The World of Layonara
Character Development => Development Journals and Discussion => Topic started by: jan on September 27, 2005, 11:16:00 AM
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After a battle with some undead in The broken Forrest,Barion sits down by a tree and thinks: Finaly i can take some time to reflect on my adventures and the way i want to continue my life
Before coming to the lands of Mistone,i thought i was capable enough to protect myself from the evils in the world.
When i came here i found out that i thought wrong....
I decided that the right thing to do to get some gold to buy food,would be hiring myself to people to perform some small tasks.
After i excepted the first task,getting the taxbooks back from some ratman living under the city of Hlint,i went in there thinking i would do so easely.
After 5 minutes ,i found out that i was not nearly skilled enough to survive,let alone bring back the books ,by my own.
I was lucky enough to find a kind fellow adventurer to help me,and he gave me some tips on how to go about town.
He also told me that i had to train better and should try to get some coin to inprove my equipment.
The best tip he gave me was : get a group to go with you,because you have to learn your way with the weapons and armors better before you can go out on your own.
After i swallowed my foolish pride ,i decided that he defenetly was right (after visiting the void a few times)
I met a lot of people that where having the same problems i had,and we started to go out together to do the tasks we were asked to do.
We found out that the more training we got,the better adventurers we became.
As time went by ,the normal things that happen to a group,happent.
Every-one went on their own path ,and we split up to learn more from some nice adventurers with more skill and training,to become more able then we would have been if we had stayed together.
I meet all kind of adventurers:wizards,priests,bards,fighters,monks,and e few i dont even know what they are.
As i travell along with them,i start to think what would be my best chance of fame and fortune........
Barion closes his journal with a fast movement and puts it in his pack,mumbling to himself :
"those undead keep coming back and back and back"while taking his sword in his hand again.
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New entry by Barion
I have to sit down and write this ,because its to much and to important to comprihent as a whole ,in one time.
Had a talk with a man named Ozymandias Llewwellyn yesterday.
He told me and shelu about the bloodwars .
I now know something about what the principle and origin of this war is.
He also told us that we can not win if it turns out to frontal fighting with our adversaries,and that we have to find a way to kill the commanders of their troups to get them fighting each other .
I asked him if there were people that could stop the enemy,and he said that he was looking at them,meaning Shelu,me and the rest of our generation,with the help of the hero`s that are still around.
When i asked him how we could train to be victorius,he said that we were doing just that now: training in small groups to work together to become better balanced as a group.
His remark that he thouhgt that the big battle will be in two or three years upsetted me a bit,because we are not even strong enough to kill their minions by large numbers now.( mental note to self:increase training rate )
It is comforting that he will do what ever he can to help when the time is there for him to act(his enemy being blood and all that follow him).
But enough about that for now ,since im still trying to comprehend all that he told us.
Training is going better now,im training alone in the Grey peaks and it seems that the solitude helps me focus better .
I would love to be around shelu more ,but im afraid that i`m pushing myself to much if she is around.
I love her i think but i`m not sure if she loves me back, i`m not good in talking about it so i just have to wait and hope she gives me some sign of affection i think.
Anyway`s, i love this sword i have now and im getting better in wielding it (dont think i have the time to chance my choise of weapon now anyway).
All my training in the Grey peaks tought me that i have to train more with multiple opponents ,because i can take on one at the time now but having trouble if there are more of them.
Also have to find a way to become quicker with my attacks,and some protection against magic to help me with those blasted mages.
I can do damage(not enough yet) but it takes me to long to kill them,maybe i can find a way to hit faster after another.
The hard ones seem to get in somekind of trance or something ,wich makes them completely focust on fighting.
In that state they hit harder then they normaly would i think ,maybe i can learn that aswell.
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New entry by Barion
All the training seems to come together now,its getting easyer to wield my sword and focus on my opponent now.
When i started to intencivy my training , i found out that i had to use my sword more as an extension of my arm
rather then as a sword on itself.
Starting to get the hang of it now,i seem to be able to focus on my opponent more because i stopped thinking on how to hold
my sword during fighting.
Training in soletude has made me finaly understand that its not only the power that you wield the sword with ,
but rather the skill to wield it right makes the difference in a fight.
I'm sure that with the newly found focus i'm a better fighter then i was,but still have the problem of hitting to slow i think.
I think i will ask some friends if they know of a way to improve my speed with the sword.
The multiple attacks i trained are working out nicely,the whirlwind attack is one of my favorites now.
I still dont like the defencive expertise style,but i will try it out more to see if it realy works .
Still not sure about my future tho,since i havent seen shelu as often as i did before i start to long for her more.
It's strange,because i thought that seeing her less would help me to put things in perspective but i mis her more then i could think.
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New enrty by Barion
I'm so happy now ,there is nothing in the world that can make me bleu.
It all started when i met shelu finaly ,becose of my solitair training i hadent seen here for days.
We started talking and one thing led to another, i found out shes from voltrex and ran away from home,
that is...the temple she grew up in.
I told her my life story and that i have troubles expressing my feelings,because i learned that showing your
feelings makes you vulnerable.
She told me that she had the same problem,but also that feelings cant kill you*smiles thinking of her*
I gathered all the nerve i could and finaly told her that i love her ,expecting nothing to happen.
To my joy and delight she told me that she has feelings for me too,but that we have to take it slow.
I'm going to train with her ,every chance i get and i'm going to make her proud on her "brave and warm human".
My new goal in life is to extend my life as long as possible,so i can grow old with the keeper of my hart.
Maybe a verry powerfull sorcerer can help me with that,ill ask aleister if he knows a way to extend life.
*sighs* thats the only thing keeping us apart for now,i hope its not going to get between us.
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new entry by Barion Firesteed
These past days were realy great,training and talking with shelu realy is the best thing happening to me in months.
We are growing closer to eachother every second we are together,and we both like it verry much.
I was thinking of a way to do something realy special,and when the opportunity came....i did .
I surpriced my love in the crypts,(smiles thinking of it ) i asked her to marrie me!
I was afraid that she would think it was to soon,but to my relief she didnt even had to think about it and sayd yes!
Taislin was there and he was delighted just like we are .
We went to the surface and i couldnt help myself.
We went into the Wild Surge Inn and i shouted the news around that we are going to marry.
Shelu liked it much,and she was holding my hand all the time smiling from ear to ear.
Taislin wanted to tell every-one the good news ,and we let him do that for us .
There are realy bussy times coming now,with the preparations for the wedding and the search for a house and all.
We didnt pick a date yet,because we have to tell every-one and need a lot of money to pay for it i think.
We met sy at the tempel and told her the good news,she was realy happy for us and looked radiant herself.
I didnt know why,but later that day i learned why ( smiles brightly ),sy is getting married to!
Sy is going to marry kai and im happy for them.
Shelu thought about having a double wedding,and i will do it if she wants but it not what i thought of when i asked her.
I rather have a nice small ceremony for just the two of us and some close friends,then a big party for all that know us .
Realy have to talk to her about that , and i hope she wont be dissapointed if i tell her .
I'm thinking of the vows we will make ,and i'm not working on mine because i wil tell her what my heart tells me there and then.
Training with her is a pleasure as always,she uses her magic to make me stronger and better skilled and we do work good
as a team now.
I cant stand it if she does get surpriced and falls to the enemy,the feeling i get then is only to be discribed as dying myself.
We are getting better every day and i feel my training with her helps me a lot to become stronger and more skilled.
I can only hope that we will be happy together for a long long time,still have to find aleister or maybe ozzy to ask about
a way to extend my life.
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New entry by Barion
Had a talk with Jet yesterday,he was looking depressed and shelu and i wanted to know what was wrong.
Jet told us his life-story,that he was abducted at young age by a group called 'the crimson blades''
and that he was trained by a man named Hyde after his father refused to pay the ransom.
He told us how he was left for dead by them after he chalenced Hyde,because he didnt want to murder innocents.
He was lucky,or strong willed enough, to survive and he made the promisse to himself that he would face Hyde
if he was recoverd and had found him.
Now it seems that they have almost found him,and he knows he stands a small chance,but hes to proud to ask help.
I insisted that he would tell me if he went after them,and finaly persuaded him to do that (i hope)
Shelu wants to come aswell( ofcourse she wants to be with me) and Jet promissed to tell us if he goes after them.
I hope he understands that he has friends that will help him,if he only lets them.
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New entry
Marrying shelu might take some time to take place i'm afraid,she wants me to meet her family first.
Since they live on Voltrex,a k a the closed world, its going to be difficult to let her wish come true*sighs*.
I'll do my utmost best to go there with her and im sure we will get there ,but it will take time,a lot of time.
We finaly had the kind of talk i wanted to have earlyer,finaly she could open up to me and tell me how she feels.
I was afraid for nothing the last weeks,as she told me now that she realy loves me
and wants to be with me the rest of her and my life.
I told her that i was getting doubts,because she never told me face to face that she loved me.
She told me then that she has the same problems about expressing her feelings as i had first.
"I thought you could read my mind dearest,and i thought you could feel the love i have for you with-out saying it",
she said to me*smiles thinking of that* and i told her that i did,but that i also needed it to be told to me
for i want to be absolutely sure that i'm not pushing myself upon some-one that has doubts.
She took my doubts away alright,and we ((censorred)).
I'm going to increese my efforts to become stronger,because i want to meet her family ,not meeting them
is the only thing standing in the way of us marrying*sighs thinking of a way to get to voltrex*.
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New entry by Barion
Something wonderful happened last night,Shelu and i where fooling around with each-other at the campfire in Rangers Vale.
We were surpriced by a nice old wizard that came to the camp,and i asked him if he knew of a way to extend life.
He didnt know of a way *smiles* he said that he was old and if i found a way,i should find him and tell him.
Suddenly some creature appeard in front of Shelu....i wanted to grab my sword,but felt imediatly that i shouldnt.
The creature had wings and looked like an angel or something like that,and she started to talk to my love.
I only heard some of the telling she did (Shelu was frozen it seemed),as i fell down in praying for this glorious angel.
But from what i heard,i can tell now that we will be together for-ever if we keep up doing what we are doing now:
help and protect the innocents of the world,when and where we can.
I realy am impressed with the display of wisdom of this goddes Shelu follows and i will bind my soul to her altar.
I will talk to shelu and the priestess in hlint to find out more about this believe as i'm interested in it now more than i was
ever interested in a faith before.
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new entry by Barion
im cofused ....i dont know what to do....im angry and sad at the same time...i need time to think.
Yesterday i gave shelu an engagementring and all was going fine...ranewin and trysk asked us if we would like to
rent two rooms in the house they live in ,and we went looking there .
It looked nice its a house in krandor we can have two rooms to ue rane said and we were verry happy then .....
Shelu and i wnt to the inn to get some sleep but ...well..we took a while to realy go to sleep.
Now im sitting here with a letter shelu wrote to me....she accuses me of playing a game with her feelings*sighs*.
She wants to call the wedding off*starts to cry* ...i dont know what to do....she wants her share of the money we saved,
i'll leave her all...its no use living with-out her .
I'm going to wright a last will giving all of my possesions to her ...and end my life fighting if we dont get together again.
i hope to see her one more time before i depart from this world,maybe she can explain what happenend...
new entry by Barion
i talked to shelu now...she said shes sorry and that she over-reacted....she said that she was tired and came to the wrong
conclusions.
i'm still hurting tho..i thought she new and loved me ..but its hard to believe that after this......
i told her i needed time to get my thoughts back in the right order ,witch i have to do realy.
My mind tells me that she maybe not loves me...but my soul knows she does ,its strange but ill listen to my soul...
we have to have a good talk tho to sort things out and i want to know why it happenend ,so i can do anything
to prevent it again.
Maybe my trainer was right afterall : feelings can be deadly if they turn themselves against you.
I'll go look for her now hope she will talk to me,i left her in a bit of a strange way and all.
Now i had the tim to think about it and im not so hurt any-more..it was just a mistake i think im sure she loves me .
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New entry...by Barion
I'm feeling better now,i had a small talk with shelu and it seems she realy is sorry.
It wasnt a thing i did that made her think bad of me , it was something i said that made her think that.
The words that made her think so,i will never ever say to her again.
Altho we talked i'm still not able to get intimite with her because she has me built up the wall of protection once again,
looks like it will take me some time to trust her in the same way that i did before.
I must find some-one to talk to,and try to find my peace back once again.
I want to talk to sy, because she probably is the one closest to shelu right now,because i want to know if i should
tell al things happenend to me to shelu or not.
I told shelu i would never have any secrets for her but i dont know if this is the time to tell her i shortend my life.
Wouldnt it put her under pressure if i told her that because of this i met the soulmother again?
ill wait with it , because i dont want her to feel guilty at my expense .
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new entry
im lost in the world now....
shelu wants to break up....again....i dont know why this time she ment it i think
ive persuaded her to talk about it ,but she was verry ferm ...i hope for the best
but im afraid my life as i knew it will be over soon.......
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new entry
im happy again...we made up...we both need to work hard to make it right
but im sure we can do it she said she will not be so insecure anymore ..and i told her that she is stronger then she thinks
im not apreciating here enough lately..should have told her what it does to me if shes not around
ill make it up...she is the reason im stronger ..with her spells and her love she boosts me up
we agreed to call of the wedding as she is not yet up to it and we need to understand each-other more then we do now
we had a long talk at rangers vale where we both feel at home and we sorted it out
when i write this she is sleeping in my arms in our room ,,i hope this moment never ends
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New entry by Barion
It's been a while since i last wrote something...must have been the fun i have lately.
My training is going the right way now,i almost master my blade like it's part of me.
I'm faster now then i was,think that its becouse of the training i put into it.
Thing's between shelu and me are better then before*smiles* we talked about almost everything now.
I did something she didnt want tho... i pledged to aeridin to take my life insteed of hers if she might
meet the soulmother,she said not much about it but i know she didnt like that action.
We went on a mission a while back,to talk to the people to support the Mistone Alliance.
We were with a big group ,but shelu almost single handedly convinced a lot of people to support it .
She was wearing her weddingdress and she was stunning in it,i was so proud of her.
I have to talk to her about her behavier lately,she seems to get too friendly to a lot of people.
Don't get me wrong...i like it when she has some fun,but her reputation could be harmded by this .
Jet has some trouble with a man named Drouge he said....
He also said that Drouge is one of the type that rents in assasins to get rid of enemy's.
Jet is afraid that Drouge will try to get to him through his friends,so he aske me to be carefull.
Shelu is growing in power i think,she uses a lot of new spells*smiles* and she does that well i may say.
The saving for the house is going well,we have some money set aside now,we dont owe any-one
so we are doing well.
I have a new training ground now..Berhagen mountans its called.
I usualy go there with Trysk and Angela and we met a new adventurer that goes with us there ,Abigail.
I realy don't know what to think of her,she acts ...grumpy....but she also has her soft side i guess.
We will see what happens with her over time...
Shelu and i have spent a lot of time with Angela the last time she visited us*grins*i realy like her.
I think she likes shelu more then me,but i dont mind..she's good company and a real angel
if you get to know her better*grins* and we did.
We both are looking forward to her next visite,maybe it gets even better then the last time.
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New entry by Barion
Yesterday was a strange day...i got a letter from my love in wich she told me she is going to the tempel for a while.
I tried to train but i didnt do much good...i almost fell to some goblins of all creatures.
Fifur asked for some help with the undead in the krandor crypts later that day,
and inspite of what i wanted to do,i helped him as best as i could.
It all went well at first...but then on the way back we messed up,we lost control of the group and we died there .
Fifur died first...he isnt realy good at positioning himself in battle it seems....he ran into the undead and was swarmed.
I tried to retreat to the corridor to stand my ground there..but all ran to and past me,swarming me with undead.
We got some help from an old friend of Abi,and we retrieved our graves.
When i noticed Abi to stand completely alone,away from the group, i asked her why she did that.
She said it was a long story and she only wanted to tell it if i was interested,i told her i was ,that i want
to know the people that im with in combat,because it can save my life someday...she agreed and we went to our house.
She told me her tale,and a sad tale it is*sighs*,she offered somuch of herself to the one she loved ,that she lost
her hart completely she said.
I'm not sure about that,but she believes it so it is the truth as far as she knows.
She told me there is a chance..a long shot...that their might be a piece of her hart somewhere else and if she can
get to that piece ,her hart could grow once more.
i offered to help her anyway i can..and i hope she will take me up on that..in a strange way i like her.
Then something starteling happenend...Angela came by...
I let her in,and the first thing she did was yelling at me.....i didnt understand,so i asked her what i had done.
She accused me of telling Sy that we had been together ,Shelu,Angela and me.
I didnt do that..but i had spoken to Sy earlier,i told her Shelu was flirting with some-one and she siad:
"you only have to worry if its Angela"..i told her it wasnt..that it was kai.
I also told her that i wasnt worried because we trusted each-other good enough to let a third person join us in
our sexual life..she wanted to know who it is...but i didnt answer that...she must have guessed i think.
I only am concerned about Shelu's reputation and i wont talk to Sy about my feelings anymore,she broke my trust .
Then Abi cotinued her tale because i asked her to talk to Angela ..i didnt want Angela to be hurt in any way.
When Abi was done i got som more bad news...Angela is going home..shes leaving us in hlint.
I dont know why yet...i guess i fell asleep as she was starting to tell me why...i hope to hear that tonight .
Its been two days now since i saw my love*sighs* its harder then i thougt...i miss her..i hope she comes back soon.
I did sent her a note: "E mailcca selalaaw aey melemin...( i miss you my love)...E ceela eay...(i love you)...
E amillan il nyerecw ameanir eay..(i want to have a child with you) ..i hope shes alright ..its cold alone...
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New entry by Barion
I met up with shelu earlier this day..it was good seeing her again,we helped trysk get out of storan's tomb..he got cought inthere.
Shelu and i had a small talk then..she decided that she will go to the tempel in the afternoon,
and tries to be with me in the mornings.
Ive been called to help agains a threat of gnomes later on the day...ofcourse i will answer the call..we gather in lorindar later.
I must say im glad that i got something to do..being alone makes me miss her more,
ill train hard to make myself better ...she likes it if i get stronger im sure she will be pleased if i can improve myself.
All her being in the tempel makes me wonder ....is there a place for me maybe in her tempel?...
I'll try to find elledan to talk to him,maybe he can answer some of my questions about being a aeridinite.
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Entry by Barion
Yesterday was a strange day....so much happenend...i dont know where to start....maybe i can start with this......
Every thing around me seems to change...Angela...Sy even Shelu seems to change...
It all started yesterday in a fine way...all was normal...Shelu was there just as she said she would,
Angela was still angela,and Sy as usual ran around hurt from some battle .
I met up with Shelu to gather some sand,we were underway getting it as we met Abi.
Abi and Shelu haddent talked to each-other much ,and i thought it time they did so i told Shelu Abi's tale.
We were talking about her when Abi met us and i asked her to tell shelu the rest of her tale,she did .
They talked as i gatherd sand and when i came back i heard Abi ask Shelu what she would do if
i would leave her for another love...just as she asked me what i would do if Shelu left me...
I was surpriced by Shelu's answer tho..she said she would get over it..it would take centuries..
but she thought she would get over it ...i was surpriced because i would kill myself if she left me...
....nearly did that when she wanted to leave me earlier...maybe elfs have a different view on
ever lasting love then humans,i didnt like hearing that she would get over me ..but didnt say anything.
A long time ago we had a talk with rev about our love,she told me i shouldnt feel its a contest
between Aeridin and me for Shelu's love..i hope she was right,because if it is ..im losing her.
She spents more and more time in the tempel ,but i dont complain its her choosing to do so.
The only thing i can do is love her and be there for her if she needs me.
I hope my fears are incorrect ,that she realy still loves me as she said she did,with all her hart and soul.
We went to Hlint to see if any-one was there and we found Angela and Ranewin sitting on the beanch
by the smitty.
We first talked about all sorts of things and everything seemed fine.
Then Angela said she had to write a letter and asked Ranewin to translate it for her to elven.
She said to me that i should hear this aswell and wanted me to come along as they went to a quieter place.
It sounded like a suicide note to me...witch in fact it was...she killed Angela she said
and has taken another name now: Aikanaro...when i asked what it means she told me : hellfire...
When she was gone ,we ..Shelu and i..talked a bit with Abi about it.
Altho Abi cant feel emotions she though that she understants what happenend,Angela never was answerd
in her real love for others,always was left by her loves even if they didnt know she loved them i think.
I was confused ..but i though : ill think about it later...
I should have thuoght about it emidiatly...we left on a trip...Angela..Ranewin...Abi...Nex and me...
It was fun,we went to the Dragon isles and had a lot of good training,Nex left us halfway but ill keep his
share of the loot till i see him..no-one died,that was a first Ranewin said she always ended up with atleast
one person death in her previus trips so we did exeptionaly well together,we should do it more often.
When we were back in Hlint i may have hurt Aikanaro tho....i was still confused about all that had
happend and when i said i had the loot but wasnt happy i had to collect it ,
i followed with the remark that i wandered if any-one else from the party was to be trusted to do it.
Angela didnt like that remark...she was right i shouldnt have said that....and asked me if i didnt trust her.
I answerd her with something that was right at the time ..but isnt right after straigting out my thoughts .
I told her i wasnt sure who or what to trust anymore...im very sorry i did..but at that time it was true.
Now after thinking about it , im sure i can trust Aikanaro but i will have to tell her that i think
maybe explain why i said that..i hope she isnt too mad at me and all will be good again .
The call i answerd the day before was indeed a threat of gnomes...still is ..i think .
We were asked to get three components of a machine back that were stolen by evil gnomes,
we manedged to get one of them that day, after beating down minotaurs and golems.
It was a very powerfull party i went with but i tried to do my best ...i died once tho..but i was ressurected by the priest.
She said i was lucky i wore a soulstone,because if i haddend she wouldnt have ressurected me.
I told Shelu about it and she said that a priest might get hurt if trying to ressurect a follower of an other god.
Knowing this i dont think ill join any gods service soon, it would slim my chances of beeing saved from death.
I told Shelu that in the future i only want her in my bed,that i dont want any-one to join us again.
I only love her and i dont like it if some-one else can touch her as i do,and dont realy like it if they touch me
in places i only want to share with my love.
It was fun and pleasureble for once...but i dont want to make a habbit of it.
I dont know whats wrong wth Sy lately..it seems like shes avoiding me...maybe she knows she hurted my feelings by telling
Angela/Aikanaro that i told her it was her that shared our bed,i dont know ...but i like it solved so i will try to talk to her.
I'm looking forward to hear the call to strike down the rest of the gnomes..it was a nice experience to be of help
in the struggle for good .
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New entry by Barion
Again things have changed yesterday,but now they changed for the good of things.
I went with a group to another part of the dragon islands..
At first all went well,only fifur was running off to get his training alone,wich wasnt too smart but he ..hes fifur .
It turned bad when we entered a dungeon there ,in the beginning of the dungeon all went fine..
we encountered werewolfs and cows( minotaurs ) that we could handly nicely
When we got further down the dungeon ,we came to a door that was closed ..Abi ,who was there too,said it was a death-trapp.
How right she was ...we entered anyway ,only to find a lot of drow ,and when they were dead a demon appeared
and killed most of us with just one terrifying spell...
After my visite to the void,i decided to wait at the boot,insteed of going back there weakend.
