The World of Layonara

The Layonara Community => Poetic License => Topic started by: NEXUS7 on November 15, 2005, 03:43:00 PM

Title: Dream
Post by: NEXUS7 on November 15, 2005, 03:43:00 PM

Dream

Last night you came to me again
In sweet shadows your feet did walk,
I no longer feel sharp that pain
As you and I in sleep did talk.

I said to you those words of old
Lost for ever in the frost of time,
But I forget your hart is cold
That you jailed me for my crime.

In to shadowed darkness I was thrown
Never again to hold or kiss you face,
You hold me still even in dreams to atone
For my life long disgrace.

1996

Title: RE: Dream
Post by: miltonyorkcastle on November 16, 2005, 09:18:00 AM

I feel ya.  I feel ya.

Title: RE: Dream
Post by: OneST8 on November 17, 2005, 10:14:00 AM

Wonderful imagery, excellent pace and has a good (unforced) flow.

Well done.

Title: RE: Dream
Post by: Niles09 on November 18, 2005, 05:22:00 AM

whoa! good work!

Title: RE: Dream
Post by: DarkMerc_1017 on December 09, 2005, 07:25:00 AM

great work






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IN TIME THE STUDENT BECOMES THE MASTER

Title: RE: Dream
Post by: Ne'er on December 11, 2005, 09:06:00 AM

I gotta say, its nice.