The World of Layonara
The Layonara Community => General Discussion => Topic started by: Vyris on July 22, 2005, 06:12:00 PM
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Alright everyone... Favorite Monty Python skit!
Mine is in the "Holy Grail" when the bard is following 'brave' Sir Robin around and actually being honest in the songs he sings
*Chuckles*
Vyris
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Hee hee! :) My personal favorite is King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table consulting Brother May-Nard and the Book of Armaments.
"Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that Thou might blow thine enemies to tiny bits...in thy mercy!"
Hee! :)
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A WITCH!!!
We've found a witch, may we burn her?
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And what do we burn beside witches?
MORE WITCHES!!!!
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Two of my favorites:
We are now... no longer the Knights Who Say Ni!
We are now the Knights Who Saaaaaaaaaay!! Ekke ekke ekke ptang zoo boing!
And who doesnt love the scene where the guy is talking about systems of government.
And the scene where Lancelot keeps charging those two guards over and over again until BAM! And he goes on a evil killing spree.
Or "Bring out yer dead!" and "I feeeeeel Happy! I feeeeel happy! Ooof!!"
And....Oh forget it. I love that whole movie and cant decide my favorite scene.
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Dorganath - 7/22/2005 9:53 PM
And what do we burn beside witches?
MORE WITCHES!!!!
She turned me into a newt!
A newt?
Well......it got better.
hehehe
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And winter turned to spring. And there was much rejoicing. Then spring turned to summer and summer to fall and fall to winter again. Food was scarce and they were forced to eat Sir Robin's minstrels. And there was much rejoicing. Then winter turned to spring and spring skipped summer and fall entirely and went directly back to winter again.
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I'm all over the holy hand grenade part...
"And the Lord did grin, and people did feast on lambs, and sloaths, and carp, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruitbats...""
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And who can forget the tower full of women vs the erhm... was it Lancelot?
"You can't take them all"
"No, really, I think I can..."
Ah... what a good movie, what about the series though?
Spam spam spam spam eggs and spam, spam and spam..
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My favorite is the Flying Circus with the Spanish inquisition
"NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!"
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The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king!
Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcicial aquatic ceremony!
Be quiet!
Oh but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!
SHUT UP!
Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bink lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
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Look look He's repressing me!!
Its the violence inherent in the system!!
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This....is an EX-Parrot.
*tap tap tap*
HELLOOOO POLLY!!!!!
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Gah.. *covers her ears and shakes her head*
too much Monty Python!!
*runs and hides*
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Dorganath - 7/22/2005 8:22 PM
This....is an EX-Parrot.
*tap tap tap*
HELLOOOO POLLY!!!!!
No its not. Hes just pineing for the fjords
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Lalaith Va'lash - 7/22/2005 8:24 PM Gah.. *covers her ears and shakes her head*
too much Monty Python!!
*runs and hides*
Is there such a thing?? If we could suspend the plot for one day on Layonara we could have a Monty Python quest and just all be silly. we could make holy hand grenades from Holy water and just ro around blowing the bejeexus out of rabits, weasles, badgers... and of course the swallows... european or african, you pick. Vyris
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*Gets quest idea*
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Vyris - 7/22/2005 8:28 PM Lalaith Va'lash - 7/22/2005 8:24 PM Gah.. *covers her ears and shakes her head*
too much Monty Python!!
*runs and hides*
Is there such a thing??
There is definately no such thing as too much Monty Python. And i think the two swallows grasped the coconut by the husk. Oh and they were definately African.
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Yeah, but African Swallows are non-migratory.
Besides, it's not a matter of where he grips it. It's a simple matter of weight ratios.
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Stop it stop it, this has gotten entirely too silly
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Variable - 7/22/2005 11:06 PM
Stop it stop it, this has gotten entirely too silly
...which leads us down the hall to the Ministry of Silly Walks. ;)
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Oooh, a pointy stick...
This is a lesson on how NOT to be seen...