After a whil Abi joint me and waited with me .
We had waited some time when Aikanaro cam to us,she vissited the void as we had done ,and dicided she waited with us.
I talked to her about what happend the day before ,and she said she understood it and wasnt mad at me.
She wanted to show me a letter Shelu wrote her,but instead she found a poem she had gotten from Abi.
She asked Abi to read the poem for her,witch she did.
Aikanaro asked me if i knew what it ment,but i didnt.
After some time they wanted to talk to each-other in privat ,so i left to train a bit in the broken forrest.
When i was home resting ,Aikanaro and Abi showed up at the house.
I lt them in and bid them welkom..then something strange happend.
Abi got real close up to me,followed by Aikanaro..who told me they talked about their problem...and it was all my fault...
I told them: okay...blame me ..,and went out to sit at the water side to calm down.
They followed me out...and then surpriced me with a kiss....telling me they were both alright ,and that they
just were playing a trick on me.
I looked at them closely and Abi showed feelings...and Aikanaro told me she was Angela once more .
I dont know how,but they seem to have heale each-other ..im happy for them .
They want a place to live together now and asked me if i know some-one with room.
The only one with room and planning on renting it ,is brant spo ill take him to see Angela next time i see him .
I had a talk with Shelu in the beginning of the day..spilling al the worries i had with her .
I showed her my vulnerable side,a side i normaly dont show,and we had a good talk about our love for each-other.
As it turned out she can not commit suicide if i ever should leave her ,because of Aeridin.
She explained why she said to Abi what she said,and i understand now.
We grew closer together another bit,if thats even possible,she thanked me for beeing so open to her with my feelings
and saw it as the greatest sign of trust she could get, i told her i was sorry for hurting her ,but she cried toggethr with me
saying it was okay,we need to talk even more about our fears and feelings to understand each-other completely.
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Entry by Barion
These last days were hards and long and strange and exiting all together.
I'm getting more and more worried by Shelu's long stays at the tempel,it seems like she's rather there then with me .
This sounds silly ,and probably is , but i cant help but feeling this way,the feeling of losing her haunts my dreams.
Howmuch more of her being not there i can take ,i dont know, my state of mind is suffering under it and i'm
grumpy and silent to the rest for a while now,always running into battle first to get my mind thinking of other things.
When we do see each-other we mostly are both busy with all sorts of things,so we dont talk alot anymore.
Earlier this week bloods forces attacked ft Velensk.
We were asked for help by a member of the Mistone Aliance to defend the place,and ofcourse we did .
It was a hard and long battle ,with lots of casualties ,but in the end we did succeed to stop the attack.
I was fighting in the frontline and Shelu was right behind the line healing and protecting as much as she could.
O how proud i am of her ....she did a wanderfull job and because of her and the others we won the day.
I met a drow named Ael last week ,it was one of the persons Ozy told me to contact if i wanted to help
in the battle against Bloods forces .
Because of the secretie he wants to keep,i cant write down what we talked about ,as it must not fall in wrong hands,
but it looks like we finaly are going to do something about the forces already on the continents.
Hopefully it will al start soon ,so i have less time to miss my love.
A few days back a lady asked my help in finding a man named Sand Krows, i posted a lot of flyers in the places
well visited by a lot of people ,but i did not yet get a reply .
I'll keep on the look-out for him as the lady was realy concerned about him or what might have hapend to him .
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New entry by Barion
These last days were strange ..i was sad and happy at the same time.
I was sad because Shelu got a case of homesickness and i wasnt able to help her .
Her mother had her birthday and Shelu was sad she couldnt be there .
I was happy because i was able to help a friend rescue some-one from a tempel.
Ael had asked me to help him and others to save the woman that was as close to him as a mother from a tempel.
To reach this goal,they had planned for days ,and made a lot of preperations to aid the group and destroy the tempel.
When we went there under the protection of a invisibility spell,we were 17 man/woman on a mission.
Ael divided the group in two groups,one assault group and one Infiltrate and rescue group.
He put me in the assault group with a lot of other great fighters and healers and mages.
Our objective was to create as big an diversion as we could,to let the other group get into the tempel to rescue
the woman and plant bombs to utterly destroy the tempel when we were done.
We new that it wouldnt be easy,but what we found even exeeded our worst thoughts i think.
Rolf planned our strategy together with Ael and did a great job i must say.
We had a frontline of three people ,followed by a second line of four and they were followed by the thirt line
beeing the healers and mages.
Ael honored me to take place in the frontline*smiles* together with Skarp and Lokri ,two great fighters.
Rolf had his doubts i think,but he stayed quiet and was ready to take my place if something would go wrong.
He didnt need to i may say*grins* i did amazingly well in front.
We went to the tempel and had to take care of the sentries standing out side quickly so they couldnt raise the alarm.
I guess we failed at that,because we were attacked by wave after wave of drow warriors and clericks and assasins.
We put down two or three waves of them before we retreated to regroup and discuss what we were suppost to do.
We desided to lure some of them out,destroy them and then get in the tempel as fast as we could.
It worked out fine,just as we planned we destroyed the group lured to us by rolf and the group waiting for us in front
of the tempel after wich we entered the tempel itself.
Inside of the tempel we were attacked by wave by wave by wave of drow*feels his still sour muscles*that dindt seem to stop.
We must have slaugtered 2 to 3 hundred of them ,when we got help from an un expected ally.
The people and trees from the nearby forrest came to help destroy the drow,we dont know why.....but they did
and we should be greatfull of them for doing so ,because we didnt realy got through their ranks fast.
We had no way of knowing if the other group was succesfull,so we kept on fighting as long as we could,killing drow after drow.
In the middle of the fight ,the floor started trembling and we desided to get out while we could.
Just in time we were out,the complete tempel was destroyed by collapsing into itself.
The next hours were horrible,because we didnt know if the other group was out and succesful or still inside and trapped.
One of our group( i think it was Alanta ) sent out her pixie to look if there was news in saudira where we were to
meet each-other again.
After a long wait we got word that the other group was succesful and waiting there,the joy of the unsertancy lifted was great
and we hurried to them to celebrate our victory.
When we went our own ways after we had talked about it some-more my real reward came....it seems like im respected by
the others for my skill in combat and my never giving up attitude in battle.
Aaaahhh i finaly am becoming what i want to be now...a respected and liked warrior ...by the people i want it from the most.
My friends and comerades in battle *looks realy proud writing this down*.
My only regrett is that Shelu wasnt there to see "her man" doing so well*sighs* i hope she is alright and i hope she returns fast.
Im on top of the world now,nowing that my training is paying off so well,in time i realy will be...................................................
..........................................THE BEST SWORDFIGHTER IN THE WORLD ...............................................................................
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New entry by Barion
Its been a while since i last wrote something ,i've been bussy *grins*.
I have been traveling a lot lately , and now i have the plan to get a group together to travel to new areas set into action.
Together with Kloss and Lokri among others i went to Dregar to collect mahogany and gold ore.
We did well whem collecting the mahogany , we had no losses and we beat the giants guarding it fairly simple.
After that we went to a mine near Ozy's house to mine for gold and topazes.
That went well also ,and it made me think.
I think its time we started to get of Mistone more with a group ,to train and explore the other continents.
As i wrote this ,i already put that plan in action by sending invitations to the people i would like to join me
in this undertaking .
I want a group of about 9-10 persons to go with, and i try to get mostly people that are even in strenght and skill.
So i invited the following persons to meet at my house later this week,Abi:Angela:Lokri:Trysk:Kloss:Roxx:Shelu:Nex and myself.
We first have to talk abput my plan to go out on a regular base ,and i dont know if all are free and willing to participate
in this undertaking,but im sure most are .
The plan i have is to go out once or twice a week to explore together,and think they all like to do just that.
I wasnt able to get a hold of Nex just yet ,so i hope i see him this week.
Shelu has grown in power these last days *smiles happely* and so have i .
I only hope she will be more careful'because she had some misfortune the last days *looks sad and angry at the same time*
She went out with Sy to travel a bit ,and met the soulmother again and when Sy had left her she died again..meeting the
soulmother again,so that was twice in a short time.
I'm afraid she doesnt have many visites to the soulmother left before she dies permanently*sighs*i'm
disapointed by Aeridin ,for not granting my pledge to give me her deaths insted of her, i thought we had a deal.....
aparently not ,because if we would have a deal i would have visited the soulmother insteed of my love.
I'l try to make a deal with the soulmother herself to keep my love alive , ill pledge to her that she can take a
piece of my soul when my love comes to visite her again....i hope she listence to my pledge
because i dont want to lose my love now that we finaly have a place of our own to live and love.
I'm having nightmares about her death .......i dont know if i would survive if she dies ........maybe with the help of my
friends i will,but im not sure i want to live if Shelu's gone ......*tears have fallen on the writings ,and the writing itself is untidy *
I must stop thinking this way because its killing me even now.....as long as shes with me i have to be strong ...
i dont want to upset her in any way ...but im scared ....realy scared of losing her ......maybe the trips ill plan
later this week with the others will set my mind to other things..i realy hope so...
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Entry by Barion
My fears grow as i spoke to Shelu today *sighs* ...she met the soulmother again yesterday.
She was in a party with me and others ,but she left without saying and died before we could find her .
Im afraid she doesnt have much soul left now ..she says shell be alright , staying safe from now on...
but she said that before , and still she got killed .
I told her that our souls are one ..and that shes entiteled to my soul aswell, i intend to give her some of my soul.
I need to find the soulmother to do that ,but eventho its dabngerous ,i will look for her .
Some good came out of this mess ...I asked her to marry me now ..and she said yes .
We will plan the date as soon as possible ,and have a celebration for some friends i think .
I dont want a big party ,im not feeling that it would suit us in the way we are now.
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Entry by Barion
This has been the worst week yet.....i found the body of Sy'ravenne two days back.
She was lying there ,with her sword in her hand,covered in blood,face down on the ground....
I thought she fell,and wanted to pick her up ,but ....she fell alright....for the last time she fell...
fighting to her last breath ,covered in blood ..both her own and her opponents,like a warrior should.
One of the people i called friend has left this life to go to the next.......if there is any.
She was e fierce fighter ,relentless chopping down enemies with her sword ,not always
smart in battle (due to her battle rage i think) but never giving up nomatter what the odds were.
She was Shelu's best friend ,they told each-other everything that happend to them.
I think Shelu told her she liked me even before she revealed her feelings to me .
Ravenne was so happy for us when she heard we were going to marry,that she offered herself as
a weddingpresent.
She always lived on the edge ,but that seemed to have changed for the better when she met Annun.
Ravenne seemed to get calmer and thoughtful in battle and became less wild and eager .
I brought her body to Himlad ,then i went to Hlint to see if i could find Annun or Ravennes mother Nim.
Nim has only been here a short time now , she came to find Ravenne to be with her think.
Nim's husband was killed a year ago by giants that attacked the tribe,and now her daughter died......
it must be hard on her ,but she keeps the apearence up that she is alright.....i'll keep an eye on her.
Then theres Annun..poor Annun....she lost her lover and her friend ...they just had bought a farm .
When i had found Annun ,i had to do the hardest thing i ever have done...tell the news of Ravennes death...
Nim came walking in town and joined us just as i had told Annun the bad news.....they had never met before....
I introduced them to each-other and i was pleased to see that they could comfort each-other in a way.
Annun will take care of the funeral,next to their farm in Dregar i think,shell wait for all that are invited
before she will begin with it ...
Finding Ravenne has unnerved me again ...Shelu could be the next body i'll find .......
Shelu......i havent seen her yet ....i think she has heard about Ravenne by now ...i need to find her .
Barion kneels down and sents a prayer to the sky over mists forrest
Goodbye and good hunting with the rest of your tribe my friend ..........
Hopefully your reunited with your father in the next life........
I promis i will keep an eye on your mother ,helping her if she needs it .....
I was honored to know you and to have fought with you by my side .....
Farewell Sy'ravenne...until we meet in the next life.....keep room free for me.
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New entry by Barion
The week that was bad ,got even badder then it already was..............Ayla has gone to the other world aswell.
Ayla.....one of the first people i met when send here ....the first person to help and teach me....
She was the first person to give me council on how to act and how to work here .....
I collected skeleton knuckels for her,anf she would make them into potions.
For every 6 knuckels i think it was ,she gave me one potion,when i asked her howmany she needed
for one potion , she said : i need 5 knuckels for one potion,the rest i save up to make potions for
newcomers ,giving them a change to get me more knuckels to make more potions to give away.
Ayla was a treasure to this world and will be missed by many.
Then there is Geir *smiles faintly*, he was to marry Ayla..but has a wake for her instead.
Geir was the second one to help me here on this world,running around to deliver post,showing
me more of the suroundings of this world and letting me see how great this world is.
He must be broken by the news of Ayla's passing,but i guess he is one of those that deal with their
feelings in private .
I was there when Ayla passed away for the last time,not there when she died ,but there where she died.
I fell just before her i think,in the haven mines.
With a group,we investigated the mines,because on the way back up earlier we were attacked by all sort of ogres.
I was one of the persons to insist to go back in......fearing for Shelu's life if the ogres would leave the mine....
i now wish i didn't*sighs* maybe Ayla would still be alive now......
When we entered ,we were attacked again by all sorts of ogres ...we beat the first wave....
Going further in,we were attacked again ...we fought like crazie to get them back...but in one way or another ..
When i fell..i heard some-one from the rear call out for help....then it all went black and i found myself in the void.
Later i heard that a mage had passed us and attacked the rear,killing Ayla and Gro..the wife of Skarp.
It was then that i heard Ayla was passing on to the next world....i was shocked and couldent do much.
In front of the mines stood a strange man..he wanted us to enlist in his army..
Enlist....bah...he wasnt even trying to help us ..he just stood there waiting..the coward...
I have been drinking alot to try and numb the feeling of pain...i think i had an argument with Angela later-on...
but i'm not sure ..its all misty what happend later ..i think i went back to the mine..to get revenge...
I'm not sure i did ..but my head and muscels hurt..so i must have done something...
It's the second friend i lose in three day's...if this goes on ..i'm still scared that Shelu might be the next....
Now i need to sober up and try to get my feelings in check..i'm no use to any-one in the state i'm in now...
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New entry by Barion
I've soberd up now .....reading back what i wrote earlier doesnt make me proud...more ashamed...
i let my hurt and feelings of unjustice take over ...and i'm not proud of it ...i saw more then one body on the battlefield
....i should be able to handle it better..but i failed miserebly.
The only good thing that came out of this ,is that i'm looking for a god that might suit for me to follow.
Oh...and i got a bit stronger again...but that doesnt seem to be importand now.....its hours before the wake
they are going to hold for Ayla..it was suppost to be her and Geirs wedding.....
I'll go to the wake and stay as quite as i can...i embarrest myself enough for a while...
Had a talk with Angela...she doesnt hold my behavior against me she said...i hope its true ...
i couldnt hold it against her if she did ..i acted like a moron..a drunk moron...i'll never drink alcohol again.
Now i wll prepare myself for the wake...i'm looking up to it ...but i have to go..i owe it to Ayla.
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New entry by Barion
I had a talk with Rolf the other day , i told him i was feeling responcible for Aylas death.
He,as many others ,told me that it wasnt my fault ,the difference was that he explained why it wasnt.
He asked me a simple question ,that opend my eyes....: Where were you when the other pieces from Ayla's
soul were ripped from her ?.....i then realised that i was witnes and in my mind instigator of her last death.
But that i wasnt the instigator on any of her previus deaths,so i cant be responsible for her leaving this world.
This talk has cleared a lot of problems from my mind , problems i created myself but had help to salve.
Rolf is becoming a realy good friend , im glad i know some-one like him ,he always seems to be in control .
I finaly found my helmet back*grins* i should have known it would be in the last crate ,it always is .
Most stop writing now, i have a feeling the war is getting nearer to the finale,and i need a lot more training if
i want to play a part in the battles to come.
We help the alliance as much as we can , but it seems there is much more to do...
Shelu is still alive and well*smiles* im realy glad that she stays safe as much as possible,it a burden i nolonger have to carry.
She is getting good at crafting i think ,i get her asmuch as possible the things she needs to train and learn,
so that she can make lots of wonderous things ..im realy proud of her ...probably time to tell her i am...havent done that a lot lately.
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New entry by Barion
Had a few nice adventures the last few days...nothing special..if you consider springing people out of jail nothing special.
The Alliance asked us to spring two guys out of Velensk jail,because they were held for a crime they didnt comit.
After a lot of planning we did just that ...getting them out of jail and Velensk,back to Windhawk who was waiting in Hamp.
A week later we helped Windhawk and the Alliance once more , we brought back the lost..or stowed away..
brother of the current lord of Velensk to Hlint...next step will be to get him to his brother in Velensk i think.
Shelu and i went out with a group to get some topazes from Direwood caves...it started out well.....
Then i saw something that froze my blood........Shelu's grave.....i never saw her fall....i lost her in battle....
she was clobbert by ogres......and i did nothing.....(shivers vigerously while writing this down)
Thank Aeridin the Soulmother left her alone this time....she is still with me but a bit more scared of death just
as i am more scared of losing her on such a ...normaly...easy trip as getting topazes.
The last few days i am questioning people about gods and their rules of following them,as i think it is maybe time
for me to get myself aligned with a god to find more peace and goals to live by.
This is not something i go about lightly tho...i need to be sure i can live up to the demants of a god or goddes
before i can try if that god or goddes feels like the right one for me to follow.
Something has changed these last days...we ...Abi and Angela and me went on a trip with Mith....
Mith seemed to have a deathwish or something...or atleast i think he behaved in that way...and i left them
after Mith bought the services of a mercenary to help him and the rest further.
That trip has made me decide not to go on trips with Mith anymore..if he wants to get killed then let him die
alone....not with the people trying to help him...but it seems that when he is in a bad mood,he dont care
about others safety...if he gets my friends killed by doing the same thing as he did that day,ill get him.
Life with Shelu is getting better and better *grins* we have the most wonderful intimit moment.
Maybe i even can get her pregnant...that would be great...a child made with love...its the only thing we
dont have yet..and the wedding ..we need to plan it soon...i fear we will not have long before the war realy starts.
A lot of new people have come to Hlint,yesterday i met an elven girl named Ash..she looks just like Shelu.
She reminds me of her alot ...i only was with her a few hours ..showing her how to take care of the undead in
Broken forrest...but i realy liked her around.
I hope to see her soon...dont know why..but i would like to run around with her some more.
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New entry by Barion
Not much to report realy ...only thing to report would be that next week im getting married to Shelu*smiles *
Had a lot of days training and collecting topazes, and went on a little trip with my friends to Dregar .
Dont know why , but it seems i lose my temper too easy too often ...must have something to do with
the wedding being soon now , and the tencion i feel towards it .
Cant get it out of my mind that Ayla and Geir were suppost to get married when she died.
Both Ayla ans Sy'ravenne fell for the last time when they were happy with their lives, i hope
Shelu and i will be spared that faith .
My temper brought me to the soulmother once again *sighs*
I had a talk to her about her taking Shelu's soul pieces so easely,but she just laught and told me
to mind my own buisness.
Sitting here alone to reflect on my death is making me understand that in the end,every-one is alone.
Looking on the bright side you could say that i finaly had the time to write in this journal again.
I have decided that this journal will be open to all to read after i had my final date with the soulmother.
Maybe some-one else can read it and have a laugh on my expence or learn something from the mistakes i made.
That,and my peace of mind keep me writing in this journal.
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New entry by Barion
Yesterday was another bad day....i met the soulmother and blamed myself ....Shelu laught right in my face,
when i told what mistake i made ....nim just stood there and grinned .....only Rylok understood how i felt i think.
It all began when i met Shelu in Krandor ....i was buying things for the house , and when i came out the store
i saw Shelu walking by as a ghost*sighs*
After the shock of her being killed , my anger took over ....i found out that she had fallen in the Krandor crypts.
She tried to help me with spells i think ..but im not sure ...my anger made things blurry....
With my sword drawn i rushed in the crypts to get revenge....only my sword....i died in seconds..and met the soulmother.
When walking back to our graves ..i finaly realised what i did ...i made the mistake that costs lives...
I went in with-out armor or any defensive spells, not even my shield in my hand ....i was foolish and stupid.
We met Nim and Rylok on the way to Krandor ...and i blurred out what i had done...Shelu laught at me ...
right in my face she laught....i felt like exploding ..but i kept my cool and walked off to Krandor.
With the right preperations it was easy to get to our graves*sighs deep* if only ....
When we were out ,i tried to explane to Shelu why i was mad at myself...i dont think she understood.
Being a fighter as i am ,it is important not to let anything get in the way of sound thoughts in a battle or
just before one, because if we ...the frontline...fall, the rest is easy pickings for the ones that attacked in the first place.
Knowing that we can only learn from it by being hard on ourselves,thats just what i did ...being hard on myself.
Shelu only wanted to cheer me up i think , but thats not what i needed..i hope one day shell understand.
The strangest thing was that i was more hurt by her laughing then the death itself...
Maybe its because im afraid of the wedding or something...i am not in control over my nerves anymore
since we disided to set the date ...i feel scared and happy at the same time....dont know why..but i do.
I can only hope that that feeling will go away once we are married ...if not it might be better if i put down my blade.
Hopefully this will work out fine...but im not sure ...
Who am i kidding? i know it will be alright !!!!*this line is repeated numerous times as-if to convince himself its true*
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New entry by Barion
These are the worst times one could have *sighs crying*Shelu is no more*ink has made the letters to get blurred*
After hiding from all the last days , i had a talk with my friends and with Reventage today,the day we were suppost
to be married*cries and stops writing for a while,burying his head in his arms*
*after a few minutes he returns to his journal*
I didnt want to listen to them at first...but in the end i know they are right...how hard it may be...i have to go on...
Shelu wouldnt want me to stop living...i had to promiss her a few weeks back that i would go on if this happend.
*some lines that where here are completely wiped out by the tears shed on them*
They are right..i have to cherish the memory of all the adventures we had,every kiss we ever gave each-other
will be burned in my soul and every talk we had i will remember.......
With the time left to me i'll have to be the man she wanted me to be...i will see if i can get her things back to make
one of the rooms in the house a place were all that want to,can go to remember her and think of her .....
After the talk with Reventage ,i went to the tempel of Aeridin and prayed....im going to see if its possible to
be a follower of Aeridin ..his teachings are good and there is much wisdom in the things he teaches.
*this is the prayer he spoke at the tempel of Aeridin in the sielwood forrest*
Aeridin......in all your wisdom you have decided that it was time to call your cleric and my love to your side..
Please be good to her, she was and still is a loyal follower of your teachings....
Let her know i will always love and miss her ...and i hope we are reunited if its my time to go...
Shelu U'alarune ...my love and mate ....i'll try to live on ...but it won't be easy.....
I am going to do the best i can to become the man you wanted me to be.....
I will never stop loving you and will never forget what we had...i miss you ..and im feeling alone at times..
but the memory of you will help me to go on...E ceela aey Shelu U'alarune ...
E ceela aey sa neanana....( i will love you untill the end of time)...
I never will forget the time i told you i wanted a child with you ...i told you :
E amillan il nyerecw ameanir aey....(i want to have a child with you)...you answerd:Elka ela?...(only one?)...
This kind of memories will keep me up and running ..the way you always saw the good in everything...
