The World of Layonara

Character Development => Development Journals and Discussion => Topic started by: Nehetsrev on April 19, 2006, 08:43:24 AM

Title: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on April 19, 2006, 08:43:24 AM: (OOC - With this thread I will seek to post some of Treana's experiences, thoughts, and memories as she herself might write them. This 'journal' as it may be thought of may be far from complete as far as all the details of her adventures go, but hopefully it should shed some light on her past and present to a degree that makes her seem almost real.)
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Entry 1 - Febra 12, 1399 - Introduction

I write this journal to chronicle my activities and reflect on my life in this world we live in. To begin I feel it is important enough to document these things, however small they may seem, simply because like many others I have been called forth by an old Dragon who thinks I have some potential within me that will lead me to become a great hero, or at least help in the conflict against Blood. Though I myself do not yet see what the Dragon has seen in me, I have been told by others whom I have grown to trust that the scaly one is never wrong about those it chooses. I pray then to Toran that he help me order my steps in this great journey to reach the destiny that awaits me.

I suppose it only fitting that though it brings forth great pain in my heart I also begin with explaining where I have come from before arriving here in Hlint. My life, as the lives of many here it seems, has not been what you might think of as a happy one, though it may have been so if my destiny were not what it is. I was raised in a farming community on the edges of the frontiers. While we lived a hard life, it was also for the most part a rewarding one. Our village, or town as I often refer to it, was constantly enduring of raids from both orcs and goblins. Usually the raiding parties were small enough that they could be turned away with the minimum of loss of life, livestock, or produce. The village walls aided greatly to protect us as well, until that fateful night just more than three years ago at the time of this writing. I will get more into the details of that night a little later in this entry, but wish to explain other details before I do.

My family, as most farming families do, was a fairly large one in comparison to those of most city folk. I was the third child of seven, having two older brothers, two younger ones, and two younger sisters as well. Living with us and our parents in our home was also my grandfather, the father of my own father. Our family name, E'Zoenna, means 'True Peace' in the old tongue, or at least that is what Grandpa told us. My full name, he said, means 'Heart of True Peace'. Peace is something I feel is far from my heart today though, but I digress. Let it be written here that while we as a family had our occasional petty squabbles, we all truly loved one another and worked hard together to help our farm prosper.

My betrothed, who I was to marry come the spring was Erathim Sata Min'A'Norda (or Working Brother of the North in the old tongue). Erathim, who was my reason for living then, and who remains now entombed in the memories of my heart. He was a hard-working man who I had grown up with playing in the cornfields, or harvesting the wheat with. His whole family, the Min'A'Norda's, were perhaps the most respected family in our small community. They had been among the first settlers in the village when it was founded and their home lay near the center of the community, and their fields were some of those closest just outside the inner walls. My own family took up residence later on in the town's history, so our home was nearer the wall and our fields further out, just inside the outer walls. Over the years our families had become very close and it was most natural that Erathim and I had grown to love each other so much as we did.

(here tears begin to stain much of the page, but it appears as though the writer took care to dry the page and re-write the words to make them once more legible.)

Yet, as stated earlier, one fateful night in the dead of winter would change the course of my life and take all whom I loved away from me. The goblins and orcs who constantly raided the community had forged together an alliance and came in numbers greater than any of us had ever seen before. So swift and organized were they that the guards of the outer wall, and even some of those of the inner wall were killed before they could raise the alarm. You could say it was fortunate that that eve I had stolen away to Erathim's home to be with him, but I have not seen it as fortunate. We woke to the sounds of shouting and fighting in the streets outside and when I flung open the window to look out over the town I was met with a horrific sight. The orcs and goblins in their attack laid flame to every structure in their path, and as I looked out the fire-light reflected from the snow-covered ground lit the town almost as brightly as the day and I saw with my own eyes my home burning like a beacon along with many others.

Erathim and I woke the rest of his family and we began to flee from his home and into the streets. Even as we rushed down from the porch at the front of his home the wave of attacking orcs and goblins poured forth silhouetted by the flame behind them and gave chase to us. We ran as fast and far as we could, all of us few who woke before the oncoming horde in time to flee. They chased us into the surrounding woods and slew as many as they could catch. Their arrows struck down some of those who ran near us one by one until, eventually we outran them, or perhaps more likely they decided to return instead to the town and gather what they could from the remains of the homes and the dead. It was during this that Erathim was grazed by an arrow himself, opening a small cut on one side of his neck.

In the morning light after ward, we few who survived the horrors of the night began to gather together at the edge of the forest to stare bereft at the remains of our village. There were perhaps twenty of us left alive at that point, but more would die. We salvaged three wagons and set ourselves to push through the snow to the nearest civilized town some forty miles away. We were all weak and without food and the going was slow. Erathim himself was one of those who fell ill and had to be lain in one of the wagon-beds. The cut from the arrow so small it should not have mattered and should have healed on it's own, instead became infected and began to fester. For those seven days I watched him as he slowly died in my arms and he finally passed only hours before we would arrive at the town we set out to.

After that, I became nothing more than numb to everything. Though the other dozen people of my village who lived through those seven days stopped to seek what aid they could in the town, I instead continued onward. I wandered the lands like a zombie, without purpose or caring or goal, and most without feeling. Until recently, when the Dragon pulled me forth with his summoning. I had at first thought it but a dream, a vain imagining of my mind to fill the emptiness that had occupied me since just over three years prior. I have discovered since that it was not, arriving in Hlint and being assaulted by the demands of needing aid just to live, and the questions of fellow adventurers that come with such aid. Each new person eventually wanting to know who I am, and where I'd come from, innocently prying up the callous that had grown over my soul to cover the memories of that horrid night and the days that followed. The pain I had run from for so long now has been unleashed upon me in full force, and I began to act foolishly to once again try to escape it and in so doing I've discovered that the Soul Mother, or some other power, is not yet willing for me to die and leave this plane forever. I have died many times these past weeks, yet each time my soul returns to a new body and has been forced to continue. And though I once sought death as an end to my pain, no longer is it so.

New hopes have arisen within me, grown in the light of new friendships made here in Hlint and in my adventures in the lands since my summoning. Some friends with stories as tragic as my own, or perhaps even more tragic in cases. Their stories are their own though, and in respect for them I will not share them here, excepting where perhaps my own life touches with theirs in a way that cannot be left out of this journal.

Their names I see no harm in mentioning though, and so I will start by naming those I feel I have become closest to. I have come to know with some familiarity Anna Lee, Addison, Rhynn and Ireth as well as Ozymandius the legendary bard, and a man called Talen. There are also a few others whom I am acquainted with, but only loosely, but perhaps with time our relations will grow deeper. I hesitate to say much more, for as I said the stories of these my friends are not mine to tell, and indeed I grow wearing from writing today. It is a new morn' and I am sure there is much in store for me to do today so I had best put down book and quill and ink, and venture forth to see what fate has in store. I will write again when I feel moved to do so.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on April 19, 2006, 11:10:29 AM: Entry 2 – Febra 14, 1399 - First Adventures

I suppose, since I set out to write this journal in order to chronicle my adventures since arriving in Hlint, I ought to actually get to some of that. So, it is with the intent of detailing some of my first encounters here that I make this entry now.

Upon arriving in Hlint I did as I often did for a few days and centered mostly upon myself. However, as the Dragon’s calling began to dawn more fully in my thoughts I decided to begin at least trying to help other in some small way, even if only in an effort to hide from my own feelings being stirred up in mourning of my loved ones. So I set myself to asking around the town to see what odd tasks I could set my sword to.

Of the sword, to be more honest, it had originally belonged to Erathim, my beloved. I have carried it with me since the day he died, and sometimes I swear I can imagine I feel him still through the blade. I have also kept with me my own short-sword, given me by my father when I was in my tenth year, though I seldom use it. Being that our town was so often raided we all were taught either the basics of handling a bow or the sword at about that age. I digress to the past again, however, so let me return now to days more close to the present.

In asking about the town I found several people in need that I could use my sword-skills to aid, a couple people whom I could help just by doing more mundane work. My first such task took me into the sewers to track down a rat-man and retrieve some documents for a local tax official. On the way I met a large person, who I assume was a half-giant. He did not speak, but he could make clear through various postures and grunting what basic things he wished to communicate. Together he and I fought the rat-man and his vermin minions and successfully returned the tax book to the lady above.

Later, I found work delivering messages and parcels to various people under the direction of the local postmaster. The local tanner also had some work for me to do, and has been requesting me to hunt down different animals and return to him their skins. Between such tasks as provided by the two, I busied myself with collecting cotton from the orc infested woods nearby and training myself in the craft of tailoring.

My next interesting adventure came from the quartermaster of the town guard. He charged me with going forth to slay several goblin scouts and return to him their ears as proof. This task I was happy to turn my attention to as it afforded in my mind a means of revenge against those who slew my family, friends, and dearest loved ones. The goblins proved to be more challenging then I had thought they would, and I died at least twice attempting to collect the ears I needed to fulfill my oath to the quartermaster.

A day or so after finishing my obligation to the quartermaster I ran in to the local undertaker, Erag. He also had an odd task for me to perform, requiring that I venture into the local crypts and fight my way past many undead including skeletons, zombies, and ghouls. In this venture I wisely sought the aid of others and we boldly and bravely fought our way to the lair of the worst of the undead in the crypt, a being called a lesser dark-soul whose essence we were charged with gathering on behalf of the undertaker. I tell you, that man is creepy in every sense of the word, but he paid us well for our trouble.

A few more days passed after that and I continued to keep myself busy learning my tailoring skills until the dwarven wagon-master who’d heard of some of my exploits hailed me to request a favor. He explained that he could not trade safely between Hlint and nearby Fort Llast because the goblins living in a cave along the route had become too dangerous in their attacks upon his wagons. Glad again to have another reason to kill more of the vile things, I agreed to bring the dwarf the head of their leader. This task also proved beyond my abilities alone and so I put it off for another time.

I also made a venture into the high moors not far off from Hlint on word that a hermit-woman there would pay well for skeleton knuckles, of which I had plenty from my recent adventures in the town crypts. I had been keeping them as trophies for I had gotten the idea in my head to do so for some unknown reason. Perhaps it came from fate or Toran guiding my steps? In any case I did not make it to the area in which the hermit-woman was said to be encamped. Instead I was bled dry by a swarm of the largest and most vicious mosquitoes I have ever seen. It was after this death that I met some of those that I now consider to be among my closest friends.

Admittedly, I was so disappointed in myself for falling to the mosquitoes that I was throwing a bit of a fit and having a wonderful pity-party for myself. Nearby those who would become my friends overheard my rather loud and obnoxious berating of myself and came to try and cheer me. Probably only so that I’d shut up and leave them to their own discussions. First to appear at my side then was the mysterious Ozymandius. He began by insulting my fashion sense after I made the comment that I was a failure. I wanted to slap him, but was too upset with myself to put the thought into action. Next to offer comfort of a sort was Anna Lee, who provided me with some rather tasty and very potent wine. Never being one who handled drink so well, it went straight to my head and I was forced to find a bed at the inn to sleep it off.

After sleeping off the effects of the wine, and being left with a killer hangover, I ventured again to the bench near the pond where I proceeded to begin anew my pity-party if I recall rightly. I’m not sure of some details of that morning as the wine had really done a number on me. Again Anna Lee and two of her friends went out of their way to repair my self-image, again I think most likely only to shut me up, but perhaps I am wrong. In any case, they showed a form of friendship to me and shared, along with Ozymandius who re-appeared, a bit of their own troubles. I determined to make their problems my concern, again only so that I might be distracted from the pain of my own life. Yes, I am, or was at the time, such a wretch as that I sadly admit.

Addison, Rhynn and I ended the day with a trip into the goblin caves in an effort to slay the leader and bring back his head as the wagon master had asked me to do. Though we slew many goblins in our delving into the caves of red light, we failed to find the leader and were eventually inclined to leave and return some other day as we felt it not likely he would come out of hiding.

After some other adventures I was traveling with my new-found friends into town when a priestess of Toran accosted them with questions about their problems. Through the course of the conversations, my own faith in Toran was tried, and being new to the faith and knowing little aside from the feelings of my own heart, I became offended by some of the rhetoric being offered by Maev, as was the name of the priestess. At least I think she was a priestess, perhaps a cleric. She was so unlike the kind paladin of Toran I had traveled with before my summoning who had introduced me to my faith in Toran. Her words were hard, and sought to blame the people of my village for it’s slaughter at the hands of the goblins and orcs. It was not something I could take, and with wounded spirit I fled behind the row of houses nearby to weep in solitude. Two men found me there and proceeded to interrupt my weeping, perhaps in effort to ease my mind, but I spurned their aid and fled again, hiding as best I could until I reached another place I thought I could be alone with my anguish.

It was then that Anna Lee passing by on the road heard my soft weeping and came to see who was crying. She had been present in a way when Maev assaulted my faith in Toran, and perhaps she indeed actively sought me out. She took me in her arms and tried to comfort me as best as she with her own problems could. Were I not such a self-centered lout at the time I may have seen more clearly the friendship within her for me, but I looked only on my own grief. She brought me to see another friend of hers, to demonstrate that I was not the only one with tragedies in my life, but I turned the situation into a shouting match and spoke with hateful words of the Dragon who’d summoned myself, and indeed many others to Hlint. In a rage I ran off and foolishly set my blade to wanton killing of the goblins in the hills just outside town, blind to everything but the hate welling up within me for my very life. Amazingly, but with great wounding to my flesh, I slew all the goblins that stood before me in those moments of rage. With the last of my strength I hobbled back into town and collapsed in the middle of the road just inside the gates.

There again, Anna Lee came to my aid, as did Ozymandius. They cast spells of healing that closed my wounds and returned at least my physical health to me. Then, they left me to wallow in my own pity, exasperated and their patience with my behavior exhausted. It was in it’s own way a wake-up call to me, and though I did not immediately let loose my resolute hold on my self-pity, it caused me to begin to reflect for the first time more honestly on my actions, and thoughts. I wanted to be comforted I realized, and so I apologized to both Anna Lee and Ozymandius for my behavior, and I made an effort to shut away my grief in order to spend time in their presence.

Days later, I continued to intrude upon the lives of Anna Lee, Addison, and Rhynn. Still my focus in spending time with them was to use their problems to forget about my own for a while. Indeed I was feeling within that my selfishness had no limits and no ends, though I denied it as strongly as could be denied. It was on a trip to go hunting with Rhynn that she introduced me to Talen, a rugged man of the out-doors with a generous heart. We three ventured into the Sielwood, but Rhynn lost her desire to hunt and left us there. Thankfully, at about the same time a man named Master Jin Lun Lee appeared from deeper within the wood and offered to aid Talen and I in our hunting if we would help him with his. He wished to collect some silk and Talen & I were there to hunt for boar and search for a cave the local bard a the inn had said she lost her necklace in. Master Lee knew the location of the cave, so we all went in to search for the necklace. We found inside many creatures that confronted our penetration into it’s darkness. Among them were bugbears, and a few huge gelatinous cubes. After slaying many of the creatures we searched the carnage and I found the lost necklace, though we were all fairly exhausted, so we decided to put off the boar hunting for another day. On our way out of the forest, as we had given our word, Talen and I helped Master Lee gather his silk by fighting off the fierce and poisonous spiders which both spun it and guarded it.

Satisfied with our aid Master Lee proceeded to offer both Talen and I a special deal. He would enchant the weapon of our choice for each of us if we would each bring him five boxes full of skeleton knuckles. It was a deal that neither Talen nor I could easily refuse, so we went with fervor into the crypts of Hlint and gathered the knuckles as quickly as we could. When we were finished we sent word to Master Lee and he and a friend of his relieved us of our burdens of boxes. Master Lee, true to his word, fulfilled his end of the bargain and enchanted one weapon for each of us. I chose to have Erathim’s long-sword enchanted and now it sparks with the magical energy of lightning and adds shocking damage to the blows that fall upon my foes.

In the days that have followed, I have adventured more with Talen, our journeys taking us to Fort Himlad far away on another continent even. There we fought a huge griffon together and returned evidence of a cows fate to the farmer whom it had belonged. Sadly, Talen fell during the fight with the griffon, and I myself nearly perished. Were it not for a lucky strike that took down the beast, I’d have no doubt been torn asunder and my soul returned to Hlint as Talen’s had been, to reform in a new body. A bit afraid, I determined to make my way back to Hlint on my own. Though it looked doubtful I’d succeed at some points, I managed to make the journey in one piece, passing Talen and another of his friends going the opposite way as I did.

Back in Hlint I decided to make another venture into the high moors. Finally I delivered a good portion of skeleton knuckles to the hermit there and she gave to me a necklace made of the knuckles which she said would help protect me from the undead. Creepy as it may look, the necklace does indeed appear to help some. I then returned the other way past Hlint to Fort Llast and took up a few quests there while delivering another letter for the postmaster. The first of the tasks only required the procurement of some weapons for the Fort Llast militia, which I felt proud to do though it cost me some of my own hard earned gold. The lieutenant was so happy for my help though that he gave to me an enchanted helm. The second quest was given by a mage, and he requested I return to the high moors to retrieve for him the essence of a will-o-the-wisp. It was not a task I would have opted to perform normally, but I felt with the new enchantment on my blade I might stand a chance of tackling one of the glowing things and completing the quest. Alas, I fell in the swamp again in my searching for one of the elusive beings, this time at the hands of a lizardman heavy artillery specialist.

Spending some time in Hlint to reflect once more upon my death I ran into Rhynn, Anna Lee, and Ireth on the large rock behind the Wild Surge Inn. It came to pass that they learned of some dire news which perhaps I will outline in my next entry, but for now I am weary from writing again.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on April 20, 2006, 09:22:57 AM: Entry 3 – Febra 28, 1399 - Adventures Continue

To pick up where I left off, my friends had just received some bad news about another of my friends. While it is perhaps not my business to reveal the specifics of their problems here in this journal, I will write out some basics from my own perspective and understanding as their problems had become in a part of my own life, and by my choice affected the course of my own actions.

Suffice it to say that someone very dear to Ireth was kidnapped and being held. The friends knew by whom, or thought they did, but feared to confront said person lest it cost Ireth’s dear one her life or worse. Addison, however, had her own ideas and had announced she planned to directly assault the lair of the supposed kidnapper, at least this is how I understood things to be at the time. The friends were torn, they wished to save the dear one of Ireth, but they also did not wish to bring harm to Addison as she was a friends as well, and an important part of their lives in other ways. Indeed, the stakes were higher than a single life, or even a pair of lives, but I dare not go into too much more detail than that.

Suffice it to say that we formed a party to try to stop Addison from reaching a point of no return and causing damage that could not be undone. Let us also say that we were prepared to prevent her from reaching her destination by any means possible, for as I said the stakes were far greater than any one life. So together myself, Anna Lee, Ireth, Rhynn, and Ireth’s brother set out and traveled across the world to try to head Addison off.

Without going into too much detail, we eventually came to a point where we could go forward no further, and I even died once along the way. In fact several of us died. I believe Anna Lee was perhaps the only one of us who retreated safely from the initial onslaught of the foes that blocked our path. Thank Toran and perhaps the other gods as well for Bindstones! It was risky, but we set out to our graves to recover more quickly from our recent deaths, for we felt time was of the essence.

Arriving at our graves, we found ourselves cut off from retreat by another group of foes that had moved in behind us to block our path. Eventually, with invisibility enchantments worn off and no end to the waiting in sight, we made the choice to fight our way back. More of us died for a second time, though miraculously I managed to avoid the fate again myself. So, Anna Lee, Ireth and I made our way back at last to return to the Bindstone at which our fallen friends awaited us.

It was decided that to press on was not advisable, so we split into two parties. Anna Lee and I waited there for we believed Addison would also have to pass that way to get where she was going. The others went back to seek additional help, in case it came that we would have to brave the route ahead once more.

For several days Anna Lee and I waited for Addison, or the return of the others. It seemed to rain almost constantly there, but we could not afford to let that distract our watchful eyes. In the time of those days we talked of many things and I learned a little more about my new friend than I had known before. At one point the mysterious and friendly Ozymandius made an appearance. He too sought to find Addison and prevent her from causing the trouble she’d set out to cause. While his appearance there was brief, it was a welcome break to the waiting. Eventually Anna Lee decided that Addison was most likely not coming or that we had already been to late to stop her, and that we ought to head back to Hlint. So we set out together the two of us.

We traveled several ship routes on our way, but Anna Lee was not sure she knew the way back. Indeed at one point we got lost. In our search for the right path to take we stumbled upon a place called Elemental Balance. It appeared to be a huge temple or monument of some sort on a hill high above a lake which it over-looked. It was beautiful, and perhaps some day I will seek it out again.

It was not long afterward that we met another friend. Mith joined with us and agreed to return us to familiar lands. However, something appeared to be bothering him, and there was tension of sorts between himself and Anna Lee. I would find out later a little bit more about that, but I dare not say more on the subject here. In any case, we eventually came out of the forests into Fort Himlad to my joy. Though the first time I’d been to the fort I had been disappointed in it’s lack of accommodations, this time my heart leapt and did a dance at the sight of it, for it meant we were nearly home, and also back to lands familiar to me.

We walked then to Point Harbour, and from there sailed onward. Though instead of sailing to Fort Levensk as I was familiar with we took another route. Sadly, because we rushed so quickly and because my familiarity with geography was so poor, I forget what town we stopped at next. But there on the docks, Mith decided to finally speak to Anna Lee in private about the things that had been so obviously bothering him. It seemed that for hours I waited for the two to come forth from the shroud of misty darkness so that we could at last finish our journey to Hlint.

Eventually Anna Lee came forth alone and it seemed Mith would not be coming with us further. So we two began to set off once more, this time Anna Lee sure of the short route that would lead us home, while I was still unfamiliar with this particular place. As we began to walk away, however, Mith came running out of the darkness and stopped Anna Lee in a manner of what seemed to be desperate pleading. I was tired, and out of sorts for being so lost, and I just wanted to return to Hlint to be back in a place I knew well. I became upset with the two and their personal affairs and left them foolishly, departing into the woods along the only road I saw out of the town.

On the road alone, in the dark of night I came to a fork. I didn’t know which route to take, so to begin I set off down the left path. When I saw the road had begun to look overgrown from lack of use and upkeep I decided I’d chosen the wrong direction and so turned about and went back to the fork in the road. This time I chose the other path with a bit of uncertainty, thinking perhaps it was unwise to go on without Mith and Anna Lee as my senses finally began to overcome my foolish pride. But, press on I did and to my delight I arrived at Castle Blackford. From there I was confident of finding my way back to Hlint for I knew just down the road was Fort Llast, and down the road from it would be the comforting beds of the Wild Surge Inn in Hlint itself.

Upon arriving in Hlint and re-binding my soul to the Bindstone there, I found however that I could not sleep. I shamefully admitted to myself that I should not have left my friends and realized they might be by now very concerned about where I had run off to without knowing my way. So I climbed the tower of Hlint and watched the west gate for their arrival for some time. Eventually Ozymandius appeared, and at first I hid from him in my shame for leaving Anna Lee and Mith. However, courage won out in my heart and I approached him upon the tower, both for the need to do what was right, and to have some companionship from a friend to ease my troubled mind. After talking for some time, my need for sleep eventually caught hold of me fiercely and I bid Ozymandius a good night and asked him to watch for Anna Lee and Mith on my behalf.

Several days passed from then, and now we draw much closer to the present for these next events took place only yester-eve.

Awaking at the Wild Surge Inn as I have become accustomed to I ventured forth to see what adventures the new day would bring my way. I turned off the road and toward the pond to see my friends Anna Lee and Mith seated on the bench at the near end of the pond. We talked for a short time and I was relieved to hear that Addison had been found and that she had vowed not to try confronting Koralwyn, the kidnapper of Ireth’s daughter Aranna, again on her own. However, it was not long after that that Addison appeared and began ranting as though she would break that vow. Mith was rather ingenious and provided Addison with some other challenges to occupy her time, though this seemed to distress Anna Lee to some degree.

Eventually I set off with Rhynn who had also shown up. She was excited, even giddy at having realized that she had found her homeland and she wanted to celebrate in her manner by taking a swim. However, she didn’t apparently have bathing garments on hand so we went to east Hlint where she resolved to tailor herself a set. Seeing her working on her new outfit got me in the mood to do some tailoring work of my own, but it meant I had to leave her to make a trip to the bank and then to purchase some base garments from which I could create some new attire for myself. When I returned to the crafting house, Rhynn was already gone, but I decided to work on my clothes anyway.

I had not worked for too long when I received word that Rhynn and some others would be heading to the Great Library and that I might come along if I liked. I immediately dropped what I was doing and left to follow after them to Castle Blackford and via a magic teleportation point onward to the Great Library. Those things always make me so dizzy.

Once at the Great Library we all searched for clues that might help us find an end to the problems that plague my friends and which also could spell disaster for the rest of the world. Specifically we looked for books concerning magical binding such as that we thought used by Koralwyn. We also conversed and threw out ideas with each other to try to decipher the vague clues that might unravel for us the means to end the whole problem. I felt we made some progress, but eventually it was decided to head outside for some fresh air and a break.

Among the last two to exit the Great Library, we found outside the Heirophant Rhizome speaking with Anna Lee and the rest. He was most helpful and revealed to us information that seemed to make things much more clear for at least Anna Lee, though I myself remain perplexed by much of the situation. I suppose it is because I have come in to contact somewhat later, and do not have the full details that the others do.

This now brings my journal up to date, so I feel at ease in resting from my writings once more for a time. I will see what adventures today brings forth, and perhaps write again in this book on the new morn.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on April 21, 2006, 10:57:39 PM: Entry 4 – Mar 28, 1399 - Cloaked Figure in Hlint

It seems the general insanity of events in Hlint has no end. After waking I spent some time designing a couple new outfits to wear for things less rigorous than adventuring outdoors. One outfit I made for just generally lounging around the town, and another I made was a beautiful formal gown. Anyway, back to the point, as I was walking through town just outside the Wild Surge Inn, a darkly-shrouded, cloaked figure appeared in the streets.

Rhynn, who was also nearby immediately rushed up to challenge the being, and we could all sense it’s darkness and evil nature. It demanded to see a priest, we’re not entirely sure which priest it wanted, but Rhynn declined to help it since it was not exactly being civil itself. This apparently annoyed it and it stared her down with a gaze that had such malevolence as to send Rhynn to the ground in a fit. I wasn’t thinking too brightly, being upset that it had done what it had to a close friend and I mouthed off to it some myself. When it gazed upon me dark feelings began to rise within me and I decided it prudent to back off, lest I meet the fate that Rhynn had. Concern for my friend brought me out of what bewitched state of mind I had been in and I knelt to try helping her then.

Several others had also gathered around at the appearance of the thing, and they continued to question it. At last the cloaked figure said it was looking for Ozymandius, and that it and others wanted a certain orb which I assume they believed in his possession. It said the liches were watching. Then it disappeared in the same manner in which it had arrived. Rhynn recovered not long after and resolved to wait for Ozymandius to show so she could deliver the message.

Hours passed and Ozymandius never came to Hlint as was normal for him to do most nights. I grew concerned for him, hoping the liches, or their dark servants wouldn’t find him before he could be warned to prepare himself. In the end Rhynn sent a message to him with a falcon.

In the mean time I met several new friends, including Angela Swan, the Rider of Insanity. Her bond with it had definitely twisted her mind, though from our meeting she seemed harmless enough, and even polite in an odd way. I also met Aryx, a strange being who appeared to have a human torso and the hindquarters of a lion. He and I went down into the crypts together, and later a lady calling herself Kae joined us for a time. I collected many skeleton knuckles in the hopes that the next time I would meet Master Jin Lun Lee he would enchant my short-sword as he had my long sword. Eventually the three of us parted ways though and I ventured into the crypts alone for some time before I grew tired of it.

So, after adventuring in the crypts for most of the day, and with evening upon the town of Hlint, I returned to the Wild Surge Inn to wash and change clothes. I wanted to unwind a bit from the constant slaying of skeletons I had pushed myself through. Donning my new purple, fuchsia, and yellow outfit I made for general lounging about, I stepped out into the evening air. Seeing Rhynn and Freldo up on the tower reminded me of Ozymandius and the black figure. With that in mind I found I could not shake the tension on my nerves. I asked Freldo to perform a song, which was rather rudely drown out by the squalling of another would-be bard new to Hlint. My restlessness did not ease, so I decided perhaps a walk around the pond might sooth me. It didn’t, and I ended sitting on the bench on the end of the pond nearest the Wild Surge Inn, whiling away the time by tossing pebbles into the otherwise still waters to watch the ripples they’d make. I must have dozed off at some point, for when I woke it was morning, but I was still on edge and decided to keep sitting there tossing my pebbles into the pond.

It was about then that a rather charming man of half-elven heritage approached me there. After our initial introductions and my realization that he was one who’d been with us at the Great Library only some nights ago, we talked for quite some time. To be more honest rather, I seemed to do most of the talking and he listened very well. The conversation ranged through many things inevitably including the deep loss in my past in its course. It was a pleasure to be in his presence, and perhaps that is why I talked so long-windedly.

Eventually evening came again and we decided to go hunting the essence of a will-o-the-wisp together in the high moors. A man over in Fort Llast had commissioned my aid in procuring the essence, and so gave reason for the hunt. Never before had I seen, or slain, so many of the lizard-folk as that night. They seemed drawn to the will-o-the-wisp and even as though they fought to protect it. It was not a pleasurable thing to do to slaughter so many, despite my earlier death at the hands of one of their artillerists at an earlier date. Were it not for Ifion’s magic’s to protect me and aid me, I would have most assuredly fallen before them instead. In the end we emerged from the high moors with our prize, and proceeded on to Fort Llast.

There, to my pleasure, we met Master Jin Lun Lee after delivering the essence. I told him of the skeleton knuckles I had already collected and asked if he would enchant my second blade for me once I had finished collecting the final two boxes to complete the set of five. He agreed, and to lighten my load he offered to take the boxes I already had if I would accompany him to his home to drop them off there. At about that time, Anna Lee also approached us as she had business with Master Lee as well. Ifion had other things to do and so left the party, but Anna Lee, Jin Lun, and I went to his home to deliver the three full boxes of knuckles there. Upon arriving Master Lee discovered his stores already full to capacity, and so he asked us to come with him to the temple where he could immediately use the knuckles to make the healing potions from them that he intended. The hour was growing far late, but I decided to go ahead, since the man had been rather generous in our past dealings.

After he was finished with making the potions he tried to talk us both into accompanying himself and two others on a gold-mining expedition. At which point Anna Lee seemed to begin having issues brought on by her special condition. I tried to explain then that it may not be safe with Anna in her condition to go on such an expedition. Master Lee seemed determined to have our company as he was not familiar with the special nature and symptoms Anna’s condition and he persisted in his assertion that we should come. Finally, too tired to argue or explain further, and rather frustrated with the man even as kind as he seemed, I made excuse to leave for myself hoping Anna might follow my lead for her own good. I am again saddened to say I left her in such a position, perhaps I am not the good friend to her that I try to convince myself I am. Fortunately, as I made way to the docks to set sail home, I passed Talen who appeared to be headed to meet up with Master Lee and Anna and the rest. Seeing him there helped me to feel she would be kept well enough out of trouble, as I know he is a capable man.

At long last after all these events I returned ‘home’ to the Wild Surge Inn in Hlint and paid for my usual room. Entering there then, and as soon as my head touched pillow, I slept soundly until this morn. Waking refreshed and inspired to write again, I have now done so, and these are the events of the last few days from my eyes. May this new day and those after hold brighter tidings than seem to be the usual goings on as of lately.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on April 22, 2006, 07:36:01 AM: Entry 5 - Apreal 3, 1399 - A few more days...

Well, as time would have it's wandering passage unfurled, yet a few more days have spun out for me. As seems to be happening rather too frequently for my liking I managed to get myself killed twice within these last few days. I'll go into the specifics a little later in this entry, for death was not the only thing among my experiences.

The first of these days started much as usual and I rose from my bed at the Wild Surge Inn to venture into the crypts and slay enough skeletons to fill the remainder of space within the two boxes I had promised to Master Jin Lun Lee. Then I wandered about town rather idle for a short time, although I did craft a fine phenalope from a phenalope crystal cluster I had found. I even saved the dust from the parts that I flawed in my efforts to cut additional gems. Eventually I ran into Ozymandius and he told me he was going to Lelion Arms Inn in Lelion to listen to, and perhaps participate some in the telling of an epic story. I felt I could use some entertainment and so I accompanied him along with a lady by the name of Syclia.

We were at the inn for some time and I had changed into my formal gown for the occasion when everything seemed to black out as sometimes happens in our world. Upon awakening I found myself back in the Wild Surge Inn in Hlint. Not wishing to miss the storytelling I rushed back to Lelion still dressed in my gown and unfortunately it rained along the way while I was passing near Castle Blackford and the gown was ruined. Soaked to the bone and frustrated I arrived at last again at the Lelion Arms Inn and changed into my casual outfit since it had stayed more or less dry in my pack. Again after the story started the world went black and I awoke once more in Hlint. These shifts in reality or whatever they are were getting frustrating, twice in one night! I set out again and made it back in time to get a good seat at the event. This third time round the storytelling went off more or less without a hitch, unless you count the interruptions of personal tensions that arose form some of the people who were involved with the events of the story. It was, I assume, a true story and in centered around the efforts of a group of heroes to locate and destroy the phylactery of a lich who is one of Blood's generals. Alas, the phylactery was not destroyed, but instead captured by Black Mages in the end, though it appeared all hope was not lost entirely.

After the storytelling I was pleased to see Master Lee among the crowd so that I could finish my business with him. After telling him I had the remaining two boxes he stated we would have to go gather some of the ingredients for the enchantment yet. So we ventured to a cave near Fort Velensk that was full of ogres, but within which the topaz we needed could be found. We fought our way in far enough that Master Lee could mine the valuable mineral, but then his protective wards wore off just as another huge wave of ogres rushed upon us. As you might guess, this was where I met the first of my two demises during these last days of my adventuring. Suffice it say after awakening in a new body at the Bind stone in Hlint, I resolved to wait there in hopes Master Lee would return and finish our business, which he did in time.

Recovered at last from that bout with death, and somewhat eager to try my newly enchanted short sword along side my long sword, I ventured into east Hlint on my way to the high moors. Whereupon, I met Rhynn on my way and she gladly joined me. She related how she'd been to see her homeland once more along with Freldo her close friend. She told me her parents still wouldn't acknowledge her, but that some of her siblings did. As we discussed the trip she had made we arrived in the moors and set our mind then to slaying lizard-folk. Alas, it was almost we who were slain and we were forced to retreat under cover of Rhynn's invisibility spells.

