The World of Layonara
Character Development => Development Journals and Discussion => Topic started by: Boxcar on April 25, 2005, 07:40:00 PM
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Journal of Kavil Yodin
*date*
I think it is time I begin recording my journies so that in case I do not see them again, my parents will know they raised a good son, who, if not always obedient, always tried to do right. To my parents: I hope you have by now realized why I had to leave. I could not resign myself to helping my brothers run the family farm for the remainder of my life. Pa knows I was never that good at it.
To you, mother and father, my journey started over a year ago when I left home over your objections. For me, however, it seems as if my journey have just begun. Most of the past year has passed without anything of note happening, with the exception of my travels with an old man who changed my view of the world.
I met this wizened man, who took an interest in me. Why? I cannot say. There is nothing special about me. Nonetheless, an interest in me he took, and we traveled together for a time, going nowhere in particular. I did not mind this in the least, as I really had nowhere pressing to be, and during our time together, he taught me much of the world that I did not know. This led to my realization that despite all I was learning, it was but the smallest taste of what could be known. He insisted I call him "Master", and as he was older and wiser, I saw no reason to object.
The Master taught me much, telling me tales of peoples and places fantastic. Many of his stories I could not bring myself to believe; I think he knew this, but I also think it pleased him that I did not openly discount them. It was important to him that I keep an open mind.
Besides tales, he taught me some more usefull skills. I learned to become somewhat familiar in the most rudimentary forms of defense using a staff, or dagger, or crossbow. I had always managed to avoid serious trouble using my wit and tongue, or in more extreme situations, my feet. The Master was quite clear that this would not always be so.
He also taught me the more elegant aspects of the Common tongue so that I would not always reveal my humble beginnings as the fourth son of a peasant farmer. He explained that the ability to speak well could often open doors that otherwise might remain shut. I find that I often lapse into rougher speech if I am not careful.
But the most important thing the Master did was to introduce to me the teachings of Lucinda, the Lady of Spells. Like all other children, I was given some basic knowledge of the gods, but, again, like most children, these were mere words, lessons to be repeated when asked. Now some of these words have meaning. The Master showed me that Lucinda has touched me in some way, because I have a gift. He showed me of the Weave, and how to be a part of it. Soon, by mere force of will, I was able to conjure light or a mild electric jolt. Not much more than what a skilled entertainer at the local fair could do, but it did open my mind to the possibilities. I knew I would become stronger with practice.
As I practiced, I found that I had attracted the attention of a faery dragon. His name is Forium, and whether I chose him or he chose me, it matters not. He has proven to be a faithful companion, and he has always answered me when I called. I have needed his help on many an occasion.
Only recently, I have found myself in the town of Hlint, on the continent of Mistone. How I got here remains a mystery to me; it would seem that I had a dream in which I talked to a Golden Dragon, and that dream tranpsorted me here somehow. That will surely not satisfy any reader of this journal, as it does not satisfy me, but it is the best explanation I can give for now.
*date*
Today I have met four fellows in whose company I traveled for a fair while. The first, Yar Y'Dnar, is a Paladin. He is quite an impressive individual, and I often wonder what it is he is thinking when he looks at me. I do not know if I measure up to his standards as he seems to be quite experienced. The second is Rawkwin Valerius, a priest devoted to Aeridin. Although not quite as impressive in stature as Yar, Rawkwin appears to be nearly his equal in his knowledge of Mistone. The third member of our party is Esimon Cloudpeek, a Grey Elf wizard. He does not speak to me much and I do not know if it is because he is uncomortable with his surroundings, or if I am just not the type of company he wishes to keep. He does not seem much more familiar with Hlint than do I. The fourth is a Wood Elf, a ranger by the name of Rodlin. He is also very quiet most of the time. I think it will be a long time before I understand elves, if ever I do.
*date*
With Yar, Rawkwins and Esimon, we ventured into some crypts in Hlint. Uncertain of what we were to face and not too sure of my skills yet, I stayed behind Yar and Rawkwins. What a sight they were to behold! Yar tore through those animated skeletons seemingly without effort. So entranced was I in watching him, that I did not see the skeleton who grievously wounded me. I barely managed to block its second swing with my staff before Forium rescued me. This day I learned to be much more mindful of my surroundings.
*date*
I wandered outside Hlint this day with no particular destination in mind. I was not familiar with my surroundings, and I wanted to remedy that. I eventually found myself inside a great hall within a great castle. Before too long, a great many others had gathered there. They all carried themselves with such confidence and might--it was clear that this was a gathering of powerful people. I have never before felt so out of place. I should have left but my curiosity got the better of me, so I waited at the back near the entrance so that I might make a hasty exit should any one of them question my presence.
Then Queen Allurial entered the room, and the hall brightened, as if it had been cast in shadow prior to her arrival. I do not have the words to describe her; she was mesmerizing.
She spoke to the gathering, and there was discussion regarding something called the Snake, and a great many other things that I did not understand. A consensus of some sort was reached, and the gathering proceeded south to Port Hampshire. I wish the journey had been boring, but in truth there was a great deal of fighting against tremendously powerful foes. I did my best to stay out of the way of the Queen's party as well as the enemy, using my limited magics as best I could. I do not know if I was a help, but I do not think I was a hindrance. But the spells and fighting that I saw can scarcely be described. I can only hope someday to be that strong.
There were many heroic acts and displays of power during that journey, but I saw none more impressive than those of a fierce elven lady. I think the Queen had called her Dashiva, and she was intimidating to one such as me. She seemed to have taken charge of the Queen's party. I tried to stay close to her, as I was mightily outclassed by our foes and my desire for safety outweighed my desire to avoid any ill will that my proximity may have caused.
We fought our way through to Port Hampshire, and were there ambushed by invisible assassins. I fell there, and I thought I was dead. But again, I woke up in Hlint, although this time in a much weakened state. After much reflection, I returned to my normal self. I wish I knew what happened to Queen Allurial's quest.
*date*
My abilities have grown as I practice my craft. While I have more confidence in my own abilities, it is clear to me that I will not be able to accomplish much alone. For this reason, I am thankful for my companions: Yar, Rawkwin, Esimon and Rodlin. It has been reassuring to watch them grow into their abilities as I have in mine.
Somehow, Rodlin has begun keeping company with a large bear. Bears were never welcomed when I was on the farm, and I am not comfortable with them now. Rodlin will not part with him, so I think I will have to get used to it. It would be nice, however, if Rodlin would give him a bath every now and then!
*date*
The goblins were up to no good today outside Hlint. Many answered the call to arms and fought against them outside the west gate. For the first time, I saw goblins riding giant wolves, worgs I think they were called, and giant spiders. Just as we had fought them off, a summoning circle appeared near their cave from which many terrible demons emerged. After a long, difficult battle, it seemed as if we had defeated them. Then a fallen angel appeared who seemed to be a messenger from Pyrtechon. She tried to lure us into joining her but I was pleased to note that no one even seemed tempted. When it became clear she would not get what she sought, she left. And a good thing it was, because I do not know if even the mighty warriors who were there could have defeated this evil creature.
*date*
I met a Drow today.
I did not know it at first. Her face was covered, and her skin was not as dark as I had heard it would be, although it was darker than Esimon's. At first, I thought her to be a Grey Elf, like Esimon, and that is what she told us at first.
Some passers-by recognized her for what she was, though, and she admitted to being a Drow. She did not seem to fit any of the stories of the Drow that I had heard, however. She seemed uncertain, furtive, unsure of her surroundings -- nothing like I would have expected from a Drow. She was pleased to have someone to talk to that did not try to run her off -- it seems that has been the more common reaction to her by others. Her name was Annun Firith, and she was not very familiar with the surface world. She approached me once to touch my ears; I suppose because they were dissimilar to those of elves. Nevertheless, I was a bit surprised at her forwardness. She is clearly conflicted but I do not know if it is just because she is unfamiliar with the surface world or if she battles other demons.
After a time, we fought some of those skeletons in the crypt; she was quite adept with her blades and harbors an intense dislike for the undead. That is at least one thing we share. We parted on friendly terms, and I hope that she fares well.
*date*
I have noticed my skills in magic are improving. Finally, after much thought and experimentation, I have taught myself to draw a ball of fire and cast it at a target. I anticipate this will prove most useful, and I hope this will help me be of more use to my companions.
*date*
I met Annun again today. Along with Tomas Vambrace, a mighty Paladin, and some other brave souls, we sought out and defeated a fair number of large ogres. It would seem that Annun and Tomas had become acquainted; Annun said they had had long conversations that were helpful to her. For that I am glad.
As for Tomas, he is quite impressive. He is very good natured and friendly. That should probably not be surprising to me, and yet it is. I suppose I mistrust those with great power, having never really had any myself. Nevertheless, I am happy to have met him.
I wonder if his confidence stems from his connection with his god?
*date*
Yar, Rawkwin, Esimon, Rodlin and I have become comfortable working with each other in our adventures. So much so that I find myself seeking them out when I can. On this day, we ventured into the mines northwest of Haven, hoping to assist the Lord of the land in recovering them from a band of ogres. We fought our way through the upper level of the mines but found ourselves battle-weary and too exhausted to continue deeper. Discretion being the better part of valor, we left and vowed to return another day.
My fireballs did prove useful in this battle. I must better practice where to send them, however, as I singed Yar on more than one occasion. Fortunately for him (and probably me), he heals quickly. I did earn one or two dark glances from him, though.
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*date*
We went exploring today. I am not familiar with the lands surrounding Hlint and sought to remedy that. In addition to our usual group, a speedy dwarf by the name of Lariono Lightning accompanied us. I wandered about his surname, but it fit, as he is one of the fastest persons I have ever seen.
During our journey, Lariono told us of a falling out between him and his god, Vorax, and how he had been trying to redeem himself in Vorax' eyes. It seems as if he somehow has done that, for which I am glad, because Lariono is a very social dwarf and I enjoyed his company.
We encountered some gnolls during our explorations, and chose to test ourselves against them. During the battle, I found myself concentrating on the Weave so much that I did not even feel the first two arrows that pierced me. Lucky for me that Lariono did, and he saved my life by knocking me to the ground just before a third arrow hit me. I must somehow retain awareness of my surroundings while working the Weave.
I owe Lariono a debt, and I shall repay it should he ever need to collect.
*date*
Postmaster Vale needed a letter delivered to a farmer who lived near Haven, on Rilara. As this was an opportunity to explore more, and on a different continent no less, we were happy to take on the task. The promise of some coin was also good incentive.
The journey was more or less uneventful, save for a glimpse of a large flying animal. Yar said it was a griffon, and it looked most fierce. It was at a distance, and we did not think it wise to get much closer.
The return journey was a bit more exciting. Somewhere on the road near the Zhainge River, we were ambushed by some ogres. We were holding our own, when an ogre mage, who had somehow made himself invisible, snuck up on poor Esimon and struck him down. We slayed the mage, but too late to save the Grey Elf.
His death did not last overly long, though. The Lady of Spells restored him to us, and our group was intact once again. Esimon's death has forced me to think more of Lucinda. It seems to me as if Esimon must be in her favor to be returned to us so quickly. And she must have had a hand in restoring me after that brief but painful stop in Port Hampshire.
The Master spoke to me of Lucinda but I still do not know much of her. I do not know if she has always been in my life, but it is clear that she is now a major influence and will be in the future. The more I think of this, and the more I realize how little I truly know of her, my ignorance becomes so apparent. I will have to seek out someone who is experienced in the ways of the Mother of All Magic so that I may learn. Once again, I regret that the Master and I parted ways so soon.
*date*
I have long pondered how that ogre mage who struck down Esimon managed to make himself invisible, and this day I reasoned it out. I can now make a person invisible! This is a day for celebration!
This day also brought a method by which I can protect others from my fireballs, at least partially. It is so simple a solution that I cannot explain why I did not figure it out earlier. Now I can provide some measure of protection to Yar and others before casting forth my fireballs. Yar should appreciate this.
I find it interesting that I have made such improvement in my arcane skills so quickly after reflecting on our Lady of Spells. Perhaps this is a sign that I should seek to learn yet more about her?
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*date*
We ventured north from Hlint today in search of adventure but with no destination in mind. In addition to our usual cadre, a newcomer by the name of Emerald Skye had joined us. Another sword would never hurt, and she carried a big one. After a while we came upon some ruins, around which some orcs were gathered. After a short battle, they were vanquished and we thought to explore the ruins below.
Upon entering the ruins, we encountered some giant rats. We had fought rats before, and thought to make easy work of them. But these were not normal rats; no, they were large and their bite carried an infection that could weaken the strongest dwarf. We were forced to retreat to the surface to regroup.
We entered a second time, this time better prepared. The rats were not too difficult this time and we advanced deeper into this dungeon. We encountered nothing but rats at first. Eventually we came to a room containing a gargoyle. I had never seen one before, but that is what Yar later said it was. It did not die easily, but die it did.
We continued to penetrate deeper into this dungeon, fighting the occasional rat as we encountered it. They normally came at us in groups of 2-4, which we learned to handle without too much difficulty. We became complacent. As we were exploring one room, thinking it empty, all of a suddedn a horde of rats and some black gelatinous mass appeared seemingly out of nowhere. We were quickly overwhelmed as this jelly could paralylze with a touch. Not a one of us was spared.
We found ourselves in a considerably weakened state in Hlint. I think Lucinda once again intervened to allow me to return. I do not know how many more times She will allow me to try Her patience. I encountered Annun again and told her of our ordeal. She seemed familiar with the place, and warned us of even more dangers inside, including a "dragon made of stones and mud". I do not know what that is but I am in no hurry to find out.
