The World of Layonara
Character Development => Development Journals and Discussion => Topic started by: Makashi on September 26, 2005, 02:12:00 AM
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Dear Mother and Father,
This may sound like strange news, but I'm not longer on voltrex...I had this strange dream, and I've found out I'm on mistone, staying at a town called Hlint. I don't know quite what happened, but it's exciting being here! It's so different from home!
So far I've met a few people, some who I am now very close friends with, Sy'Ravenne, Shelu, and I've met quite a few men, so far barely any that I could see myself spending time with.
I've already ended up in some complicated situations, there is a man named Corsan who is in love with Ravenne, but I don't think she really wants to be with him, I thought she was after some one called Jet, but apparently that hasn't worked out for her either! Maybe it's just humans in general, although Corsan is half-elven.
Earlier on me, Ravenne and Dorena all enjoyed soaking up the attention from a group of males trying to flirt, Ozy who is an extremely wise man, also has a very clever way of putting his words, to make you feel special. Some others tried following his steps, but none were as perfect as his compliments!
I was going to go to Dregar with them, but I felt nervous without Ravenne there! Jeran said he would like to see me when he gets back, so maybe there is some one in this place after all!
Kaizer took me and Ravenne into Haven mines aswell, it's so dark down there until you reach the ogre settlements, where there was normally hundreds, Kaizer didn't have a problem with them! Suddenly Corsan caught up with us...was begging for Ravenne's forgiveness for striking her down, I know it was probably an accident, but she has the right to be angry...later on the trip he flipped out ran off and got himself into a lot of trouble. Why are some males so stupid? Not you father! Me and Ravenne enjoyed Kai's company, he was constantly making us laugh, I think Corsan was jealous, kept saying he was going on his way, but stayed near to hear the conversations, theres a line between love and obsession, I feel kind of sorry for Ravenne just because she can't seem to have anytime to herself without something like this coming up.
Hope everything at home is well and good. I will write back to you soon.
E ceela aey.
Ranéwin.
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Dear Mother and father,
I have had an extrmely odd week, worse than the previous one! I've done so many things and met so many people. A short while ago I returned from Berhagen mountains, which is quite far south on Mistone, it was a great trip and I learnt a lot from it. I'm hoping to do a little exploring on my own later, just so I don't have to worry about anyone else with me, I'd really like to see how far I've come since leaving home. Ilsare has blessed me with some powers I could not have dreamed of.
The night before however was amazing, I got to know some one very well, and who knows maybe I will see more of them! Ravenne has remained by my side since my arrival, she looks out for me as I do for her, and we can always find something to laugh about, we've shared both happy and sad moments together, and I hope that she will continue to stay at my side, Shes the only person I fully trust here.
Taking back time a few more days and I would have been fighting alongside an archer named Monshira, he's the funniest person I've met, and is a typical male, always brags about how good his shot is, and then getting into small squabbles with his friends over whos kill it was, we spoke for a short time after our hunting and I found out he knew Ravenne, also found out that he liked her quite a lot. Ravenne was right, he's a brilliant person to be with, but he is almost as old as you father!
There are a few people in Hlint however who keep giving me grief whenever I bump into them, I havn't told anyone of this, I think I should be able to handle it whenever they do turn up...I just hope it doesn't continue for too long.
Ilsare has guided me to this day, and I have been thinking some of my actions have not been suitable to who I am, or what I believe in, I just hope Ilsare does not desert me for the complicated mess I seem to have found my way into. If a bard were to write a tale on this, it would be world famous.
I will write back again don't worry! For this seems to help my thinking a lot! I will be careful Mother don't worry! and father, I won't let anybody unwanted come near me, Ilsare will see to that.
Please tell Aegnor I miss speaking with him, life isn't really the same without you all near.
E ceela aey.
Ranéwin
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Dear Mother and Father,
I feel like this past week I have inflicted a lot of damage upon peoples hearts...I was confused...and the only person I could of talked to about it was involved...I felt lost and alone after I put things right...I'm sorry I'm not telling the full story but I think it would only make me feel worse, you'll know in time.
The postmaster sent me the dress, thank you mother, it's beautiful, I just hope your there to see the day I wear it! Sy seems a bit upset with me over the problem I have, I hope she will still be my friend...If not I think I will have to find a way back to Voltrex sooner than I had planned.
I intend to go travelling with Monshira into the dragon isles with him, and some of his friends who go there often.
I will write back soon as always!
E ceela aey.
Ranéwin
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Mother and Father,
I think this letter is long overdue, sorry if I've been worrying you!!
This past week I feel I have been irresponsible, getting carried away with feelings of friendship I'm not used to, I upset a really good friend again, Corsan, think I hurt him by telling him he wasn't the one for me...
I spent my birthday at an inn not too far away, Leilon, had a great time, but it could have been better. received far too many gifts aswell, so many kind people, but some of the gifts I think were thought of on the spot, or not thought about at all, I mean Rice Oil?!
Yesterday was probably one of the most hectic days I've seen yet, Kaizer proposed to Sy'Ravenne, and Barion to Shelu, two of my closest friends getting married!! I thought I'd get to that before them, I can wait. Shortly after we headed to the Haven mines to help Angela find a certain ogre, it was most of our friends there. While I was down there though, I felt drawn to some one. He's always been kind to me, made me laugh and smile, and most importantly I feel comfortable with him, he wasn't pressuring me into doing anything I didn't want to, we spoke a lot, he told me a story of when he was at sea, he's a great person, and I hope I'll be seeing more of him! ...I know it's a little sudden after what I did to Corsan...I feel really bad about it..but I can't let it stop me from happy though...things between me and Corsan weren't right, something was missing, and when I felt stressed out by all the things happening at the time. I'm just hoping things will work out.
Could you please put this letter out for Aegnor's delivery, really hope he still reads everything, even if he doesn't right back, but he has always cared although not been able to show it.
As a cleric of Ilsare I feel irresponsible right now, I need to calm myself down and get used to the different feelings friendship can bring, sorry if I have disappointed you both this week.
Take care.
E ceela aey
Ranéwin
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Mother and Father,
Strange week once more. This place is really more of an adventure I could ever had imagined for...Well the man I was speaking of in my last letter, is still by my side, and I hope it stays like this. I really do feel like I may already be in love with him, and this time I think it's the real thing... I hate not being near him.
A girl called Ly, who Ravenne was dear friends with, attacked a group of my friends in a cheetah form, she is some sort of shapeshifter I think. everyone tried to restrain her, but it ended up with Ravenne slicing it a few times, to fall to the ground and change into the shape of the Ly, we all knew.
I set off to rest in the inn, but could not sleep, I went to find everyone in the Rangers Vale, just south of Hlint. I arrived and there was an angel speaking with Trysk and a few others, all had been attacked by something or someone? no one was making sense...The angel took us to spellguard, where we had to fight our way through the dark tunnels, my spells were off...there was a curse in the air, my spells would go wrong some, well most of the time, I mean I went to heal some one and suddenly they were poisoned, then to cast a protection on my beloved Trysk, only to blind us both almost completely. Then we came to a room where a devil was fighting against a whipmaster, I charged in thinking the devil was Sy, they looked similar except the wings!! I backed up after I got hit once by the things whip leaving my in a lot of pain...I risked healing myself and watched the Whipmaster disappearing, leaving the devil behind....Sy ran up to it and challenged it for some reason, one strike swiftly followed by another quickly left Ravenne a corpse on the floor, I broke down into tears next to my dear Ravenne's face...I didn't know what to do...I was scared if I got up and hit the thing that trysk would do the same...I didn't want him getting hurt, but I didn't want to leave Ravenne there...
Ly was on the floor the whole fight, I didn't really notice, but soon the devil gave everyones life back, Ravenne's at an extra cost to an elven girl called Ireth...I should have taken the debt...but I didn't really understand what was happening at the time.
We went home exhausted, me and Trysk went to Hlint to rest. When I woke up, I could of sworn I saw some one, identical to me! right down to the sword father gave me! Gave me the creeps. Really did look like Sedis'ias, but she couldn't have found her way here....could she? Couldn't be I guess, just paranoid.
Everyones getting married now, Shelu to Barion soon, Ireth got married to Brit, I missed the wedding sadly, and Ravenne and Kai's is coming up soon I think, Kai bought them a new house today aswell, looked lovely, especially their room, had a pool in it!! Maybe it won't be long until I get married...I guess it all depends on Trysk's feelings.
I am planning on coming back for a visit soon enough, but I don't think I'm going to be staying for good, I've just got settled in here, msybr I could bring Trysk to meet you both. Not sure if you'd approve of him father, but mother I know you would find him just as nice and as much of a laugh as I do.
Anyway I am heading to the leilon arms again tonight, see whats going on!
E ceela aey.
Ranéwin
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*she pulls out a book and opens it to the first blank page and begins writing*
First morning of waking up in my new house. Krandor, and on our door step is a view out to the sea, perfect for the both of us. I did a little bit of decorating and Trysk said he liked what I had done, I feel like everything is going the right way for me.
I have also seen my sister Sedis'ias around mistone with Aegnor...I think they are here to cause trouble....why would aegnor come all this way otherwise?
I fear the fight with my sister may be my last aswell...I just hope my training and Ilsare's blessings will come through for me during the fight....She is strong but has nothing to lose, I now have everything to lose.
Me and Trysk spent pretty much the entire day decorating, getting together some gold, and then we went to Lake Rillon, we arrived in Rilara just after nightfall, had no idea really which way it was to get there, eventually we came to Fort Himlad, I was convinced that we had gone the wrong way, but Trysk encouraged me to keep going, to be honest I was scared of the place!! then we came to the lake...lit up by the moon and the stars, sparkling away, we spoke for hours and bathed in the river among doing some other things! Morning came and it got a lot more beautiful, I could see a white stag from where I lay next to trysk, the sun breaking through the trees onto the laked looked stunning. Then we set back to Mistone, and trysk left me at the docks to get on with a few things he needed to, I set off north towards Hlint, I bumped into Shelu and Barion and gave them their keys, showed them what me and Trysk had been putting in the house. Think they are having a few problems at the moment, but they should be fine.
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*sat by a fire alone in a cold breeze, Ranéwin pulls out the book she recently started writing in and rests it against her knees to start writing*
Everything was going so well aswell....fallen into place just as it should have. All of the things that have been going have caused me to do too much thinking, not enough meditating and praying to ilsare.
I should be with Trysk in the Leilon Arms...not out here in the cold, I was with him, about to make my dress, when I suddenly felt like I was needed elsewhere. I went outside the craft house to see Monshira, he spoke to me for a while and offered some help with my training, but said if he was to help, he must leave now...and so we set off south towards Port Hampshire.
I felt guilty for leaving Trysk picking himself something to wear...I would have told him if I could, Monshira said he was already probably late for the boat, we just made it in time and set off to Dregar...
We left Hurm, I was feeling scared knowing I was so far from Trysk...but I felt safe with Monshira, and the fact I was further away from my sister was a plus side...I need to send Trysk a letter to let him know where I have gone...maybe he will write back while I'm so far from our home.
*she striaghtens her back and turns the page and tears it out leaning back once more against the tree, looking into the distance releasing a sigh as she starts writing on the loosely torn page*
Dearest Trysk,
I am truely sorry for my sudden disappeance...I had to leave with Monshira, he told me he would give me some training, teach me to use my wits, but we had to leave at once...I wanted to come back to say good bye and tell you how I love you, but I was told there was no time and so I set off, taking the few supplies I had with me at the time.
I'm now sat near the top of the Irori hills, the chill of the wind makes the warmth of the fire, feel similar to what I feel whenever I'm travelling with you. Except there is a howling wind instead of a growling drunkard!