We returned to Hlint and found two others who joined us then. We returned then after resting and slew quite easily with our friends by our sides those lizard folk who had nearly slain us. Overconfident in our victory there, we pushed further into the moors looking for more lizard folk to slay, and find them we did. These were not the regulars of the lizard folk forces however, they were the largest, most well-trained of their warriors and they took us by surprise with their ferocity. Truth be told only one of our number made it out of the moors alive in that encounter and as you've guessed by now, this was how I met my second demise of this period for this entry. Fortunately, in neither instance did I meet the Soul Mother, who has recently returned from her vacation. I do not know whether Rhynn did or not, but I hope she didn't. Talen said he was fortunate as I and didn't meet the Soul Mother either.

After the second death I rested until waking moments ago to write this entry. I hope these next days I do not die again. It is such a painful thing to endure, and with the Soul Mother back, the risk grows that the next time may bring me closer to the last.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on April 23, 2006, 11:25:01 AM: Entry 6 - Apreal 18, 1399

Once again, these last few days have proven to be full of adventures of different sorts. Everything began quiet enough in Hlint and I was able to finish fashioning the dresses that Rhynn had asked me to make for her. Later that day I met with her near in one of the stores of east Hlint and gave her the new clothes. She showed off a dress of her own that she'd fashioned that also looked quite nice and we sort of had our own little fashion show there.

Afterward we began to set out to find the other riders. Rhynn seemed to have the impression that time was growing very short now, and stopping Koralwyn would need to be done very soon. About that time we ran into Addison and another friend (I think his name was Kyle, but my memory may not be serving me rightly). We talked with them about finding the other riders and hopefully at last getting them all assembled, but Addison grew restless and needed to indulge her need for action. So, together the four of us walked to the arena in Fort Velensk to practice fighting with each other. I must admit that though I sense my own skill with the sword has grown over recent days, I spent more time on my back than standing to fight. Addison proved to be the most challenging of all, defeating everything that the rest of us could bring upon her, except perhaps one or two of Rhynn's spells.

After the practice session I needed a great deal of rest, and the others apparently departed while I slept. When at last I woke from my slumber I found myself alone, and wishing to return to Hlint. Despite the danger on the roads between Fort Velensk and there I determined to set out by myself, however Toran had seen fit to guide others to Fort Velensk to aid my return. I met there with Dervish, a man with an eye-patch I had met before, and two others who accompanied him. We all worked together and made our way back to Fort Llast together, at which point we parted ways and I followed the road safely back to Hlint.

In Hlint I met again with Rhynn, Mith and Ireth. Rhynn explained with woe how the dresses I'd made for her had suffered destruction in an unfortunate event, but she provided me with the materials to fashion anew another pair of clothes for her. When I finished with that and returned to give her the new clothes, Rhynn had some gifts of value for me as well. She gave unto me two enchanted rings and an enchanted amulet, telling me they had been given to her by another with the condition that they be passed on to someone else who could use them when she could obtain better for herself. She mad the same request of me, and I agreed to it, though I must admit they will be hard to part with for their sentimental value. I had never really expected to hit off so well with Rhynn the first time we met, and yet it would seem we two have become great friends.

Eventually, Rhynn had some things to discuss with Mith alone, so I puttered about for a short time until I decided to try my hand at mining in the caves of the Red Light Goblins. On my way out of town I met with Aryx and after we talked a short time he decided to come with me. Our venture into the caves went well, and together we slew the few goblins who tried to prevent our delving and made our way to the second level of caverns where I had spied some mineral deposits on one prior venture. Using my gem-pick I chiseled away at the deposits to discover they yielded greenstone. We journeyed further into the caves and discovered several more deposits after the first seemed to have run out. Eventually a rather large goblin force appeared to attempt to bring about our end, but we handled them well and slew them all. However, with the goblins obviously aware now to our presence, and my gem-pick having broken in an attempt to mine a final greenstone deposit, we decided it would be best to head out and split our takings. We each profited with 40 gold taken from the goblins slain, and 4 clumps of greenstone mined from the caves.

After divvying up the loot as it were, we parted ways and I headed to the crafting house where I was able to cut 6 greenstone gems from the four clumps of mineral that were my share. I didn't have enough money in my purse to buy the oil to further detail the gems, and I didn't want to make the trip to the bank to make a withdrawal either, so I left the gems in their rather rough state to be detailed later.

I began to make my way back to the Wild Surge, thinking I might rest up a bit when I noticed Master Ozymandius nearby. It wasn't too often that the chance arose to speak with him, so I decided to spend some time in conversation. I am undoubtedly glad for that decision, and indeed I gained a great deal of insight into the nature of the mysterious bard of legend. I learned a lot about many other aspects of our existence from him as well, we must have talked for almost a full day it seemed. At last with eyes weary and body fighting my will to remain awake any longer at all, we parted ways and I went in to the inn to sleep. Having freshly awoken I've now written the summary of these few days into my journal and I feel ready to set out for new adventures today. Perhaps I shall start dating these entries to give better understanding of the passage of time between entries and the events therein.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on April 24, 2006, 09:41:37 AM: Entry 7 - Mai 4, 1399

I have received so much help, and so many gifts these past weeks since arriving in Hlint. Just recently even Ozymandius gave me a gift, aside from the fount of knowledge he seems to oft willingly share to my curiosity. He gifted me with a set of strength enhancing gloves that fit as though they were crafted for my hands alone. I'm not so good at repaying in kind such gifts as I've received I realized later when I caught myself calling him an old fart again. Usually I only say such things in jest, of course, but still I question whether the things I say are not taken hurtfully instead. I suppose if Ozymandius thought my intent truly born of disrespect he would not hesitate to teach me so, for what am I to him with his great magic’s?

My quick tongue seems to be getting me into a lot of trouble these last few days. I also deeply hurt Addison, speaking of things I don't know much about, and knowing as well that the things she does and says herself she cannot always control with her condition. I curse those blasted horses for the way they have tainted the lives of these people I consider friends. I also wonder if after the affair is over, when they no longer ride the horses, whether I will recognize them anymore? I have only known them as how they are now, bound with the traits of the horses which twist their own emotions always to those traits.

Rhynn has told me that I won’t be allowed to go with them in their final conflict because the plane to which they must travel would be too dangerous. I'm not sure how I feel about it. They are my friends, and my heart lies with seeing them free and being by their side in their hours of greatest need. I am also somewhat relieved for to die in vain having not provided them with support at such a time and instead weighing down their hearts with the burden of my passing would be counter to my wishes for them. I know Rhynn is right, and that as yet the planes are not places where I can safely walk.

Events these last days have at times been unsettling. Rhynn and I ventured into the Sielwood, to the cave where I had recovered the bard's necklace some days ago. I spotted some malachite there that I wished to mine, and got myself overburdened with it. As a result our progress on our return trip was slowed and outside the cave we encountered the huge spiders that so frequently roam the Sielwood. We tried at first to sneak past, but they must have sensed Rhynn, for one moment she was behind me, the next I heard the sounds of fighting and turned to see her fall under their clawed legs. I fought my way back, killing the beasts that were already severely wounded by Rhynn's magic’s, but not in time to stop her life from ebbing. I realized with shame that my greed was responsible for her death and with a heavy heart I returned through the forest and back to Hlint, encountering about half way one who gave me further magic aid and healed my own wounds.

Having reached Hlint, I made my way to the Wild Surge, I felt weakened and realized that the bite of the spiders had poisoned me. I'm lucky I made it as far as I did, and I collapsed inside the doorway before I could even see about getting to my usual room. Doria or the inn keeper must have realized I was bad off and allowed me to sleep off the effects of the poison without moving me and without being disturbed by the other patrons of the inn. When I awoke again I felt well enough to head back outside.

Whereupon heading outside I heard Rhynn's familiar voice, and that of master Mith from up atop the tower. I made my way to see why Rhynn's words sounded so heated and discovered they were not alone atop the platform. Some darkly robed figures were taunting Rhynn, calling her a slave, they looked the type to use the dark magic’s, and laughed in glee at rousing her ire. moments later Rhynn sunk to her knees in front of the one who seemed to lead the bunch and began repeating that a slave must learn her place. She did not seem herself, indeed I felt she had become bewitched by them. Master Mith acted swiftly then to drag Rhynn away from their influence and down off the tower. I stayed but long enough to spit at the feet of the dark leader and comment that I didn't believe any of them were worth the space they occupied. Then I left to see to Rhynn, my friend, for to me she and her well-being were more important than anything the dark ones had to offer in way of retort. I'd have gladly cut their tongues out with my blades however, though I am not foolish enough to believe I'd have succeeded in doing so if I had tried.

I followed the sounds of master Mith's voice as he tried to get through to Rhynn. There, next to the road they stood and Rhynn continued to act as though she believed herself a slave. She even began calling Mith by the name Saebhel, whom Rhynn had once explained was the cruel wizard that had once apprenticed her, and also taken advantage of her. So bad was her state of mind, she even forgot Freldo, despite our pointing out to her that she wore the rings he'd only just given her. Though Rhynn believes it was the power of her own memories that caused her to act so, I still hold that she was bewitched somehow, for what memories can cause one to forget even their most loved ones? We pleaded and spoke with Rhynn, trying to convince her she was no slave until the point she pulled forth a knife and began to cut herself. Mith grabbed the knife from her, but not until she'd lain open the back of her hand with it. With nothing else working I thought to fill my canteen with the cold well-water from the well nearby and thus poured the icy drink upon her head. The shock of cold and wet seemed to do the trick and washed away the bond of whatever witchery plagued her mind then. Grandpa had often said sometimes the simplest things can break the hold of magic. It appeared this time he was right, as he often seemed to be.

If as Rhynn believes it was not some witchery that held her mind, but her own memories and past, I hope she never suffers such a regression again. My heart cannot bear to see a friend in a such a state. I wanted to cry, but I knew for her I must try as best as I could to break the spell. Why do some in this world see fit to be so cruel to others? What measure of peace in their own hearts is ever gained by such hurtful acts? Yet as I said earlier, my tongue can be as wicked when temper feeds it and I do not harness it, but instead set it free to fly about like a whip. I must learn to control myself and focus not upon the hate of others, but instead upon what I can do to ease the pains of the suffering and make the world a better place for all to live in from my presence. Yet I wonder how when I cannot still even deal with the losses of my own past. I've hidden my feelings well these last days, deep within me, tampered down by making the hurts of others my concern instead. Yet I know they're there, aching... Hidden behind a mask of faked joy and happiness. It is sad I do have much to be thankful and happy for with my new friends...but, the pain I bear inside makes me feel more hollow than ever. I must find some way to honestly deal with it.

Erathim, my love, I miss you so but I beg of you, release my heart and let me live again. Or perhaps it is I who holds so firmly to the memory of you? Toran, teach me then to let go. I don't want to feel torn between my love of past and the love I should have for simply living. The strain is more than I can take alone. What laws of order can govern my heart to peace again? Is vengeance the way? Will slaying endlessly the goblins and orcs I find help heal my heart? I don't think it will, for I've tried that with fervor and it has failed me thus far. Perhaps I must find those directly responsible for the murder of my loved ones? Is that the way Toran? Must my vengeance be so specific? Why do you not answer me with your voice when I pray, is it to teach me faith and patience and self-reliance? What use is there in following you if your laws and precepts bring me no comfort or strength of heart and soul? I can learn faith in myself, and patience, and be self-reliant without you to aid me. Many others walk the path of godlessness. I had walked that path for most of my life. Who was the kindly paladin you sent my way upon the road? Why is it I can find no other paladins of yours who act so? And yes, I've met other paladins of yours, but they seem so callous, only concerned with bringing your law and order to the lands, but not seeming to realize that such laws must be set instead in the hearts of all in order to truly be effective. How does bringing death to the lawless give your words power, oh Toran? For will there not always be those who abandon law and order to seek their own glory and bring pain and suffering? Answer me! I beg.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on April 24, 2006, 06:52:39 PM: Entry 8 - Mai 9, 1399

I have fallen. Down deep into the most depraved hole of being. Never had I thought I could fall so far from the place in morality I had been planted in as a child. Today I betrayed, in a way, perhaps my dearest friend. True there were circumstances that made things confusing, but I should never have gone so far, as one pointed out to me. I will explain so at least some record will remain of why I do what I prepare to do now.

To begin, things were going well, I crafted some wonderful gems and even managed to sell them at market value, though since it was a friend who bought them I threw in some extras afterward. Grandpa always said never to cheat anyone, and always give your friends the sweetest deals if you could afford to. I also learned some basic alchemy and put it to good use making my own polishing oils for my gem-crafting. Thanks to a kind woman by the name of Tyria I learned the recipe for the oil and where to find the ingredients. With practice I made a total of 5 bottles of the stuff. In any case, I felt elated to have had such a good beginning.

And then I met Rhynn. She lapsed, again. Cold water didn't bring her out of it either, as it had once before. And here is where my depravity begins. Desperate to help my friend in any way I could, I made a plan to act as though her former master Saebhel had sold her to me and that I was her new owner. I lied to her, showing her a piece of parchment and saying it was the title of ownership for her. I went so far with the charade as to even slap her in trying to convince her, only so that I could keep her from wandering until help could arrive of course. The plan backfired, partly thanks to interference by those who didn't understand, partly due to Rhynn's own stubbornness and brainwashing to believe that Saebhel loved her, and she him. Now, she doesn't trust a thing I say, I may as well be the stranger she believes me to be.

I am cursed it would seem to losing everyone dear to me. I may as well lose myself, and that is where I am preparing to go. They are all safer without me anyway, I am only a burden to them. A weak mewling lamb who is constant need of saving and comforting. I will run again, and wander, as I did before my summons. The dragon is wrong, I am no hero, I cannot rise to such greatness. I am a failure, a dishonor to the memory of my family and to Erathim. I dare not even carry his blade with me now, lest I bring further shame upon us. I will leave it with Rhynn, if she'll take it from me in her current state. Should she recover, she deserves at least that as a keepsake of the good times we had together though few as they have been. If she will not take it, I will leave it with Freldo perhaps, or in the bank vault of Hlint.

Enough writing. I go!
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on April 24, 2006, 11:23:12 PM: Entry 9 - Month 5, Day 15, 1399
Well, so much for leaving. It seems Toran himself has taken steps to bar my path away from Hlint. No matter which way I travel, either calamity ensues or I simply find I don't have the will to continue away further. It doesn't matter I guess. I can just stay away from everyone and they'll be better off without me. I gave Erathim's sword to Lady Addison as I could not find Rhynn, or rather, I found her and she was well again and I did not wish to risk causing her the pain that I knew it would cause her. She said she remembered the horrible things I'd done to her, and then she thanked me for doing them! Thanked me for betraying her so! She said she knew I'd done it all just to protect her, but even still I feel the guilt of it. I cannot carry the weight of what I have done, even if she is thankful for the doing of it. I know it was wrong. I knew in my heart before I even went down that path. My name is still a mockery to me. My heart will never know true peace. I plan to take a lesson from Anna, and act as tough everything is fine until I finally fade from their minds and they forget about me. Since I find that I cannot leave Hlint, this seems the only way to gain solitude of a sort and thus protect them all from myself. Though it's odd, a few of them seemed to think I was worth-while. I don't know what they see in me. They said I am a true friend, but I wonder if I am? How can I be a true friend when in adversity I run like a coward and leave them like I've done to Anna and Rhynn, and even Addison? No, I'd be better off dead, if I could die. I'd be better off alone and wandering like before, if Toran and fate would permit it. Instead I'm stuck in Hlint. I'm sure it will happen again. If I make good friends they will all be taken from me as was my family, as was Erathim. Again and again until my heart stops beating from the ache of the losses. That never-ending ache.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on April 25, 2006, 06:50:00 PM: Entry 10 - Month 5, Day 28, 1399
I've awakened... Perhaps that's not quite the right word for it, or maybe it is. I suddenly found myself outside the Hlint crypts bleeding badly from a number of wounds that I didn't recall sustaining. I wandered a bit and came across Anna Lee near the well. She healed my wounds and told me to quit bleeding all over town. I felt confused, as though my brain itself were twisted within my skull and contorted into positions no mind ought to be in. Things have been gradually clearing up since then, but there are still large holes in my recollection of the past weeks. This awakening was on the 24th day of the month. I'm told from the lips of those around me that for the four days prior to the 24th I had been acting quite insane. Some even feared that the horse Insanity had chosen me as it's new rider after abandoning Angela. I am thankful for myself only to report that it was found to have chosen Mith instead, though in some way I almost wish it had chosen me. The poor man remains nearly incoherent in his behaviors. He wanders about administering 'Life' tests on random passers-by and other such non-sense. He even gave me a big smelly, slimy carp fresh from the pond. Evidently the illness of mind gripped me even before the 24th day of the month as I do not even recall writing the previous entry to this journal. The words I read in it are so strange to me, and counter to what I believe in...mostly. In a twisted way they ring true with some of my feelings even now. An odd thing happened while I was crafting with Rhynn today in Moraken's tower. She simply stopped and a moment or so later vanished before my eyes. I don't know what happened to her, but I hope it had nothing to do with the horses, Koralwyn, or Elezandor. I will have to make a point to retrieve Erathim's blade from Addison the next I see her. I don't truly understand why I would have given that away. It is my most treasured possession, in many ways, despite the constant reminder of losing him that it brings.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on April 26, 2006, 11:18:34 AM: Entry 11 - Month 6, Day 9, 1399
Well, it seems I've a new goal to shoot for, and one I enjoy working toward. A few days ago Rhynn gave me a cut amethyst as a gift, and then asked me if I could polish some of the stones for her. While I doubt my skills as a jeweler are close to perfection, I warned her in advance that I may not be able to cut & polish them further without flawing the gems. She urged me to try anyway, since she herself admitted having even less skill than I in gem crafting. Of the 6 cut amethyst she gave me, I was able to further cut and polish two into fine gems. The four that were flawed I ground up into dust for her. She then invited me to come with her to see what she was going to use them for, and on the way explained she could infuse the beautiful gems with spells! I'd heard of the process before, but being not one who delves into magic I had never seen the workings of such infusing. We went to Moraken's tower for he has the equipment there for aiding in the infusing process. I gave her some additional gems that I could afford to spare and she practiced her art before me. I was amazed when she handed to me a gem with a simple light spell caught within it's core and instructed me that it could only be invoked once. She does need more practice in the art before she will be able to infuse things without many errors, but I know she'll get better with time, as I will further hone my gem-crafting skills. We were both a little high off the successes we had doubted we could achieve, and Rhynn proposed a wonderful idea that we should go into business together once we were better able to perform our respective skills with a higher degree of reliability. The idea caught a part of me and lifted it out of darkness, giving me the inspiration I believe I needed to finally begin putting my past behind me. Since that day I've been thinking of other lines of business I might enjoy undertaking. I've grown better in my skills tailoring robes and fine garments, so perhaps I'll start a business designing and selling clothes to all who pass through Hlint and wish to show an eye for fashion. That would certainly show Ozymandius that my style of dress isn't as oddball as he likes to say it is. I think I'd enjoy such a business venture, successful or not, simply because I enjoy working with clothing and jewelry. Other notes I think I should write about from recent days include retrieving Erathim's blade from Addison. Not only did she spend days searching the world for me after I'd given her the blade and told her I was leaving Hlint, but she also gifted me with a second long sword made of iron. It is a finely crafted weapon, and once I have it enchanted by Master Jin Lun Lee, I believe it will even cut deeper than Erathim's blade does. More important than the gift of the blade, and of greater value to me than any possession I might acquire, Addison said she counted me among her true friends, and thought of me as being even as close as a sister. I was honest with her, and said I too count her as a close friend, but that I do not know her well enough yet to think of her as closely as a sister. I am sure in time our ties of friendship will strengthen to such a degree, but I have never given my truest friendship easily. Grandpa said that the most worthwhile relationships develop over time and are built by ever increasing layers of mutual trust and respect.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on April 27, 2006, 07:23:58 AM: Entry 12 - Aw...forget the date, it doesn't matter today.

Though I'm writing this today, it's been several days again since last I wrote. Parchment, paper and the like are rather expensive and I've been pouring all my money and time into learning my crafts so that Rhynn & I can start our business sooner. Perhaps I'll be ready even as soon as the ordeal with the Riders is over and she and the others return to their 'normal' selves.

Rhynn came into the crafting house last night floating on the breeze like a vagrant butterfly in a field of an endless strawberry patch in full bloom. She told me Freldo had finally kissed her and even had I been able to tie the entire world to her feet, I don't think it could have succeeded in holding her spirits down. She is most definitely and completely infatuated with him, and I think he with her. I hope it lasts forever for them both, for if not there will come crashing like thunder one, or both, to the ground and the deepest valleys of brokenness. I deal daily with the pain of Erathim's absence, and his being involuntary it still hurts so. I can only imagine that the pain of someone leaving intentionally would be a far greater one.

Another thought crosses my mind now, perhaps if the two wed or run off together or whatever they decide to do, Rhynn will not wish to open a business with me after all. It would not pain me if this were so, so long as she was happy with Freldo. I would miss her company a bit, of course, as a good friend should. Although, I'm sure we would likely still see each other often enough.

In any event, with or without Rhynn as my partner I think I shall enjoy pursuing the idea of a business venture. I've already gotten a paying customer for a dress just last night! Elated as I was I forsook some sleep and created the garment to the specifications and measurements given me by the customer. I'm sure his loved one will cherish the gift when he gives it unto her. I will finish the smaller modifications and adjustments to it this morning and have it ready by the next time I see him.

Love seems to be surrounding me in this crazy, turbulent world. Perhaps it will see fit to lift me up once more as it has Rhynn and others I know. Still the strings of my heart pull at me from the memory of Erathim, I don't know if I'm ready to let him go just yet, and as long as those strings remain intact I will be forever bound from the flight love offers.

Lady Addison brought me another gift in these last few days too, I should not forget to mention that. It is a finely crafted short-blade imbued with magic. She said, when it deems me worthy it will allow me to wield it and teach me to invoke it's special power. Until that day I will keep it safe in the small wooden box she handed it to me in. She also gave me some minerals that she would like fashioned into jewelry for herself. I will wait until my skills with gem-work are more precise, I do not wish to flaw them and bring them ruin when Lady Addison has been so gracious to me.

Well, enough writing, I should get to work on finishing that dress now.

(the margins of this page are decorated with doodles of sketched roses and some small designs of rather unique looking clothes)
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on April 27, 2006, 11:13:23 PM: Entry 13 - Today I wrote a poem

Well, Some intersting events today. I went with Rhynn, Ireth, Master Ketil, Freldo, Kyle, and a few others to a place housing the ruins of a bard's guild called the Ineffible Chord. There we fought Slaadi and dark-robed figures that from what I overheard might have come from Pandemonium itself. They were very strong, and in jsut the first seconds of fighting I fell beneath their cold blades. Fortunately, someone of our party raised me up again and I avoided any chance of a meeting with the Soul Mother as a result. Once the Slaadi and other beings were slain, we set about doing what we'd come to do, and searched the ruins for an amulet that we'd been told would be key in defeating Koralwyn. Kyle found the amulet we were there for, but Ireth snatched it from him before anyone could blink. Ozymandius also appeared and offered some information about the amulet and it's history.He also generously paid the toll for those who'd come without enough money to return to Hlint via the magic portal.
After returning to Hlint I found Kyle trying rather unsuccessfully to keep Mith from running about town in his crazed state. Shortly after, Rhynn and Freldo showed up to join us. We gave greeting of sorts to some new folks visiting Hlint, and I think we may have scared them with our oddness, though admittedly that was what Rhynn set out to do, and I along with her. We can be so full of mischief sometimes.
I shared a poem with Rhynn a little later. It's one I only just wrote today. In writing this I think i've gotten one step nearer to healing of my past losses. I'll commit the poem to paper here in my journal, though I'm not sure it's finished quite yet, and I have no title for it.
[INDENT]

When daybreak comes at first light of sun, I shed a tear,
For this is the hour in which your passing left me in fear.

When sun sets and darkness falls, a cloak upon the land, I cry.
Yes, this is the hour from which all I loved were torn without a reason why.

With each mark passed under the shade of the sundial I mourn.
Yet nothing marks my passage on the roads. My heart is forever torn.

Another year,
another sigh,
another pair of soles far past worn.

Sands of the hourglass now depleated,
Shades of sad memories at last defeated.
But can I ever fill the hollow hole?
Will love again touch this fallow soul?

Another year,
another try,
another season of hope is born.

[INDENT] -by Treana Min E'Zoenna
[/INDENT][/INDENT]
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on April 28, 2006, 10:41:41 PM: Entry 14
So much has happened in the last few days. And the ominous feeling that things regarding the Pandemonium problem as I've taken to calling it will soon be wrapping up one way or another grow ever more predominant on my mind and the minds of my friends. Add to that the burden of our every-day frustrations, trials and tribulations and it's a wonder that we cankeep anything together.
At the Lelion Arms Inn & Tavern, Addison began to make some trouble for Freldo and Rhynn again because of Indulgence and the way it affects her. I tried reasoning her out of it at first but as usual when the curse has it's hold on her, she would not listen to reason. I was forced to do something very unpleasant. I lied to her, making her believe I'd been with her lover Cole, though honestly I've never met the man. It was enough to draw her out of the inn and away from Freldo, though I was apprehensive that I might lose my head as a result. Once she was outside I told her the truth, and explained why I lied like I had. She seemed to understand and her mood changed. We then decided to go on a journey together to pick some grapes for some wine. Along the way we met Anna Lee and Mr. Mith, who accompanied us for most of the rest of the journey. We even stopped at cave Addison knew of and mined some gold after fighting off some bandits. All in all, I think it was the most pleasant time I've spent with Addison.
Ariving back in Hlint, I found myself inducted into a party heading into the mines of Haven, consisting of Freldo, Rhynn, Jharl, Bandikoot and Ash, as well as Kyle for a time. Our venture was very successful and we lost no one along the way, though there were a couple of close calls. I found the mines of Haven most beautiful to behold with all of their sub-terranian lakes and shimmering crystal formations. If it were not for the ogres there, I'd have liked to have stayed for much longer despite the chill underground air.
I am tired. I lay down now my quill and go to slumber now in my usual bed here at the Wild Surge Inn in Hlint. The doings of these next few days weigh heavy upon me. I pray to Toran that we survive to accomplish our goals and defeat Koralwyn.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on April 29, 2006, 08:39:22 PM: Entry 15 - The End?
The day arrived, we gathered together in Lelion at first. Then we set out for the entrance to the cave wherein lies the portal to the plane of Pandemonium. It was a group between 20 and 30 in size I think, though my estimate could be wrong. Ozymandius was with us, having performed a ritual to activate a binding power on the amulet and bound Insainty to it, and hopefully Koralwyn as well when she again donned the amulet. Inside the cave we passed unhindered by the Slaadi, for they wished to be rid of Koralwyn as well. However, other horrors stood in our path, including weapons animated by magic and escaped patients of the Sanitariums of Pandemonium. Grimly we fought our way to the portal, I died once in that span to the death throws of a storm or something that exploded violently. Then we entered the plane itself, and our ears were all filled with the wicked howling of the winds, nearly enough so to drive one to madness. We progressed toward Koralwyn's lair, fighting as we went. I died twice more in the twisted coridoors of the asylum. Finally, so close to our goal the stronger of our group lead the way to the final chamber where she awaited us. I didn't see it for myself, but I could hear the intense fighting from around the corner and I admit I froze there on the spot in terror for some time. When at last I gained control of myself again, I could hear Koralwyn's tauntings. She sarcastically thanked Ozymandius and the rest of us for returning her amulet, and I think she may have put it on, but if she did the binding didn't work, or at least not the way we expected. She unleashed powerful magics just then that swept even round the bend to where I stood. I tried to flee after the first blast, but the second caught me before I could get clear and I died again for the fourth time in the venture. My body could handle no more and I soon awoke to find myself at the bindstone in Hlint.
If anyone else had died in those blasts, they must have been bound elsewhere, or been resurrected, for I was the lone member of our party in Hlint, at least to my sight. I made my way, a ghostly shell of myself, to the row of benches near the pond. There was another sitting there reading a book I think, but I was in too much shock to notice details well. I set down on the bench, staring blankly into the pond with that somewhat still-dead feeling that accompanies the event of dying and being drawn back to the bindstone. I must have muttered my thoughts aloud as I anguished over what appeared to be our failure. I must have said that I thought the world would soon end. The other person spoke in response to my woes and I heard dimly the words. At first they scarcely registered, my brain was so scattered.
Whoever the person was, I never got a name, they told me that Koralwyn was a fallen Cellstial, and that she didn't intend to take the planes in a struggle for power, but rather merely wished to return home to Cellestia from which she'd been cast out. She said she was a plane-walker herself, and that she would try talking with Koralwyn to put an end to things or some such. She even thought we ought to be helping Koralwyn return to Cellestia instead of trying to stop her. I didn't know what to think, what I'd just heard seemed so contrary to everything that I'd heard from Ozymandius, Rhizome and others thus far that I wasn't certain I could trust this woman now speaking to me. I abruptly stood and retreated to the Inn to rest, though the stranger followed on my heels into the inn. She seemed very upset with me for leaving, and I suppose the way I left was rude. My mind needed rest though, so I shut out her words behind me. I wonder now what Koralwyn had done to get herself thrown from Cellestia in the first place? It would seem to me that it would have to be something fairly bad. Also, Ozymandius had said Koralwyn was a bard and hadn't even brought up her past as a Cellestial. Wouldn't that be something important enough to at least mention? This other person I talked to near the pond also said she'd told her ideas to the Riders on more than one occasion, so I wonder why the Riders didn't stop to consider the merrit of her words? I don't recall the Riders even seeming to have mentioned considering anything but that Koralwyn was out to take control of every last plane, rather than just trying to return to Cellestia.
If indeed the rest failed in their goal today after my death and return to Hlint, I will talk with them about what this woman said to me by the pond. Maybe there may be a way to rid them of the horses and free both Elezander and Aranna without a deadly confrontation with Koralwyn? If all Koralwyn wants is to return to Cellestia in peace, perhaps something can be worked out.
(further text in more excited script is written out)
Yay! The trial is over! My friends are free! Ozymandius told me himself of the result of the mission, and from Kyles account, if I had but lived only seconds more I wouldn't have died at all before Koralwyn's defeat. I have yet to see Rhynn, Addison, Anna, or Ireth since I died, but from the tellings of others it sounds as though the ending was ultimately happy for all but Koralwyn. I even heard that Aranna will be staying with Ireth now! I wish I could have been there, but at least I can take comfort in knowing my death wasn't entirely in vain.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 01, 2006, 07:49:30 AM: Entry 16
It's been a few days now since we set into the planes to defeat Koralwyn. I think I feel now at last recovered from the many passings of my spirit there on the planes, though I suppose the scars in my mind will always remind me of that day, they are nothing next to the scars left by losing my entire town, my family, and my beloved Erathim on that cold winter night some years ago.
I've spent much of these last few days doing nothing but working on my crafting skills. As a result I managed somehow to craft an exceptional copper ring set with a malachite. It seems to make me feel healthier just wearing it, as though protected from disease. Such is the nature of malachite I have been told. I also made a copper amulet set with a greenstone, not an exceptional one, but as my first amulet I'm still happy with how it turned out. The greenstone seems to help protect against poisons. Such protection isan valuable thing when venturing into the Sielwood for copper or other places where poisonous creatures, or those wielding poisoned weapons, seem to abound.
I spent some time with Addison traveling to Rilara to deliver mail to a man called Farmer Part. Kyle and a woman named Siloon joined us on our trip. After givingfarmer Parthis mail he told us that the scarecrows he'd set out in his field had somehow become enchanted and came to life and wouldn't let he or anyone else near the fields. He was afraid he and his family would starve if they could not be removed, so the four of us agreed to help rid him of them. Powerful witchery must have been done to the scarecrows, because they did move, and even eminated an aura to cause fear. At one point I became too terrified to fight them and ran back away from the fighting. Afterward Addison and Kyle needed to leave our party to head out on their own for differing reasons, so Siloon and I ventured back to Point Harbor together.
At Point Harbor, Siloon & I met AnnaLee and Siloon's suiter, though I'm sorry now I forget his name. AnnaLee seemed almost as depressed as ever, though she talked mainly of being there to bake some pies or some such. I don't think that was her real reason for being there. Eventually she excused herself from our pressence and not long afterward I could almost swear I saw Mr. Mith dissappering into the streets not far away. Perhaps something was wrong with him still and that was why Anna was acting so depressed? I hope that isn't the case, despite that Mr. Mith has expressed his mistrust for me, and even open disliking, I still like him and hope he is well now that the trials of Pandemonium are over. I also care for Anna, and I know she and Mr. Mith are very close. Alas, it seems that though the problems of the Pandemonium adventures are over, perhaps a happy ending was not given to all the Riders. I hope for their sake I am wrong, and over-reacting.
In any event, the world twisted around again, as it does sometimes, and I found myself back in Hlint where I set to honing my crafting skills yet further. In the course of doing so I crossed paths again with Kyle, Rhynn, and Freldo near the Orc Basher's Shop. I said something that upset Kyle, and since I promised him I would not speak of it again, I will not even write what it was about here in my journal lest prying eyes somehow see. Anyway, I chased him down into the crafting house and apologized as sincerely as I have ever, and he accepted my apologies and our friendship is maintained. Afterward, when I returned to Rhynn and Freldo with the dust of some topaz gems they'd asked me to crush up for them, it wasn't long before Siloon crossed our paths. At first I was happy to see her, but then as Freldo and she talked as old friends, and I saw Rhynn begin to bristle, I feared the two would tear each other's throats out right there on the streets. Thankfully, they remained civil enough and such disaster was avoided in the end, but I dare say I hope the two never meet again. When Siloon left, Freldo and Rhynn seemed to need some time alone, probably to discuss the situation of Siloon and other similar issues, so I excused myself and went to collect 'shrooms for making more gem-polishing oils.
After collecting my 'shrooms I exited the sewers to find Kyle standing nearby. He still seemed a little put off, but I decided not to press things and simple asked him if he was taking it easy to which he replied he was. Parting ways again, I went to Moraken's Tower to brew my gem-polishing oils and walked in on what seemed to be a meeting of great import including Ozymandius, and other powerful looking people. As I made my oils I was tempted into listening in on their discussion since they didn't seem to be wishing to hide it. They talked of Drezneb, and some artifacts of his that they were seeking, at least that's what I thought I heard. Something about a ring, a staff, and an amulet, and perhaps a shroud too? In the end, as I stood listening intently and a bit fearfully to what they said, they decided to go see the Witch of the Sielwood, who evidentally they thought to have some knowledge or something that they wanted and needed. Moraken himself remained, and I felt as though he was staring at me in disapproval for listening in, so I left quickly to avoid further provoking his ire. Perhaps I misread his expression and my interpretation of his mood is completely off, but better to be cautious around those with such power as his.
After that I went to the crafting house hoping I might find Rhynn and Freldo, or someone else I knew well enough to talk with about what I'd overheard. Alas, none whom I knew were anywhere to be seen, but a man who introduced himself as Andre stopped me in the darkened street outside the Orc Basher's. I thought I recognized him as one who'd come with us to the planes, but I wasn't so sure. In any case I didn't feel familiar enough with the man to share much, despite his questioning whether something big was happening. I don't know whether or not Andre noticed, but I kept my hand on my sword hilt the entire duration of our discussion, for a strange man stopping a woman in a darkened street is oft not a portent of good things. At last I dismissed myself from his company and returned to the safety of the relatively busy Wild Surge Inn, hoping the man wouldn't follow me there. Since I was also quite tired, I payed Yastin for another night's stay in my usual room and asked him to keep an eye out for shifty-looking persons who might be nosing about after me.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 01, 2006, 11:02:13 PM: Entry 17
Wanderlust filled me these last few days. I went to Rilara, and Port Hampshire, Fort Velenske and other places. Near Port Hampshire I was slain by some of the enormous ants that have a colony nearby. I spent some time there then, wreaking my vengeance upon the insects and practicing my sword techniques. I feel I gained some valuable insight from my time there. Also, while I was in that area I chanced upon Mr. Mith and AnnaLee. They were passing through and stopped to talk for a short time. AnnaLee seemed in better spirits and even Mr. Mith was being nice. Believe it or not, he gave me two bottles of gin he told me were made by Anna. I feel I must have done something right to earn a gift from Mr. Mith, even if he did say he only gave them to me because he himself doesn't drink.
I also had a brief encounter with Addison, looking quite astonishingly pale from a recent death. She told me vines, of all things, had killed her and she was determined to get her revenge on them. I encouraged her to go prune away and we both had a bit of a laugh.
Further troubling news reached me about the Broken Forest. Evidentally, the grave there had been either excavated, or whatever was buried there dug it's way out and now all manner of heinous things prowl the wood, making it even more unsafe than before. The lives of many unsuspecting travelers became forfiet upon wandering within those dark trees.
Another interesting and distrubing event was that a Drow appeared in Hlint and attacked Ireth. There were several of us nearby and we drew arms to stop the Drow. Rhynn and Ireth both stopped us though, and the Drow also ceased her attack, but instead took Ireth behind the bank and spoke with her privately. It was most un-nerving. Afterward, Ireth explained the Drow had marked her, possibly for death, and over the loss or transport of some packages of silk of all things. She seemed to belive there may have been more to it, but didn't have many details to share. Though she did ask Rhynn to look something up, a name I think,in the library of the Arcan Alliance. This event happened before I set out to Port Hampshire and the other places I've mentioned.
I'm now sitting in Hlint near the pond, one of my favorite places to reflect and think. I wish I knew more about the different events that seem to be going on around me. However, it would seem I am rather insignifcant enough to avoid being kept informed. What do the Drow have to do wit~ (here the writing ends with a long scribble, like that which could be the result of a person flinching in surprise while still holding quill to paper.)
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 02, 2006, 11:16:31 PM: Entry 18
I should note, where the scribble appears in my previous entry I was startled by the approach of someone new to Hlint. She was an Elven maiden who introduced herself as Shielle Eventide. We talked at length sitting on the bench near the pond and I answered as many of her numerous, and well thought out, questions as I could. Eventually Kyle stumbled upon the two of us sitting there and took up conversation with her as well. When the two began speaking in Elven, well I guess you could say I excused myself mentally from the area, and my mind began to touch on memories I'd prefer to forget. I guess I let the bad memories get the better of me again and I stormed off from the two raging about my hatred for goblins and orcs. Grandpa taught us not to judge people by their race or other outward appearances, but instead to judge by their actions, but I swear I felt like killing even the dragon-called goblins that can occasionally be seen in Hlint.
Of course, Grandpa's lessons bring up other flaws in my behavior that I've been blatantly denying consideration under the lens of truth. I've realized I have been treating some I've encountered unfairly based on differences of belief that were expressed in perhaps rough manner. As much as I feel loath to confess, one such person I have treated poorly has been the woman Maev, a paladin of Toran. It's her high-and-mighty attitude and comments of being superior to those of us not called to be paladins that I most have trouble with. She has been making some effort, I can tell, to be civil with me. I realize that I should return such civility, even as bothered by our initial exchanges as I have been. Perhaps I might learn that she isn't so bad as those first impressions have painted her to be in my mind, or perhaps I will find my impressions correct. Whatever the case, I cannot find out if I do not give her another chance, and as a fellow Toranite I owe her at least that. I have even considered the possibility that following Toran is not the right path for me.
In other events, I have died for the thirtieth time these last few days. Slain by a kobold shaman while I was attempting rather foolishly to mine the Sielwood caves alone. My lesson finally learned, I will not venture into those caves again without at least one other to guard my back, at least not until I have become much better with fighting.
Also, regarding the strange events of the Broken Forest, or rather the Sundered Forest as Ozymandius believes it should now be called, I have learned some new information. It appears that a hero known as Shadow had been entombed there, and that his lover, one of the Seven Sisters is the one who changed the wood from merely somewhat peilous to so dangerous that even Addison cannot survive it's fury long. Ozymandius believes she may attempt to take control of the Silver Vein plant in order to try to find again her lost love, Shadow. If she does so, all of nature will be destroyed, so says Ozymandius. I met with Anna and Talen in the Sielwood Rangers Vale and told them what I had heard, and togehter we returned ot Hlint to see of Freldo might know more about the legend of Shadow. Freldo wasn't really all that much more informative though, and he admitted freely his lack of knowledge after sharing what things he did know of.
Afterward, Talen and I left out of Hlint to head back to the Sielwood caves to mine some copper. While we didn't find much copper, I did manage to chisel out 10 nuggets of tin before my pick-axe broke. Talen and I have adventured together before, and I always feel safer in his company. We also seem to get along well with each other, though I sometimes wish he'd talk a bit more. A girl shouldn't have to carry on the whole conversation by herself after all. I'm also not sure he likes me quite as much as I like him. Maybe I'll seek out his company more often to see if I can find out. He somewhat reminds me of Erathim, but not in a way that brings pain to me.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 04, 2006, 08:53:19 AM: Entry 19 - Mulnari, Oclar 16, 1399