Nevertheless, Yar, Rawkwin and I decided to return to the location of our demise in order to make ourselves whole again. The plan was simple, we thought: I could make each of us invisible with my new-found spell and we could sneak past the rats. This worked well, but to our dismay this gelatinous thing was waiting for us and it was not fooled. It quickly incapacitated both Yar and Rawkwin as they were faster than me and the first ones there. When I saw them, I thought they were dead and the jelly fast approaching. In my anger and my fear, I cast fireball after fireball at it, until it was but a smoking mass at my feet. It was a very near thing.
Fortunately for us all, neither Yar nor Rawkwin were dead, and they somehow managed to revive themselves. We quickly made ourselves whole and returned to Hlint.
Complacency can be a deadly thing.
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*date*
My confidence grows as my skills continue to improve. Despite my nearly constant practice, though, I am finding it difficult to master even more complex spells. I will be persistent as I am sure the reward will be well worth the effort.
Since my rate of progress has slowed, I have become more interested in acquiring magical items that would complement my skills. I have had no luck in finding any such items during my limited travels. Since I do not have the gold to purchase them, it looks like I may have to make them.
It turns out that this is not as simple as it sounds. There is much work that must be done and many skills that I must master before I will be able to craft even the most basic ring or wand. I enjoy learning the new skills but it reduces the time I can spend learning new magic. I must endeavor to find the right balance.
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*date*
Esimon and I were outside the bank in Hlint when Rodlin went running by in quite a hurry. Annun was not too far behind, and as she approached nearer, it became quite clear that she had fallen in battle, for she was but a shadow of herself. Others had fallen, too.
"Come?" she asked me. Esimon and I followed her and the others to the forest outside Fort Hope, where the recently revived prayed and became whole again. The group agreed that the undead beings were an abomination and we would do our best to rid the forest of them, although it seemed Annun's abhorrence of them was slightly more fervent than the rest. We fought several battles against countless undead and managed to emerge from each fight, weakened but victorious. In her zeal, Annun became somewhat reckless and fell again in the final battle. Elrend, a Grey Elf sorcerer, and I escorted her spirit back to where she fell so that she could become whole once again.
After the fighting was over, Annun told Elrend that she was a Drow. Like me when I first met her, Elrend had thought she was a Grey Elf, for that is what she told him. He was quite taken aback, and if fact, departed in anger. Annun was quite upset as well. After everyone had rested and given the matter some thought, the two discussed the issue and it seems as if Elrend is willing to accept her as a friend. I suspect it will be a fragile friendship for some time, until the trust is restored, if ever it can be.
During the battles, a priestess named Hali Aranma had joined us. She said she followed Lucinda, and she proved herself quite powerful throughout the fighting. She left before I had a chance to discuss the Lady of Spells with her. I know I am sadly lacking in my knowledge, both of Her and my gift. Lucinda must have a reason for granting me this power, and I do not want to waste it. I need to find someone who can teach me; perhaps Hali Aranma is one who can. Should I seek her out to see if she is willing?
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*date*
The Grey Mountains are a forbidding place for the inexperienced. Although my powers have grown, as have those of my compatriots, I do not consider myself to be the confident, wise adventurer like so many that I see around the few parts of Mistone I have visited. Still, we had a need to venture into the Grey Mountains to retrieve an item from the chieftan of an ogre clan.
Based on my limited experience with ogres, this could probably not be accomplished peacefully.
Fortunately, Tomas Vambrace agreed to accompany us to the mountains. He recommended, and we quickly agreed, that we sneak past as many of the ogres as we could then fight the chieftain and his guards. The plan worked well. We snuck past the many ogres until we had made it to the chieftain's camp. Our fighters attacked the ogre mages first because they had a nasty habit of making themselves invisible. We magic users tried to keep the ogre warriors from surrounding the fighters, mainly by becoming targets ourselves and running away from them. While these were not the actions I've always envisioned by accomplished adventurers, they did aid the group's efforts.
The battle was not without consequence, however, as when it was over, the warrior lass Emerald lay lifeless on the battlefied. We stood around her, quiet in our remorse, and I did not know what to do. And then something wonderful and amazing happened. Tomas prayed to the Lady of Spells for Her aid, and with Her power, he resurrected Emerald.
In all the possibilities I imagined using magic, I never imagined anything such as this. It is clear that I have but glimpsed the smallest aspects of Her power.
Later, I talked to Tomas a little about the Lady of Spells for I do not know much of Her, and it increasingly becomes clear that I must learn more. He advised me to seek out Celgar, who apparently is very knowledgeable and in the Lady's favor. Unfortunately, Tomas could not tell me where I could find him. I shall have to be vigilant.
After our return to Fort Hope, our band discovered that Tomas was our neighbor, living only two houses down from where we had taken up residence. Is this coincidence, or can the Lady of Spells be trying to tell me something by placing someone She favors so near to me?
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*date*
I met Hank Torrents outside the merchants shop in Hlint today. I had seen him before, even talked to him a bit, but today was the first time we talked on anything of note. It turns out that Hank is quite troubled, and I do not think I was able to comfort him in any way.
I hesitate to record the substance of our discussion because I do not want to violate his trust. But perhaps if I put it in writing in my personal journal, I may more carefully consider his situation, and perhaps reason out a solution, or at least some advice or a course of action.
It seems that Hank has no memory of his past before the age of 13. His earliest memory is awakening in a blood soaked room in a cabin in the middle of a forest he could not name or even tell me its location. Despite all the blood about him, he was spotless. He was soon found by a band of roving rangers who raised him, but at the age of 22, he left them and can not find them again. It seems the absence of a past is sorely troubling him, and he fears losing control.
I tried to tell him that who he is today is the result of all he has done since his first memory, but he does not believe it. He has a need to discover his past, and not knowing how to do it may slowly be driving him mad, for he certainly seemed quite despondent and frustrated. In truth, despite my words, I think there is a need to know your past. I shall have to watch him, to see if I can provide aid but also to ensure the safety of those around him. As I do not yet know him well, I do not know what he capable of doing should he lose his self-control.
*date*
Captain Garent of the Hlint Guard asked our band to bring him the head of the chief of the lizard Blood Clan who was located in a cave deep in the High Moors. We were warned that it would be very dangerous so we were determined to approach cautiously.
The trek to the cave involved several increasingly difficult battles as the lizardmen were fierce warriors. Still, we managed to get to the cave entrance with everyone in relatively good shape.
Inside the cave, there were even more warriors with crossbowmen and shaman providing support. The crossbowmen were deadly accurate and the shaman had protective magics that made it difficult to harm them from a distance. Nevertheless, we managed to vanquish every lizardman that we encountered and progressed to a lower level in the caves.
We were incredibly lucky, for upon exiting the stairs down, we caught the chief by surprise and he was alone. We made quick work taking his head, gruesome though it was.
Upon our return, Captain Garent was too busy to speak with us. We had thought our task urgent to him, so something of great import must be troubling him to not have time to talk to us. We shall have to visit him again because any gold he may be able to provide as a reward is sorely needed. I wish that I could say we had done this thing solely for the good of Hlint, and that was indeed one reason, but would we have done it without the promise of gold? That is something for us to consider.
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*date*
Rawkwin asked Tomas to make something for him that required some topaz. Fortunately, Tomas knew where to get some and so we headed that way. Right before leaving Fort Hope, Hali Aranma joined us so that our group numbered seven: Yar, Tomas, Hali, Rawkwin, Rodlin, Esimon and myself. Along the way, Tomas warned us all that there were many ogres inside this cave that held the topaz and that we would need to cautious.
And he was right. I do not think I have ever seen so many ogres in one place; there were many warriors and several mages. Still, with Tomas and Hali there, the battle was easier than I thought it would be. Tomas, Yar and Hali were most impressive in their fighting; I think each could take on several ogres alone and still emerge victorious. For my part, I tried to stay out of the way, and looked to harass and kill the ogre mages to keep them from casting their magics on my friends. After the battle, Tomas mined the topaz veins that he could find but had no luck in finding any that he could use. When he took a break, I took up my chisel and managed to find one that he thought might suit his needs. We were all disappointed that we could not find more.
We returned to Hlint, where Tomas was to begin crafting this thing Rawkwin wanted. While the rest of the group wandered off to relax or do other things, Hali graciously agreed to discuss with me the Lady of Spells. She claimed to still be a novice herself, which I find hard to believe after seeing the way she conducts herself. But I have no reason to doubt her, and she knows far more than I.
Our discourse continued for some time and I hope that what I record here is accurate, for much was discussed that I think important. I told her something of myself in the hopes that she would understand how little I knew. Hali described how the Lady favors the use of magic and its use for good. She provided several examples of her own actions and how they contributed to good for me to consider.
She also described the orders of the Lucindite church: there are eight, one for each school of magic and each led by a Grandmaster. And these Grandmasters make up the Council of Magic. There are two temples nearby; one at Blackford castle and one at Spellguard. I should like to visit them sometime. In fact, Hali offered to take me to Spellguard but I had to decline, for I was fatigued from the day's events.
I am thankful that Hali spared some of her time for me. I have learned much, and have been given much to think on. But our discussion has raised even more questions, and I hope to talk with her again.
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*date*
We ventured back into the Haven mines, this time with Tomas Vambrace in our company. Our group was smaller: Tomas, Rawkwin, Emerald, Rodlin, Esimon and myself. The plan was simple: sneak past as many ogres as we could, and fight the ones we couldn't. Earlier, I had made some trips deep into the mines by myself, cloaked by invisibility. During these trips, I had learned that the ogre chief was very well guarded by many warriors and mages. Any battle with them would be a difficult one.
So we began our trek into the mines. We approached the first cavern that contained ogres, and Tomas went charging in with his fiery sword leading the way. He quickly dispatched the ogres almost single-handedly, and we continued on. He repeated this with each group of ogres as we progressed through the first level. It was the most aggressive sneaking I had ever witnessed.
All of this fighting may have tired him somewhat, because after 3 or 4 such fights, we stopped and between Tomas, Esimon and myself, made everyone invisible. We carefully crept past ogres too many to count until we had reached the deepest level containing a large cavern in which the ogre chief resided. We prepared ourselves for battle, and attacked. Our invisibility afforded us the advantage of surprise, and we managed to defeat the ogres before they could organize a coordinated defense. We quickly made our back to the surface, sneaking all the way, and made our way to Haven castle. The Lord rewarded each of us quite well for our assistance.
*date*
Well, it seems that whatever matter that made Captain Garrett too busy to talk to us has been resolved to his satisfaction. Now that he had time to talk with us, we proved to him that the lizard chief had been vanquished, and he rewarded each of us with a nice sum of gold. Mine went straight into the bank, for I have my eye on a ring that I am told will enhance my arcane skills, and which is far beyond my skill to make. I have developed an urge to acquire items of a magical nature, and am far too impatient to wait until I have developed my crafts sufficiently to make my own.
*date*
I wonder how Annun is doing? I have not seen her in some time, and that concerns me. I have seen her fight, and she is more than capable of taking care of herself. But I still remember how lost she seemed when first we met. I hope that she is well.
*date*
We had a meeting today at the Wild Surge Inn. The Wizard's Wheat Ale was quite good, if a bit strong. The elves had some trouble with it, though. Esimon crawled on top of the table before falling asleep there, and Rodlin couldn't walk straight when we left.
Tomas Vambrace was the primary topic of discussion. Rawkwin wanted us to understand that there was potentially some conflict between him and Yar. As both of these men are fine warriors and worthy companions and I hope that I can call each a friend, this was clearly a matter of concern to me, and the rest of the group.
Tomas is a priest of the Lady of Spells, Lucinda. Yar is a Paladin of Toran. Toran and the Lady are on the outs with each other, for reasons I do not know. Nevertheless, Tomas is uncertain that he will remain in the Lady's favor if he should continue to associate with Yar. For the time being, it seems that Tomas will continue to adventure with us as the opportunity permits, but he will not use the divine powers granted him by the Lady to aid Yar.
I now face a dilemma. I have not given much thought to the matters of gods, or how those matters should affect us mortals. My ignorance, deliberate or not, has shielded me from such considerations. Over time, I have learned that Yar is a true and valiant man, and he is my friend. It would be troublesome to have to surrender that friendship over a dispute unknown to me.
I believe the Lady has granted to me my arcane powers and that She did this for a reason. I do not wish to misuse this power or disappoint Her, so I will look to Tomas as my example. My use of magic thus far has been to the detriment of the evil creatures I have faced, and for the benefit of all the good peoples of Mistone. The fact that this has aided Yar on some occasions is more a coincidence caused by his presence than the result of a deliberate act of aid on my part, and I think this serves Her in a manner that She would approve. It is also consistent with some of the deeds that Hali has herself performed as she told me in our talk a few nights ago. So I shall continue to do as I have done, and look for any signs that the Lady disapproves.
I shall have to be careful, though. I am not so pious as Tomas, so I am not comfortable asking Her for guidance. Indeed, I do not even know if I would recognize Her answer should She deign to give it to one as insignificant as me. I wonder if I should seek guidance at one of Her temples--Hali did say there was one in Spellguard, and another at Blackford Castle. I have never been to Spellguard but Hali did offer to take me there, and Blackford Castle is not so far away.
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*date*
Vampires! I had heard stories of them and rumors that they were around Fort Hope. I was not sure that I believed them until I saw some in the Broken Forest. Rodlin and I were there alone, for we had dawdled and the rest had continued on to Hlint. The forest became very dark, even though it was mid-day. There were at least 3, I think, but could easily have been more. Rodlin had summoned a dire wolf; the vampires killed it without effort. I think I hurt one with my magic missiles, but not much. I did not stay long to find out; Rodlin and I ran, as we were clearly out-numbered and over-matched.
