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Author Topic: Partying: a personal request  (Read 214 times)

ycleption

Partying: a personal request
« on: April 04, 2007, 06:31:38 pm »
I'm sure I'm not the only one who has experienced this:

You invite someone, or someone invites you into a party. Someone else wanders by, initiates conversation, inquires as to your purpose, and joins the party. You are about to set off to smack things. Suddenly, and without warning, another face appears on your sidebar... you mouse over their portrait, and see that they're on another continent . . . Strange. . . . And then, another person is added and another.  More people join (none of whom are actually present) until the entire population of Layonara is in a single party!  All of a sudden, everyone has a reason to wait before setting out, "One minute, it is vital that I stare at my navel before heading into battle." Lo and behold, all those little faces in the party bar just happen to wander by, having the urge to kill the same things at the same time at the same place.Funny how that works.

Seriously though, there is a big difference between:

Me: This is a strong foe we aim to battle. Perhaps I should send a bird to Lady Pwnsalot, to see if she would be interested in joining us.
Other Person: Indeed, her sword would be welcome!
Me: *summons a falcon and writes on some parchment*
[Tell] Falcon message: Myself and a few others aim to slay the fearsome rats in the sewers, but we cannot do it alone, would you care to join us?
[Tell from Lady Pwnsalot]: Verily! I would never turn down such an opportunity, I shall be there forthwith!
*invite Lady Pwnsalot*
Me: *Receives a not from a bird, reads it and nods sagely* She will be here to aid us as fast as her legs can carry her.


And:

[Tell]:Hey, wanna come kill some stuff with us?
[Tell from Lady Pwnsalot]: Sure, I'm in Allindor, just wait there for me, ok?
[Tell] n/p
*invite Lady Pwnsalot*


There are plenty of legitimate reasons why one might invite someone who isn't there at the moment, but please have the grace to ask the rest of the party members, and at least make an attempt to have some RP justification. Too often, this kind of thing just spirals out of control (although my initial description may be a tad exaggerated ;)). I know I'm not the only one who prefers small parties, so please try to remember when everyone wants their friend to come along, it can ruin things for many of us. If you want to have large parties that can run roughshod over anything, there are plenty of people who enjoy that too, but to make every gathering like that is disrespectful to the rest of us, in my opinion. It really doesn't take much imagination to invite people in an RP appropriate way that allows the group to have their input. Maybe character A will refuse to travel if character B  goes along. Maybe Character A is shy and doesn't want to fight with people he doesn't know. And maybe some of us just have OOC preferences, and feel left out when people are invited without some IC dialogue. A little bit of communication and courtesy go a long way.  Thanks.

*I hope this doesn't sound too whiny and ranty, as the title says this is just a personal request, based on my own play style, and I realize not everyone is going to agree with me here*

Stephen_Zuckerman

Re: Partying: a personal request
« Reply #1 on: April 04, 2007, 06:46:10 pm »
I agree with this... Lots.

But if someone walked by with the tag "Lady Pwnsalot" I would want her to have my children.
 

Interia_Discordius

Re: Partying: a personal request
« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2007, 07:00:35 pm »
Me too...The occasional giant war party is fun, but the bigger the party, the less roleplay I personally see. Everyone is moving so fast, it's near impossible to shoot a comment in and a lot of people know how much Kinai chatters between battles usually (I'm decent enough at typing, in other words). That and, I really hate huge parties of people I don't know... I always think it's common courtesy to just flat out ask. So yes, amen to your post!

And please...Don't make people wait 30 mins while you switch over to Central because you can't figure out a way to say bye. I hate that...
"Coming?"
"Yes, give me a moment."
Server switch...
30 minutes later...
Switch back...
"Are you coming?"
"Oh, forgot. Oops."

But that's a whole 'nother subject.
 

Mooneyes

Re: Partying: a personal request
« Reply #3 on: April 05, 2007, 01:57:10 pm »
Really well said Ycleption!  I agree with you wholeheartedly.
 

jan

Re: Partying: a personal request
« Reply #4 on: April 05, 2007, 03:14:45 pm »
make sure your the partyleader, that way you can simply kick the ones coming in the party unanounced *shrughs*

And before some one goes complaining..my first idea was to lead them into a dangerous situation and let them die ...*grins evily*
 

MJZ

Re: Partying: a personal request
« Reply #5 on: April 05, 2007, 03:26:50 pm »
Hehe, I love you skit, there.