The way you loved me and held me...comforted me and made me smile....keep an eye on me from above..
Your "wondefull human " will make you proud ...im time we will meet again....i wont rush it ...
But i can hardly wait to see you radiant as ever ....goodbye my love ....think of me from time to time...
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New entry by Barion
I can't seem to find the time lately to write in this journal,i will have to make time i think.
My whole life is upside down now ...i grew closer to Ireth during our talks about me being left behind...
But the love that is growing in me can not be answered, she has Jet and is realy happy with him....
When i met up with the other woman i already knew and like , we had a talk ...she is thinking she's in
love with some-one ...some-one i know probably she said...it seems that Ash isnt going to answer my love ...
My love for another woman will never be as deep as my love for Shelu was and still is...but i'm lonely now...
Cant help but remember the story Reventage told me.....it was about a person that was pure love and found the pure love
in another ...but there can only be one at the time of them....so while teaching the new one ...the old one dies...
It sounds strange writing this down , so i think im missing something in the story that she told me...
But the thing i did remember was that the one left behind was to take the place of the one that left....
Maybe i should try to be more like Shelu was..loving and caring for all that she met ...maybe i should love again.
Because of all that is happening around me,i dont feel very comfortable around Hlint anymore...
My training requires more challange then i can find here,but it seems to be impossible to form a nicely
balanced party to go to other continents here.
Maybe it would be better to move to another place....leave all behind and try to start anew...but still...
Leaving all my friends is not what i want...i dont want to go and leave them ...if only i could find peace again...
When i died a few days back,i felt a pressence...it stopped me from going into the void...while i was wondering what
was happening i...i knew what the pressence was ...it felt like Shelu...i recogniced her ...dont ask me how,but i did.
A short time later ,it turned out she was right *smiles* i was ressurected by a clerrick...she must have known this..
When i returned to life,i was smiling and felt at peace...not with my life,but with her being in a better world.
She must be watching over me..and i'm afraid she doesnt like what she sees...i'm more busy trying to save the
relation Ireth has with Jet , then i am working on getting my own life back in order.
*he sits back in the house and reads the things back that he has writen *
Reading this back,i think im right ...i may need to start anew...ill let my dissision be made by the next couple of weeks...
If nothing chances i will try and get a camp on Dregar...i think my training there will help me improve more then staying.
-
New entry by Barion
Having made a few desicions,i will write them down for others to keep track of my motives once this journal will be
open for public view.
After being training mostly alone or with close friends,i have desided that my way of life has to change a bit.
The biggest change will be,that the symbol on my shield,will be more then just that,a symbol.
After talking to a lot of different followers of most gods,i have decided that there is only one god i would offer
my pledge to and that will be Aeridin.
A lot of self exploration and two talks,one with Geir and one with Elladan,have made me come to this desicion.
I was afraid that Aeridin would deny me for all the wrong things i have done in the past,but both Geir and Elladan
told me that the service to a god starts the moment you feel him or her in your hart.
After thinking about this,i came to the conclusion that Aeridin is guiding me longer then i can remember,
helping me to protect people and help others.
The one thing to do now is to pray to Aeridin and hopefully He will accept me as one of his followers,i hope that He will
give some sort of sign,so i know if He will accept me.
The second change is not that big,but will be harder to uphold i think.
From now on ,i will keep my feelings about others to myself,a thing i'm not used to towards my friends.
The feelings of love i have towards Ireth,would only cause trouble if i would reveal them and i don't want
to risk the friendship we have now so i will keep them to myself.
There are a lot of new people in Hlint now a days and i find it refreshing to see that they all remind me of the time i came here.
Somehow it helped me refocus to the important things in life,like training and helping and most important of all..living.
After i finished the room i was making for Shelu,and the time i spent reflecting on our life together,i think i'm ready to
realy start living and loving again altho i will never love any-one as i did and still do my soulmate.
Another good thing that is happening is that many old and dear friends have found the time to come to town oncemore.
I like talking to them and hearing how they have been the last times,and am pleased hat they all have learned a lot.
Because of my self inflickted solitude from time to time,i am now getting better at making weapons.
Now i have a small chance that if i'm working iron,i realy make something usefull*grins wide*
Another thing that happend this week has made me happy.
I was standing in Hlint talking when Rolf walked past me and asked me if i would like to come along to Firesteep mountans.
Ofcourse i wanted that and i was honored that he asked me*smiles*
With a group we later went there,and i was honored again when they lined me up as frontline fighter.
With help of the magic of Rolf and a wizard named Rashar i was able to stay in the frontline and do my job well.
We went deep into the mountains to mine adamantium and had to fight very powerfull guards to get it.
The only two things that went not so good,was the unfortuned death of Varka( who was raised by Rolf) and the
fact that we didn't get too much adamantium,but for the rest it was a succesfull trip.
The rest of the group consisted of my other friends Ael,Angela and Abi and we worked together as a good team.
I later found out that besides Ael,the others are in a group called The bloody hand and go out on a regular base together.
Maybe i can join them on more occasions....i'l have to ask if that is possible..because i realy liked the change this time.
Love, i know you keep an eye on me and i know you like the changes i make in my life now.
Also i know that you don't want me to live my life alone,so i will try to get back in the game of living and loving.
Remember that i will never be able to love another as i love you,and that we will meet again .
-
New entry by Barion
The last few days were horrible...i was in Fort Llast when there was a request to investigate on the tremors around town.
Ofcourse i wanted to help..so with a large group we went investigating...
After somethings had happend,we ended up in a cave with umberhulks that were guarding something.
We as a group decided to go down in the caves,destroy the umberhulks as we walked deeper,to find out what they were
guarding.
When we finaly came to the last room deep in the cave,we had trouble opening the door as even Abi couldnt do it .
Some of the group went to explore more while some of us stayed there and kept trying to open it.
As i heard the door was trapped,i positioned myself in a matter to shield Jil and her unborn child with my body.
Nothing realy went wrong there so it wasn't needed,but i promissed Daren and Jil on a previous trip that i would look
after her,so i did .
After a while we were called by Ael,they had found another door and opened it,most of us followed Ael to the other door.
On entering the room,i saw a mindflayer and attacked with-out thinking...*sighs*...the moment i hit it....i knew....
In my eagerness to destroy all evil i met ...i killed the mindflayer with one stroke of my sword..*sighs*..and then i saw...
I could not believe myself....my mind went blank...and i must have been standing there for a long time...hurting...praying..
I KILLED A CHILD.....a mindflayer child,but still....a child.....*shivers all over his body while writing*
When i came to my sences again,the rest seemed to be in conversation with the elder mindflayer present there.
I do not know what was talked about,since my mind was shielded with a spell,but i later heard that he aswell was
troubled by the tremors , just as we were.
Most of us dicided to leave,but a few stayed behind..Sahala who has a hatred towards mindflayers,attacked the thing.
And the rest there present helped and destroyed the thing before i got back....
I had left with the others *sighs*
When i followed the others and caught up with them,i was hurt in a way i can't describe....
I overheard Angela saying to Varka"I will not travel with childkillers"meaning me....she saw the killing,and imedietly judge me...
I thought i had build up some credit..but i guess i didn't...*sighs*..and i cant even blame her for it...she is right,i killed a child.
After we went to the druidgrove in the High forrest,we desided that we need the help of others to find the source of the tremors.
When i left,i bumped in to Varka...i talked to him a bit ..and i asked him to talk to Angela for me..but i dont know if it will help.
I have desided that i will not go talk to her..all the problems we had before ,i was always the one making up
Now it's time she takes her own responsability,and come to me if she wants to solve this...*sighs*...maybe she'll do ..maybe not
I nolonger want to be the one always trying to solve things ...if she is mature enough she will come to me for a change and
take the responsability for her own actions and sayings and not wait for others to come to her to solve it,if thats possible.
Eventho bad things happend,something good happend too....*smiles thinking*....as i met Ash and went traveling with her.
She asked me if i could help her get silk from the sielwood and ofcourse i helped,after that we went to the cave there
and cleared it of creatures .
When i asked her if she needed anything there, she said no..i asked her why we went there then,and she told me that
she hates goblinoid creatures.
I told her that i didn't usualy kill for no reason,and that i would go out to rest in the vale.
She went with me and after the rest i asked her if she wanted to see the places i like.
She smiled and told me that she would like that,so we went on a little tour of the lands*smiles*
First i took her to Lar..i realy like the view when standing there on the high hills and look down*grins*
She told me that she went there herself,and if she made it alive,she stood there to think and clear her mind.
After we eaten something i made for her,we went to the inn to rest.
On the way back through the grey peaks,i showed her another place i go to to calm down and think.
When we stood there*smiles* we started talking and i finaly gathered the nerve to tell her i realy like her.
While i was not sure of her feelings,it was the nicest thing i heard then..she realy likes me too*smiles*
I dont know if she only likes me or loves me,but i'm happy either way.
If anything between us will happen,then it will in time as i'm not going to rush her or my feelings*sighs*
I hope for the best tho...i realy like her more then is good for a lonely man and so i hope she loves me.
It is fun to run around with her to places i havent been in a while*smiles* i told her it is good to have her around
anywere i go and she smiled and blushed but didnt say anything...
My love life is like a circus lately,i love more women at the same time but are not intimitly involved with any of them.
As i am a man not dating more then one,i guess the first one that wil answer my love will be the one for me.
I know i will be happy with any-one of them,since the three of them are similar in more then one ways.
All three are gentle and nice to talk to to..but only Ash is not involved with some one else..at least i dont know it.
Ireth is involved with Jet,and i consider them both as good friends.
And Ferrit is involved with Kyle,and is going to marry him soon,and i see them both as friends too.
So in order for me to start something with either Ireth or Ferrit,their relation should first be ended and since they are both
happy now,i dont hope that either will end..not if i can help it ...
Now i'm going to lay low for a while,and wait for the things to come..i,m more unsure then ever about Aeridin accepting me
*sighs* but i hope that in His wisdom He will forgive me for taking the life of a child...maybe he sees it as others do...
a favor to humanity for as it would be alive,who knows howmany would have fallen to it,as Pendar said,
"The food of a mindflayer is in its name ..minds...you cant teach them tro eat fruit..no matter how young they are..
they eat minds....every meal is an innocents life ended ..you did the world a favor by killing it"
I only hoped that it would feel that way *sighs*i cant help but feeling bad over the whole thing...a child*sighs*
*After sitting and thinking for along time,he puts his journal away and stands up and walks to his bed*
*While the sleep gets him in his grasp,he shakes and shudders........dreaming of the sight of a dead child at his feet*
-
New entry by Barion
I'm tired lately...it seems i dont sleep good or something..i'm waking up more tired then i was getting to bed.
I had a small talk with Angela...she said she was sorry and shouldnt have said the things she said,and asked me
to forgive her *smiles*
Ofcourse i forgave her ..she's my friend ..and she was right ..if only i could forgive myself...*sighs*
I havent seen Ash the last days,i hope i didnt scare her off by saying i like her a lot...i guess time will tell.
I was honoured today by a letter sent to me by Geir,the Raven trading company wants me to join them*smiles*
I did sent a letter back to Geir,explaining that i'm not as good as he might think but that im working on my skills hard.
I'll start praying to Aeridin to ask him if he will accept me as a follower...i hope he does...if not..i wont follow another god
or goddes..because i realy feel that only Aeridin is the god for me...i hope for the best.
I have to remind myself that i need to train and not only craft*grins*i like crafting,but it sure takes a lot of time to get better.
Not to mention the gathering of the things i need *sighs* i seem to have a bad luck streak lately...
-
New entry by Barion
It's been a while since i last wrote something..I've been busy crafting*smiles* and living.
My weaponmaking is going better and better ,i now can make iron weapons with relative ease.
Things around Hlint are a bit slow lately and it gave me time to do some other things.
I never expected to be able to fall in love as deep as i am now*smiles* but love is stronger then
most things in life,it's an unstopable force that makes or breakes you...*smiles*
Since i was crafting a lot,i havent seen Ash much lately...until yesterday*smiles*
We met in Hlint and as usual i asked her if she wanted to do something with me *grins*
She said "Sure .. 'she smiled and told me that she likes doing things with me .
I asked her what mood she was in ...fighting or talking ..and she told me that when i'm around
she doesnt realy care what we do ...*smiles*
She told me that we could go talking so i told her that i would love that,but only if she realy likes and trust me
"Okay...then we go talk" she replied ..and we went to the Rangers vale to talk to each-other.
When she asked me what i wanted to talk about,i told her that i wanted to know everything about her...
"because i realy like you,and maybe even like you too much" i told her*grins*
She answered "You cant like some-one too much "and she smiled looking at me ..
I told her that a love un-answered hurts more then a deadly wound ....she smiled...and told me that a love
answered is a dream come true ....and while looking at me she told me that we HAVE a dream come true
At first i didnt understand...or couldnt believe my luck...so i asked her if she loves me ...*smiles*
She does ...she told me that she loves me ..ME..for my good hart..and my kind manners ..and even my looks.
Thinking back ...i could have known earlier ...we walked out of Hlint to the Vale hand in hand *smiles*
As if doing that all the time i reached for her hand when we started going there and she took my hand as if
she always does that,it felt so ...natural that i didnt think anything about it then ...*grins*
We kissed after our talk ..i told her what happend in my life ..for the most part...and she told me her life story
or at least what she was willing to share ...i guess we will talk more and get to understand each-other more
while doing so...i feel calm and happy when she is around ....she gives new meaning to my life ...
I told her about Shelu....and that i think Shelu would like her and would aprove of us going together...
She didnt pull away ..she accepted that i had a love like Shelu before her..and said that she was happy.
I knew some things about her already ..but found out some new things too*smiles*
Ash realy doesnt like rooms,it gives her a feeling of being closed in and she doesnt realy like water...
she rather has her feet on solid ground *grins*
Many things happend the last week...people long dead returned to us ....no one knows why...but it happens.
Ayla returned .... i met her in Haven mines ..i was caught off guard and fainted ... we talked and she realy is back
She doesnt know how or why ...but she's glad to be back...she hasnt seen Geir yet ..i dont know how he
will react ..i tried imagening Shelu coming back ...but i dont think i could take it ...i would be happy..
but also would know that the chance is there that iwould lose her again..i wouldnt survive that ...*sighs*
For some reason i know she knows that ...and wont return ....she rather have me living a happy life with Ash
then risking me dying over her if she would come back and die again.....she watches me from above,and
knows what happens to me *smiles*i feel her presence now and then...and feel that shes happy .
My training is going slowly lately...my crafting is realy time consuming...but i will be able to make my
own blade one day *smiles* and expect a lot of it if i finaly made it ...
I did get stronger over the last week ..i now think i'm strong enough to get a heavier armor ...and a new blade..
The armor wont be a problem ...the Raven Company has a realy good armormakr in the person of Skarp...
He told me that he would try to make a platinum full plate for me ..and i've been gathering platinum eversince.
The blade..*sighs* that might be difficult to obtain...i now need a adamantium one ..it's better in balance and
easier to handle i think ..but adamantium is hard to get ....deep in Firesteep mountains are vains..
I'm not able to get there alone ..not even with a small group i think ..only the realy strong and prepared ones
survive there ..i went there once with Rolf..Rashar..Varka..Abi and Angela..we had a tough time then.
Maybe i can buy a adamantium blade *grins* money is not a problem,the undead in Broken have made me rich.
I stil didnt try to get aproved by Aeridin ...it may be fear for not being accepted...or something else..i dont know
This dicision is too important to take with-out feeling absolutely sure ...so i'll wait till i am sure .
-
New entry by Barion
It realy has been a while since i last wrote something*sighs*
Reading back what i have written,makes me realise lot of things have changed.
My lovelife has been completely changed,and the rest of my life is ready for a big improvement.
Ash and i have broken up....completely my doing..and i hurted her *sighs*
I did not realise that for her time has a different meaning then it has for me ...
For her a week is just a small amount of time...for me it is a long time ...
We were not seeing each-other in weeks and it was bothering me much...
To her i gues it was just a small time and she thought it was okay...
After a few weeks i couldnt cope with it nomore and ended our relation*sighs*
To my surprice, i was swept of my feet like a love sick puppy a few weeks later...
Sabrissia is her name,a very nice and kind wizardess,new to these parts but a force already
beginning to grow.
We met and we started talking ...she dropped the bait that she didnt see much of the lands yet
And i took it line,hook and sinker*smiles* i offered to take her and some others along on my way to
get topazes .
We got to Hampshire and i needed bandages,so we went to buy them there ...then something happend...
While i was in the bank getting gold for the bandages,Sabrissia blew up the door of the bank*grins*
The clerk thought he was beeing robbed and called for the guards wich were there realy fast.
They asked what happend,and the clerk told them a young woman blew up the door to rob him .
As i was traveling with the group,i felt it as my responsibility to try and clear thing up,so i tried...
While i was talking to the guards, Sabrissia came back and was taken the moment she entered.
After some pleading i managed to let her pay for the door and no charges were made.
We then went to the cave...all went well,and the ogres were easely defeded.
Then something caught my eyes...a demon..an ugly demon in the cave....
I told the rest o run and confronted the demon to give them time to get out ...
I did hurt it ..hurt it a lot even*sighs* but not enough to kill it ...i killed me.
What happend next i only know for hearsay,but i do not doubt its the truth.
They came back to collect my body and bring it to Velensk....
On their way there they met Rolf and one of his friends....
Rolf went to the cave first to kill the thing with help of Mist and then came looking for us *smiles*
He recogniced me and raised me ...i heard from the others that he said he raised me because im his friend
I thanked him and was worried about the demon running around but he told me he killed or sended it back
As always after defeat *sighs* i doubted my skills and strenght,but Rolf told me that very few man could
have hurted the monster in the way i did*smiles bright*
We had some demons come into Velensk and we destroyed them with ease,after wich Rolf had to go.
Sabrissia and i were left in the end , so we started talking more *grins*
I knew then that i was taken by her,the feeling i had when she had to go can only be described as pain...
We met a couple more times and i started to show her around nice places a bit,when she talked to me..
When i took her to look at my house she barged into every room...
She asked me were i slept so i showed her...then she barged into the room i build for Shelu....
I yelled stop...but she was already in....i followed her in and she asked me who the woman on the
portrets was.....
I sat her down and told her my tale of loss and grief*sighs smiling*
As i told her and showed her the things i saved,she kept looking to me and cried for me...
She was so sweet *sighs* she was so pure*smiles* my hart smelted and i was lost...lost for the rest
of the women out there..I only would belong to her from then on...
She held me when i was finished and she told me we could help each-other and kissed me softly...
When my lust took over she pulled back...she never had been with a man ...and we decided to take it slow.
We went down and drank some ale*grins* we both were not able to withstand he alcohol..
Nothing further happend and she stayed and fell asleep in my arms...
The next couple of days things were strange and hurting*sighs* as rumors started to emerge....
I was beeing the talk of town ...they wondered who i would love that day as the day started..
Asif i would have more then one woman ...I thought they knew me ...guess not all know me *sighs*
Rumors about Sabrissia started to turn up aswell...she was said to have an other relation*sighs*
I tried to find out and got help from my friends doing that ...she was living in the house of an elf
named Lilsacalala....When i saw her again i asked her about it.
She told me that they are only friends,and she wanted me ..
We had a wonderfull night together that i will never forget...
We fell asleep together in my bed after i had given her a key to my house...she will move in soon.
The next day as i woke up...she was already gone...and i feared she went to Lilly (as she calls herself now)
I didnt see her for a few days and kept myself busy with gathering things for the company..
After that my mind has still got a blank spot,for i do not know much ...but somethings i have done and said
are not what you call nice or kind...*sighs*
In Tyr and in Ran i found two persons i can talk to ...so i did ...Ran took it upto her to talk to Sabrissia...
I dont know what she said,but it worked...*smiles*
Yesterday Sabrissia came to me ...she needed to talk to me...i feared the worsed..but was afraid for nothing
She told me what happend , and i wont write it here for it is something no-one needs to know...
She assured me she loves only me and told me that she returned to her faith...
She also told me that the blackness in her heard was gone and that i was responsible for both those things.
According to her i am her strenght in life and magic and i am her link to her goddes*smiles*
Finaly it seems i found a love that will stay and love me and that wants to see me and be near me most of the time
After i wrote this,as a sign of trust and love i have lended her my journal....so that she can learn more about me..
So she can easely get to know me ..my weaknesses and dreams and failures and loss is all documented inhere.
She will know what and who i am *smiles* and she will read things she never would suspect i think..
I am sure it will help us get closer together..and i will read her journal as she has suggested to get to know
her better and understand her *grins*
Tomorow will be a new day full of love and kindness...i am happy again ...thanks to my Sabris*smiles*
-
*Barion reads what he last has writen and smiles*
"Tsk tsk...You realy took a long time to give it back Sab *grins*Guess it was good reading"
*He takes his quill and thinks about what to write ,*sighs* "so much has happend ...
"Too much for me to remember preciesly...I'll just make some small notes and if i remember more i'll fill in the blancs"
-Got Alek in his rightfull place as Lord of Fort Velensk....
- Defended Hlint for days against demons......
-Gathered more things for the company then any other has done before i think*grins*.....
-Joined a group named The Bloody Hands.......
-Went to Firesteep with the group to get Adamantium.....
*now some things that happend recently**smiles*
I went to a meeting with others ,we were invited by some one named Call..undead hunter of Toran.
The meeting was about all that is happening now and that it might be linked together...
Three stories were told that i remember ,Rolf's,Ran's and sofia's.
Rolf told us of a trip onwitch he found a group of Aeridinites bodies.
Ran told us of bodies mutulated by demons and two chests and a tablet she has found.
Sofia told us of an island with a pyramide .
Call told us of some paintings that were found...The things i remember about that is the description.
Two paintings...one with a diamond>>>key>>>pyramide.
And one with a scroll>>>key>>>pyramide.
She told us that asfar as she knew,all was conectd to a demi-lich named Michidil.
She also told us that the vampires Quantum has hunted down were under his command or something.
We gathered our things and set out find the boat Sofia and her party used to get to the island with
the pyramide to see if it could bring us there.
We found the ship,but the captain told us he couldnt get to the island with-out his navigator.
It turned out that his navigator,a gnome, was captured and held for ransom on the dragon isles.
We went out to free him ,wich we did after some reasonable battle ,and we retuned him to the captain.
He needed to make a new compas to find the island,so we waited there.
After he made the compas,we traveled to the island with the pyramide.
We went over the island to find a fey we knew should live there ,but we never found it.
We did find a pyramide however and we sought a way in...
I dont know how they found the way in,i was still looking for the fey,but somehow they managed
to find the way so we all went in.
Inside we had to solve four riddles before we could get to the main chamber ....Lia and Mith
seemed to have their own agenda...they never listend to any of us and just did what they wanted...*sighs*
Their actions resulted in two deaths for Geir and the loss of many a weapon and shield..including mine....
Lia decided that she didnt have to wait for the rest and wandered off.....she came back running...
With-out warning or anything....she led rustmosters right into our group...
Luckely i had my spare weapon with me ..not as good as my adamantium blade,but still i got something to fight
with if needed.
We ended up in a room with one chest and two things that looked like cirkels....
A stone there said that one was for the king of the hill..if not placed something magic in the chest
there is no way back..or something like that ..