It's a wonder I can even hold my quill steady enough to write in my journal right now. I'm so nervous still about it all, but I am a bit more calm now that I've had time to deal with it. I seem to have fallen in love again, but the question I ask myself is with whom? Talen reminds me so much of Erathim in so many ways that I fear the feelings I have for him, are really only rooted in the feelings I have for the memory of my dear Erathim. If it's only the memory I love I do not wish to break Talen's heart, so I am hesitant to commit to any of it, though Talen seems ready enough in his own way. I tried to tell him I want to take things slowly, and I think he understood that. Part of me still feels the rush of it all though and I don't know whether to be happy, sad, or both. Talen gave me a beautiful ring set with a blue stone to match my dress. He also gave me a full bouquet of roses. But most important to me is the time and understanding he's given. His patience with my indecision. His sometimes humorous way of wooing me. He is such a dear friend, I'm frightened to think of how a failed love might jeopardize that. Perhaps I also fear losing him as I lost Erathim so long ago.

In a way, I fear this love reaction. I wonder why our emotions make us as cottonseed blown on by winds of everything. Love makes us such irrational creatures. Yet the answers are there somewhere within us, if we are bold enough to ask the questions and seek them out. Were it not for my dear friend Anna, I think I'd still be lying in a dark room too nervous to go forth and ask even the first of those questions.

The whole of it still takes me by storm. How is it that one moment we are merely companions, working together toward common goals of propserity, and then the next we're gazing into each other's eyes and speaking forth the deepest feelings of our souls? How did this come to be in but a moment of change?

I feel I shall begin crying again should I write further, so I will stop for now.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 05, 2006, 09:17:33 AM: Entry 20 - Mulnari, Novlar 2, 1399 What words can begin to describe these last days? I am an emotional wreck. Nothing new with that I suppose. Let me start then at the beginning of recent events in my life here in Hlint. The beginning is usually the best place to start most stories anyway. So, to begin with my days were going well. I got some time to girl-talk with Rhynn, which didn't really clear up my indecisions much, but at least helped me get things off my chest a little more. I probably bored her to death though in the telling, poor lass was obviously having trouble sitting still for it all. She told me some things of her own affairs in the vaguest of manner that I will not write about. In any event, later I teamed up with Ireth and her new man, Geldar, to do some mining in the Goblin Caves outside Hlint. I was hesitant to bring Oscar along, and said so, but both Geldar and Ireth seemed confident of his safety so I brought him into the caves with us. Alas, I brought him to his death. We had been mining very successfully and were on our way out of the caves. I was myself overburdened some from carrying my share of the ore that Oscar could not, so Oscar and I lagged behind some. It happened so suddenly that the filthy Goblins dropped from above onto Oscar that I didn't even have time to turn before he was as good as dead. In that heart-wrenching moment, time seemed too slow and looking in his eyes I saw the light of life leave them as he colapsed beneath their stabbing blades. He looked to me with pure innocence, and it was as if his eyes pleaded with me, asking simply "Why?" He was but an ox, true, but a friend in his own way as well, dear to me as any other friend. Overburdened as I was, my blade struck down his killers as swiftly as they had struck him down, but it eases not the pain in my heart. Again Goblins have taken away from me someone dear, and with them another piece of my own heart. My vengeance upon them will never be complete until the last Goblin falls and they are purged from this world entirely. I dragged as much with me as I could to town, ever so slowly, ignoring my own wounds. At last, brought down by Geldar in east Hlint as he worked to dress my wounds, I cried and lamented and screamed with fury for Oscar. Poor Oscar, innocent and faithful to the end. Some wicked little person with nary heart nor understanding came then and taunted, mocking my loss and my feelings, and my friends who sought to comfort me. With some effort I stood and drew my blade, would that I could bring myself to kill that assinine lout, he is fortunate to still have his head. Instead, I heeded the calls of those who care for me, to some degree at least and I turned my fury back to the Goblins rather than commit the act of murder on this one unfit to share the world with those of true and noble souls. If my friends had not been there, my rage was such that my blade would have swung and sundered until there was nought left to hold that souless troll-dung to this plane. My grief again overcame me on my path away, and I fell in the road again. Rhynn, my dearest friend was there to comfort me, as much as I refused in my state to be comforted. But time passed, and I calmed as tears flowed freely in a river to take away with them some of my pain. I still grieve for Oscar, but I am again in control more or less of myself and my feelings. And then, as night drew close, things changed again, somewhat seeming for the better. Meeting Silool, Rhynn, and several others in the street, we decided to have a party at the Wild Surge. It seemed the thing to take my mind away from recent tragedy, and so I went willingly with. During the evening our conversation was light, and cheerful. Silool brought out her guitar and played some songs while we set around the table. She certainly has style and prowess beyond my own with music, I'll give her that. In point, as the evening drew on, Talen arrived and joined us at my request. He seemed a bit uncomfortable to be with such a group, and kept silent for the most part. I had to show off the ring he gave me in order to fend off the predations of Silool, or so I felt at one point when she seemed to take an interest in him. I like Silool, but I was not about to let her seduce Talen. Not that I think he'd be seduced by her, but why should he have to endure the attempts should they come? So, as things wound down and each went their seperate ways, I found myself in the pleasurable company of he who loves me. Which brings me to my next and greatest dilema. We went from there to a place in the hills overlooking Haven Keep. There we talked and sat together near a small pond, surrounded by flowers. Windy as it was, it was peaceful and enjoyable. I am glad Talen has shown me the place, and I will most likely return there when I need time to think alone. Later still he decided to show me another secluded spot, this one off the path to Lelion and requiring a short swim to a tiny isle with a campsite. I wish that it had not been raining, but it did, and never seemed to quite stop, though there were some lulls. It didn't really seem to matter though to either of us too much, so long as the fire stayed lit. It was there he told me those three words that make any womans heart dance, "I love you". A fact I have known for some time now, but one which I enjoy hearing from his own lips. But at the same time I am saddened, for my own feelings are not yet entirely clear to me and I could not return the words, though a part of me ached to. At last, in the dim morning light he told me he had to leave for some time, he knew not how long it might be. We parted ways then, and I told him to return to me safely before I turned to walk alone back to Hlint. I could write for ages and never cover the true depths of my feelings throughout the night with Talen, held in his arms to ward against the cold and wet of the rain. We shared our stories in more depth, our losses respectively and how they came about. We shared the fire, and a tenderness that I know is born of love and caring. I questioned my own feelings, and asked him what he would prefer, that I continue to make him wait until I knew for certain I loved him and not a memory I saw within him of Erathim, or that I say I loved him then and there with the possibility that later I would find it was not he whom I loved but the memory instead. He told me in answer that he would prefer to wait and know truth when it came, and it comforted me to know that my decision was indeed the right one, and the one he also wished for.
The Greatest War
The greatest war is not fought on battlefields, nor is it fought with armies vast in number.
Instead, the greatest war is between Flesh and Spirit, without Reason.
For Reason flies away when Passion set's it free from the bonds that hold it to the mind.
Flesh and Spirit are left alone to contend over fields of Love, not yet ripe for a full harvest.
I have begun to fight this war, inside me, though other complications bring obstacles to the field of battle.
The first battle was joined as I asked him to hold me in his arms, Reason fled and may not return until the war is finished,
Not until a victor is sure and either Flesh or Spirit defeated and the Harvest full and bountiful, or brought in too soon.
The first battle raged, Passion the general of the Flesh, urging forward it's advance upon the lines drawn on my heart.
That touch, held me so gently, and so differently than one felt previous, though it comforted my soul and gave fire to Passion all the same.
Harken to me all ye who intend to set upon the path of Love, a most noble trek with reward far greater than any other.
This war, the Greatest War, is not easilly won. Flesh and Passion are strong together and Spirit is oft too willing to give in to their advancement.
Do not let Flesh and Passion win until those fields are ripe unto harvest, or Love may very well be consumed by flame of lust and famine in the lands be imminent.
Seek to hold the line for Spirit, until the day when union is Blessed before men and gods alike through sacred ceremony!
Only then allow Flesh and Passion to harvest those fields, and there will be Love left over for a new season of planting and growth to yield again even more bountiful.
So it is written in the foundations of creation.
This first battle, the emotions so sweet that chased away Reason, this battle of being merely held in arms of a gentle man,
This battle has been won, but only narrowly...
I ponder the result. Will my Spirit have strength to resist the next advances of Flesh and Passion?
Or has the line been pushed back enough that I dare receive a single kiss?
Fight on in the war I will, for I seek that great reward in the deepest yearnings of my heart.
Another battle will be fought, I pray only that Spirit remain strong enough to hold the line yet one more battle at a time...
Though truly my heart doth yearn for release to abandon,
To the lofty heights of carefree joy,
I must tie it down, lest the war be lost!
I urge you all, each man and woman, to do the same and fight for the Full Harvest,
Fight for a Love eternal in everlasting seasons of the heart!
Without such Love, there is only pain upon this world.
Without such Love, Passion and Flesh are only satisfied for mere moments.
As glorius as those moments may seem, they lead to pain, yay unto death of the Heart and Soul!
It has been so forever, and forever it will remain the Law of all creation.
--by Treana Min E'Zoenna
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 06, 2006, 07:59:35 AM: Entry 21 - Tunar, Novlar 17, 1399

I came to a realization, and made a choice yesterday. I know now that I do indeed love Talen Sgath, and while our love is new and yet fragile, I believe with time it can grow stronger than the love I have for Erathim. I will never stop loving Erathim and my memory of him, and I would not choose to do so. That doesn't mean I cannot have room for this new love I build now with Talen, and my love for Erathim shouldn't have gotten in the way as much as it had.

I do not know what I will do with Erathim's blade. I had thought to part with it at one point, when I thought I needed to forget Erathim in order to move on, but now I see no need to do so. The Blade, however, is worn with use and the sword given me by Addison is better for fighting with. Perhaps, there may be some way I can have Erathim's Blade re-forged to be stronger, so that I have reason beyond sentiment to keep it with me. Erathim's Blade reamins dear to me, and if there be a way possible to restore it to greater effectiveness so that it be my primary blade, then I will find it.

Speaking of the blade given me by Addison, I have been delaying far too long to have it enchanted by Master Jin Lun Lee. This is probably because I've been investing most of my funds into learning various crafts. I shall have to save up for an enchantment or maybe several, as I think my shield and armor could use enhancement as well.

Speaking of crafting, it seems almost a pointless effort at times. I've made many beautiful rings from copper and various gems, the most of which have been greenstone, but I cannot find buyers for the jewelry I've made. It's frustrating to put so much time, effort and money into something and not even be able to recoup more than a single gold piece for each finished product. I haven't had any buyers for the clothing I make recently either. But I suppose I do the crafting more for my own benefit anyway. I'm working on putting together a really nice outfit made of silks, but my first attempt failed and the materials were ruined. So, I'm having to re-gather more silk to try again. Despite the pain of losing my ox Oscar, I think I will have to break down and buy another ox to help carry around all the things I need to continue my crafting efforts.

Once again, Talen had to leave during our time together, called away by a message delivered via falcon. I he still says he cannot tell me all the details of what he is up to when he is called away so. Though he did warn me to stay away from Krandor, explaining that it may not be safe for me to go there. I only wish I could go with him to be sure of his safety...I don't want to lose him now that I'm so sure I love him. Even as a friend, I wouldn't want to lose him.

Ireth is to marry Geldar, and it seems Mr. Mith and Anna have already wed in their own way and were keeping it somewhat secret. It seems almost as imminent that Rhynn & Freldo will wed. My mind seems to be wandering in this writing.

Let it wander, I suppose. I dream fondly of seeing Talen again soon and don't seem to be able to focus on much else for long. Such is new love, I know, for I have been through it before with Erathim. In time, and with greater familiarity my mind will gain a fimer grip on the reigns, but hopefully passion for each other will not cool. Yet true love persists through times when passion dims, and works to stir those flames into a steady blaze, not a sudden explosion that fades and dies quickly. Yay, let the embers of our hearts never grow cold and dark for each other...
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 07, 2006, 07:15:18 AM: Entry 22 - Wedlar, Decilar 4, 1399

Days pass and here I am still alone. I received a letter from Talen while traveling in the desert near Spellguard with Addison, Ketil, and a few others. The letter stated he was on his return from wherever he'd gone and would be back soon. While I continued onward with my friends we eventually wound up in Dregar, I think. In another desert there, I was slain by giants under cover of invisibility in a surpise attack. They had flanked us while our group fought others of their ilk, and I got caught in the attack and could not run quickly enough to escape the blows that killed me. None in our group could use magic to ressurect my body there, so instead my soul was drawnback ot the bindingstone in Point Harbor. From there I set sail to Port Hampshire, and then to the Lelion docks, on my return journey to Hlint.

Not far from Castle Blackford I came upon Mr. Mith and Miss AnnaLee and we talked for a time. Mr. Mith even cast spells upon me to lend me strength and speed my journey. He talked of visiting the Soul Mother as if she were a good friend, and this seemed to upset Anna some. Perhaps Anna thought it would be upsetting to me to hear such talk. Perhaps it would be if I had yet to meet the Soul Mother, from what reactions I've seen in those who have.

Taking my leave of them graciously, I continued onward to Hlint where I found Kyle and a friend outside the Wild Surge. We also talked for a short time and after Kyle left I got to know his friend Sa'kura better myself. She has been through tragedies equal to, and most likely surpassing my own. Not only was her mother slain by Orcs, but her village was soon after raided by slavers and I dare not think of what horrors she must have endured in their hands. Thankfully she kept the will to escape and soon after doing so found herself summoned to Hlint. Together she and I went out north of Hlint to slay a few Orcs, and afterward we both retired for the evening. Vengeance upon the Orcs still holds a mite of sweetness for both of us.

I should write also about earlier happenings, before my fateful trip to Dregar with the others. I finally managed to put together a garment made of fine silks. It is a pleasure to wear, and slides smoothly across the skin like the gentle caress of a thousand fingers dancing like swans gliding across the surface of a glass-smooth lake. I also replaced the ragged purple and fuchsia cloth of my chain shirt outfit with new fabric dyed in blues instead. I think I'm beginning to like blue more than before, as all my outfits are blue now. I think Talen will be surprised when he she's me again.

Rhynn is going through trials that I dare not write too much about here, lest those that trouble her use magic to divine what I have written and take action against me. She seems to have become more distant and dark in recent days, and admits to seeking power in order to cause fear in those around her. I fear for her soul and pray that it not be destined for the very evil that she says she wishes to fight against. She is stubborn as an ox, or more so, and would not listen to my adivce with earnest ears. I fear I may have to distance myself from her if her darkness grows further, though in my heart she will still remain a friend, I cannot stomach nor support that kind of living. Perhaps after she obtains vengeance upon Saebhel she will abandon such lust for power and instilling fear in others.

I will need to find some employment soon, or find buyers for the fine garments and jewelry I've made, for I am nearly broke now. I had to withdraw the last of my funds from the bank to return from Point Harbor, and now I cary the last couple hundred gold that I possess upon my person. Perhaps gaining more bounty through the slaying of Orcs and Goblins will again fatten my purse.

I wish Talen were here, just to hold me close in his arms...
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 08, 2006, 07:22:19 AM: Entry 23 - Decilar 10, 1399

I showed Talen my silk outfit that I made for him. It seemed to please him to see me wear it, though our time was oft interupted by his constant disappearing as he does sometimes. I didn't yet get the chance to explain to him the traditions of the Old Culture from which I was raised, so I am not sure if I should hold him to them just yet. I will have to explain to him the next I see him, but perhaps it might be better to let the traditions die and try to live as most of the world do in this area. I suppose I must solve my own internal conflict before I decide whether to explain the traditions to Talen. Still, he did kiss me before he left the last time... But without full knowledge of my traditions how could he have known all that it meant for me? Perhaps I should pack away my courting garb and wait to start the traditions until after he knows their full context. I do not think I will lose him in the mean time, he loves me and I know it well. Once again I've managed to confuse myself and act rashly. At least this time it is with a more positive nature.

Rhynn and Freldo accosted me with more topaz than I could safely carry when I arrived in the crafting house earlier today. They asked if I'd grind it for them so Rhynn would have more to use for her scribing and other magical practices. I did the best I could, given my limited work with topaz, and they seemed pleased with the result, even though I knew that were I more masterful I could have harvested much more dust for them. In thanks they allowed me to keep some of the mineral for myself, but my efforts to cut it were fruitless and in the end I gave them the dust from that as well.

Right afterwards Addison showed up to gift me with more copper than I could carry alone, so I went to the place outside the Wild Surge where I had left Olaf tied and loaded it onto him. Anna met me and decided to come with me to get clay. We went to the lake and started digging together. The first couple spots we dug didn't yield much, but the third seemed nearly endless in it's fruitful bounty. We strained under the weight of our loads back to the crafting house and there I made many molds for rings. Anna watched and we chatted a bit as I began melting down the copper ingots Addison gave me and pouring them into the molds. After which I worked to set each new ring with a gem and produced some nice ones, including one copper and greenstone ring of exceptional quality. I sold one ring I'd made to Anna that should help ward against death magics, she asked me to re-size it for a small friend she intends to give it to.

Rhynn has me so confused now. I wish to continue to call her a true sister of the heart, but she seems to wander so far from me in her spirit at times, and at others she is close as we were in the beginning of things. I hope she resolves her inner turmoil soon, but I have determined that I cannot continue with chasing her down each time her heart seems to stray to darkness any longer. It is too taxing on me to try and offer my words of help only to have them fall on deaf ears that refuse to listen. At least she seems to be listening some to Anna.

On top of it all, I continue to question my own devotion to Toran, or lack there of. I have not seen Maev again for some time, so I haven't had the chance to try to make things right between us. I shall continue to watch for her though, as I would also like to ask her questions about the roots of our mutual faith so I may decide once and for all if I should continue to follow Toran. At least I know for myself I owe Toran, and the kind paladin he sent my way almost a year ago, my gratitude for beginning to pull me from the lifeless wandering I had been partaking of since Erathim's death.

The annual date of my birth approaches soon. It is a scant few days until the 5th of Janra, and I will be reaching my 20th year.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 09, 2006, 09:08:52 AM: Entry 24 - 28 Decilar, 1399

Joy of Joys! My heart leaps like a gazelle over the planes of deepest feelings I have for Talen. I saw him again these past couple days, and this time I was able to explain to him the traditions I follow. What my courtship garb means as well as what his kiss signifies. I explained to him many of the details of the courting period, how neither of us may accept courtings in any form from another of the opposite gender as ourselves. How I must continue to wear the courting garb, except when hard at work. And after all my explaining, after facing his reservations together, he kissed me again knowing the full meaning. He accepted my proposal and one year from this date we are to wed in manner of the traditions of my people!

He was worried at first that a year would not be long enough, as we do not often get the time together that he feels we should, but I asked him if his feelings for me would change in any length of time and he realized as he replied that they would only become stronger. I told him my feelings for him were the same, they would not lessen but grow ever more. He also seemed in doubt of my love for him in regards to my love for Erathim. I explained that I will always love Erathim, but not more than I love him. In truth I love them both, and Erathim's memory will always stay with me. Now I have also the chance for making memories just as beautiful with Talen. Memories just as lasting and sweet.

When he kissed me...I cannot describe it with words but I will give an image with them that is but a pale, shallow reflection of the bright, colorful, vast depths of my feelings at that moment. It was as if the winds stopped blowing, as if the world faded away and my heart was lifted to the heavens above within his embrace. And while I do not follow Ilsare, it seemed almost as if I could feel her blassings wrapped about us carrying us together into an eternity of warm shelter beyond the feeling this mortal shell of a body is capable of. When at last he released my lips to smile upon me so tenderly my lungs filled with the winds of passion drawn from the corners of the world, and I ached for more with every ounce of my soul. My desire for him to accept me as a gift prepared and freely given him, without doubt or reservation, realized in that one fleeting moment. I cannot begin to fathom how sweet our embrace will be one year from now after we are wed, but I tingle throughout in anticipation of that moment oh so holy as it will be!

...And now I must make decisions for the wedding. Tradition calls for a priest of the Old Culture to preside, yet I know that not a possibility, I being now the sole practitioner. In the absence of a priest Talen and I must chose and agree upon a close friend to fulfill that role. As well, we must each sellect one who is among the closest of our friends and of our same gender to bear witness and participate. All others are forbidden from the ceremony. Who among my friends might I chose? I care for them all so deeply, yet they cannot all participate. My first thoughts of who to ask to preside in the role of priest would be either Miss AnnaLee, or Kyle. When I next see Talen I will ask his thoughts of the two and we will decide together and then ask whom we choose if they will accept the role. And who among my friends might I ask to be witness? I am torn... A few weeks ago I would not have hesitated to ask Rhynn, but now she has grown distant and dark. Addison is also very dear to me, and though we do not spend much time together I can feel her friendship and respect for me. Even Ireth has shown herself a friend, though of the three I do not feel as close to her as I do Addison and Rhynn. There is still time to decide, so I'll wait to chose for now.

In other happenings of the day, I spoke for a time with Ozymandius at the Wild Surge. The traditions made our meeting a little awkward at first as I thought with the way he approached me he was going to try licking me again. I had to challenge him as tradition required and found he had no such intent, thankfully. I apologized for leaving from his speaking previously when he had called me 'Tre' or 'tree' as the shortening of my name sounds. I explained I've been on edge lately with everything happening between myself and Talen and that it has always bothered me some to not be called by my full name of Treana. He was understanding as he usually seems to be, though very curious of my traditions regarding the courting between myself and Talen.

I fear this courting period will be rough for me in some ways. Back home, with the courting of Erathim in my old village, most everyone understood and knew of the traditions, so they did their best not to interfear with them... But here in Hlint most everyone is ignorant of them and I fear I will constantly find myself challenging the various men who approach me, and fleeing from their touch as innocent as their intents may be. Yet I am committed to the ways of the Old Culture and wish to see them through to their blessed conclusion.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 10, 2006, 08:48:54 AM: Entry 25 - Sunra, Jenra 22, 1400

Well... Things in my life, though never completely calm, have become at least a little more peaceful. Anna gave me an invitation to her wedding which will be taking place soon. She also asked me to make for her a wedding dress! I feel more honored by this request than any other to date. I must work tirelessly until I've completed something fabulous for her.

On another note, I've talked to Anna about the possibility of her fulfilling the role of the priest at the wedding of myself and Talen. I should really have talked to Talen first, but of all the people I know that we both know well, Anna came to mind as probably the closest. I do not think he will object, but I must talk to him about it for this is something we both agree upon. I still must also decide who to choose as my witness and helper in the ceremony. I wonder also who Talen will choose for his own. I've yet to explain to him fully the details of the ceremony, and I should do that the next I see him as well.

Rhynn and I had decided to go out exploring the other day, as I was restless and lonely without Talen. A paladin whose name is Thomas offered to accompany us. I think he serves Rofiren? I forget for certain though. In any case it did not take me long to come to the conclusion that the real reason for his coming is that he is smitten with Rhynn. This would normally not be my concern, but after he carelessly provoked a band of mercenaries into attacking us all, and nearly killing him I might add, he had the nerve to insult Rhynn's honor by insinuating she had placed her lips upon his to restore his life. The man is either insane or delerious in his fantasy, as neither Rhynn nor I would have touched his lips with our own, to save his life or not. He continued to dishonor Rhynn and I became angered to the point that I was ready to cut his heart out with my blade, with Rhynn's permission and on her behalf, but the coward wouldn't draw his own blade to defend himself! I stowed my blade and urged Rhynn to come with me and leave him behind as I stomped off, but she didn't follow. She seemed frightened, even stunned. I returned and tried again to urge her away from the man. This time she seemed more in control of her faculties, but again she did not follow. I stayed away from them for some time, hoping Rhynn would see the light and leave the man, but she didn't and in the end on my solitary return trip to Hlint I passed the two talking just off the road. Rhynn was telling him of the Horses of Pandemonium, and all that had happened in that season of her life. Eventually, the two of them returned to Hlint and when I thought I had gotten Rhynn alone and away from him for a bit, I tried to speak to her about it. She hadn't even realized herself that the man was trying to court her! How blind that girl can be at times! Thankfully, Freldo showed up soon after our talk, as did Talen. Leaving Rhynn with Freldo I followed after Talen to the Goblin Wastes west of Hlint.

From there Talen and I decided to go hunting cougars, as he explained he needed more of their skins to fashion himself a new set of armor with longer sleeves to protect more against the cold of winter. I gave to him some magical bracers that I had looted from the undead in the crypts and which Rhynn had looked at for me and told me he might be interested in them. They seemed to fit him well as I tied them on for him. Indeed it seemed the bracers even had the power to enhance the surrounding darkness for a short time, which would be handy in times that Talen might require more stealth than his natural ability alone could afford him.

A fine trip we had together. Traveling first to an area near Velensk where we met Ferrit briefly who was also hunting cougar and had gotten there before us. She told us Kyle had not been feeling well and she had left him home to rest, so we wished her well and sent with her our best wishes for Kyles recovery. Then since the cougar had been hunted out in that area for the time being, we set sail to Point Harbor in Rilara. On foot we marched toward Fort Himlad and found two cougars on our way. Talen decided to take me on a detour to see some Rakshasa, or tiger-men as he called them. Unfortunately they also saw us and we fled under the rain of fireballs which seared us badly. After recovering and nursing our wounds, we decided to hunt for panthers, but on the way past Lake Rillon we encountered a White Stag! It was a most beautiful creture and Talen calmed it enough that we could aproach it and even stroke it's soft, silky fur.

Then a vision of sorts filled our minds, of a far off Elven port-city, and a ritual involving a magic arrow. I do not know what the vision means, but afterward Talen had to leave again. I journeyed back to Hlint safely on my own, and that's where I spoke with Anna who was handing out her wedding invitations.

Ah! I've spent too much time this morn writing, and now it is already mid-day! I must get to work on Anna's wedding dress!
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 11, 2006, 09:33:53 AM: Entry 26 - Mulnari, Febra 9, 1400

I was able to get some time alone with Talen, and while it may not have been the most romantic of times for us, I was able to speak more with him about the traditions of the wedding ceremony. He seemed a bit withdrawn as I shared the essential details with him, and I wonder if it is truly right of me to ask him to hold to the traditions which are not hte same as those he was raised with. In any case, we agreed upon Miss AnnaLee as our Speaker and Binder, the role usually filled by a priest for the ceremony. I already spoke with her to ask if she might perform the role if we decided upon her together, and she had said she would. So, I will speak with her again and begin teaching her of the ceremony's rituals. I have also chosen my Witness and Helper. I decided to ask Addison to fill that role and she has agreed to it, without hesitation and even before I explained what it entailed. Even after I explained to her, she was willing to do it. Talen told me he cannot find most of his friends as they have been fary away for a long time now and he doesn't know if they'll return. I told him he must seek them out and chose one, or make a new friend in the time left before our wedding. I am a bit apprehensive of who he may choose, as I do not know any of his friends well and have not met most of them. Still I suppose for as far as the ceremony goes it doesn't matter what man he choses, my love for him will remain the same.

I finished the dress for Miss AnnaLee to wear to her own wedding, which date draws ever closer. When I first pressented it to her, she was not entirely pleased with the coloring, but I was able to quickly re-dye it to her liking. When she saw it next, she was exstatic and happy beyond measure with it. I am glad it pleases her so, for I worked hard in gathering the silk and preparing the materials and even then was unsure of the design of it. I explained to her that in making the garment I tried to copy in some fashions the wedding garb worn by the locals of Hlint that I have seen on occasion since ariving here. Although, the local garb is always white rather than colored. I can hardly wait to see her wear it again on her wedding day. I hope Mr. Mith will also be as impressed by it then as Miss AnnaLee is. On a side note, sometimes my ability to judge a person's measurements by sight alone surprises me. When Anna tried the dress on it seemed to fit her perfectly from the first. Nonetheless, I should ask her if she would like a fitting session to be sure it is absolutely perfect in fit and comfort for her.