Very true, all of it. I would also add that you ask the party leader before inviting additional people yourself - the little crown icon is there for a reason other than making one feel special, you know! You may be invited to a group, but that doesn't mean all of your friends are, too. It's just bad form, and it only takes a moment to ask, IC. I hate having a party overrun by someone else without a word being shared. :p
 

Chongo

Re: Partying: a personal request
« Reply #6 on: April 06, 2007, 01:20:14 am »
I'd like to add on to this a bit based on a lot of personal experiences with it recently.

I am very rarely going to turn someone away when they want a group.  I just don't like doing it and while my computer can barely handle more then 6 people in a group, I just don't like turning someone down when they're looking to party.  It's like drinking at too good a pub, and I just can't turn down a drink even if its going to make me sick.

That said, it's really up to each of us to be cool about this, and recognize when you're causing supersaturation.

I've been noticing a lot of folks who use the easy avenue into group leaders like me, who don't like turning folks away.  And they ask, I say yes, but then 4 other people come with them.  That's when my face just cringes as I realize what's about to happen.

This is all fun and games, it's all laid back and casual until your forcing max capacity causes a situation where people highly vested in their characters end up getting a DT, or maybe even perm'ing because you bandwagoned in with a lot of people.  Especially when there's a good wide spread on levels and you're the one coming in with a lot of low leves.

And hey, again folks, I'm all for fun.  But when you start off in the group like that, then do silly things like let's say for example... repeatedly chuckle at the effects of potions in wild magic until you've effectively blinded the entire group in your penguin tests (which unbeknownst to you is one of those random results of pushing wild magic too far - mass and permanent blindness similar to the darkness bug), or wander into spawn terrain... I mean a lot of people end up dying.  And I don't mean to pick on the group tonight too much.  But I'm seeing the same thing with increased frequency, and someone tonight, who was safe and GS'd, had to come out and save you, and then ultimately pick up a DT for it.

I don't want folks to think they aren't welcome in my group.  I'm always for a good party and I won't turn down another drink.

But some easy thigns to look at when you ask to join and end up in the group:

- What's the level spread and do you fit?
- If you don't fit on the level spread... are you finding yourself in these higher groups a lot?  Should you think about the connotations of doing this too often?
- How many people are in group, and if it's over 8 do you think the mayhem you're adding to will get people killed?
- What's the reason for you joining.  If you're across the continent and aren't going to RP once you're in there... to quote the blue collar comedy tour: "There's your sign".

Again, I don't mean to pick on any folks in particular.  This is fairly generic based on some of what I've been seeing lately.  I know I'm not innocent on these fronts at times as well.  But they are some easy things to think about.
 

LynnJuniper

Re: Partying: a personal request
« Reply #7 on: April 06, 2007, 01:33:45 am »
"Use Common Sense -- If It doesn't feel right then it usually isn't"
 

hawklen

Re: Partying: a personal request
« Reply #8 on: April 06, 2007, 02:07:13 am »
I've been in a party, just 4 of us, some how ended up with 12 people. I dont know how it happened.. I wasnt the party leader.
 

Interia_Discordius

Re: Partying: a personal request
« Reply #9 on: April 06, 2007, 02:10:59 am »
Yet at the same time, I think a lot of us are guilty of this... I know I am. I've gotten to checking and making sure though :)
 

ycleption

Re: Partying: a personal request
« Reply #10 on: January 18, 2008, 06:53:04 pm »
Bumping this because, I like the um, sight of my own text (hm, doesn't quite have the same ring), and because I think this is a problem... please people, be considerate, don't assume it's alright to invite all your friends when you are part of a party.
Thank you.
 

Tanman

Re: Partying: a personal request
« Reply #11 on: January 18, 2008, 06:57:56 pm »
I am glad that you brought this up again. Roleplaying into a party is far better than doing it in tells.
 