We caught up to the others, and as we were telling them of these evil undead beings, an Undead Hunter of Toran approached. It was his task to defeat these vampires he said, so we led him back to the forest, but they had gone. The forest was no longer dark, and there was no sign of them. The Undead Hunter warned us all to be careful, and to report any further sightings to him at the temple in Fort List.
*date*
Forium has left me. Or rather, we have agreed to part ways. He was a faithful companion but his urge to mate and raise a family was becoming a distraction for him. I could tell he was becoming unhappy; although it saddened me, it was best to let him go.
His parting gift was wonderful, however. He introduced me to Lera, a pixie, and she has agreed to come to me when I call her. While not quite the fighter that Forium is, Lera has proven herself to be quite resourceful, and will be a good companion, I am sure.
*date*
I met a very powerful priestess yesterday: Lady Eldarwen Hilliaraname of Lucinda. Rawkwin had asked to meet with her to discuss the enmity between the Lady and Toran, and the effect this was having on Tomas' ability to travel with Yar. When I learned of the meeting, I invited myself along, and so I met with Rawk at the Wild Surge Inn for her. I was eager to learn as much of the Lady as I could, and this seemed too good an opportunity to pass up.
She was very gracious, both to meet with us, and then to tell us a tale that might explain the enmity between Toran and the Lady. The tale involved both those two, and Corath, and explained much. I must confess to harboring some foolish thoughts of reconciling the two or at least to ameliorate their differences, although how this might be done did not occur to me. But the story Eldarwen told leaves me to think that the enmity between Toran and the Lady may never be resolved.
Lady Hilliaraname did say that one could travel with a Toranite if one must, but must never use the Lady's gift on them. This seemed to be the same conclusion that Tomas had reached.
Eldarwen had to leave us rather abruptly, and her departure was something I will never forget. She went outside the inn, and was met by a veritable army of huge, elemental creatures. They were all there for her, it seemed, and if not benevolent, they were at least indifferent to the rest of us. And a good thing, too, because it seemed any one of these creatures could have destroyed the entire town if they had a mind to.
There was one such elemental that was larger than the rest, and seemed to be the leader of them. He was wounded, and it was clear that this group had been in a battle of some sort. I cannot even imagine what type of creature could injure some thing so powerful but it appeared that his group had been victorious, and were now guarding a "pool". Eldarwen had mentioned having to meet "her love" and I think this creature was the one of whom she was speaking. She healed him, and then they left. And the manner in which they left! This large creature merely encircled her with his arms, and they sank into the earth. I was left breathless by the entire spectacle, almost stunned, really. I found it difficult to focus my thoughts for some time afterward.
But once I could, I realized I still faced the same dilemma: how do I let the enmity between Toran and the Lady affect my friendship with Yar? Yar has shown me nothing but friendship, and he has saved my life on more than one occasion. I believe he follows Toran not only because his father and his father's father did, but because he truly believes in honor, duty and commitment.
This had not been a problem for me before too long ago, as I was fairly ignorant of the Lady and Her ways. But I find that as my skills with the Weave grow stronger and my knowledge of Her grows, I do want to serve her more faithfully than I have been. I do not think I will ever have the divine connection with Her that it is clear to me that Tomas and Hali have -- and Eldarwen -- but I firmly believe there is a connection, or else I would not have this gift.
It seems a simple solution to do as Tomas has decided, and Eldarwen directed. To not use the Lady's gift to aid Yar. But this seems wrong to me, for he is my friend, and we fight the same battles. Might there be another solution? Why must friends be unable to help each other, because of the past between two deities and for acts we did not commit?
*date*
I saw Annun again today at the crafthouse in Hlint. She looked well and seemed a bit more comfortable in her surroundings, which pleased me for some reason. Although she has not completely mastered the common language, she has learned the names of many of the surrounding areas.
She gave me an acid flask and a pouch of choking powder that she had made, telling me they have been useful for fighting against small groups. I shall have to try them; I gave her a couple of healing potions that Rawkwin had made for me in return.
Annun surprised me by showing me the robes I had given her. She had dyed them white to match her hair. I had not told her that they were the first I had ever made; I'm surprised but pleased she kept them.
I am relieved that she is doing well. For some reason, I feel protective of her although it is quite clear to me that she does not need my protection. Nonetheless, I find that I have enjoyed the few times we have spent together.
-
*date*
I was travelling from Hlint to Fort Hope when I came across Yar, Esimon and Emerald along the outskirts of Krandor. They were each wounded, Yar the worst, after having just fought off some ogres. Although not unheard of, it was unusual for them to be so aggressive on this road. As we were talking, another group of ogres attacked. We fought them off, and with some of us badly hurt, decided to regroup at the house in Fort Hope.
Once at the house, we realized that Esimon was no longer with us. We decided to go back to look for him after mending our wounds. Just before we were ready to depart, he arrived, quite battered and forlorn. He explained that he had been captured by the ogres, and forced to reveal the secrets of some potent magic to one of their mages. Then they let him go, telling him to return to teach them some more.
This could not be allowed! The ogres were already dangerous enough without having more powerful magic. We resolved to hunt down this ogre mage, and kill it before it could teach others.
We took a quick trip to Port Hampshire first, so Emerald could pick up a new sword. Along the way, we had managed to gather quite a powerful group; among them were Hali Aranma, Cole Norseman and Pathfinder Anu-pilinn. Annun also joined us there, and when she arrived it was clear that she had had to fight through the ogres to reach us. She informed the group that the ogres were building some type of fort near the road in Krandor outskirts.
The group decided that Cole should deliver a message to Blackford Castle to inform them of this ogre uprising. Cole had served as a guard there some time ago, and it was thought that his delivery of the message would help verify its authenticity.
The rest of us returned to locate the fort. We fought many ogres, including many that wielded magic, and managed to defeat them. Annun found what appeared to be notes within the fortress that described how to make the spells Esimon had been forced to divulge. Satisfied that we had removed the threat of ogres using powerful magic, we destroyed the fort, and the majority of the group moved on.
Lucky for me, Annun stayed to talk with me. She was happy to tell me that she had tamed a large black cat, who now would do her bidding. Tarma was the cat's name. To say Tarma was tamed may not be the right expression; I really think that the two came to some accord. Annun had said the cat had been following her, so there is clearly some connection between the two, even though Tarma was not present this day. She certainly seemed pleased to have her new companion and promised to show Tarma to me at a later date.
*date*
Rawkwin had heard that the Barbarian Isles might contain minerals and such that would someday prove useful to us, so we travelled there.
It was bitterly cold. You could not walk but a few steps from a fire before you would start shivering. A few more steps, and your fingers would go numb. If you were not careful, soon you would not even be able to hold a staff. The travelling was quite slow, for we often had to build fires to warm ourselves.
We encountered a camp of gnolls, and they were dangerous. It seems the cold has bred a hearty breed of gnolls up there, and they were good fighters--better even than the ones I had seen in Mistone.
Eventually, we found a cave, and inside were large numbers of kobolds. Like the gnolls outside, these kobolds were dangerous in battle, for they were tough and there were many of them, and some even cast some magic. We also found alexandrite within these caves, and we took some back to Fort Hope with us. My skills with gems has slowly improved, although I am still but a novice, and I wanted to see what I could do with this mineral that I had never seen before.
We could not explore all of the isles because of the cold, so we determined that we would return again at a later date.
-
*date*
The Arcane Guild held a meeting in Port Hampshire. I knew little of this organization but it seemed to hold promise, so I went. If nothing else, some new knowledge might be gained and some faces learned.
The meeting was led by Tathnolu, a Drow, and Lia Di'makiir, an elf. Both are powerful wizards, at least by my standards. These two represented 2/3 of the Grand Council; a Master Elinmire, who was not present, was the third member. The Grand Council would establish policy and represent the guild to the outside world.
Several other arcane users attended the meeting, most seemed to be more learned than I. I noted Twixel there, but he left not too long after the meeting started. He seemed unnerved by Tathnolu.
The Arcane Guild's mission, as stated by Tathnolu, was to learn...record...research...discover...and protect. To that end, members fulfill one or more professions within the guild. While I understood the names of the professions, some of the terms bandied about -- words like transmutation, abjuration, evocation -- were not familiar to me. It seemed that these professions were tailored to wizards, and it was not clear to me how someone like myself would fit in. This concern was shared by at least one other at the meeting, a Connor Garvill. He was most eloquent in his discussions with Tathnolu and Lia, and asked most of the questions I had, and so I was happy to leave the discourse to him.
Before the meeting ended, an Arcane Council of three members was established. Connor was one, named by Master Elinmire. Oholibama, a Dwarven wizard and one I do not know, was chosen by Tathnolu. The third member, to be selected by Lia, remained un-named. The Arcane Council will run the day-to-day affairs of the guild.
I think this Connor Garvill can work the Weave through force of will, much like myself. I have not met many who can--in fact, he may be the first--and I should like to talk to him if the opportunity should arise. To increase the chances of that, I think I shall join this guild. Its goals seems to be in keeping with the Lady's teachings, and I do not think She would object to my association with it.
*date*
We ventured back to the Dire Forest near Fort Velensk again in search of topaz. Along the way, a travelling Bard named Farros joined us. He was quite the rowdy and boisterous fellow and was quite entertaining. He proved quite useful in battle, too, for his song removed any doubt I had about my own skills, and his swordplay was a pleasure to observe.
We challenged both ogres and giants in the areas around Velensk. Our discipline as a group has improved, although Rawkwin still sometimes likes to get too far ahead of the rest of us, and therefore, the battles were challenging but well managed. Overall, the venture was a success, although we did not come home with as much topaz as we would have liked.
-
*date*
We ventured back to the Barbarian Isle this day to see if we could finish exploring and mapping. Annun had joined us; she is proving to be an excellent travelling companion and her skills in the outdoors are most useful. She does not talk much of herself--but then, neither do I.
Most of the Isle is frigid, and the best way to stay warm was to keep moving. Even that did not always work, though, and we often had to stop to build fires to warm ourselves. To our collective surprise, after a while exploring and avoiding those dangerous creatures we saw, we found an area that did not seem as cold as the rest of the island, and there was little snow on the ground. It was here that my carelessness killed Rawkwin.
As had been his wont, I made Rawkwin invisible so that he could scout this area ahead of us. This was deemed an efficient use of my magic, for we liked having him invisible so that he could heal those in need if we were forced into battle. Since he would already be invisible, I could conserve my energy for other spells.
This time, though, I made a mistake, and I did not fold the Weave properly. Rawkwin was invisible when he left us, but at some point, my spell unravelled and he could be seen by anyone, and he was. A group of large bear-shaped men saw him, and immediately attacked. We could not come to his aid in time, and he fell. We slew our opponents in a difficult battle, and mourned our fallen comrade. Emerald took it the hardest, for the two of them have clearly grown feelings for each other. Yet she could still spare me a smile, fragile though it was, and I do not think she bore me ill-will for my carelessness.
Rawkwin's god, Aeridin, allowed him to be revived, and after some time, Rawkwin rejoined us, and we left the Isle for Mistone.
Over and over I try to recall what I did wrong, but it does not come to me. I failed my friend, Rawkwin, and I failed the Lady by my imperfect use of Her gift. This requires much thought and consideration, for I must atone for my failure.
*date*
Today was a great day! Yar knew of a place where we might find some gold, and find it we did. There was battles and exploration, but the important thing is that we came home with a fair number of gold nuggets. Yar smelted them into ingots, and gave them to me.
I am pleased to note that once again, Annun accompanied us and her advice was invaluable. When Yar told her of our plans, she warned us that our goal was too lofty, and we would likely die fighting the beings that guarded our chosen destination. She advised us of another location, not too far from the first, that we might have success--and we did. She has clearly travelled farther than I, and has much knowledge of these places. I shall have to make a point of exploring more on my own.
Once back in Port Hampshire, my task was to create some magical rings. My skills have grown somewhat, and while I would still be but an apprentice to many of the gem-crafters in Mistone, I thought them sufficient that I could try to fashion these magical rings.
I had sufficient gold and ring molds to make five rings, I thought. The vital component for each ring, though, was a gem that I had cut and polished, and Rawkwin had enchanted. I fashioned the ring from the gold and ever so carefully attempted to set the gem. Once satisfied that the gem was properly set, I let the ring cool for a bit. I placed the ring upon my finger, and I felt a subtle motion through my body, and I knew that I was stronger. Success! My first magical ring!
I removed the ring and forced myself to calm down. I had done this once -- could I do it again? Carefully, I repeated the steps I had taken to make the first ring, and again I was successful! I could scarcely believe my luck nor contain my excitement. In fact, I could not, and it showed. When placing the gem in the third ring, my eagerness got the better of me, and I cracked the gem. The third try was a failure, and I was sorry to have ruined such a beautiful stone. The loss sobered me, however, and I redoubled my efforts for the fourth and fifth tries. A steadier hand and better concentration proved to be the key, and I soon had a third and a fourth ring.
The first one I made, I kept for myself. It being the first such ring I have made, and on my first try no less, it holds a special meaning for me. The second one I gave to Annun, for without her we would not have obtained the gold we needed. The third and fourth I passed to Rawkwin for his use, as Yar said he had no need of such rings.