I wish I was with you at the arms, or in yours, all I can hope is that you go there, and have fun. Please look after yourself, so that your there for my return, and take care of everyone I would normally have to!
While I look down this mountain, it makes me realise the importance of being able to cope with the constant changes that we are faced with, but to keep looking forward, not down nor up. Kind of like what I should be doing while fighting.
I have already learned a lot from being here, and have heard some stories from Monshira that are fascinating...the one that made me smile the most was the one about the the archer who saved a pirate in the haven mines...hehe.
Walking the roads with Monshira though is the scariest experience I've felt yet, it's been very dark and Monshira has always been a few steps from my side, but as I looked about frantically I could not see him, then came an ambush..I had a couple of pirates holding their swords at my sides ready to take everything I had...they all lay dead moments later and Monshira grabbed my arm pulling me to safety.
He remained quiet until we reached the spot I am in now, we ate some food and Monshira wandered off, told me to get some rest and he would come get me in the morning, some how I don't feel he is very far, and I feel very safe in this place.
I hope to be home soon...Take care until I am. E ceela aey.
Ranéwin.
*the page is folded and she tucks it away into a bag to be posted in the morning before covering herself with a blanket and going to sleep*
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I am now sat in the Dark Forest, it lives up to the name, Monshira has had to deal with quite a lot of bandits over our travels through here, he is taking me to harlax....to show me where he grew up near, to show me how different the people are there, from how joyous they are in hlint.
When we stepped into the forest, Monshira stopped and turned to me, to say 'This isn't like other forests you have been in, if you get split up from me you will die, that in certain' after saying this I felt very uneasy, he reassured I was safe aslong as I stayed near by. He then gave me a long wire to wrap around my hand and told me to tug on it if there was something wrong. 'No more talking until we reach a safer spot'. He really knew what he was doing, like he had done it a thousand times before, he probably has considering the maount of time he has spent there.
We are only a day from harlax now, I really am looking forward to sleeping somewhere a bit warmer and with a bed, although I would prefer to be at home with trysk a whole lot more. I am going to retire for the evening so that I am feeling more refreshed for the adventures to come...
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The sun has almost set, as beautiful as it is, I'm far more attracted to the lights I can see from Hurm in the far distance, that is my way home.
The things I have seen in Harlax are truely saddening, the town is on a downward spiral, slowly being run down by crime and the fact that they cannot really get out of their town easily, makes life very difficult for everyone there.
We went to one of Monshira's old friends houses and had a meal and a few drinks, they both told me a lot more about the forest, some of the creatures we fortunately did not encounter, however I was well aware of the thieves that jumped us several times, I could guess that it was a very common occurance.
When I first arrived everyone gave me strange looks, Apparently it is because they really dislike outsiders because they just cannot trust them with the amount of crime that happens. Everyone likes to keep to themselves, even the inn was pretty empty.
I really am looking forward to being back on Mistone, hoping everyone is safe and well for my return.
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It was so nice getting back and spending a relaxing night at home with Trysk, the next day I spent putting some of Monshira's training to use, only to find myself back on dregar late into the evening with Kai and some others, Trysk was already over there, thought we might bump into eachother and we did in Pranzis!
We said our good byes to eachother and went our separate ways, we passed the most beautiful place, a lake near the Forest of Mist. Perhaps I will be able to live up there someday in the far future.
Since I have been back on Mistone however things with my sister have gotten worse, I keep seeing her popping up almost everywhere, just smiling under her hood, and what of Aegnor? I wonder if he is really going to fight Trysk...I don't want any harm to come of my love. I am hopefully going to the leilon arms masquerade ball later...wonder if I'll be able to tell whos who easily?
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So many things to write down, I don't know where to begin, I could start with ranting on about the possible places Trysk could be....and reasons why he's not here, but I won't, I just miss him, I trust he will come back.
I was so happy seeing Ireth give birth, felt sorry for her knowing that it wasn't any normal child and would grow up suprisingly fast, she'll never have a chance to enjoy all aspects of raising the child, she probably knows and that's probably why she seemed reluctant to do somethings. We went back to Ireth's house after and all spoke for hours, Ozy told us details about the planes and so on, which helped me understand things a lot better.
Been speaking with Cray and Vivian more and more often recently too, their becoming closer friends than I would have thought, and I feel dettached from others now everyday, I don't fit in around a lot of people, I try to help, but they just tend to upset me now...*a tear drop stains this part of the page* Filling my head with stupid ideas about where Trysk might be.
*she shuts the book abruptly and wanders off to bed*
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Just as I was thinking I could not have anything else taken from me, I did...I was helping a group to destroy the black hand, during our journey we encountered a banshee, which caused a lot of the people I was with to fall, I wanted to help them all....I knew there was something wrong, I could feel a dark presence, when I raised the first person, It felt as if something was being torn from within me...I fought against the strain, and one by one Ilsare helped me bring them back....When I was done. I felt terrible....weak....tired....and then I looked at my hands as I rest.
My hands were withered, wrinkly, and looked to be the hands of an old lady, I looked in the water to see the reflection of my face....to my horror I was not recognisble..Will my friends even recognise me anymore?
I hoped oh so much the curse would be lifted once the hand had been destroyed, but no, I remained the same. We travelled to a different realm to do so, and as Ramanon arrived, who carried the hand, it exploded within the box and unleashed death before the destruction was finally pulled back in toward it...leaving a small bone behind. I hope no one picked it up....but I didn't look really.
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Slowly everythings starting to look up once more, no cure for the curse that is upon me so far, however I have had an interesting talk with some people around Mistone for more knowledge on what has actually happened, Connor, a mage from the Arcane Alliance, told me my skin had absorbed excessive amounts of negative energy, which has caused my skin to age as it has. Every moment I'm not distracted by people taking my mind off of this..I can't help but try to think of another way around the problem.
Some clerics from the temple told me perhaps I should try looking for rings and jewellery, enchanted to hide such curses, I did consider this before...but didn't think it would be much use, however they all were convinced it would work, aslong as I was wearing them, once taking them off I would return to my current state, that has given me little hope, which I am thankful for.
I don't feel rushed to get this resolved when Trysk's around, he treats me exactly the same as he always has, maybe he's not around as much at the moment, but we all have other commitments to which he understands, as do I. However I do find it hard to get moments alone with him, normally we go adventuring as soon as we see eachother, it's fun, but usually others tag along, I'd just like some real time to sit and talk to him completely isolated from everyone else.
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Me and Trysk spent the whole night infront of the fire, alone, telling stories, cuddling eachother, when we're talking we never run out of things to say, he told me more about adventures at sea, asked me about things that happened while he wasn't around. Talked about almost everything from necromancer's and the blackhand, to children's names *smiles as she writes* Eventually we just slept infront of the fire, in eachothers arms.
People seem to be saying I have been very quiet recently...I just feel awkward around certain people right now, especially whenever the subject of my skin is brought up around people I don't know, Don't they understand that I would prefer my business to be my own? I don't need it announced to the town, but everyone runs up to me asking, saying I'm still the same person they knew, although they try to keep their eyes fixed on different things around, makes me feel worse usually. Then theres the people who make little jokes about it, I know I have done myself from time to time, but thats me saying them....I know I'm playing around, but when others try to make it sound funny, just makes me feel very different.
Again, I gave a piece of my soul to help some one, Elhara. I really wish people would carry soulstones around so that I do not feel so drained after a resurrection, maybe I should just stop performing them on people. On Trysk it's fine, our souls are almost as one anyway....but I can't help all these people, just because they expect me to. I'd like to be able to live my life normally, not treated as an object that gets pulled along to bring people back because they were being too foolish. *sighs and slams her book closed*
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I walked back home from the temple in Hlint and shortly after arriving, Trysk turned up aswell, just as I was getting fed up with trying to get the table and shelves straightened up! We talked for a while and he kneeled beside me, I thought he was just tired or something, then he pulled out a ring, looked at me, and asked me to marry him, All I could do was smile with happiness and accept. I cried with joy, and the ring seems to have helped me with the curse.
Ilsare's blessings have helped me a great deal recently, keeping my mind focused on the important things that will be a part of my life forever, I need to visit my mother and father, tell them about everything that has happened. Maybe I should head there for a few days soon.
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Dear Mother and Father,
Thank you for how welcome you made me feel when I came home, I know your both disappointed I'm not moving back, but I have to get on with the life I am now caught up in, seeing my friends in Hlint, reminded me just how much I would miss everyone here if I did. I know you were shocked with the curse that is upon me, but I'm glad it didn't change the way things between us were, I guess it's exactly the same situation I had back on mistone when it first happened, but everyone who cared for me did stand by...Which is definitely the most important thing they could have done. Thank you both for standing by. I hope the others know how thankful I am aswell.
Recently however I've been distracted by things keeping me from my work at the temple, I should really visit Hlint more often to make sure I carry on helping others find love, in whatever form, be it music, or even just getting a smile. Ilsare blesses those that Love. Just like you both taught me.
Please both of you take care, and maybe consider talking to Sedis'ias, even if she hates me, everyone wishes to do their parents proud...she just needs to be loved.
I will do my best to visit more often, and hope to hear from you both soon!
E ceela aey
Ranéwin
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How I long to see Trysk again, things are not the same without him here, I just hope that he will return to me soon. I've been helping a lot of the townsfolk around Hlint getting them used to the unfamilar land they have found themselves in. One was a short halfling called Dram. Reminded me of how rewarding that feeling of helping some one is.
Trysk, I know your out there somewhere, If I had to guess I'd say on a ship sailing, well, hiding in the cellar drinking the captains supplies! *smiles as she writes*
E ceela aey Trysk, and until we are together again, I will wait, and keep the house tidy ofcourse!
On another note, I had to help Barion and a few others fight a demon, Something myself, Trysk, Vivian and Jet faced a long time ago, But it wasn't as easy this time round, by the end of the fight I was exhausted and had resurrected a girl I noticed laying near the fight. We eventually were successful and the beast could do no more, made a mistake and most of our swords probably ended it's life very quickly.
Supposedly this is all because of the demons going mad without their leader, one of bloods generals who was defeated recently, and lost any control over Xanthril. So for the time being, more guards have been placed around the city. Hopefully they will be able to hold them off, should more come.
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*Ranéwin sits down in her home infront of the fire, blowing a small layer of dust from her book before opening it and taking out a quill*
Each moment that passes, each sunrise, and sunset. I think of you Trysk, the times we've had...
Even the times spent together in some of the most awful places, I wish I could relive.
The memories of a feeling, I long to feel once more.
So many things I wish I could talk to you about.
Your in my thoughts and prayers. My heart and soul.
I long for the day when I sit by the ocean, and see your ship coming to port.
E ceela aey.
*she closes the book and stares into the fire before drifting off into a dream*
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*she lays on the couch and picks a book from the ground, flicks to a certain page and begins writing with her Quill*
So it seems my time is passed now helping those that need it, and learning alchemy...cooking....I used to say I wouldn't ever cook, but I've actually suprised myself....so perhaps I should try my luck with a bow again. Well maybe when theres no one around, just to be safe.
Apart from this I've got to know quite a few people, Ael who I find myself travelling with more and more often, he's nice company, and unlike most of the people around he's smart. After a trip through various places he made me a set of keys so that I could visit dregar more often, and we've been adventuring a couple of times since, including to Xantril! So many creatures there....but I don't think I'll be going alone anytime soon.
Then theres the bard Freldo, for some reason he appears where ever I am, I don't know if he's following me, or if it's luck, but he's always able to make me laugh, he even walked me home one night! Ashame I still don't know him very well. No doubt I will soon though.