I put a spare ring in the chest and stood on the place for the king of the hill....
Some-one else did something and i was ported ....there were three followers of Aeridin on the otherside.
They told me they were caught here for a long time now ...
Some others were ported to where i was ...and suddenly the light re-appeared...we quickly walked into the light
and were ported again ..this room didnt have anything in it ..or so i thought....
Q found a lever ...there was a sign telling that if you pulled your weight you could meet the gatekeeper...
We pulled the lever and went in a portal...on the other side we found the keeper..
He told us that there was a way to get to the Plane of Chaos ..
We went there to find Mechidil and look for the witch that was suppost to be held there...
The first we met was Mechidil...he asked for something but we didnt know what he meant...
When he attacked,we killed him quickly...Mith told us he wasnt dead ..that dying here only meant being
away for a while...i was surpriced he knew that but stayed quiet....
The next thing we met was some kind of demon...he asked for his flail....
I never knew we had it ...but we ...or better Mith ..did have it.
He got it from Elladan i later heard....never knew a paladin of Aeridin would hide information
crucial to a thing undertaken by others....but Elladan did....the flail was a relic of Aeridin i think.
After killing the thing , we went on searching for the witch...i understood why when i remembered
the things Skarp and Geir were talking about earlier.....she had kidnapped Skarps son....
We found the witch ...right after we fought two or three Balors....
She asked if we had what she wanted...then Lia turned out to truely have a different agenda....
She held up a spoon.....she told the witch it was her key out...and the witch complied it truely was...
Lia demanded that Skarp was to see his son , and the witch wanted the spoon...
They made a trade ..Skarps son for the spoon ...Lia wispered to be ready to us...
If you snap your fingers inthere and tell where you want to go, you can go there if only you
did have put something magical in the chest i mentioned earlier.
She traded the spoon for Skarps son,because the witch couldnt be killed inthere ...she would simply
regenerate in time.
We got out ....with Skarps son Erik*smiles* but we lost track of the witch...*sighs deep*
I hope Lia will find her and do what she has to do....as for Mith....*his face gets grim and he looks angry as he
writes about Mith*
He had his own agenda too it seems.....he took the book Mechidil had dropped and refuses to destroy it
or give it to some-one else....
On top of that ...he bluntly refused to give Elladan his flail back...hes nothing more then a filthy thief in my eyes
I'll help Elladan get his belongings back ...even if it means i have to kill Mith.
The fact that i dont like him and he doesnt like me,makes it assumable that i have to do just that anyway...
When i walked towards him to get the flail from him,he threatened to kill me....
He thinks he can hide behind his magic .....well...i got some tricks for him...*grins wide*
Then the thing that worries me the most..Sab*sighs*
Not that things between us arent going good ..but she is being stalked or harrased by a lich ....
As it turns out ,it was or is his former teacher ...he wants her ..i dont know for what ..but i wont let that happen.
I talked to a lot of persons about this,and an army is willing to help if needed*smiles* My friends and her friends.
I dont see her much lately ...she is working together with miss Matilda (a protecter of the weave) to get back in the tower in Spellguard.
She used to live there ...eleven years ago...she lost everything she had in the ocupation of Spellguard by the Drow.
It seems that the magic used to save her has put her in the future..hmmm...must be very powerfull magic indeed.
Miss Matilda has accepted her as her "something"witch means that she will look out for her and help her as much as she can *smiles*
Things have been acwar for me from time to time...i was traveling with Ran so much that all thought we were a couple.
I was more pleased then annoyed to hear that,but got a bit tired explaining that it wasnt the case..i sure hope Trysk comes back soon.
Abi went through a difficult time,looks like Brisbane (girlfriend of Elladan)has disided that Abi cant do or say anything right,and she attacks
her verbaly every chance she gets.
It even went to the point that Abi was disapeared..we looked for her but could not find her...
A bird dropped me a letter from her ,telling me were she was and that she wanted only me to say goodbye....
Last drop for Abi was a situation inwitch none of her "so called friends" as she put it ,helped her when attacked in this matter .
I told her to talk to Angela first and that if i had been there i would have helped her..she smiled and told me that she knew that.
She gave me a message for Angela and i went to deliver that ..i found her togther with Ireth among others.
Once i had given Angela the message,Ireth started that it wasnt her fault,that she was hurt and that therefor she wasnt
the one to blame ....she was bussy and didnt see or hear what happend ..and so on ....
Having troubles with my own feeling at the moment ,i lashed out to her verbaly*sighs*
I told her that the world didnt turn about her alone ,that there are others with feelings and hurts .
I got so mad that at one point i was afraid i could not control myself...so i left.
I told her "Goodbye Ireth" and turned and walked away...went down Haven mines to calm down and went home.
I dont think Ireth understood why i was mad and we havent had a normal talk since....so much for friendship i guess.
Sometimes i miss our talks and jokes,but i wont go to her to sort things out...
Last thing that happend made me very proud ...
I was invited by Varka to help get a thing calle a stargem or something.
It is needed to make a anti-potion against a curse that has befallen Gloin and a tribe of dwarves.
There were a lot of people that came to help,and in the end we were succesfull*smiles*
I died,but i didnt mind...the task i had to do was succesfull(blocked a door so others could heal up and join the fight again )and
all others lived.
I saw things i never have seen before( and dont hope to see again soon) and the golems we met seemed to be resistant to my best attack*sighs*
The gathering of things for the company is taking too much time..it interfears with my training...
Speeking about the company ...the house in Hlint is remodelt..it looks like a truely rich tradepost now.
There are some problems going on in the company now...
Angela wants us to join forces with Ozy to help rebuild the lands that are destroyed by the war...
The idear of rebuilding,we all agree on beeing important.
How ever ..i dont trust Ozy and want to discuss this with all before i bring out a vote...
I did the suggestion that Angela should try to get Ozy over to discuss it with all of us and that if he has nothing to hide,
i did not see a reason why he shouldnt.
He refuses to come and discuss it,so i guess my reservations were correct.
If the dicision is pushed thriugh with out us all debating over it , i have a tough decision to make myself...
Stay with the Company and help some-one i dont trust...or leave...it will be a hard decision,but one i'll have to take i guess.
I asked Sab to marry me *grins* and she said yes*smiles*as soon as we have sorted out this thing with her former teacher
we will start planning the wedding.
*looks up from his journal and sees that it is getting late*"i better go home and guard my love...tomorow is another day"
-
New entry by Barion
Normal week sofar,collected skins for Abi and plat for her too.
Jacc is going to make her things for her bow and needs plat for that .
Sab and i are doing fine ,the "something"she is of Matilda , is called "ward".
Matilda and Sab are gathering things for a ceremony that will get Sab back in the service of Lucinda or something.
Sab is wearing a neckless Matilda made and it seems to work well.
It should keep the vampire that bit her at bay and the dreams should lessen at least.
Not much happend lately or it should be that i went to a raffle organiced by Kobal.
In this way he wants to get coins together to rebuild a dwarven guildhall i think it was.
We all bought lotterynumbers and he had a realy big gnomish cilinder that turned and drew numbers*smiles*
Altho my first four choices of prices were already gone,i got some nice things*grins*
I won a Diamond and Cobalt reinforced clothing.....
I cant use any of those,so i'll ask Geir if he can make a ring for Sab with the diamond and give her the
clothes and the ring as weddingpresent.
Well....duty calls and i need to pick up my weapon crafting again*sighs*
Some of us dont get things for the company,they buy them ...not that i mind,but they buy it with things others have
to make....
Only reason to do that i think is to train hard ...but the ones making the things lose time to train because they have
to craft the items again...
I hope that the crafting will soon be done so that i can train hard and long again *looks to his belly*i realy could
use it*sighs*
-
Barion,clearly almost exhausted,comes into his house after weeks of being away and slumps down on the cushons in his living.
He looks around if he sees Sabris,but she must be off on an adventure of her own because he cant find her in the house.
With a tired arm he gets his journal out and thinks "lets write a bit and maybe Sab comes home before i fall asleep"
New entry by Barion
Finaly home again....these last weeks were hard and tough , but i....no...WE...did a lot of good for the world.
It started with a note in the Wild Surge Inn....Gotak was asking for help with a task....having met Gotak numerous times,
i know it must have been hard for him to ask help...i thought to myself"If he asks for help,then i think he realy needs it"
So i decided to go and help him if he would accept my help,witch he did.
Together with a few others,among them Abi and Kobal,we went to some dwarven halls.....
The dwarves there were under siege by drow...the threat of the drow was coming from two sides,outside and inside....
The drow had taken most of the halls and we think they were regrouping for a final attack on the dwarves led by King Bartoc Stonebrow.
We made a desperate plan to retake atleast one hall,becuase in that hall is the elevator that leads further down to were the drow were.
Well...plan.....it meant charge the ones guarding the hall more or less...it turned out almost a disaster....most of the dwarves
and our small group fell when just headlong charging in....we were lucky that a few clericks remained back and revived us,or it would
have ended there and then.....
Back in safety,we changed plans...main objective became disabling the elevator and fight with causion one at a time if possible getting there.
With this new plan we made it to the elevator and succeeded in our objective to destroy it,afterwich we cleared the rest of the hall from guards left behind.
Now the dwarves have time to regain their strenght and get enough people together to once and forall deal with the drow under their feet.
The King,who fought valiantly besides us,was gratefull for our help and extended us his gratitude by proclaiming that all of us present there
will always be welkom in his halls and always will be treated as friends from that day on*smiles tiredly*
Gotak had some debt or something else outstanding with this clan,and he was forgiven anything he had done,dont know what excactly and dont want to
know if he wont tell,and there seemed to drop a burden of his shoulders.
He made the vow that he will be there once the final assault on the drow will take place and that it will be his new goal in life.
King Stonebrow accepted his vow and told him that he will keep him to it*grins* guess we are going to see a new and improved Gotak from now on..
The King also spoke out the hope that all of us could be there for te final assault and i dont know about the rest,but i'll try to be there.
Next thing i went into when getting back to Hlint,came in about the same way....Varka told me he needed help and i imedietly replied that he had mine.
It turned out that a clan called the Ulgrid was infected by something and in need of an antidote...Gloin was infected aswell i was told....
We set out to get the ingredients with haste....it was hard and the ingredients were not easy to find or collect....
All the time we were watched by something it seemed....Varka called it "the eye"and told that it was an eye send by Eon to spy on us and that he was
looking for a way to stop us*shivers slightly*
Before i joined them they had gathered some of the ingredients and we sat off to find the Stargem first ,wich we found after long battles that were to
horible to describe,s i wont, but as stated in my entry above "we were succesfull".
After we got the gem,we had to bring the ingredients to the dwarves.....the healer we needed to find was in the Greypeak mountains.
We went there by means of a secret underground way,wich i wont describe due to obvius reasons,and met the healer named Marten.
He worked for many hours and in the end gave us the drink he made saying"i think i did it right"...
We then had to bring the potion to the Ulgrid,the berhagen cave was our goal....
The trip to Velensk went smooth,we traveld by boots from Leilon,but then the trouble began....
An eye had found us .....they knew we had to get to the cave in Berhagen mountains and would try to stop us...
As i guarded the outside of the gates at Velensk,the rest prepared for heavy battle....
We went into the mountains and were attacked by golems ....more kinds then i had ever seen attacked us and in one of the last encounters
before we reached Shoufal,i fell*sighs*....thanks to Vigg,i was raised and able to continue....
From the moment i was raised,i desided that i would stay close to Vigg to protect the cauldron he was carrying with the potion with my life.
After Shoufal we were attacked time and time again by the same golems we had encountered in the mountains...
The fifth or sixth attack,we got help from some dwarves....after fighting a way to the cave,we knew we made it.
We were led to the King of the Ulgrid by one of the dwarves,at the time we ..or atleast some of us....didnt know who he was and were
wondered ith all we passed to nod or bow to him.
The King was sceptic......he told us to leave while his healers would give the potion to the sick and that we ould be called if we were needed.
The same dwarf led us back to a hall and there we found out he was a general !!!!*grins wide*
Not just a general mind you but one very high up in the hierarchy of the dwarfs following Vorax.
After a few hours we were called to the King again....this time he wasnt so ...hmmm....unfriendly is the only word that comes to mind.
He told us that the cure we brought worked better then anything else they tried and that the ones that had gotten it seemed to get stronger again.
After that he he offered us to stay and use dinner with him and his wife to thank us*smiles*ofcourse we accepted.
We got the oppertunity to bathe and we got some clothes to be presentable and had a wonderfull evening with the King and his wife and all that
were there.*grins wide and looks to his belly"guess it wasnt to good for my figure...blast ..those dwarves know how to make a meal"
We stayed a few days and when we departed the King gave us the same gratitude as King Stonbrow and told us that we are welkom in his clans halls
whenever we are near.
*smiles tiredly and thinks aloud"Two dwarven clans i now count as my friends....guess i'm doing sometghing right"
Barion puts his journal next to him on the ground and looks around sleepily"Sab....*sighs* Hope to see you soon my love ..."
His words trail off and he falls into a deep undisturbed sleep.
-
New entry by Barion
A quick entry i can make ..nothing more i'm afraid ..companywork and training is too important to take too long off.
Have been working and collecting things for the company again these weeks....and went on the occasional adventure.
At the moment i'm caught up in something that is important to succesfully complete...Mistone ...no...Layonara is threatend
to be invaded by Slaad.....there is an old protecting seal that keeps the Slaad away,that is somehow weakend...
With a group we are trying to find things to strenghten the seal again and we are on the right track we think...
The ordeal keeps me so bussy that i dont see Sab much*sighs* But what would the world be like if invaded by Slaad?...
There are times we see eachother,there are times we write eachother* touches a note kept close to his hart and smiles*
We will make up soon for lost times ...looking around me for the last couple of years ,i have seen the happines of others..
Jill and Daren became parents ...recently Jacc and Miss Dorena too.....Ireth had a child ...and Skarp found his son again...
Sometimes i'm wandering how it would be to have a child with Sab ....would it look like me ...or her ...or a mixture of both..
Would the child follow his or her father...or mother....or both....*sighs* Wouldnt matter realy....if the child would be healthy it
wouldnt matter what it chose to be*smiles*
I did had some time around Hlint lately...good thing there were more and we all had time to do something inbetween jobs too..
It turned out that Hlint was to be attacked....no random attack ..but an organiced attack...
I know it must sound strange,but the attack was led by a minotaur...or jumping cow as i like to call those*grins*
it is very rare that one of those posseses leading qualities but there was this one , so we had to deal with it quickly.
We gathered who ever had time and in the end we stopped the attack...the people were filled with joy and we were hauled into town
as true hero's( didnt do more then our jobs realy ...but who cares ...the people need some-one to believe in ...)
-
New entry by Barion
*hastely scribbled into the journal,asif having haste to get it done*
Had time to take a little sidetrip...wish i haddent realy...*sighs*
We were called to search for a missing boat...
We went out and were ourself devoured by the sea...we were lucky ...we lived...
When we went to examen the cave we landed in.we had to fight lots of Golems ...
At the end we found a cave ..looked more like a home to me,all comfort was there...
As we were looking around and slaying some more golems and some undead,i stumbled upon a book ...*sighs deep*
This book ...i wished i never found it ....it was writen in what i later heard "infernal"
I tried to read it but couldnt ,so i asked if anyone else there could .....BIG MISTAKE.....
Almost from the moment i mentioned the book,people started to argue about it...one group wanted to destroy it ...
the other take it with us to study.....Ireth( who else?) had the biggest mouth ...together with Elladan....
I had given the book to Angela , who in return gave it to Abi ,to let her shadow try to read it.....
After some bickering i got tired of it and asked the book back...got in an argument with Ireth...spoke some harsh words...
and solved the discussion by burning the book*sighs* it gave off the smell of burning flesh....
When resting earlier,i already slept badly with nightmares...*sighs*....seemed the book had triggered something...
Right after the burning i told Elladan that i burned the book because i wanted it ..not because the group wanted it...
Ireth had to get in again and said something like "Yes Barion ..dont think we as a group made that dicision...."
She is getting things too high in her head ...she'll lose everyone if she keeps going like this...
The moment she meets others ,the things talked about must have either to do with her...or she had something
worse happening to her...
It's getting annoying and i try to see her as little as possible...just like others i know.
I remember what drove Abi away now ...it was Brisbane accusing her of being a drama queen...guess Brisbane
hasnt seen Ireth in while....
After the argument ,i....i....felt children crying...in my hart and in my head...i was caught offguard and fell to my
knees..crying...
All this has re-opend the wound i thought was closed forgood ...the mindflayer child is haunting my dreams
again.....
*sighs* Guess it will go away in time ...time ...it always takes time.....*sighs deep and puts the journal away*
"Have to double my effords to try and save the world.....only way i know to pay for what i did....."
-
*Writen asif in haste are a few words *
I need to find a way to get rid of this bloodlust....its getting too hard to resist...
I'm only happy when holding my blade and killing opponents..or when i'm with Sab....
Must find a way to stop it...
-
*New entry by Barion*
*The writing looks like done with a steady hand*
Finaly i had some time to think and train in solitude.
Training to become the best is going well,the lust for blood as i call it helps with training.
Pondering about the "why"i'm so bloodthursty,made me come to a conclusion.
Since the fighting is so normal to me now, i think i use it to not have to think about certain things.
Instinctively i run away into the only thing that comes natural to me Swinging my blade to destroy whatever
opposes me.
There are days that the blood of the slain giants is so thick,i have to wash multiple times to get it off.
Training so intensely,i have desided to try and swing two weapons at the same time.
The swinging goes well,only have trouble to keep up my defence due to the fact i fight with out shield.
I'm getting more and more used to the style,but will need time to perfect it.
Sab and i are doing great,we see eachother as much as possible and cherish the moments we have together.
Looking at Sab,i have a feeling she wants to take some time off from study for a special thing.
I think she's working on getting pregnant*smiles*looks like she too has the wish to become a parent.
Life is going its way and i am traveling more with the company then before.
When she's around,i like to travell with Dorena.
She and i like eachother a lot and we always have fun together.
I told her i admire her *smiles* she didnt understand and asked me why.
Smiling to her i told her that she is a beautiful woman and that giving birth hadn't changed her looks or wit*grins*
With a big red head she thanked me and reminded me that she is maried and i'm about to be maried*grins wide*
That gave me the opportunity to tease her a bit *smiles*and we ended up in the oasis of Saudiria playing like children.
When i'm with her i get the feeling of my youth back in some way,feeling carefree and happy just to breath.
Times like that are sparse in a life,but in some strange way she always knows how to make me either laugh,or feel
uncomfortable.
It is a good thing that both our lovelives are steady and secure...if not we would end eloping together i think.
There are a few things going on in the company that need attencion.
We are going to have a meeting soon to sort a few things out and i hope all will be well after that.
Daeron and i become better friends with the passing of each day.
Finaly i found a company member that is willing to put in as much time as i do to collect things.
He and i go out a lot together to get gems he needs and metal i need.
*listence to door being opend softly and grins*
"Finaly i beat you to it once my love" he shouts to Sab "finaly i'm home earlier then you,the bath is ready so
please enjoy"
*he hears her undress and let herself slowly sink in the water*"" want me to wash your back dear?"
*Grabbing a towell from the cabinet he moves towards the bath and grins*"finaly home again love,i missed you "
*as he lowers himself in the water ,the steam starts to fill the room and hides them both from sight*
*after a while they both lay on the bed exhausted* "we need to plan a date to get maried love " [Barion said]
"i dont want us to be lucky and have a child before we are maried "* he kisses her and holds her close*
"lets sleep now dear,we can talk and plan tomorow" *Sab curls up with her head on his chest and smiles *
-
New entry by Barion*
*hastely writen in a state of confusion it seems*
I made a mistake ...or maybe not ....i dont know..I cant write what i did...Sab would read it...
Others will read it if i'm gone to the other side....was it a mistake?....or not?...
Only time will tell....it happend and we both cant turn it back.....despite the fact that its wrong it happend,
i cant say i didnt liked it...the thrill of it still burns my blood...the taste is still there....
I realise the problem can now either be solved...or become bigger ....Its out of my hands now....
i'll respect what ever "the other" will decide....I can only hope for the best.....
and if that is me paying for what i did ...then i will.... its my own fault it happend...
not "the others "fault...i moved .."the other"stayed still...i acted ..."the other "didnt do a thing but be surpriced...
I need to think about this ....i'll get back to were it happend and ponder there ...I hope "the other"is fine ...
or atleast unharmed and with someone "the other"trust and can talk too...
*Some words arre blacked out ...others are writen with the utmost precisenes only found in real good writen books*
*the page is cracked ,it seems someone thought about ripping the page out ,but changed his mind*
-
New enrty by Barion
*he looks at what he has writen and smiles*
We talked about it ,"the other"and i,and we agreed to not telling anyone what happend .
I know for sure that there are feelings from my side,dont know for sure if there are from "the others"side .
We go out and both try to act normal eventhou its hard for me to do ,but i promissed and always keep my promisses.
The saving of the world from Slaady is going well up to now.
We visited a mage to get passes to one of the best guarded places in the world.....Voltrex,the closed elven island.
He told us were to go and handed us a letter for safe passage through the lands,i hope it works .
Finaly i am forced to pick up my weaponmaking again.
We , as a guild, are going to donate things to the relief of Roldem.
With both Rolf and Skarp on an extended vacation things get kinda hecktick ,but we'll manage .
I am very pleased that Q( Quantum) has joined us , he takes over some of Rolfs jobs together with Alleina now.
Havent seen Fenrir much lately,if he goes on vacation too i'll have to pick up armormaking aswell i guess...*sighs deep*
I asked at the guildmeeting if others would help with collecting things for the weapons....
Probably would have had more help if i asked the wall....most are just too lazy to even move their bumm.
On my travels i collected all kind of new things and when i put them in a chest before the meeting *grins*the ones
not going out much ran to it like vultures to look if they could use something..
Half of the things came from Haven mines ...they can clear that alone ...just never do it i guess ....
Makes me wonder if i'm not just used by them *sighs* better not think that way ....
-
New entry by Barion
The making of weapons goes well ,iron doesn't hold much secrets for me anymore .
Only the making of great weapons like scythes hold a chalenge now ,guess its because the use of wood in them.
I picked up tinkering again because i was tired of failing to make the molds i need for weapons.
Turned out tinkering is a nice craft ,i decided to go on with it and am making iron arrowheads for Jacc and Dorena now in large quantities.
I met Sab a short time ago ,we both ar investigating the same thing now.
When i asked her if we could plan a date for the marriage *sighs*she said she was too bussy with learning the
highest circle of spells now , and doesnt have time to interupt it .
I love her dearly and cant see my life without her ..but...with all that is going on with "the other"it is hard to
remember her face at night*sighs deep*
Had a long talk with "the other"....our idears of life and love differ a bit ..but i'm willing to learn and
compromise"the other"has to learn that too.
Seems like most of the extended vacations appart from Skarp and Rolf are finaly over in the guild.
Lets hope things will get better and every one finds it in their hart to help relieve others from getting things alone
for a change.
Some thing good has come from this wandering alone a lot, i developed some hobby's *grins*
I'm collecting books and star dusts now for example*smiles*still its weird that the dust ends up in Haven mines.
Abi has been away from all living persons for a while now *sighs* i hope things will get normal again and she will
show up soon.
