The World of Layonara

The Layonara Community => General Discussion => Topic started by: Stranzini on February 15, 2006, 05:00:07 AM

Title: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: Stranzini on February 15, 2006, 05:00:07 AM
Sen Stranzini has left a neatly written note with the pawn shop owner in Fort velensk

"To whomever is the owner of the animals here, I'm very sorry.

I was feeding your chickens to get some eggs - they're very hungry by the way, I think you should feed them more often - and when I didn't have any more corn left they all thronged around me and I couldn't get away at all. They wouldn't let me move away in any direction, I tried and tried to get away.

So - I taunted them, just a few choice words about their chickenhood. I didn't know they speak common, I guess, I really didn't expect what happened then. They became very angry and attacked me and your cow came running and attacked me as well. I ran away - ask Mr Pawn Shop man, he saw the whole thing - but they came after me, even out the city gate, pecking and goring and goring and pecking and well, I can't run faster than your chickens and cows so I really had no choice but to kill them all.

I killed them all. I left the meat with mr Pawn Shop man, I hope you can at least get the use of that. I'm very sorry about what happened, I  just didn't know they would do that!

I will make restitution to you if you seek me out in Hlint. And when you get new ones, I promise I won't taunt them any more. In fact, I'm not sure I'll feed them anymore so maybe you better look into that next time."

//ooc - so there are no more chickens and one less cow at Fort Velensk - GM do they respawn automatically at next reset or do you need to take care of something?
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: miltonyorkcastle on February 15, 2006, 06:14:38 AM
////  *snickers, then busts into a full laugh*
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: Rasterick on February 15, 2006, 07:10:23 AM
'Sen the Chicken Killer', that will be a hard name to shake off.
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: KageKeeper on February 15, 2006, 07:20:23 AM
//*lfalls out of chair laughing*
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: Leanthar on February 15, 2006, 08:20:51 AM
//Thanks for letting us know! Good job.

They will come back on the next server reboot.
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: freemen2 on February 15, 2006, 08:57:38 AM
//ROFL :D
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: jjkolb on February 15, 2006, 09:06:18 AM
//*laughs--a lot.* Oh, the imagery this conjures!
  I never knew cows were so loyal to chickens.
Title: RE: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: Niles09 on February 15, 2006, 09:08:56 AM
heh heh once another player asked me to move them with animal Empathy cause he would have the corn, I didnt have the skill though, so I tried to see what taunt did....
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: ThrainSil on February 15, 2006, 09:28:46 AM
LoL. I got surrounded once by the evil chcickens of Fort Velensk.  I think I logged out then back in and was moved or started a fire.
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: Crunch on February 15, 2006, 09:48:25 AM
Can't say they didn't have it coming.  I think everyone who has ever fed the chickens has harbored certain longings for roast chicken.  It's the clucking I think....

Esi
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: Nyralotep on February 15, 2006, 09:54:02 AM
//rotfl.....a good post to wake up to.
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: NEXUS7 on February 15, 2006, 10:09:56 AM
very very funny I wish so much i could have been there to see
"When CHIKENS GO BAD"
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: xXDenizeNXx on February 15, 2006, 01:47:15 PM
// RofL if it wasn't funny enough about the chickens but the valiant Cows rushing to there rescue has me laughing my butt off!
My Q is to big L,  Is this noble deed enough to shift the Cows alignment from nuetral to NG?
RofL :) :) :)
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: DarkMerc_1017 on February 15, 2006, 02:51:18 PM
//LOL thats realy funny
----
IN TIME THE STUDENT BECOMES THE MASTER
"a hero is no braver then an ordinary man he is just brave 5 minutes longer"
"courage is fear holding on a minute longer"
"he who fears being conqured is sure of defeat"
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: FlameStrike on February 15, 2006, 03:49:28 PM
// LOL now people will fear the berserker chickens at Fort Velensk.
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: Vilanos on February 16, 2006, 12:28:05 AM
//LOL...... Chickens lurking to ambush adventurers to take their gold and become a force to be reckoned with in Fort Velensk. They have made a pagt with the cows ...so beware.
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: Pen N Popper on May 03, 2007, 10:15:39 AM
((OOC
An epic tale worthy of note in the lore of the land.
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: lonnarin on May 03, 2007, 11:56:41 AM
*posts a note below his*

This has happened to me as well!  While it should be rare that such creatures have turned to violence, it's been happening all too often in these lands.  I suspect that they are either being trained for violence in some sort of illegal cockfighting ring, or perhaps that a misguided follower of the Dark Treefather is bidding them to revolt.  There was also the instance many years ago of the elven ranger who led the livestock to march upon the courthous of Hlint in protest, trying to gain equal rights as humanoids under the law; though that was a peaceful protest.  None of the above would suprise me.  The important thing is that ye are safe and that even though this was clearly an act of elf-defense, that you came forward and informed the farmer so that he would not blame an innocent bystander needlessly.  Many thanks for your courage.