Kiva, now he's a bit strange, flirtatious but a bit weird, along with his nickname 'Dark Child' which I find more disturbing than anything.
Sabrissia has been talking to me about a few things helped me clear my head, shes becoming a good friend, and shes so well suited to Barion, so I hope she looks after him!
*she closes the book, along with her eyes, and holds onto a green stone that always hangs around her neck*
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*next entry in her book*
I was speaking to Kiva earlier, wasn't in the happiest of moods, we talked about my situation mainly, and then he wanted to teach me how to listen to the shadows, sounded interesting, but Barion interupted and I lost all concentration...from there I ran home with Shelu and decided to get some jobs in the house done that I've been avoiding so long.
As I left I bumped into Jeran, so we sat and talked, cheered me up a lot too, then Barion and Abi came and we all talked some more...was nice to have a group of us all together again...it's been a while since I've had any big talks with Abi and Angela...
Abi was telling Barion some things needed to be done back at the house in Hlint, so they left and me and Jeran talked for a bit longer before heading to Firesteep with a load of others, sadly the return did not go as planned, and I'm not really sure if anyone made it, although I'm sure ael did because he's so fast...maybe Jeran did but I didn't get a chance to look at who was running before I fell myself.
So I travelled back to mistone using a portal, and went to Hlint, noticed the temple must have had enough funds for a fountain, it's beautiful, was told a bard named Regnus collected the seeds for the flowers...I think thats what Akki said anyway. When I got back anyway, everyone asked me what had happened and some even offered help, *smiles at the thought* Frelo turned up said his hello and went off somewhere, then I bumped into him by the temple of Ilsare.
We sat by the fountain, and he even read a poem he'd written for me, and a lovely one it was. I think we must have talked all night because it wasn't until early morning that I went to get a little rest. Though I know we still have a lot to talk about, he's just a person whos nice and easy to talk to, and funny, although he may try a little too hard sometimes!
Now my plans are to collect a few things, organise the chests a little more, and to avoid firesteep....for a while.
*closes the book and tucks it under the sofa*
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It's coming up to the 3rd year without seeing Trysk...I'm beginning to think he may not have plans on returning, or has found his sister, or something...maybe he thinks I wasn't going to come back...
Well, I guess I'll just have to carry on, theres nothing else to do. Although it feels like I am growing apart from all my friends, growing close to a few others, though I'm finding it harder to talk to more and more people. I guess it's all because I'm always trying to avoid thinking about whether or not Trysk will return. Though it's had to ignore the thoughts...unless I'm around the right people I just don't feel like myself anymore.
I miss Abi and Angela dearly, but I understand they have other things to deal with. I miss Shelu. Just wonder if things could have turned out differently if I hadn't of gone away...I'd probably still be close to Abi and Angela, maybe I could have even helped Shelu...and Trysk may have even stayed...even miss my talks with Jeran, which we still have, just not often. I suppose in a way it's good, he helps me clear my head, then leaves and comes back when it needs clearing again!
Freldo, every moment he's around I feel fine, even if I'm thinking of all the problems I've got, looking at him and seeing him smile makes me feel at ease, and safe, which I don't quite understand!
Ilsare, bring Trysk back to me safely...
-
Dear Mother,
I wish I could write to you telling you of all the wonderful things that have been happening,
But I think today I've realised that I'm being unfair to people around me....not thinking about the long term consequences.
Everyone in my life before I came to visit...the very people I came back for, Gone, or just have little time or interest to speak to me. Maybe the same has happened to Trysk, maybe he's moved on. Maybe he hasn't.. I hope he hasn't but I don't even know where he is. He left somewhere just a few weeks before I got back to Mistone. Sy'Ravenne...she was around often when I got back, but it was as if she had never knew me. Then she just stopped passing by.
Kaizer..I don't know what happened to him, Nor Shadoe, and well I think Corsan must have left Mistone because of me...Though fortunately I still see Abi and Angela, on the occasion.
Also Shelu died by the time I arrived back...Everytime I walk into her old room I feel lost without her to talk to.
I miss them all, but not as much as the feeling of knowing your in the company of people that love you.
I guess I really need your advice...recently I've become very close to Freldo, he makes me laugh, smile, makes me feel good about myself. but he's not Trysk...and I do adore Freldo, he's such a nice person...
The same mistakes been made by me before....and the out come hasn't been good...I guess Corsan and Sy'Ravenne are proof of that...I don't want to hurt Freldo, but I fear I've left it too late...I love Trysk, and yet I'm irresponsible enough to let some one get close to me. What should I do? Why do I let myself do these stupid things.
I pray for Ilsare to bring Trysk back, and to help me make the right choices in life. I just hope she can guide me out of this predicament.
Send Father my love. Miss you both very much, among other things.
Take care of yourselves.
Ranéwin
-
It's funny how a few simple words can change your mood completely...what I mean really is, before I went to the Arms earlier for a drink I felt pretty much how I have done the last 5 years or however long it's been now!! Acacea only really said was 'You missed Trysky', suddenly my heart skipped a beat, knowing that after all this time, perhaps my prayers and dreams have finally come true.
Just hearing his name without bringing it up first, just brought a smile to my face, I looked around to double check he wasn't there, but atleast I know he is well, even if he was only visiting...atleast I have the satifaction of knowing he is taking care of himself, well I hope he is anyway or it's another thing thats going on the list of things to moan at him about when he gets back, which is getting longer by the day, mostly just things around the house I never want to have to do again.
Passing through hlint over the past few months I've talked with the few people I often see on my little walks during my spare time, unless I'm heading home, or to the temple! I need to talk with Freldo again, after seeing him at the inn tonight, and receiving those flowers the other day with the side message, I think we could use a chat, and I assumed he didn't want to talk about it while he was working, so said nothing, although I think he must have overheard the talk about Trysk.
I suppose I can only hope he will continue to talk to me, without having those conversations which make you feel really awkward, and then that overhanging feeling of regret for everythings that has happened!
E ceela aey Trysk. Come back soon.
*She closes the book and slides it onto a shelf before walking out the room whistling happily*
-
Trysk,
How the years have passed, So many things have changed, I've found it difficult coping without you, knowing that we would not see eachother for a long time. Yet my bond with you will always remain the same. People have helped me learn, that no one will replace you. Hearing your name brings back so many happy memories, feelings, dreams of our future..
I know that your well, and hope you do come home soon, so we can do all the things we used to. Sitting by the fire, or just outside our door by the sea...Just thinking about the memories of our love...it's what keeps the smile upon my face. Ilsare's blessed us with a unity which won't be broken, even if you do not return, I will never stop remembering all the things you taught me, and how you could walk into a room and fill it with laughter.
Oh, and you really need to help me move some book cases, they're too heavy for me to cope with on my own.
Missing you each moment.
E Ceela aey,
Ranéwin
-
So many changes....the fall of pranzis....blood.....abi....my feelings...
I wandered into Hlint one early morning, and bumped into Freldo, I stood there catching up with him, he told me about how he was waiting for news, when Barion turned up several hours later and told us that Blood had finally fallen. I was shocked, I had no idea an attack was even launched, a darkness consumed the sky, damage from one of the blood wells I understand.
So the dawn of a new age...what a terrible start it had. Abi hung herself, Barion was devastated. I was devastated. One of the few close friends I had, really close....gone, forever...I cried, on my own, with Freldo, Barion...everytime I hear her name come up tears come to my eyes...I miss her. I loved her dearly.
Freldo has been the only thing thats kept my mind away from things I don't want to think about too much. I've grown even closer to him now than before, and I hope things stay this way.
I've got A'arna's old house in Lar now...I need to start moving my stuff up there, but it's going to take time. It's probably going to be awkward getting it all up the peaks aswell...So I guess thats my next thing to get distracted from.
-
Time moves on, as do people, and their feelings. Well, some people.
It's funny how I find myself sat on the benches of Hlint more and more often recently. Like old times, just without the old people.
I watch and listen to the conversation of the new adventurers, how it reminds me of the days when I had not been as far as the bottom of Haven mines. Some things will always remain the same. How I wish that was so for the friendships that once were.
If there was one more wish I could have come true, I would have to wish for all of my old friends to be brought back together, again. I miss the adventures with Trysk, Barion, Shelu, Angela and Abi, The days when I first arrived and Kaizer and his wife took me to see the sights of Mistone...I long to see some people again, Monshira, who took me to dregar for the first time, whatever happens to these people who are so close at heart? but probably so far away in reality.
I can't complain, well about anything seriously. Life here in Krandor is good, I've got my fiancé Trysk, and all is well, although it's getting hard to drag him out of the local inn to do anything. It's definitely better than him being half way across the sea.
So whats next in life? I don't know, I just know I'm enjoying each day as it comes, even though Hlint haunts me of good and bad memories, these past few weeks watching people, has helped me realise it will always be my home away from home. I need to try and get together with Angela to discuss a lot really, it's been a long time since we have been able to talk one on one.
-
For almost the past year now I've been up in Lar, mainly because of the plague like disease that infected the town, which seemed to have cleared up about a few months back, I would like to move back from the peaks, but on my return to Krandor I found the house, litterally torn apart.
Nothing was really where it should be, carpets torn up from the floorboards, bookshelves knocked over, the books half way across the room in some cases (No pun intended), The first thing I checked was to see if our expensive items in the home were all present, which suprisingly they were. It was more like some one had been searching desperately for something, rather than a general burglarly from the looks of things.
I instantly had a few suspicions of who it might be and why, and one of the people that came to mind was some one I had met days before, who was rude and generally very arrogant to, well everyone he spoke to. But it's a little strange for some one you've just met to instantly want to rummage around your house and not take anything. So I came to the conclusion it can't have been him.
I went back to Hlint hoping I could find some one who might be able to give me an idea as to why some one would do something like this, I spoke to Kyle and Ferrit, who had the same opinion as me, it didn't look like a normal break in, why would some one cause so much trouble, but not take anything of value, Kyle suggested that they could have been looking for me or Trysk, and not cared about the contents. They said they would keep an eye out for me, and I let them know I would be staying up in Lar until I know it's safe to go back to Krandor.
Besides this, there isn't really much exciting happening in my life, Barion has found himself again, and was very comforting to be around, knowing he's happier and as caring as he always had been. I do hope things work out this time for him, he deserves it.
Freldo's been keeping himself busy, keep bumping into him for brief chats and to get whatever gems I have on me at the time crushed up, which he's getting good at now, he also managed to confuse me so much I needed a couple of glasses of wine to stop trying to piece together what was actually said in the first place.
After stumbling out of the inn, not due to the wine in my blood, but the badger below the doorstep...Hlint's a strange place, I sat at the benches reading a book, was quite coincidental who turned up then, Celgar and Daren, not been able to speak with them both in so long, and we had a general chat about things, and had a laugh about a few things too!
I've spoken to Angela a few times about things and we went travelling for a while about a month back now, it was fun going about with her again.
I don't think I go adventuring enough anymore, it's like I've fallen distant from a lot of people, not spending as much time in Hlint and being able to go travelling with them as often as I'd like to. Though I'll always make the effort to go some where, when and if I can!
-
People around hlint have been telling me that a couple of elves have been looking around for me, I think it has to be Sedis'ias, maybe Aegnor is still travelling with her, I can't be to sure. When I was heading home to lar, just before reaching the foot of the Grey peaks, A person I walked by turned around and said a message for you, hit me, when I came around I was being helped by a couple of friends, who had made a splint for my ankle, and was taken back to hlint. I'd broken my ankle falling over, and so went to the temple of ilsare to start my recovery.