After we had all parted ways, I paused to reflect. In my eyes, I had failed the Lady only a short time ago. And yet today, I far surpassed my expectations in making these magical rings. Clearly, the Lady guided my hand this day...despite my imperfect use of Her gift the other day. She can be a trickster, said Hali, in our talk a few weeks back. Have I just witnessed an example of that? I do not know if I please Her for I do not have the wisdom and faith of Hali and Tomas, nor the smarts of someone like Esimon to understand.
-
I have learned much over the past couple of days that I never would have in school. Nor would I have learned it from any that I grew up with, and would certainly never have learned from personal experience in my days to come. Along with my friends, I have listened to the words of Ozymandius Llewellyn, a sickly looking elf whose visage belies his power. There is much more to this elf than you could ever guess based on his appearance, and I am positive that I still know almost nothing about him. I am uncertain that I want to know more.
I did not care for the way I met this Ozymandius. He was quite eloquent, especially towards Annun and Emerald. I do not think I will ever be able to turn a phrase as nicely as he could, and it bothered me to hear him talk to Annun that way. During that initial encounter, he licked her face to show to her the forked tongue that she had claimed one so eloquent as him must have (which in fact he did). I especially did not like that, and it was done before I even knew it was happening. She did not seem to care for it but did not seem to react, although I think I did see her tremor ever so slightly.
He spoke of other-worldly things, of the Hells and of demons and devils, and wars involving numbers of people beyond my imagining. But through it all, I gleaned just a small bit of how the planes are connected, and descriptions of places that defy imagining. I do not know if or how I would ever use this information but knowing it cannot be a bad thing, I think.
One thing Ozymandius did confirm is that demons and devils can be killed, although it takes quite an effort. Knowing that it can be done is half the battle, though, for I did not think it was possible before this.
At one point during these talks, while we were all sitting around Ozymandius as children do around a teacher, Annun spoke something to me in Elven. I did not understand what she said, but I wanted to. Most of my exposure to the Elven tongue has been Esimon and Rodlin talking to each other, but neither of them ever made the language sound the way Annun did. For the first time, I wanted to know this language. I wonder if either of those two would consider teaching me?
Over these discussions, Ozymandius revealed some few things about himself that I cannot bring myself to put on paper, for I can scarcely believe them. I shall only pen this for anyone who reads this journal: Do not ever place your trust in Ozymandius Llewellyn, nor ever broker a deal with him. You will not know what you are getting into.
*date*
I think I have convinced Esimon to teach me Elven. He was tried a couple of words on me, and I am having a difficult time trying to wrap my tongue around them. To his credit, Esimon has resisted laughing at my stumbling efforts. This will not be so easy, I fear.
-
*date*
Today, I woke up and found the world to be a beautiful place. I have much hope for the future. I shall write no more about that here, for that is best saved for a later time.
*date*
I really should try to write about these events as they occur as I risk missing some important detail. Even though this adventure is not yet over, I shall try to recount the events of the past few days because I may look back on them and realize they were important. Perhaps my thoughts on paper will remind me of some detail that will aid me in the future.
I travelled to Hurm to meet with Rawkwin, Emerald and some others. Rawkwin had had an item stolen from him the week before, and the culprit turned out to be a young boy from a fishing village near Hurm who was trying to raise money to pay the ransom for his missing sister. It seemed Rawkwin's intent was to see if he could aid in the search for the boy's sister.
Hurm was deserted when we arrived. It was clear that something had forced the town's residents to leave in a hurry, although it was not clear what that something was. A search of the town revealed only a lone beggar who spoke of beings that had attacked the town from the sea. The boy was no where to be found.
We looked for the boy's fishing village north of Hurm. It was there that we found the boy, dead. Rawkwin attempted to revive him but was struck down by his god, Aeridin. Rawkwin later told me that Aeridin had not approved of his efforts because of the boy's chosen deity. Yashilla, a priestess of Mist, raised the boy, who then recounted a tale of men coming from the sea to fight and kill. Yashilla left the boy with food, water and a goodly sum of money, and we left for the Bay of Carocsa to learn more.
Near the bay, we found a sea elf, a type of being I had never seen before. It appeared as if he had been on land too long and was near to dying. Talan V'lash carried this sea elf to the ocean where it quickly revived. It talked briefly in Elven with Talan before it swam away. I presumed that it talked to Talan only because he had saved its life. I do not know how well the discussion went as it was in Elven, and I am not sure if the two dialects were sufficiently similar to make conversation easy. But their conversation served its purpose, as Talan lead us farther up the coast.
*note in margin* It seems that sea elves cannot survive for long away from their ocean home.
We continued our search up the coast, and found more of these sea elves. Only one or two were willing to talk to us. They call those of us who live on land the "breathless", presumably because we do not breathe water. From these sea elves, we learned that Carocsa, a sea elf priestess who is an avatar for the goddess Shindelaria, is missing. This loss has created a crisis for the sea elves, and they blame the breathless.
This Carocsa also has some type of relationship with the Shark Lord -- mate, companion, friend -- her role with him is not clear to me. The Shark Lord has become extremely agitated not that she is gone, and the sharks in the oceans have become very aggressive, attacking everything.
Upon our return to Hurm, a ship's captain informed us that North Point was being terrorized. We traveled there by land, and found a sea elf army in Delanthar along the way. A truce with the sea elves was negotiated in which they agreed to withhold attacks against the breathless for one month while we attempted to locate and retrieve Carocsa. We arrived in North Point to find the Shark Lord in human form but he quickly left.
At the temple of Shindelaria, the Shark Lord agreed to withhold his shark attacks while an attempt to recover Carocsa was made. It seems that Carocsa was captured by minions of Pyrtechnon. Ozymandius will try to find more information so that the next course of action can be decided.
-
We travelled to Firesteep, home of Fisterion the Red Dragon, avatar of Pyrtechon. By all accounts, Carocsa had been abducted by Pyrtechon's minions and it seemed that Firesteep would be where we would find her. Our goal was to find and retrieve Carocsa; unfortunately, we did not have a very good plan to actually accomplish that. There were many notables in our group; I was among the least experienced.
We found ourselves deep within Firesteep, face to face with a fallen deva and another powerful minion. We did not get there without incident, however. At one point, we were trapped in a hallway, surrounded by fire elementals and huge demons that I was later told were balors. Many of us fell, and for the life of me I cannot say why I was not among them. I was amazed when these demons and elementals were defeated.
But there we found Carocsa, caged and defenseless. We attempted to negotiate her release but the fallen deva seemed to be more interested in toying with us than anything else. Then she beckoned one member of our group, Yashilla, priestess of Mist, forward. Her, and her alone, would the fallen deva let inside the room that held Carocsa. Once in that room, she bade Yashilla to slay Carocsa as the final price in a deal forging an alliance between Mist and Pyrtechon. Because with Carocsa's death, Shindelaria would be weakened and Mist would become the undisputed ruler of the seas. In return, Mist would make Firesteep unassailable by sea or sky.
I never thought Yashilla would do it. I could never imagine killing anyone so defenseless as Carcosa was then. But before my horrified gaze, that is exactly what Yashilla did. And the alliance between Mist and Pyrtechon was forged. Yashilla attempted to explain her actions but the group was too angry to listen. There have been many threats against her life, though none were mine. I was angry, too, both at the murder and for the feeling of betrayal. At that point, it seemed clear to me that Yashilla had accompanied the group for the sole purpose of gaining access to Carocsa.
We returned to the Bay of Carcosa to tell the sea elves and the Shark Lord of our failure. We foolishly tried to kill the Shark Lord to prevent him from taking his revenge on all people who use the sea. That attempt failed, and probably only enraged him even more. The sea elves seemingly have scattered, and Shindelaria is greatly weakened.
Some time later, after the emotions of the events had passed, I more carefully considered the explanation Yashilla had tried to give to us. In her mind, she was serving her goddess, Mist. By slaying Carocsa, Yashilla greatly weakened Shindelaria and strengthened Mist at the same time. Furthermore, by enabling Mist to have control of the seas, Firesteep is now better protected than it ever has been. This could be important to the war against Blood, as Fisterion is safe and it is believed that his aid is needed in this war. On the other hand, Fisterion may now be nigh unassailable should he turn on us, and this is troubling.
Objectively, Yashilla's goals are understandable and might even be lauded by some. What if the Lady of Spells asked me to do the same? Would I commit such an act to increase Her influence and power, perhaps making the world a safer place and gaining no small favor for myself, all at the same time? Could I resist such a request? This line of thought troubles me, and for now I can only hope never to have to make such a decision.
-
*date*
My relationship with Annun has significantly deepened over the past few weeks. This is both surprising and exciting to me. I had been focused on learning the lay of the land and improving my own skills so that I may be of use to my friends, and perhaps the world someday. "Some things are best found when you're not looking for them," she told me, and in this case, it is proven true. I think recording some of my thoughts may help me make some sense of what is happening.
There will be much that has happened between her and I that will not be written in this journal. Her secrets are her own, and I have no business writing down those that she confides in me. And some of the memories we have already made and will make in the future will also not be written, for they belong to her and me, and no one else.
I still remember when we first met. There was something about her...I wanted to aid her or protect her--but not just that. I do not think I know the words that I need to express this feeling. Maybe I felt this way because even though she seemed lost and uncertain of her surroundings when I first saw her, she did not seem uncertain of herself, of her own abilities. I don't know if that makes sense. But I have not felt this way about anyone else I have met, either before or since.
Although she still spends much time alone -- well, never really alone as she has Tarma -- she seems to have taken a liking to our group and will often accompany us when we explore. I think she likes the way we work together, and she fits in well. Good with a bow, even better with her blades, she is a far superior fighter now than I would ever hope to be. I am sometimes bothered by this, because Pa taught us to be protective towards women, and Annun is usually the one protecting me.
She is very independent, accepting aid when offered but never really asking for it. She won't allow anyone to lessen her role, or do for her what she feels she should do for herself. She seems to take pleasure in showing me things that previously I did not see or know; things I think she takes for granted that most people would know, and yet she does not belittle me for it--rather I think she finds it amusing that someone as naive as myself has survived this world for as long as I have. She is intelligent, capable, confident, dangerous -- and I think has overcome more challenges than I could guess at.
But recently she has expressed concern about who she is, or actually -- who she was. Her memories only go back so far, and I think she may slowly be recalling bits and pieces of her past, or small items of information that give her clues to that past. I think she fears that somewhere in those locked away memories could be evil acts and thoughts that she could not countenance today. I find it difficult to believe that could be true, for since I have met her, she has done nothing to shake my confidence that she has a good soul. Nevertheless, even if she found that to be true, she is not that person now.
I do not yet know how I can help her, or even if I can help her. I do not even know if she would want my help. But I will not let her face this alone if I can aid her. Now, if I only I can figure out how.
-
*date*
My enchanting skills improve ever so slowly. On the one hand, it is an expensive, time-consuming process marred with many setbacks and failures. On the other, the occasional success creates a feeling of accomplishment for something well-earned and difficult to achieve. But the potential for making items of great power, and lesser powers, too, exists and I find that I cannot stop myself from making the attempts. Still, when I think of other uses for this gold I expend, it gives me pause.
After countless failures, the Lady guided my actions in creating some rings that assist me in conserving energy, allowing me to cast more spells before I tire. They help cast more spells of the first circle only. These rings are of no use to Esimon, who learns his craft; I assume that one must have a natural gift for the arcane to make use of them. Quite a useful trick indeed, and the success in making these rings make me eager to see what else I can learn to do. Already, I envision rings of a similar nature that allow me to conserve even more energy so that I may cast more powerful spells.
-
*date*
I have finally visited Spellguard, to visit the Lady's temple. Hali had told me of it quite some time ago but I had been putting off a visit. I am not sure why. I had no purpose, really, for going and yet it was there that I found myself early one day.
The temple is a beautiful place, and when I entered that morning, I felt a calm, or peacefulness, that I don't think I knew had been missing. I spent a good amount of time there, not really doing anything other than feeling that calm and enjoying the moment. It seemed that I had not been there long when I left, yet the sun had set by the time I emerged. I shall make a point of visiting there more often. It is a place where one can center one's self, and I have found no other place like it.
-
*date*
We had two Drow as guests in our home last night. Kayla and Ael, both perfectly polite and good company. Their presence caused me to more carefully consider my feelings towards Dark Elves, and why they do not trouble me as they do so many other people. For surely, having Drow as guests is not a common occurrence on Mistone.
As a child, I heard the same tales most children heard. Among the most fearsome and memorable tales were those of the Drow. These were often used to scare us into being good, and for the most part, they worked. To this day, I can still recall my father recounting the destruction of Port Hampshire at the hands of the Drow; his telling of it so vivid that you would believe you were there as he spoke the words. So it is no surprise to me that Dark Elves are unwelcome nearly everywhere I have travelled.
So how is it that I do not fear them as once I did as a child? I think it is luck, more than anything.
Annun is the first Drow I ever met, and I did not even know it at first. I had never been the most observant student as a child, and it seems that my travels have done little to remedy that. Still, my ignorance in this turned out to be a blessing, for I came to know her as a person first rather than as a Drow. And in that person, I saw a noble heart, since proven by her actions and her words.
I have little experience with other Drow, though. There was another in the group that attempted the rescue of Carocsa not so long ago. During the short time this group was together, this Drow worked well enough with everyone. Although a bit rash, she did nothing to convince me that all Drow are evil.
As I mentioned, Kayla and Ael were perfect guests, more courteous than most even. I suspect a blind person would never guess them to be Dark Elves.