-Farros Galdor
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: LynnJuniper on May 03, 2007, 12:04:44 PM
//This is almost as bad as the time I accidentally killed the town crier out of annoyance.
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: Faldred on May 03, 2007, 12:39:38 PM
:D

Oh... I needed that today!!!

And yes, I've felt like going on a feathery rampage once or twice myself, when surrounded by the little beggars.  Just never had the nerve to make chicken fricassee.
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: bmkbobcat on May 03, 2007, 03:13:50 PM
//wakes up from a nap
  grabs a bowl of cereal
  sits down to read the daily forums
  chortles and promptly spews a mouthful of milk all over her monitor
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: Hotaru on May 03, 2007, 03:19:13 PM
// i knew chickens where evil! with their little eyes and their constant clucking... those aren't eggs those are grenades of unfathomable evil! :o   ....sorry... i had a bit of sugar this morning....
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: Honora on May 03, 2007, 04:00:09 PM
Beware. Old McDonald is probably breeding a newer, sturdier chicken that can lure you in with the promise of eggs and peck you into a fly-blown corpse in under 2 minutes as we type.  The Mark II Bessie with sharpened hooves and acid-spewing udders is already a prototype, I'd bet.

Revenge will be his, oh yes.  EE-EI-EE-EI-DOOM!
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: Force_of_Will_ on May 04, 2007, 04:20:54 AM
Cows With Guns
                        by Dana Lyons
                     by Dana Lyons, copyright 1996
                        
                        Intro
                                                                             ------
                                                                             Am G Am
                        
                        AmFat and docile, big and dumb
                                                                             They look so stupid, they aren't much fun
                        GCows aren't Amfun
                        
                        
                                                                             They eat to grow, grow to die
                                                                             Die to be et at the hamburger fry
                                                                             Cows well done
                        
                                                                             Nobody thunk it, nobody knew
                                                                             No one imagined the great cow guru
                                                                             Cows are one
                        
                                                                             He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal
                                                                             He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal
                                                                             Cow Tse Tongue
                        
                                                                             He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred
                                                                             He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd
                                                                             Cow doldrums
                        
                                                                             He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die
                                                                             Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high
                                                                             Bad cow pun
                        
                                                                             But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate
                                                                             Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate
                                                                             Cows are bummed
                        
                                                                             He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy
                                                                             No one suspected he was packing an Uzi
                                                                             Cows with guns
                        
                                                                             They came with a needle to stick in his thigh
                                                                             He kicked for the groin, he ed in their eye
                                                                             Cow well hung
                        
                                                                             Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door
                                                                             Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor
                                                                             Run cows run!
                        
                                                                             He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay
                                                                             We are free roving bovines, we run free today
                        
                        We will Ffight for bovine Cfreedom
                        And Ehold our large heads Amhigh
                        We will Frun free with the CBuffalo, or Edie
                                                                             Cows with [Am]guns
                        
                                                                             They crashed the gate in a great stampede
                                                                             Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed
                                                                             Cows have fun
                        
                                                                             Sixty police cars were piled in a heap
                                                                             Covered in cow pies, covered up deep
                                                                             Much cow dung
                        
                                                                             Black smoke rising, darkening the day
                                                                             Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way
                        
                                                                             We will fight for bovine freedom
                                                                             And hold our large heads high
                                                                             We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
                                                                             Cows with guns
                        
                                                                             The President said "enough is enough
                        
                                                                             These uppity cattle, its time to get tough"
                                                                             Cow dung flung
                        
                                                                             The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief
                                                                             Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef
                                                                             Cows on buns
                        
                                                                             The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed
                                                                             They mooed their last moos,
                                                                             they chewed their last hay
                                                                             Cows out gunned
                        
                                                                             The order was given to turn cows to whoppers
                                                                             Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers
                                                                             But on the horizon surrounding the shoppers
                        
                                                                             Came the deafening roar of chickens in choppers
                        
                                                                             We will fight for bovine freedom
                                                                             And hold our large heads high
                                                                             We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
                                                                             Cows with guns
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: pinkpowerbait on May 05, 2007, 11:01:45 AM
//cora had the same problem with the chickens in fort wayfare.. nothing more humiliating than bleeding to death at the hands, er , beaks of some chickens. :)
Title: Re: barnyard massacre at Fort Velensk - a confession
Post by: hawklen on May 05, 2007, 07:47:43 PM
http://www.layonara.com/photopost/showphoto.php?photo=107490

Chickens are evil! Its why Nepp permed *he nods sagely*
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