When I was sat by Calise going through my pack for ingrediants for a potion I came accross a note, from Sedis'ias, saying she couldn't wait to give me the good news. I have to admit, I was confused at first it's a strange way to deliver a message like that...so I assume it's sarcasm...Why did she not just find me herself? I Don't know whats going on but theres a map some where, I need to check it out I guess.
-
*the page of her book is covered in tear stains, a lot of the ink smudged and is quite hard to read in places*
I meet up with Callise at the temple of ilsare, after hearing from her she had a message for me, my cousin Elovin had arrived looking for me. She had travelled down from Voltrex after hearing about the murder of my mother... I have never felt that way before, I couldn't stop picturing her....and it sunk in straight away...I'm not going to see her ever again. And she'll never get to see all the things and people in my life that I'm now proud of...
Then Elovins words started echoing in the back of my head, 'when I heard your mother was killed', the thoughts spinning round my mind of who, how and why, all these things I just wanted to know, like in some way it would help bring her back...I just felt lost and confused. Then she carried on explaining, and finally metioned it was something to do with Sedis'ias. I didn't feel sad anymore...just angry, Elovin reluctantly told me where I could find some of her friends in Velensk.
So we all headed there and eventually found the place, Barion tried getting the door open for us, and it was left hanging on it's hinges, when guards turned up and demanded we showed a warrant. This delayed things a great deal and I found it hard to stay calm at some points, I think Barion was in a bit of trouble too. So we got a warrant and checked the place, Letters thrown about the place, on the floor, on desks, notes on where I've been spotted, places they have found out I visit often, lists of ways to kill me discretely, and publicly, all written by Sedis'ias...Elovin said she had gone mad and this was proof of how obsessive with killing she was becoming...it frightened me more when we could see some sort of ritual that had taken place, a corpse covered in blood, which had been used to open a portal, which meant lots of Air elementals coming out of it, until we closed the portal. And left, But there was proof that Sedis'ias had a meeting with some one in Leilon soon...
If I find her, I don't know what I'll do.
Killing her would give me satisfaction, I have to admit it, but not one I want to feel. I just want her to be unable to cause harm or pain to anyone, ever.
Taking her to be prisoned has crossed my mind, and then been dismissed, she has a lot of friends, and she'll be alive a long time, She'd eventually get out, and I would probably hear nothing of it. I don't want this ordeal again...
This whole situation has thrown some perspective into my life...Even though I am able to live many years, it doesn't guarentee I will. I need to look after myself and those around me to make sure I can help myself and others to enjoy what time they have. I need to step away from some things to be able to move on in my life.
-
I visited the location on the map. I decided to go alone, as it was the way I felt to be honest. I arrived at the Rolling Hills I think it's called, near the iron hills and that lake. I found a small gravestone, and some flowers by it... the stone was my mothers. I began crying again, and just kept hearing her voice, all the things she'd used to say. I kneeled down and smelt the flowers, a scent so fresh some one must have placed them here recently. I then noticed a small box, I opened it to see a small piece of parchment rolled up, and very carefully tied.
I pulled the bow and unravelled the parchment. The first thing I saw, was my fathers signature at the bottom. My eyes gazed to the top of the page and I began reading.
"Dearest Vakéira,
Things in this world have changed since the days of us being youths. I can still remember the sparkle of the sun shining in your eyes when we first met, the smile that swept across your face, I'll remember the first time you spoke to me at the temple. That day was the beginning of our happiness together, yet I don't think writing for another life time would help me even begin to explain the happiness you brought me for over 600 years. Though your gone, the love we shared will live on, and everytime I pray to Ilsare, your face, your voice, the smell of your hair overwhelms my thoughts.
I did the one thing you wanted done if this day ever came, you trusted me to pick you this spot. Some where beautiful, and some where Ranéwin would be able to see you. The noise of the stream here, just reminds brings back a mountain of happy memories of us together, spending time together, learning, teaching, and raising our children.
The day shall come where I will too pass on, and back to your warm embrace once more. Each morning I wake up lost, empty, and desperate to feel your touch again. The pain of losing you this way will never go away until I am with you again, but I know what you would say to some one in my situation, 'So long as you are at peace with your heart, theres no moment in life you will not be able to endure, or to stop you finding hapiness in the beauty that surrounds.'
All of the people you taught, all the followers of Ilsare who knew you will miss you. I miss you.
E Ceela aey Vakéira."
Tears poured from my eyes as I read on, and I rolled the note up, tying it back up placing it back in the box. My father had left Voltrex this had to mean....and Sedis'ias was trying to lead me to the grave to let me know of her death is my assumption. I stayed at the grave all day, I just felt lost. I knew I was so close to my mother, I kept talking to her, just hoping she would respond. I cried myself to sleep there, and thats when it happened. I could hear my mother talking to me, I felt overjoyed with emotion, and she answered everything I expected a response too...She is still here. In my dreams and prayers, memories and everything I do that she taught me. Everything then seemed so much clearer. I awoke with that happy feeling but annoyed about waking up..I didn't want that dream to end.
I returned to Hlint, and saw the white robe and hair, she turned and I saw the pale skin. Cray. I hugged her so tightly, I had missed her so much. I told her the news and she talked to me for a while, eventually we went to her house, and she made me a key. She told me about what had happened with her recently, and about the whole Alantha situation. So I've got a good friend to stay with now, so hopefully it won't be as lonely when I go home, plus I know I can tell her anything and everything! I hope I get a chance to speak to her about whats going on soon when were both about whats going on in our lives.
-
I've kept myself as busy as possible over the last couple of weeks. Practicing my alchemy, even learnt a few easier ways to make certain potions.
Lillian recently told Freldo to speak to me about how he felt, I think she could clearly see that we cared a lot for eachother. So he came up to me at the temple, and told me that he did still infact care for me the way he did a long time ago, maybe that did never change for him? I know that in my heart, he was always there, from the day we met travelling to firesteep, I knew that we would end up knowing eachother very well.
A few days after that, I was sat on the bench speaking to Lilly, and then I saw Trysk of all people, walking down the road. Lilly was asking me if Freldo was crafting, and I told her that he should be grinding gems, I was about to ask her to get Freldo, but she went off pretty quick.
Trysk sat down next to me and did his tiger impression, it brought back so many memories in a flash, but I stood up and told him we should speak some where a little quieter. I think at that point he must have known something was wrong, and I was thinking to myself did he even see the note I left at home? I guess not..we went to the temple of Ilsare and started talking, moments later Freldo appeared and gave me the gems he had ground up, and I introduced him to Trysk, then he asked me if I wanted to talk to him alone, which I did. So me and Trysk sat down in the grass, as we had done many times in the past, and I began explaining to him about why I left him, and the house in lar. I said about how when my mother had died, he was barely ever around to support me, that was what finally decided it, but over the last few years, we had grown further and further apart, as he spent more time working and drinking, and I spent more time venturing out and meeting a lot of new people.
He appologised and said he was sorry for any pain he had caused, and leaned in trying to kiss me, I just hugged him. He then made me feel a lot worse than I did for leaving him, the words he spoke 'your'll always have a place in my heart'. It made me realise a lot, that I had infact lost my fiancé, those times we had were memories. I finally felt like I had ended an era, a weight felt like it had been lifted from my shoulders, and placed on my stomach, I felt a bit confused at first, I'd no longer walk home and find this man? It was an odd feeling being honest, but I know it had to happen. Things between us were getting very distant, but I knew as well as he did, he would also have a place in my heart, forever. I then had to stand myself and walk away, as I paced from the temple towards Freldo's house, my vision got worse each step, from the tears building up in my eyes.
I got inside and just fell into his arms, a warmth suddenly came over me and things didn't seem so bad, but I finally had some closure on the situation. Me and Freldo spoke for a while after, and eventually went to sleep. He gets the couch, I get the bed.
-
While I was on dregar, with Freldo we had just finished our trip around the desert and the forest, we decided to call it a day and walk back to Pranzis.
We reached the waterfall at Corax lake, and just stood watching the water, It was beautiful, so quiet and relaxing, I looked into his eyes and it made me feel so....at home, safe, cared for. We kissed, and with it, I could see the stars in my memories...thinking back to that night on point harbour docks where we first kissed many years ago.
It was like everything was perfect again. No, it is perfect again. We strolled back to Pranzis and then headed for home in Hlint.
A few days later Freldo told me he had to go on a trip. While he was away I decided to get some things sorted out that have been waiting to be done for some time, like move stuff out of lar, still, and into Cray's and Freldo's,
Shortly after this I bumped into Rain and we ended up going for a journey on dregar, Elohanna came along too. On the way heading towards Saudria from the silver mine, we bumped into Shamur, and decided to head up to the storm horn mountains, I for one needed the thistles, and the others said that they had not been, although Rain did recognise the place upon arriving.
Just after battle with the Ice Drake there, we conviently met up with a much larger group, I knew some of them, and lots of them I didn't. They were headed for firesteep, and ended up joining them.
We slowly climbed the mountain, and had a lot of issues along the way with getting people up the steep slopes some of the time. All was going well until we reached the gate, no one with us could pick the lock, so we were stuck there. And decided to turn back.
Why did that mage lead everyone the wrong way? He knew the place pretty well none the less, but I just remember him leading people to the jump before the mouth of Fisterion's cave. Some jumped accross. And thas when the slaughter began, Kobolds started attacking those that made the jump, and those that didn't watched helplessly, trying to do what little they could, I cast a few spells, but I knew that it wouldn't be enough to save them, One by one, they fell, and I saw the soul mother touch a few of them.
It goes to show even though we had done extremely well, one wrong turn here on Firesteep can change everything.
A few days later, after recovering from the shock of what I had seen on firesteep, Christine and Angelique were looking for something to do, so I suggested that we could go to Berhagen, Needing hops and all! So we went, and a couple of their friends came along. Everything seemed to be going fine, until the Maurs that is.
The first one that saw us charged eagerly, but we brought it down, I lead the others up to the hill near the cave, and could see quite a few giants below. We started fighting them, and then one of the maurs knocked me off my feet, just before I tried to heal christine, I got back up and healed her, telling her to run, but the giants knocked her back to the ground, leaving her there bleeding...others tried to help by running in, getting themselves caught up in the trouble, I kept trying to get everyone away from them, but they just seemed to stay trying to fight...I watched each of them fall, and turned back. I reached the top of the hill and got a very brief rest in, hoping I could help them all, When I went back, I could only see Christine and Angelique laying there, I helped them up, and held off a few giants giving me problems trying to get them back to Shoufal.
Don't think I've ever been as relieved as I was then for reaching the gate of the town.
After returning to Hlint, Freldo turned up, and told me to come home as he had a suprise for me. I was suprised, and excited really! He told me to sit down as he had been cooking a meal at the wild surge inn. A few minutes later, he carried in a platter, with a Cooked Ice Drak,e spices, and other bits! I was shocked that he could have even got an oven hot enough to cook one!
We talked while enjoying the meal, which I still miss the taste of now, mainly about some things in the past, and about needing to be careful now-a-days.
I need to start preparing for this trip to find my sister and her friends too, I mean it's been a bit quiet, not heard of anyone looking around for me, or had anything happen at all to make me even think about it...But each time I pass mothers grave, thats when I know I need to find her, before she finds me, or my father.
-
Yesterday I spent some time with Rain and Dora on dregar, we just ventured around collecting bits from various places, and nearly ended up on another trip headed to firesteep after meeting with a different group, but we decided to stay and head to the iron hills, I didn't really want to watch a repeat of what happened last time.
When I got back to Hlint I sat with Freldo on the benches and met some one that Cole helped once, his name was Steel, but he didn't speak at all, not sure if he was shy or just didn't want to, or can't speak, him and Freldo went off to Sielwood cave to collect materials for crafting arrows. While he was gone I spoke to Storold about how things with him were, he also mentioned Nyyana was feeling better because, because of the help and support Angela gave her. Also found out who Storold was on about in the first place, I thought he meant he had fallen for Nyyana personally because they were both very close, but it was actually Mylindra! Didn't really know, but I do wish them the best.