Given their dark past, full of evil deeds that no doubt grow ever more terrible with each telling, it is not at all surprising that there is a near universal distrust or hatred of all Drow. And perhaps that is as it should be, for who can risk themselves and all they hold dear that this one Drow they have just met is actually of good heart and character? Nevertheless, I will forever count myself lucky that I was just too naive to recognize as a Drow the first one I ever met, and because of that, I believe I am more willing than most to give them a chance to prove themselves.
-
*date*
My knowledge of Mistone has grown sufficiently that I am comfortable travelling most places. My level of comfort on Mistone brought into sharp contrast my lack of knowledge of other lands. Resolved to remedy this, I purchased passage to Hurm on Dregar from a merchant vessel departing Leilon.
I had no goal in mind, other than to become more familiar with Dregar. I had been there three or four times before but never for long and did not easily recall the few places I had visited, being distracted by other matters. Hurm was not overly far from the farm on which I grew up, yet I did not feel a calling to return there just yet. I am certainly a different person now than when I left, and I am not certain if my parents would welcome the person I have become.
Upon arrival in Hurm, I found it much different than the last time I had been there. The first time, Hurm was nigh deserted as its citizens had fled due to the conflict between Mist and Shindelaria. Now, to my untrained eye, Hurm seemed a bustling seaport, though not as large as Leilon or Port Hampshire.
Departing Hurm, I avoided several camps of bandits or pirates (I was not sure which) as I travelled east. The landscaped changed as I moved farther inland, the shore turning into gentle, rolling hills, the hills in turn becoming steep mountains. I found all manners of creatures along the way, from large, fierce, seemingly-crazed men to even larger tigers, to even larger giants. A note about these giants: they appeared even larger and more ferocious than the ones I had seen on Mistone.
I found new plants and trees that I had not seen before. One such type of tree caught my eye, because I had heard Rodlin describe it since he has been seeking such a tree for some time now. It was a grand tree, with a straight trunk and a very dense crown of leaves. When I saw that the leaves were asymmetrical pairs, I thought that I had indeed found mahogany trees. Rodlin would be thrilled to hear the news. He would be less thrilled when I told him of all the giants living near by that will make the collecting of mahogany a difficult task.
After crossing the mountains, I found a large desert. I checked my canteens full, counted them and hoped they were enough. It was a good thing I carried as much water as I did, as the desert was vast and seemed to continue on forever. The desert also contained all sorts of creatures that I made significant efforts to avoid. Scorpions the size of a house, snakes nearly as large, giant ant-like creatures bigger than horses, and giants as large as those I saw in the mountains. The journey in the desert was long, and somewhere along the way, I made the mistake of being seen by one of those giants. There was no chance of running, and even less of talking, as it attacked me immediately. I consider myself fortunate to have emerged the victor.
At the far end of the desert, I found an oasis of sorts -- the city of Saudiria. This city is probably about the size of Fort Velensk back on Mistone, but seemed much larger to me after spending so much time alone in the empty desert. And each day while I was there ended in a wondrous sunset, the sun's rays almost magically transformed by the desert over which it set. I will forever remember the vision of these sunsets.
One other item of special note regarding Saudiria: It was here that I found the temple to Az'atta. I visited it and spoke with some of the clergy within, and was filled with a calm while I was there. It was a peaceful place but it did not give me quite the same feeling as when I visited the Lady's temple in Spellguard. Still, I was quite pleased to have seen it, especially after hearing Annun speak of it, and I hope to go back again some day with her.
The journey back home was long, but not overly dangerous using the knowledge I had gained. I will return to Dregar soon, for this much more to see and learn.
-
*date*
I returned to Dregar to continue my explorations, and this time I had a guide. Or rather, we all had a guide, as Annun knew where silver could be found and we all went. So we took passage from Port Hampshire to Point Harbor, traveled over land from there to Karthy, and another ship from Karthy to Lorindar.
Once in Lorindar, we met an interesting gnome by the name of Giddo Copperhill. I think his surname was Copperhill; I am certain his first was Giddo, however. He seemed quite certain of his own fame, and was not fazed in the least when both Annun and I confessed that we had never heard of him before, apparently attributing our lack of knowledge as a character defect on our part. Nevertheless, he seemed to be a quite agreeable chap. It seems that he, too, has a gift for the Weave, and his skills surpassed my own. I watched him closely throughout the trip, and learned even more of what you can do with the Weave. I did not learn exactly how to do some of the things he did but just knowing that these things are possible means that in time, I should be able to figure out how.
The trip was not without excitement. We stumbled across some of those ant-like creatures I had seen on my previous trip and were forced into a fight. One of them got around the fighters and headed straight for me. This creature was tough; a spell that would have felled an ogre did not stop it, and it was upon me before I could cast another. I did what any right-thinking person in my position would do: I ran, and it chased me. And I kept running, towards the rest of my friends, who by then had finished off the other ant creatures. They tried to kill it as I ran by, but it ignored their blows and continued its pursuit of me. So there I was, running, with this ant creature chasing me, and the rest of my friends chasing it. Finally, I managed to double-back, doding its swings at me as I led it back into the waiting swords of the party, who quickly dispatched it. Annun entitled this new tactic "Chase the Kavil!", but I think I will save this one for only the most dire of circumstances.
Annun led us to the cave that we sought, and inside were many giants, some of whom could cast some dangerous magics. We defeated them and found some thin veins of silver. Unfortunately, even with our expert dwarf doing the digging, only a little silver could be extracted. Disappointing results, but we shall return someday to see if we can find more.
-
*date*
It has been too long since I last visited these pages in this now dusty journal.
I have been away for a long time. The destination of my travels is not important; it was the journey itself that held value for me. I traveled with no destination in mind, and I traveled alone. I missed my friends, and especially Annun, but having no specific goal allowed my mind to wander where it would. And these thoughts came to me.
I have been focused on improving my skills with the Weave, although the rate at which I could better myself has slowed considerably. Being able to work the Weave to create ever greater effects is difficult, and requires extensive practice. And often, I find that if I learn something new, I can no longer remember other things that I had been able to do. This is frustrating, at times, to say the least.
But as my progress in improving my skills with the Weave has slowed, a feeling deep within me grows -- that there must be a purpose for my talents, a reason as to why I have been gifted with these skills, and not some other.
Perhaps it is intended that I cannot better myself. Perhaps the Lady, in Her grace and wisdom, does not want me to learn too much, too quickly. Perhaps She has something in mind for me.
I must find a way to better serve the Lady. Of this, I am now certain. I am confident that I do not have the faith and determination required to pass the tests imposed on initiates to the clergy, nor the discipline to abide by their many rules. There must be some other way to serve Her, and I must find it.
-
*date*
Things change. It is ironic that while I have tried to become an instrument of change, I have at the same time wanted certain things to remain the same. Perhaps it was naive of me to think this could happen, and yet...
I begin to doubt. Perhaps I always should have.
My skill with the Weave grows ever so slowly. Taken alone, this fact would not bother me overly much. However, my search for service to the Lady goes unanswered. I remain convinced that my gift is granted by Her, whether by design or accident I cannot say. But if it were by design, then She seems to have forgotten me. This causes me to doubt.
I have journied with many people, most of them people like me but some of great reknown. Some of these famous figures live up to their reputations...others do not. Some that I have never before met or heard of have greatly impressed me, and I aspire to become as they are. Yet others give me pause, for with some it seems wielding great power makes them less willing to work with others, or for the common good. This, too, causes me to doubt.
Old friends have gone to places I do not know and I miss them. I fear more will follow. There are some very few things in which I have placed my absolute trust, and when that faith is shaken, the world as I see it changes. Some may say I have placed my trust in the wrong places, but I cannot accept that....and yet, this causes me to doubt.
I have lost my way. I no longer know why it is I do what I do. I do not know if what I do means anything, to anyone. I wished to prove myself....and I think I have been found wanting.
-
*date*
My thoughts grow darker of late.
The Lady ignores me, if even She ever knew of me. Although She is the Mother of Magic, perhaps it is not from her I am given this gift. But if not Her, then who? And for what purpose? Surely, power such as this, meager though it might be compared to others, is not an accident.
There is strife between Annun and I, and it will not end well, I fear. I will be even more lost without her.
And so, my thoughts grow darker.
I was in Berhagen mountains yesterday, with Timothy, Annun and a curious elf named Mith. Mith always seemed to have some book open, even as we ran or walked our way through the mountains. How he never tripped I do not know. We crossed paths with a woman named Sabel...Annun said she was a Corathite and would not travel with her, although Mith was willing. I did not know this Sabel but still I trust Annun's judgement despite our differences, and sided with her. Mith left with Sabel, and we crossed paths with them several more times while in the mountains. This Sabel...instinctively, I did not like her but the power she wields is undeniable, and I found it strangely compelling.
It was not long after that I learned that I could kill with but a thought--I did not even have to touch my victim. We were fighting, and I saw one giant had struck Annun from behind and was swinging to strike her again. I was certain she could not get out of the way, and I had no time for a spell, but oh, how I wished for that giant to be dead....and then it fell, its final swing never completed. I was not even sure that it was because of me. But then, I found that with the proper concentration, I could do it again...and again...and again...it was horrifying and exhilirating at the same time.
Smaller creatures are easier to slay than larger ones...the giants in particular seemed to be resistant but even they could be felled at times. Still, this is a new manifestation of power that I did not know I had. My skills with the Weave had seemingly stagnated for so long and while I wished to grow stronger, but I do not think this is the proper way. And yet....
Why could I have not learned a power that could aid people, rather than destroy them? Is this because I crossed paths with a Corathite? Is it because I no longer have faith in what I once held most dear? That I no longer have a calling or sense of purpose? Or is this a manifestation of my true nature?
-
*date*
Realizing that I have too many questions and no answers, I thought it wise to leave Mistone behind for a while. Perhaps distance would help lend some perspective to the problems that await me there if I should return.
And so I found myself in Pranzis again. Although I neglected to record it here, I had met King Waylend sometime ago while in the company of Rodlin, Timothy and a dwarf named Thordan Ironheart, for reasons I shall not go into now. I will note, however, that it was quite obvious that the King and Thordan knew each other well, and held each other in high regard. During the course of that meeting, the King tasked us to investigate some troublesome reports.
In the company of Thordan, Rodlin, Enzo, Dorax, Luna, Esimon, Yashilla and several others, I found myself deep in the Dark Forest at the entrance to a crypt. Although it seemed that the unnatural disturbances that we had been investigating over the past few weeks were diminished, most of us thought it prudent to investigate this crypt as it seemed to be the source of these troubles.
This crypt was a vile place, full of evil undead creatures too horrible to describe. One by one, my companions fell. Thordan and Yashilla revived those they could, and we continued deeper inside. We finally reached a center room, with a trapdoor that led even further down. It was here that Yashilla and Luna and some others refused to go any further. Luna said she had been down there before, and only death awaited whomever went. Dorax and many others were grievously wounded and would not be of any aid even if they could continue. Thordan would not be dissuaded, however, and I would not let him go alone. He descended, followed by Enzo, Rodlin, Esimon and myself.
Esimon and Enzo fell first--and I did not even see what took their lives. Thordan pressed ahead, and I followed. To abandon our cause now would dishonor our fallen companions, and render their sacrifices worthless. He was too brave to be abandoned, and...truth be told, I was not overly concerned with what might happen to me. We encountered even more horrors, worse than those we had seen above, and were overcome. I could not aid him enough, and we both fell.
We awoke some time later -- how long I do not know -- back on the surface, well away from the Dark Forest and that cursed crypt -- I cannot say how. Most of my companions had died as well, and they were there, too. Only Rodlin and one other left the crypt alive. Part of me was relieved to be free from where I had fallen and yet another part of me...did not seem to care. Perhaps death would solve my problems.
As I reflect on what happened, I am troubled by these thoughts:
- yet again, I failed my companions. Thordan, especially, deserved more than I could give.
- I died...and was returned to life by some manner unknown to me. I should want to know how and why...but I do not.
- and perhaps the most troubling -- there is a sensation of freedom granted you when you no longer care. I was nervous following Thordan to meet unknown dangers...but it was not too difficult a thing to do when I realized that I cared little for what might happen to me. Is this some form of bravery? Or despair? I have never counted myself among the brave in this world.
-
I am weary.
I have seen a great many things since leaving Mistone--some wondrous, some horrible. I have seen great power, wielded for both good and evil. Things that should inspire one to great deeds, and yet still I feel a detachment as I wonder about my purpose. Where is the great cause that should give my life meaning? There is the conflict with Blood, of course, and this is no trivial thing for the fate of the world depends on its outcome. But that is fought for survival and not necessarily from passion. And if Blood should win out--my worries will cease, as I will be dead. And if Blood should be defeated--my worries will remain.
Over the course of my travels away from Mistone, I accompanied the group that restored the guardian of Celestia. We had inadvertantly caused the plane to be left unguarded and this was our one opportunity to make amends. Some of the most powerful people of the day were there: Reventage, Rhizome, Remiel, Enzo, Thordan Ironheart and many others, some of whom I knew and many I did not. This group battled its way through many great dangers, and while my powers are weak compared to most, I aided where I could. Our journey took us to Celestia, and it is a beautiful place--Ozymandius' description did not do it justice. But while pleasing to the eyes, my heart was unmoved. Ultimately, we were successful and so Aranna, daughter of Ireth, is now guardian of Celestia.
Thordan Ironheart was part of this group, and once again he proved to have a level head and more courage than most. My mind is at ease in his company, something I have not often felt these past weeks, and I am sure there is much to be learned from him. He can be gruff at times, as befits a dwarf, but I've never seen him withhold aid from one who needed it.