Lynn1020

Re: Partying: a personal request
« Reply #12 on: January 18, 2008, 07:24:10 pm »
I guess I am guilty of this.  But I always ask the party leader or the one that started the party first.  I personally don't mind inviting someone that is across the continent.  It lets them see where we are and can "bump" into the rest of the party. It saves me or others from having to send a bunch of tells trying to explain where we are every few minutes.  Because that takes my attention off of what I am doing in the battle or rp.  I always enjoy logging in and getting invited to a group. ;)  

I can see that a large party is not always a good thing.  I have been in parties before that where to large for me to enjoy so I would leave.  Nothing against the party just wasn't fun for me.
 

LordCove

Re: Partying: a personal request
« Reply #13 on: January 18, 2008, 08:58:28 pm »
I tend to do this on occassion... but for the below reasons.

Mainly for sending tells if Im talking to someone... easier to click the portrait and type the Tell than keep scrolling through the Player List or Conversation box.
And what Lynn said above... helps you see where people are... so you can "accidentally" bump into them. ( NOT for use if the people are on Impromptu's or GM quests of course )

Used to happen a lot.. I recall once on a Rift Run... it all got kinda panicky dodging Drows.... some of the party were hurt. I then realised my guy is stood there... getting hit and not doing anything... because Id tried to throw a potion at an injured party member... who happened to be on the other side of the island.

If you find your off on a bash.... and its getting hectic keeping an eye on who's dying and who's not throughout the list of Players.... a polite Party: // Can anyone not in the Rift/ drinking in the Inn/ Stealing Storold's Golem.... please drop party.
 

Filatus

Re: Partying: a personal request
« Reply #14 on: January 18, 2008, 09:16:22 pm »
Quote from: LordCove
I tend to do this on occassion... but for the below reasons.

Mainly for sending tells if Im talking to someone... easier to click the portrait and type the Tell than keep scrolling through the Player List or Conversation box.
And what Lynn said above... helps you see where people are... so you can "accidentally" bump into them. ( NOT for use if the people are on Impromptu's or GM quests of course )

Used to happen a lot.. I recall once on a Rift Run... it all got kinda panicky dodging Drows.... some of the party were hurt. I then realised my guy is stood there... getting hit and not doing anything... because Id tried to throw a potion at an injured party member... who happened to be on the other side of the island.

If you find your off on a bash.... and its getting hectic keeping an eye on who's dying and who's not throughout the list of Players.... a polite Party: // Can anyone not in the Rift/ drinking in the Inn/ Stealing Storold's Golem.... please drop party.


I don't think you should invite people at all if they are not joining. It's actually quite rude to other players.

An example why I don't like to see sudden invites of people who aren't even where your group is and not even coming your way.

Personally, I like to speak in party mode. When I see some player who is on a different part of the continent, suddenly join the group without me knowing why, it also affects what my character says. Often enough I'll switch to talkmode, because those people aren't there and have no business hearing it. So it does actually affects other people's gaming experience.

It's fine for the accidental bump, because those people will join up soon enough. It is never alright in my opinion to invite someone in party who doesn't even  have the intention to come your way. It affects other people's rp.
 

Gulnyr

Re: Partying: a personal request
« Reply #15 on: January 18, 2008, 09:18:34 pm »
Quote from: Lynn1020
I personally don't mind inviting someone that is across the continent.  It lets them see where we are and can "bump" into the rest of the party. It saves me or others from having to send a bunch of tells trying to explain where we are every few minutes.  Because that takes my attention off of what I am doing in the battle or rp.

I don't think anyone is suggesting this is a bad thing, so long as there was some sort of agreement between the players/characters already in the party that Carrie Continentcrosser was going to join.  In other words, 'across the continent' isn't the point, your second paragraph is the point:
Quote
I can see that a large party is not always a good thing.  I have been in parties before that where to large for me to enjoy so I would leave.  Nothing against the party just wasn't fun for me.