When Freldo got back we went home and he said to me uncomfortably that he wanted to tell me something, I got that sinking feeling at the bottom of my stomach, and we sat down. I couldn't believe what he told me at first really, he's got children, five children. I was lost for words, confused and very disappointed that I didn't know before hand. Left me wondering if there was aything else he hadn't told me, and I really hope there aren't any more suprises like this. We spoke for a while longer, and then we went upstairs to bed.
-
Memories, the things we will continue to hold dear to us all.
A few days back now, I bumped into Barion in the craft hall, he was with some one called JennaJade, she seemed very nice, and I could clearly tell from Barion's face that he was falling for her. He asked me how would feel if he told me he was marrying again, and I replied that I would give him my support, so long as he is following his heart.
A couple of days later I spoke with Jenna again, she seemed a bit concerned about her worthiness to Barion, and said that she needed to go away for a few days to prove herself, and gave me a couple of letters to give to Barion. Curiousity meant I had to take a peak at what was on the rolled up scroll. And also an enchanted flower to give to him. Her letter was very affectionate, and this time round, I truely hope it will all end well. Barion deserves happiness.
Not long after that me and Eghaas went to the Forest of Mists on Dregar, to collect some fire opals, I did need to get some other bits, but decided to get back to Hlint instead.
We sat on the benches by the bank and he asked if Shelu was my horse. It's still upsetting knowing Shelu won't be back again. I explained that Shelu was one of my closest firends, and about her being a priestess of Aeridin. Eghaas seemed more and more interested in her, and what happened. The story of her end I always find hard to tell, and whenever I hear some one else say her name, I miss her. A lot.
Eghaas then started asking about what the teachings of Ilsare, and then about what our views were on combat. Not an easy question to answer, well actually it is, anything worth fighting for should be fought for, be it eachother, or anything that threatens the beauty of our surroundings, the inspiration of so many things in this world, from Music to a simple painting. Natures beauty - The worlds muse.
Literally just as I started speaking about the things I would consider fighting for, Freldo turned up, and we talked a bit more about on this subject before Eghaas decided to take his leave. I asked Freldo if he had ever been to the Monastry near Karthy, at first I think he made the mistake of thinking it was the one at the lake of dreams.
We eventually set off to find this place I had not been to in many years, and what made me decide that I wanted to visit again was Angelique reminindmg me how beautiful it was. So we went. Upon arriving Freldo seemed amazed, I was too, I didn't remember how nice and peaceful it was there.
This time round though we decided to have a look around the monastry, I was worried that something was going to suddenly jump out and try to kill us. We looked around the place, and ended up in some truely amazing places. High in the peaks, when looking down we could just see clouds, oh and the bottom of a waterfall, a huge distance beneath our feet, we then had a look around a water cavern, and some very ellaborate halls, rmeinded me of the dwarven ruins I found myself in a long time back. The place where that big pillar stood in the middle with an ancient language scribed all over. So many memories flooded back about the story of the elves and the dwarves that lived in those hall once. I'm pretty sure it was where that dwarven village near not too far from the peaks South East of Fort Hope.
When we went back outside, we sat beside a waterfall, just talking. I can't quite remember how, but the topic turned again to Shelu, and again I explained it.
Freldo could see I was upset from talking about it, and the subject changed...He suddenly blurted out from no where that he loved me. My heart skipped beat, I paused and for that moment, Nothing could change how happy we both were. I then told him that I loved him aswell, and we carried on talking until just before the sky got darker. Freldo said he would cook a meal for us in Karthy, and I decided to sit here by the waterfall, just thinking and writing my thoughts.
E ceela aey Freldo.
*she closes her journal and shuts her eyes listening to the noises of the waterfall*
-
Over the past few weeks I've been trying to avoid thinking about what Sedis'ias did... I still hear people mention their own mothers, and I feel like I've been cheated out of time with my own. I guess my way to deal with it has been taking long walks...really long.
At first I just wandered about dregar, I felt pretty lost to begin with, both with where I actually was, and how I was feeling at the time. I walked from one side, to the other, travelled south and north, and then did the bits between, I must have covered most of the continent, I found some interesting places, and even some memories which were forgotten.
After resting in the sanctuary within the singing forest I spoke to a few of the people there. One of the girls I was talking to asked me if I had ever been to the grove in Rilara, sounding suprised when I said I hadn't. She gave little help in pinpointing where this place was, but I didn't really care. She described it as a beautiful place, with a sad memory.
I strolled back towards Pranzis, just thinking about things, I've dragged a few people into something they need not be involved with, particularly feel bad about the letter which threatened Freldo aswell as myself...Though he said it's what he expected after looking about in Leilon. Upon reaching Corax lake, I tried something I never expected to find myself doing. I tried to fish. -Tried- but didn't catch a thing, that metal thing they told me to put in the end seems to do nothing...but after a while I did manage to get one, though no more than that. It was strange, because I actually did enjoy it, it was relaxing, and it did take my mind off of things.
I learnt something too. People need to take a step out of their daily routines, and just enjoy what life can offer, I see people daily, hurt, by their feelings or physically in pain, but it makes no difference to the things we can see, Sometimes the most comforting thing for a broken heart, can be the simplest of songs from a bird. And I'm going to start spending more time doing these things and enjoying what we can, while we can, these memories are the only things we will have one day.
-
Well, after looking about Rilara, I did find the grove the girl in the sanctuary spoke of, and it was a much bigger suprise how beautiful it was when I did arrive, flowers everywhere, the place was alive with colours, I found myself just stood starring at everything around me, seeing the statues made me feel particularly, well, safe, happy, but frustrated at the same time, It reminded me of the bond between a mother and daughter, which is not broken, ever. But I was frustrated being taught this, and not understanding how Sedis'ias could break such a strong bond? I cannot understand, and don't think I will ever understand quote how she thinks or feels. So I just sat, and considered maybe that the bond was never broken? People say theres a thin line between love and hate, perhaps she did love mother so much, that she could not stand the relationship between them? I don't know...I just want to know why. I need to know what has caused my sister, once so close, to fall so far from us.
I eventually wiped my eyes of the tears and went inside the music hall, and just sat there listening to the band play. Everytime I heard the strings of the harp being plucked. My eyes felt heavier and heavier, and eventually I drifted off into a dream. I was at home, with mother, father, and Sedis'ias, we were out in the garden playing, my father joined in, and I remember us all suddenl stopping, mother was coming back from the temple, a smile upon her face as she waved. We both greeted her and she took us inside. The noise of the harp got louder again, and the last thing I can remember from the dream, was my mothers fingers, strumming the strings, plucking them from time to time as she sung us softly to sleep.
-
I had a great knock to my confidence earlier on...A lesson well learned, and hopefully I'll be able to avoid any further similar mishaps. I had been travelling through the forest of Mist with Bee, as we were heading to corax lake, we bumped into Goldwin and Boon, they were going for fire opals, which I had just put into pack! So they asked if we wanted to go Frindahl, We also met Tegan along the way, which did give me a lot more comfort, knowing we would have a mage's support with us. I'd never actually been inside, and so I said yes to going, I knew they were both competent fighters.
We all got inside and snuck through to a door, but a shaman spotted us and they all began casting, suddenly there were 4 Balors in the room, making it very crampt, and making it even worse, all were starring our way. I didn't panic at this point, I kind of half expected something to happen, I could hear the noise of the shamans enchantments I've heard so many times before, and after they did summon the balors, I simply tried the reverse, and managed to send 3 of them back to where they came from...One remained but was quickly dispatched by the others, who also cleared the rest of the orcs in moments.
We then entered into a room, and Goldwin went to see if there were any orcs around, sadly quite a few spotted him, more than planned, and we found ourselves being overpowered, I fell to the floor, bleeding, and watched the others fall aswell...I then felt nothing for a moment, and awoke in what I consider to be one of the most dispairing places of all, before returning through a bindstone in the highpass fortress. So I went back to try and find the place of our falling, only to be shot several times by an orc archer....I thought I was walking the ethereal plane, but sadly, they didn't seem to think so.
I gave up hope and returned to hlint, exhausted, and felt a bit, well useless in the help I was able to give...everything seemed to happen so quickly.
However, despite this minor setback, Life is definitely worth living. Freldo and I have been doing a lot together, Travelling to places alone, but confidently, just sitting and talking, and he made me the most beautiful Longbow made of Mahogany. He helped me from learning about the arrows, to the fine details of drawing and firing, and more importantly, trusting the arrow to do most of the work. I've been practicing a lot, and have become...fairly successful I'd say, sometimes I fire them a bit weakly, or just hit in the wrong places, or completely miss. But it does work. I know my mother would be proud of me finally using one.
I now sit here in Hlint waiting, still feeling rough from my trip earlier, but I know I'll soon feel better, and luckily I avoided the soul mothers grasp, I just hope Freldo's trip was more successful than mine. I miss him so.
I visited mothers grave again a few nights ago, replaced the flowers, and tried to hold back the tears, as I think some one was watching..I've finally come to terms I'm not going to be seeing her again, hear what she has to say about the things I'd tell her, and I'll never see her smile...but I can see the things shes done, to help shape who I am today, I'm thankful for her bringing me up how I was, and I hope she doesn't think she failed because of Sedis'ias.
I wish I could introduce Freldo to her, and thats one of the things that still hurts. I want that chance so badly to be able to show and share the happiness he's brought me, with them.
-
I walked into Hlint earlier on, and as I passed the benches, I noticed a sight I recognised, I wasn't sure who at first, until I started going by, I turned to get a glance at her face, and it was Vivian....I've not seen her in almost 20 years. I was lost for words really, stuttered feeling all these emotions come back to me, I hugged her tightly, but the embrace was not what I expected, a bit one sided, and it was like the Vivian I knew had gone...She seemed very down, understandably too, she spent most of the years alone. No one should have to suffer by themselves, one of the things she taught me upon arriving in Hlint, She was always there for me to speak to when I needed.
I remember one day I was sat by the temple just crying, I missed home a lot, I wanted to go back, and I felt like I had been betrayed by a few of my close friends. She sat with me and shared so much with me, I talked to her for hours, and she made me feel better, and reminded me of why I became a priestess. It's just odd having the roles reversed, And I hope everything I have learnt while shes not been around, will be enough to comfort her. I have missed her unbelievably, and I don't think I realised that until seeing her.
Funny how her name comes up in a conversation, and then she appears. I wish it could be so for others too. I went to the temple in hlint and read the letter Vivian left for me. I felt even more saddened by her situation, and I really hope to see her soon. To be there for her like she was for me.
Please Ilsare, help bring happiness back into her life. Without her, I would have long ago been lost.
-
*sits in the garden of the minaret writing some notes in her journal, occasionally looking up to the birds singing in the trees*
Last night I was in Hlint, and thinking a lot about of different things...How our lives have changed, how they havn't, and an idea for the future, that I can't seem to let go of. For years I have thought about it, but just kept it to myself. I've always helped the temple, and have always been there to help people that are in need of guidance, healing, or just a person to talk to.
I feel in tune with the community again in Hlint, like I know most of the passers by, all of the regulars, but recently I feel that the interest to the temple has not been as, well....The easiest way to put it, is things have changed since then. I find myself having to travel further and further from Mistone, but always have to return to do my service for the church. I don't mind the long journey, but need it be so long? I mentioned the idea to Freldo, about opening another temple, but I'm not sure how the high priests and priestess' will feel about this.