Thinking again of Talen, earlier in our time together he was busy fashioning himself a new set of armor. I think I tried his patience to the limit with all my suggestions for the changing of small details and the sellection of colors. He seemed upset enough at one point that he suggested simply discarding the armor he'd worked so hard to put together. In the end though, I think I am pleased with how it turned out, as it looks as though it will serve it's purpose of hiding his form in the wilds and protecting him quite well. I still have yet to fashion for him anything for wearing in more civilized environs...perhaps there is a reason I have not hidden somewhere deep in my mind. Perhaps I've simply found myself too busy of late.

Of Addison, my dear friend, I am worried. She believes her precious Cole may soon die his final death, and she does not think she can go on without him if that happens. I tried my best to convince her that life is still worth living after losing someone loved so dearly, and pointed to my own new relationship with Talen as proof. I am not sure my words penetrated her mood though. She also told me a secret, one which I dare not even write in my journal. I will say that in a way it adds to her burden, but could also be the key to keeping her focused on living should Cole pass away.

I also worry for Rhynn. I have not seen her in some time. Even Freldo was without her pressence when I saw him by the pond in Hlint. I do not know any longer what to do or say around her to bring her back into a proper focus. I'm not sure I could help her anymore even were she around to hear my words and receive my advice. I know what she has told me pains her, from her past with that wretch who was her former master, but what can I do or say to ease those pains when she closes her mind and heart to me and to everyone else? I fear she runs too far from those terrible things of her past, though she in her stubborn way will hold to saying she is confronting them.

Why must things weigh so heavilly on our hearts? Why must each day be such a trial of will and spirit? I ponder these thoughts as I close this book again. I doubt I'll ever find an answer to them.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 12, 2006, 01:01:22 PM: Entry 27 - Mulnari, Febra 23, 1400

Peace. That's the only word for it...maybe two words - True Peace. In my most recent time with Talen things started out rather rough, emotionally speaking but by the time I laid rest to close my eyes there was True Peace. I'll start from the beginning of those last few days.

I woke alone, as usual, in my room in the Wild Surge. Refreshed and ready, somewhat, for a new day in Hlint. My mind was not at ease on thoughts of leaving the room though I knew I must. Clothed in my Courting Garb, I reluctantly made my way to the door and pulled it open to reveal the normal hustle and bustle of a Wild Surge morning. Local patrons sat around tables, some still drunk from the night before, others on their way to becomming intoxicated even in the early hours of the day, and a few who were just there to enjoy the fine breakfast that Yastin is known for serving up. Some of them, like always, turned their heads to see me as I left my room. I could see the lusty looks in the eyes of several men and my stomach turned. Always the same reactions here in Hlint, not like back home where the Courting Garb drew fewer looks. I steeled myself for another day of challenging the local men's attentions and even those of the odd adventurer's and passers-by that often trafficked through the town. Talen was no where to be seen, though with him by my side I feel I could have endured it all without blinking. The stress of each day was adding up. I've begun mistrusting men in general and my first urge on seeing any man save Talen and a few who are close friends is to draw arms and challenge even the slightest stare.

I quickly made my way out into the streets, at least there I was bound to run into fewer drunken men in an impassioned state of mind. I found Rhynn, to my relief, and she pulled me aside to talk for a time. From the look of relief in her own eyes when she saw me, I think she was glad to get away from the man who'd been standing near talking to her when I approached. Perhaps it's just my imagination in the way I've come to view men in general because of the traditions. In any case, I was pleased to hear fro Rhynn that she had decided not to kill Saebhel outright, but instead to capture him and turn him into the authorities while searching to retrieve the soulstone she believes he has of hers. She'd chosen justice over mere vengeance and I told her I was indeed proud of her. She seemed more the Rhynn I had first come to know and grew to love as a sister. We eventually parted ways as I felt the need to collect more silk. Rhynn even generously gave me much silk of her own before I left but it wasn't quite enough to make another silk outfit, and I was planning on making one for Addison.

After collecting what silk I still needed for the outfit I planned to make, I was headed to the crafting house but never made it. I ran into Addison on the way and we stepped aside off the road a bit to talk somewhat privately. She still fears losing Cole, and she confessed to starting to take risks again. I reminded her it was not only herself she put in danger with those risks, but the reminder didn't seem to settle in her. In some ways, I feel I am probably one of the few people Addison knows who can truly empathise with her plight, having lost Erathim some 4 years ago now. But in her situation there are factors I never had to deal with myself. I never had the thought that I might lose Erathim before those final seven days of his life. And Addison carries an additional burden... but I swore not to reveal it so I cannot write about it even here in my journal. She seemed in a weakened state of mind, as though she might go do something very wreckless, so I offered to go with her. Not that I am skilled enough that I could protect her from much of anything we might face. But as friend I felt it my best option to help console her of what her mind tells her of the impending, and perhaps imagined, loss of Cole. What a venture into Roldem and the surrounding land! As I'd predicted for myself, even with the aid of two of Addisons powerful friends, I was slain in battle with Awakened warriors. We were on our return trip from a successful outing to mine platinum, and I guess I must have grown careless. Before I knew it several of the awakened were upon me and I was slain. Fortunately with a soulstone in my possesion I was able to be raised there after the fighting and I did not see the Soul Mother or return to my bindstone. We were so near Roldem, it's a shame I didn't make it through that last fight. Nonetheless the trip proved profitable for me in measure of the queens gold coin and I took home with me just over 1400 of the bright and shiny's.

I headed again to the crafting house upon arrival in Hlint, where upon I stunbled across that oaf of a paladin named Thomas, and Rhynn standing in the street. I drew my blades to chase the man off, and to my surprise, chagrin, and shame, Rhynn spoke up to say that the man wasn't pursuing her favor after all, and was just trying to be her friend. I stormed off in a huff to continue to the crafting house. Rhynn followed close on my heals and caught up with me after dismissing her friend Thomas. I finished cutting the fire agates I'd mined in the trip with Addison and set to head to the tailors table to begin work on the outfit I intended to make for Addison. Rhynn stopped me and cast a spell upon me to steady my hands and aid my work. She was there to comfort me, I guess. So as I worked we talked a bit and I told her of how the Courting Period was beginning to wear on me with all the constant attentions of the local men that I had to challenge. She tried to talk me out of holding to the traditions, but I would have none of that. How could I turn my back upon all those I loved who'd died? The traditions are a part of my way of honoring them and remembering them. She eventually left and I returned to crafting the outift for Addison.

I guess the outfit was not meant to be finished that day. Talen arived at my side unexpectedly as I worked. I was surprised and glad to see him, yet another facet of the trial raged in me. Feelings bottled up for days during his absence fought to seek his embrace beyond what is allowed during the courting period. I trembled at the mere sight of him and when he kissed me it was all I could do to hold the reins of my passion in check. Yet there he stood looking as though he were calm and unmoving as a rock. It was not fair in my eyes! He asked me what was wrong and I began to spill forth all my concerns to him of the trials of the courting period while being here in Hlint. I told him of how Addison's trials were on my mind as well, and I eventually broke down in tears from the flow of unchecked emotions. A short time later after some comforting he asked me to go with him somewhere else, away from Hlint. He lead me to Lelion where to booked passage to the Barbarian Isles. The snow-covered beauty and splendor of the isles is indeed beautiful enough to take one's mind off one's worries, and if the beauty doesn't do it, then the cold will. We ventured about in the snow, avoiding some Gnolls and coming across a white polar bear. Talen charmed the bear as he seems to be able to do with most any animal, and I decided to call it Snowball. With Snowball following along with us we came across a boat at an abandoned looking camp. We boarded the boat and found a landing on another isle, though I think the boatride disturbed Snowball, for he grew agitated enough to attack Talen after we dissembarked. Sadly we had to slay the beast, and Talen was left nearly dead himself. I tended his wounds as best as I could, but even then he was still injured quite badly. Like fools, instead of turning back to seek shelter and wait until his injuries healed, we went onward. It was shortly after that we met our ends at the hands of kobolds. They ambushed us unexpectedly and there was not much we could do to flee. Talen fell first and I quickly after. Returned to the bindstone in Lelion, we decided to forego a trip back to our gravesites in favor of simply waiting out the after-effects of death.

Seeking a place of solitude, Talen lead me to the waterfall near Blackford Castle. This is where that true peace I wrote of earlier found me. We sat by the lake for a time, listening to the rushing water of the falls, and the pleasureable sounds of eachother's voices. Talen cooked up some fish he caught along the way and we dined together, though honestly I wasn't really all that hungry. Then, in the dim light of the fire's last few embers he bit my ear! It aroused me unexpectedly and before I knew it I'd pounced upon him pinning him down on the ground and kissing him with a fiery passion. When I got control again I quickly stood and offered him a hand up as well. He tried to pull me down again, but I resited and pulled him to his feet instead. He asked if we'd violated the limits of the traditions, and we had not. Kissing and hugging are allowed, but no more, and never been bitten before I think it falls into the category of kissing in an odd way. I told him I like kissing more than biting though, if only to stave off a second arousal such as what nearly became too costly. With passions calmed, and after some more talking, he had promised he would be with me more in the coming days, and not so often away. I asked him if we could spend the night there by the falls together. He laid out a cloak for me to sleep on and we soon both drifted off to slumber. In his arms as I began to fall asleep, that is where True Peace found me. My True Peace has found me through just being with Talen, and I will cling to it until my very last breath is drawn.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 13, 2006, 07:35:20 AM: Entry 28 - Tunar, Mar 10, 1400

If a sigh of utter wistful dreaminess could be written I'd write it here today, but often such subtle emotive actions cannot easilly be wriitten in words. No, words cannot express the peace welling up continually like a fountain in my heart. Though if written properly words can give a general shadow of the idea to the reader.

More days pass, and while I still care deeply for those whom I call my friends, the burden of being a friend doesn't weigh so heavilly on me as it oft does. Rhynn, while seeming to be moving again toward the light of what is good, still has some issues. Aparently Kyle has upset her somehow, and she thinks him too quick to judge her. I tried to do good by Rhynn and explain that if she wanted to be judged in a good light, she needed to show evidence of good in her actions and deeds, and her manner. I don't know if she caught the message and it took root in her or not, but I did what I could and I can only wait to see if she choses to embrace the wisdom. It's as the old saying, you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink. I think part of the weight of my burdens I choose to carry upon myself comes from trying to make horses drink, and I think in future I will try less to do that.

Addison, while continuing to take risks, at least seems in a better mood again. I worry perhaps that it's just a well-practiced show on her part, but I will give it time to see what fruit is born of it. At least I know she treasures the garments I fashioned for her, and they have brought a spark of happiness into the darkness that she let haunt her mind. I think in time she will grow to accept that whatever happens to Cole, she must go on living to honor him and the time they have spent together. A seed has been planted and a new tree will bloom in their lives, and I hope to be with them both to see what fruit that tree bears.

I can only call myself fortunate and blessed to have the friends that I do, despite all the problems we seem to encounter in our relations. They are in spirit some of the most giving and generous souls one might ever know, true heros and champions of heart no matter what Ozymandius might say about there being no true heros. We face trial and test of our faith in living together every day, and we all help pick eachother up and carry one another forth out of those deepest pits of despair. So many material gifts have I also been given from these wonderful friends of mine that I can hardly find room for them all. I think I will have to find others who might be able to use some of the things I myself cannot any longer. I hate to part with such gifts that have such sentimental meaning to me, but on the other hand, if I can gift them to someone else who can use them, perhaps that in itself increases their value to both myself and the ones who first gave them to me.

And finally, though it may seem I have been avoiding thus far writing about Talen in this entry, I come to my beloved and our shared love for one another. I save writing of us for last because it is the thing of which I write that has most value to me. My beloved Talen Sgath, who's given family name means 'Shadow' in the tongue of his mentor who raised him from childhood. While many might consider a name like that to have negative connotations, I choose instead to see the good meaning of it that I might find, for I see only the good in my beloved each time we come together with one another. A shadow need not be full of evil foreboding, instead it may shelter one from the heat of a blistering sun, it may hide one from the dangerous beasts that would seek to devour, it can be a quiet, peaceful place in which to rest easy and dream of wonderous things. And when I look at my Shadow, this is what he means to me. This is where my wistful dreamy sighs are born from. He is the shade that cools the firey landscape of my heart, giving rise to life so it may flourish abundantly.

You may be reading this entry some years from now, my child, or curious reader who's stumbled upon this my journal, and you may be asking yourself why this day I chose not to write about the specific happenings of my life as I have written mainly of thus far. Today I choose to write about those soft breezes of emotion that blow across the heart instead, for facts of daily living can become tedious and every so often one needs to soar above them and live in a moment of sheer joy for living. May you find a peace in your own life such as that I have found in mine at the time of this writing. May you also experience the kind of friendships that I have found in those most noble friends of mine, who each yet still are only frail beings in their own ways, but who together in friendship reach to such great heights of triumph. May you realize a full life, despite what troubles you have, and take joy in the wonders of love in all it's forms. These blessings I pray unto you, whether they be the kind endorsed by Toran or not, I want these to touch the hearts of all in this world. Perhaps through living my life I can acheive that in some small measure.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 14, 2006, 09:00:03 AM: Entry 29 - Threas, Mar 26, 1400

Let not my tongue speak of blessings, nor my hand write of times of peace, for each time I do so only brings ruin quickly after! It was Miss AnnaLee's wedding day and at the reception I and my traditions ruined that blessed event. Would that I could turn back the hands of time and choose instead to leave with my dear Talen before such tragedy could befall. Would that the pig of a man who trounced into the tavern had never set foot therein to so boldly challenge my commitment and traditions. Yet still it happened that my honor brought me to draw arms, ye even unto nearly taking the oaf's hand for his advances toward me. Filled with fury that such would interupt the fine reception of my dear friend I am thankful I managed to control the fury and met his wrist with the flat of my blade instead of edge. If but one cut were made, if but one drop of blood spilled then not only would I have failed my friend at her happy occasion, but I would also have failed the traditions that caused me to act in the first place. Why are some men so thick headed they cannot hear even the simplest and most direct declarations with understanding? Did he not hear me say I was pledged to another? And yet the fool made advances, ye even after his hand was stopped by my blade the once he continued to pull forth flowers in his flirtations! I was forced to back out and leave Miss AnnaLee and my other friends there, perhaps to the best after drawing arms on such an occasion. And still, I failed Anna further, for after leaving my mind still raged and I took out upon innocent creatures the frustration that seethes inside me. I've kept their pelts, and will try to make something of worth with them, but they were killed of rage not of need, and I know Miss AnnaLee would be saddened by such more deeply then I can bear to think of myself. I am ashamed, and loath my very being.

When finally my hand was stayed from slaying, I returned to overlook the isle near Lelion, yet still anger burned in a firey conflageration inside me. It was there while I was cursing the names of all men that my dear Talen came upon me. I told him of what I'd done to the cats, and showed him their hides as proof. I could see him saddened, and perhaps angered himself. I continued to be angry even in his pressence and he took it as being directed at himself. Why am I such an unreasonable bull-headed fool at times when supplication is more prudent? Did not a vision of clouds and a feeling of release knock me to the ground, I fear I would have driven Talen out of my life that night. Yet even that brought injury to me as my skull smacked down upon the stone. With unfocused sight and feet that sought to step not where I would place them, Talen lead me to the docks of Lelion and we set sail for Dregar, the port of Hurm. Finding no temple there we set sail again to another port where we did find a temple of Aeridan, and there the clerics were able to mend the injury to my head.

The ordeal had helped me forget the happenings at Anna's reception, and the fit of rage after that drove me after to do horrible things. Talen's pressence with me also continued to sooth my mind, and so we explored the area a bit together. We came across a Tomb of Lost Heroes in our wanderings before we found a portal that returned us to Moraken's Tower, north of Hlint. Tired, nay exhausted from our travels we retreated to the inn where I left Talen and sought the comfort of my room there to slumber.

Perhaps in opening of this journal entry I make larger than life the way of these events, but my feelings of frustration are such that I can scarce help but write of woe. Better too that I write such words in secrecy than I voice them to those whom I call friends, lest I burden them unduly with my own imagined dark view of life. I know in my heart, pleasant times will again come to me and that I am not cursed to live in sorrow and misery forever. Yay, I'm blown upon by winds of everything and moved when such breezes should not stir me. I must learn to take root in that which is the good and solid soil of reason and optimism instead of letting my feelings drive me into fits of anger and depression so often. I must master my heart and bring it to true peace, that is the destiny of my name foretold for me at my birthing by my parents who loved me so. I still must seek out a cleric of Toran and seek their wisdom to learn for myself more fully Toran's will, laws, and precepts for living. Perhaps in them I will find the road to the mastery of my heart.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 15, 2006, 07:25:07 AM: Entry 30 - Threas, Apreal 12, 1400

The fourth month already. The days seem to be flying by while at the same time they drag themselves out from moment to moment. Now only around eight months left until the wedding date. I hope Talen is able to accomplish the things I've asked of him before then. I would very much like to know the meaning of his name, and his original familly name of birth. I know the name given him by his mentor who raised him means 'shadow' in the elven tongue she spoke, at least that's what he tells me Sgath means to his knowledge. But that isn't quite his real name of birth.

On top of that, he needs to pick a Witness and Helper yet, and it seems that we will have to bend tradition a bit to teach Talen's Witness and Helper of the proceedures of the ceremony when he does choose one. Still the part of tradition of bride and groom neither knowing the other's chosen Witness & Helper before the day of the wedding has been oft broken before by anxious couples and is not so vital that it stopped the process. I feel that should he have to tell me who he has chosen, I will tell him that I have chosen Addison to be mine. This is something I hope does not hurt Rhynn too much to learn, I love her as a sister but I love Addison just as much and it has been difficult for me to choose between them for this role.

Talen and I also need to commune together again and choose the new family name for our children, and which ourselves might possibly choose to take upon us. This is a most essential thing that need be done, and also part of the reason I asked Talen to find out his real name and it's full meaning.

I did get some time alone with Miss AnnaLee to explain the basics of the ceremony, and she did not seem to be upset by any of them too much as I explained their meanings as well. She told me a secret she carries, and I was able to allay her fears that it could interfear with the ceremony as it should not do so. I will keep the exact nature of the secret to myself rather than write it here for who knows the hands this journal might fall into with each passing moment of time should it leave my possesion in an untimely fashion? I would not wish Miss AnnaLee or Mr. Mith to be hurt in any way by my own actions or failure to keep what they've confided in me.

Speaking of Mr. Mith, he lead a group of us into some old crypts in the High Forest to face a 'dragon thing'. I didn't make it that far however, and was killed by some black looking puddle of self-mobile slime. At least my former body must have privded the creature a fair meal before it itself was slain by the others as it must have been. I waited in Hlint for my new body to fully come to strength again, and while I waited I spoke with Kyle. He expressed he was worried that he cared too much for a friend, and I explained that caring itself is not a bad thing, but that when our own selfish views of what we believe right are forced upon those we care about it ceases to be true caring. As I've shared with others this day, I told him what Grandpa once taught me. Grandpa taught that all actions and thoughts can be traced back to either love, or selfishness and that it is these most basic of motives that determines whether a deed is done for good or evil. We must each take the time and thought to examine our actions and thoughts to see truthfully their roots, and though it may hurt to see the selfishness behind our actions sometimes, it is better to learn of it and change our ways than to continue on in them in ignorance or denial of our evil.

As a result of my own actions of recent time past, I have examined my heart and found something I must cut out from it. That evil I have found is my hate for Orcs and Goblins. I have learned that not all of them are so evil, and most importantly of all I have learned that I was taking pleasure in causing death, a feeling most definitely not born of love. I will not immediately cease to have a grudge against them all, but I will try to be more open minded and allow them to prove their worth if they at least are not bearing arms agaisnt me. It may be, as loath as I feel to admit, that I might owe the one called Gremlock an apology for my mistrust and ill-treatment of him. I will continue to hold my blade back from him and watch and listen to his interactions with others so that I might better judge. He does seem to be motivated much by greed,a selfish thing, but I have also seen him offer skins of a deer to others to avoid them going to waste which seems an unselfish act.

It seems the sun has risen high and I should end this writing for now to go about my daily routines and find new adventures as well.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 16, 2006, 07:38:35 AM: Entry 31 - Freas, Apreal 27, 1400

Well, it happened that for the first time Talen and I had what could be refered to as a major squabble. We've had minor differences in the past and truthfully this was a fairly minor thing too, but it driven by more anger than any previous I think. What had occurred to set this off was that we had agreed to help Rhynn fetch some malachite from the Sielwood cave, but on the way I had the misfortune of havig to slay three badgers. I'd set out ahead of the rest with Olaf, my ox, in tow. We rounded the edge of the forrest in the goblin wastes and the first of the badgers sprang upon me. I was surprised as normally the badgers do not wander so close to the road. I think they may have been rabbid though, for I'd done nothing that I can think of to provoke them. It happened that Talen came upon me just as I had slain the last one of the three, he was most dis-pleased by the stare he gave me. Honestly, I probably should not have done so, but I was so upset myself at having to have killed the badgers that I snapped at him after trying to explain why I'd felt I'd had to do it. He just kept staring so I went on into the Sielwood to wait for the others to catch up. He came after me and said we needed to talk, but at that point I was in no mood to do so, and I wanted to finish helping Rhynn and Freldo before getting into a long lecturing about why I shouldn't have killed the beasts. I set off grumpilly to the cave and after we got what we'd come for, Talen and I went to the Rangers Vale while Rhynn & Freldo went back to Hlint together. In the Vale, we got into things and tempers flared a bit, but in the end we eventually worked it out before Talen had to leave.

I found out his name of birth and its meaning after our argument. It is Treoraiche, and means leader or guide. I found in what notes I have of Grandpa's teachings that the Old Tongue word for leader is Traeraesh, which is not too dis-similar. I have yet to tell Talen of this finding though, as he has been away since. I also looked up words for the two principals Talen said he values most in life, freedom and justice. In the Old Tongue they are Efloa and Masura respectively. The word Efloa, for freedom, is apparently a derivitive of the word Floa, which means 'to flow', the 'e' in front is repressentative of the word true, so litterally Efloa could be translated as 'true flowing' as well as freedom.

As a reader you may wonder why I'm so concerned with the words and their meanings. The reason simple really, in the Old Culture we believed that a person's name holds their destiny, and as such is very important. The name of one's birth and it's meaning therefore is of great import, and guides one toward what destiny may await them in life. At time of marriage one can chose a new name, and thus a new path of destiny. It is believed thus because at such point the two become so close that their lives bend and change their destinies, they are no longer a single straight line of fate, but a doubled twisting, for a time as well along with any children they may have together. So at marriage, by tradition, one may choose to keep their original name of birth, adopt the their spouses family name, or choose to take on the new family name they decide upon with their spouse for their children. With tradition in mind I have been looking at deciding upon a new name and I will propose it to Talen next I see him. I think of him as my comforting shadow, and so in the Old Tongue I would take on the name of M'Biirzoendaern to replace my name of E'Zoenna. Though if he is not keen on that name, perhaps a name from freedom and justice such as Efloa'na'masura, would be more to his liking. Another possibility I am hesitant to suggest is taking on the name of A'tarohath, which means 'The Pure Seed' and denotes what was once the royal bloodline, but since it would appear I am the last of those of the Old Culture it may be fitting that he and I together start the line anew. I only wish he had been able to find the meaning of his name 'Talen', for then it could help me choose a name fitting with that meaning and with the meaning of my own name.

Enough writing for now I think. I still have to finish scribing the copies of the scrolls which outline the rituals of the wedding ceremony so that all involved will have time to prepare.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 17, 2006, 07:20:12 AM: Entry 32 - Satari, Mai 14, 1400

My time with Talen was short in recent days. He was away quite a bit, and I kept myself bussied mining copper and making jewelry. I also went down into the crypts a few times to curb the numbers of the undead lest they become too many and come out of hte crypts to wage war upon the living.

In my adventures I found some star-dusts of varrying types. One of them Master Ozymandius is very interested in. Interested enough that he is willing to trade two second circle enchantments for the star-dust and an additional 2600 gold. I think it's a great deal, so I decided to take him up on it. If he keeps his memory of it he should have the enchantments ready by the next opening of the Lelion Arms. I'm going to see if I might find some more of that star-dust for him as he also has a pair of gloves that would aid me in combat quite a bit. Though he offered to sell those for 6000 gold, I think I'd rather trade him more dust if I can find it as I need to save up some gold if Talen and I are ever to buy land and build a home somewhere.

I found Addison sitting behind the Wild Surge and we talked a bit. She's told Cole her secret, not that I think it could have been kept too much longer anyway. She said he seemed happy about it, but it didn't seem to me that she was all that happy herself when we were talking. Maybe it is because Cole told her she must give up drinking strong drink for a time. I offered to help her with that order and she gave me her bottle of whiskey to hold onto for her, of course there's nothing to stop her from buying more I'm afriad. I dont' think Addison to be a drunkard who cannot control herself, but I could be wrong. I've seen lives ruined before by a lack of power over the call of strong drink, I don't wish to see this happen to Addison and Cole, especially not with her secret. Talen showed up while she & I talked and she left a little after that to go get rest.

I wish my time with Talen had been longer. We talked of other things and I completely forgot to mention the ideas for a family name I have come up with. He lavished me with more gifts, of sorts, though the badger gloves made from the badgers I slew make me feel a bit uncomfortable. They remind me of something I'd rather put behind me, so perhaps I'll find someone else who might use them instead of keeping them. Though I have to admit they fit well, if a bit snugly, and make me feel a bit impish. He also gave unto me a set of leathers made from the skins of white stags. I asked him how he'd gotten the skins and he told me the stags had been trapped in the cruel traps of hunters and were dying anyway, so he ended their misery and took their skins so that they might serve a purpose in death. I'm assuming he also took their meat and ate it, or gave it to those in need of food. The outfit feels soft upon my skin, and I made a few minor alterations to it, but did not dare dye it. The lovely white of the stags should not be dyed, it would be almost sacrelige to do so I believe.

I also finally bumped into Maev again. I offered her my apology for the way I treated her, and she apologized for having offended me as well. With that grudge now behind us, I hope to again have time to speak with her of our beliefs in Toran. She is not so bad a person, though she is gruff and direct in her speaking and thoughts. Perhaps her mind is hardened by battle and focused only upon serving Toran the way she knows how best. Perhaps too she and I might learn to be friends, if friendship is something we both seek from the other. At least we are not at eachother's throats anymore.

I have not seen Rhynn for some time now. I wonder what she's been up to these past days? I hope she is still continuing on a good path. I care for her well-being.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 18, 2006, 11:30:01 AM: Entry 33 - Tunar, Junar 3, 1400

What a mess! That may or may not be the best word for it, but it suffices in this instance. Traditions...a misunderstanding...a confrontation. A mess.

It started when I met Talen and Mr. Ravenlock outside Hlint. Talen had recently fallen in the goblin caves, probably while there searching for me. I was on my return trip to Hlint's crafting house with practicly double my own weight in copper on my back. Addision also showed up about that time.

I asked for some help carrying some of the weight of the copper, and Mr. Ravenlock was quickest to respond by first casting a blessing upon me which enhanced my own strength, and then carrying what few nuggets were still over-burdening me. I hadn't really expected Talen to respond in his weakened state and I thought it best that he return to his place of death quickly, and since Addison was there I asked her to go with him while Mr. Ravenlock and I went to the crafting house with the copper.

Evidently, my taking charge in the situatation coupled with the fact that a stranger to Talen was aiding me must have given rise to Talen's jealousy or his ire in some way. When he caught up with Mr. Ravenlock and myself after regaining his strength, Talen whispered in question of what the man was doing with me. At the time I replied that he was simply preparing to go with me to get some clay for jewelry molds, which was the honest truth, but I also tried to subtly remind Talen if he thought the man's intentions toward me were to court me, he could offer challenge. Under the traditions this would mean he would most likely only need to warn the man off, but Mr. Ravenlock overheard the word challenge and took it to mean he was being challenged to a duel, as is evidently common among the followers of Vorax such as himself. When I realized the misunderstanding I'd caused, and saw the anger on Talen's face directed at me, I tried to straighten it out, but Talen disappeared leaving me with Mr. Ravenlock.

With his sudden absence I fell to the ground in a sorry state, I don't know how I managed to avoid gushing forth a torrent of tears, but my eyes remained dry. I was shocked and stunned. How could he just leave? I understand he may not have wished to fight Mr. Ravenlock, but he hand't even himself issued the challenge, so he wouldn't have had to after my explaining. I felt betrayed, and for the first time I felt myself wondering about Talen's commitment to me. It seemed to me when Talen questioned Mr. Ravenlock's pressence with me that he might have thought the man attempting to court me. That is the sole reason I brought up the right of challenge, simply because I thought Talen might need to be reminded that under the traditions which were not so familiar to him he could choose to challenge the man. If our positions had been reversed and I thought a woman to be courting Talen, I know I would not have hesitated to challenge her and make known my claim on him. I wonder if Talen thinks me unfaithful, and thus unworthy? I would have spurned Mr. Ravenlock myself if I thought his intent were to woo me.

After some time Talen did return, and we talked more of the misunderstanding. Perhaps we worked it out, but he still seemed angry though he confessed he might have over-reacted to the situation. The feelings of abandonment I felt when he left the first time still haunt me as well. I hope that he will come back to Hlint again soon and that we might share a more peacefull time together.

I'm so confused and hurt right now. I think I'll just stay in my room here at the inn for a few days. I need to decide if I believe his love for me to be true, and whether I should continue to court him. The amount of his anger lately does not sit right with me, though I can hardly say it is not all entirely unwarranted.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 19, 2006, 09:13:13 AM: Entry 34 - Mulnari, Junar 16, 1400

A sigh...That is how I would begin this entry were there a true way to express it on paper in words. Small twinges of heartache still surface at the pain of the last few days, though the wounds are tended and well on the way to healing. Not physical wounds, of course, but wounds of the heart as I had written of previously. The healing bagan I think with a knock on the door from the hand of Lady AnnaLee. She truly is a lady in every sense of the word, and the greatest friend that one could dare ask for.

I had been locked up inside my room at the Wild Surge for days. I fear my outbursts of wailing and tears might have driven a great many of Yastin's other customers away, so I will have to pay him a bit extra to make it up to him I think. Even my friend Nehetsrev was concerned for me a great deal, and he tried himself to comfort me from the other side of the door. I didn't tell him any of the details of what upset me so, but he is a sharp man and guessed enough of it himself. Finally the knock of Anna came and I shouted for whoever it was to go away, but she knocked again and called to me. When I recognized her voice I got up and unlocked the door for her to enter. Locking it again behind her as she did. I don't know why her voice alone reached my heart after the unsuccessful attempts of all others before her. Perhaps I was just ready to begin to move on then.

After we talked a while, another knock came upon the door and I called out but heard no response. I asked Anna to look for me to see who was there but, she saw no one. Perhaps it had been Talen, but I don't know for certain and have not asked him about it. In any event, after that knocking I decided it was tiem to leave the room and go elsewhere, and Anna came with me. I showed her a quiet place tucked away in the Sielwood that I sometimes go to when I need to be alone to think. On the way I received a message by falcon from Addison. The tone the message set worried me some as it made it seem Talen had gone berserk looking for me, and Addison herself expressed her concern for my safety. Anna didn't believe Talen could ever bring himself to hurt me purposely though, so some of my own fears were calmed if only a fraction.

Arriving in my hideaway spot, we sat and talked for a good length and another letter by falcon came, this time from Talen. In it he expressed his wish to apologize to me for the way he'd acted. I showed this letter to Anna as well, and with it came my resolve to give him another chance. I still fear that he will look upon me with such anger again some day, though he has promised he will not. I know too well that when passion's flames ignite under any heart emotions are oft not controlled, be it in love or anger or some confused mix of the two or some other emotions.

When finally my heart had a semblance of peace again, I left the hideaway to perchance meet with Talen and hear him out. Anna elected to stay there behind in the hideaway, enjoying the peaceful solitude of the spot as I myself often do. I think she knew too that this next bit would have to be something I faced alone.

On my way into Hlint a came upon my big friend Cronk, and since night was falling I asked if he still had the dessert first-bloom I'd gifted him with some days past. He simply smiled and pulled it forth saying, "Yep". And then he amazed me with his thoughtfulness by giving me a blue rose. "A pretty flower for a pretty lady", he said with that wonderful half-giant yet childlike grin of his. I took the precaution of letting him know that I was still engaged to Talen, and he allayed my fears that I might have stirred up a deeper love in him by simply laughing and telling me he wasn't interested in me in that way and just wanted to be a friend. I told him I was relieved to hear that and confirmed that it was only my intent to be a friend as well. His flower gave me an idea though, perhaps a little cruel... but I carried it with me as I went to meet Talen.

I chanced upon Addison and allayed her fears for my safety by explaining to her of the letter I'd received from Talen. As the two of us talked, Talen himself arrived and Addison quickly excused herself. Talen asked me to walk with him, and I followed. I took pains to stare rather obviously at the blue rose in my hand that Cronk had given me as we went on out of Hlint to the overlook near Haven Keep. At last we sat together and he began to talk and offer appology, and I could sense his sincerity. Yet cruelly I held the rose in my hand and he asked about it eventually. I told him first it came from another man, and immediately regretted laying such a trap for his emotions when I saw the look on his face turn to utmost sorrow. So I quickly expained how I had met Cronk and gained the flower only through acts of friendship, and that there was no more between he and I than that. I wonder why I had it in me to be so cruel as to lead him to believe for even a second that I had become unfaithful. I feel he truly does love me, and it was but a slip into error brought by confusion and jealousy in a moment that had caused him to look upon me so angrilly days before. In the end, he knew I had forgiven him, and I knew he loved me.

We set out then for Port Hampshire to deliver a package I had that needed to go there. It was as usual a trip made in good company of eachother. I even tried out my new heavy crossbow, and though it worked splendidly it did not feel as right as fighting face to face with my blades in hand. Along our way, after crossing through the dessert, he showed me a place with two waterfalls and a fort on top of a high hill overlooking them. It was beautiful. And then we continued on to Port Hampshire to deliver the package, and after that to Krandor to see if Freya had any others needing to be delivered.

Since Freya had no other packages, we spent some more time sitting by the water's edge there. I told him of the various ideas for familly names I'd come up with, and we chose together to settle on the name of Efloa'na'masura, which means Freedom and Justice in the Old Tongue. One of the names I'd proposed was that of the royal line from my culture, A'Tarohath, or 'the Pure Seed' in translation, but we decided against it. "What better name to start anew the Old Culture under than that of Freedom and Justice?", we concluded. I have not decided for a certainty yet, but I think I may take on the new name myself and become Heart of Freedom and Justice...it sounds a good destiny. Though the destiny of my current name, Heart of True Peace, also is of a wonderful nature. Talen expressed that he would like it if we shared the same name. I hope it will not hurt him if in the end I do not choose to change my name. My love for him will not be any less, and I will try to explain that to him again if it seems he needs ot hear it. I suppose I will not know until the day of our wedding myself, which of the two I will chose. I've even given thought to taking on his name, Sgath, which means 'shadow' in the language it is from, but I wonder that most people might think the destiny of that name too forboding of evil. In my own eyes though I have come to see Talen as my comforting and potecting shadow and so the word shadow does not hold for me a meaning of evil.

