's true.  It's incredibly simple.

- Don't presume anything about the people playing next to you.  There are a lot of habits towards treating this game like a dirty little aspect of your life.  I don't know - probably because our mother's scolded us on how video games were rotting our brains when we were playing atari, sega, nintendo, etc growing up.  So the notion many people have is that since we were raised to think video games represents something substandard that the people playing online games are substandard too.  But it's alright that you're playing because you keep it separate from your life.  Well hold on a second on that one.  Wake up to the fact that you're playing video games like everyone else.  And realize that there's no other correct notion then respect of an equal to these people around you.  You can not presume anything else.  Start treating them with the respect that you would ask for yourself because there's a pretty good chance they're as 'cool' a person as you are that demands just as much respect.  Acting any other way of acting just illustrates that you either don't have the brain capacity to realize, or willingness to admit, that you're in this the same as everyone else.  Respect others because they are people very much so like you.

- Deal with things like a man (and for the women here I mean it in the John Wayne/ honorable sense).  There's a studly way to deal with your problems and/or complaints, and there are many very measly weak ways.  Getting angry and going to the forum to spam angry nonsense is akin to an upset three year old girl leaving a toystore without the toy she wants.  She kicks, screams, and pouts.. and hardly ever looks the problem source straight in the eye and talks it out like an adult.  It's simple - if you have a problem in real life what do you do?  What is the most honorable way of dealing with it?  You walk up to the person that is the source and you talk to them face to face without bringing others into it.  Online this means sending a mature PM to the person.  We all sense a crybaby when they start shouting.  Even I look at some of my old posts here and slap my hand to my forehead.  "My wife would be embarassed I'm her husband".  Be cool, be honorable... don't be a little girl.  It goes nowhere.

- And the last thing.  This is a simple one that's been said again and again.  But let me give it from another point of view maybe some don't have.  On Layonara I leveled as fast as I could.  I wanted to see everything as fast as possible - mostly out of excitement for the module and what I was seeing.  More more more.  It's the standard self-indulgent behavoir we're seeing a lot more of in the world.  Now later on... I've developed a world, let's say for figures I made all the monsters and 90% of the areas.  So I'm now online and excited to play... but I've already seen it all.  I know everything from the areas to where the thistle plant grows to the purple encounter triggers on every map.  Well what the hell do I do now?  Once you figure out that question you're guaranteed a good time on any server you're on.  Because nothing will matter anymore except your roleplay - because it's all you have in the end.

I guess in all of this I'm really just saying that we should all show a little personal accountability in our actions online.  It's a thing that seems to be vanishing from real life, which is pretty sad.  More and more people aren't able to admit that they're accountable for the decisions they make, and they look elsewhere to place the problem or blame.  Online it seems like it barely exists.  People don't hold themselves accountable for anything at all... because there is no aspect of the 'person' in personal.  If we were all in the same room forced to look each other in the eye one would immediately think 'wow this is going to be a pretty big fistfight'.  Because the things we say to each other and the way we act are simply not acceptable social standards.  But I don't think there'd be a fistfight really.  I think you'd have the people who act with values and integrity in everything they do standing aloof from the people who act with no shred of respect for their own actions online... and those ones would be standing there unable to look the others in the eye.  I urge everyone to act as though they're in the same room and their actions matter.  I actually think this sort of thing is starting to matter more and more in the world.  Show personal accountability in what you do and deal with people in an honorable and studly fashion.  They do exist, and what you're saying does influence their lives.

[Tedulas]

Not to offend you in any way mate...but - Layonara online is a VERY mature online game...unlike normal online NWN when I asked if someone was hacking and he told me to "Pi*S off you f*g" which I found really offensive!
I see what your saying here, it's really dependant on maturity - I treat everyone with respect(Unless my character Leolaka hates some people online
You can't change a persons maturity, they have to do it themselves.
But interesting thread.

[Dark Jester]

Very nice post. Well said.

Tedulas - 10/24/2005  1:07 AM

Not to offend you in any way mate...but - Layonara online is a VERY mature online game...

While it may not apply to a lot here, it still holds true for the internet in general. I've played a lot of online games in the last 15 years, and the general quality of the people I see online has degraded to the point of being just plain unbelievable.