Way back in the first post of the thread, ycleption said it well:
Quote
There are plenty of legitimate reasons why one might invite someone who isn't there at the moment, but please have the grace to ask the rest of the party members, and at least make an attempt to have some RP justification... I know I'm not the only one who prefers small parties, so please try to remember when everyone wants their friend to come along, it can ruin things for many of us.

Sometimes, the few people that start going somewhere is the largest party that is going to be fun for someone.  Consider and ask the others in the group before sending cross-continent invitations.  IC is best, obviously, but even OOC is better than just deciding unilaterally to invite someone.
 

Drizzlin

Re: Partying: a personal request
« Reply #16 on: January 19, 2008, 12:44:18 am »
While I do agree with you, I am however on both sides of the fence. Right now are times where groups are sometimes hard to find and there are a lot of new faces. As lynn said, let the group leader know, but at the same time I want to promote group play and getting to know people on the server.

If these means inviting someone who is across the world, who is new to the game, and then being able to help them in tells and tell them where to "run" into us, then so be. I know you would agree with me on this, I am just voicing that is the part that I am on "both sides of the fence".

A random invite here and there to get the 8 people on line together, rather than no random invite and 8 people wondering around and then coming to the forums saying "Where do people hang out? Where is everyone? I can't find groups." is far better for the server as a whole if you ask me.

So, rule of thumb, ask your group leaders and other members. If you are in a group and not asked, bring it up to them in tells, but keep in mind we are all here to have some fun, and hopefully together.

Good post btw.
 

Crizzan

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    Re: Partying: a personal request
    « Reply #17 on: January 19, 2008, 03:00:52 am »
    I agree about inviting new people to join from a distance. However, I have never been in a party where this happened. What usually happens is that someone in the party invites four or five people that are all long time characters, they never join the party, and I can't see the people that are really with us because they've scrolled off the screen. Last time I tried to form a party of four or five low level characters, I suddenly ended up with fifteen, no RP, all bash and crash, and most of those on the list were nowhere nearby.
    For long distance tells with your friends, consider remembering their names so you can send a tell or use the "P" key. There's a reason that table is there.
    And no, there is usually no RP or discussion of any kind before the phantoms appear on the screen. Nor is there any consideration of levels or level spread. (Although I would like to know how you work that. Is there something in game that will show you someone else's level? I usually have to guess.)
     

    Drizzlin

    Re: Partying: a personal request
    « Reply #18 on: January 19, 2008, 04:04:35 am »
    My wife just did this for Berak I think. She cross zone invited him and helped talk him through an area he had no clue how to get through and had died a few times. Just bad luck on your end I guess.
     

    Crizzan

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      Re: Partying: a personal request
      « Reply #19 on: January 19, 2008, 08:08:03 pm »
      I don't think theres anyone saying that no one does it right or well. (I didn't read that here. I certainly did not mean to imply that.)

      I guess the thing is that some people don't seem to understand the difficulties such things can cause. I don't become terribly upset when my low level characters die. (low-level characters do that a lot anyway. That's the nature of the beast.)

      It is upsetting when higher level characters take over the party and lead you into great danger. My character died (no surprise). The only low-level characters that survived were those that fled the battle. Still, such things happen. No big deal.

      However, when RP low levels get togetth to set out but are suddenly outnumbered, outleveled, and outclassed to the extent that they have no idea who is really there or what is happening, that is a problem. Few characters want to be reduced to garbage collection behind the party during prolonged charging battles that should create lasting scars across the land because of the amount of magic used. Is there a loot collector class available on Layonara? I must have missed it in the lore. Maybe it's a crafting skill.

      In case you are wondering, I am not mentioning those that do it right. They need neither correction nor awakening. Unfortunately, those that cannot take a hint must be blugeoned with the blunt truth first to get their attention.

      Also unfortunately, I get the impression that those reading these posts and responding in thse forums are most often those that get it right or try very hard to do so, so everyone can enjoy themselves.

      I guess it comes down to trying to convince an ogre of something when he/she is not present... Fist you have to find the ogre, then you have to beat it down, tie it up, and sit on its head emphasizing each point with a stroke of a very solid club... Even then, they rarely understand, although they have no choice but to listen. They wouldn't even pay attention if it were not for the club.
       

       

      anything