Finally, as we neared the end of our talk about family names, a falcon dropped a message for Talen. A challenge from Kinson Ravenlock to be met at the arena in Velensk. Talen told me of it and we went together, on our way stopping at Hlint so he could pick up a shield he'd left there with his ox. While he fetched the shield, I saw Heirophant Rhizome there in the streets and greeted him in wonder. He even remembered that I had been with the Riders at the Great Library when he'd talked to them there some time ago. I feel honored that he would remember one such as myself. I asked him why he was in Hlint, for such a visit from him was unsual there. He stated he was there to cleanse the town's water supply as well as to attend some other business. Talen arived with his shield now in tow, and it seemed that though he'd met Master Rhizome once, he didn't recollect the meeting, though Master Rhizome did. We wished the Heirophant well together and parted ways, determined to reach Fort Velensk for the coming duel.

Reach it we did, at last, and waiting already there was Mr. Ravenlock. My stomach clenched as the two prepared to fight their duel honorably. I feared that harm that would come to Talen and part of me wished he had not gone ahead with the challenge. Though another part of me was satisfied that he was willing to fight to defend our love for eachother, even though Mr. Ravenlock had made it clear that he had no intent to endanger that love. The duel commenced and with each blow that fell on Talen I winced, feeling in my own way pain at each strike. Kinson defeated Talen rather easilly, his skill with axe and the empowerment from Vorax upon him making him a formiddable opponent. I doubt even the two of us together could have stood against Mr. Ravenlock.

A man calling himself Silver was there to watch the duel as well, and afterwards introduced himself. We all talked for a time before my need for rest drew me to lay down in the place of rest provided at the arena. Wounds of the heart are healing, some quickly, others not so quickly. But the love shared between Talen and I seems true and proven again, and this is a great comfort to me.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 20, 2006, 07:11:10 AM: Entry 35 - Tunar, Jular 3, 1400

I feel I should scream! What sheer idiocy some of my closest friends partake of! I do not understand WHY Addison insists on drinking strong drink still. She knows as well as I the effects it can have on an unbornd child, and yet she persists at every opportunity. I can understand her fears of losing Cole...but those fears should not cost so high a price as the life of their child! I've tried all the persuasion I can muster to reign in Addison and her apparent lack of self-control, to no avail. At the Lelion Arms last night I could no longer stand to see her doing this to herself, Cole, and most of all to their unborn child and so I left.

Perhaps I'll get the chance to speak with her again soon, in a more private setting where I can speak more freely to her. If that fails though, I don't know what I can do for my friend short of locking her away somewhere, not that I'd be able to accomplish that.

Rhynn doesn't seem to have taken my words to heart yet either. She will not speak to me since the time I told her not to until she was ready to live again. Each time I see her in passing I want to speak to her, to show her I still care... But, it is because I do care that I have stopped. For all my caring before, when my words would fall on empty ears time and again, I cannot constantly endure such a drain on my emotions.

You would think these same people who helped pull me from the despair of my past would listen well to words of wisdom from a friend, and realize they were doing the same things they helped me to stop doing myself, but nay! No matter how many ways I try to pull them back to hope, they cling to hopelessness like ticks on a hound. Indeed, I do think they feed from it, and the attention they receive as a result. Perhaps when they realize they are exhausting their friends they might turn 'round to face life again as heroes of spirit.

I cannot face these trials on my own...yet it seems most often I do. I wish Talen would be more willing to come with me to public gatherings. His pressence at the Lelion Arms last night might have made the evening more bearable, and at least would have given me a shoulder to cry on in regards to the pain I see my friends inflicting upon themselves and those who care for them.

Perhaps I'll write a letter to Addison, maybe through the written word I can reach her better.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 21, 2006, 08:53:08 AM: Entry 36 - Threas, Jular 19, 1400

There was no sign of Talen these last few days. So soon after our recent fighting and subsequent making up, it is an absence that leaves an empty feeling inside with each passing moment. I know he'll return, eventually, but I miss his comforting presence near me.

To occupy myself while he's been gone, I took a trip with Addison, Freldo, Maev, and a couple others who wear not with us all the way. We ported from Axodeth's home in Hlint to Dregar with his brother Exodus, and traveled across the whole of the continent in about two or three days time, where upon we finally ported back to Hlint after a brief tour of the Hall of Lost Heroes. Along the way we entered a couple mines filled with giants and ogres and collected a hefty sum of gold, silver and minerals. Most important to me though was the experience in battle I have gained along that path. I can hardly wait to go on another such trip.

Poor Maev died twice along the path, but fortunately she was able to be resurrected before we had to continue onward each time. Her skill in battle is something to aspire to, as is Addisons. I still marvel at how effortless and graceful Addison's dance in battle is. One day, perhaps, I will achieve a similar prowess with my blades. Meanwhile, Maev showed the power of Toran well, in both fighting and in healing and blessing. I don't think I feel the call of paladin-ship on me, but sometimes I wonder... I still have much to learn of Toran, and yet have I to track down one of his clerics to answer my plethora of questions. I did learn that Toran has no set amount of tithe, according to Maev, we are simply to give all that which we can afford to. She herself has decided to tithe at least 1000 gold each month, a very reasonable amount I think. Since I have not been tithing yet myself, I have resolved to bring a sizable tithe to the temple of Toran in Fort Llast within the next few days. First I must set my heart right, and make sure I tithe for the right reason, for to tithe simply as duty, or as something expected of one does not sit right with me. I feel that a tithe should be meant as a gift to one's diety, not lightly given on whim, nor given with resentment that one must give, but given because one truly wishes to show their god their respect and admiration, and give thanks for their god's hand in their lives. The amount of the tithe, to be worthy, should also in my heart be an amount not easy to part with, for a tithe is a sacrifice to show one's diety that they are valued more than mere possesions and wealth.

At last, after our trip when we had returned to Hlint we dispersed. I made way to the crafting hall and tried to cut some gems from the minerals I had mined or which Freldo had given to me, with little success. Then I went to the bank and deposited a sum of gold to my account there. I am proud to say my account at the bank is growing quite well, though it is still not enough to come close to purchasing a home. Perhaps in a year or two Talen and I will have enough between the two of us to do so.

After stopping by the bank I went to sit near the pond for a while to relax, and dream that I might see Talen. Instead of Talen however, a drunken man smoking a pipe wandered near me. He gave name of Rain Darsus, and I have not formed an opinion of him yet, but if he smokes that blasted pipe around me again I'll cut it in two. A while later I found, or was rather dragged by Anna to stand near Rhynn and Freldo. Apparently they had found Rhynn was neglecting to eat or drink on her own, and Anna asked me to hold her down for them while they fed her. I care for Rhynn, and at the same time I have been itching for a good enough reason to arise to smack her for her stubborn clinging to hopelessness. This seemed a good enough reason, so I tackled her to the ground with ease, and sat upon her while Anna and Freldo made to feed her. She refused to eat, the stubborn git, so we tickled her a bit. That didn't work either though, but something that Anna whispered into Rhynn's ear seemed to do the trick. She calmed somewhat and I let her up as Anna asked me to. Meanwhile the newcomer to Hlint, Rain, had stumbled upon our odd commotion. He must have thought us all insane, and perhaps we are to some degree. I gave Rhynn a hug, and whispered to her that I still care for and love her deeply. Then with still an urge to whack something to pieces I turned to head into the crypts to destroy a few undead. Mr. Darsus heard me comment on my intent to enter the crypts and asked to come with me. Apparently Erag needed more essence of Lesser Dark Soul and had asked the man to find him some.

Together Rain and I went into the depths of the dead, and we brought forth with us the essence and a small amount of loot garnered from the undead we slew on the way. I still cannot help feeling a bit like a grave-robber when looting their remains, but a girl's got to eat and have money for a roof over her head and other costs of living. At least Mr. Darsus was sober by this time, though he has tendency to rush into battle without first taking stock of his oponents and their positions. His wrecklessness nearly got him killed, but fortunately I had some potions left over from Dregar to heal his wounds. I cannot be too harsh in my judgement of the man, when first I arived in Hlint I also acted so foolishly as to rush into things I didn't yet know I couldn't handle. I have since learned of course that when fighting superior foes it is best to let the more experienced veterans go first to draw their attention and sneak in blows upon the distracted foes a bit later.

Enough writing for now. I need to begin my day's activities, chores, and business.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 22, 2006, 08:04:12 AM: Entry 37 - Threas, Augra 5, 1400

In these past days I overheard Mr. Mith talking with Miss AnnaLee. It sounded as though a great blow was struck against the forces of Sinthrar Bloodstone and another of the Blood Pools was destroyed. Yet this triumph comes with a heavy cost, as most such progress does. Mr. Mith is near his final death, the one from which he will not rise again on this plain, and Anna is heartbroken at he prospect of losing him. I spent some time trying to cheer both of them, and it saddens me that Mr. Mith thinks so lowly of himself that he believes he will end in such a place as the Void for eternity. I tried to instill my own hopes in him and for him that he might instead achieve a better end when the time comes for that final passing. I know Mr. Mith is a good man at heart, for I have seen the evidence through his good deeds, though I am sure he may not always have been as good as he is now.

Is a man or woman measured by the the weight of a thousand misdeeds done in times long past, or are they measured for who they are at the moment of their death? I believe the latter is true, for how else can one find redemption from a life of sins? It would not be just, in my reckoning, for a one who has had a change of heart later in life to suffer in torment of hells simply because of past mistakes when in the end they grasped onto the truth of love and held it dear.

It troubles me that two of my closest friends both stand on the verge of losing the men they love, and that both are with child. I wonder, will their children be born into despair, or will their mothers find strength to summon forth love despite their loss of those whom they cherrish? Anna seems most prone to avoid the trap of depression, but Addison I cannot be certain of. In either case, should they soon lose their loved ones, I will be there to offer support to them to the utmost of my being. Such is the manner of friendship that we put aside our own goals and cares for a time to show love unto those close to us that they might be at peace with life, hopeful and happy.

I have written to the Arcane Alliance, at prompting of Mr. Mith, to request aid in securing the supplies needed to create healing kits for the relief efforts in Roldem. I hope to hear good news in response to my querry, for in their time of need the people of Roldem need friends who can help them regain strength and rebuild their homeland to stand once again on proud feet. In such a foundation of international friendship too, the seeds are planted for a brighter future without the shadow of war with each other overhanging the nations. Now is the time to heal any old wounds between our nation and that of Roldem. Now is the time for our people to show themselves as loving neighbors and friends. A united world may one day defeat the future likes of Sinthrar Bloodstone before they can even get started into their depravity and cause such destruction again. I thank my grandfather for the teachings of tollerance that he instilled within me, to give me the hope of a better world such as this one I write of here.

Perhaps my dream seems too big to you who may one day read this journal if the world is still in such state as it is at pressent when I write this, but it is my hope that perhaps when you read this journal my dreams will be reality, or very close at hand.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 23, 2006, 07:22:17 AM: Entry 38 - Freas, Augra 20, 1400

Yet more time has crept past us. These last few days have not been as prodictive as I had hoped. I've been trying to gather the ingredients for healing kits to be donated to the restoration efforts of Roldem. Unfortunately, my skill is such that when I try to assemble the kits I'm able only to successfully make one or two of each ten I try. I'm afraid I'll have to buy healing kits pre-made at this rate, if only to make sure that the relief gets enough to be useful in Roldem. I'll continue to hone my skills making my own though as well so that one day I will not have to depend upon others to make them.

For a change of pace after my hard work with the attempts at healing kits, Talen took me on a trip with some friends to fight giants in the mountains near Velensk. Maev, Tegan, Ke'Kai, Addison, and Mr. Darsus were those who joined us in this. For a time we were doing well, but then Maev needed to leave, as did Addison, and things got tougher. We still fought pretty good together despite their absence, so we pressed onward. Were it not for a terrible and stupid mistake on my own part, our campaign may have been more successful. I heard the creatures that had been summoned to the field of battle fighting with a group of the giants and thought that the others of the party had also engaged, so I charged forth. To my horror I found that I was wrong, and the summoned creatures quickly fell leaving me to face two giants and a maur. I panicked, and instead of accepting my own death to spare the others, I ran from them and back toward the party. As a result of my foolishness I was not the only one to die, with me through the death void and back to the bindstone in Velensk came Mr. Darsus and Ke'Kai.

Talen came to me in Velensk, and not long after also came Tegan. Talen was vissibly upset by my passing and I think it tore his heart fiercely to see me fall. I tried to comfort him, for I had yet again eluded the Soul Mother by some miracle, but he ended up needing some time alone while Tegan helped me and the others back to our death-sites. I hope he is not away long.

The time of our impending wedding is approaching ever closer, and I do not believe Talen has yet to ask anyone to be his Viza N'Ruvan Min Sata for the ceremony. He will need to do so soon, so he has time to instruct them on the language and tradition as I've scribed for him in the scrolls I made. I must also find time to go over the ceremony's details with Anna and Addison so that they may better know their parts for it. There are but four months left in the time of courting, and then on the 28th day of the 12th month Talen and I will be wed, hopefully. I have decided I will take on the name Talen and I have chosen for our family. I will become Heart of Freedom and Justice, or in the Old Tongue, Treana Min Efloa'na'masura.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 24, 2006, 07:25:26 AM: Entry 39 - Satari, Seplar 7, 1400

What new things happened in these last days? Let me think. Well, I saw Talen for a brief time. He came to Hlint to rest for a little and report that he'd seen a demon in Rilara. I think it was Rilara anyway, near some apple orchard there. Then he was gone again, probably to go keep an eye on the thing and make sure it didn't get out of control.

I tried comforting Anna regarding Mr. Mith and his nearness to his final death. I just don't seem to be finding words of comfort much anymore though. I also tried to comfort Kyle some when Anna & I found him upset about Ferrit being accosted by the Soul Mother for a third time. Then there's that Rain fellow... He's had tragedy in his life much like my own, much like that of many of us Dragon-called, and he's still got his head in teh ground mourning his loss. I can't say I was any better when I first arrived in Hlint. Juggling ogre's! I'd say I was even worse off than he. But again, I just can't seem to find words to lift the spirits from those depths. I'm sure, with time, he'll find a way to move on and live again. Being a zombie of sorrow and woe just isn't worth the un-living of life.

While talking to Kyle and Sa'Kura, I found out about an odd wedding tradition of these parts called a 'bachellor party'. I tried to understand it's significance, but it doesn't seem to have much real meaning like most traditions do. It's mainly an excuse I guess for the menfolk to get drunk together 'one last time' before the groom marries on the next day. Perhaps it simply doesn't make sense to me because in the traditions of the Old Culture it would be deeply disrespectful of either bride or groom to show up to the ceremony drunk, or hung-over. I'll have to talk to Talen about this odd tradition to find out more I think, and to make sure he has no plans for such an event prior to our wedding. It's hard to believe that in only about three months time now we will be having our ceremony. I hope he's picked a Viza Na'Ruvan by now. It really shouldn't be put off any longer if he hasn't yet done so, not with the training in the Old Traditions that he'll have to teach them and that I will have to teach him for the ceremony.

Time for more work. I'll have to gather more silk for making slings for the relief effort. I might even try fighting the ettercaps and spiders for some if I can't find enough elsewhere. If I decide on that though, I'll be sure to take with me a couple strong friends. It would be too risky to try on my own.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 25, 2006, 07:30:38 AM: Entry 40 - Sunra, Seplar 22, 1400

A little sleep, a little slumber, a little laying of the head to rest, and now I am awake again and writing in this journal. It's been another few days in the lands and I've been busy with just living. I managed to make a few more healing kits for the Roldem relief, as well as some new cloth slings. I donated them all, along with some other things I'd picked up, to the relief efforts when I went to the Freelancers for storytelling night.

After the stories were all told and the small crowd dispersed back to their own paths, Anna and I stayed at the Freelancers for a bit and chatted. Eventually we returned to Hlint whereupon we found Talen, and I was overjoyed. He was covered in blood from a few small wounds and Anna rushed forward to tend them, but I in my enthusiasm to see Talen also rushed forward to give him a big hug, despite the blood. We went and sat by the pond for a bit to talk and snuggle, and then after a time we went to help Mr. Darsus recover at his deathsite as he had died in the Red Light Caves and came to ask our aid. After that, it wasn't long before my beloved Talen expressed his need to leave once more in the morning, so we spent the night sleeping underneath the stars together at the campsite just outside town.

I've found that with my new helmet I can much more easilly take on foes that used to send me running. I'm even able to best the spiders and the ettercaps that often congregate near the entrance to the Sielwood caves. I'm not getting overconfident though, and still try to draw off only one or two foes at a time if I can. Perhaps though, I can try anew my efforts of mining copper in the Sielwood cave without too much trouble from the kobolds. Of course, as long as Karana keeps me well supplied with it at such reasonable prices I guess I really don't need to. Still, it would be nice to be more self-sufficient in mining ores and smelting them into ingots on my own, especially if I can start crafting weapons and armors.

Well, time to go again for now. I have some goals to reach in my progress toward becomming a master tailor and jeweler and I will not reach them if I don't get busy.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 26, 2006, 05:43:05 AM: Entry 41 - Sunra, Oclar 8, 1400

Time is slipping by quickly once again. With near only two months before our wedding date, I think both Talen and I are growing a little restless in our waiting. The other day we went into the Grey Peaks, just the two of us. Talen fell to an ogre, and I myself had to flee with the last of my strength. I ran as quickly as I could to a place of comfort, the waterfall near Blackford. Talen found me there, in his weakened state from his death at the hands fo the ogre. I was afraid, and heartbroken for him. In my moment of weakness I despaired so that I chose to remain behind while he went alone to his death-site to recover. A while passed and I could bear my cowardice no longer, so I ran to the base of the mountains, hoping to catch him on his way. To no avail, he'd already passed beyond the border of the lands guarded by the ogres and I was left to wait for him there. In time he appeared again in my sight, wholly restored and grinning with his boyish grin. My heart rejoiced at seeing him so. After we returned to the campfire outside Hlint to rest a while together, neither of us speaking much to the other. Finally, I drifted off to sleep in his arms. He is gone again, I discovered upon waking, not unusually.

Other things of note that occured these last days, before the trip with Talen, include the purchase of a used iron chain shirt from Freldo. I have of course replaced the worn and turquiose fabrics of the thing with new ones more stylish, as well as altering the chain portion to better fit myself. I will have to show Freldo what real fashion should look like the next I see him. I also donated several more items to Roldem's Relief. Jennara even gave me some raw materials others had donated and I worked them into finished slings and a pair of leather boots. As I went back to the wherehouse of the Freelancers that Jennara had brought me to earlier, looking to find her there and give her the finished items for the Relief as well, I found the door locked. I knocked and after a moment it opened, so I assumed she was still within, cataloging items as she told me she might be. However, upon entering to look for her, I found the place empty. I turned to leave and as I headed toward the exit, a man of the Freelancers guild came into the building. He thought me to be a thief I think, even after I explained how I had come to be within the structure. He sent me out with warning that he would check into my story and talk with the founders about me. I suppose I am fortunate he did not immediately go to the local authorities. After leaving, I found Jennara near the bank and gave her the items I'd made, explaining what had happened at the Freelancers storehouse when I went looking for her there. Eventually the man from the building found us and apologized to me for treating me the way he had. I took his apology and told him that if our situations had been reversed I would certainly have acted in the same manner, and that it was nothing for him to feel badly about.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 27, 2006, 08:33:42 AM: Entry 42 - Tunar, Oclar 24, 1400

I do not want to write today. However, I will force myself to write anyway. In an expedition to kill a bugbear captain that was organizing bugbear forces near Point Harbor, I fell in battle and I felt the terrible happen for the first time. The Soul Mother ripped from me a bit of my spirit. I still feel a terrible hole inside, an emptiness that seems as though it will never be filled. When it happened, in that instant the pain, or feeling of tearing (it's impossible to describe properly in words) was so great I heard a scream and at first didn't even realise it was my own. It was almost as though I had been wrenched from my body a split second before death, so quickly it happened. And then, moments later my consciousness returned to the world at the bindstone in Point Harbor. I wandered, zombie-like, back toward the place of my dying though I vaguely remember my first attempts to return were thwarted by the bugbears and I was forced to retreat. Someone must have made me invisible then, for I wandered a second time to my death-site and made it without being seen by the bugbears. After that I don't know exactly what happened, but that even returning to my grave didn't fill the empty space in my spirit that I feel now. Eventually I found myself standing in Hlint again, a day or two later. I had dim recollections of wandering to the High Forest to gather aloe and being litterally smashed to a lifeless pulp by the treants. It took a second death to make me realize I was still alive, though missing that fragment of my soul that the Soul Mother had taken. Elladan helped me to my place of death this time, and together we fought the treants and claimed some aloe. I will not tell Anna of that, I know it would hurt her to know I fought the tree-men. The people of Roldem need the healing kits I can make with the aloe though, and though I would rather not fight the treants to get it, they do not seem to wish to allow me to take any for even such a noble cause.

Yet my dying was not over for this period of days it would seem. After attending the night at the Lelion Arms, and buying there for myself some new jewelry, I left with Mr. Darsus as he asked me to show him how to fight ogres and other things. I took him to a place outside Fort Llast and we fought a couple of the ogre berserkers in that area. They proved a bit too tough for one of my skill, and we were forced to retreat after slaying them in order that I might rest from my injuries. I decided perhaps that the ants near Port Hampshire would be better foes suited to the skill of Mr. Darsus and myself, so we set off that way instead. Stopping at the inn in Fort Hope I rested some more to finish restoring my energy. As we made to pass onward to Port Hampshire from there, three griffons dropped from the sky upon us. Normally they do not give me so much trouble, but this time I just couldn't seem to make my blade connect as they lanced at me with their sharp and hooked talons. I fell beneath their blows even as I hear Mr. Darsus calling me to retreat. Moments later I found myself weak from death yet again, and back in Hlint. I elected to wait out the effects of this passing rather than make the long journey back.

So, I sat down by the pond and waited. Anna found me there and we whiled away the time talking. Eventually Mr. Darsus also found his way back to Hlint and joined us there. Then Rhynn came into town, something seemed to be troubling her, so Anna and I asked what had happened. She told us that Thomas had kissed her! In that instant I was ready to find the man and castrate him for dishonoring her so! He knows her heart belongs to Freldo and yet he persists to court her! He lied to me in telling me he only sought her friendship! He is undeserving of the annointing of a paladin, and I will file a grievance with the church of Rofirein for his transgression against their own code. A paladin of Rofirein should never lie. I will speak first to Jennara of this, to find out the proper way to submit my complaint. This lecherous one should be stripped of his annointing and I mean to ensure it is done, and failing that I will see to that justice is served in some other way if I must.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 28, 2006, 07:11:06 AM: Entry 43 - Wedlar, Novlar 11, 1400

What things of significance to write of today? Well, to start with I will write of a minor victory of a personal nature. I returned with Addison and a large party of other adventurers to Bear Island near Point Harbor, to overcome my fear of meeting the Soul Mother a second time. There we did battle with the very bugbears that had sent me to see the Soul Mother only days ago, and we were victorious, though one or two of our number fell. I myself stayed alive through it all this time round, much because of the aid and good example of Addison. I don't know why, but I seem able to keep a clearer head during battle when I am with her, and I make fewer mistakes.

Prior to leaving Hlint to head to Bear Island, I came across that no-good lying lech of a man who soils the name of Rofirein in disgrace. The paladin Thomas, and I think him not worthy of such title or annointing, continued to lie bold-faced to me in saying that he did not seek to court Rhynn but instead only wished her friendship. How this worm can continue to allow such untruth to roll off his split tongue and have good conscience and favor of his god is beyond me. Rhynn herself has told me of the way he kissed her, though he says he kissed her like a brother kisses a sister. I very much would like to give in to my urges to castrate the fool, but the laws of the land, and of Toran whom I serve in my limited knowledge, stay my hand from action. Rhynn told me that she has told Freldo of the matter with Thomas, and that together she and he plan to deal with him. This is a good thing, whould it come to pass, for by the ways of the Old Culture it is their right to confront such a lech as would try to come between them.

Enough ink wasted on that scoundrel. Let me return to things more worthy of my time. After our victory at Bear Island, Addison and I joined with Ketil' the dwarf and had our own trip to Dregar. Along our path we met a sorceror whom Addison introduced as Kavil, the greatest sorceror in all the world. He denied such acclaim, but I must confess his spells made me feel almost invincible while we all fought the giants together. He seemed quite impressed with my own skill at digging clay, and I dug quite a bit of it for him. Going into the caves of the giants we successfully came out with more gems and loot than I could carry well without the magic aid of Kavil's spells. Among our loot was a pair of blue suede boots that I had found in the possesion of one of the giants. They looked very comfortable, and Kavil said they held some impressive magical properties. Wish that I had been fortunate enough to win the draw for them as we split our takings, but that honor fell to Ketil', and he seemed quite pleased to receive the new footwear. I truly hope they serve him well. Perhaps one day I'll find another pair for myself.

To bring the great string of recent days to a wonderful close, I spent more time in the company of my beloved Talen. Together he and I aided Mr. Darsus in retrieving a lost necklace in the Sielwood caves, though I find the venture itself rather insignificant. It was the time spent by Talen's side which lifted my spirits further into the heavens that I truly treasured from those moments. I walk now, this new day, leary of what step I might take the could send me plummeting downward to earth again. I hope this feeling of floating on air never ends though.

Oh! I should not forget to mention, before the trip to Bear Island with Addison, I had a very successful venture into the Haven Mines with the Pandorns. Kyle and Ferrit are both such good people, and I'm honored ot call them friends. Though, admittedly my relationship with Ferrit is still rather a distant one. I wonder if she feels me to be imposing upon her husband? I hope that isn't her mind, for though I care for Kyle as a brother and close friend, my heart and passion lies with Talen. I shall have to try to grow closer to Ferrit as a friend. I think the two of us could get along quite well together once we're passed the formal barriers we each tend to pressent socially.

Lastly, a sad bit of news discovered over breakfast with my friend Nehetsrev. We were discussing our normal business dealings when I overheard mention of the name of Cole. I stepped to the next table and inquired further to learn that it is rumored that Cole Norseman, Addisons beloved, had fallen at last in a battle with trolls. I hope Addison hasn't gotten wind of the rumor yet, as I wish to be there for her when she does. I don't know if she'll even believe it though, and I suspect she'll wish to go look for his body herself to confirm it. My worst fear is that upon hearing the tale she'll go off on her own foolishly risking her life and that of her unborn child, Cole's child. I scarcely knew the man myself, having only met him once or twice, but in those meetings he showed his greatness of spirit and heart. It is no wonder that Addison loves him as much as she does. Maybe the rumors aren't true at all, and it is that hope that I will cling ot along side Addison until we see with our own eyes his remains if they are to be found. If he is passed for the final time, we need find those remains and bring them to a place where he may rest in peace. To leave them in the lands of the hands of those who may have slain him would be without honor, love, or compassion.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 29, 2006, 06:27:28 AM: Entry 44 - Wedlar, Novlar 25, 1400

Addison is riding between extremes of emotion now. The death of Cole, now more a solid fact than speculation because of his long absence and the rumors that bear witness to his end. She goes from showing forth that strong face of determination and resolve to breaking down into tears and repeated attempts to end her own life. I don't know what to do for her other than try to comfort her and simply just there at her side.

Together with Rhynn, Freldo, Talen, Addison, and myself we had planned an expedition to search the areas Cole is rumored to have died in. Addison feels it important to find Cole's blade 'Wicked', and having had Erathim's blade to comfort me in my time of grieving, I can understand why. I also do not feel well that such a great heros remains should be left to rot, but instead they should be found, returned, and given a proper burial. But I digress, for I meant to write about our ill-fate expdition and what happened, more than the why of it that we undertook it.

As we set out, Addison had a fit of emotion and charged blindly ahead of all of us, seeking ot have her own life ended by giants. It was all I could do just to try keeping up, and aside from that Freldo and Rhynn were fighting amongst themselves for some reason or another. At last, after a beating from the giants Addison collapsed to the ground after felling the last of their group and I came upon the scene. The others caught up as I tried to comfort her. Having calmed her finally to a point of reasoning, we waited until last of all Talen caught up and then we decided to press onward in our trek. So it was into the woods we went, and almost as quickly both Rhynn and Freldo were taken down in our first engagement, Talen nearly died as well, but I managed to tend his wounds in to prevent his death. So, the three of us remaining turned about and set our feet to return to Pranzis. None of us being a cleric, Rhynn and Freldo could not be raised.

Back in Pranzis, Addison received a letter via falcon and explained she must depart quickly and alone. She thrust into my hand the key to a home so that the remaining four of us could return to Hlint after Rhynn and Freldo secured their graves. However, Rhynn and Freldo continued to fight amongst themselves, so in the end it was only myself and Talen who used the portal back to Hlint.

My blood pumping with need of adventure yet, Talen and I set out on our own journeys, first collecting corn near Port Hampshire, then heading to Rilara to explore and find almonds. We found the almonds, and the giants who guarded them. They proved to be a bit more of a match for us together than we were ready for, so Talen stuck to sneaking about in order to gather the almonds he needed, while I waited far off. Then we traveled further until we came upon a cave filled with kenku. Near there Talen gathered some Angelica leaf for me at my request. We parted ways for a time after that to find rest, and so that Talen could run an errand of some sort that he needed to do.

Finding myself alone I sailed to Port Hampshire from Point Harbor. With the single intent of practicing my sword technique upon the many giant ants that plague the fields there I set about doing so. As I fought, weakened by the venom of one of the ants, Beli the dwarf came upon me and assisted me in putting odwn the last of the group of ants I'd been fighting. As I made slowly my way to the Inn, he talked me into going hunting Manticores with him. Being the brave and often foolish woman I am sometimes, I followed him to battle against the beasts, where we quickly met our ends. I learned the valuable lesson that Manticores are not beasts to be engaged lightly, despite Beli's assuarances that normally he can take them on his own and that with the ais of another it ought to be easier. It is fortunate that as Beli returned from where he was bound in Hlint that he brought with him several others, for the manticores seemed content to drool over my gravestone for the entire time I waited. Having recovered my grave after the manticores were slain, I set myself back to the task of practice against the ants.

Talen joined me not long after and I finally gained the insight to be able to apply the enchantments I'd traded with Ozymandius for some months ago. Now each of my rapiers glows with a magic power, one with that of cold, and the other with that of lightning. With enchanted blades in hand, talen and I made ot return to Hlint, meeting Addison on our way through Fort Hope. She offered to allow us use of a portal within the Crimson Shield guild hall, and we accepted since doing so would shorten our trip considerably. After reaching Hlint, Addison parted from our company and Talen and I set to gathering elderberries in the rolling plains east and north of Hlint. Sensing Talen to be in a foul mood, I pressed him for the reason and he revealed to me he owed a debt of two-thousand gold coins and that a certain amount of resentment toward myself had built up throughout the day as I seemed to be collecting much of the gold from our fallen foes. I offered to give him the coin he needed to pay his debt, but he refused to accept my offering, wishing not to bring his debt into our coming marriage or our current relationship I would guess. I understood his need to resolve the debt on his own, and to assist him in doing so I began to refrain from gathering bounty from our fallen foes so that he might more quickly realize his goal. At last, as we made to return to Hlint and rest from our hard work, Talen lagged behind and was beset upon by a large group of kobolds in his weakened state. I heard the sounds of fighting behind me and rushed to aid him, but I was too late. He fell to their attacks of magic and I had no bandages to apply to his wounds even after slaying the last of the kobolds. I waited at his gravestone for him to make his way back from the bindstone in Hlint, and my sorrow for his passing washed down my face in tears until his return. With my helm to cover my face, I'm sure he did not see those tears, and I put on a steady voice to keep him from concern. We said goodnight at the inn a short time later. It pains me to see him pass each time it happens, as I am sure it pains him to see the same happen to me. Yet neither of us can put aside our needs for adventure, the call to action is much too strong for us to ignore. I sometimes wonder at the pain our future together might hold, and whether one of us will be left behind by the other, as has happened to Addison and Cole, and may soon happen to Anna and Mr. Mith. Surely the joys of love outweigh such pain, but they also make the pain far greater when it comes.

Toran preserve us all.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 29, 2006, 11:55:04 PM: *the script of this entry is written in much looser, sloppier letters. Someone who studies handwriting might guess that the writer was inebriated when this was written*

Entry 45 - Mulnari, Decilar 9, 1400

I left Talen in the Sielwood. I've ended the courting, and left my courting garb at his feet. I still love him, and it pains me greatly, but I do not think we would have flourished together after all. I expect too much of him, and he cannot give it. Perhaps I am too stubborn. Still, his anger flares so often, and it takes all my energy to drag out of him the reasons why sometimes. I cannot endure always being the one to do the soothing, to fix the problems and relieve the burdens. I need him to do that for me as well, but he seems not to know how, and admits such. Perhaps we moved into things too quickly. Perhaps a true love between us was not meant to be. Perhaps what he says is true and the secret mission he has been on when he's away is the root of our problems, causing him to be angry in my pressence whenever he thinks of it. Maybe we can start again, maybe not. For now though, there will be no wedding. Better to delay another year, or even a decade, than to make such a great commitment in error.

I can feel the crying getting ready to come now. I haven't shed a tear yet, but I will when I finish this writing. Floods will come.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 31, 2006, 09:30:05 AM: Entry 46 - Sunra, Jenra 1, 1401

The time of my wedding day has come and passed, though there was no wedding. Talen and I have made our amends, but we decided together to wait until we were both sure things would work out before we wed, and consequently before we begin a new year of courting for the wedding once we do decide again upon it. Time seems to move so quickly when we would wish it to slow down and allow us to properly live, and then when we wish for it to fly past so we can enjoy the days we anticipate most it taunts us by crawling more slowly than a snail.

The traditions demand a year of courting, or engagement as it is termed by most, and I have already waited through that term once only to depart from it mere days before it's conclusion. Yet, it is better to wait another year or more to be sure of our love than to commit to a life with one whom I do not love fully or who does not love me fully. In the Old Culture, marriage once done is binding and cannot be undone except in the case of severe abuse. Unlike much of the world, divorce is not a part of our culture, for in our ways a promise must be kept when given, even to the result of our own discomfort or loss. It pains me, but it is better we wait before making such promises, in case we would find we cannot keep them.