I know she's still around , because the skins i keep getting her disapear from her chests on a regular base *grins*
*Barely readable is writen*
E ceela aey sa neanana..both you and "the other"
-
*a few words are writen down seemingly in anger or another state of mind that doesnt help keeping a hand steady*
LOVE.......CURSE.......PAIN......LIFE.........DEATH.......
All useless ...love is a curse ...love is pain.....life is pain.......death is ...? A way out ?
*the handwriting becomes more fluent and looks writen with a steady hand*
Have been looking for Sab for more then two weeks now,heard from Karana that Sab is going to be one of three to perform a ceremony.
Karana will be there to protect Sab's body she said.
Guess with all that is going on she just forgot about me *sighs* if Karana wouldnt have told me , i wouldn't even know.
I'm not sure what is happening ...is her love for me fading ? am i ballast in her life? will she leave me ?
So many questions and no way to ask her directly since i cant find her *sighs softly*
Life stinks at times .....and this is one of those times...i told Dorena something that even scared ME when i had said it ...
I told her that sometimes i regret ever meeting Shelu ...*sighs deep and ponders before he continues writing*
The thruth is ...i still miss her dearly ..and my life can never be the same as it was before ....nor can i hold up this ...facade...longer.
My life is a chain of bad events and i've been trying with all that is me to chance that...it's getting hard not just give up..end it ....
Maybe i was right with what i told Dorena ...if i never had met Shelu ,i would never have gotten into this hurting game called love...
Nah ...there would have been another that would have cought me ..i'm a sucker for love ..maybe Celgar was right ..
Maybe there is only one god ..or goddes in this case .....that would suit my life and my dealing with losses ...Ilsare ..the goddes of love...
*walks around the house pondering and talking in himself and he ends up in the room he has made into a shrine for Shelu*
* he looks to her pictures and sadly smiles*
"Hello my love ......i'm in need of guidence again ..as usual when i end up here ...my thoughts are a mess
and my life isnt too happy now...my love is away ....and "the other" i love isnt answering my feelings in any
way....people use me and try to chance me ....only thing that keeps me going is my undying trust in love and
some of my friends....."
*he bows his head in a simple prayer and when done he looks up and smiles to her pictures hanging on the wall
next to the table with the weddingring*
"I wont give up dearest...you made me promiss to make the best of my life and never search the easy way out by
following you in death..i'll keep that promiss and will try to get out of the state my mind is in right now....i miss
you love ..keep room for me at your side...."
* he walks out of the room holding his head up and looking confident and somehow more at peace*
-
*Barion sits in his house and looks at what he wrote, he smiles warmly reading what he wrote about Shelu *
"Who could see this change coming ...not me ...not anyone i think"*he mumbles*'Why it took so long Abi asked ...she is right "
*New entry by Barion*
I have made a deal with Dorena ,she is going to teach me elven in exchange for the arrowheads i give her .
I'll pick up where i left with Shelu and Ranewin i guess .
The world is safe from the invasion of Slaad once more ,with the group i travelt to Voltrex to restore the last seal.
After that we went to the hart of the rift in the sky and released the two souls .
They took their place and sealed the rift for what we hope forever.
I am trying to get something from the guild and am trying to set a procedure for us all to follow if we want something .
Sofar only a few have reacted on my request ,since i have writen that most must be okay with it i'll wait with taking what i need untill more have reacted.
I made a mayor change in my life ...from what i feel now ,it was long overdue .
Finaly i'm at peace with the loss of Shelu ,the facade i held up for years i finaly casted aside.
I realised it when talking to Addison ( who lost Cole recently)that i was living in the past for too long .
Having realised that, i desided to go to the Ranger Vale to say a final goodbye and let the past be the past.
-
*These are the words Barion spoke and the things happening in Rangers Vale*
*Barion kneels at the tempel of Aeridin and softly starts to pray*
"It is time my love and mate...
Time to close one chapter and try to open others....
I know you are waiting for me Shelu.....
and in time i'll be at your side again.....but now....*he softly sighs*
Now i need to live on ...and i do mean LIVE on....
The facade has to dropped...the grief has to be undergone....
I need to live again....in the present.....not in the past as i have done....."
*a tear travels from his eye to his chin un-noticed*
"Time to let you go for now dearest....we will meet again...as your gods Avatar told us long ago....
Look after me .....and know your always in my hart...."
* he sighs softly crying and presses a kiss on the ground of the tempel*
"Farewell my soulmate..."
*he pauses a moment*
"Keep her safe Aeridin...or my wrath will find you ..."
*He looks up and closes his eyes....after a few moments his body starts to shiver with gulfs of what seems
to be pains long hidden coming out and leaving him...he slumps down on the ground and falls into a deep sleeep*
-
*New entry by Barion*
Life is slowly getting better ....it was a mess for a while...
Where to start ...starting with the things that went wrong...maybe then ,after i wrote and ending with the nice things ,life may once again smile down on me.
Sab.....no word or other sign of life from her for over half a year now...*sighs softly*...guess she either has forgotten me ..or in the worst case .. *looks pained* in the worst case she may be dead...No one has
seen her after the ritual she had to perform...dont even know if she was there...
"The other".....Came to me for a loan of an big amound of gold....ofcourse i gave the loan...but if i had known what it was for ... "The other"moved...with the loan i gave ..a house was bought ..far away in Vale ..we were almost neighbours here in Haven before.... Guess that says it all realy ...no chance of ever being happy with "the other"....other then being friends ....
something else happend recently ....something i wont tell many people ....my life is shortend again...a threat was ripped ...my end is near...
Looking at what i have done with my life sofar ,i can say it is a ride of ups and downs ...maybe the downs are greater in numbers..
but i allways stayed honest and fair ..fighting for the innocents and the weaker then myself, i can only hope it counts when the final time comes.
The better things .....i picked up showing around newcomers and helping them as much as i can now...guiding them around town and helping them to finish their chores that they have make me happy ...i meet lots of new and interesting persons this way*smiles* even get some to buy things from Raven...and something else happend ....i met an interesting woman named Sa'kura ...she is from a farm ..just like me ..
I showed her around and talked to her ...i told her about Sab ..and the fact Sab is gone for a long time now and that i cant find her...
I felt lonely ..and she was there ...i asked if i was allowed to hold her ..and i was ...we kept talking and suddenly ..our eyes locked ...we kissed ....
We both liked it ..but we both were surpriced and confused aswell...she asked around about me ..and got told lies and horror stories ...
When i heard , i asked some friends if they could help me to make a date so we could talk ...and they did ..we talked and i explained some things .
We agreed to get to know each other better and see were that takes us ...Sab ...i will have to talk to her and give her a choice...change .or leave... that is ..if she ever returns ...maybe i should look for her remains ..or someone that knows what happend to her ..the thought alone scares me.
I cant live like i do now anymore ...the uncertaincy is killing ...the not knowing and not hearing anything is mindnumbing...and a new life with any one else cant start because i never will betray her or any other woman...my life right now is locked.
My crafting is going well...i'm one of the fifteen best weaponmakers around now ...the amound of iron i made into weapons is enormous already... but i still need tons and tons of it to improve and be able to forge adamantium weapons...i'm getting close ...simple ones i make half of the time or more
The smelting of adamantium is trivial with some help....if i train more with silver without magical aid i'll be able to do it with out help soon... the only problem is , that i have been mining somuch lately ...i have developed a hatred to mining ...if its not necisary ..i wont .
Some of the company have returned after being away for a small time ....geir is seen more and more lately ..
*sighs* I'm going to end in an unhappy state again ...something is going on ..Abi and Angela are nolonger together ....Angela betrayed Abi's love...
She herself came to tell me that ..she asked me to take care of Abi ...told me she made a will and was planing to leave ...forgood if she couldnt solve it.
A few days later i talked to Abi....asked her why and how ..and who...she wouldnt say who ,due to a promiss she made ...but i'm no fool..i have eyes..
The thing that hurted Abi most was the fact that Angela told another she loves her ...in Abi's words..."if she was screwing around,i could forgive her... but her loving another is something i cant accept" I'm not choosing sides ..and i will wait what the outcome will be ...but if it goes like i think ...
I'll lose my respect for some i know then ...wont put down names ,for its no ones concern yet ...but those i suspect ..i think they know ....
I refused to go out with them on adventure already ...and they are not the dumbest people ...they can figure it out .if they are even interested in why i dont go out with them *sighs deep*someone is playing a very nasty game ...playing with lives of others asif they dont deserve happines...playing with loves older then most of the new people i meet ...Life and love are cruel especialy if it concerns those you called friends not long ago...
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*New entry by Barion*
**It seems a few pages are ripped out of the journal**
*Barion sits at a chest in his house and looks into it with tears in his eyes*
"Why..... ?*he wispers*...Why Abi?.....Why not come to me ....?Why now?......Why this way ?....WHY!!!!!*he shouts the last word*
*A few days later there is a new entry*
ABIGAI'L,SHE KILLED HERSELF.
Angela,plays the hurt one but clearly isn't.
Cray,talked to her and know the complete story from Abi and her side.
Alantha,the one Angela cheated Abi with...the one cheating on Cray with Angela.
Dorena,"the other"........wife of Jacc.
Brant,always shows up somehow if i get to go through things like this.
SA'KURA,THE ONE I LOVE.*this is writen with capitals in a steady hand,clearly made with lots of efford to look good*
Daren,the husband of Jil...the one we saved from the underdark.
Daeron,close friend ...part of Raven aswell.
Quantum,close friend ...same as Daeron .
Rhynn,friend..sometimes close ..other times a bit weird and a far friend.
Ranewin,Closest friend i got left...made her promiss to get me up and love me if things ever go wrong again..only link left to good old times.
Nyyana,friend...changed after Abi's death..hope to get her back as she was.
Celgar,friend...brother...havent seen him in a while.
*he sighs deep and starts another list*
Shelu,my first love...dead.
Trysk,was a close friend...now missing.
Nex,was a close friend...now walking Dregar a lot alone ...havent seen him in years.
Ayla,one of the first i met here that helped me...dead.
Geir,one of the first i met here ...partner at Raven....gone forgood.
Skarp,partner at Raven...gone forgood.
Rolf,partner at Raven....leaving forgood.
Sabrissia,loved her ...went away to a ritual...missing.
ABI,friend...sister....very old friend...dead.
*he sighs and closes the journal and stats pacing the house*
*A few days later he returns and start to write again*
BARION,fool...coward...idiot...wreck.
*he closes the journal and looks around asif saying goodbye*
*weeks later he walks into the house and sees his journal lying in its usual spot,he picks it up and starts to write in it *
Life isnt fair.Life is never fair.Life will never be fair.Life is to be lived and accepted no matter what.Good things come and go.Bad things tend to stay.
These are some lessons i wanted to write down for those that might read this journal once i'm gone..Life is cruell( forgot that one )
Abi's body has been taken by shadows,preventing some to say a final goodbye to her.
I found her in Sielwood and brought her to the Raven house in Hlint,cleaned her up and told all that they had one week to say goodbye before i would bring the body to Karthy,the Xeen tempel to be precies.
Angela came in and wanted to take the body and burry it alone in the desert*sighs*i stopped her ,she treathend me ..i stood firm...she left without the body.
I still dont know what right she tought to have to Abi's remains,she cheated on her and that is a big part of the reasons Abi did this...
She only had to tell Abi she loved only her to have kept her alive....she refused..Abi is dead.
I was a fool and wanted to end the pain....i went to Firesteep to end it ...once and forall.Rhynn was the only one that knew..she saved me...
She sended Tathnolu to intercept me and talk sence into me..he succeeded half....i still was on my way to Firesteep..but nolonger to end it forgood.
Rhynn had send a letter to Sa'kura....she and Kyle caught me at the foot of Firesteep...the sight of Sa'kura was enough to stop me and forget about Firesteep.
We completely forgot Kyle and went to talk to eachother...she realy loves me ..and i realy love her ...she moves into the house and we will be happy.
That takes me to "the other"..Dorena..was it love? or just simple lust? was our traveling and her teasing me only to make me a fool and long for her?
Seems like it ...we had something happening ...dont remember what..was drunk...she too...must have done or said something wrong to her..she ran away
I found her in Sielwood ,her head was cut..she ran into a tree...i tended her wounds and made sure she was alright...i left her a letter.
In the letter i told her i wouldnt go out with her alone anymore,that i didnt know what had happend ,but that it must be something bad for her to run away from me.
She must have given the letter to Jacc...he came to us in Pranzis...he shot an arrow over my head in a tree..there was a note that said i had to leave Dorena alone from now on...it wasnt signed..i stood up and called out that the coward should show him/herself..to tell me to my face...Jacc apeared..a blade on my throught...he asked if i called him a coward..i told him that if he shot the arrow ..i did...he letured me and told me he wanted to kill me ..i opend my arms and offered my life to him,for he was right...i shouldend go out with his wife the way i was doing....he let me live and i gave my word i would nev er go out or talk to her again.
These things led to something else...i left Raven...i give them time to find a replacement for me ..then i'm gone.
Leading upto this decision were a few things ...we had a meeting to vote on new members..to replace those that have either voluntairly or otherwise left us lately...when i walked in..Jacc jumped of off his chair ...i looked around...saw Alantha and Dorena as those that werent part of Raven and knew...i went out..
Daeron followed me and talked me into coming back in and listen before i took a decision..i did ...i sat at the back and listend...They voted on contacting Goldwin...i stayed quiet...then they voted on Alantha joining...i stayed quiet...Angela just had to do something i guess...and with that made up my mind...she demanded me to say i was okay with Alantha joining..i couldnt...she was called to order by Jacc ...then they voted on Dorena ...that realy made me sure..i stayed quiet...after they voted and wanted to go on to other points ,i took the word...i told that i was coming in a situation that insured i couldnt work in this way ..i gave them till they have a replacement and formaly announced that i would leave...i left and Angela followed ..she asked if that was normal...that you dont throw away ten years of friendship like that..i told her she did the same with Cray ..so why should it bother me ?
I guess she either didnt hear ,or chose not to hear she went back to what i'm used of her by now..playing the hurt one and blaming others then herself for what happend and such...i'm tired of that ..i said she was right and left...she did say she knew she was hurting others in the end ,,but that was way too late for me to change my decision...i vowed to myself i wouldnt work with those i hold responcible for Abi's dead...in my eyes that are Angela and Alantha...i told Jacc i would never travel with Dorena or talk to her again..that would be hard if we were both in Raven ..i had no choice...my leaving was un avoidable.
If they knew that in front or not ..i dont know ..sometime i guess they dont think like i do ...leaving Raven was hard ..but i think Abi would aprove...first thing i found in Haven mines after i left was dust of Xeen ..if that was a sign..i did well.
When i met sa'kura i satr her down and told her everything...she said she wanted to try to get the friendship with Jacc and Dorena back to normal again..i told her that i only would talk to Dorena if Jacc said its okay.Sa'kura and i are gettingf things together now everytime we can ,we both craft for pleasure now ...among having fun with eachother a lot...and i found us someone to teach us both elven...Serrisa is her name ...and we take her along on our travels as payment for her lessons ...dont tell her thou .
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*New entry by Barion*
*Barion walks in looking happy and troubled at the same time,he picks up his journal from the bed were Sa'kura left it and starts to write*
I gave my journal to Sa'kura....or Cherrie as i call her now ...to read and learn about me,to get to know me in more ways then i am able to explain myself in words.
She read it and i told her i would keep writing in it so that she knows what and how i think about things even if we dont see eachother due to buisness.
Raven does not have a replacement me for me yet,word travells fast...i am offered to join the orcbashers already,all i have to say is yes.
All the people leaving Raven have given Raven a bad name on the streets,new adventurers rather buy somewere else then with Raven because of it.
If i look deep in my heart i cant even blame them to be honest...if all knew what i know Raven would be out of buisness even more i think.
i'm no liar and i dont keep secrets,if anyone comes to me and asks why i left i answer truthfully...eventhou i loved to see Raven grow...my feelings of injustice over things i cant put aside...i cant believe Jacc and Daeron are willing to work with Angela and Alantha together..are they blind? or they just dont want to see the obvius...Angela cheated with another on Abi,she's been running around with Alantha longer then anyone else..especialy since Abi is gone..
is it so hard to put one and two together? Or did they both just played they liked Abi? I realy dont know anymore...i get on the point i realy dont care anymore..Abi's true friends remember her from time to time ...not much ..but those that do were true friends.
I went out on a job for the late king..a caravan was ambushed and all there were either killed or taken by drow..or so we thought at first.
It led us to a drowcity in the underdark,there we found a key that lead us to Dalantar..there was a chest in the bank that had to be delivered to Saudiria.
A chest send by the late kings daughter,we went and deliverd it to the captain there...once we got out of the house we were attacked by drow or something.
As the battle was won,we noticed that the guards that were in front of the house were gone,the door locked and no sound from inside.
We checked the house and it was empty...they either fled or were taken we think,so we put up a pursuit to catch them..with a lot of pain and trouble we tracked them down to the docks at Dorax tower...we now need to decide what to do ....
Sonya and Rain got married....it was a wonderfull little ceremony and both looked stunning...it was an extra special day for me and Sa'kura .....
No one knew...but when Sa'kura wanted to walk along the water i had a surprice for her...i got on one knee and held up a ring*smiles*
She was stunned...she said "i..i dont know what to say..."i looked at her and said "Just say yes love..."She couldnt be stopped after that *smiles happy*
Yes..yes...yes..yes..over and over she repeated herself ...crying and hugging and kissing me all the time...we both are so happy...no date yet ...and my fear of something happening isnt gone completely...but i'm sure this time the wedding will go on..we got the place and we got the love to pull it off*smiles*
We decided to keep it quiet a few days ,not to spoil Sonya's and Rains day .
Q needed my help a few days later...something happend and he was to go to the tempel in fort Llast...on the way there we encounterd some powerfull undead..they had ransacked a caravan..we went to investigate..it was an ambush...Q,me and serissa died there ..it was a good thing the others lived to raise us and we went to the tempel because the undead that were left had fled....it turned out Q was to attend a meeting of something called 'The Shining Hand'
We were invited by Q to come and so we did ..it turned out that the Shining Hand.....the leader of the order Q is part of...is missing.
Now it has been over 50 days they have a rule that says that they can vote on another to take over...two aplied for the job and looking over the reactions of those present i saw that both wouldnt be the right choice in my eyes and the eyes of others to get the position...as they held a recess i told that to Q ..
We talked about Q speaking..either to support one..or to run for the job himself...he decided the last option and i think he is right...he held a speech and after that they had to vote on it....three held their vote..and presented their plans later....every one going for the position gets an assigment and is allowed to gather all they want to help to fullfill the task at hand...an evil is unleashed and they will get orders what to do...the one doing the best job i guess gets the position...all that were there told Q that we would aid him in any way we can...i'm looking forward to go out and make Q proud by succeeding in his task.
Time for bed now *smiles looking at the bed* Sa'kura is sleeping peacefully now...its time to join her and hold her ..like i want to do for the rest of my life.
*he puts down his journal quietly and gets next to Sa'kura in the bed gently not to wake her..he kisses her forehaer and takes her in his arms *
"sleep well my love ...i'll guard you and keep you safe"*he whispers*"You are the diamond embedded in my heart,the most precious thing in this world and beyond to me.....as long as you love me my heart will beat for you and you alone...."*he rest his head and drifts to sleep*
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*New entry by Barion*
**quietly Barion wakes up and looks at Sa'kura sleeping peacefully**"I'll write it off my mind love and trust things will work out fine"
**He takes his journal from the cabinet next to the bed and starts to write**
Things are strange and confusing...Sa'kura is asked to someone importand at the wedding of Tre'anna and Addison....she needs to kiss Addison with asmuch passion and love as she feels for me....Because of her friendship with both she already accepted,not truely understanding what it meant...
I told her i dont realy like it,passion and love ...we both have that for eachother..not for others...we are one...last night we were one for more time then there fits in a night....time stood still and our lovebond even got deeper then it already was.....its more then love..its belonging to...living for...
I'll try to give her my undying support and give her room to fullfill this task ..although i think passion and love is something from us both..not one of us and another...if it was to be lust she had to feign..that i could understand..but love and passion???????....lust i understand ..that would make it easy.
I love you my dearest...and for that i'll be there to support you in your task athand ...but please...never yes again before you understand what it is you have to do...
Training in elven goes slowly but steady...Serissa is an exelent teacher for both of us ...while travveling we learn,words for now but i'm sure sentences will follow...i guess Serissa knows best when to start with those..i managed to get my finger behind some elven grammar lately ...la behind a word means more then one...so if "sela" means "mine"..."selala"means "mines"*smiles*we both get fun in making short sentences to tell eachother...with the words we know
and the understanding of the grammar i was able to call Sa'kura "my cutest little half elf "..."Sa nyyanalaan irilco aco"
**writing these last things he sees Sa'kura turn and look in her sleep for him with her arm...he quickly and quietly goes back to bed to let her feel his presence and to give her something to hold.....smiling he takes her hand and puts it on his chest **I'm not going anywere love **he wispers**He closes his eyes and dreams of a glorius wedding
on a cliff**
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*hastely scribled are a few points*
Addison dead ..another i knew bite the dust of eversleep...
Talked to Jacc ..he wants me to talk to dorena again ..will comply ,but wont go out with her alone.
Making rods to store magic now ..good trading thing ..lots of people want to buy those.
Got better at smelting again ...with the aid of my bull strenght ring i can smelt adamantium trivialy now.
Made the last two orders for Raven ..adamantium weapons ..two tries ,two successes.
Raven slowly is going bankrupt i think ..no orders came in for a while now ..seems they do something terribly wrong ..with me they lost the last link to newcommers ..Q left aswell...told them it was because hes not good enough ..i know better ...he cant work with some of them either ...and he feels used ..
never did he get anything he asked for ...was the same as with me ..wonder howlong Raven will hold out if nothing gets ordered and those running to get better have start to pay to be part of it.
if it gets to the point they go and leave ..if the right ones leave i'll offer my servises again i think ..its a shame the dream of the brothers is slowly crumbling into nothingness now..it hurts to see that ..but cant be helped aslong ...aaa well ..if they smart they know what has to be done.
Playing with the thought to start my own Guild lately ..i'm sure i could get Q to join...maybe i'll go ask around to see who is available ..getting others away from the guild they are in isnt my style ..maybe some free agents i could find ..or people looking for a good opportunity ..i'll see i guess.
Running around with Auuumi a lot lately ..in a strange way she seems to like me and is fun to be around...cant help but wonder whats going on in her head sometimes ...she still doesnt speak common well..i'm learning her some words and gestures..but i dont know if she understands them all.
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*New entry by Barion*
Life is slowly getting back to normal,i have been traveling with my love and some others around Dregar the last few weeks ...life can be good .
Something is wrong with the dreams sa'kura is having if i'm not around ....she cant or wont tell me ..but i'm no fool..i see it in her eyes..
She seems to be troubled alot by those dreams but sleeps sound if i'm around ...thats why i stay home more and more ...to protect her ...
The wedding might take sometime to plan ..we cant find Cray ..Q is busy with this shining hand thing .and Sa'kura seems to avoid the point lately..
Will my fears come true ?...Will the wedding once again not take place ..?Am i realy cursed in that way ...?