Not long after, I returned to Mistone. The distance that I had hoped would lend perspective, did not. The answers to the problems that plague me, remain.
I happened along a meeting near the Shifter's Tower, where I learned that Blood had a huge navy that threatened Mistone, Dregar and Roldem. The Shifter appeared to us there, and foretold of Blood's invasion of Roldem. Plans were quickly made to warn those we could, including the Queen of Mistone and the King of Dregar. A large contingent travelled to Roldem to warn those we could and secure something valuable to us so as to avoid it falling into Blood's hands. Once in Roldem, we encountered some of Blood's advance troops and had several skirmishes. In the end, we prevailed, although against just the smallest fraction of his army, and escaped to Dregar with our prize. Although I learned much at this gathering, now there are even more questions and information that I need. And the Shifter's vision proved true, as the Queen has announced Roldem's fall.
I had left Mistone some time ago to seek perspective, and perhaps a few answers to my problems. I am not sure if I have found anything that I sought but I have at least reached some conclusions that may help me get by.
I am in pain. Pain is easier dealt with once accepted. Resisting it, fighting it--causes it to increase and makes it uncontrollable. But by allowing it to flow through me, wash over me, become part of me--it can be managed, used even. A part of me dies--part of my spirit--when I allow that to happen but it lets me survive. Only time will tell if that part of me ever returns. But if that day should ever arrive, will I even notice? Will I have become accustomed to a life of pain? What has life become if it is to be measured by the absence of pain?
I have little faith in anything anymore. I did once, and it was then that I had a sense of purpose. But that is now lost....and so am I.
-
*date*
Killing grows easier, and weighs both more and less upon my soul. It should not be so easy to slay another living creature as to do it with little more than a thought, and the fact that I can even do it at all unnerves me. And yet...the ease with which I can do it...the suddeness, the efficiency...the finality of it...somehow satisfies something inside me. I am thankful this ability frightens me but thankful still that I have it.
I find myself using this...talent? skill?...more and more now; so much so that it is nearly a reflex. If I am unpleasantly surprised, it is often my first thought. If I am angered, it is often my first thought and I must restrain myself. But it does not work every time. And my feelings on this are mixed as well. It is frustrating and annoying when it does not work, but my mind is somewhat less burdened in the knowledge that I cannot and will not always kill, regardless of my intent. But are these failures due to a lack of conviction or some flaw in my ability to work the Weave...or could it be a result of some measure of compassion deep within me? Is this a strength or a weakness?
*in a rougher script*
So many questions and no answers!!! I have no answers because I do not know myself!!! How do I find these out? How do I learn who I really am or what I really am? Why would a simple farmer's son be faced with these trials? Why do I torment myself with these thoughts?
*date*
Amidst my travels in search of answers and self-contemplation, I met someone completely unlike me in nearly every measure.
Acacea Thistletounge. Lion-Tamer, Smile-Starter, Griffon-Grappler, Rat-Wrestler, Life-Saver, Bread-Taster...the list of her titles is endless, as are her stories and pranks. To see her is to bring a smile to your face, something I have not done much of recently. I had seen her often in and about Hlint but only recently have I really talked to her and begun to know her, however little.
We have travelled together in a group several times now...she has developed a penchant for saving my life, and does not let me forget it. Why she feels I should be saved is a mystery to me; it must be something she does for everyone she can. After saving me, she often as not gives me pie! She seemingly has a never-ending supply of it.
She is a free spirit--a good soul, full of energy and a love for life, and her enthusiasm is contagious. When I speak with her, she can almost make me forget my troubles. Her smiles and laughter are infectious, and I am sure she brightens the lives of all whom she meets, not just my own. For she seems to know everyone, and to prove it, we played a game where I named just about everyone I knew to see if she knew them as well. And she did--every one.
Her stories are wonderful and fantastic -- I can scarcely make myself believe them all. And in our conversations -- we have talked of many things, regarding both her and me -- she is insightful and perceptive. She helps give things a new perspective, a different way to look at things. She is a keeper of secrets and a holder of knowledge.
Yet like everyone else, she has a past and while I do not know most of it, I can tell she feels sorrow. She was especially close to Aleister, a mage of no small talent whom I did not know, and it is obvious that his recent departure troubles her. Yet, she seems to be able to mostly shake it off. I would help her if I could but I doubt she'd accept, even if there were something I could do.
I find that I have enjoyed our few talks, and hope we have more. I would count myself a friend to her, if she ever needs another.
-
*date*
I awoke. My eyes opened, looked up and saw nothing--the darkness was complete. I lay there on my back, knowing I should sleep but something silent called to me and it would not be ignored. I sprang out of bed, perfectly alert. Gathering my things, I left the house and headed towards Pranzis. At the crest of one hill, I could see the glow of the city over the horizon to the west and I was reminded of something I had heard Brisbane say once: the city had grown too large and nature was rebelling. I briefly wondered if she was right. It did not matter at the moment, though, as the city was not my destination. I would go around it; the call did not come from there.
Time seemingly stood still as I travelled around the city, the lights glowing in the distance occasionally disappearing as I moved through patches of trees. As I walked, the call grew stronger within me. Finally, I was standing in front of a forest and I knew this was my destination. This silent call had turned into a yearning, almost a hunger...and somehow I knew it would only be sated inside the forest. It was time to hunt.
.
.
.
The giant died like all the rest before it. It had been slowly wandering the forest, doing whatever it is that giants do--probably looking for food, I think. He -- she? -- barely even knew I
was there before its life was ripped from its body with little more than a thought from me. I looked around, to be sure there were no others, before I approached the body. I had been surprised before, and now was not the time to let down my guard. I stood above it, staring down into its now almost peaceful but still ugly face. What was its last thought, I wondered, if it had had one at all? This creature, so very large and physically intimidating had been nearly defenseless before me. I turned away from it to continue the hunt.
.
.
.
I emerged from the forest just as the sun began to set. A full day had I spent in there, constantly moving...constantly killing. How many giants fell? Truth be told, I did not keep count. It
mattered not at the time. For as I hunted, everything that troubled me was pushed into the deepest recesses of my mind--not forgotten, no, never forgotten--but it was a reprieve, however slight. I began the long trek back to the house, the call silenced. For now.
-
*date*
Again I awoke into darkness, my eyes staring upwards into nothing. That silent call was present again -- but distant. In my mind's eye, I could see the dead giants I had left behind me the last time I heeded the call, their corpses littered throughout the forest, and an unexpected wave of remorse coursed through me. I closed my eyes and saw that dead giant's vacant eyes staring back at me. I willed myself to ignore them, and to ignore the call...the yearning...I tried to think on different things but other thoughts would not come willingly.
The urgency began to build. My fists gripped the bedsheets as if to hold myself down while energy flowed through my body, demanding release. Instinctively, I knew that to give in to this would be to lose control -- to lose myself in the hunt. The temptation was strong -- if I would just give myself over, my mind would be granted the reprieve from my troubles that it sought. But at what cost?
..and so I fought the urge with all my willpower, if for no other reason than to be obstinate. The easy path is usually not the right one...and I had done nothing to deserve to be free of my problems. My eyes clenched shut against the darkness and conscious thought faded.
-
*date*
Again I awoke but this time not to darkness. A few rays from the sun slipped between the curtains, letting me know that it was past daybreak. I moved to get up and groaned for my body was unexpectedly stiff and sore. And I was still so tired, as if I'd not slept at all. I lay there as I tried to collect my thoughts, and I recalled a dream that had been so vivid...
I had dreamt that I was in the forest...the way ahead of me was so dim that I could barely see and yet I was moving quickly, almost running, as if I knew the path, as if I had been there before--that somehow, I knew there would be no obstruction on it that would cause me to stumble and fall. Behind me, I knew without looking that the blackness was tinged with a crimson glow, as if from the dying embers of a campfire. My strides carried me ever forward. Indistinguishable shapes materialized ahead and beside me as I moved--some were small, some large, some seemed friendly but most were threatening. As I moved past these shapes, all but a very few withered and died, falling to the leaf-strewn ground. And yet I continued forward without looking behind me or glancing to either side, somehow needing to be moving, always moving...to stop was to become nothing. But suddenly, I was forced to halt for there before me was a crevice, darker than the darkest black. I could not see the bottom nor could I see a distant edge. Instinctively, I knew that I needed to jump -- whether to the far edge that I could not see, or to the bottom which I also could not see, I was not sure if it mattered where -- jumping was the only way to keep moving. But something held me back, kept me from deciding. I turned, and realized those formless shapes continued to appear, encircling me, beginning to press against me, forcing me back towards the crevice. Anger stirred within me, and the shapes began to wither again, falling away from me. But now they began to appear more quickly than I could dispatch them, and it was clear that it would only be a matter of time before they forced me down into that darkness -- it was only a matter of time before it would no longer be my decision to make. I grew frantic, my wrath grew stronger still, and for a brief moment I could hold my own. But I also knew that I would not be able to maintain it for long. And then I woke.
I have given this dream some thought but I fear putting those thoughts on paper may somehow give them an import they do not have just yet. I shall hold them to myself for just a bit longer.
I resolved to return to Mistone. The longer I remained on Dregar, the stronger the yearning grew to go to the forest and hunt. I could sometimes resist the call but other times...it is easier to resist when I am with others. I think I am most vulnerable to it when alone. Accordingly, I will seek the company of others; perhaps distance and numbers will allow me to resist this urge.
*date*
Mistone seems smaller to me now. Perhaps it is because I am more familiar with it than any other place I know. Perhaps there is little need for me there anymore. Perhaps some of the memories I have from there are too painful now. Whatever the reason, I have found I have little desire to spend much time there, although there remain good reasons to stay. There is still the defense of Mistone from Blood and his generals and armies...so many people that are worth meeting, even though I know so few.
I visited the Leilon Arms for the first time. I'd heard much about it, particularly from Acacea, and it intrigued me. It really is quite grand, although while I was there it seemed a bit quiet which suited me fine. I met some new people, and saw some others that I knew. All in all, it was a good time and I should like to go back. But despite all this, Mistone did not hold my interest for long and so I found myself longing to return to Dregar. But worse, even across all the leagues that separated Dregar from Mistone, I felt the call again.
*date*
And so I have returned to Dregar again, alone. I stopped at the house but nothing there could hold my interest for long, as the need to be moving was irresistible. I left the house but instead of going to the forest, I went north. Soon I found a young drake, a most fearsome beast, near the bodies of three fallen warriors in the Black Hills. It appeared to me to be kin to dragonkind but perhaps that is only my imagination. Nevertheless, it had killed what looked to be three capable warriors, and was clearly something not to be trifled with. The wise course of action would have been to travel around it but I found that I could not. I would test myself against it. Could it be killed as easily as a giant? For some reason I did not understand, part of me hoped it could not.
I confronted it and it attacked. It let forth a terrible bellows that rang my ears and nearly knocked me down. I let forth a stream of magic energy followed by bolts of fire but it was not stopped. Then it was upon me, its wings beating upon me in a frenzy, raking me with its claws, snapping at me with its maw, the bloodlust evident in its eyes...my wards were all that were saving me and they were already beginning to fail. I reached with my mind for its life, just as I had to countless giants before...I reached then pulled and...nothing! I had hurt it -- it's screams became even more frenzied -- but I had not killed it! A thrill ran down my spine born of the shock of failure but also of hope that this power was not limitless. But this feeling was short-lived because I found myself weakening and falling under the drake's assault. In desperation, I tried again, reaching, hoping, hating...and the beast fell dead at my feet. I stood above it, propped up by my staff as I looked down at it, tired and sore and bleeding. It had died, and I had lived, and...I felt nothing. Why do I not feel anything?
-
*date*
Pain......despair.....hatred.
These are the emotions with which I now live nearly every day and which seem to influence my every action. I find myself quicker to anger, less likely to tolerate the foolishness that I sometimes see. There has been more loss in the last few weeks than I would ever have thought possible -- and over such a short time. I have resisted writing the words that follow -- because to put them on paper makes this stark reality all the more real, and may force me to accept it, as well as make me see that I am not the person that I once might have hoped to be. Three separate losses have I experienced recently, each painful in their own way, one more so than than the rest.
Yar has fallen for the final time. His devotion to his god protected him not at all. Neither did I. I was there when the bugbears attacked, along with Rodlin and Timothy, and I failed him, as did his god. What use are a paladin's vows when no aid is given when it is needed most? We were overwhelmed, and my powers could not match their numbers and ferocity. Yar made a valiant effort trying to hold them away from us and if my skill had matched his courage, he would not have fallen.
I know more of bugbears now. I know, for example, that each bugbear tribe is marked and the markings of this particular tribe that killed Yar is called the Eternal Flame. And I also know that while I live, this tribe will know fear, and death.
It would have been better if I had fallen; Yar was one of the few good souls I knew and the world is poorer for his loss.
I have lost Annun completely. She has suffered loss of her own, and now she is gone. No amount of searching by me or Leva these many weeks has been able to find her. She knows the land too well and will not be found by me if she chooses not to be but still I worry for her. There is a void within me now that I think will never heal. I do not think she knows yet of what happened to Yar and she should hear it from a friend.
Finally, I have heard that Thordan Ironheart has been taken. I did not know him nearly well enough yet I grieve his death. Each time I saw him, he was an example of honor and courage, and somehow I knew that if I could emulate him, in even the simplest things, that I would be a better person. I had harbored thoughts of learning from him -- hoping, perhaps, that honor and courage are attributes that could be taught and are not necessarily innate to the person as I fear they might be. I was indebted to him and still consider myself to be. He brought me back from death twice and I am certain that it was not without great personal cost to him each time. But never did he mention it to me nor did he expect anything in return. As with Yar, Thordan's passing also makes this world a lesser place.