I spoke with Jennara about some other matters that weigh upon me to some degree. The efforts to collect things for the people of Roldem are to be drawn to a close soon, yet donations have not nearly reached the goals needed to make a significant impact in the lives of most of those in need. I do not understand why so many have done so little to ease the suffering there, and in that way to also strengthen the bonds between our nations. I must confess, I have not myself worked tirelessly day and night to make things for the relief, yet I have toiled for a good amount of time and given many things even at cost of much of my own wealth. I see the importance of this effort and I do what I can to a point.

Jennara also spoke with me regarding the investigation of Thomas, the paladin of Rofirein whom I believe to be lying to myself, and to Rhynn, and to many others. Jennara spoke to Rhynn about the man, and she evidently told Jennara she does not believe my suspicions true, but I feel Rhynn is only saying such to cover for him and protect him. Jennara agrees with me that it needs to be seen if Thomas is indeed lying, for a paladin to do so soils the name of Rofirein as they are to be truthful in all things at all times. If I have made a mistake in my own assumptions, then I will apologize to Thomas at the end of this.

There is more I could write of, much more that has come to light in these last few days. I found out that Kyle was who Talen had chosen as his Viza Na'Ruvan, and it shed light on a great deal of the manner in which Kyle had been acting around me lately. I can only think him the truest of friends for his resolve to see Talen and I happilly married even at risk to his own good conscience in some ways. I can only imagine how hard it was for him to agree to the role. I hope that Talen does not ask him again to fill the role when we finally decide to wed, yet neither can I influence Talen's choice of Viza Na'Ruvan in any way as tradition does not allow it.

What more can I write of? Much more, but I will refrain for there is much I must do today and the hour is growing too late.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 01, 2006, 07:57:05 AM: Entry 47 - Sunra, Jenra 15, 1401

A new month and a new year to start things off fresh with, in a manner. Though in reality nothing is much changed from the last day of the previous month and year. I spent the first 4 days of the month gathering supplies for and making various items to donate to the Roldem Relief efforts. I made several sets of boots even, and had to kill a few deer to do so. I'm not sure Talen would approve, but the need of the people in Roldem is too great for me to ignore, too great for my dislike, and Talen's, of killing deer too allow the suffering in Roldem to go on. Other things I was able to make were a number of cloth slings, and cloth robes.

On the 5th it was the anual date that marks my birthing. I am now twenty-one years of age and it's been about 2 years since I was called to Hlint. I spent almost the entire day with Miss AnnaLee at the Freelancer's in Point Harbor. She was tending bar there, and apparently there was some secret meeting going on involving Quillwem, Seteece, and a strange man I've not seen before. Normally I wouldn't have bothered taking much notice, but I heard the words 'Black Pearl' and remembering the letter Talen had shown me the night we had our fight I recalled the letter had been signed by someone as 'The Black Pearl'. I wondered if the two instances were related and even tried to hint to Anna without giving too much away that I thought it was something to do with Talen's secret mission. After some time the stranger finally left.

In honor of the memory of Cole Norseman, Quillwem and Seteece had told Anna to give free drinks to everyone who might show for that day. I was proud to drink in memory of Addison's lover, in my own view her husband though never formally married. I only met him a few brief times, but I know he must have been a great man to have won Addison's heart so completely. It seems, like myself, Cole had good taste in drinks and prefered Xeenite Wine, so that is what I chose to drink. I also had a piece of rhubarb pie to celebrate my birthday, which Seteece also told Anna to give me freely. I was thankful for the generosity, even though in the Old Culture we did not exchange gifts for birthdays, but instead we celebrated mainly by reminescing together about the past year. Beli Tenker showed up at the Freelancer's too, and surpried me as he'd come in under a spell of invisibility. Aparently he hadn't a dispelling focus of his own. When he learned it was my birthday he gave me a Dessert Firstbloom flower, and I thanked him for his generosity as well, giving him a hug that caused the Dwarf to blush. It's refreshing to not have to be so cold towards my friends who are men, for a time at least until Talen and I begin courting again. My heart is still faithful to Talen of course, and I do not seek a different man to love.

After my birthday celebration, as quiet as it was, Anna and I ported back to Hlint together. We ran into Ash who joined us for a time while we sought out some aloe and tried to find where catnip grows. From what both Anna and Ash seem to recall, there may be some in an area near Velensk. Perhaps when next Talen and I are together we can look around there if he still needs some. In any case, eventually Anna decided to retire to her place in the High Forest, and Ash and I traveled together until we ran into Kyle just outside Hlint's east gate.

Later, I ran into Silool. We had a talk and I gave her a special task. It'd been so long since we'd last met, nearly a full year, and we tried to get caught up. Oh, how she can talk! At times I'm hard pressed to get a word in edgewise, even when she's paused to ask me a question. It's quite entertaining and a little annoying at times, but I like her anyway. While we talked Mr. Ravenlock wandered up and joined the chat for a brief few minutes before Talen himself appeared. Silool is quite perceptive, and she left along with Mr. Ravenlock, to give Talen and I a bit of private time together there near the pond.

Talk we did. In hushed whispers I asked Talen to tell me more about this mysterious mission he's been involved with. It seems even he doesn't know who the 'Black Pearl' is, but I told him of what I saw and heard of the meeting at the Freelancer's, not that I knew much to tell. He did say if I wanted to know more about his mission in Karthy that I should also talk to Miss AnnaLee, and Starr Saphire. I don't really know Mr. Saphire well, so I asked him to make sure Anna knew she could talk to me about the mission so that she wouldn't feel she had to withhold too much from me. I hesitate to involve myself too much further in this secret mission, but at the same time I can't help but want to know what dangers my beloved Talen is facing while he is away. Indeed, I even yearn to be at his side while he is facing those dangers, though I know that likely isn't possible.

I think I'll make a new set of Courting Garb in the next few days. I wish now that Talen and I hadn't had our problem before our wedding was to happen. If we hadn't I could be wrapped in his arms now, instead of wishing I didn't have to wait for another year to pass before we can wed. I should have given him more time to grow, and been more reasonable in my own mind for his actions. Still, I suppose, it is better we waited to find out our love for eachother is true. Better than wedding only to find we did not love eachother as fully as we thought.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 02, 2006, 09:04:10 AM: Entry 48 - Tunar, Febra 3, 1401

The Soul Mother again took a piece of my soul. I was with Talen, and a few others, exploring an area in Rilara where there was supposed to be a cave where one could gather silk. However, outside the cave guarding the way to it were large blue snakes. These snakes proved to be extremely venomous and killed most of our party within just a matter of moments. I fought when I should have ran, having seen m'lanna Talen in peril. However, the death resulting from stayong to fight was not the one on which the Soul Mother visited me. No, I was twice the fool. We returned to try to claim our graves, but the snakes were guarding the way to them. I heard a voice in the air, it told me that the way was clear to our graves, so trusting and stupid as I was I went forward not even seeing the snakes until they were upon me. I found out later the voice I heard belonged to Dur'Thak's familiar, Nyx, an imp. I should never have trusted an imp, but by then it was too late, and I caused my own death as well as those of several others, and that's when the Soul Mother tore out another piece of me. I feel even more empty within, the hole grows larger.

We set foot and sail back to Port Hampshire, Talen and I. We went to another cave between there and Fort Hope, the one that is filled with beholders, stone golems and dire spiders. There we found a little more silk and I collected many venom sacks which I intend to provide to Bumblebee for his practice. After our venture there, we met Addison in Fort Hope and she allowed us to portal from the hall of her guild back to Hlint, saving us a bit of a walk. I let Talen go ahead while I stayed behind to talk with Addison for a short time. She seems much more stable now, though she still mourns Cole and grieves his passing with all her heart, but she doesn't seem to have the drive to end her life anymore. Perhaps she will be alright again in time, I certainly hope so. I would hate to lose her, perhaps even as much as I would hate losing Talen.

At last back in Hlint I spent a short time with Talen in the crafting hall before I finally took my leave and returned to the Wild Surge for some rest, and contemplation.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 03, 2006, 08:47:12 AM: Entry 49 - Wedlar, Febra 18, 1401

It's been almost 2 months since Talen and I were supposed to have wed originally and I've yet to finish making my new set of courting garments. I've just been so busy with other things, mainly the creation of items for donation to the Roldem Relief efforts. I think even Talen is growing impatient with the waiting, and in a mischievious way I think that's good. He said he'd be around a lot sometime in the next few days, so I'm looking forward to adventuring with him, perhaps even a trip to Dregar.

Last I saw Addison, she looked fit to burst. I mean, she looked as though her baby could be born any day, if not any minute. I was worried for a moment when it seemed she was considering a trip to the Plane of the Lost to try to bring back Cole, but it seems my worries may be rather unfounded. She was very easy to talk out of it, perhaps too easy.

Anna told me of some trouble she and a few others are having with a noble from Port Hampshire involving the daughter of a rich merchant and his wish to marry her (for the money I think). The lady is not in love with the noble, and wishes to marry a commoner who has her heart instead. Because Anna and the others sided with love rather than the selfish motives of the nobleman, he's hired Drow assassins to kill them all. Anna seemed quite on-edge about it, and her eyes would dart about constantly while we talked, and she seemed almost to jump at every sound.

Rhynn is upset with Jennara because she thinks Jennara said she is a liar. When I went to Jennara to report Thomas and his actions to her and have him investigated, I had not intention of putting Jennara in such a bad spot with Rhynn. Still, perhaps I should tell Rhynn that it was I who implied she was lying to cover for Thomas, not Jennara. Though doing so might cause Rhynn to alert Thomas to the whole investigation if she really is covering for him. I don't know why she continues to feed that lech's ambitions for her by not driving him away and by also covering for him. Though, it may not matter as I may have found a way to get the proof we need that Thomas is a liar, and thus have him stripped of his annointing as a paladin of Rofirein, whose name he currently soils through his actions. At least to me it seems such.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 04, 2006, 06:21:30 AM: Entry 50 - Tunar, Mar 3, 1401

Love is still a banner under which my life seems to march. I love Talen, plain and simple. We were able to spend a fair ammount of time together traveling to Shoufal and also to Dregar. I scarce recall most of the details of our trip, my mind was too absorbed in simply gazing at him as we walked together. At one point in Shoufal, I slipped into such a state of wakeful dreaming that I lost track of all around me. I wonder sometimes if when this happens to me it is unnatural or if my mind is ill in some way. When I 'awaken' it always scares me. I might find myself somewhere else than where I started, or surrounded by people that werent' there before. Near the end of our time together these last few days, Talen and I traveled through Karthy and onward to Fort Himlad on our return trip from Dregar. Fortunately, I remembered enough of the way from my trip with AnnaLee so long ago to keep us from getting too lost. We parted company at Fort Himlad, Talen had some business in the area to attend to that he said would take him a while, so I continued back to Hlint from there on my own.

Addison was with us for a while too. Her newborn baby boy, Calvin, she kept wrapped safely and warm. I could tell, even in battle with the child tucked into a carrier on her back, she was careful not to jostle him about too much with her movements. I cannot think of any place more secure for him than with her, even though Addison's mother seemed ill-at-ease with the way Addison was taking him with her on some of her adventures. Addison seemed much more happy than I've seen her in some time, and while it is obvious she is still pained greatly by Coles absence in her life, she seems to be moving onward in her grief toward brighter days.

Once back in Hlint I went to the crafting house to make some alterations to the iron reinforced clothes I'd made a few days ago. I nust have had another of my waking-dreams though, for I had a rude awakening in the pressence of Tegan and that lech Thomas. Thomas made some remark, which I'm not entirely sure was directed at me, saying, "Are you trying to look pretty or seduce someone?" Being that I am again in the courting period with Talen, I wanted badly to slit the man's throat right then and there, even if his comment might have been directed at Tegan. Instead I simply walked away and changed back into my courting garb before leaving the crafting house for a time. I came back later and waited until that swine Thomas was gone before I began again altering the garment I'd gone there to alter in the first place.

As I was about to leave, I stumbled across both Freldo and Rhynn, the turquoise bard's unique and distinctive laugh catching my attention as I headed to the door. It turns out that Rhynn had quite a bit of adventure these last few days. She helped some kidknapped politician and was also with AnnaLee when they drew the ire of some noble in Port Hampshire and were set upon by Drow assassins. It seems I miss all the big adventures like these. But, oh well, that's just the way life is I guess. I probably wouldn't have been of much use anyway. A little later as I was helping Mr. Darsus to apply some enchantments to his sword and axe, Rhynn came by to whisper in my ear that Freldo had told her he might be pressenting her with a wedding ring sometime soon. I hope he does, they have been living rather improperly together for some time, but if they wed I think it may be excuseable. I also think that they will be much happier together once they know their commitment to eachother is solidified in wedlock.

A final note of utmost significance: The new date for the wedding of myself and Talen is to be the 20th day of the 2nd month, of the year 1402. I am overjoyed to be granted the love of this wonderful man whom I've come to know. The mere fact that he wishes to continue to court me, even after our disagreements, is enough for me to know his love is really true. My own love for him is also no longer of any question in my mind, he has proven himself to me over and over again to be that one whom I can trust with all the love of my heart.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 05, 2006, 06:54:19 AM: Entry 51 - Threas, Mar 19, 1401

Karthy. That's where we were going to head to on our little trip. We didn't make it there yet though. Addison, Rain Darsus, Talen, an elf whose name I don't know and who cannot speak common, and myself set out together from Hlint. Dur'thak was to come with originally, but got tied up doing some chores or something prior to our departure. We ran up to Fort Hope and portalled from the Crimson Shield guild hall with Addison to Pranzis in Dregar. Initially the plan was to then make the walk to Lorindar and sail from there to Karthy, instead we decided to have a 'romp' through the countryside slaying giants. Unfortunately for myself, Talen, and Mr. Darsus, the giants slew us. Talen and Mr. Darsus each fell once, and I fell twice, the first time being greeted by the Soul Mother who took another strand with her in her leaving. After his death, Mr. Darsus seemed incoherent so we left him safely behind in the temple of Toran in Pranzis to be cared for until his wits returned to him. Later, the elf who was with us departed from our company as well in Orc Watch, leaving just Talen, Addison and myself to continue together. We set out from Orcs Watch to find a pair of Malar Panthers we'd heard had been causing trouble to the local farmers and their livestock. Apparently the panthers were under control of vampires, and we slew them as well as the vampires, Talen taking the pelts of the panthers. Perhaps he can fashion something of good from them so their deaths will not be in vain. Exhausted from our adventuring, with even Addison needing rest, we returned to Pranzis where Talen and I took a room at the Hotel Layonara and Addison returned to her home to rest and be with her son Calvin. Pranzis is huge, so perhaps I'll spend some of my time exploring it a bit while I wait for Talen to make ready for the continuation of the trip to Karthy. Though, to be honest I wouldn't mind venturing 'round with him in Dregar some more before going on.

While rumaging through Grandpa's notes that I managed to salvage some six years ago from the remains of our home, I came across one of his poems today. I've decided to re-scribe it here within my journal, lest it be lost to the world otherwise. Perhaps I'll find other such writings of his as I continue to go through his notes, if so I'll re-scribe them as well. This poem seems so uncharacteristic for my Grandfather, I wonder when he wrote it and why? He never spoke of a time of such pain in his life that I recall.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Single Thread

A single thread,
It all unravels,
As this greedy world
Pulls on the string of hope.

Unwinding my heart,
Unwinding my soul,
Until nothing is left
A shell around emptyness.

A darkened earth,
Strewn with the line
Of what was once my life.
Now a tangled mess.

To what purpose?
Why have I been drawn out,
Tortured in this bindng way?
Useless twine, to rot all torn apart.

Tapestry of me,
Unwound, now gone. Forever?
Or to someday be re-woven?
Where is the crafter to make me whole again?

by Ruvan'Na'Biir Min E'Zoenna
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 06, 2006, 09:49:10 AM: Entry 52 - Sunra, Apreal 8, 1401

Latest events in my life include a trip to get some clay and make ring molds for Addison, with Kyle journeying with us for a short time, and a trip to the Barbarian Islands with Talen & Addison. AnnaLee has asked a special favor of me as well. I've also posted a notice in the trade & market hall to try advertising some of the goods I have made to sell, and a few things I've picked up that I'm willing to part with.

The trip to get clay was easy, and we stayed relatively close to Hlint. Between digging sprees at the lake we ventured past Haven Keep to fight gnolls and goblins and such. After Kyle parted ways with us Addison and I even made a raid on the mercenary camp filled with those loyal to the money they were paid by Bloodstone, those who would sell the world out for their own short-sighted gains and greed. Then Addison and I dug up some more clay on our way back to Hlint and I fashioned a great number of ring molds and fired them in the kiln for her. For payment, she gave me a Necklace of Shield I.

The necklace, along with two more like it which I bought from her, would prove to be invaluable on our trip to the Barbarian Islands where we went to fight kobolds and mine Alexandrite. She also gave Talen three of the necklaces, on credit, though I think he might have paid for at least one up front. Sadly, at a grim turning point in what had seemed to be a very good venture, Talen was ambushed by a large group of kobolds and quickly fell before either Addison or I could get to his side to help him. She wanted to blame herself for his death, but I convinced her it wasn't all her fault. While Addy's made great progress with her grieving, she is still in a fragile state of mind, and I find I have to help rebuild her confidence and self-esteem to keep her from giving up hope. I had to remind her, as I've been reminded often enough by Anna and Talen, and others, that we all make mistakes and bad things can happen as a result. Our mistake was letting Talen lag far enough behind us that the kobolds were able to ambush him and quickly overcome him when we should have stuck more closely together as a group, though the measure of that blame rests equally on all of us. A lesson we all should have known, and which we all in our own ways departed from and had to learn again. Having lost my heart to mine further that day, I told Addison to take us back out of the caves.

We ended back in Port Hampshire where Addison and I split the loot we had taken. All-in-all it was a profitable venture. Together we had mined a total of about 30 alexandrite clusters, counting the three that I had given to Talen to carry for me. From the 27 that Addison and I had with us, I was able to cut 42 stones, as well as 2 garnet stones from a 'mystery' cluster we'd mine too. Addison took with her 20 of the cut alexandrite stones, allowing me to keep 22 of them for my own practice. She'll bring her share of the stones to Kavil and he'll make some fine jewelry out of them for certain. One day I hope my own skill at gemcrafting and jewelering will match his. For now my skills keep me limited to copper and bronze works. I look forward to antoher such trip, and hope the next won't include the death of anyone with us, especially not my beloved Talen.

Back in Hlint, I sat at the pond to reflect on things, and mourn in a way Talen's passing, though I knew he'd have been drawn back to the bindstones to continue. Anna found me there and we talked for a bit, and eventually felt the need for a more secluded spot to discuss her special offer of work for me. It turns out that some of the people who she must have contacts with for the efforts to free Karthy from Milara's rule are a bit shady, and bring with them or on their heels ruffians who wish to make trouble. As a result, Anna decided to ask me to play the part of bouncer, or perhaps body-guard, during the times when she thinks those sorts might show up to make trouble at the Freelancers. I'm still not as confident in my fighting ability to be entirely comfortable with the prospect, but since Anna is a dear friend I of course agreed to be there for her. Who knows, for once I might even make some money for helping out.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 07, 2006, 07:42:39 AM: Entry 53 - Satari, Apreal 21, 1401

Work, work, work! That's pretty much all that occupied these last few days of mine. However, it was productive work. I cut, polished and mounted all the gems given to me by Addison and made some pretty good bronze jewelry from them, and a couple pieces of copper jewelry too. I even managed to create one exceptional piece from an alaexandrite mounted in a bronze ring. So, in the end I have about 3 bags stuffed to capacity with various jewelry I need to sell. If I can manage to sell it all, I'll probably have enough in my bank acocunt to purchase my master crafting badge and thus start making the really nice jewelry. Unfortunately, it seems most people don't appreciate the beauty of copper and bronze works and only want jewelry made of gold or platinum. I also really need to see about finding some place I can store all the things I make, I'm becomming overburdened carrying it all on my person, and even Olaf and my bank vault are full up with other materials I need to keep on hand for my crafting efforts.

When I finally got a chance to relax by the pond for a bit after all my hard work, Mr Darsus came and needed to be talked with. His memory still eludes him, and though I was hesitant to tell him, I felt I did not have right to withold from him what little I knew of his past. So, I told him of what he had told me in his earlier days after ariving in Hlint, that he'd lost his family, his parents when he was young, and then his wife and children when he was older. I also told him that he had thought it possible that his mother, and perhaps one child might still be alive, kidknapped by the barbarian group that killed the rest of those he loved. I tried to encourage him to see his memory loss as a chance at a new start, a way to put those pains behind him, but he seemed intent instead to concetrate on his anger and the power he thinks it brings him. I warned him that the nature of anger is destruction and that to live on that path would bring him to ruin. He seemed not ot want to truly listen to that and it was as if my words simply fell useless to the ground. I'm so sick of dealing with people who'll not hear wisdom, I'm not going to push further.

And that brings me to Rhynn. I am quickly losing all faith and respect I once had for her. She has confessed that she knows Thomas to be a bold face liar, yet she will not give testimony to Jennara or anyone of the church of Rofirein simply because she feels slighted by what was likely a true statement made by Jennara. She is so focused on being mad about being called a liar and a bad influence herself that she will not lift a finger to allow justice to be done. She is a liar, and a bad influence, as much as I hate to agree with that statement. Before we started arguing about the whole thing with Thomas, she'd handed to me some topaz to crush for her, and then after the confrontation I went to crush the topaz and returned it to her. Let it be the last of my dealings with her. I'm through with this woman who cannot make up her mind to do good or to do evil, and I will not be buffeted about each time she changes her mind. I would be her friend, and have tried my best to be, but I cannot be friend to one who is not a friend in return and her attitude and changing moods are too unstable for me to endure. Why she would rather let this situation with Thomas ruin our relationship than to simply do the right thing and give her truthful testimony to Jennara or some other ranking member of the church of Rofirein, I don't understand.

On top of this all, Talen has been gone for days. I miss him dearly, and his pressence would have served to calm my own mood after the things of these last days. I haven't seen him since he fell in the caves on the Barbarian Islands, though I know he lives for he sent word to me through mouth of another. I hope to see him again soon.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 08, 2006, 06:33:13 AM: Entry 54 - Satari, Mai 7, 1401

A lot has happened recently. I guess I should start with the way things happened, though not all of it is good news. I was preparing to head to the Freelancers in Point Harbor to meet with Anna and the founders there about a special job Anna had asked me to do for her when a falcon dropped out of the sky with a message, or rather two of them. They were from Rhynn. One was an apology from her for being such a stubborn gnit basically, the other was her written testimony about Thomas Stormsinger. In her note of apology she also mentioned part of the reason she did not speak about Thomas was that there was something which he had made her promise not to speak of and she did not wish to break her word. If only I had known, perhaps I wouldn't have judged her so harshly. In any case, I decided not to turn in the written testimony until after I'd spoken with Rhynn to be sure that what she promised not to speak of wasn't included in what she wrote about in the testimony. As fortune would have it, I ran into Anna and Ireth outside Hlint, and Rhynn and Jennara were inside the Red Light Caves investigating some murder that had taken place in Hlint.

When Rhynn came out, I went to her to ask her about it. Needless to say, the talk bore some revelation I will not disclose, but resulted in the finding that what Rhynn had written about was not that which she had promised not to speak of. By the time we were done discussing things Jennara had already left the area. So, we all headed to the Freelancers where Jennara said she'd be going to empty the donation chests there. Rhynn had even decided to come with in case the written testimony needed to be verified as authentic. She still had no wish to speak with Jennara if she didn't need to. Aparently Jennara had made soem remarks about Mr. Mith, and it was that which had truly offended Rhynn, not the comments directed at herself.

Anyway, we arrived and I turned in the testimony to Jennara. It was a bittersweet victory and signified what may perhaps be the end of Thomas's time with the Rofirein church, and brought pain to lady Jennara. We both agreed that as a paladin he cannot be allowed to continue on in his lying. In some ways I almost feel sorry for him...almost. What will happen to him next he has brought onto himself through lack of self-control and his own lusts.

With that duty done I settled in to help Anna around the Freelancers. After a time Rhynn, and Ireth eventually left. Talen eventually showed up himself, and I was glad to see him until it seemed he was not pleased I had taken the job... We had a fight of sorts right there in front of Anna, Seteece, Quillwem and some other gentleman whom I don't know. By the end of it Talen stormed out and inside I felt at that point of tears...again. Outwardly I was angry and frustrated, and Anna drew me aside into the kitchen to talk for a bit after Mister Quillwem tried as well to comfort me. I feel as though Talen expects me to just sit around with no life of my own while he wanders the lands for weeks at a time. He seemed upset that I might be moving from Hlint to Point Harbor without having discussed it with him first. I see his point, but I don't understand why it's such a big deal to him, it's not as though he stays put in any one place where I can find him. I thought he'd be happy I took the job for the income it will provide me. I'm not going to be his pretty doll that he can simply leave on the shelf and come play with at his own whim. I will keep this job with or without his approval, even if it means we end our relationship, as much as that would pain me, as much as it would pain us both.

That aside, Anna gave me a tour of the whole operation, and Mr. Mith had shown up with his Pixie friend Icesis. We were getting ready to leave and close up for the night, except that I was hungry and needed some food first, when Mister Caighd came in. He ordered some pie and ale and asat with me while I ate at the bar, and while Anna decided to finish cooking some more for hte tavern's stores. We talked at length, and it was a pleasure to speak with him about destiny, justice, and other beliefs that we both seem to hold dear. It's been some time since I've had the opportunity to discuss the realms of theology, and though he follows Rofirein, his beliefs are not so different than my own. Finally, Anna finished in the kitchen and the three of us portaled back to Hlint.

Almost upon our arrival there, another falcon swooped down with a message for me. It was not from Talen, as Anna and I had half expected, but instead the letter was from Addison. It had been written by her in quite an upset state judging the way her words were spilled out onto the parchment. Evidentally, Mr. Darsus had invited her to dinner and it made her uncomfortable, thinking his intent might be to woo her. She asked in her letter that I go talk with him and make clear that she was not wanting of his attentions, especially not so soon after losing Cole. So, Anna and I both went to find him. As it turns out, his intent according to him was only to have a good friend as company while he ate, and not that he had interest in Addison as a lover of any sort. We also found that due to his recent loss of memory he had not realized Addison's recent loss either. Still, tired and crabby, I stuck my foot in my mouth once again and managed to offend Mr. Darsus to the point that he stormed off cursing himself. I said goodnight to Anna, and went to bed in my room at the Wild Surge, even though it was the middle of the day by then. I quietly laid there in bed and cried myself to sleep thinking of Talen.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 10, 2006, 01:50:34 PM: Entry 55 - Satari, Junar 14, 1401 It's been almost a month since last I wrote in this journal. My heart has been heavy with angst. Almost a month ago, Talen and I had a fight in the Freelancer's, about my taking a job there without first dicsussing it with him. We haven't spoken face to face since, though he did leave a note for me a few days before now apologizing. I think I will include the exact text of the note here, as doing so might help me to understand things better myself. In the note he wrote: "M'Lanna Since we've been apart these last few weeks I've spent alot of time thinking of you and of us. I have come to the conclusion that all I want is you. Wherever you go I will follow. I am very sorry things got out of hand when we saw each other last and I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you. I love you very much. I hope this finds you safe and well, my love. I will see you soon." I need to talk to Talen. I do love him very much still, but I cannot continue like we have been. It seems that we are in a cycle of fighting and making up, but mostly fighting. Aside from the frequent fighting, I have begun to wonder of my own commitment to Talen. I probably should have told him first of my intent to take a job, not that he could tell me not to, but just so that he would be aware. Instead I put my own cares first, without giving much thought to how it might affect him. It seems I do this a lot when I take time to think about it. Perhaps it is I who owes Talen an apology, and perhaps my love for him is not as strong as it needs to be for us to be wed, instead of it being his love for me that need be questioned. I am caught now in a conundrum. I do not wish to be so hasty as before, and end our Courting prematurely. Yet neither do I wish to drag it on until the last only to leave us both in greater pain if it is true things between us are just not meant to be. I wish our relationship could return to those simpler days of our first months together, when I longed simply to be held in his arms, and he held me so comfortable within them. I will continue on for now, and try to go further with Talen to make things work between us, hopefully without so much fighting and tension. I will give our love more time to grow and see if it does.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 11, 2006, 10:11:53 AM: Entry 56 - Freas, Junar 27, 1401

Time never slows, well, perhaps for some it does but for the rest of us, we never notice if it does. In some regards I'm at ease again. I lay to rest my own fears about my relationship with Talen, and our love for eachother. I am sure we will do just fine as a husband and wife. Each of us is too stubborn to give up on our love for the other. We may have our fights, and I'm sure that we will continue to, but in the end we always come back to eachother and mend our wounded hearts together. I may be lonely while he is away much of the time, but I knew that it would be like that going in. Perhaps it's not such a bad thing really, for in his absence I can pursue many of my other interests and at the same time my yearning for him grows ever more strong. I am sure his yearning for me grows likewise while he is away, and it will always bring him home to me.

We made up together just before setting out with Kyle and Sa'kura on a search for adventure and a bit more gold. In such good spirits, I was quite forward in showing my affections for Talen, and he for me, and I think it may have caused Kyle to blush when he witnessed Talen and I kissing. Imagine that, a follower of Ilsare blushing at the simple kisses exchanged between a loving couple! Perhaps he could sense something of the passion held tightly in check, waiting for our wedding day to be released.

In any case, though our relationship was mended, our venture with Kyle and Sa'kura was a bit on the disasterous side. We were joined, after a twisting of the world, by Nepp' in Shoufal. From there we went forth boldly to slay giants. Perhaps a bit too boldly, for we roused too many at once, along with some Maur, and they quickly beat us all to jellified masses of dead meat and splintered bones. It took us quite a bit of time to make the journey back into the mountains from Velensk in order to reclaim our graves and put our deaths behind us. Fortunately Sa'kura was able to make us invisible...well except at the start when she botched the casting on myself. Yet still Toran saw fit to keep me safe, with quite a bit of help from Talen and his bold efforts to draw off golems and giants alike as we climbed into the mountains to Shoufal again.

Needless to say, our thirst for adventure, at least mine and Talen's, was quenched for the time and we headed back down out of the mountains after reclaiming our graves. Kyle and Sa'kura pressed onward, to what fate I'm not sure. I hope they made whatever goal they sought safely together. In any event, Talen and I had a race to the inn in Port Hampshire where we rented a room together. I felt as if in the heavens to be held in his arms as I fell alseep. Just the comfort of his pressence is all I need to be happy beyond measure. In the morning, I woke first and left him there as he seemed to be sleeping so peacefully I didn't want to wake him. I didn't want to leave him either, but I had a commitment at the Freelancer's to uphold.

So, off I went to the Freelancer's to watch over Anna, and the place in general. The day was passed in tension as I guarded and it has left me exhausted. Near the start of my shift I finally met the sea captain Anna had told me about, a Mr. Harvard. Indeed he was a man rough 'round the edges, but enough of a gentleman in his own way that I think I can call him likaable. There was also another man of the sea, by name of Jake Saltpetre or some such. He on the other hand rubbed me the wrong way and seemed quite the lecherous type. I was quite firm in letting him know I wasn't available and that I was steadfast in my commitment to Talen.

There were others there as well who came and went during my watch, and a couple of significant events. First, a drie rat appeared seemingly out of nowhere behind the bar with Anna. She turned herself invisible and I managed to crack it's skull open with my bare hands before I even fully realized what was going on. I quickly scanned the bar for more such vermin, but saw none.

A bit later a man working for the queen of Mistone came through, and his lips let loose the information that the queen was buying up all the horses she could in order to prepare for war. After this gent' left another man arrived, and with quite an attitude as well. He ordered a drink in a most surly manner, and that drew my attention to him more. Scanning him carefully I could tell he carried a sword and seemed to be trying to take measure of every inch and patron within the Freelancer's without being too obvious about it. After switching tables and then eventually walking about the front of the bar a little the man made to leave.

Then a man who looked to be a paladin of Rofirein entered the bar and had a drink. He spoke of his errand to deliver news of the kings passing to Mistone, fort Llast to be specific if I remember right. Eventually after finishing his drink he left as well. Not long after that as I watched out the door I saw a group of rough looking men go past on the docks. I moved forward to take a closer look and I warned both Anna and Seteece of my suspicions. Mr. Seteece had me go make sure Mr. Harvard was safe in his room, and there I stood guard for quite some time. Eventually Mr. Seteece came to talk to Mr. Harvard in his room for a while. I listened in a little from outside, and it sounded as though Mr. Seteece used drink to loosen Mr. Harvard's tongue a bit. I didn't hear too much of the conversation's specifics though, but eventually Mr. Seteece came out. It wasn't long after that we all discussed things at the bar a little before I excused myself for some sleep.

I think Anna will be asking me to make some trips with her in the next days. Most likely to Karthy to search out more information, and perhaps rescue some snow-angels from the horrid conditions they face in that place.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 12, 2006, 06:47:38 AM: Entry 57 - Threas, Jular 12, 1401

Two-hundred Angels Needing Wings,
So many to save from evil things.
Can this flight of fancy end well?
Only with trial can we tell.

Two-hundred Angels Who Must Fly,
"Save the little ones," our battlecry.
Lead them out to Safety's hand,
Or die trying and making our stand.

Two-hundred Angels In The Pit,
Who can stand to idly sit?
Steeling ourselves when darkness falls,
We'll go to them, we'll breach the walls.

Two-hundred Angels, Make No Sound!
All will be lost if we are found.
Hurry now through darkened land,
Hurry now to Safety's hand.

Two-hundred Angels In Autumn's Heart,
With Heart of True Peace to do her part,
We cannot fail in this noble goal,
We will rescue each little soul.

Two-hundred Angels Needing Wings,
So many to save from evil things.

-----Treana Min E'Zoenna
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 13, 2006, 06:54:48 AM: Entry 58 - Freas, Jular 27, 1401

Recent events include: Talen has made a deal with the fellow Kiva for renting a small room in a house in Lellion. Jareg is the actual owner of the home, but evidently Kiva is a steward of Jareg or some such and has authority to rent out the room on his behalf. Together Talen and I have moved in a few pieces of furnishing for the room, at risk of making it quite cramped. Still it beats sleeping at an inn I suppose.