If this goes wrong again ...i'm not sure what to do then ...suicide is out of the question...moving to a nice dangerous place and get killed there might be an option though...no suicide ,but heroic death in a fight i cant win ...hopefully protecting the innocent with the fight...should make a grand ending of my life.
I know i'm a doomthinker right now ..but with all that happend in the past,there seems to me no other way i can think lately.
For now i hope all will be well and that its just my imagination that plays me ...No one loses three times i row ..or do they ?????
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*New entry by Barion*
GRAND NEWS ......THE WEDDIND WILL TAKE PLACE IN ABOUT FOUR TO FIVE MONTHS FROM NOW.......
Sa'kura is getting better at making rings and amulets i think ,we went out to get copper and silvet to make bronze.
I got somany coal laying around the house that i realy should pick up tinkering again.
A trip to firsteep had some unforseen results ,i went in against the wishes of Kobal to join a group inwitch Angela and most of the other members of Raven were in and instead of that i joined the other group containing among others : Ael,Sahala,Mith,Jard,Voon and many others...we went to the rift to get diamonds.We elected Ael as party leader and together with mostly Sahala and me we made plans and such.Object was to go deep into the rift....but because some had to leave we never got very deep...after that we decided to go to Firesteep ..nice thing was we met up with Serissa and Nyyana along the way and they joined us .Once on Firesteep things went well and we steadily got to the adamantium and cobalt ..while resting in the dwarven house near the mine i explained Ael and Sahala in a private room why i didnt want to go with the other group...I did this because i know both for a long time and i could see they wondering about it and in Firesteep you need to be fully focused or your dead...while i explained they listend and sometimes jumped in with questions like i knew they would ...but i never could expect the way the conversation turned ...Sahala and Ael are very close friends to Cray as it turned out ...they completely understood why i didnt want to go out with the other group since Angela was inthere ...Sahala has a bit of temper sometimes and she nearly exploded ...Angela is slowly destroying Cray as she has done with Abi....Cray hasnt been seen around for weeks and is not sighted in months while Angela was around.... She seems to be hiding and according to both Ael and Sahala is slowly going to be lost if this continues....Needles to say that they both want to have a talk with Angela about it ...and that talk wont be friendly of tone.Continuing further into the mountains to reach the next deposits of adamantium , some had trouble with the climbing and balancing over the slippery paths...on our way to the last hil before the deposits ,we needed to jump a chasm..i was looking and on the other side the goblins of Fisterion attacked the moment one of us jumped acros ..i didnt hesitata and was the next to jump...nearly i succeeded ..but one too many survived ..i fell...with my sacrivice i saved over half the group from perishing there and then ..it was a death well worth it..Serissa was the one that raised me ...she realy is growing in power my little teach...I told her that Vorax isnt the god for me ...after talking to some followers of Vorax and fighting with them in battles..i cannot see myself following him ...I told Serissa that i would once again talk to Quantum to see if he could enlighten me about Toran ...she said that was wise ..but that after i talked to Q she wanted to talk to me about Rofirein....she knows that i'm somewere between Toran and Aeridin with my heard and she claims that Rofirein is straight in the middle between them...my curiosity is awoken..she'll have her talk with me and i will listen openminded and with out predudice....If unconsius we display what we belief , i should be a Toranite....his colors are mine ..gold and blue...But Rofirein is definatly an option i will explore .
Then the good news ..Sa'kura and i had a talk ..i told her i was getting scared and why ..she told me that she tought i wanted to talk to Quantum before we could set a date ..i told her "WE get married love ...not them...it will be our day and those we invite will be happy that we let them share our happiness ..happy that we finaly found eachother and are willing to show that by holy bond"Her reply surpriced me and made me happy ..."set a date"
Nothing more ..just those three words ..we decided that we will get married in four to five months from now ....it gives us time tio maybe get in contact with Cray ...as we want her together with Q to lead the cerimony ...and if we find her ontime they both can work out what would work best ,with us at the lines ofcourse to tell how we have it in mind .I'm looking to Sa'kura as i write this ...i see her turn and get anxious ...when i get near and she can feel me she calms down ...the dreams that plague her must be bad ..i grief for her since it has to do with the loss of her family...i'll be there anytime she needs me ...without her my heard will stop beating and my life will be useless .
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*New entry by Barion*
Dire times are coming ...Sa'kura met a shade in Hlint sewers while getting white mushrooms...the thing spoke her name ...and told her she needed to know something....the shade put down a ribbon and left......the ribbon crumbelt as she reached for it ...she smelled something she hasn't smelled since childhood......this all i know because she told me...finaly she opend up ...a bit ...i'm fairly sure there is more ...i'm starting to think it has to do with me getting hurt ...she went back into the sewers to see if the thing would reapear ...i followed at a distance...she came back...AND SENDED ME AWAY.....she said she had to do this alone ....that the thing might not come if she wasnt alone ...she told me earlier she doesnt want to see me hurt ...many times she has said that now ....i fear she holding something back ....i'm no fool...she knows i'll give my life to protect her ...i get the feeling that she thinks that by not telling me all she protects me ...
How wrong you are in that my love,if i knew what could be expected i could prepare for that ...enlarge my chances to survive and keep you safe...i hope in time you'll see that ...and open up truely and confide in me,till then i'll be there nomatter what happens and will try to help in any way i can....i wont go to Q without you knowing or asking ....he is the expert on undead...Ozy offered to help you ...but not even Ozy knows more about undead then Q ....i'll be at your side and aid as much as i can ..with pain in my heart but filled with love ...I'll hide this journal till after either this thing is solved or till you trust me fully and tell me all .
E ceela aey Sa'kura sema aniral ceoa ( i love you sa'kura more then life )
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*This page is neatly folded to be stuck onto the previus one so it will look like it is only one page*
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*New entry by Barion*
*He mumbles to himself*
"Have to take some time to write this ...its bugging me ..a lot ..."
*He folds the page together with the previus one so it covers his writing on that and takes a quill*
I am a fool ...i always looked for the good in people ...i been used ...by most i met ..throughout the years i walked this wretchid place,lot of persons have used me ...i always denied it ..but from what i heard yesterday i know its true.
I wasnt in the mood for talking yesterday so i went out in my "disguise suit"...after i went to the bank,i saw a rather large group talking by the well...some of the known and wannabe heros of the realm were there....
I sat down unnoticed and un recogniced and listend a bit ...i nearly exploded more then once ...and to make sure i would remember i wrote down what was said and by whom.....
The imbecils talked about torching Hlint !!!Talked about together being powerfull enough to go out and do unexpected feats ...talked about Boergar being in comand in Pranzis and that he sat there good ...no need to try and remove him ...they are fine with him in comand in Pranzis and said it would be his right to burn Hlint ...and good riddens they grinned "burn it to ashes and then burn the ashes"..."put ashes in a small container and wear it around your neck..so you can say ..i wear a piece of that stupid little Hlint with me "..."torch the place ..it wont be a day too soon "...this kind of frases made my hair stand and my blood boil...nevertheless i stayed quiet to hear if i could find out more ...They realised that the streets of the town they were talking about wasnt the right place to continieu their talk .....They gathered again next to the townhall...i went up into the hall and listend from there ..i missed most i think..they were disturbed more then once and decided to go inside ...Angela suggested Raven house ..but they went in the townhall.
I was wondering how i could listen down there without being seen ..and i found the answer in dusts *grins*
Toran dust to be precies ..invisible i went down and listend out of sight ( holding a new dust at the ready to use if one would come my way) The talk was now about going out ..and the lack of "meatshields"....fighters ...i couldnt hear all ...outside this discusion was started already ..and there i heard Daeron say it was a pitty that Barion was not an option to come. A list of good fighters was then uttered ...weighed by these "powerfull" spellslingers on holdability ...a wall they could hide behind ...for none of them can take a punch .....hiding behind summons is there only chance if no fighter is there to protect their soft clean unscratched bodies i guess...Hearing them talk about fighters that way ...i lost all respect for most ..if not for all ...some of them i'll travel with ..and if i get the chance i'll get the monsters to them...so they can feel what we "meatshields "have to endure to protect their sorry butts.
All these socalled "heros"fell in my eyes from statue to dust ..if they dont have the intention to safe people they can die for all i care ...rather today then tomorow ....
*he slams the journal closed and leaves his house kissing the sleeping Sa'kura gently ..but shaking with anger...
he runs into Haven mines and with just his blade and armor he clears it from top to bottom and back up again ..letting his anger take over and stop thinking altogether ....badly wounded he leaves the mines to rest on a place only he knows and to calm down *
Editted: I took the names out i had originaly put in,if anyone read this with the names in it ..please forget them .
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*New entry by Barion*
Today was a grand day ..i made a blade for Miss Reventage ..probably the hardest blade to make from iron ...with her help and some good craftmanship i was able to forge a blade known as "Blade of the Dragonslayer"...this priceless blade is made from lots of ingredients and that makes it hard to forge ......
I trained for weeks before i offered to make the blade to Miss reventage ..my skill in making weapons is increased since i found another angle to pound the metal ..it makes sharper,better balanced weapons that way ....
My time i spend not available for most was in the great library ....i read books on Rofirein and the Knights of the Wyrm ....luckely some were written in elfs ,so i could practice reading elfs now ...with the help of the alfabeth Nyyana gave me i was able to read most ..improving if i readed longer everytime .
Rofirein realy seems to be dead center between Aeridin and Toran ...much appeals to me from his teachings ...not sure about the strikt rulesfollowing thing ...but i could manage i think..the Knights ..while i read the information about them ,i realised something weird ...Most of the things the Knights stand for.....i have been doing that for aslong as i can remember now ....it realy is time to find Tarradon Duvall ...the leader of those Knights as far as i can tell....
He could maybe shed some light on the duties required of a Knight ..if it is all i read ..then i realy would like to become one ...if Rofirein wills it ofcourse ...
*he closes the journal and gets next to sa'kura in the bed ,wrapping his arm gently around her sleeping figure and wispering* "I'm here again dearest ..sleep tight and sound ..i'l do anything to help you ..."*he sighs softly *"if only i knew what excactly bothered you ...i would search the lands for a solution ......but i respect your choice of not telling ..or not being able to tell ...all there is to these dreams "*he gently kisses her forehead and holding her in his arms he drifts into a slumber ..waking everytime she moves suddenly and comforting her then without waking her *
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*New entry by Barion*
*A tired but happy looking Barion goes around the house ,checking the room where Sa'kura's mother is in and after seeing she is fine he goes to the masterbedroom *
*He picks his journal from the table next to Sa'kura's side and after just standing there looking lovingly to her sleeping he goes to the cabinet to write *
Times are looking to be fun and peacefull again ,or atleast less hecktick and more normal then the last few weeks.
Sa'kura is saved from the thing that hunted her in her dreams and in the proces we managed to save her mother aswell*he smiles tiredly and rubs his chest*
The thing in her nightmares was a kind of vampire that held her mother to feast on her lifeforce ,since her mother was getting weaker he was trying to get his claws( or fangs) in Sa'kura to take her place .Luckely some others and me were there to help her prevent that and save her mother from its clutches.
I took point for the fighting bits and for the rest Sa'kura and the rest did the work,it was a struggle to get there and find a way to save her mother ...but the combined effort of a determined Sa'kura and friends prevailed *grins a bit*Truely a group you dont want to be after you for doing anything wrong ..
Once we were out of danger , her mother got caught by a coughingfit...i examened her ..she was slowly fading away ...her lifeforce taken and the remaining force weakend by the abuse she had undergone by that vampire....i told Cray and Serissa that there was no way to save her other then give her some lifeforce from someone else ...I offered my lifeforce ..as they both would be to busy praying to their gods to lose any themself..they stood there and did nothing ..i urged them to do it ..they turned and started praying ...but not to give her my lifeforce ..but to make her passing an easy one ...in desperation ..i started a prayer myself ...i asked Rofirein to give her some of my lifeforce ...first nothing happend ..i lost track of time as i prayed with all my heart ..and somehow Rofirein must have heard me ..i fell down weakend and disorientated ...when i came around a bit ...mom ( as Sa'kura and i both call her now )was looking a bit stronger and better ...the weariness i had felt lifted after a while ..and both Sa and me insisted she came live with us ..witch she accepted .
She is living with us in the house now and she and Sa are catching up on lost time ..both happy and laughing alot ...life can be good ..*he smiles*
Q had another task put up to him from the Shining Hand office ..he was to find a shade that would only be on our world for a short time and get information from it .The tripp was to go to Firesteep where supposedly a blind seeker was that could locate the shade ...We were about to leave ,when Elrend showed up.....I travelt with Elrend before ..and he is a necromancer ..maybe even a palemaster ..but in all my travels with him he never called on his dark powers ....he asked Q if he could join us for he knew where the seer was ,,all he asked for was to be allowed to join us there and that his safety would be garanteed..after some thinking ..Q decided to let him come along for time was of the greatest importance and -knowing- were the seer was should help us a lot ...*he sighs and ponders if he will write the next lines ...reading back in his journal he sees that he has always been complete in the things he wrote before ...so he decides to write the whole story *
Taking Elrend along ....now ..in retrospective ....we know it was the right thing to do ...when he asked ...war seemed to break out in the group that was to help Q ...Ireth made the most noice ..followed by Michaelis and Elladan ...Brisbane had her say ...Daren told some things ..Q replied some ....Jil and i stayed quiet for the most ...and Elrend ...he defended himself as he was attacked but never got out of line ..always stayed calm and foccused ..after some time ..(the biggering between Ireth and all that trusted Q 's disicion was still going ) we set out ..going into the singing forest we made a wrong turn it seems ...the pixies saw one of us and attacked ...Elrend fell ...so did Q ...Daren chose to raise Q ..as can be expected from a friend and needed to rest before he could raise Elrend ....that is when the trouble began ..i offered to carry Elrend ...right after that i had Ireth on my case ..i was to have double standarts ..i was wrong ...i wasnt the man she tought i was ...things like that came towards me as fast as Jacchri shoots his bow .....(and that is realy fast)hearing only half of the accusation thrown at me ..it was enough to get me mad ...i told her she is sick...and to be honest ..i realy think she is..she tried to get us sofar that we left Elrend there ..dead as he was ...good thing Daren and i have the same things in mind when traveling with others ...we never leave one ..no matter what he believes or does for a living ...as for Ireth ..she herself is blowing in whatever wind suits her best ...first she was married .then her husband left ...she fell in love with Remiel ..first Paladin of Toran ...he left ....she then hated all Toranites and everything related to Toran .....Remiel made her a promiss ...to be there if she ever needed his help ..she needed it and called on him ...he came and did his best ...he fell just before the situation was solved ..and i saw Ireth ...smiling above his dead body ..the body of one that gave his life to help her ..and she smiled ...glad he fell ...looking at her i never saw the hellball coming and died right there aswell ... has she looked to my body and smiled ?...i never will know ..but after seeing her smile over Remiel's dead body ..i dont put it beyond her ...a long time i have ignored her then ...only to hear a few months later that she was to marry ...i was happy for her ...i think she deserves happyness ...like all do ...but i raisee my eyebrow hearing she was to marry a TORANITE !!!!....talking about double standarts to me ...yeah right ....
Mich got tired of it ..so did Q ...i promissed to stop ..and ignored Ireth further ....when we went on ( Elrend was raised in the meantime )Ireth kept bugging Elrend i think ....we went the wrong way again ..this time resulting in another attack ..i saw Mich beeing attacked by a bear and he ran to try to keep it alive searching for Brisbane ....it tok to long to find her and the bear started to attack others ...Mich couldnt do anything else then strike the bear .i would have done it the same way as he did ..giving the bear a chance .but killing it if it gets dangerous for others ....That was the sign for others to start attacking Mich with words ...Brisbane told him how she tought about him ..Elladan ( love must make blind and dumb ) started to help his love ofcourse ...and again Ireth had found a reason to start meddling with another and gladly took the chance with both hands andf feet...the abuse that Mich got poured over him was uncalled for ...and he truely is a great man ...for he didnt go away but endured it ...he let the assualt slip of his back and stayed quiet after done his side of the tale ...Q was looking around desperate and desilusioned i think ..i felt he had thing on his liver ..i stayed quiet and near him ..letting the others do what they liked it seems and keeping a close eye on my friend ..when we arrived by the docks that lead to Firesteep.....
Brisbane was nolonger with us ..or atleast i didnt see her ...Ireth was attacking Elrend again with words and he was still calm and parrying her accusations with a calm and steady voice explaining things Ireth had wrong ...to no avail ...Ireth left angryly ..and Elladan ( what a surprice ) wanted to talk to Q for a moment ...from what i heard he couldnt come becouse of Elrend ...( double standards with him too ....beeing friends for years with Mith ..a known necromancer ..same as Ireth who saw Mith as one of her closest friends for a long time ) he said he was sorry to Q and left ...probably searching for his love ..(and that is understandable for that is an action i would take myself in a situation where my love would leave )..that left Daren ...Jil...Mich....Q...Elrend and me ...not surpricingly it went better after that ...the rest came again and all were busy helping Q ..the very thing we started out to do ....after we found the seer ,the worth of Elrend came to light ...the seer used his eyes to see ...we couldnt have brought the seer down with-out him ...Q's decision to take him along proved a wise one indeed...the seer told us the shade was to the west ..the only thing there i knew of ...the tempel i helped destroy so many years ago ...it was indeed there that we were to see the shade ...as we made ready to go in ...Cal ( one of the others competing for the Shining Hand position and almost a mother to Q as he says )showed up....she was honest and friendly ...she told us to go in since we were the first that found the place and offered to guard the entrance wich we gladly accepted...we went in and were attacked by the spiders that live there now ...after disposing of them we went in search of the shade ..and found him ..he gave us a riddle and departed ...now we need to wait for Q's next assigment to try to solve the riddle and hopefully get the job done and a new leader for the Shining Hand .
*he reads back what he has wrote and sadly smiles to himself *
"good thing i wont be alive when this journal is made public ..it would get me a few extra enemies i think"
*he gets in the bed with Sa'kura and holds her gently and looking content ...he looks to her calm features and smiles and wispers *
"I'll officialy ask your mother for your hand in mariage my love ...if your father was still alive i would have asked him "
*he uncontiusly continues in elven,looking to her smiling*
"E amillan ym ane irilela ireilcanqa nyirecwmal"( I want us to have healthy children"
"Illw ameanir cynyn aeym seaniram amenn laaa aniras"( And with luck your mother will see them )
*he smiles one last time and falls in a blessfull sleep*
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*New entry by Barion*
Busy and strangly enough calming and happy times are once again my share.
Busy because i have agreed to help out as freelance weaponcrafter for a guild that mostly exists of friends i made over the last years.
I offered them my services for a very low price,because i agree with what they are doing ang fully support their idears of doing buisness.
I also have agreed to show the members around and help them collect some materials they alone can not get easely.
Because i myself am currently looking at some options to do something with my skills,i did tell them i dont know howlong i would be able to keep supporting them by making weapons but that i would notify them if something came up to give them time to use my skills to gain a decent stock of weapons.
Having Sa'kura's mother in the house has helped me greatly to improve my elven and now i am able to speek it fluently,she realy liked teaching me i think.
The downside of her in the house was the restriction Sa and i had in our lovelife, it greatly influenced our private moments but none of us want her to leave.
*grins thinking back and happily starts writing again*
We did however found a way that we can be alone and away from everyone once again...i surpriced Sa'kura yesterday with something she could never expect.
We were in Pranzis,going to Q's house to use his portal when i stopped her in her tracks*grins*
"Wait love "i said ...and she stopped and looked wondering to me ..not knowing why i stopped her .
We talked a bit about the thing i am trying to do and then i surpriced her greatly "i wanted to buy you a house right here as weddingpresent dear "
She looked stunned "That is too much .....you need the money for what you are planning to do"*smiles*"I like our house in Haven ..i dont want to move"
I told her"Its only about 155.000 coins dear ...its only money ...besides ...if we need it we can always sell it again" She looked even more stunned then
I grinned and told her "Tie down your ox dearest ....we go to the bank and you are going to buy a house"That was the first time i seen her silenced in a while
*laughs as he pictures her face before his eyes and how she looked to him stunned and strangly excited at the same time*
"are you realy sure love ?" That was the first thing she could say after a few minutes studying my face"Yes i am "i simply said and waited for her to tie down the ox
We then went to the realestateagent to see if the house that i wanted to buy in the first place was still for sale and luckely it still was.
We went to the bank and grinning i gave her the money to buy the house"You realy are sure ? "She asked again..i just smiled and said "Yep"
I took her to the agent again and she hesitated again ,looking to me in wonder and disbelieve almost, i left her to buy a teleporting portal and listend from there....She seemed to gather her nerves and slowly came to buy the house *grins* She looked so overwhelmed and happy and feeling funny,only that sight alone made the buying of the house worth it for me .
We went to the house and i carried her over the threshold ..asif we just got married and entering our new house as newly wed...i felt her shiver and shaking a little with anticipation as we entered the house.
As i was in the house next door for more then once and the houses there all look the same i could show her around and tell her where she could find certain rooms and gave her some idears of how we can use the rooms ...after the showing around i placed a portal near the door so we have our own way in and out of Dregar now with out having to rely on other peoples kindness to let us use their portal.
The neighbour will be surpriced i think if he finds out what my plans are for the house*grins*but that is of later concern.....right now i'm tired and extremely relaxed after being able to have once again a perfect night with my love in my arms and no one around. I hope and know that we both will have many more nights like that and since we agreed to keep the second house a secret to others for a while *grins* I guess they will ask themselves where we went if they cant find us for a while .
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*new entry by Barion*
*Barion reads in his journal and ponders a bit,he picks up the quill and gets to the desk and sits down sighing a bit*
"Guess i have to write it down ...even mistakes should be made public for others to learn from..."
This entry i dreaded to make,but still i will be honest to all that might read it and spill the beans so to say.
The last few weeks werent the luckiest for me or those i travelt with,resulting in a lot of dead friends and some of them visited by the soulmother and i myself visited twice in a short time.My end is nearing if i cant find a way to get some more defence from the soulmother,life is ironic indeed...finaly Sa'kura and i have set a date for the wedding and here i go loosing most of my soulstrands in adventures that go well in the beginning but end realy bad .
I'll have to take it slow from now on i think,still got some time ...and the first death wont kill me right out ,but still....somuch to do ..friends needing me and hopefully a wedding and a life with my beloved wife and healthy children in the near future.
Two things of importance to report besides the failures in adventuring.
1: Made another Blade of the Dragonslayer.
2: Need to contact Q on something that recently happend.
1: Made a blade for Jard ,he supplied the materials needed and aided with spells and i made him a fresh new blade....i am carefull just WHO i make these blades for and if i half dont trust them i wont ....but Jard beeing a fellow Rofireinite and a good man made me decide that for him i would try.