So I travelled towards the Symphony of the Minaret, and went to seek the high priest, to speak to him about my idea, and listen to any he might have. I had arranged to meet with him in the morning, after staying there the night. Sadly something came up meaning he was too busy to make the appointment. I guess I will have to try again soon.
On my way past leilon, I think I saw Sedis'ias...I rode by on my horse, and a couple of figures, starred as I passed, and then when I had gone by, they slowly stepped out into the road and stood there starring, still, making it quite clear they were watching where I was headed....Just before leaving the dock, I noticed one of these figures, peering from near the banks entrance... I really need to get this issue resolved, before she gets fed up of waiting, and decides to take action.
So close once...but where did I go wrong? I lost a friend dear to me, and in my memories, I will always remember those times, but I feel they have definitely been lost, and nothing I can do will change her mind about it...What will I have to do when she sees me, how she will react, all a mystery to me. I know one thing that is true though. My mother taught me to always trust your heart, even if there are things unclear in your head. I already know my heart wants us to make things up, but I still know that the love I do feel for her, is not one that will be returned. It's strange saying I love her, but I guess I do somehow.
-
There are some choices in life, where you will not be the one able to decide the outcome. Sadly today has been one of those.
The day started like most other, and I went about gathering bits and pieces I always find myself need, mainly thistles and hops, after that I headed to Velensk, where we had all agreed to meet, to continue searching for my sister.
One by one they turned up, Freldo first fortunately, which meant we got to spend some time together before setting off, Rain then arrived, then Christine, and eventually Sir Barion turned up, He got his knighthood. I'm ever so proud of him.
We set off to leilon where we had our first lead, we knew the group working with Sedis'ias had been spotted there, but sadly unsure of the exact place. When we reached Leilon's docks, everyone was talking, and Rain noticed some one was watching, he realised we knew he was observing us, and soon took off running, Rain tracked his steps to near a house, where again he fled, this time however I expected him to try something like that....
I popped the cork from a flask, and drank the contents, Suddenly my legs could move faster, and I caught up with little effort, Never drank one of my potions of speed before, but seems they are very potent! I just charged at the elven male that was watching us, and tackled him to the ground pinning him for a moment, before letting him get up, after we had surrounded him.
The first thing I did was appologise for my actions, but then he said 'She knew you would come' I froze in horror thinking he was actually going to tell her we had arrived, I mentioned Sedis'ias, and asked if it was her, and he had no idea who she was, oddly enough he then smiled, saying everything on his card reading had come true. 'A women with a scared face would knock me over' I guess I did, I mean I was worried he was working for her after all. He said that she was waiting and expecting us, I asked who and he said Mother Hatame...I think that was her name anyway. So we proceeded to the Gypsies camp, as planned, and sat there was a group, an older looking lady with them. We sat, and she said we were late! Like I could help being late for something I didn't know there was a timeframe on! She first spoke to me saying, if I was looking for a cure for my curse, that she could provide me with a potion, that would cure me, but only for a short period, I slipped off the rest of my jewellery, and showed the curse in it's full, which she praised me for doing so, and I could feel Freldo gripping my hand still, which did reassure me quitea bit.
She moved on to say that my family was fuelled with Violence, Horror, and love...A sad statement, but a true one...My family has been torn to shreds by her, She then went onto say she was in leilon and was expecting me, the reason being , she had also told Sedis'ias things of the future...So she knew I would be there shortly...
Mother Hatame, spoke of my fathers sadness, how hw had left voltrex to lose all connections with his life, but was kidnapped by Sedis'ias, who know held him. She also kept saying 'Fear Grazird' I didn't know what she really meant, but I could only guess it was one of her brutes...The last thing she mentioned shook me to the core..'Only one of you will leave that place' I frantically started thinking of a way to get around this...to no success...
We walked past the leilon arms after being given the address from the old lady, and approached the building, we were sort of prepared outside, but Barion went to the estate agents to get a key, the place had been abandonned, well looked it, boarded up windows and everything.
Barion returned holding up a key, he then knocked, and some one shouted the doors unlocked, and to come in, it was a loud males voice, sounded quite scary. We finished preparing and went inside...
The room had about...10 people scattered around I'd say, and looking to my left, I recognised Sedis'ias and Aegnor straight away. I walked up and spoke to her, could feel the bitterness of everyword she spoke, like icey daggers digging into my very heart and soul, She kept stating things that seemed to brew up such an anger with in me, One I have never ever felt before. Hearing her voice took me back so many years, and so many thoughts passed by, in a what was just a fraction of a moment..
I could hear the waves lapping up against the shore line, I could see my sister, collecting shells, I stood by her side, picked up a smooth pebble...and skimmed it into the sea, watching the stone bounce, and the tiny splashes of water droplets, making a perfect circle ripple through the water, growing before fading away again. I turned to look at Sedis'ias, her eyes lit up watching the stone bounce, I picked up a stone for her, demonstrated how to throw, and she did...*a few tear stains make the line quite blurry to read* I watched her throw the pebble and it bounced three times...with each bounce she squeeked with delight...
I shook the thoughts of my past from my head, and looked into her eyes, that sparkle I saw in her eyes was long lost, and any sympathy in her voice, gone. I asked her why she had caused all this trouble, and put us through such misery. She said 'Thats simple, it's because of you' I couldn't believe her...how was it my fault? I didn't do anything wrong...her voice started whining 'Ranny this, Ranny that, I was fed up of hearing it' I felt sorry for her, some one that can't understand their own jealously, took things this far, my sympathy for her, soon was dessimated when she said 'Then I started to enjoy revenge, and thats when I decided to embrace it' I called her sick for what she had done, and then, I snapped, her words were too much for me to bare any more...her lips spoke 'Mother called out your name as she died'. *more tear stains making the writing extremely diffcult to read.*
I drew my sword, as she drew hers, and then it happened, I began casting, and her friends charged, I looked around to see myself getting charged, and got quite badly cut, I stumbled back, and healed myself, charging forward and attacking who was there. Slowly one by one, her friends fell, I turned to look at Sedis'ias, as Barion's sword appeared through her back, and I saw her lifeless body, slump to the ground as he drew it back out.
Falling to my knees beside her, I picked her up and embraced her tightly, crying, more memories flooded back to me, We were sitting at our home, eating a lovely meal, afterwards my father sat us both on a knee, and sang to us. I starred down at her bloody corpse, just wishing things had turned out differently. If only I stayed home, this may not had happened. I stroked the hair from her face and kisses her forehead, knowing it would be the last time I did. As I cried just hoping I could change what just happened, and I felt a thud on the floor., the vibrations shook through my knees, and wobbled a dagger, that lay beside my sisters hand. I looked up, to see Freldo laying there.
My heart jumped, and I felt sick to my stomach with fear I had lost him aswell, he had been stabbed by her blade, and looked very pale, the poison clearly taking it's toll, I propped him up against myself, and out of my pack I pulled a potion which I knew would have to help, I poured it gently into his mouth, and watched his eyes flutter as he became concious again. I didn't think things were going to get worse, but a loud scream from Chrissy reminded me, it wasn't over.
I stepped into the room where my father was held, and could see some sort of dark energy flowing around...Chrstine laying next to the bed, lifeless, and my father on the bed, groaning in pain, and looking worse for wear. I was very emotional, and struggled to hold my prayers together as I spoke them in elven, I looked around the rom, and used Ilsares blessings to disperse of the negative energy surrounding...I healed my fathers wounds, and brought Christine back from her sorry state.
I rushed to sit with my father, and just hugged him so tightly, the smell of his skin so familar, and again, with that smell, I could only think of times that once were, Happy times, with no cares in the world really. I was just overwhelmed with joy that he was alive, although he did not seem the happy man he was, but it's never going to be easy, knowing the love of your life has gone, and one of your children too...I understood he didn't want to be around anymore, but I made it clear, I didn't want him to disappear from my life again. Barion suggested the Minaret would welcome him there, and would be able to stay whenever he wished, he agreed to go and have a look, but he said that this land was not his, and wanted to return to the lands where he could live in his memories.
The Naissa, thats who he said was responsible for letting people there, and said he would appeal to be allowed home, I wish one day to be able to travel there, with no problems, but I told him my life was here, with Freldo, but I would love to go home, see old friends, places, my mothers garden. I think I should seek out these people and ask, but I plan on learning more first, and speaking to those I know who can go there at their on discression.
I introduced my father to Freldo, he basically said the same thing he said to me about Trysk after I sent him a letter, but he ofcourse understands the heart picks the people we love, and took Freldo's hand shaking it with both of his. We then went for a quick drink at the leilon arms, before taking sedis'ias corpse to Krandor, with my father, and we made arrangments for the burial.
I miss her already, but like my father said, her choice in life, was way beyond our control. I just pray she is now at peace, with mother.
-
Just a few days after my sisters passing, it was time for some one elses, Some one I had only met once, but enjoyed the brief conversation we got to have at the Leilon arms so long ago. A huge crowd gather outside Blackford Castle, waiting to see her one last time. I had come to believe she was very ill, and was dying because it had gotten so bad. However after waiting so long, golding Freldo's hand, the gates opened for Queen Allurial to walk out, and she did.
Her words brought joy, laughter, sadness,but were very inspiring, better yet, I think everyone was brought very closely together that day, and there was a sense of peace. The clouds parted, and the sun shone down so bright. Something not seen in so many ears, I looked at the blue sky, and so many memories flooded back.
The sunkissed land I had not seen for so long, but longed to see, An angel came down, took allurial by the waist, and lifted her off into the perfect days sky.
Something I'll never forget.
After the sky clouded back over, plenty of people stood around talking, while Reventage sat playing by the tree next to us, I decided that me and Freldo should speak to her in regards to our ideas for a garden, or even a temple of dregar, and the conclusion was that it needed to have a more specific purpose, especially when the world was in it's current state where focus must go to other things first. Which is true, but I will keep the suggestions coming.
-
Weeks have passed since I last wrote, A busy few weeks they were aswell. There were many different expeditions planned around Dregar and Roldem, and I decided to set off and head on a few of them.
The first couple of days I have to admit, I wish I hadn't gone at all. Key, who I'd not seen in many years had bumped into us, and decided to tag along, I know shes stubborn and a lot of people dislike her, but we've never really had any problems with eachother, and actually I like travelling with her, shes careful, and despite what she'd admit, I think she does care for life more than she shows to people. Sadly, she got on Rain's nerves, to the point of the group wanting to split into two.
Was over something silly aswell, he kept complaining she was rushing ahead, but thats what she does, however it's becayse she doesn't get caught doing so, which makes it a good idea in my eyes, I've seen her deal with many situations like this, and it usually works out very well. Rain didn't seem to think so, and kept going on, arguing, she did argue back, so I they are both to blame really. Eventually after the group had to split, Rain assumed that I would automatically be going with him, and stated so. I have no problem taking orders when necessary, but this was ridiculous. Key and me both agreed it was silly to split up the group because of this, and eventually the heated arguement settled down, and we set off. Been a while since I've felt in the middle of some where I don't belong, and I truely dislike being put into awkward situations like that.
Thankfully after this, there were no more arguments really, and it was actually beginning to be fun again travelling with so many, that I rarely do get to see or travel with. We trekked through the desert, the caves, and up towards Dalanthar.
Reaching the Rolling Hills, just beside the stream, I visited my sister, and my mothers shrine, I sat beside the flowers arranging them, making everything look, well, just right. A few tear drops formed in my eyes, and as I blinked, I felt the tears cold on my cheek as the wind blew by, and watched the droplet fall from face, to the petal of a flower below, the glimmering of the light from the tear stained surface. I sat for a while, prayed, even just spoke for a while, in hope they could both hear my words, hoping I'd hear theirs back in my dreams to come.