15 years ago, when all we had were Text MUD's, there was a general sense of honor and respect between players. Sure there were a few bad eggs even back then, but they were not the norm, and could be avoided without too much trouble.

These days, so many immature people think that things like Griefing and Hacking are 'cool' that they have no concept or care about how their actions affect others. As was said above, most people wouldnt dream of doing some of the things they do if the other people were sitting in the same room. It's the complete lack of accountability and annonimity on the Internet that has given people like that the 'courage' to act however they want.

Layonara is a bit more controlled though. The simple fact that there is an application process drives many of this type of person away. Add to that the care and time that the DM staff puts in to make sure that everyone is enjoying themselves, and the 'Griefer' types simply can't survive here. I wish the rest of the Online games out there could have a Team as dedicated as the one we have here. It would certianly make the Internet a more enjoyable place for those of us who do hold ourselves to a higher standard.

Again, Well said, and I hope everyone reads and tries to understand this post.

-Jester

[Shadowblade225]

Tedulas - 10/24/2005  4:07 AMNot to offend you in any way mate...but - Layonara online is a VERY mature online game...unlike normal online NWN when I asked if someone was hacking and he told me to "Pi*S off you f*g" which I found really offensive!I see what your saying here, it's really dependant on maturity - I treat everyone with respect(Unless my character Leolaka hates some people online )You can't change a persons maturity, they have to do it themselves.But interesting thread.

The maturity of Layonara is known, but one of the subpoints of the post (not the main lest I'm mistaken noob) was that no matter the maturity of the game, the fact that you have such a diverse playerbase, the team here will always have to deal with that one fellow.  We all would like to think we're mature and nice, and most are.  Those that show the lack of respect tend to be weeded out in the long run.  Creating a world such as Leanthar has done is a monumentous task, and the time he himself and his team have spent supervising, modifying, fixing, etc... the world/work involved may often times be taken for granted.  Most of the player base here, I feel understands and respects that.  But the point is noted, much of what the DM team may have to deal with, is seldom seen by the player base, and despite that fact that you are online and may never meet another layonara player or GM in RL, it gives you no right to act disrespectful.   We all (I would hope) know this, but some don't, and despite your thoughts on the maturity of the player base here, it happens, it will always happen.  For the few out there who have a lot of disagreements with how things are implented and have little toolset experience, try creating a module with few hundred areas, scripts, placeables, etc... and start your own server.  It's something I could never do.

[miltonyorkcastle]

And it's that "Higher Standard" that keeps and will keep Layonara at the top of the NWN persistant worlds that are still out there.

[IdiotNoob]

Yep - for any that misunderstood - that was an apology plus lessons learned.  Specifically an apology to Leanthar, Pankoki, Nita, Orth, Ozy, and the community in general for that matter.  It's embarassing to realize you're a crybaby - but there's really only one good direction to go once you make the concession.  Fess up so you can look the person in the eye again.

[Stephen_Zuckerman]

IdiotNoob - 10/24/2005  2:35 PM

Yep - for any that misunderstood - that was an apology plus lessons learned.  Specifically an apology to Leanthar, Pankoki, Nita, Ozy, and the community in general for that matter.  It's embarassing to realize you're a crybaby - but there's really only one good direction to go once you make the concession.  Fess up so you can look the person in the eye again.

Hear, hear. We've all had to learn that lesson, some of us as children, some of us as teens, and some of us even later into our lives. Still, it's always something to be proud of when you do start to take accountability for your actions, no matter how much those actions you're beginning to be accountable for are things not to be proud of at all. *He smiles.* Welcome back to Layonara, eh?

[Talan Va'lash]

IdiotNoob - 10/24/2005  1:37 AM
- How you behave online actually says a lot about what kind of person you are.  If you don't think so, and you think it's totally separate from real life, then you should give it some more thought.  There's a person on the other end of that line that you should be dealing with as though you're in the same room.  Doing anything else really says a lot about how cowardly and petty you are as you take advantage of any opportunity to not be accountable for your actions as they bear repercussions for those around you.

Don't really have anything to add to this... it just summed up something that had been on my mind lately.

-TV