Just a wafer...
I think I could handle a little peril...
Always look on the bright side of life...
Oh, I'm sorry, this is Abuse, you want Arguments, it's down the hall...
Deirdre, that's my wife...
Wood! Small rocks! Lead, lead! Churches! No, not churches... a Duck!!!
Three shall be the number of counting, and the number of counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count; neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number, be reached...
I could go on forever. I really could.
*goes in search of the Holy Grail DVD*
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Variable - 7/22/2005 7:14 PM
Look look He's repressing me!!
Its the violence inherent in the system!!
How do ye know he's a king? ;)
Definitely my favorite skit as well. Took me back to my cival rights marching days.
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Variable - 7/22/2005 10:34 PM Vyris - 7/22/2005 8:28 PM Lalaith Va'lash - 7/22/2005 8:24 PM Gah.. *covers her ears and shakes her head*
too much Monty Python!!
*runs and hides*
Is there such a thing??
There is definately no such thing as too much Monty Python.
*Hiding in the corner*
There IS such a thing!!!
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*tosses Lal a Greater Sanctuary scroll*
Hmm, actually I'll have to agree...
You guys ever tried a Monty Python marathon weekend with your friends and walked around the town after that? I think the people seeing you would agree that there's such a thing as too much... :)
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IDii - 7/23/2005 12:00 AM
*tosses Lal a Greater Sanctuary scroll*
Hmm, actually I'll have to agree...
You guys ever tried a Monty Python marathon weekend with your friends and walked around the town after that? I think the people seeing you would agree that there's such a thing as too much... :)
NEVER!! I won't admit it!! ;)
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"NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise....
Our two weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency....
Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...
and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope....
Our four... no...
Amongst our weapons... Amongst our weaponry...
are such elements as fear, surprise..."
The spanish inquisition sketch has got to be my favorite flying circus sketch.
"So you think you are strong because you can survive the soft cushions. Well, we shall see. Biggles! Put her in the Comfy Chair!"
On a related note, has anyone seen Fawlty Towers with John Cleese? They have reruns on BBCAmerica. That show is really funny too.
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Would sir care for a waffer thin mint?
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Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!
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Yur father ees a haamster and yur mother smells of elderberries
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Eric Idle: Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down at the mill, and pay the mill owner for the priviledge to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing "Hallelujah."
Michael Palin: But you try and tell the young people today that... and they won't believe ya'.
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Such a thing as too much Monty Python?
Ni!!!
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-What if we build a huge wooden badger...
-It would be sort of daft to guard a guard...
-LOOK AT THE BONES!!!
-Can I have just a little peril? No! it's far too perilous!
-Can I have your liver?
-I'm afraid it's scientific experiments for the lot of you?
-So! Is there anyone else who has something better to do than my little game of marching up and down the square??!!?
-All right ... all right ... but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order ... what HAVE the Romans ever done for US?
And of course... The Lumberjack song =D
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My all time favorite:
Roman coaches the crowd: "You're all individuals."
Crowd responds: "We're all individuals."
One guy in crowd raises his hand: "I'm not."
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Hey? Wink wink, nudge nudge, y'know what I mean, say no more?
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Sorry, s'going to be a bit long but it's my favorite...that and for some odd reason the Haren duel on the docks :s ;)
Dead Parrot Sketch
The cast:
MR. PRALINE
John Cleese
SHOP OWNER
Michael Palin
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The sketch:
A customer enters a pet shop.
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Owner: We're closin' for lunch.
Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
show...
(owner hits the cage)
Owner: There, he moved!
Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
Owner: I never!!
Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!
Owner: I never, never did anything...
Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?
Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Owner: No no! 'E's pining!
Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
(pause)
Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
we're right out of parrots.
Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Owner: I got a slug.
(pause)
Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?
Owner: Nnnnot really.
Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)
Mr. Praline: Well.
(pause)
Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?
Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.
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Oh lest see here....