I stood up, and walked to Dalanthar, where others awaited. Lillian was there and had planned a trip with others into the Rift. Ofcourse I said I'd go, Lilly is dear to me, but recently she has been very odd, a little bloodthirsty...and some of the things she has said to Freldo does worry me, though I know Freldo understands shes being a bit odd. I went along, to provide my help in what ways I could, healing mostly. After we got to the diamond mine, we knew we had to get ready for trouble, a lot of drow I expected....If only I knew how many.
It was all going very well to start with, and then the group became disorganised, and I tried to keep up with the frontline, to heal them, Unfortunately the drow had expected us, and an ambush came by, more drow than we had expected, and it caused a divide between the group, I couldn't get back to heal, I could only heal the dwarf beside me, hoping we would get through it, I suddenly became surrounded, tried to shift planes, Sadly, with no escape, I saw others fall, but I don't know who, the battle caused so much confusion, just reminded me, never to underestimate drow, especially when we're in their home. I later on returned to my place of falling, and met with the others still down there. They planned another assault, but after seeing how many more had gathered, we figured it would be a slaughter, and, actually we did sort of try, but another ambush came about, and we then decided to head back, knowing a lot of drow, knew we were here.
As I came out of the Rift, I saw a silhouette of a very recognisable man. I ran closer and could see it was just who I thought, Freldo, I hugged him tightly, and was so glad to see him. We went back to Dalanthar, and then headed to Firesteep mountains, to get some mining done. A very successful trip too, even got some cobalt too. Everyone on this trip really knew what they were doing, and we had little problems at all, apart from trying to get out of the cave, as Kobolds closed off our entrance, and managed to strike some one down, I think her name was Emie, With Ilsare's teachings and blessings, I gave her back the gift of life, and we headed back down the Fiery Mountain, picking some apples along the way ofcourse, who could resist?
After this, I took rest for a few days, gaining energy back, Before walking towards Lorindar, sailing to Roldem, and making my way to Rodez, whee I was presented by a very pleasant suprise. At first when I arrived it was just me and a dwarf...Gilshem I think. Later Jennara came through the portal. I was pleased to see her again, and was quite excited about travelling with her once more. More and more turned up, as Jennara told us the story of what happened to Roldem, some of it I knew, most of it I didn't. Jennara is such a kind loving person, shes responsible for the relief efforts on Roldem, and has done so well in restoring places as much as possible. We headed towards Silden, and avoided the Gloom fortunately to avoid any number of casaulties.
Later on we all set off to help Reriel with those monks, Jennara seemed a bit concerned, which made me even more so. There was only one mishap however, as we entered the cave, Mylindra got ambushed, but Jennara was very quick to pull out a scroll and use it to bring her back. I was very impressed actually. We went on, and did end up getting what we went for. And more too. Freldo got himself a nice new garment, well I thought it was nice, until he put it on and looked like he was bearing a child, I think he needs to remove some of the padding and other loose bits, then it should be fine.
Freldo and I went back home, and for the first time ever, we sort of played music, together, I sat on the harp, playing one of the few tunes mother taught me to play, and then he sat down on the piano, playing a few notes for me to play, I tried my best although I know I'll never be as good as he is at this. I did enjoy the happiness we shared through music, be it briefly, I'm sure we will do that more often in the future, and I hope he'll teach me a lot!
We sat down, and we spoke about quite a few things...which then brought him on to telling me something I never saw coming. Whenever we visit the grove of slumber on Roldem, he sits beside the Rock, and it's almost as if I'm not there, now I know why. He was with Brisbane for a while..I didn't ask how seriously, I do intend to but I felt hurt, and wasn't thinking all that straight. Why wouldn't he tell me something like this? After the situation caused when he avoided telling me about his children, it had been repeated through this, Why am I being kept in the dark? He spoke about how he was at a bad time, and so was Brisbane, and he used that as a way to get closer to her. Then suddenly the question came into my head, "Was she with Elladan when this happened" I asked, He simply nodded his head and again, I felt even more hurt, but not so much for myself, but for Elladan. A dear friend, and did he even know?
It felt as if everything I worked so hard to regain in my life was slipping away so quickly as the thoughts of why he still sat there and why he ignore me just spiralled, and consumed my thinking. Did he love me? Did he still love Brisbane? Will he do something like this again? His hand gripped mine firmly, and I slipped mine away, asking if the reason he sat there was because he missed having her. He pulled my hand back into his, and said that he was lost when it happened, I was gone, and she was there. I looked into his eyes, and he told me he loved me. I know that he does....I love him too. I trust him with my heart and soul. I just trust theres no more secrets like this aswell.
-
Not quite the day I had expected....I was at home sorting a few bits out, moving things from one place to another, a general tidy up, and suddenly there was a knocking at the door, I opened up, Angela walked in and hugged me, she looked a little concerned about something and said she had been looking for me, after I asked why, she told me that Jacchri had some problems with a lich, and that they could use my help.
Ofcourse I accepted, but little did I know quite what I was getting into until I arrived at Haven to meet with the others. There was much talk of Xolorian, a lich who had tainted both Jacchri and Daeron, who were turning undead. I had only heard stories of these isles in the past, and knew that barely any travel there. I soon found out why. Jacchri provided each of us with rings to ward us against the negative energy that cursed the land. The rings would give us 60 minutes on the isles to do what we needed.
We sailed from just outside Spellguard, and there was a lot of tention on the boat, most people kept themselves to themselves, just getting things ready..As I started focusing on what blessings we may need. As we arrived, we all slipped on our rings, all three rubies shining on our fingers. As I was about to rest to be a little more focused, a demon of some sort came towards us, I barely had a chance to look up, before gasping for air as I fell, feeling the soulmothers touch upon me. I shook my head clear of thoughts, and realised I was actually standing...Feeling shocked at what my body had been through, I had fallen, but was given the gift of life once more.
We all prepared, and finally set off the dock, getting very lost in the snow and encountering numerous undead that seemed to spring from no where, always at a bad moment., Jacchri kept looking for tracks that just seemed to be near impossible to follow due to the snow fall. Thats when the first Ruby just turned to ash and fell to the floor, a lot of awkward, worried looks between faces, merely 40 minutes left to find this lich.
We carried on our search through the snow covered plains, and found a small grave yard, and then, an entrance into somewhere...My stomach got that sensation I havn't felt since seeing my curse for the first time, I followed the others down, keeping a close eye out for undead, and concentrating on keeping everyone, well warded for anything we might meet.
We kept moving on, and eventually reached some water that needed to be crossed, I didn't really want to swim through, incase something was in the water, or the water might do something! Daeron passed accross with ease, and just polymorphed and flew accross, Angela tossed a rope over to him, which he tied around a rock, and so began the climbing accross. I watched some pass easily, some struggled, Jacchri actually fell in and swam across the rest of the way, at that point, I decided to wrap around a cloak I had found, and used to to catch a draft in the wind, and use it to pass across with no problems. Glad I kept that for something useful.
As we all crossed, the second ruby turned to ash and fell from our rings..I was beginning to feel this was really a one way trip, there was no way we could possibly get off alive. We then found more undead, and a portal...it being the only way to go, we went through, I could now hear the whispers of dark curses, through the corridors...I looked around, checking everyone was okay to continue, but feeling very unprepared for a big battle myself, we continued anyway, and in one of the battles, sadly I was too slow to help Elladan stay on his feet, but after he had fallen Ilsare gave me the strength to bring him back. Eventually reaching a hallway, where the undead swarmed us, and darkess started consuming the room, I saw the lich darting from one place to another, in the fraction of a moment, it was very unnerving, I did what I could, healed the others, and even some undead, watching them burn as the positive energy evened out the balance that created them in the first place...except the lich who seemed to appear accross the room, fine, after a few of us put our efforts to him.
The room grew even more dark, and I started feeling drained from the amount of casting I found myself doing. My worries grew, but then suddenly I saw a flrry of arrows pass by and turned to see them all pierce the lich, the darkness suddenly disappeared, and remaining undead seemed to disperse in moments. As happy as I was, the final rubies on our rings grew dark...Alantha ran to check what our options were, two portals, one leading to the entrance of this place...the other she didn't know.
Some of us, including myself decided the chance was worth taking, None of us wanted to become undead like them...
We arrived back on a ship, safe...but Daeron and Jacchri were missing....No one really spoke, in fear having lost them both. I looked out at the ocean, and suddenly I felt the presence of some one next to me, and as I turned Daeron and Jacchri both appeared, normal too, no longer tainted. A loud rumble shook the land, and a bright rainbow appeared over the -once- forsaken isles. The healing had started Jacchri proclaimed. Though it will probably be long time yet until it is safe to travel there.
Upon returning I spent a lot of time with Freldo, we spent a long time talking at the inn, about anything on our minds, both the good and bad, but ofcourse I was happy the whole time, having him there just made all my problems seem so small. We then went on a couple of trips for iron and headed home to rest.
-
*opening her diary, still beaming from all recent events she begins writing, sitting in her bed at home*
After preparing my Toga for the party at the Leilon Arms, I sat at home remembering the trip Freldo and I shared earlier, just collecting things, and enjoying eachothers company. We don't usually end up getting to spend so much time alone on such trips, but it was very enjoyable, and not 5 minutes without laughter between us.
I walked to the Leilon Arms and went on in, no one else had arrived yet, Kali and Freldo were rushing about to finish getting things set up. The place looked lovely, and they really did put a lot of effort into making the place look right. Shortly before heading there I found out some very sad news about Melanna, she wasn't a close friend or anything, but I had known of her for a long time, even if she did not remember me on my return, unless she was pretending for some reason?
Anyway. Daniel was extremely upset, blamed himself for her passing, I tried my best to make him feel a bit better, but this sort of thing is hard to look on any other way. I blamed myself when Shelu had passed, even though I wasn't there, I should have said yes to going with her. So I understood that he could not see any other person to blame besides himself. But ultimately, it was her decision that made do what she did. She chose to walk into Storan's unwarded, knowing the likliness of what would happen...and sadly thats exactly what did happen.
I feared of telling the news to Freldo, especially on this evening, I didn't want to ruin his night. After getting to the inn and settling down, I was going to tell him while it was still quiet, but he had a lot of things to get on with, so I let him. People started arriviing, and after seeing Daniel walk through, still looking a bit upset, I knew I should tell Freldo, incase something on the subject came up in conversation, I wanted to tell him so much, Freldo walked up asking what I wanted to speak about, and I said again it could wait.
I mixed with the others, conversing, enjoying the mood of the night, and taste of the wine. Shared a few laughs with Alleina, Angela and Alantha as usual. It's ashame they don't come more often, but I understand the noise can give one a head ache from time to time! I noticed Freldo walk out into the hall, and decided this was a chance to tell him. "Freldo...?" I asked, he looked at me with a smile and replied "Want to tell me what you wanted to now?" I told him I was a bit unsure whether he'd want me to, but he said yes as there wasn't much that could change his mood. This made things a little easier to bring up, but I knew despite him saying that, he would be crushed by the news. It's rare I've seen him like I did, upset, looking a bit frustrated, 'No...Goodbye?' He said weakly.
What could I do? Everytime these things happens it's never easy, and seeing him like that upset me just as much. I sat by his side letting his head lean on my shoulder, wiping his tears away for him. Being the bard he is though, as soon as there was a knock at the door, he tried putting on his smile, and decided to get on with the night ahead.
I was proud to say the least, and kept making sure he was Okay throughout the night. As I started speaking with Alleina again, Kali offered Freldo a dance, I smiled, and frankly, couldn't wait to see. I nodded to him to go on, as he looked like he was nervous about something, Kali took his hands and began leading him about the room, spinning from time to time. I stood on admiring the steps to the music, and watching Freldo be very careful with his feet. Very entertaining to watch.