On a trip to Dregar, in the public crafting house of Pranzis to be specific, Addison told me she doesn't want me to marry Talen. She said she feels I'm just settling, and that I deserve much more than a man like him. She also said she felt that once married she and I wouldn't get to spend as much time together and that she'd be jealous of that. I tried to explain to her that Talen wouldn't keep me from spending time with my friends, but she cried out that she knew I wouldn't understand and ran out of the crafting house. I caught up to her as Jennara stopped her to sell her an enerald for a fortune, but as soon as Addison finished paying for the gem she ran off again. I excused myself from Jennara and Mr. Ravenlock who'd also wandered up and went to go after her. I arived at her house in the Haft Lake district to find she'd locked the door behind herself and wasn't answering. I feared she might do harm to herself, but despite my loud knocking and other best efforts I couldn't get in. Talen showed up after a while and I explained to him to the best of my knowing what had happened. Eventually I decided Addy wasn't going to let me in to talk until she was ready so Talen and I left together. Putting the events down on paper, and thinking about the way they happened has begun to give me an idea of what might be troubling Addison...but I can't be sure until I hear more from her.

Anna still seems fixated to a degree on that dreadful stone in the Hlint cemetary. She believes the spirit behind it is in pain, and needs to be put to rest and released from it's torment. I agree, it needs to be put to rest, but mainly only in order to prevent more murders of the sort that've been happening around Hlint lately. At the same time Anna is also trying to organize a troup of volunteers to help train the people of Roldem in the recovery effort. I told her I may be able to train some in a few of the basic sword techniques used for fighting with light swords such as my rapiers. I can probably also help teach a few locals something of tailoring to help them start making their own clothes for their backs and those of their neighbors in need. Then still, there is our secret mission, of which we didn't speak much these last few days. We have to find a way to get them safely out, and Anna says more information needs to be gathered first.

Lastly of a lesser import to me, there have been many spiders on Mistone, around Hlint and surrounding areas. I killed the one dire spider I ran into in the high moors, bust hadn't run into any more since. From talk among those I passed in town though, the spiders have been showing up in many varieties and in groups of larger numbers too, all over the countryside. With so many things happening, or setting up to happen in the near future, I cannot help but wonder what's coming... Definitely there will be changes in the world, good or bad I cannot say.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 14, 2006, 06:38:10 AM: Entry 59 - Satari, Augra 14, 1401

Well...I don't know what to write about this most recent revelation. Addison...Addy, told me about her feelings for me. Indeed, she said she had even thought of leaving Cole, before his death, for me. I still love her as a sister, and I think I always will. But, these feelings she has for me complicate life in a way I hadn't thought could be. Obviously I can't love her in that same way that she would love me, can I? It isn't natural for a woman to love another woman like that. Yet from my own lips I spoke a truth that somehow discomforts me in a way, that I feel closer to Addy than I do to Talen. How can that be? I will need some time to sort out the feelings I have, but in that time I will continue to love them both as though nothing has changed, because it really hasn't, I just hadn't known about the degree of Addy's love for me before. Perhaps in time her feelings will change and she will be content to be the wonderful friend to me that she is, instead of wishing to also be a lover. I haven't yet told Talen of this revelation, and I'm not sure I should, or should I? Doesn't he have right to know she would court me, even though she is not a man? There is nothing in the traditions that deals with this exact situation, they were not written to consider such love between two of the same gender.

To change the subject before I go insane... I found Anna at that creepy stone in the cemetary again. There was a newly called one with her, a Mr. Rend. He seemed nice enough. Anna was fized again on that stone though, and I had to threaten to drag her away fro it to get her to leave it. The two told me of a spider that had appeared and 'she' had lead them on a 'tour' of the largest of the three crypts but did not attack them... The wierdness continues to evolve in Hlint. Talen, Kyle and I encountered dire-spiderlings in the Xin Smithy while Kyle was smelting some gold that Talen and I had mined together. Somehow I think the spiders and the stone at the crypts and the 'watcher' that I've heard tell of are all related in some way, but I can't fathom how.

While talking with Anna in the cemetary, a falcon dropped by with a letter for me from Mr. Darsus. It was an odd text, and smacked of the ramblings of a madman. Mr. Darsus went on about 'being back in game soon' and 'after 6 installations of windows' and being 'back on the server'. I showed the letter to Anna and we both agreed that perhaps the man had finally taken one too many blows to the head. Why his insanity should have him write such a letter to me, I have no idea. I think I had best avoid him from now on, there's no telling what a crazed lunatic might do.

Earlier in the evening I made a sale of jewelry to Kinson Ravenlock. I was quite ecstatic about it. He bought three pieces of jewelry from me for a lass he wished to help. It felt good to finally have sold something and that it would most likely all be put to good use by someone. I have a backlog of nearly 100 gems to polish and set in jewelry right now, mainly alexandrite which I already have many pieces made from, but also a few more topaz and other types of gems. I think I might just have ot break down and buy all the oils needed to polish them, though I suppose if I made my own oils my skills if alchemy would only improve. I'm just not sure I want to spend all that time needed to collect the mushrooms and malachite I'll need.

Talen and I managed to do quite well mining gold together, thanks to Talen's clever plan to foil the leader of the rogues who guard the gold veins. I can only smile at the crafty way in which he handled the situation. We came back with a total of 20 nuggets between us, enough to make 10 ingots of gold. Evidently he knows someone who will give him a ring of Bull's Strength for the ingots, and it sounds a fair enough trade. If I can find someone to enchant the gems for me, I think perhaps I might try making such jewelry soon. Perhaps I'll place an ad in the Dragon's Whisper with Bumblebee to both advertise my business and attract the attention of an enchanter to partner with. I don't think Rhynn has the commitment needed to be such a partner in business, but I may ask her first to give her the chance since she is a good friend.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 15, 2006, 06:03:25 AM: Entry 60 - Satari, Augra 28, 1401

Well, the cat is out of the bag. Not that it stayed in too long. I've told Talen about Addy and her feelings for me. He took it much better than I thought really. Not really much more to say about it. I'll have to tell Addy that I told Talen, so that she'll know why he will be treating her differently. I'm sure the two will be in constant conflict now and I wish I had kept things to myself, even though I know telling Talen was the right thing to do. It certainly wasn't the easiest thing, not that any choice in this has been easy.

Other news to tell of includes the tale of a grand adventure to ensure the victory of true love over the evil greed for riches. I was merely passing through Port Hampshire on my way to the Freelancer's for work when Rhynn stopped me and asked for my help. She explained that she, Anna, and many others had become the targets of assassins as her gaze looked at angels all around us, searching the shadows of the buildings for would be attackers. She told the story as it had unfolded thus far. They had initially been contacted by a nobleman there in Hampshire who wished to win the favor of the daughter of a wealthy merchant. The merchant had apparently set the task to his daughter's suitors of gathering three odd items and an amount of 10,000 gold to test their love for her. Christian, the nobleman, wished ot hire the group to gather the items for him so he would need not soil his own hands, or so he said. The party had smelled something foul of the situation, so they refused to help him, except a thief among them that ran off with the gold they'd been offered by Christian. The group left to find out more about Stuart, the other man attempting to court the wealthy merchants daughter. Apparently Stuart was the girls true love, but he was not of nobility, nor of wealth of gold, all he had was the wealth of his love for Susanna. Finding true love a nobler goal than that of Christian whom the party suspected was only wishing to marry for money, the group returned to him and declined his offer, but Christian threatened that they had a contract with him since the one had taken his money, and vowed that they would be killed for breaking that contract. All of this Rhynn explained ot me in hushed tones while warilly watching every avenue and rooftop, for Christian had already hired drow assassins to attack the group.

I felt in my heart that there truly isn't more a noble cause than true love, and thought about my own love for Talen. It took me no effort of thought to agree to join Rhynn and the others in helping Stuart complete the tasks set before him and win the hand of Susanna. So, off we went to the wealthy merchant's home to assist Stuart in speaking once more with the girl's father in an attempt to ensure Stuart's candidacy as a legitimate suitor was firmly established. The merchant at last acquiessed when it was proposed that each candidate for Susanna's hand would sign documents forbiding them to gain any financial or material profit through wedding Susanna, yet he still insisted the tasks be completed. So, it became a race for us to help Stuart, a man with noble heart if not noble lineage, to gather the three items and the gold he'd need.

First on the list was the head of a troll, so we made haste to the swamps near Velenske and Stuart slew the Troll and took it's head. Next we would sail from Velensk to the Dragon Isles, only we would be attacked along the way by drow assassins. I spotted one on a hill and moved toward it about to sound alarm when I felt an arrow pierce me through and a quick poison burned through me like lightning, killing me in an instant. The drow had dissappeared form sight even before I fell lifeless to the ground. My companions raised me, but time was waisting, and it was partly my fault for being too wreckless. After some needed rest my strength began to return and we made way into Velensk to book passage, and as we neared the ship again the Drow assassins struck. As quickly as we could we piled onto the ship and sailed.

On the Dragon Isles the item to fetch was the nose of a mongrelman, and again Stuart wished to be the one to slay the beast form which the nose would be taken. We were forced to fight our way past Treants guarding the forests in order to reach the mongrelmen, yet fight we did and quickly the second item was secured.

Back to the boats we ran and set sail again to Velensk so that we could go from there to Point Harbor in Rilara. As we set foot on the docks in Velensk we came under fire from yet more Drow assailents. Quickly we fought our way to the next boat, and after making sure all were aboard we were off to Point Harbor. The harrowing run between ships over, I had at last again a time to catch my breath.

Our arrival on the docks at our final destination brought talk of which route to go to reach the last creature on the list. The hide of a hill-hound was all that was left to collect, yet we knew that Christian had a head start on us, or would be coming close on our heels. I knew there had been hill-hounds in an area not far from Fort Himlad, as Talen had once taken me to see one there, but I was unsure of their exact location since it had been some time since that trip. Tegan knew for certain where to find them though, so she took the lead role in navigating our way through the forested hills of Rilara. It seemed we were best upon by the Drow assassins at nearly every step, yet still we fought onward seemingly made an unstoppable force by the noble goal of uniting true loves.

We at last reached the area of the hounds, and a needless slaughter ensued as the entire pack descended upon us. Somewhat ashamed for killing so many when only one hide was needed, some of us gathered the remains of those extra hounds that had been slain to see they would be given good use in death. Then it was time to turn around and proceed back to Port Hampshire.

Alas, we found our way blocked by an entire company of the Drow assassins, but they didn't attack outright. Hoping to talk our way past without fighting them and spilling yet more blood this day, we stopped to negotiate. The apparent leader, who I was sure was the Drow that had shot me down with a single arrow only hours before, conceeded to talk but refused to let us past with Stuart or the items he carried for his beloved. Talk went on for far too long and at last one of the more restless among us made a move that angered the Drow and she fired a volley of arrows with such speed that each of us were hit before she dissappeared from our sight. The other Drow simply stood, and then we realized why as they vanished. They had been mere illusion and we had stopped for nothing. With weary hearts we ran on to the port hoping against hope that we were not too late because of the delay. yet our woes were not over yet, for a storm had brewed at sea and the ship captains refused to sail in such weather. Lightning even began to strike the docks right next to us as we tried to persuade one captain to go to Hampshire, but in the end he walked away to seek shelter. It was then that the portal inside the Freelancer's tavern was remembered, so we headed there to portal to the place near Moraken's tower north of Hlint. It would be a long walk to hampshire from there, but we would get there for certain.

Arriving at last at the merchants home, we found Christian's horse outside and the door locked from within. One of our number began pounding on the door until the servant known as Joker appeared to answer. We asked her to let us in and finally after much to do, she said if we could prove Susanna love Stuart she would 'leave the door open by mistake'. Quickly a ring that Susanna had given for Stuart was produced and at last we were within and given audience with the wealthy merchant, but Christian was there as well. He sneered and jeered and taunted his best, and even offered Susanna's father an additonal 10,000 coin above that needed for completing the task that had been set. But, hearing his daughter's plea, the merchant decided that since both Stuart and Christian had completed the tasks they would fight a duel to the death to determine who would be left to marry Susanna. So it was, after Susanna offered to go with Christian if only to save Stuarts life, that Stuart acted most nobly and professed to her that he would rather die than see her in the pig, Christian's arms.

The two took up positions, and Susanna's father gave the signal to begin the fight. It was to be an honorable duel without armor, nor aid of magic or outside help of any kind. The two combatants went at eachother blow for blow, and at first it seemed Christian would win when he knocked Stuart down to the floor with a powerful blow. Love prevailed and gave Stuart renewed strength and he stood again under a flurry of blows from Christian and began sneaking in his own cuts. Bloodied to the point that his loss was apparent to all, Christian fought on like a madman, and though Stuart would have spared him otherwise he was forced to slay Christian outright. So true love prevailed and Stuart and Susana were given blessing to wed.

As we filed outside, our mission at last completed, we met again the Drow assasin. She asked what had happened to Christian and we told her he'd died in the duel with Stuart. She advised us that since her employer was now dead, and she had already been paid, she would spare us this time until another time some noble might hire her to kill us, and then she dissapeared from our sight again in the blink of an eye.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 16, 2006, 08:57:43 AM: Entry 61 - Tunar, Seplar 17, 1401

It broke hearts to do so, but I had to tell Addy she couldn't be my Viza Na'Ruvan for my wedding in 5 months. While I think she thought the reason I chose to ask someone else is that she thinks I don't trust her word anymore, I tried to explain that it's not that at all. With Talen knowing her feelings for me, if she were to be my Viza Na'Ruvan and give the A'Dose Min Im'Taro Desiir and Talen failed in it, he would object to her word and bring up her feelings for me as reason. I don't think he would fail, but I need the word of a fully nuetral party that I can trust, and so I have begun looking for another to fill the role. Still, it makes my heart ache for Addy and the pain my decision must cause her, and as she stated she will not now even be able to attend my wedding since only those involved directly are allowed to be there for the ceremony.

Addison was also prepared to give me her wedding gift early, I assume because she decided she would be heading into the desert until after the wedding. I refused to accept the gift on the basis of the traditions, that wedding gifts are not given until after a successful wedding. With the tests yet to be passed by both myself and Talen, it is not right to accept wedding gifts before we are truly wed. She didn't seem to understnad that either, and walked off with a comment that now I did not even want her gifts. I thought she should know by now it is not material gifts that I treasure, but true friendship that I hold dear.

Perhaps my heart asks for too much. Can I truly expect to keep the love of both of them and love them rightly in return? Addy as a friend and sister, and Talen as a husband? It pains me to no end to think that perhaps I will be forced to give up one for the other completely. How can I make a choice between them?

I have begun, as stated previously, my search for a new Viza Na'Ruvan. There are only a handful of people I'd even consider asking. Rhynn had been at the top of my list, but with the way she's been acting for months now I'm not sure I could depend upon her for the task. So, I've also considered Sa'Kura and Silool. Silool I've spoken to, and explained the ceremony too, and she is willing ot do it if I can find no other. Sa'Kura I have not yet spoken with about this, so I will try to catch her for a moment in the next few days. Ferrit was also a thought, but with it likely that Kyle is Talen's Viza Na'Ruvan, perhaps it would be too awkward, and aside from that I do not know Ferrit all that well yet despite our many meetings.

My heart is heavy, I've lost the will to write further for now.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 17, 2006, 06:53:28 AM: Entry 62 - Tunar, Oclar 3, 1401

It's over between Talen and I. I decided, once and for all, that in all honesty I do not love him fully. That isn't to say that I do not loave him at all, just not fully, not enough to marry him. As I feared, he seeks to blame Addison for my choice to end it, but truth be known I've had these feelings in the back of my mind since the very beginning. I believe what happened was that in my own selfishness and will to end my grieving for Erathim, I took hold of the notion that I needed to fall in love with someone else the way I had been in love with him. Talen seemed to be the one who could be that new love, and for a time I had myself convinced that he was. Yet deep in the back of my mind something knew that my love for him was not as it should be, that it was artificial in a way. For almost two years now I've been living in a lie of my own making, and at the cost of the heartbreak of another, one whom I do love but whom I do not love enough to marry.

Now, because I have done what I have to him, he hates me, and he also hates Addison through no fault of her own. He has vowed to have her killed, in his anger, though I do not believe he truly meant it. I cannot blame him for being angry with me, I've broken his heart, and more than once. I hope that as his anger subsides that he is able to move on and have a happy life. I wouldn't be opposed to remaining a friend to him, if he chooses to seek me out for friendship one day, but I have no illusions that he will. Only time will tell how his heart will mend, how deep the scars I have left upon it will be.

As for Addison, she says she will be content enough to remain my best friend, and that she will be happy if one day I do find one who I am able to love and who is worthy in her eyes of loving me. She gave me a key to her home, and told me I've always had a key to her heart. I don't think I will stay with her in her home, I do not feel that would be right, but I will visit with her often and continue to be the friend to her that I have always tried to be.

My job at the Freelancer's has been slow lately, but it does provide me a way to earn money other than endlessly slaying monsters across the lands. There's nothing like earning a living tossing drunken sods out on the bottoms. Not that there's a great need for that at the Freelancer's it's usually pretty quiet there and the regulars seem to be a good crowd. I sense from Anna's mood that the days for action are drawing closer, when we will be able to deliver the 'snow angels' from the tyrany of Millara and into safety. On that day I will be at her side to do my best to keep her and the 'snow angels' safe.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 18, 2006, 01:39:37 PM: Entry 63 - Satari, Oclar 21, 1401

A bad set of days. I've not seen Talen since our break-up, and I am not sure if that's good or bad. I only hope that he is mending and the next tiem I see him he will not be so angry and hurt.

I went to the burial ceremony for Cole Norseman. It was a good ceremony, though fewer showed for it than I'd expected. Addison was emotional, as should be expected at such a time, but not overly so. I did my best to be a comfort to her. After the ceremony's end, she lead those who were willing on a trip to Firesteep in memory of Cole and his fvorite pastime of 'waking ol' Fisty'. Fisterion, the great red dragon. Indeed, we didn't see the beast ourselves, but we faced many of his minions in our journey, and I have to say those are the toughest kobolds I've ever seen to this day. Addy, with all of us watching her back, managed to mine some admantium and cobalt before we turned to leave in haste. Unfortunately, I fell to an ambush set by the crafty kobolds, but at least the Soul Mother didn't seem to notice and the others were able to raise me up again. We rested in a home there until I got my full strength back, and then as we left Coldpepper the bard split with much of the loot we'd taken. We didnt' even realize it until we were half-way out of the mountains. Still, he'd made us invisible for our escape before leaving us, so I was not feeling too dissappointed about it. Though, admittedly it would have been nice to have some gold to deposit to my depleted bank acount. Still, I was there for Addy, even dressed in the elegant black dress I'd made just for the ocasion of the burial. Not so elegant now with kobold blood staining it.

When we returned to Northpoint, the others went their ways, but I stayed with Addison and we got a room at the Lusty Maiden Inn there. I finished explaining to her that I had broken up with Talen. She was surprised to hear the news, though neither happy nor greatly displeased about it. We talked for a while, and she pulled out the blue box I'd seen once before. It held within it what would have been the wedding gift I'd have received from her if Talen and I had wed. She decided to give it to me as a 'gift for a sister in heart' instead, since the idea of returning the gift didn't seem to sit well with her. I waited some moments before opening it, and quickly understood why returning it would be a difficult thing to do. Inside lay an equisite adamantium rapier, crafted by a master swordsmith. It is not the sort of thing that can be returned. A finer blade I have not yet held in my hand, and I do not think I could bring myself to weild such a fine thing until my own skills have improved some to match it's worth. After carefully laying the sword within again and closing the box top, we spoke a short time longer. Then, with hesitation and a small feeling of awkwardness for me, now knowing her feelings, we washed up togther and then slept. I reasoned that as a child I'd often shared baths with my sisters, and even before I knew ofher feelings she and I had once bathed together, so there should be nothing untoward about it. It's hard for me to see her a simply a sister in heart knowing what I know, but that is how I intend to relate with her, nothing more and nothing less. So, I cannot let my new knowledge prejudice my actions, can I?

After waking I found she'd already left, so I gathered my things and left as well. I returned to Hlint and began going about the business of trying to replenish my bank acount. The crypts seemed a good place to start, and within them I could do the commnity some good by laying to rest those restless undead that dwelt within. As I was on my way out, feeling ill from the lick of a ghoul, I encountered Jin Lun Lee, Ellis and another man. Ellis made an attempt to apologize for speaking ill of Addison at the Lelion Arms some night before, and I advised her, as long as her apology is sincere, so is my forgiveness. In any case, Mr. Lee asked if I'd help them with the darksoul, not that they'd really need my help with him there, but it seemed a good thing to do. So we went back and slew the undead together and collected the essence. After leaving the crypts I gave what skeleton knuckles I had to Mr. Lee since he always has need of htem and I'd likely jsut have pawned them anyway. Ellis and the other fellow stuck with me and Freldo who had joined us in the crypts on our way out.

Freldo got the notion that he wanted to go fight lizardfolk in the High Moors. Being short on gold I was all for the notion myself. I noticed Rain Darsus approaching and decided to draft him to our venture as well. The five of us went into the moors and slew a good deal of lizardfolk. Though, the Ellis has a mouth on her, and too much bravado for her own good, all in all a wreckless and prideful woman. It saw her to her death in one encounter on our trek. I almost wanted to smile, but I stowed those feelings down in a dark place for one should never wish to see a comrade fall in battle, even one whom they dislike. Freldo was able to magic her from sight on her return so that she could recover in meditation at the place she'd died. Then on our way out again, Rain fell to a volley of arrows in an ambush uncharacteristicly cunningly lain by the lizardfolk. It was some time before he returned to meditate at his own death-place, but when he did he brought several other swith him. If I'd not felt the need to return to town to finish some work I needed to do there, I'd have likely stuck with the group for another stint into the remote regions of the moors, and perhaps into the cave that lies back there.

The next days events were not much better for me. I went to work at the Freelancer's as usual. It wasn't long before a group of suspicious men came into the tavern. I tried my best to watch them, but they split up into groups. I stayed on my guard as best as I felt I could, but resisted the urge to risk offending people who might have been well-meaning customers with no ill intent. My failure to act was my own undoing, and also lead to the deaths of two others of the patrons. One of the suspicious characters had left my view and headed to the back of the tavern where he began to let in more thughs as himself through a window in one of the rooms. Meanwhile I concentrated on the front of the bar only to learn too late that their attack would come from the back. Mr. Seteece was trying to keep the patrons calmed after one fellow came in shouting of an immenent attack upon the bar, he noticed that Anna was missing and made comment. So I headed to the back of the bar where I could hear a comotion, thinking I'd find her for him to ease his mind and my own. I found instead the entire group of attackers. I turned to flee back toward the front for more help against such odds, but in my panicked state I wasn't quick enough and was struck down before I could even so much as finish drawing both my rapiers and raise the alarm with a shout. Some guard I am, I couldn't even keep myself safe.

After, I remained behind with Anna and Mr. Harvard to watch over them while the rest set sail. Anna's begun to stutter almost uncontrolably because of her fear of losing Mr. Mith. She expressed to me as well that he's become increasingly wreckless in recent days, which only adds to her fears. I have half the notion to slap the man into shape for her, but Anna wishes me to remain uninvolved in that respect. I explained to Anna my reasons for leaving Talen, as she'd asked what had happened. Apparently she'd met him at some point after we broke up and he'd told her it had happened, but not nescessarilly the reasons for it. We made a short trip out to fetch rice, apples and cranberries, leaving Mr. Harvard behind under the care of the guards of the Freelancers. He was still safe on our return, so I decided to take some sleep myself.

Of late I feel so useless sometimes. A source of pain for some, and a drain on the resources of others. I should have been able to take down at least one of those attackers today before falling, if only I'd not panicked. Maybe I'll only be another liability in the attempt to liberate the children of Karthy in the coming days. Maybe it would be better if I stayed behind.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 20, 2006, 07:54:32 AM: Entry 64 - Freas, Novlar 20, 1401

What is there to tell except that I have failed again in many ways? Anna and I had just brought in another group of children from Karthy when one of them told us that the rest of the children were in danger. Those with us in the Freelancers quickly volunteered to help us in going back to save the rest, and back we went in the dark of night. I slowed us, unintentionally, wanting to go a route to Karthy that would have taken longer but that I believed would have been safer in it own way. When the others firmly disputed my idea we turned about and wen their way, which was a much quicker route. As I feared the route was guarded, the enemy was expecting us and laid in ambush. We fought this first group quickly and hurried onward to the place near the lake we were to meet the children. They were there, gathered in a group on a small peninsula that lay jutting into the lake. There also were the enemy, waiting for us again before they began their slaughter.

I fought as hard as I could, but the screams of the children as they were being cut down around me proved too much for me to hold my concentration. The carnage was too aweful, and in a moment of revulsion at what was happening I myself was struck down. Blood and guts normally do not bother me, but when it was the children who I saw dying I was deeply bothered. How could anyone with conscience do such terrible things?

My soul was called back to my body some time after the battle had ended and I woke from death gasping for air. As I took in my surroundings I saw I had remained where I'd fallen, but the bodies of the children had been gathered and lain down in a row next to eachother. It appeared some of their number were missing, so perhaps some were saved by the others. I don't know, I haven't had the opportunity nor the stomach to discuss those events with Anna or anyone else. I noticed two men with us that the others were speaking with. One appeared dressed as a guard from Karthy, but apparently had some connection to the temple of Xeen. I assume it was he who raised me adn the others who'd fallen.

We rushed back to Point Harbour fearing an attack upon the Freelancers and the children there. To our relief, there had been no attack there when we arrived. But instead we were greeted by an eagle, yes an eagle, which delivered a message to Anna. Apparently the message was from the men we'd met at the battlefield, and told of a meeting of those responsible for slaying the children that was to take place near Port Hampshire. We gathered some small amount of supplies and sailed quickly to disrupt this meeting. We arived there first, but had little time to prepare, and the others seemed to wish to spend that short time bickering about how we would handle the situation, and only a couple of us seemed to wish to listen to Anna and what her plan might be. Hearing the ships would soon be docking, I slipped off to try hiding in the shadows to watch the meeting should it take place. However, upon docking the boats instead unloaded troops in several waves, I'm guessing they'd seen the rest of the party standing around bickering as they pulled in to shore.

This battle was much more fierce, and many of the foes were much stronger than those we faced near Karthy, but without children present for me to worry about, I was able to keep my concentration longer. I fought foe after foe and each time it seemed we were beginning ot make headway against the enemy more would pour forth from the fog. I kept at it while magics flared and sizzled around me. I took a massive jolt from a lightning bolt in the back that sent me staggering off-balance adn it was all the magically enhanced skeleton I faced needed to finish me off. I gave a last grunt as it's blade sunk into my flesh and I knew I was finished again.

This time I awoke from death a small way away from where I had fallen, held in Anna's arms as she cried over me. I couldn't help myself but to cry as well. Perhaps as her protector I didn't utterly fail as she seemed to have lived through the fighting again. Perhaps that was more the doing of others and her own efforts though. On hindsight I suppose I should have tried staying closer with her in the figthing, but as she was likely invisible through most of it I had no way of keeping track of her in the chaos. Regardless, I feel I learned some valuable things of fighting this day that should prove to serve me well in the future. I can only hope that as my adventures continue in the war to defeat Blood and his forces that I will begin to die with less frequency. At least in these last two deaths the Soul Mother held back her hand from taking another bit of my soul.

I'm told that as a result of our efforts, even though many children may have been lost, we have gained a valuable source within the temple of Xeen in Karthy to aid in the efforts to liberate the city from Milara. Our mission there was not a complete loss after all, and many of those little ones who fell might yet be raised by the priests and priestesses in the temple of Ilsare in Hlint.

And yet I have more foul news to write of. Only a couple days after the events described above Rhynn confessed to me that she has shared bed with Mith. Both Anna and Freldo are betrayed by those they love. Rhynn said Mith has told Anna of his adultery, and she herself told Freldo. As a result Freldo has left Rhynn, and I have to say good for him. Though at first hearing of his leaving her I wanted to comfort Rhynn, but she seems to have little or no remorse for betraying him so. Likewise it sounds as though Mith made some claim that Anna doesn't care who he sleeps with so long as she is the one who has his heart. I doubt that Anna truly feels that way at all, and I wonder what this news will have done to her in her current state of mind. She had already been to the point that her worries for Mith losing his life, or of herself loosing the twins she carries, or of the lives of the orphans of Karthy, were causing her to stutter without control. I know Anna is not one who can hate, so I fear that instead she will withdraw into herself. I would fear she might try to end her own life, but I know she's stronger than that at least. I am not so worried for Freldo as I am for Anna, he seems to be one who is carefree enough to easilly recover from this terrible betrayal. I hold nothing in my heart for either Rhynn or Mith now, not even anger. Let them go their own independent way so long as they cease to hurt those I do care about and any others.

I don't understand. They each had happiness within their grasp. How could they betray such love as they had for nothing?
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 21, 2006, 07:29:07 AM: Entry 65 - Satari, Decilar 7, 1401

Life never ceases to give me new things to ponder over. The 'why's' and 'what if's' and other such sorts of things. Since the days past when the children were slain all around me in the fighting I've been having nightmares of it over and over again. Each time in my dream I try to change the outcome, each time I fail, over and over again. Every so often instead of dreaming of that battle, the dream changes into the nightmare of the night my whole village was overrun by the orcs and goblins some years ago. The screams of the dying are always much the same in both dreams, so are their faces glimpsed as they fall into grass or snow. In waking the sounds and images still plague a dark corner of my mind, especially when I'm near the 'sleeping' children, those who have been raised but have not awakened. Those who repressent the price of my failure that terrible night. Anna has told me they've been moved to a safer place where they might also receive better care, but I know that even if or when they wake they will forever remember the night they were slaughtered.

In waking I'd been given other things to ponder. Still the constant call of Jennara for aid of the people of Roldem, too many relax for too long and do nothing. I pledged to make boots, at least 10 pair in the next few days. The work keeps me busy and my mind somewhat distracted from the nightmares.

I've talked with Anna, and Rhynn about the adultery between Rhynn and Mith. Anna says she is unhurt by it, that she does not expect Mith to be bound to physical faithfulness as we humans are want to do in our traditions, and she says she is happy so long as his heart belongs only to her. In my own beliefs, intimate acts are tied so closely to the heart it makes it hard for me to fathom that such adultery could be considered anything less than a betrayal of love, but Anna seems to think among Elven kind that such wanders between partners of intimacy is not uncommon nor considered wrong. Rhynn...she is hurt in other ways but will heal and become stronger for it I believe. In talking with her, she believes what happened to be wrongful, and she thinks it'd be easier if Anna did hate her for it, if everyone did. She is ashamed, and so I forgive her trespass as it was not against me, nor did it seem to hurt Anna in any way from Anna's view. I still wonder whether to forgive Mith as well, but I suppose if it is the way of his people I must accept that. Rhynn also told me of a love between herself and another woman, a love that from my teachings is just as wrong as adultery and fornication, but her words bring with them question to ponder. 'True love is truly foolish, it knows no race, gender, or logic,' to paraphrase. So, while I do not agree that love is foolish, a notion most likely instilled into Rhynn by someone such as Ozymandius, I cannot completely disagree with the rest of that statement easilly. Especially when I think of the deep love that Addison and I hold for each other as 'sisters of heart', and there can be no mistake about that love. We each seek the happiness of the other, even to our own sacrifice, so I wonder...

Freldo, whom I have not seen yet since learning of their split, has appointed me without choice of my own to be his middle-man and receive from Rhynn the things he wishes returned to himself. Since he did not ask my willingness first, but instead put me in such role without choice, I will charge him for such service somehow. I know he is hurt, but this action shows a pettiness I do not agree with. I certainly know Rhynn was more patient with him than I ever could have been, while he made her wait for months, even years before speaking any sort of words of commitment, and even those not of a certainty. It is no wonder then that she fell the way she did with Mith, a close friend and mentor whom she admires. In any case, in my own culture and beliefs, a gift given is lost to the giver and they can hold no claim to it from the point they give the gift. For Freldo to ask for the return of such gifts given expecially with the pretense of a show of love is deep offense, it only shows his love was not true at any point and his motives false that he should consider it an investment to be yielding a material return.

I wish there were something of good I could write of... That might do. I was with Addison in Pranzis and we met with Sniverous in the craft halls as he was making a malar bag for Addy. At her prompting he showed me a wad of silk they had found together which came from a dark-apider. It was dark in color and I wondered if it would prove a stronger silk than that of other spiders, and in what ways it might best be used if that was the case. I suggested to Addinson that we might start stock-piling the dark-silk in order that we might have a large supply to draw upon when once we did find a use for it. We could thus perhaps make a fortune from such forethought and have edge over any competitors that might arise.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 21, 2006, 06:14:13 PM: (OOC Note: For those interested, the 60th entry has been edited to now include Treana's telling of the events of the 'Courting For Riches' quest.)

Entry 66 - Satari, Decilar 14, 1401

What an awakening... I gather myself here at the Lusty Maiden in North Point, Addison asleep nearby with a beautiful smile spread acroos her countenance even in slumber. I cannot but help to smile myself, a bridge has been built where I thought none could be, a wall removed to let flow feelings repressed within me by tradition and custom. I owe this peace in my heart to Rhynn, strangely enough. Her words, which I've written of previously were the key to unlock the last chain upon my heart which restrained me from this new world now before me. It is a world with Addison, my dearest friend and my truest love. Only days ago I could not have imagined myself committing wholy to another woman, yet I struggled within knowing she already had my heart. I made the decision today to give her also my body, if it will complete her happiness, and even my own as foreign to me as it all seems.

We went today with Sniverous into the Firesteeps to retrieve adamantium and cobalt, but our forray was met with dissaster. We were overwhelmed by the kobolds that follow Fisterion, and each of us fell in turn. First myself, then Addison, and lastly even Sniverous. When we reformed at the bindstone in Northpoint, Addy told me she had lost another strand of her soul, and wept. She has now only two strands left. After weeping for some time she went into the bank and withdrew a large sum of money before handing it to me and announcing her intent to retire. I took the sack of gold reluctantly and tried to talk her out of such action, and tried to cheer her. She seemed stubbornly set upon giving up on life in general, and then I did something unexpected even to myself... I kissed her, if only to get her to listen. And then it spilled out, my thoughts of the last few days and my decision to commit myself to her fully in love and body. Her mood couldn't have change more drasticly in a fleeting moment. She went from utter despair, to shock and disbelief, to pure joy.

For all my life, the traditions and customs I've been taught almost religiously have spoken against an intimate physical love between those of same gender, that it is an affront against nature itself and completely and utterly wrong... yet this new path I've chosen feels so right. I cannot explain it except to say that even before today I have often felt more close to Addison than any of my other friends, or even than I had to Talen, or my beloved Erathim. She has been more than family to me even, in the way I feel about her and she about me.