And so I grieve, for those lost to me. I mourn the loss of friendship and companionship. I grieve that the world will not see all they had yet to accomplish, for never will I doubt that great things lay ahead for all of them. But I will learn. I may never achieve greatness, but I will grow in strength so that these things may never happen again, so that those close to me will never be hurt, so that I can protect the ones I love however few they may be. And perhaps someday I will no longer grieve.
Pain......despair.....hatred. Do I have the strength to learn from them, overcome them? Or are these the things that will define me?
-
*date*
I found myself wandering Hlint, feeling a bit out of sorts, when I recalled the song that Acacea had sung to me some time ago. It had been mesmerizing...I have not the words that would do this song justice...it seemed as if she somehow *became* the Weave as she sang. I've never seen or heard anything like it, before or since. I also recalled that she had mentioned a blue flower, found only in Spellguard, when she first sang this song. I decided to go there to see this flower to see what was so special about it.
As I started towards Spellguard, I saw Acacea. After I'd told her what I intended, she informed me that the flower blooms but once a year, and that it had done so already. Although that was disappointing to hear, I thought to still go and she offered to go along, which I happily accepted. We found not the flower but a gathering at the Arcane Tower in Spellguard. It would seem that Rhizome, along with Thordan and Enzo, had been attacked earlier and Rhizome had determined that his assailant was from Spellguard. We learned that a woman named Elanna was likely behind it. Rhizome, along with Brisbane, had gathered a group to investigate.
More clues pointed us to the Wolfswood Forest and so this group travelled there, Acacea and I among them. There, we learned from a nymph that the seven Wolfswood Yew trees transplanted from Voltrex had been destroyed. I do not know Rhizome as I have not seen or talked to him often, but he was quite clearly angered when he learned of this -- angry enough, I think, that he might be tempted to kill when he might not otherwise. Those may have been beautiful trees but otherwise they mean little enough to me. Still, if he decides someone needs to be dead because of what has happened to them...well, that is where my talents seem to lie these days.
We travelled deeper into the forest to find a pentagram etched in the ground. The area around the pentagram was dead...trees withered, grass blackened...with two dead dwarves laying upon two points of the pentagram, two dead deer on two other points, and the final point uncovered. It seemed the pentagram was drawing energy from the surrounding area. Many of us were weakened when standing near it; for some reason, some of us could resist it, at least for a while. Rhizome attempted to pull one of the bodies away but was himself somehow affected -- weakened perhaps. He seemed to recover well enough after a few moments but it is certainly a matter of concern that someone as powerful as he could be affected so. The next time something risky like that must be done, it should be done by someone like me who is not so important as the High Druid.
It would seem this Elanna has somehow developed an ability to draw energy from magical items and the life force of living things. I wonder what could be possible with access to such energy? This will be worth investigating.
Acacea was acting differently this day. She talked often of someone named Athus who she deems to be a great healer -- The Great Healer, actually -- and how she had finally noticed how attractive he was in his white robes (which she apparently did not normally care for but it worked for him) and what a great person he was. Acacea seemed quite taken with him. Really, for someone who had before told me that love was such a silly thing, she seemed to have changed her opinion quite quickly. I found it somewhat...odd...that she should change like this seemingly overnight but I suppose love can make people behave differently. It should be interesting to see how her relationship progresses.
She'd also mentioned that she had sung that song again -- the one of the Weave -- but this time with Alantha who sang a different song at the same time. An interesting coincidence that their duet should happen just before Acacea became smitten with this Athus, and even more so since Acacea mentioned some others that seem to have developed similar feelings for each other after those two had sung. I suspect this may not be a coincidence, after all. She will bear some watching, I think.
-
*date*
The group gathered in Wolfswood again to continue the investigation of this Elanna. Katrien had lead a group to the Great Library and learned that Elanna was the name of the thrice-born queen of the Azhurte, an outcast elven tribe that somehow refused to join the current age. And from Elanna's sister, Brisbane and Rhizome learned that the Azhurte had warred with the dwarves in the distant past, and it appeared Elanna intended to continue that war in the present.
Seems the yew trees that had been cut down had been created and used to make weapons that are especially effective against dwarves. We examined their remains, and I could tell that the tree's sap had been magically altered into something...vile, evil. Merely being in its presence caused me and some others some pain.
We then traced Elanna to a cave in the swamp outside Karthy, and after some bit of adventuring, discovered her bound within flames at the bottom of this cave. She was somehow channeling, or was being used to channel, a stream of magical energy and it was obvious that she was in pain. Surprisingly -- to me, at least -- she called to Toran for aid.
After much effort, Klaugrene, Rhizome and Brisbane managed to free her, and we were forced to flee the cave as it began to collapse. Outside the cave, Elanna claimed to be a paladin of Toran that had been imprisoned by...herself. The first incarnation of herself, an evil incarnation -- the one that was behind the attacks earlier. To prevent the first incarnation from achieving singularity -- and the power to destroy the dwarves - Elanna said she must be killed. Again, for she had lived once a very long time ago. She asked Klaugrene, another paladin of Toran, to do the deed. He hesitated...but he did it. Time will tell if it was the right thing to do, although after the deed was complete, a light shone down on Elanna's body and then Klaugrene's. Perhaps that was a sign of approval from Toran, perhaps not -- I do not understand the ways of gods, especially that one.
The remains of the yew trees still bear further investigation and it must be decided what will be done with them. As well, I do not know what became of the first incarnation of Elanna with the death of the second.
*date*
In my room, I found a note from Annun today and my worries for her are eased slightly as I know she still lives.
*date*
Visited the Leilon Arms again. Somewhat to my surprise, I have found it to my liking. It is a place to meet new people and old friends, and perhaps to forget your worries for a short while. Jharl, the proprietor, seems to be a friendly sort, quick with a smile and even quicker with an ale. I begin to see some of the same faces there and it is somehow comforting. To converse with others, even over trivial matters -- maybe because they are trivial -- is a pleasant diversion to keep me from other thoughts that I do not care to dwell on but cannot seem to ignore.
As the evening grew late, most patrons had left until it was only Acacea, Kali, Derrick and myself remaining. Acacea challenged Kali to another game of coins, for she had lost her title of coins champion to Kali only a week or so earlier and seemed eager to reclaim it. They needed someone to pour drinks and keep score, and as Derrick was more in the mood for drinking than pouring, that duty fell to me.
So I found myself behind the bar, pouring drinks and watching Kali trounce Acacea again -- this contest was not as close as the last one I'd seen between them, although it did take longer, and somewhere along the way Derrick passed out on a nearby couch. To her credit, Acacea improved with each drink so perhaps she might have won if the contest had been first to 25 instead of first to five as they'd agreed. After these two contests, though, I begin to wonder if Acacea had only been champion because Kali had been absent.
As the contest neared its inevitable conclusion, in walked a hooded and cloaked figure. Although I had not seen her in a long time, I knew that it was Annun. She was quiet, withdrawn -- not the Annun I have known. Knowing it was not a good time but thinking there never really would be, I told her of Yar's passing but she had already known. I had hoped that she could have heard it from a friend but apparently that was not to be. She did not stay long and did not say when I might see her again.
Acacea and Kali had finished their match and were looking for something else with which to entertain themselves, but ... I could stay at the Arms no longer. My thoughts and attention were no longer there. I took my leave of them and travelled to Dregar. There..*the tail of the "e" is extended and ends in a blot, as if the quill had rested there for a period of time*
*the next few lines are repeatedly lined out as to be illegible*
After leaving the forest behind me, I visited the spot where Yar had fallen. Some daisies grew there now. I stood there for a little while, thinking on some of the things we had done together. When I could not bear to think any longer, I left -- I could sense the Eternal Flame near. They would not see me until too late.
-
*date*
The dream came to me again.
The dark forest surrounded me as I moved forward. I was advancing quickly, not quite running but not walking, either. I was searching for something that lay ahead of me, something I needed, something I wanted. The trees with their leaves hanging limply from their branches flowed past me, as if they were the ones moving and not I. The path on which I travelled was soft, smooth, strewn with fallen leaves. As before, the forest was murky, gloomy -- but still I progressed, again somehow knowing the path would be clear. I glanced behind me once to see that the footsteps I left behind were tinged with a dim, reddened glow.
Those shapes began to appear again, ahead of me, beside me, behind me. Nearly all were indistinguishable from each other -- merely formless, vaguely threatening shapes that began to close in as soon as they formed. Some, as they neared me, withered and fell to the ground. Others drew closer still. I thought to stop them but despite the unease I felt, I hesitated, curious perhaps -- wanting to know what would happen. Then one touched me and a burning flash of pain exploded within me. My anger flared and those closest to me erupted in obisidian flames, burnt to ashes that slowly drifted down to the ground. But I did not notice, for I had let them get too close and I could not stop them now. A second struck me, followed closely a third, and I was nearly blinded from the agony of their touch. A pitch-black flash burst from me, incinerating those shapes closest, giving me space and again opening the path ahead. Quickly, I began to move as the pain slowly subsided into a dull ache, my eyes searching ahead, watching yet more shapes form.
But here and there, scattered among all these things, some very few would softly glow with warmth, like the glow of candlelight from a window on a dark, wintry night. These few lights felt like promises -- of kindness? warmth? comfort? hope? -- but they would not come closer as the dark shadows tried and I could not bring myself to attempt to approach them. Every now and then, one would burn brighter momentarily before fading back to a soft glow.
I continued down the path, with but a thought incinerating anything that approached, now certain of their threat. Suddenly, I tripped and found myself sprawled along the path. What had once been a smooth path, and somehow known to me, was now rough and strewn with old, dead branches and dried grasping roots. I picked myself up, somewhat shocked as I saw the changed path but not comprehending why. Something intrinsic within me had known the path but now that was gone. The gloomy trees around me now seemed foreboding, malevolent. Those threatening shapes held themselves at bay, waiting, perhaps watching as they slowly formed a wall behind me. There would be no going back. I stood there, looking at the way ahead, knowing I must continue.
And then I woke.
I looked up into the darkness of the room, staring. It would be long before I slept again.
-
*date*
I have been fortunate in the little time I have been spending on Mistone to cross paths with Annun on a few occasions. Each time I see her, she seems to be more herself and this gladdens me. It was through one of these chance meetings that I met Lalaith. A small group, Lalaith and Annun among them, were planning a raid against some kenkus to exact revenge for a perceived slight to Owen's hat. *written in the margin are the words "Owen claims to have a talking hat--I need to see that"* Once they learned I had some skills that would make this raid a bit easier, they invited me along to Rilara with them.
The raid was successful, and revenge exacted Owen's behalf. The group dispersed but Lalaith and I remained to talk for a while. We learned a little of each other; she is a trove of knowledge but quiet and hesitant to speak of what she knows. It seemed to me that she has a troubled spirit.
Perhaps one of the more remarkable abilities that Lalaith possesses is the ability to become one with the shadows. She can blend with the shadows and disappear even as you watch her; it is truly amazing, and something I have never seen before. I know a way to pierce those shadows but that makes her uncomfortable, and so I try not to do that when she is around.
She said she had a feeling about me, although she did not elaborate on it. I often wonder what it is that caused her to tell me that. But I have a feeling about her, too; one that it is hard to put a name to. I think she needs a friend, someone to trust. Perhaps I can find a way to show her she can trust me.
-
*date*
I watched the bugbears of the Eternal Flame move about their camp. The sentries had not seen me, for this time I had decided they should not. I often chose to attack them from within their camp because the surprise was more complete, their looks of fear -- for I had learned that they do fear -- more sudden and more satisfying to me. On a few occasions, I would first attack the sentries, allowing the rest of them to prepare and arm themselves. I still am not sure if I did this to give myself more of a challenge or to give them the illusion that they had a chance against me. To see the hope in their eyes fade into despair as they died was a cruel thing but I found it satisfying.
So I stood amongst them as I had many times before, watching them. Some would argue over whatever filth they were eating, others engaged in some crude games of chance that I did not understand, still others tended to their weapons and armor. I do not know what I looked for as I watched and after a short while, decided it was time. As I had done so many times before, I reached for the Weave and a searing burst of light lit the camp. Perhaps half of them fell to the ground blinded, their hands clutching their heads. The others reacted slowly at first, surprised to suddenly see me standing amidst them where before there had been no one. Their surprise turned to anger as they reached for the closest weapons and charged. I brought fire down upon them, scorching and killing most of them. In the distance, I saw their shaman trying to cast a spell of his own. I formed the Weave around him into a fist that crushed him and brought him down. Some others were close enough to strike me but my wards turned their blows back against them, killing them. The sentries, safe from my initial onslaught, came running towards me and I turned to them. One by one I reached for them with my mind and each fell dead to the ground. As suddenly as the fight had begun, it was over. I carefully walked around, checking each before being satisfied that they were all dead.
Again, I stood in the middle of their camp now watching the stilled bodies around me. So many of them...these I could now add to the countless others I had slain before. That slow, cold burning anger that had raged within me since Yar's death remained but there was something else -- another feeling that had been growing stronger of late. I had ignored it but could no longer -- I was tired of this relentless killing. How many more must I kill to sate my anger? Is there a limit? All this death and nothing seems to have changed.
A movement in the trees caught me eye. A lone bugbear, staring at me. It turned and ran. I considered for a moment the way I wanted it to die...but then did nothing. I watched it run until I could see it no more. Then I left.
-
*date*
I write this long after these events occurred but the memories of them still burn brightly in my mind.