Afterwards Kali said her and Freldo would be the judges of a dancing competition, I looked about the room spotting several possible options for a partner, but then Freldo grabbed me asking me to dance, and Kali decided she'd judge alone. The other pairs to stand, Ferrit and Omer, and Karn with Pyyran. It was all very funny, everyone was smiling or laughing. I danced with Freldo enjoying each moment as we spun about the floor, I'd not danced in so many years, infact since I was last at the inn with Trysk.
It was just nice having him so close, knowing he was enjoying himself just as much as I was. I looked lovingly into his eyes and the music slowed down, I slipped my arms around his neck and rested my head against his shoulder. We swayed side to side for a while, and then the music came to an end, and Kali announced we had all won pies.
I went up to Rain and Sonya, who were sat talking, and then after getting back up and walking over to Freldo, not long after we were speaking, Rain shouted for my attention, I walked over curiously, and Sonya looked like she was very uncomfortable, and she them looked to me saying the baby was coming...I started darting about worriedly, always happens at the least expected of times, I asked Freldo for a spare room we could use, and we set her down on the bed, I just grabbed towels, cloths and everything I'd need. Sonya was very brave, and my hand is now very crushed from being held so tightly. She did very well, and gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. I swaddled him up in cloth and passed him back to Sonya smiling. I was so happy for them both, looked upon them smiling at eachother as I washed my hands off, noticing I also needed a new Toga. I got changed upstairs and came back down, Kali asked me where my Toga was, I explained.and she later brought me down a spare she had, which I wore for the rest of the evening.
We all moved around the stage after a while, and another pie was being given away, I'd won one already, but thought why not roll some dice and try to win again.
So I did and it turned out to be the highest roll but Kali shook her head at me saying I had already won a pie in the dance, and then Ralinda's who sat beside me received the next highest. I guess our table was lucky! Kali then stated she would be singing a story, and Freldo and her both took to the stage, with violins at hand. She sang a funny tale of a Priestess of Xeen and a knight who became famous, despite the events of what happened!
After much more luaghter and conversation, the room moved towards the bar, to play the coin bouncing game...I'd played this once before, and was absolutely useless. There were a few of us playing, if you managed to get your coin into the glass, the two people on the left would drink. Everyone pretty much missed their first shot, and mine, went the wrong way, people ducked as the coin bounced off the bar and from the walls. I felt so embaressed. The game went on, and as it did, a few people started using the what they could to improve their aim. Some people passed out from the drinking, or just slumped on the bar, like Karn.
Eventually it was down to me and Pyyran to my suprise. He got his shot in, and I got mine in, I drank, he drank, he took his shot and it just fell short, before I got mine straight in again. I couldn't believe it, I won something that required a good eye, and a good throwing arm, and I had neither! But some how had been so lucky, just seemed I was supposed to be given another pie! Too much luck and too many pies!
We headed back over to the open floor, and a few of us danced again. I confidently said I'm still not drunk, Freldo just smirked michieviously and passed me a frothy ale...I'm not much of an ale drinker, but how strong could it be, right? I took a gulp, swallowed it, felt fine and then suddenly the floor was infront of me! I wobbled to my feet and probably did a few stupid things I'd probably prefer to foget, and fortunately have. After sobering up a little bit, I took another swig, and again the floor was my friend and caught me, even if it was a bit hard. Freldo picked me up and poured a bottles contents into my mouth, and I felt fine again, sobered me up straight away. He told me he had to head off to get on with a few bits of business, and I decided to call it a night shortly after.
First I sat by Steel and just looked behind at Cole's statue, remebering what Freldo told me. Kinai stood behind him, she seems very fond of him, and I was happy to see that he has some one that cares a lot about him. I spoke to Kinai for a while, when a half giant came up telling fibs about most of the Gods, and then I left for home after a good night out.
-
Things never do go quite to plan.
I don't really mean that it's a bad thing, it can be very annoying, but it can mean things turn out better than originally seen.
Venturing from Hlint for the first time in a while, I went to get Freldo some Fire Opals from the Forest of Mists on Dregar, As I walked from Prantz, I don't think I've ever seen so many graves, was quite...an eery feeling, like something wasn't right. I even found myself being attacked by a giant after reaching Corax lake, to get a little rest.
As I entered the forest I saw a couple more graves, one was Kharl's and seeing it made me feel, very uneasy. Kharl used to be one of the travellors I used to feel safe with, and infact had probably even been into that forest with him before, but seeing his name upton a stone, just sent shivers down my back all the way to my toes, Had something changed in the forest to cause this? For a very brief moment I even considered it having something to the markings around Mistone, but none to be found, so I guess not. The giants did seem a bit more organised, and I learnt that I should always take great care in roaming where giants may. Their arrows hurt a lot, and having a line of them fire arrows bigger than me, my way, was pretty horrific.
I headed back towards Hlint to do some work at the temple, and go home and get on with the decorating, as I walked from the north gate to get a drink from the well, I bumped into Storold who had some news on himself moving from Blackford to Prantz, for a while it felt like the conersation was going around in circles, then he finally gave me some incite as to the reasons why he needed permission to move, which were that he had duties there, understandable. I askked him if Mylindra was moving in with him and he answered "No, It's not my place" So I just assumed he was moving, he then said Mylindra was already there!! I didn't realise he meant it was already her home! I was both excited and joyed for them, when I see them together, I can see two people, perfect as one. And neither have I seen as happy and content as they are now.
I walked home after finishing the various bits I did for the temple, and started moving bits around the house, including making the bathroom a little....warmer to put it simply!
Freldo came by briefly to pick up a few bits, said he had polish some gems and enchant them, or something! As usual saying he'd be back, sooner than I could say some long winded sentance, which I did manage to say, several times over too! I don't mind though, I want him to do the things he chooses to do. Oh and grind m gems. So long as he can do that, while loving me at the same time, I'm fine with that.
When he returned we spoke infront of the fire for a while, just sat talking about things, after a while there was a slightly awkward silence, I could kind of tell he was thinking about something, but had no idea what. Then the words came from his mouth....asking if I was interested in having a family.
Feeling so many different emotions, anxiety, shock, excitement...worry, and I gave him my honest answer, yes, but not until it's the right time. We spoke for longer, and started discussing getting married. Freldo didn't want to. Hearing him actually say he didn't want to marry made me feel...unconsidered, to put it into a word.
All my years on mistone, one of the very reasons of my being here...to find and...marry, the one I love. Thinking about the memories I had of going to weddings, and as I thought about the possiblity of me not having one, I think Freldo could tell how disappointed I was.
We spoke for a while on this subject, and during the conversation I suddenly realised....I'm engaged. I laughed a bit to Freldo asking if this was his way to skip a proposal, and he smiled, kneeling down on one knee, asking if I'd take him as my husband. My answer was obvious ofcourse, Yes.
Freldo and I spoke for a while, about different things, plans for the wedding, locations, things like that. We need to set a date, but I'm not too rushed. I want it to be perfect. Just like the dress mother prepared for me, so long ago now.
-
Recently I've found myself seemingly lost in my thoughts, and I hate to say it, but I'm beginning to feel a bit irresponsible to those around me.
It's been months since I've spoken to all my dear friends, I miss having talks with Hanna, Angela and the oters, and I really do need to get some things off my mind, and with Freldo having enough on his plate right now, I don't want to add to it.
Freldo is not himself either really, I'm not sure what is happening, I pray everynight to Ilsare, hoping she can help him see things the way he used to, I don't know what happened on that trip he had, but since that day, somethings wrong. I want to know all the details, but he doesn't seem ready to talk about it.
Deciding to push back the date of the wedding - at first, I have to admit, I felt awful, and wondered what I had done wrong. I cried a bit about it, but ended up putting on a brave smile, and saying if he was not ready, then we will wait.
Is he going to be ready? or have I made the same mistake twice? I don't know yet, I love Freldo with all my heart and soul, and I know he cares for me, but recently we just don't seem to get the chances to stay up all night talking like we used to.
I will just continue being there for him, I know I can't help him with what is going on right now, I don't know the answers to questions unknown also. This is something he will have to find out for himself, but I will help him anyway I can.
The first realisation of things not being quite right, was when I went travelling on Belinara, but without Freldo, and I kept finding myself looking around, expecting to hear the strings of a violin, and the voice of my dearest Freldo, yet throughout the trip, the haunting noise of the wind passing by filled my ears instead. I miss so many things, and right now, his bright smile is one of them.
-
It's funny the twists and turns life can take. Funny for those watching maybe, but I'm not honestly sure if my heart can take much more of this constant dull numb feeling I've had for so long now it seems.
Since Freldo's trip, he has not been the same, looking at my last entry, things have not improved.
I wandered to the Glass lake, in hope I'd see Freldo there fishing, and then seeing his head turn revealing the smile that lit the air around him. So I sat, watched the surface of the water, and waited, a long, long time. Contemplating thoughts and feelings, So many memories from not long ago, yet they are becoming ever more distance with each restless night.
*Ranéwin sits under the tree by the lake, on the outskirts of blackford castle, starring at the carving she and Freldo made*
I've not lost my love, I know what I feel for Freldo will not change, Purely and simply. I love him.
Why do all good things come to an end? The spark we had when we first met, the spark which has always been between us, seems nothing but a flicker of light in the shadows now.
Maybe father was right about what he said about humans, but deep down, everytime I return home and see Freldo, although his smile is there, it's not the one I know is true to himself, whatever happened on a simple trip, to turn our lives back to front and upside down?
I will remain there for him, as little as he seems to want my comfort, or attentions anymore, I just hope he loves me, as much as I love him.
*ranéwin runs her fingers over the carving of the heart, tears flowing from her eyes, she closes her book and quietly sobs into her sleeves as the sky gets darker drawing in to the night*
-
*scribbled notes inside her journal*
I miss seeing the sun in the sky. The way things used to be lit up by a simple break in the clouds. The joy it brought to people. And the suffering that was not there before the lands became so dark and baron.
Hlint is so quiet now. I sat at the temple for most of the day, things in recent years has caused most people to lose interest in the services there. Ashame for the temple. As I watered the flowers, I turned around thinking I heard a familar voice.
I looked to the sky, it spoke again, but was not clear at all where the voice was coming from. I felt goosebumps all over as I heard it. Mother....I fell to my knees in the garden, bursting into tears, not of sadness, but of joy.
Her voice, so soothing, so comforting. I weeped, a soft breeze passed by, almost taking the tears with it. Again, I looked about town and saw nothing, but could feel a warmth within.
I spent the rest of the day sat there, in hope I'd hear her voice just one more time. All that was left, once more, was a memory of what we had. Knowing I'd never be able to physcially hug her pained me so. I felt the touch of something upon my shoulder, looked over hoping it would be you Mother. Calise spoke gently to me resassuring me that she was at peace.
I wish my heart could be the same. It feels broken, and bare. Lonely and worn.
I'm not the same person I was when I first arrived. I'm glad I'm not. I am proud of changes in myself that have been made. But I wish it had all happened how I had wished.
Life presents complications, and we all make choices that further complicate them. I miss mother, I miss Sedis'ias, I miss Kaizer, Sy'Ravenne, Abi, Shelu, *tear stains flood this part of the page* Ayla, Cole, Cray, Trysk, Corsan, Zack, Vivian, Jet....so many that I will likely never see again.
This fact tears me apart on a daily basis. I live through it knowing love will take care of those that love eachother. I love this world, and hope Ilsare and her blessings will take care of what is left, that I cherish so.