The Cheese Shop
Simpsons String
The Book shop
Wink Wink Nudge Nudge
The dead Grandma they coudlnt decide weather to bury, dump or eat. LOL
How dissarm an assialant who comes at you with a piece of fruit.
The man with all his pets named Eric (and Eric the Half a bee song)
Spanish Inquisition
The Lumberjack Song
Paying for an argument
Those are all good ones
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*groans* For the love of all.. can't we just let this thread die in peace?
*wanders off to find a greater sanctuary scroll for when it starts up again*
-LV
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In Life of Brian, when Pontius Pilate takes Brian captive.
Pilate: Got youwself into a wittle trwouble, did you? You Jewish Wat Scallion.
Brian: My dad was a Roman.
Pilate: Your dad was a woman?
Brian: No, no, a Roman!
Pilate: Stwike him Centurion, quite woftly!
Pilate: What was his name?
Brian: Naughtius Maximus sir, from the Jerusalem Garrison.
*soldiers laughing*
Pilate: Do you know someone by that name Centuwion?
Centurion: No sir.
Pilate: Well you seem quite sure of yowself.
Centurion: It's a joke name sir, like Silly Asaurus, or Biggus Dickus.
Pilate: Biggus Dickus did you say? I happen to have a good fwiend in Wome by that name.
*stifled laughing*
Pilate: What is so funny?! Does anyone feel like a wittle giggle, when I mention my fwiend....BIGgus DICKus?!
*soldier laughs hysterically*
Pilate: Off with him! I want him fighting wabid animals in a week!
All three of the Monty Python movies I've seen ("Life of Brian", "The Holy Grail", and "The Meaning of Life") are freaking hilarious. There's so many great skits, it's hard to name all of them I love. The "Live Organ Transplant" bit from "The Meaning of Life" is great. "Can we have your liva?" "Uhhh....I'm kinda usin' it....".
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Ohh, and sorry Lal, I had to voice mine too lol.
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There is such a thing as too much... Hehe...
*plays with the delete thread button* Wonder if Monty Python had anything about trigger happy IDii... hehe, maybe not. Scary thought. ;)
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They did make a song about Finland )-
*runs away grinning*
:)
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Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more--no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."
Monty Python is not just funny it can also be useful. Once I was reviewing an article that was supossed to be between 2½-3 pages, but the author had written 5 pages. My only comment to that was the above quote.
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This has to be my favourite Monty Python scene, the logic is just stunning ;)
Sir Bedevere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
Peasant: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant: Burn them.
Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant: More witches.
Peasant: Wood.
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant: ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant: Bread.
Peasant: Apples.
Peasant: Very small rocks.
Peasant: Cider.
Peasant: Gravy.
Peasant: Cherries.
Peasant: Mud.
Peasant: Churches.
Peasant: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck.
Sir Bedevere: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Sir Bedevere: And therefore...
Peasant: ...A witch!
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OK im English as English as you can get
Family gos back year and years....
I like Fish and chips and Puddings I have dinner at 12:00 NOT LUNCH cuz that’s for puffs
When im drunk im Pissed, and Cricket is sport I understand.
Now Monty Python was a long long time ago and in England you can go to any pub and see huddled in the darkness
small groups of Pythnorts whispering to each other the words of Saint Clese or Saint Palin.
As English men we just look on and shake our heads at such antiquated ways. For now there are new things
LIKE
League of Gentleman (Hello Dave! is Dave there?)
The fast Shows (I was very very drunk)
The Mighty Boosh (It’s called the Mirror ball suit)
And last and best
Little Brittan (Ye but no but ye but no but ye but Mandy Clarks a slag)
Saying all that
“Give us ya liver then”
“O all right”
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I don't get Monty Python. I just don't get it.
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I'm a lumberjack and I'm oooook!
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Vincent I am guessing
A. You watched it once
or
B. You were sober.
Please repeat as neccessary ;)
G-452