The group met at Moraken's tower. So many people...some of whom I knew, most I did not. There was Reventage, the Harper of Ilsare...Triba Gues, ambassador to Voltrex...Plenarius Ashaley, the Bird Lord and Eyes of Katia...Ozymandius, the powerful and knowledgeable bard but one I do not trust...Kobal Bluntaxe, a hearty dwarf of whom I had but passing knowledge...Talan Va'lash, the best archer I had ever seen...his sister, Lalaith, who could become one with the shadows...Lia Di'makiir, a wizard of some power and a leader of the Arcane Guild--and one who apparently has had some dealings with Xandrial in the past...Alantha, a Drow sorceress whose powers far surpassed my own...Athus, priest to Aeridin...Michaelis and Synal'dur, both powerful paladins of Toran...Brac'ar, a dwarven wizard....Connor Garvill, the first sorceror I had ever met and another powerful within the Arcane Guild...Bil, a goblin and I think a wizard...and others, too many more to list. I tried and failed to fool myself into believing I belonged among them and yet I could not make myself leave--for some reason I had a need to be part of this, however insignificant my role might be.
Moraken spoke of Shifter's Necklace and how he'd chased and fought Xandrial across the planes. He thought he'd killed Xandrial then, but did not find the necklace. Moraken thought it possible that Xandrial had traded the necklace to another demon, Amarandbrone, Lord of the Layers of Waermalsavarian. I had no idea where this was or even what it meant, other than it could not be good. The only way to know for certain, according to Moraken...was to ask Xandrial himself. And so the group left to do just that and more. We would retrieve this necklace wherever it might be.
Reventage afforded everyone the use of the portal within her house in Hlint and the group made its way to Arabel. The journey to Xandrial's fortress was not without incident but we encountered nothing that was too difficult to overcome. I did not know the path to Xandrial's fortress and was content to follow those who did. Along the way, Kobal shared with us a vision he'd had concerning Xandrial. According to the vision, Xandrial wanted to return to rule the plane in the Abyss from which he'd come...but could not because he had been forced out by another demon, one stronger than him. But also in that vision was the knowledge that Xandrial knew we were coming.
As we approached the Demon Mountains in which lay Xandrial's fortress, we began to battle ever more dangerous opponents. Demons the likes of which I'd never before seen -- maraliths, snake-like creatures with six arms that each held a sword; giant spider demons; succubi; large winged blue demons. There were fire giants, too, that were unlike any other giants I had ever seen. These fire giants were larger, more powerful and some could rain fire from the skies upon us. These battles became much more difficult and I do not think we would all have survived without the healing magics of Athus, Plenarius, Reventage and others.
Finally we reached the base of the mountain to Xandrials keep. There was no obvious path up; it would be a climb. But the very rocks oozed blood as if the mountain itself were bleeding. I did not want to think on what could cause a mountain to bleed.
More demons awaited us outside the fortress entrance but they were defeated. We prepared ourselves then entered Xandrial's keep. Disaster struck! The most terrible demons awaited us inside--demons of such hatred and power beyond my imagination. The battle that was waged was most terrible and many of us fell. We were cornered just inside the entrance and at a disadvantage. My spells did not seem to help much in deciding the outcome but our group eventually prevailed. Athus and Reventage brought back from death's grip those that they could. We carried the others outside and back down the mountain so that we could recover and reorganize. It seemed to me that a frontal assault like the one we had just attempted would not work but no one knew of another way.
Then Kobal found help. At that time, who or what helped us was not clear to me...but suddenly we seemed to be on a plane of shadows of some sort. We could see our surroundings but it seemed that none could see us. We travelled through Xandrial's fortress in this state passing by countless demons of unimaginable strength but none saw us. When we reached another level in the fortress we passed from this plane of shadows and back into our own.
We fought our way forward until we found ourselves standing before Xandrial, who was far and away the largest demon I have ever seen. Even I, who has no feel for these things, could feel the evil that emanated from him. Xandrial offered us a deal. He was ready to return to his home in the Abyss and required us to clear the path for him. His task for us: clear the path to Amarandbrone. When this demon was hurt, Xandrial would arrive to finish him. In return, he would give us Shifter's necklace and allow us to live. If we chose not to aid him, he would take our souls then and there. There was little to discuss and our decision was clear.
I find it difficult to put into words the things I saw in the Abyss...and so I will not. I fear I will never forget the memories of what I have seen there no matter how much I wish to and writing of what I saw will not help with that. I will note only that I wish never to return there.
In the end, though, we faced the demon Amarandbrone and his lieutenants. Soon after, Xandrial arrived as he said he would. He pulled the necklace we sought from Amarandbrone's body and held it before us for what seemed an eternity...and then handed it to Lia. Chaos erupted then, with demons fighting demons and Xandrial laying waste to all before him. A portal appeared and we jumped through it to escape, finding ourselves back in Arabel.
We'd accomplished what we sought and Xandrial was gone. I had hoped we would retrieve the necklace... but to imagine Xandrial gone had never crossed my mind. If he truly was gone, then Blood had been weakened. What we had done was a good thing, an important thing. Perhaps, finally, I have been part of something that will matter to the world.
-
*date*
A letter in a beautiful script but with no signature received. Although I do not think I could forget the words within it, I record them here.
A moment, an hour, a day, a week
Time passes and he loses sleep
Something develops where imagination lies
This something she saw it, in his eyes.
A small power if fostered would grow in time
Something within, but so out of line
What do you see when you close your eyes?
Is it something beyond where imagining lies.
-
*date*
Rodlin and I were in Lorindar, having just returned from a short adventure on Xantril. Near the docks we nearly stumbled over poor little Millie, perhaps the second quickling to whom I have spoken (some have named these curious creatures brownies but I have heard they prefer to be called quicklings and so I shall). She had just had a rather unfortunate experience with some giants on Xantril and she sought help in returning to where she had fallen.
When I asked her what had happened, Millie told me that she likes to draw maps, and especially maps of places she had never before seen. So she travels about, here and there, and maps the places she goes. Normally, she keeps herself hidden while travelling and mapping and avoids trouble that way but this time, however, it seems one of the giants noticed her. In her words, the last thing she saw was a huge foot coming down on her.
Rodlin had business elsewhere so I agreed to accompany her back to Xantril, for it would not be safe for her to go alone. The passage by ship was uneventful and we were soon in Arabel. We swiftly made our way through that blighted city and into the wilderness beyond, and I used the Weave to keep us hidden from unfriendly eyes. The journey to where Millie had fallen did not take too long; we arrived and she
recovered while I watched the many giants milling about, trying to discern which one might have killed her. We left and returned to the docks in Arabel to seek passage back.
Millie thanked me for my help as we looked for a ship that would be departing soon. She even apologized for not being able to pay me for my aid with gold, although I would not have accepted any from her. She did give me some blueberries instead, which I thought to be far more valuable than any coin she might have offered for it was a kind gesture. It did not take overly long to find a ship that was headed to Karthy, where she wanted to go. Before she boarded, I gave her a few coins so that she would not be without and bade her farewell, telling her I would find a different ship as Karthy was not where I needed to be.
I watched the ship leave, with her waving to me from it. I watched it leave until I could see her no more and then I left the docks. Cloaking myself with the Weave, I returned again to where Millie had fallen, my heart slowly growing colder as I walked. Millie seemed ingenuous and innocent to me; whether that be true or not, I did not want her to see anything that might change that. I did not want her to see what I was about to do.
The many giants were still there and I hoped that the one who had slain Millie was among them. I set my wards and then unleashed the power of the Weave upon them. Fire and lightning ripped through the air burning and blinding them. Bolts of magical energy flew from my fingers at every giant I could see. Those giants that could still see ran to me with hatred in their eyes, but theirs could not match my own. I set about, striking those that I could with my staff and the battle grew ever more chaotic as I tried to duck their blows while weaving amongst these monsters. At some point in the battle, I became a giant among giants, exchanging blow for blow with them, killing them as they sought to do the same to me. Before too long, the battle was over and I surveyed this glade I was in. The signs of battle were all around me -- charred grass, scorched bushes and trees, blood-spattered leaves, giant bodies strewn about -- but I knew the glade would in time recover and there would soon be no sign that I had ever been there.
With a final look around, I slowly began the journey back to Arabel and then to Dregar.
-
*date*
Past, present, future. Three cards drawn from a deck of sixty can purportedly give one a glimpse of the past, present and future. Some consider this no more a parlor trick that at best is entertainment; the less forgiving and cynical might call it a fraud that only parts fools from their money. And yet others believe in the power of these cards when the one reading them has the proper gift.
Three readings have I had. All have been unsettling. And all have been given by Kali, the gypsy elf at the Leilon Arms who, among her many talents, I now believe has such a gift. Kali is like no other elf I have met; there is something about her -- her hair is a fiery red that I have never before seen on an elf but that is not what sets her apart. It is her eyes -- her emerald eyes that can see things in you that you may not know yourself. Eyes that seem to know more than you think they could. She is uncanny in her ability to bewilder me with the things she says and does.
The first reading happened at the Arms. I had seen Kali give many readings that day, and nearly all of those who received them left looking pleased. Despite that, I had no desire for her to read cards for me. The situation between Annun and I seemed to be resolving itself in a manner both surprising and pleasing to me. I wished for nothing that might indicate that could change. Nonetheless, as Kali and Annun can both be persuasive, I soon found myself sitting in front of her with three cards lying face down on the table between us.
One at a time, Kali turned them over. The first card represented the past and was turned to reveal the High Druid. The second, representing the present, was turned to be the Fool. As was the third, which represented the future. Acacea seemed quite amused at the double appearance of the Fool.
According to Kali, in the past I had searched for knowledge and wisdom, possibly finding it in a relationship. But now I was on a path of impulsive actions and rash decisions -- and it appeared that I would remain on this path into the future.
One never likes being called a fool, whether it is true or not, and even less likes to learn that he will continue to be the fool. Both Kali and Acacea tried to make light of this, each in their own way. I did not believe these cards and yet I was bothered by them. Deny it all I might, there was a ring of truth to the telling that I could not admit to myself at the time. After all, these were just cards, were they not?
Fate has since shown me that this first reading spoke of Annun and me. I have learned much from Annun. The love we shared was not one I had sought and perhaps that made it all the more special to me. But time separated us for a while and she found another. That was a difficult time that left me changed. Yet fate seemed to make amends, or so it seemed, for when the one she had found was lost, Annun and I eventually found ourselves together again.
The second reading was just as unexpected as the first. Kali was in Hlint this time when our paths crossed. Somehow, the topic of card readings came up and this time she convinced me that a second reading may show something different from the first. She claimed the readings grew more accurate as the cards came to "know" the one for whom they were being read. Thinking that another reading surely could not be more troubling than the first, I reluctantly agreed.
Again I sat before her and again three cards were laid face down between us. As before, she slowly revealed each card in turn, explaining what they might mean. The card for the past was the Lovers, indicating that in the past I had been in a good relationship -- one that was not difficult or bad, in the beginning at least. Shifter's Tower was the card revealed for the present and told of unexpected interruptions, something unexpected and unlucky. The final card was revealed to be the Judgement of the World; Kali explained that in its orientation, it represented loss and separation.
This second reading was no more comforting than the first; rather, it seemed to tell again that my future would not be the one for which I hoped; that it would not be one of peace or good fortune but of loss and separation. This second reading happened as I was beginning to believe in a promising future. But fate remains capricious, for just as I began to believe in this, the unimaginable happened. A miracle was wrought by a priest of Aeridin, Athus, when he somehow managed to banish the Soul Mother from the world for a period of time. This blessing, which resulted in so much good for the people of this world, had a cruel edge to it. In her absence, those taken permanently by the Soul Mother could now return. The one taken from Annun was loosed from the Soul Mother's grip and returned to the living.
Annun and I had mended our relationship. Once I thought her gone only to find her back in my life, forever I had hoped. We had talked of a future together and what it might hold and I foolishly began to believe. But she is gone again, having twice now chosen another over me. One time I could forgive but twice...twice has left me as I am...as the fool that Kali had seen.
I left all that I knew behind me. Any obligations I felt to others were washed away. I left unsure whether I would return or not. I wandered in solitude for weeks, seeking nothing and no one. All that I had done in the past seemed meaningless. And yet...after an unknown time and without realizing it, I found myself back in places that I knew and among people who knew me. I returned knowing only this: my future would not be as I had hoped; I realized that hope only sets one up for disappointment.
The third and final reading happened once again at the Arms. the evening was winding down until only Kali, Acacea and I remained. Acacea was learning how to give readings and so convinced Kali to give us both readings. Acacea was first and of course had quite a positive reading--perhaps it is her outlook on life that influences which cards appear for her. Then it was my turn. The first two cards--the Mage followed by the Water Elemental -- told of confusion in my past and chaos in my present. But the final card -- the one that purportedly tells of the future -- was revealed to be the Angel and the Lion and indicated strength and resolve. But this has most certainly not come to pass yet.
And so I find myself in the now, not wanting to consider the future and yet unable to prevent myself from doing just that. I exist but there must be more to life than that. I need purpose, a reason to exist. I thought I had that in Annun but that is not to be. In truth, bitter as it is to admit, it was foolish of me to believe that it could be.
I could have grown to be my father's son and tended a farm to my dying days as he will and as his father did before him but that path could never have been mine. I have abilities beyond anything I ever imagined as a child. I once thought this a gift, perhaps even one from the Lady of Magic. But the purpose of this gift -- if really it is a gift -- eludes me still. What is the source of my talents? Perhaps in the finding of the answer to that question, I will find why.