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Author Topic: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession  (Read 810 times)

bmkbobcat

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    Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
    « Reply #20 on: May 03, 2007, 03:13:50 pm »
    //wakes up from a nap
      grabs a bowl of cereal
      sits down to read the daily forums
      chortles and promptly spews a mouthful of milk all over her monitor
     

    Hotaru

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      Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
      « Reply #21 on: May 03, 2007, 03:19:13 pm »
      // i knew chickens where evil! with their little eyes and their constant clucking... those aren't eggs those are grenades of unfathomable evil! :o   ....sorry... i had a bit of sugar this morning....
       

      Honora

      Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
      « Reply #22 on: May 03, 2007, 04:00:09 pm »
      Beware. Old McDonald is probably breeding a newer, sturdier chicken that can lure you in with the promise of eggs and peck you into a fly-blown corpse in under 2 minutes as we type.  The Mark II Bessie with sharpened hooves and acid-spewing udders is already a prototype, I'd bet.

      Revenge will be his, oh yes.  EE-EI-EE-EI-DOOM!
       

      Force_of_Will_

      Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
      « Reply #23 on: May 04, 2007, 04:20:54 am »
      Cows With Guns
                              by Dana Lyons
                           by Dana Lyons, copyright 1996
                              
                              Intro
                                                                                   ------
                                                                                   Am G Am
                              
                              AmFat and docile, big and dumb
                                                                                   They look so stupid, they aren't much fun
                              GCows aren't Amfun
                              
                              
                                                                                   They eat to grow, grow to die
                                                                                   Die to be et at the hamburger fry
                                                                                   Cows well done
                              
                                                                                   Nobody thunk it, nobody knew
                                                                                   No one imagined the great cow guru
                                                                                   Cows are one
                              
                                                                                   He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal
                                                                                   He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal
                                                                                   Cow Tse Tongue
                              
                                                                                   He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred
                                                                                   He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd
                                                                                   Cow doldrums
                              
                                                                                   He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die
                                                                                   Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high
                                                                                   Bad cow pun
                              
                                                                                   But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate
                                                                                   Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate
                                                                                   Cows are bummed
                              
                                                                                   He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy
                                                                                   No one suspected he was packing an Uzi
                                                                                   Cows with guns
                              
                                                                                   They came with a needle to stick in his thigh
                                                                                   He kicked for the groin, he ed in their eye
                                                                                   Cow well hung
                              
                                                                                   Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door
                                                                                   Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor
                                                                                   Run cows run!
                              
                                                                                   He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay
                                                                                   We are free roving bovines, we run free today
                              
                              We will Ffight for bovine Cfreedom
                              And Ehold our large heads Amhigh
                              We will Frun free with the CBuffalo, or Edie
                                                                                   Cows with [Am]guns
                              
                                                                                   They crashed the gate in a great stampede
                                                                                   Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed
                                                                                   Cows have fun
                              
                                                                                   Sixty police cars were piled in a heap
                                                                                   Covered in cow pies, covered up deep
                                                                                   Much cow dung
                              
                                                                                   Black smoke rising, darkening the day
                                                                                   Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way
                              
                                                                                   We will fight for bovine freedom
                                                                                   And hold our large heads high
                                                                                   We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
                                                                                   Cows with guns
                              
                                                                                   The President said "enough is enough
                              
                                                                                   These uppity cattle, its time to get tough"
                                                                                   Cow dung flung
                              
                                                                                   The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief
                                                                                   Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef
                                                                                   Cows on buns
                              
                                                                                   The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed
                                                                                   They mooed their last moos,
                                                                                   they chewed their last hay
                                                                                   Cows out gunned
                              
                                                                                   The order was given to turn cows to whoppers
                                                                                   Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers
                                                                                   But on the horizon surrounding the shoppers
                              
                                                                                   Came the deafening roar of chickens in choppers
                              
                                                                                   We will fight for bovine freedom
                                                                                   And hold our large heads high
                                                                                   We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
                                                                                   Cows with guns
       

      pinkpowerbait

      Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
      « Reply #24 on: May 05, 2007, 11:01:45 am »
      //cora had the same problem with the chickens in fort wayfare.. nothing more humiliating than bleeding to death at the hands, er , beaks of some chickens. :)
       

      hawklen

      Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
      « Reply #25 on: May 05, 2007, 07:47:43 pm »
      http://www.layonara.com/photopost/showphoto.php?photo=107490

      Chickens are evil! Its why Nepp permed *he nods sagely*
       

       

      anything