2:There have happend a few things Q should know .....the Emerald of Beryl is on the survace and me and some others escorted him from Hlint to Hampshire were he went to a hidden tempel of Beryl....on our way we were attacked by undead....not some losely wandering ones,but some organiced and realy working together undead forces...the first time was easy and they were disposed of fast...the second time we first found an ambushed caravan and all in it were killed....as we were examening the remains my eye caught movement further on....undead walking under a flagg of Corath gathered and blocked the road behind us ....this group had mages and a priest amongst it ...after we prepared i went for the priest ..and my using of Torans stardust saved my life as i ran through the deadspells that were thrown to me ....what i didnt know,was that the group with the emerald was attacked from behind and fighting for their lives ..after disposing of everything in my way i turned and came in time to help get the rest of the undead to their knees ....luckily the emerald was still safe and no casualties were our share.We took the bodies of the dead merchants to Hampshire and after saying goodbye to the Emerald i escorted some back to Hlint.My money reserves are growing again and the guild i am helping is getting settled and starts to get known ,for that i am happy and i wish them all the luck and pleasure they can have from helping people in their own way .I'll keep helping out since i didnt have any contact over the things i was trying to accomplish ..but i'm sure that in time things will get clearer.
One more thing to mention..Sa'kura's mother has sought me out and talked to me ...it was a talk about her ..Sa'kura ..her family and myself ....she wants me to keep Sa'kura from seeking out her mothers family...i told her i'll do my best ...but i couldnt promiss that Sa would listen to me..for the first time mom gave a kind of a blessing to me getting married to Sa...she said i was a good influence on her daughter and it was obvius we both love each other deeply ..she smiled and told me that that pleased her and said she trusted me to be a good partner for her daughter.
Fear and anticipation are fighting inside of me ..fear for my life and a wedding ...anticipation for a wedding that is in my eyes long overdue...as Sa'kura said to others before ...in our thoughts we are already married....this wedding is to show our friends and the rest of the world what we already know ...we share a love and mutual respect for each other and are proud of the one we love....for the law there is a cerimony needed ...we already know and accepted in our hearts that we belong together.
*he puts the journal down on Sa'kura's side of the bed and knows he will face her wrath once she reads he lost some more of his precious lifepieces*
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*New entry bu Barion*
*He sits in the bedroom and looks to Sa'kura,her weddingdress is draped over the chest on his side of the bed and his suit is lying as an old cloth on her side on the floor,reminding of the afterwedding private party they held*
Finaly we did it,we married *smiles*mister and misses Firesteed *grins to himself* Sa'kura Firesteed ..i could repeat that a thousant times and still be happy and excited to say it.
The wedding was truely an event ,most we know came,some couldnt make it and left word that they were sorry that they were not able to be there .
When we headed out to Gnolls Watch , Hlint looked empty from adventurers,mostly you cant walk onehundred meters with out tripping over those,but the night of our wedding the town looked abandonend...most were at the site of the wedding already as we later saw *smiles proudly*
Once we got there i nearly paniked and thought my fears of another wedding not going to happen seemed to come true ....the caterer we hired...no ..the caterer that Q hired was nowhere to be found ...nothing was set up for the wedding and everything was still empty and dark..i wondered off to stand on the cliff and looked down for a short time ...thoughts of murder and revenge were fighting at that moment in my mind ...forcing myself to focus on the wedding stopped those thoughts and Q told me he would contact the firm to find out what was wrong and if it still could be set up .
The next couple of hours i lived in a state of disbelieve and wonder ...Q found another member of the firm ....she did a wonderfull job in a very short time for the things that had to be set up and i will be forever gratefull to her ...after that the wedding could start and again i lived through it in a daze ...Sa'kura was wearing a dress made by Nyyana ....never have i seen a more gourges creature then my own Sa'kura in that dress....all the guests and myself fell quiet at the sight of her walking up to me and Q *smiles and looks to Sa'kura*I swear that even the flaggs that were raised for different gods stopped making sound as she walked there ...radient and smiling happily she floated as on air to us and i was so stunned that the greating i had in mind for was completely forgotten at first.
Q held a ceremony that only could be done by him as the close friend he is...well chosen words and spoken from the heart,,,i knew that i had asked the right one for the cerimony ...but not even i could suspect that he would be that good *smiles thinking of Q *Due to unexpected circumstances Cray couldnt be there ,so my friend had to do it all alone ...and a marvelous job he did .
After a small speech he gave the word to us ...and i went first ..i told Sa the following or something very close to it *smiles*
"Before all those here and before every god that might be watching,I pledge my undying love and my life to you...You who lifted me from the deep slopes i was in and brought back light to my life ....I am yours "
After that i turned to the guests and told all lady's that i would nolonger be available *grins* Trying to ease the tencion a bit
Then Sa told me i was her life ...and most important ..i am her heart *smiles*
The wedding was closed by a kiss ..and the mages and wizards started a firework that i'm sure is not often seen *grins*
It took me a long time to get them in the fort to enjoy the food and drinks ...most the food Sa had made herself and i bought lots of juices from Nyyana who realy had worked very hard to get them done in time *smiles thankfully thinking of Nyya*
After all were gone ( and that was long after the wedding *grins ) I took Sa home and we had our private party ...it felt strange to call her Mrs.Firesteed....
but she took me by the hand and guided me to heaven *smiles and looks to her sleeping soundly and looking happy*
She realy needs the rest she gets now ..Mothers condition is getting worse and worse ..i hope we can keep her around for another while ...but it seems she is saying goodbye and after she saw that her daughter will be in good hands her condition is rapidly getting worse and i dont think she will be with us much longer *sighs*How cruel life can be ...first the thrill and excitement of the wedding ...only to be followed by a burial soon ....
*he closes his journal and goes back to the bed his wife is sleeping in and kisses her on the forehead*
"I'll go see how mom is doing love ...i'll be back soon"
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*New entry by Barion*
*Barion walks through the house in Haven and checks if materials and recourses are there,he checks the chests and cabinets and thinks to himself"If anything goes wrong atleast Sa has plenty of things to keep her busy for a while"*
*He grabs his quill and starts to write *
Just a few days left before we go and try to free the ones that were sold as slaves,the Underdark will be were we go ...and danger lurks there around every corner .
If i make it through that ,Quantum and Varka need help so i will go with them ,Q to get the assignment for hopefully the last task that can make him head of The Shining Hand and Varka didnt specify why he needs me ...but for my friends i will be there ..if i'm alive.....*he sighs deep*
Sa needs gold and silver ingots for her rings so i started to fill a chest in Haft Lake with those,the dangers in getting them are there .every mistake will be payed for ..but sitting at home and doing nothing just isnt me ...i travel a lot with Rain,Sonya,Serissa and lately with a Toran cleric named Dora .
I like them all very much and realy love the way Dora looks and acts,Her armor is just like mine ..and so are her thoughts at times .
Normaly i blame myself if things go wrong because i feel i have failed then ,it seems Dora is just like me in that ..she blames herself if she falls and is depressed as i am after falling.
Serissa and Quantum finaly are together *smiles*slowly their romance will grow i think ..they both decerve happiness.
I'm still trying to find a way to outsmart the soulmother ..but i dont know if that will work since nothing springs to mind that might be helpfull.
If anything happens and i should not return,*sighs* Use this journal to claim all my possesions that i leave behind my love,i hope it will be over years and years ...but i wanted to have writen it down before i go to the Underdark.
Sa'kura ,i love you with more then just my heart but i cant deny cries for help and stay at home safe ,i need to do what i have always done ,meaning aid the one that needs help if its for a good cause ...if that means my life is in danger..so be it ...if i would change then i think i would be better off dead anyway.
Know that all i have gathered is for you with a few exceptions that i promissed to others if the time comes,the chest with memeries upstairs i want devided between Nyyana and Serissa ...Nyyana knows what i promissed her and give the things Serissa can use to her after the unthinkable might have happend.
Dont worry to much my love,nothing has changed since our last talk ...if i can help it i will be around for another twenty years ..but i just feel the need to handle this while things still can be handled in a normal way ...dont want you to find a letter later .
I'll be training and focussing on Dregar to clear my mind and get ready to go to the Underdark ...hope to see you there before i leave *smiles* If not i'll come home to say goodbye myself .
*he closes his journal and puts it on her pillow* I know you'll be mad for me talking about my aproching end my love ..but i have to make sure everything is dealt with before it happens "
*he uses the houseportal and goes to Pranzis , takes in a large amount of bandages and goes hunting giants to get ready for a trip he fears but at the same time is looking forward too*
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*Barion walks into the bedroom looking furious,he grabs his journal and starts to read at the beginning,calming down a bit while reading*
*Finaly he stops reading and starts to stare out the window,trying to get his thoughts in order and ready to write the next entry*
"Better i write this when i'm calm "* he mumbles*"Althou nothing will change my feelings in this its better if i formulate it good "
*he sight a few times to steady himself and starts writing*
*New entry by Barion*
The trip is was so worried about was a complete succes,we fought our way to the gates of the drowcity and Ael and Sahala went in with the coins we gathered and bought our friends freedom with it.
Less then 20.000 was payed for them when they were enslaved,we payed about 600.000 for their freedom,a small price for two lives if you ask me.
Before we went into the underdark we found a body.....after some searching it turned out to be Lia's body...mutulated beyond recognition.
Finding her body made us ( or me anyway) more determined to get the others back safe and sound,i can only think of two reasons she was there in the first place...either to hide from the Black Wizards and failed,or to try to set straight the mistake Mith made herself.
Now we get to the part that has upset me and ruined my seeing Sa'kura again...My happines for being back safe and seeing her again faded fast.
First she hugged me and smiled but that smile faded fast and turned to tears held back...Mom is gone....she left this life in the library on Voltrex ,her homeland..Sa showed me a paper she got ..a last gift from her mother ...it describes the combination between a magicuser and a blade wielder...Spellsword its called and Sa thinks that it might be the thing she searched for for so long,i told her she has my support and that i would do everything i can to aid her in finding out more about this .
I told her that Mith showed up at the rescue and that after he payed his share and his promiss to keep to the plan Rawkwin and Ael made he was allowed to go with us....Sa was surpriced ..i told her that Mith earlier had refused to pay like we all did and therefor wasnt invited to come along....that i guessed he saw an opportunity to go to a place in relatively safe conditions and he could get better from it himself so he showed up..i told her again that i dont trust Mith ....and i asked her if he still was hanging around Nyya as much as he did before ....Sa looked at me and said we needed to talk and sat down....
Then things started ...Sa told mr Mith wasnt hanging around Nyya as much anymore .....seemingly there is a new girl in town that he has his hands full with .
And i got some other news that realy spoiled my day....Mith has offered Sa to be her mentor ...and Sa accepted that offer ..they were going out a lot while i was gone already and Mith told her he wants her in the Arcain Alliance.Mith .....the one that had demands getting into the Alliance himself ...and laughed away by the others as Daeron told me ....Mith....the necro that cant be trusted even if you see him ...the one with an agenda bigger then Ozy's ......Mith ...the thief and the one that refused to give a relic of Aeridin back to Elladan ...the one that stole a book from a dead lich....the one that left me unprotected more then once to aid others that fought behind me and withholding spells i could use to keep them safe...the one that rushed into a fight and got me surrounded and then disapeared to find a safe spot and work his magic from there ...the one that had an affair with Rhynn while she was his student and he was married ....THAT one is going to be my loves tutor....he was starting to gain a bit of my trust ....now all that is left is an urge to kill him ..slowly and painfully.....his luck is that he hasnt touched Sa in any way ...yet ...and that Rofirein doesnt allow me to be judge and jury ....
I SWEAR I WILL KILL HIM IF HE EVER TOUCHES SA IN A WAY THAT ISNT APROPRIET !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Barion gets up and paces the room ...letting his anger flowing away thinking of the special moments he has had and still will have with Sa*
*He returns to his journal and starts writing once he is calm again*
This all started with us listening to Mith telling his side of the story of selling the ones in the underdark...he is good ...realy good .....got us all to believe him...
Rhynn showing up and helping him by saying she forgave him and he realy had no other choice helped him a lot too i guess ...we rescued the other two now....as weak as she was ..first thing Lilli did was attack Mith ...so much for his story i think ..Ralinda just ignored him ...probably thinking it was better to get out of the underdark first and worry about Mith later....as i see it ...both blamed Mith for selling them into slavery and for him not getting them back sooner ...i guess Rhynn loves Mith and that is why she forgave him ..for the hatred i saw in the underdark is not something aimed at one if there was no other option.
I'll keep a close eye on Mith ..and the first false move he makes towards Sa will be his last ...if the law doesnt put him away forgood i will simply kill him over and over till he doesnt return .
*While writing the last line his face seems to turn to stone and his knuckels turn white from the pressure he puts on the quill he softly mumbles a prayer*
"Forgive me these thoughts Golden One ...but i can not stand by idle while another is after my love .....i know i might be breaking laws if i kill him ...but i hope i will be forgiven if i ever do kill him ...for my cause is just..."
*he puts his journal in his private chest and puts some thing on it so it wont be seen just looking in the chest*
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*New entry by Barion*
*Barion walks into the house looking tired and worn out,he falls in a deep sleep and picks his journal out of his personal chest when he wakes and starts writing*
We did it....we stopped the threat for now ..at least for now....
Let me explain ,Quantum got a new assignment and we ( his friends) went with him to help ofcourse.
During our rescue mission for the ones in the Underdark an army of undead had risen...Q was not there ..nor was Cal...so they send Gilbert to meet and see if he could stop the threat,he went with a the best that was available of the Shining Hand and they had not heard from him since.
Quantum first was reprimanded for not beeing available,but after that he got the order to find out and try to stop the army of undead ..one village already was destroyed and they seemed to be on a rampage near the the town of Hope in the desert there.
Quantum wanted to face the undeads head-on first i think *grins* But we finaly got him to see that such an action wouldnt work..so we did something else.
First we went to see were they could be,we found a camp with guards from Hope and talked to them,luckily for us they had scouted the area and could supply us with a map with the possitions of the undead and the types.
It turned out that there were shadows,skeletons and vampires surrounding a hill with the main force of the undead army .
The captain of the guard gave us information on another thing we didnt know ...according to him there should be two scrolls somewere on the battlefield that were specialy made to aid in destroying the army of undead...Gilbert had one and the man told us that Gilbert had went to the very center of the army...
We decided to start circeling the battle field and look for a captain from the Hope garrison that was seen as a very good tactician and see if we could use him to gain help from the guards of Hope in our plans .We found him not too far away and after a bitter fight with the undead that held him we were able to return him to his men.He gave us more information and we used that to go look for Gilbert and to see if the lionmen he mentioned could be persuaded to help us in this upcoming battle.
We found the lionmen and found out that they were there to aid Gilbert in the battle,after establishing that we came to help Gilbert to they aggreed to aid us in the same way they would aid Gilbert...luring off some forces to destroy them and get some room for us so we could move about a bit once the battle started.
After a long search we found a hole in the ground with corpses around it ...Gilbert wasnt one of them ..we went into the hole and fought undead there ...in the last chamber we found Gilbert had made a small camp as final stance ...After he found Q and talked to him a bit he agreed to help us with the scroll he had once we would start the battle with the other scroll....problem was that that scroll was lost somewere on the battle field and we needed to find it first.
After a long search and some very unnerving battles with undead we finaly could secure the second scroll...after that things happend fast after eachother
Quantum used the first scroll and lots of undead were destroyed fast and without us to have to fight them ...during this Gilbert used his scroll and more undead perished ..all that was left of the vast army was now reduced to a force on the central hill ...we got ready and after wishing eachother good luck we formed a line to face the undead that came storming off the hill....we fought hard and well organized ...we held our ground and destroyed every single undead that was foolish enough to came to us ...after the waves of undead stopped we looked to eachother and nodded to eachother ...the hill needed to be cleared ....we prepared as good as we could and stormed the hill ...killing every undead left on that hill....Rofirein was with us that fight ..we won...heroicly
Just under the top of the hill we found a lich and killed him ...when searching his body we found a scroll...another riddle ...something about a forest and hordes of undead lurking in the darkness...Q took the scroll and us to the tempel of Toran in Llast and handed over the riddle to the one that gave the order to fight the army ..they were surpriced to see us ..thought we would have failed ...relieved they greeted Q and us ..and putting the riddles together we have a fairly sound idear were to look for the army of undead...Quantum told them that Gilbert deserved a piece of the glory of defeating the undead army ...but Gilbert already told them that he would forgo on that honor and that Q was the one that decerved it....that means Q gets the vote ..if i'm correct he has all the missing votes now ...but the leadership of the Shining Hand has to wait if i know my friend a little ....i am sure he first wants to solve the riddles and see if he can do something about that horde of undead supposedly lurking in the darkness...I'll be at his side again if he plans to go out and face those ....i'm sure all that helped him sofar will be honored to fight side by side with Q again to stop a possible threat to the world .
*Barion puts his journal in his chest again and stares out of the window*
"Now its time to find out what is wrong and why Varka called on me to help"*he murmers*"I'll be busy again my love ..i'll try to be back as soon as i can "
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*new entry by Barion*
Finaly a week i could use to rest and do some things that were long overdue.
Sa'kura is getting better and better in her crafts ,i read a poster from her were she offers jewelery that are hard to make.
After reading the poster i went home to check on the materials we have and i found that she used lots.
Someday soon i'll have to set her straight again ,i dont have much rules for the materials i get,just two that i want to be followed to help me keep an oversight of what is there and what i need to get .
First rule is that i want a full chest of every metal i can get,second is that first one chest has to be empty before the contens another is used.
Sa'kura keeps having troubles with those rules,again i found two chests of silver not completely full and even my chest of iron was not filled.
Maybe after the talk she'll be mad for a while,but i dont ask much and the making up is great*grins*
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*New entry by Barion*
The last few weeks were slow and soothing,nothing of interest happend and i had time to think .
Lost in thoughts i missed a few things that i wont forgive myself,Quantum was send out again and i was missing and Varka wanted my help but i got to read the note long after the time he needed me.
After a few days looking for Sa'kura i gave up and let the silence sooth me and clear my mind,Sa'kura will be alright and i'm not missed it seems.
My friends do well even if i'm not around and i still had no word from the Knights of the Wyrm so i guess they dont need my services either.
Seems that all that is left for me is to get better in my craft and live the rest of my life in reasonable silence and solitude.
When your love and your friends dont need you ...what use is there in living?
The feeling of being obsolete eats me more then before,what is my purpose in this life now?
What is the use of being one of the best weaponmakers if you cant get the materials you need to train to get even better ?
What was the use of getting married when after the wedding you dont see your wife ?
What is the use of this journal? Do i realy think that others will learn from my experiences?
Who am i kidding? I'm nothing more then a man that did his job and now is too old to be taken serious.
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*New entry by Barion*
It has been three months now that i saw Sa'kura , i miss her more then anything else
I had a small run with the Angels guild and that made me realise that i'm still needed by some,while on that gathering run i met Jard.
He is the closest thing to a spellsword i know,so i asked him if he could maybe talk to Sa'kura ....he told me he would do even more then that,he knows one that walks the path Sa'kura choose to walk and he would try to bring them both in contact with eachother.
My skills in weaponmaking cant be further advanced with iron now,to be able to learn more i realy need adamantium now,since i'm not strong enough to get it myself i decided to get into some others crafts .
My tinkering is going well and since i pass iron when i go out to get coal,i decided to go for armormaker too.
That way i still can mine everything i get on my path with a purpose, i realy hate to leave things i could maybe use .
To start anew i started to empty the chests in the house ,once they all are empty i'll start with a fresh layout and a steady place for things again .
I hope Sa'kura can find herself then to uphold the lay out and stop putting things in chests they dont belong.
I miss you my love ....i'll be around Hlint a lot and i hope to see you again and that things are going well with you .
You can recognice me easily ...i'm the lonely looking man that crafts to forget ...
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*New entry by Barion*
*With a deep sigh and a strange expression showing relief and grief at the same time Barion takes out his journal and slowly start to write*
These last days were hard and sweet at the same time,a friend died and my love and i got reunited.
The friend that died was Elgon,Elgon merrick....a fine warrior and a good companion in the guild outings i attended with the Angels Guild.
His friends in the guild and i'm sure those outside the guild will miss this fine man and from what i have seen,fine friend.
Being present at the wake they had for him,i knew where he had fallen for the last time,to give his guildmembers the opportunity to grief with eachother without strangers i took my leave early and went to the house to see if maybe i got lucky and would find Sa'kura there.
When coming home i saw i had bad luck again ...no sign from my love...
After a while Serissa came in and i told her what happend to Elgon,in a way i knew that talking about it would make it easier to accept it ...or atleast for me that seems to work.
After the talk about Elgon ,i told Serissa what Quantum and i are trying to accomplish....saving The Orcbashers from the state they are in now...a nonworking ,not runned guild that slowly will resolve in forgetfullness if nothing is done about it.
We know we need five fine ,or atleast to some extend , skilled crafters to even have a change of saving the guild.
Knowing that we now only are three that are willing to save the guild ....Quantum,Kharl and me ...and that Serissa is getting good in the crafts she does ...( and the fact that she is Quantums girlfriend) I asked her if she would join forces with me and Q if the time comes when we need crafters.
To my joy and delight she said that she would help in any way she can once Q and I ..and Kharl..need her.
After this talk i wanted to go get some iron,so i was placing things in chests to make room,when we heard someone scream and knock on the door.
It turned out to be Sonya ...completely upset she told us that Rain jumped through the portal in the guildhouse and said that he would get revenge for Elgon....completely drunk.....
Looking to Serissa i told Sonya that i probably knew were he would go and that she should use my portal to jump to Pranzis ...with a nod Serissa made known that she would come and we jumped there ...
Out of the city we prepared and ran off to the cave in the forest of Mist where i knew Elgon had fallen ...we came just in time ...Rain was completely drunk getting ready to charge a complete tribe of giants...the few that saw us i quickly desposed off ..and seeing Rain looking to charge the others,i had enough of it ...i picked him up and carried him to safety.
I put him down and turned him to face Sonya who was standing there unable to do something,tears in her eyes glistening , both from anger and from hurt.
I ripped off Rain's helmet and made him look to her ,asking if he would leave this woman and his children behind alone ...calling him a fool and a moron .
After he looked to her and partly understood what i was saying, i made him go to Sonya and talk to her ...giving them some privacy while guarding a bit further on with Serissa.
They had a long talk and Sonya said something about Rain remembering more of his past then he ever did before,i missed most of their conversation ..talking to Serissa about losing friends and the fact that you never get used to it no matter howmany times you get in that situation.
Serissa asked me if i had lost friends before and told me she tought it would be many ..i told her that every friend you lose is one too many....
Suddenly i heard a voice that made my heart jump with joy even in this situation..Sa....my love ...she ran into us ...I turned and both of us couldnt believe our eyes ....three long months we haddent seen eachother ...three long months of pushing the pain of missing her away with crafting my head off....
And there she stood ,looking even more beautifull then i remembered...tears in her eyes when realising it realy was me that stood there .
We talked a bit and then got back to Rain and Sonya and propossed to get out of the Rain and go to the lake .
Sa helped Sonya up and i helped Rain to the lake ,Serissa followed us and started praying a bit .
When looking to Rain,i saw that he wasnt completely there ...his eyes were empty and he looked like an undead almost ....
I picked him up by the ankles and dumped his head a few times in the lake ...no responce...i tried to gently slap his face a bit to get him out off the state he was in ...no responce ...his eyes shifted a little ,but he went back to the state he was in before....Serissa said it might be a good idear to put him in a bed ,but i thought it would help if i slapped him a bit harder ...and finaly ..after some slaps ...it did ...once back in our world, he started to talk to Sonya again and i asked Sa if she could come with me for a minute.
She came and i apoligized to her for being away so long and explained it was my foolishness that kept me away ...nothing she did ,just my wrong idears.
Sa gave me some news that i realy didnt want to hear ..not now ....not while we just found eachother again ....she lost another soulstrand ...she told me that every death from now on could be her last ...i still cant get myself to believe this...not now ...not her ....i told her that i would give her children to keep her safe at the house...i truely hope that we get the time to get children and raise them to be good people.
Serissa left us to go praying and Rain and Sonya came to us because Sonya was tired....Rain asked me if he could tell Sonya now ...first i didnt understand what he wanted to tell her ..but he reminded me of a talk him and i had and i remembered.
I told him he could tell her and that we could execute the thing he was going to tell her right when we got back to Pranzis.
Rain finaly told Sonya what it was ...i agreed to give them a small loan to help them buy a house to get more room for themselves and the children.
They bought the house opposit to the house i bought Sa and Rain told Sa that she could come visit to see the little ones as often as she wants.
I was glad that the day ended with something good ..i think we had our share of bad news for quite some time to come.
*Barion closes his journal and looks lovingly to Sa'kura ,who is sleeping in the bed....he kneels before the bed and starts to speak a small prayer*
"Golden one....i know that i am not one of your followers that trusted in you openly from the start of my life.....i had my doubts anf thoughts...mainly about me not being good enough to be one of your followers...now i am on knees praying to you and i hope that you will hear me ...please look after my love...please let her be in my life a bit longer ......i will try to act in every way your faith is steering me and i hope that my actions do you proud....shelter my love with your scales....guide her with your magnificent wings...let your claws give her the strenght she need to stay in this world ...please help me to keep my love safe ...thank you my Lord Protector for getting us back together again ..."
*He kisses the emblem that is hanging from a neckles around his neck and gets next to Sa'kura in the bed ...kissing her forehead without waking her and gently putting his arms around her *
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*new entry by Barion*
Not much to report here,working on my armormaking is realy timeconsuming and both Sa'kura and Serissa working on rings gets me through my metals faster then i can get them.
Sa'kura has been feeling bad the last few weeks when getting up,we dont know what is wrong but i'm sure we will find out .
Soon the time will come that i'll have to stop helping out the Angels guild,the talks with the members of The Orcbashers are going the right way and it seems that we,Quantum,Serissa and myself, will be joining the last members and get the guild back up to its glory.
I am realy happy about that because for me the guild holds a special memory.
When i was called here long long ago i met a man named Kaiser Tell...he was a fine and strong fighter and for a while a close friend.
He sold me my first iron sword and took me to a shop in the centre of Hlint to buy my other equipment from a dwarf named Gloin.
The shop was the shop of The Orcbashers..in a way i owe them my life and i am still proud that i met this dwarf ,for he was a formidable crafter and a very good fighter.
To make sure his legacy wouldnt wither away i made a lot of effort to get into The Orcbashers to help return it to former glory...and finaly it seems to be happening.
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*new entry by Barion*
I'm not sure if its true ..could it be ? ...or is Sa'kura right and is it just some illness?...I hope the people i talked to are right...i hope Sa'kura is right...
I'm not sure ...am i ready ? ....are we ready ? .....can we live up to the responcibility?...can i find time with all that is about to happen ?....i better can...
I talked to Dora and Serissa and Ferrit ...they think Sa'kura is with child....it would explain the tiredness i suppose....Sa herself isnt sure if she is...
We talked and she will see a healer to make sure what it is ...i'm scared ...and i'm happy ...i'm confused ...but thankfull if she is ....i'll make time...
The Orcbashers ...they will take time too ....how can i manage if she is with child ?....I need to keep an eye on my love....she has to be kept safe....
I .....i.....couldnt live if i lost both my love and an unborn child ....i'm going to keep her busy with crafting..i need to get her more things ...much more ...
I'll burry her in work ....no...no thats not good ..she would be too tired to nurse the child ....what to do ?.....Why now Golden One ?.... Why now ?....
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*New entry by Barion*
The last few days were filled with happiness ....and grief ...and fear and uncertaincy.
Happiness and grief for two things *ponders* No ...three things....
Happiness for Rain and Sonya ,they became the proud parents of three goodlooking children,Sonya felt it in Hlint and i was called for by Serissa that was with her .
I was in a conversation that i will try to explain a bit later ...
I carried Sonya to Krandor and there she gave birth to the children and everything went weel ....Rain asked me to be godfather of them and i was honoured and promissed that i would take care of that ...
The conversation i was in .....reason for both happiness and grief ....happiness for seeing someone i thought was dead ....grief for letting her down .
Sabrissia is back ....the love i lost and had been searching for for over ten years before i comitted myself to Sa'kura ,my beloved wife ....
She was standing on the platform in Hlint ...not saying anything and unnoticed by me ....Sa saw her and wondered what this "newcomer"was looking at ...
I looked ...i looked again and thought i was seeing things .....as in a dream i walked up the platform and spoke to her ...making her turn ...things went black for a short time ....when i could see again i was on the platform ...on my back ...it REALY is Sabrissia ...she lives !!!...Sa came running seeing me fall down ...
so did Serissa and Varka ...maybe even more ...i dont know ...Varka warned Sabrissia not to do anything to me ....he didnt know ...Serissa and Sa'kura ...
They knew the moment i told them her name ...i told them both the story of me and Sabrissia long ago ...they wanted to leave us alone and talk ...i asked Sa'kura to stay ...she did ...I talked to Sabrissia and told her i have been looking for her a long time ...*sighs* Untill the time i could do nothing else then assume she was dead...She told her tale ..or atleast part of it ...travveling through the planes to get home to me she was caught ..i dont know yet what caught her ..but i will find out ...they kept her prissoner all those years ...abused her fisicaly and maybe even more then that ...her face with the blue eyes and the frekkels now shows scar's ..they will pay for that ...the planes *sighs* the one place i couldnt search ...WHY!!!*he sighs deep*
She was very understanding ...but i think that was a pose ..she told me that the memory of me and the returning to me kept her alive and searching for a way out ....it must have hurted her deeply to hear that i have moved on ...got married and learned to love another...she probably wont hate me ...but i know she is disapointed to say the least ...she saw in my eyes that i love Sa'kura ...and i saw in her eyes that she still has feelings for me ...she wants to be friends and so do i ...i just hope that our feelings wont bloom up ..no ...they cant ...i love Sa'kura ...after all those years my feelings for Sabrissia ...confused me ...i was caught off guard ...i was ...i dont know what i was ...*sighs*...my love for Sa'kura will prevail ...Sabrissia is part of my past ..an unfinished part ...but still my past .
Just before i met Sabrissia i met Sa'kura outside the gates of Hlint ...she made me happy ...she knows for sure now...she is pregnant ...we are going to be mom and dad *smiles thinking of a small child*
Sa'kura was still scared and so was i ..but we will be good parents i think ...she is a natural with baby's as we found out later ...the children of Rain and Sonya ...we both were honoured by them to hold a baby ..it felt weird at first ...but wonderfull ...Sa had fainted two times in a short while and i wanted to get her home ,she first wanted to see the new baby's ...i carried her to the bedroom and we looked ..i told her that either she would ask to hold one ..or i would carry her home ..Rain offered her a girl ..and me the boy they just had ...Sa lived up and suddenly i knew that she will be a great mother *smiles*
More good news ..i am officialy a member of The Orc Bashers now,getting the guild back on its feet and back to the glory they deserve will be hard work ...but with Cole and Kharl and Quantum and Serissa and me and maybe Garnet ...i think we can do it .
All it needs is just a few changes in the way things are run and then we could become the guild The Orc Bashers were long ago again.
Then the bad news ,i got a letter a few days back .."The Voice"its called ...it describes the death of the princes in Pranzis ...and talks of the Rofirein church as accomplices og the blasted dwarf ...mthe faith i found not too long ago is in dire straights ...the church could stand allied with the dwarf ...accepting his laws as rightfull ...i swore i will never stand and defend the laws made by that madman ...and if i want to keep my word ...i will end up outlawed by the faith that means so much to me ....
I told Serissa that i will never accept his laws to be rightfull ...and if nessicary i will try to get others to help me and revolt against the church if they DO accept them ....if things go like Serissa expects ..that will be my course of action ...i only can hope that Rofirein himself will have mercy on my soul then ...for i WILL NOT bow to that dwarfs laws ...they are ridiculus and far from the laws that i was following before ...i CAN NOT accept that Rofirein would agree to step over to the laws of the mad dwarf .
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*new entry by Barion*
IT HAPPEND !!!!!I"M A DADDY NOW !!!!!
Pink hair just like her mother *smiles* Abigail Firesteed is in good health and both Sa'kura and Abigail are doing great .
I need to go to Hlint and show her to all that i know *smiles* guess some will be frightend that the Firesteed 's have expanded
*looks to the little girl in his arms *
"I'll do my utmost best to be there for you everytime you need me Abigail"*kisses her softly* "You make me so proud "
*He looks to Sa'kura who is resting in the bed smiling* "Thank you my love ...for this wonder i am now holding .....i'll do my best to stay alive as long as possible just to make sure we both are there while she grows up "
*he walks to the bed and gently puts the blankets around Sa *
"You rest now dearest ..i need to show our daughter to all that want to see it "*grinning he walks off ,thinking of the faces he will see once he walks into Hlint holding his daughter*
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*new entry by Barion*
*Barion walks through the house in Haven and looks around at the things left inthere,he sighs and gets his journal from the cabinet at Sa'kura's side of the bed .He puts down Abigail ( who is now one and a half year old ) and sits on the bed ,reading his last entry.Tears fill his eyes remembering the moment and for a short time he just sits there and cries.After a ashort time he feels Abigails pulling on his feet and he gets a grip on himself again,he plays with his daughter and finaly he puts her to bed on Sa's side and watches her sleep.Gently he gets up not to wake his daughter and goes to the table with the quill to write in his journal*
I promissed to keep this journal and report about all i experience and explain the way i think about things,so i will continue to do that .
My life has been a hell lately and that is the reason i have taken my time to open my journal and write again.
Sa'kura ....she is dead ...i am robbed of my wife and Abigail is robbed of her mother.
With out a second thought the soulmother harvested her final strand and left us with only memories.
I was broken,but good friends and Abigail made me pick up my life again.
Still i dont go out much and still i have times that all feelings seem to be gone,Love...hate...grief...happines....there are times i feel nothing.
The things i do for the guild are down to a minimum and with some actions i probably made some people mad ..or atleast sad.
The hardest thing i had to do ...burrying Sa....I decided that it would be only me and Abigail that would be there to say our final goodbye to Sa.
I took her body and Abigail to the hidden town she grew up and burried her there under the most beautifull cherrybush i could find.
For the first time in her life Abigail was quiet and subdued i think...both her and me sat at the grave for over a day with out food or water ...not feeling anything( i could tell Abigail didnt need anything by the way she dug into me and refused to let go even if i offered her food or drinks )
All kind of terible things have happend since her departure from us ..but in my mind they all were just not as importand as my daughter.
Hurm was hit by black dragons and infested with a plague...Q was one of those that was near and he let himself be sealed in the town.
I found out and went with a group to find the cure for that plague...we found it ...and we found more ,but that is something i will write about later.
Haven is in danger ...gnolls from somewere no one knows are trying to take the place of the ogres in Haven mines and are a danger to the population of Haven itself.
I talked to Ozy and he gave me a few leads that might help me find the source of these gnolls and maybe ...just maybe...if i can get a strong enough group...maybe i'll be able to help defeat these gnolls and the ones that have send them.
I met Brualot ( head investigator ) and asked him if he could help gather information aswell.He did and we know a bit more ...but not nearly enough to go out and try to solve this.
If Ozy is right,its origin in something called "ancient ruins " or its original name "Arindo's rest".
This could be the most dangerous place anyone ever has gone to,but if the solution is there ,i'll have to go and do what i can.
I'm too tired now to write more and will leave it at this.
*He looks to the bed and smiles looking at his daughter sleeping peacefully*
"I will continue to write this journal for you Abigail,maybe it will help you understand your father and help you to get a image of his life if ever he will go on to the next step"
*He gets next to her in the bed and holds her gently *
"Sleep little one ...i'll be there once you will be big enough to understand and will tell you all you want to know then"
-
*a new hastily scribed entry by Barion*
They want me safe ...they want me not to endanger anyone ...they want Abigail to have her father ....they can have their way .
I'll simply become the ghost they want me to be...materials will apear in the chests in the guildhall....i will be present for everything that i find important .
For the rest ....i'll be the ghost they want ...not seen ....not in danger ...not in anyones way .
-
*New entry by Barion*
After some time alone with Abigail and the vilagers from the little vilage that Sa'kura and her family grew up in,i decided that i cant run away from my responsibility to the world .I once again shall show myself and do what i can to save asmuch as possible from this cursed world as i can.
I will start anew and work hard to make The Orc Bashers the greatest guild there is,furthermore i will aid where ever possible to help make this world a better place.I have been summoned to the tempel in Velensk to defend myself and i will go there with my head held high.
For now i find it comforting that Abigail will stay in the small vilage and is looked after by the nice and good people there.
I will go there three times a week to play with her and tell her the story of her mother once she is old enough
My heart and soul are shattered,but i wont show it to others,instead i will go back to the time before even Shelu...i will flirt and go out ..but will never fall in love again .
Maybe this is a sign for me ...take the good things of life ,but dont commit yourself to anyone else then your daughter...it will be hard.
-
*new entry by Barion*
We did it .....the rightfull king of Bloody Gate is back on his throne.
Varka is now warlord of the united dwarven clans of Bloody Gate.
My time i have spend crafting mostly,got a bit better in armormaking and i feel close to understand tinkering better.
The flirting with women seems to be something that comes natural for me,being nice and complimentary seems to be the way to most women hearts.
I am sure it could get me into trouble one of these days,on the other hand ...i try to keep some distance with the women i meet.
Most dont see through my charade of happiness and dont seem to understand that i could make love to them if they want but are unable to love them.
The wound is still too deep and i doubt that it will ever heal enough for me to be able to love anyone else then Abigail.
I heard of Coratites and Pyrtechionites that walk the streets openly now.....if only the church would give some guidelines on how to proceed with that ....
The accusations against me from the church are solved and there will be no further hearing over it.
A small group of us went to find some followers of our ally Vorax,they ventured into the cave in the Fens to find a thing but never returned.
We found their dead bodies and a journal that is still in the possesion of Jennara and we found a recipe that discribes what to do with the seeds .
After presenting the recipe to Reus,wich took a fair amound of time due to the fact that most there didnt trust him,he left and came back after half an hour and returned the recipe to me.
I asked permission and got it to give the recipe to the druid that was with us ...i did this to show the druids that we as Rofireinites are willing to work together with them to secure the seeds.
If the druids try to use me or my friends in any way and after that simply ignore us, i will see if i can bring them to court.
If i was to judge them i would say that these stuck-up arrogant selfproclaimed saviors of nature think that animal life is more important then humanoid life.
Ofcourse they dont follow that rule if they themself are in any way in danger and need help from their animal friends to hide behind...but that is something they never will admit too openly.
If i had one coin for every time i saw a druid call on his animal friends to save him or her i would be the richest person on this world.
-
*New entry by Barion*
The house in Haven is almost empty now,not having to go there will help with me getting back up on my feet i think.
Soon i will sell the place and be done with it,the things that stood in the house and that i hold dear i will place in Pranzis.
I have re- met some one and strangly enough i feel at peace and understood by her...she is a big help in me getting back on my feet and if i listen to my heart then i hear things that i find scaring and soothing at the same time...could it be ?.....*sighs*....maybe in time.....time...
We had a good talk and we were both open about our feelings of hurt and our mutual wish that if it ever happens it will be for ever...
She didnt know i was talking about her when i told her that i met some-one that could maybe be the one....nor am i sure that i am the one she told about that could break through the shell that she has put up....i only can hope and wait ...as it seems now , we will be traveling more together and maybe....just maybe...we grow closer to eachother.
Abigail is growing bigger and gets stronger and more clever every day ...i took Dalan along and she was happy to see him ...they played for a long day and i think i saw the dwarf swallow away some feelings*smiles* Sa was close to him and i'm sure that he will be there if Abigail ever needs him.
The guild is getting shape now,the guildhall is now filled with chests and i'm doing what i can to fill them ...some still need to learn that the same things should be in one chest and not spread out over more chests so i can monitor what it is that is needed and can refill the chest then ( Quantum and Tegan)
But i'm sure that once the poster of row indication that shows wich row is for what craft will help with that.
Lovely Miss Tegan has joined us ,she is an exelent taylor and finaly the skins i get are used again...getting things she needs is one of the things i realy take pleasure in*smiles looking out*She has been hurt in love before and her crafting was difficult because she lacked the support in gathering skins she needs .
We havent had word from Sh'anda yet,i invited her to come to our meeting and wanted her to join us aswell...i hope she is alright and we can talk about her joining us again soon.
-
*New entry by Barion*
*Barion looks to his sleeping daughter and smiles, he removes the journal from his pack and starts to write*
The days i spend with Abigail are more and more a source of peace for my mind and soul,i can be myself and dont have to pretend anything.
Seeing her laugh and play and the way she looks at me in admiration are among the best things in life.
The Orcbashers shop in Hlint has be remodelt and we have made it almost ready to have a grand opening.
The guildhall is now for threequaters filled with chests for materials we need and we are working hard to get our stock up .
I have spilled the beans so to say, i told Tegan i have feelings for her ,but could not tell her if i love her ..yet..
She took her time in answering and she sounded thruthfully when she did.
She can not commit herself to some one in a relation just yet but we will see how things go and take it from there.
I feel relieved that atleast i wasnt laughed at and not rejected.
We are working on a poster to place on the tradeboard so people can see what we have to sell and howmuch we charge for it.
Even without the poster we already have people coming in and asking about things,so i think we will be alright soon.
There has been a clash between members and it resulted in Kharl leaving us.
I still feel sorry he found it nessicary,but he was the one that held the rest back a bit.
He couldnt let go of the old way The Bashers was led and every else wanted to change that, a clash was coming sooner or later i guess.
*Barion puts his journal back in his pack and plays for hours with his daughter and her friends, they love to play hide and seek...because it is so easy to see Barion* ( not the smallest of persons).
*after a long and happy day he brings Abigail to her bed and reads too her from his journal and from Sa'kura's journal,lovingly explaining to her who her mother was and softly speaking to her untill she soundly is to sleep*
"I will be back in two days Abi and i will bring uncle Dalan along ...sleep now and pay attention tomorow when miss Claire teaches you things"
*He pulls the blankets up to her head and kisses her forehead gently before he walks off*
-
*New entry by Barion*
*Barion walks into the village Abigail is staying and with out going to her class he goes to the cherriebush were he burried Sa'kura,he says a small prayer and then sits in a spot that lets him see most of the peacefull village and the door that seperates him from his daughter*
*sighing he takes out his journal and starts to write*
Finaly some off the guild came together to gather materials.
Serissa,Quantum,Tegan and myself went out together to get malar skins,silver ,saphires and gold.
The getting of those things went well and we searched for something called "dark silk"
After a long search we even found it*grins* We pledged not to tell a soul were we got it,so i wont even mention the place here.
We got carried away after that and decided to go get diamonds from the Great Rift.
All went well and we safely reached the first deposit and annihilated the drow and giants guarding it.
After mining the vein we got oveconfident*sighs and looks up*
*mumbles"We should have known better..."*
We decided to go for the next vein that is deeper in the cave,i wish we had not.
The drow there must have heard the noice from the first vein...they were waiting and ready .
From the corner of my eye i saw a drow run past the front and attack Tegan...I turned and tried to kill it and i think i succeeded in that.
I went back to the front and wielded my blade with all my might,chopping drow after drow...but they seemed endless.....
First thing i heard was Tegan screaming "Help!!"
After that her voice went silent....*sighs deep*...Serissa fell with out a chance to scream...quickly followed by Quantum.
I did what i could and kept slashing at the drow ...but allas...i fell...even after taking out six or so off them they swarmed me and i knew i didnt stand a chance....my rage over the friends and the one i have feelings for falling made it impossible to retreat and i payed for it.
*sighs seeing the door open and his daugther coming out* Now i'm left to tell her how it is possible that daddy fell*looks up and sees Abigail running to him holding out her arms to be picked up*
*he quickly puts the journal away and catches her in his opened arms* "Hello honey..."
*he looks into her eyes and sees the fear in them*
"Dont be affraid Abi...daddy had a small accident ..but all is well"
*he smiles to her and cant help but think about the first time he went out with Tegan and that he failed hwer misserably*
*Abigail looks into her fathers eyes and with a small voice she tells him "Dont you go away like mommy did daddy.....i want to be with you ..."
*slowly he lifts her up and smiles as their eyes are at the same height*
"daddy wont go away ...you wish he had once you are old enough to have boyfriends thou"
*grinning he lets her slip to the ground and seduces her to a game of hide and seek*
-
*New entry by Barion*
*Barion walks through the Berhagen mountains whisteling a tune and grins the whole time , killing every giant he meets with a flair that is not often seen *
*Reaching the safe and quiet place he was looking for , he cleans his blade and armor and sits down to write in his journal*
I did it*grins wide* I realy did it.
I finaly found a way to trick the soulmother...she granted me extra strands because i outwitted her*grins*
Life seems to change for the better,i bought a blade that i thought i would never own *looks to his new blade*MITHRILL....
I now am looking for the enchantments to put on it so i can wield it in battle,untill then i'll simply keep using my adamantium one.
Abigail is doing great,nearly three and half years old she is now,her teachers are as proud off her as i am*smiles*
I take along some of the best friends of Sa'kura to see her once every two weeks,Dalan and Eghaas,she realy loves it when they start telling her stories about her mother.
I have been playing with the thought of taking Tegan alng to meet Abigail too*sighs softly* but in a way i get the feeling she is avoiding me...
Strange things are happening in my live ...Serissa ...people still cant undertand that with reporting me and the others she did what she had to do.
Quantum...it looks like he is getting friendly with people i dispice and rather see dead,guess i wont be traveling with him any longer if he goes out with them .
The seeds...i went to find one ...we did found it ...imediatly it had to be given to the druid that was there ,since my tempel no longer talks about the seeds i will refrain from going on trips to obtain them .
Asfar as i am concerned , until word from the tempel comes they can use the seeds to bake bread.
Soon there will be initiaton rounds for The Knights of the Wyrm.
I offered myself and i hope i can live up to the standarts they hold high,if not *sighs*
We'll see then...if i'm not good enough to be a knight...is there still a reason to listen to the church?
*He ponders his last question long and hard staring to his journal,after a while he closes it and puts it away*
"Time to go see Abigail and tell her the good news"*with those words he walks off ,questions in his mind about his faith*
-
*Barion comes to small village and seems like he has been running all the way, he takes out his journal and tears out the last pages left ...all but one ...*
*He takes his quill and pens down*
To complete this journal , one final statement :
I HAVE REMOVED MYSELF FROM THE POPULATION OFF THIS WORLD ONLY TO COME AND DO MY JOB FOR THE GUILD AND TO SHOW UP IF MY SKILLS ARE NEEDED TO HELP OTHERS
*He looks over the line and sadly smiles to himself*
"I will be here and care for you my daughter ...you will have the daddy you deserve"
//for those interested in the continuation of his life:
B.F. A mans thoughts