Yet there are questions I ask myself. Knowing that most would not be accepting of this kind of relationship, I wonder how we should persue it? Must we keep it veiled in secrecy, or can we dare to wed as any other couple might? Would society even allow it if we wish to and recognize our union as valid? Do I hold onto my traditions of the Old Culture to some degree and keep them as best as I can, or must I forsake them entirely? Will Addy understand if I one day find a man to father a child if I choose to become a mother myself? How will having two mothers and no father affect Calvin as he grows? Would he as well become an outcast to society because of us?

A great many questions remain that I do not write about. This new path I have chosen is both a road of newfound freedom and joy as well as a path of frightening prospects of some kinds. Yet a truth I know in my heart beyond any doubt can be said in four words: I love Addison completely.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 22, 2006, 11:35:22 AM: Entry 67 - Wedlar, Decilar 25, 1401

So much pain among my friends. So much pain in this world. I feel blessed, truly blessed, to have a light in this darkness through Addison and our love together. I received the answer to one of my questions in a round about way in these last few days. We were talking in the cave in the Battle Fens with Glenn. He was expressing his dilema of loving both Silool, who he wished ot have a child with, and Ash, whom he wished to have a deeper relationship with. Not knowing my own recent thoughts on the subject of a shared love for the purpose of having a child, Addison made the comment to Glenn that any man who'd ask a woman to allow them to have a child with another was insane and that no woman would share their love in such a way. It seemed to be her true feelings about it, and I felt it also applied to us, to our relationship. I talked with her more about it in the crafting hall in Port Hampshire as she smelted a good deal of platinum. When I explained that perhaps one day I might wish to bear a child of my and that I would need to share my love with a man to accomplish that, she seemed almost at tears, and though she agreed eventually that for that purpose she would accept such, I think in her heart she still would rather it not be that way. As such, I may give up the idea of having my own child and simply pour all my motherly love into the life of little Calvin as though he were my own flesh and blood. Indeed, if Addison and I are to be togther as though married, then Calvin is as much my child as hers.

Now back to detailing in some way some of the continued pains of my friends, since they are important to me and I would help ease their pain or absolve it completely if I can. Perhaps Talen's pain is nearly all mended, though I suppose there is no way to be sure, but I did pass he and Jenna Pandorn in east Hlint as they sat together for a goodly length of time. I will have to summon the courage to ask Talen if indeed there is new love being tendered between them, or if they are just friends.

Meanwhile, Anna and Mith are having a terrible spot of trouble in their lives, and I'm not sure of any of it. I'll explain what I think I know about it from the perspectives they both given. Something happened to make Anna very afraid of Mr. Mith, and as a result he left her, but he's come back to watch over her from a distance as I believe he still loves her deeply. Anna told me a story that she saw her future self as a zombie, and that her future self told her that it would be Mith and Rhynn together who would make her into a zombie. This I believe is why she fears Mith and Rhynn both now. After hearing this story from Anna, I noticed a figure standig off a ways watching us, and though his clothes were completely different and his face hooded, his posture seemed familiar even down to the way he carried the staff he held and I reasoned the man must be Mr. Mith. I approached him and he told me his view of the situation, and I believe it to be a reasonable view. He explained what had happened when Anna became so afraid of him, and how his heart broke at that moment and he was going to end his life in order to stop cusing her such pain, but that Katia sent a bear to interfear with that. He also told me he believes Anna to be possessed by an evil spirit, and that it is this spirit that fabricates what Anna sees in regards to himself and Rhynn, or even anything else. He believes, as do I, that this spirit has a special hatred and fear of necromancers, perhaps because they have power over the undead to some extent, and it is for this reason the spirit stirs up Anna's fears to make her run or become defensive around himself and Rhynn. I tired, as Mith's asking to talk to Anna and keep her calm as he approached as he expressed his thoughts that if he could be closer to examine this spirit within her he might discern more about how to remove it, before it takes her and the children she bears completely. I don't know if Anna trusts me anymore as a result of my actions, or that getting Mr. Mith close ot her for a time helped in any way. Eventually Mr. Mith left in anger, having had a fight with Anna, and said he'd be in the temple in the grove when Anna was ready to speak to him, though I doubt he'll be able to stay away in all honesty.

In regards to Rhynn, her path is perhaps mending and making her heart stronger, but hopefully not too calloused. She told me of a love she has for a woman, and that the woman she loves does not accept her as a necromancer. I don't have much to say about this except that I agree with Rhynn that whoever loves her must love her regardless of the kinds of magic she weaves. So I hope that Rhynn finds such a person one day, or that this other whom professes to love her grows to accept her for who she is in whole. While a time alone will help Rhynn to become more aware of who she is, and allow her to become her own master of her life, I know from experience that life is more complete with someone to love who also loves in return.

I have not seen Kyle, or Ferrit for that matter, much at all in some time. I hope they do not think I've abandoned their friendship as in many ways I feel Kyle is like a brother to me. I would like to speak with him again, perhaps not about Addison and myself as I think it best for now to keep that a secret, but just to talk with him as friends talk.

I have also finished making the boots I'd pledge to make for Roldem. Just ten pair, but at least it's more than most seem to be giving for the effort. I met a dwarf named Dalan in the crafting house who also gave me a set of robes to donate and a couple more deerskins to turn into boots. So, perhaps there are some who still remember the plight of the people over in Roldem, and who will lift their hands to the task of helping. In any case, now I've just to drop off what I have to Jennara's crates in the Freelancer the next tiem I pass that way.

Lastly I return my writing again to myself and Addison. We spent the night together just holding eachother in my, our bed in our home in Pranzis after talking for a while. I told her some fond memories from my past, though at the cost of stirring up memories of that terrible night I lost them all. She in turn invited me to read her diary and committed it to my hands. I will read it as I have time to so that I might grow a deeper understanding of M'lanna, Addison. I as well offered to her that she could read this journal of mine if she liked, and I will begin leaving it in the small chest in my room rather than carrying it with me everywhere. While Addy enjoys lavishing me with gifts, the most lovely gift she has given me is her time, her love, herself in so many ways. And while I expressed that I wished I could give her such gifts as she has given, she also expressed that I give to her the same great gifts of time, love, and self and that is only they that make her heart happiest.

My hand grows tired from all this writing though there is still much more I would write about. It will have to wait for another day, for life is busy, I have friendships to care for and work to perform, and time to spend with Addison and little Calvin.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 23, 2006, 11:59:15 AM: Entry 68 - Threas, Jenra 12, 1402

My nightmares continue, of the children and of my own village some years ago. Screams in the darkness, snow lit by the light of burning homes, or grass lit under the shine of a pale moon, and death surrounds me. I wake many times in the night, or day, since I get such little sleep my resting often spills into the hours of daylight. I make trips to visit the sleeping children in the temple in Northpoint, but usually all I can do is cry silently next to them. I hold out in hope that one day soon they will begin to awaken, each and every one of them. Perhaps if Aeridan is merciful they will awake and not remember that night at all, and be able to live happier lives.

When not worrying so for them, I distract myself with work of any kind I can find. I've made 11 pairs of boots and a pair of gloves and donated them, along with some robes made by Dalan, to the Roldem Relief efforts, leaving them in the crates at the Freelancers. I'll likely make some more in the days to come.

I've spoken with Rawkwin, the leader of the Crimson Shield, about becomming a member myself. Both Addison and Silool have also said they will support my membership when votes are taken. In the mean time Rawkwin has suggested I get to know more of the Crimson Shield members in the months to come, and that I should go adventuring with them on some of their trips together. To protect and serve the peoples of the lands is a noble charge and mission, and I do so as best I can already, so becomming a member with the Crimson Shield won't change too much of my life I don't think. Rawkwin also seems to think I have skills that will be valuable to the guild if further developed, so he's even suggested I try practicing crushing pearls to improve my gemcrafting skills. I'll have to try that as I've not done so before. Not sure what I'll do with the pearl dust though, but perhaps I can give it to the guild and they will have use for it, or maybe I can pour over some more alchemy texts and find a use for it myself and thus improve furhter my alchemical skills too. I'll probably also continue to make more cougarskin bags, and hopefully find people to sell them too to improve my tailoring skills.

There's also the upcoming costume party for Tyrian and Creighton. I think it will be a fun event and I'm crafting costumes for both myself and Addy so we can go as a matching pair of sorts. I've based our costume designs off the descriptions of two spirits from an ancient legend I once heard as a child. They are mostly complete but I still need to work on the props to go with them. Addy looks wonderful in her costume, especially without the mask. I might make some other costumes just for the fun of it.

Meanwhile I've earned again Anna's trust, and she tells me that the spirit she sees is showing her clues. I'll have to probe deeper to see if she will share with me what these clues might be and put my mind to helping to solve the puzzle with her. She doesn't trust a single word from Mith, whether it be spoken or written, and I feel it might be best if I limit my own contact with him to almost none in order to preserve Anna's trust in me. One breakthrough of note is that I seem to be one of few people who can touch Anna without causing her to feel a cold deathly feeling. At first when I'd tried to hug her in comfort she pushed me away with great fear because of the feelings that had come in her previous contact with others, but while we sat listening to Ozymandius I was able to take her hand in mine for a moment, and she realized my touch did not cause her pain as the touch of others did. This makes me glad that I can be a comfort to her in this way until this whole thing is over. I only hope it ends soon, because I cannot stand to see her in such fear and pain and doubt, and my ears weep at her continued stuttering.

Addison and I are growing closer each day. Our relationship is blooming into something ever more wonderful. I admit, I still feel a little awkward kissing her, but I overcome these feelings in love for her and my mind is eased. I kissed her deeply the other night before retiring for sleep at the Wild Surge, and that kiss once begun didn't feel awkward at all, except I felt maybe I was being too agressive too soon. Addison didn't think so though, and she was very happy and that makes me happy. I've caught myself blushing once or twice when I've thought of her lately and daydreamed of just being with her. I've thought again of making a new set of courting garb, but if I were to wear it some people would know I was in love, and would likely ask about whom I an in love with. I wish I could freely proclaim my love for her in public, and she proclaim her love for me. I still need ot find as well more about Toran's regard for a woman to woman relationship such as this, is it acceptable within his church? If not I will be forced to renounce my faith, as I love Addison more than I do any god. There must be a Toranite I can talk to about this so that I can ease my mind of this burden of doubt at very least.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 24, 2006, 09:11:24 AM: Entry 69 - Wedlar, Jenra 25, 1402

My birthday came and went some 20 days ago and I didn't even realize it at the time. I am now 22 years of age. Addison is 38, she tells me, and 16 years my elder. Funny how such a difference doesn't seem to matter to my heart in the slightest. I wonder upon which date her own birthday falls? It would be nice to know.

Her fingers and hands hold such a soft touch and gentleness... I slept well again, for once, in her arms the nightmares didn't visit me. Only such peace knowing she was there with me fell upon my mind yesternight, knowing she would protect me as she always has.

Yet, the darkness cast upon the world by Bloodstone's shadow looms over us all. Many fear a final battle is coming in these next days. There was even a meeting at the Lelion Arms, which I failed to attend, to discuss what was known about a presumed offensive in the works, and what strategy to use in defending against it. Kyle spoke of a strange man who used a staff to see appearing in Hlint, though I didn't see the man myself, he thinks the man to be a scout or some such for Bloodstone's forces.

While I wish I could be upon the front lines of the coming battles, and take the fight to Blood himself, I realize my skill is yet limited. Perhaps I can be some use in support, tending to the safety of those behind the lines of the fighting. Addison also wishes me to stay clear of the front, she worries she may lose me in this war. I worry too, for her. While I love her deeply, I know her skills could be of great use in the coming fighting and the world could use such a strong woman to turn the tide. She most likely will not fight at the front, for fear of leaving myself and Calvin behind without her care forever, though I would not stop her if she chose to go fight. If she does fall before I do, I will raise Calvin for her myself, and I should talk to her about getting the legal documents prepared for such an eventuality, though I pray it never comes.

I received a letter from Mr. Mith, he wishes me to keep him informed of Anna's life while he is away from her. I think I can do that for him to help ease his mind and heart I hope. I will talk to Anna to hear her wishes on the subject when next I see her. She certainly does seem to be thinking more clearly as time passes without his pressence and constant watching. She spoke more clearly about the things she'd seen in her visions so far, and even produced a drawing of a man from one vision who may be part of the key to solving this riddle. I proposed that she run the picture through the Dragon's Whisper with questions asking anyone to report if they know the man, or know anythign of him. Perhaps with wider circulation someon might step forth with more information to help us. There were also a book and an alter in her visions, the book seeming the most important clue. I asked her if she could draw a picture of the book as well, but she said she couldn't, but she'd know it one sight. She said if she has another vision with either the book or alter she will draw them in detail. I feel if we can determine the type and purpose of the alter, we might pinpoint it's location and thus gain another clue. And the book, if it can be identified more clearly will certainly yield more knowledge to us, especially if it can be tracked down. So far, two possibilities have been proposed about the book to my knowledge, that it may eithe be a book of legend, stolen from one of the planes, or it may be the spellbook of a lich (I think one of Bloods generals). We will put the pieces of the puzzle together eventually, we have to to save Anna, and possibly Mith and Rhynn as well.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 25, 2006, 05:37:25 AM: Entry 70 - Tunar, Febra 10, 1402

With a great victory also comes a great loss, several of them actually. Sinthrar Bloodstone is dead, yet at least one of his servants still holds some power and now controls Pranzis. Pranzis, the city that has long been the seat of power in Layonara and which houses both a temple of Toran and Rofireins Citadel. I imagine it won't be long before the forces now occupying Pranzis befoul thouse temples if they have not already done so. Addison and I snuck back in to Pranzis last night to visit our home there in the Haft Lake district, our home which once we leave we're likely not to see again for some time due to the occupation. At least Addy's nother and son Calvin are safe in Fort Hope in the Crimson Shield guild hall. Further price our victory against Bloodstone is a column of smoke and ash rising into the sky from the east to block out the sun. Things will be getting cold, and certainly much darker. I hope it is not too long before the cloud settles, or the lands may fall into chaos as food grows scarce and plants and animls alike begin to die. With darkness overshadowing everything I will not be surprised if the Drow come forth from the Underdark to attempt their own takeover of the surface.

More pleasant news to me, something I can write of that lifts my spirits some in this day, I have made for Addison a set of Courting Garb as she wishes to follow the traditons of the Old Culture with me. I have left it undyed for her so she may choose her own colors for me since by tradition the Courting Garb is to be made by the efforts of the one whom will wear it. I know Addy has no skill for stitching cloth, let alone silk, so it will be enough that she dyes her garment herself. Further news that bodes good is that I spoke with Geldar about the teachings of Toran regarding a marriage of people of the same gender. He told me that he has seen nowhere in Torans teachings anything against such a union, but he also said that a cleric of Toran might rule against it and if so his word would be for naught. When I spoke to him, I told him I was asking on behalf of a friend who is a woman in love with another woman who follows Toran, which is truth since Addy loves me and I do follow Toran myself. In this way I was able to ask him without too much risk of exposing our love in case it was something forbidden and looked down upon. So, Geldar may suspect, but he cannot be certain, not that I believe he would tell anyone about Addy and I, unless he felt it hsi duty to do so. I imagine much of society would still persecute Addy and I, though Toran's church may not itself have ill against us. I am at a point where I do not care about the persecution that boldly confessing our love publicly might bring. Addy wishes us to wear our garb in private only, but I may take to wearing mine in public as well, as it is meant to be worn.

An odd thought occured to me today. At our wedding I have to wonder if the Viza Na'Ruvan must both be male since we are both female, or if the gender specifics of the tradition no longer apply in our instance. I will have to think about this and perhaps re-write the traditions to accomodate such relationships as ours. Since I believe I am the last practitioner of the Old Culture, save Addison now who also practices with me, I believe I can take it upon myself to alter the traditons so long as I keep true to their spirit and intent.

More happy news, I slept soundly again, no mightmares visited me with screams of dying children. I feel pehaps I have overcome my perceived failure of the children at the lake through my valiant efforts to stop Blood's forces in Pranzis. I found courage and inspiration to fight for the children along side Caighd at the west gate. I gave up my own guilt for losing a fight that couldn't have been won by the lake so many days past. Our little Snow Angels will one day soon awake I hope, and though the world might be covered in a dark cloud, the shadow of Bloodstone is removed and they will have that hope for a happier future some day. Today when I fight, it is for the children, each of them from Calvin to those whose names i will never know. I fight for their tomorrows, I fight to make their world safe today, tomorrow, and every day for as long as I draw breath upon this world. So now with both Purpose and True Love to make whole the Peace of my Heart I will live life through it's darkest storms and it's brightest days of splendor. I am today my destiny, my name, Heart of True Peace, Treana Min E'Zoenna.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 25, 2006, 09:19:15 PM: Entry 71 - Febra 19, 1402

Today we committed to eachother to begin the year of courting under the traditions of the Old Culture. Addison and I now wear for eachother our sets of Courting Garments. We donned our garb and kissed in the inn in Port Hapshire, begining the year. We then changed and went to Tyrian and Creighton's costume party to celebrate their marriage with them. Though we arived dressed in the costumes I'd made for us, we left wearing our courting garb openly among our friends. It was a feeling of utter freedom and joy to walk out hand in hand with my love and proclaim to the bustling citizens of Lelion our love for one another.

From there we made our way to Port Hampshire and on to Fort Hope where we bravely portaled into Pranzis. Our hearts sunk at seeing theonce great city in near ruin. Great chunks of rubble and stone lay in the streets with garbage piled around them. The people huddled in fear as they passed by, those few who even dared venture out of their homes. We went to the Haft Lake district to look at our own home, and thankfully there seemed little to no damage there. After entering our home together and locking the door behind us, we sat for a few minutes talking and imagining running an underground resistance force form our home to help retake Pranzis. I don't believe Broergar's forces know who we are as they didn't even bother ot take our names down when we marched defeated from Pranzis some days ago. I feel if we are careful we just might be able to blend in enough with the rest of the locals to accomplish such an underground. I will not easilly abandon the home I was just getting used to loving. I will not see Addy's dreams crushed, nor those of the people of Pranzis who wish to be freed again from oppressive rule. I will find some way to aid the liberation, be it covertly, or as part of the forces that one day march upon the city to clean out the vermin that now reside within it's walls.

Whether Pranzis is free again or not, on the 19th day of the 2nd month of the year 1403, Addison and I shall wed. I hope it would be possible to have our wedding there in our backyard behind our home in Pranzis, but if not we will choose another place together.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 26, 2006, 07:28:51 AM: Entry 72 - Threas, Febra 26, 1402

Well, the news is getting out of the engagement between myself and Addison. Though Addy seemed a little upset at first, I suppose she feared as I did that more people would not be accepting of our relationship. Surprisingly, none have yet to object outright to us being together as a couple who will one day wed. Though, I do wonder after Kyle, he was very shocked at the news and I fear it makes him uncomfortable, but I hope that he will remain a friend and see that Addy & I are truly in love with eachother and happy together. I tried to explain to him that I've never felt closer to anyone than I feel with Addy.

Addison went away on a trip to the underdark with some friends to mine for a very rare gem. I hope they are able to go safely together, and having heard stories of the dangers of the underdark I fear for her life. She assured me she wouldn't go at all with them if those in her group did not seem reliable enough to entrust her life with, though I know once gathered it is sometimes hard to turn back from such a journey in the face of peers. I pray she has the strength to turn back if they are unfit for the journey, or the strength to see them all safely through it if they decide to go ahead. I suppose I shall find out soon enough how things have gone as the day of her return should be near, if not already upon us. One day I'll go with her, when I'm better rested and perhaps more skilled than I am now.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 27, 2006, 06:59:37 AM: Entry 73 - Freas, Mar 13, 1402

A day or two ago I met Addison's mother at last. She was not happy to hear of the love Addison and I share for eachother, and that we would be marrying. This of course provoked a fight between the two of them, there was lots of shouting, a threat or two made of landing Addy's mother out on the street alone, etc. Finally the two calmed somewhat and Addy's mother agreed to at least try to get to know me and understand the love we share. I am hopeful that perhaps one day she will look upon me as a second daughter, though I understand that in the general conventions of most of society the relationship Addison and I have together is one that is taboo, viewed as sacrilidge and heresy of the worst kind. It's amazing the difference of tollerances among the Dragon-called in comparison to the general population of the world. We lay aside some of our differences for the common good and in so doing gain greater insight into the cultures of those we once only hated on basis of race, religion, or whatnot and learn to judge the individuals rather than the lot of them. At least, some of us do to some degree or another.

Yet another irony... I came upon Rhynn, with Thomas nearby her. She seemed in distress, and he sat there with her to comfort her still, even after she had been the one to give testimony against him. I have seen Rhynn at her wits end before, and perhaps I'll see her there again, but this seemed to be something more such as utter defeat to her. After speaking with them both for a short time, I could see that Thomas still loves her as he always has, and that he is perhaps the one man who can truly bless her with a real love strong enough to heal the wrongs done her in her past. It saddens me that in my zeal to see justice done, in my striving to protect Rhynn from his advances when it seemed she and Freldo were still in love, in my own dislike for the lecherous man I imagine him to be, I was a driving force behind his persecution for the small lies he told under the name of a being a paladin of Rofirein. While I still believe as a paladin he should not have lied, in any way, I feel guilt at the pain my own actions have caused him. There is a true devotion in Thomas to loving Rhynn, whether she returns his love or not. I only hope that I sense true and that he is not simply trying to take advantage of her as so many before have done.

I have also learned through Talen, that Anna no longer trusts me. I had just gone to the bank to deposite some funds and had run into Talen there. I stopped to be polite and ask how the cape I'd sold to him was working for him and to just say hello and be socialable. That's when Mr. Mith walked in the door. I was surprised to see him in Hlint after his promise to stay away from Anna, and I remarked as such and began to tell him how it seemed lmost as if Anna was avoiding me these last few days. That's when Talen piped in that she had been indeed avoiding me. He said she no longer trusted me after the event of my lying to her about Mr. Mith being a different person that first night when I had learned from him his theory that a ghost might posses or influence her somehow. I had apologized to Anna for that, and she had said she forgave me. I had shared with her my deepest secret to prove my trust in her and gain back her own trust in me, and she had told me she trusted me again... So when I heard from Talen otherwise I was, and still am deeply hurt. Everything I have done in relation to Anna has been in an effort to help her with her life and her problems, and now it is thrown in my face as wasted effort. I told Talen to let Anna know that the least she could do is tell me heself she didn't want to see me anymore, I would have left her alone then instead of wasting my cares upon her as I have. Better yet, I will wait until I see her again myself to confront her about this.

It seems I have grown distant from many of my friends. Not intentionally of course, but through the workings of life in general. Anna no longer trusts me, Rhynn and I have talked so little for so long, Kyle seems appalled by my choice ot love Addison, Talen still harbors some hurt in his heart and for good reason... Thank goodness I still have the love of Addison to keep me. Perhaps it is a season for new friends, though I cannot fully let go of the old ones either, nor would I wish to. I have met some good people of late who may become such friends to me. Ecthgow the Dwarf, Jenna Pandorn, even Ellis in some way seems to wish friendship as self-centered and annoying as she is. And there are others who I also see almost daily that touch my life in their own ways, perhaps in a more subtle way. I don't think I could list all of the people I know who've touched my life in some small yet positive way.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 28, 2006, 07:10:20 AM: Entry 74 - Satari, Mar 28, 1402

The time passes too slowly and too quickly all at once, again. I can hardly wait another day to, well...I can hardly wait another day for Addison. Yet at the same time I wish there were more hours in each day for us to spend together.

These last days marked my first considerable successes in crafting gold rings and amulets. I could not have done it without the help of Kavil who is learning to enchant and who indeed enchanted many of the fine alexandrites I brought to him along with Addison. He seemed upset with himself that he failed on as many as he did, but I am still overjoyed at the number of those he enchanted successfully. Even I didn't mount much more than about half of what gems he'd enchanted. We're both still learning the new intricacies of these areas of our tradeskills, so some failure is to be expected though it should not discourage us from continuing to practice. My very first success was an amulet of Eagle's Splendor which Addison found a buyer for almost immediately. Other items I made with the gems Kavil enchanted for me were rings & amulets of Cat's Grace, Bull's Strength, and Eagle's Splendor. Addison also brought me a good load of Garnets and Feldspar from a trip she made to Bear Island in Rilara, so I ought to be able to make some more feldspar rings and amulets with their natural protection from death magics.

While Addison was resting I sat on thebenches near the bank in Hlint and ended up having a pretty pleasant conversation with Thomas, of all people. He really isn't such a bad fellow at all, and my first meeting and impression of him I must admit was erroneous. I am glad that he is a forgiving man, and perhaps we will become good friends yet. I still worry that he may hurt Rhynn, who has already been through so much, but he seems to have a genuine love for her in his heart. So, I will give him the chance to prove that love, nurture it, and thus bring both of them into the full bloom of a wonderous and loving relationship. If he fails her I will be dissappointed and saddened once again for Rhynn.

I saw Talen too, and of course the topic of Anna came up. He says the next time I see her she should seem somewhat 'better'. I told him she can come to me when she's ready. I'm through chasing her around and carrying the pain of worry on my heart for her as I had been. If she doesn't want my help I won't force it on her. If she thinks me so evil simply because I am also still a friend to Mr. Mith that she cannot trust me, then I don't want her trust anymore. They are both in such pain right now, in their own ways, and I would have seen that pain ended or at least lessened to the best of my ability as a good friend should but she will not let me help them both. Talen seemed rather smug about the whole situation, and wore a smirk at one point that gives me an uneasy feeling. As though he is taking pleasure in my pain, that he is trusted by Anna and I am not. If that's his heart, I'm a thousand times more glad I did not marry him, and perhaps it would be best to end my friendship with him as well. Not that it is truly friendship if he is indeed taking pleasure in my pain.

I feel so angry and frustrated now after writing of this, I wish Addy were here to embrace me and sooth my heart as she does so well.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 29, 2006, 08:31:34 AM: Entry 75 - Mulnari, Apreal 16, 1402

Addison, first and foremost on my mind, as she should be. She was a little upset at first when I told her I'd ruined the diamond cluster she'd given me, but she forgave me quickly. Now I've just to forgive myself. I had really thought I had a good chance to cut it, and I wanted to make for her a diamond wedding ring, but I failed in the cutting and watched with a broken heart as I turned what could've been a pure sparkling gemstone into dust with one misplaced chiseling. I'll go with Addison to mine more diamonds one day, when I'm more experienced and we both have the backing of a well organized and outfitted group of equally experienced adventurers to back us. It was just a stone after all, and it's my love for Addison, and her's for me that is treasured most between us. All the same I fell asleep crying in her arms.

I met a darkelf named Annun as well. Addison had told me a little about her before, she was once in love with Kavil and he with her, but she abandoned him for a woman she felt closer to. It is something that still scars Kavil's heart today. Annun seemed to wish to speak with me in a supportive way about my relationship with Addison, but we didn't get the chance due to the arival of several others, beginning with Ellis, who interrupted our chat. Perhaps I'll see Annun again sometime soon and we can have that discussion, she seems very nice for a darkelf. A paladin of the Phoenix as she introduced herself.

Ellis is ever her unbalanced self, and I shared a few moments with her in the crafting hall, but not without some profit. She needed some small molds made for her fletching efforts, and I had just returned from digging clay, so I sold her 10 molds for 10 gold each. She surprised me by doing something generous, and added a clump of uncut greenstone to her payment. Perhaps she is learning to be a better person in some regards after all. Wishing to encourage such good behavior, I offered to sell her the two ring's of Cat's Grace she was interested in for 100 gold less each. She said she'd check her bank account to see if she had the funds, but didn't return from doing so. I'm sure she'll catch me when she's able to get those rings. It sounded as though she only wanted one for herself and the other was for a friend, Kell I think was the name, or maybe it was Rell.

Then there's Anna... I went to the Freelancer's for my shift there, on my way I seethed with the hurt and anger Anna's mistrust of me has caused. Even doing my job there, I could not put aside that pain and anger, and I fear I may have scared away a good number of patrons with my glare and demeanor. All the while Anna worked the bar and I could tell she wanted to avoid me, though I suppose even I'd want to avoid me when I'm angry like that. And Talen started getting in my face, I wanted to spit in his. He had the gall to tell me not to speak to Anna in an angry way, yet it's okay for him to smirk in satisfaction while he tells me she no longer trusts me? I don't know how I ever thought I loved that man. Finally I heard Anna tell him she was going to close early and I wondered if she even cared why I was so angry. So I cornered her and told her, and she seemed almost as though she would deny her mistrust of me. She gave me the line that she'd been lied to, followed, spied on, betrayed so much that she didn't know who to trust. I reminded her I'd pledged to do anything she asked to help her get through her time of trouble. No more, if she can't trust me I can't protect her or help her and I'm not wasting anymore of my emotions on her. I told her she can come find me when she's ready to trust me again and then I walked out and sat on the docks for a while crying silently. I'm quitting my job at the Freelancers, I can't be around her anymore.

Ugh...I need to refocus and write about something more positive. I guess I can mention how happy it made me feel to learn that some of my jewelry has been useful to someone. I ended up sitting on the benches outside the bank in Hlint talking to Kira. She told me how valuable the rings and amulet I'd made, that she'd been given by Kinson, have been to her. I didn't know this about her before, but aparently she has some problems with her memory regardng her past or something. I almost thought I should tell her of Nehetsrev, who also has no recollection of his past, or Rain Darsus. It seems a more common problem then I'd have thought among the Dragon-called. In any case, I thought of the panther cloaks I have at home in Pranzis and how one might also help to serve Kira. I told her I'd bring her one the next time I went back home, and she offered to pay for it, though I'd prefer to simply give it as a gift, so I'll give her a real good deal on it to compromise. The bottom line is that it makes me feel good to hear that some of the things I made are being used and valued and appreciated by those who buy them from me, or who are given them as gifts.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 30, 2006, 07:25:26 AM: Entry 76 - Mulnari, Mai 2, 1402

Addy seemed sad and depressed for quite a while yesterday. It seems she feels herself inadaquate in regards to me, as though she is unworthy of my love for her. I wonder sometimes myself is any of us are worthy to be loved, but then I throw that question out and just love people as best as I can anyway. Love doesn't take acount of itself to deem itself worthy or unworthy of whom it bestows itself upon, love just loves. But because I love Addison so much I told her so, and explained to her in my eyes she is more than worthy of my love, and that is the truth. She has been a friend who has always remained close, even when we've dissagreed about some things which seldom happens. She is a lover who is willing to wait until the proper time lest the fruit of love be taken before it is fully ripe. We yearn, both of us, for that day of harvest. In the meantime we nurture and grow with each other and our love continues to flourish even amidst the diversity now upon the face of Layonara.

I feel I've spent far too much time in the crafting houses. I worked my hands to the point of blisters and even still I continued. As the blisters heal I am certain they will be replaced by hard, caloused flesh. So much for soft smooth hands with which to caress my love...perhaps in time, if I take a break from my crafting, my hands will return to such a state as to be nearly like the skin of a babe. Is it worth it to keep crafting? Heck, I'm probably being too worrysome over this. I know Addy will love me weather my hands are caloused or not, and I will love her.

On the bright side again, our sales of my crafted jewelry continue to grow and we are behind on orders. That was of course why I worked so hard in the crafting houses. Addison and I returned from mining a good deal of alexandrite and when all the clusters were cut, there were 132 gems needing polish. So I polished them all... That's when the blisters came. Afterwards we decided to go mine for some gold because we'll need it after we get those fine gemstones enchanted. This time I'd like to get a few to enhance each ability, rather than limiting the sellection to Cat's Grace, Bull's Strength and Eagle's Splendor, which means we'll have to track down Addy's other enchanter friend to enchant what Kavil cannot.

On our way to go mine gold we ran across Kyle Pandorn, and I recalled how I'd been mening to talk to Addy about sellecting someone to preside over our wedding ceremony, since it seemed Anna would not be a good choice any longer with the problems she has. So I whispered to Addy my suggestion for Kyle to be the one and asked if she agreed. She said she did, so I then asked Kyle if he would accept the responsibility. Jokingly I mentioned he'd not have to kiss anyone, and he said he knew that, having read the scroll given him by Talen detailing the ceremony when he had first been asked to be a Viza Na'Ruvan by Talen. Kyle accepted so it appears we have our A'Tulsaiir Na'Biirisa (Speaker and Binder) sellected. Now we are faced with sellecting Viza Na'Ruvan, and I must decide should they both be men, or in our case does gender matter? The point of the Viza Na'Ruvan is that they are to be trustworthy witnesses to the bride and groom, to determine from a kiss whether their hearts are true for eachother or prone to stray. If Addy and I both being women can be excited for eachother's love, then it stands to reason that a rule of gender no longer applies I think, so I will tell Addy she may sellect whomever she wishes. Now I just need to decide myself who I will trust with that duty and honor on my behalf and ask them to see if they will accept.

Rhynn threw herself into the pond in Hlint when I stopped to talk to her...She says she was bored. I don't understand her sometimes. Anyway, at least I can laugh at the memory of her splashing about in the water.

Not long after I went into the crypts to lay to rest some undead and round out my purse a little before making a deposit to the bank. As I went about my work I stumbled upon Mr. Mith and Talen. I felt sick to my stomach at seeing Talen and made to leave. Mr. Mith called to me, and I paused a moment before going on up and out of the crypts. For some reason, I feel beyond a doubt his love for Anna is genuine, and not an act to get me to spy upon her for him or to deceive her, yet she seems so certin he's out to destroy her. I am thankful I do not need to be caught between the two anymore, though I still long deep within to be able to heal whatever wounds they have that are keeping them apart. I've looked at things through many angles regarding them. I used to wonder how the two had ever fallen in love to begin with, as different from one another as they seem. Now all I can wonder is what truly tore them apart. Was it his betrayal of her with Rhynn even though she denies that that would bother her? Or is it some spirit that posseses her as he claim? There is evidence to support both angles depending upon how one looks at it all. Why do I contiue to worry so much about them? Because deep within I truly do love my friends. That's why it hurts so much that Anna doesn't trust me that I have abandoned her now, until she can return to me in trust.

There is ever pain in this world, it never ends. We fight for victory against it, and though we win battles and defeat some of it's champions, there are always others to take the places of those defeated. Yet what can we do but fight on against it? For if we stop our fight, pain overwhelms us and consumes us. But likewise if we fight too long and hard we become weary and fail, and pain overwhelms us anyway. So, we then must find a place in our hearts in between, a place where our fight against pain never ceases, yet never wears us down. It is not the place where no feeling is found that we seek, for feelings are what make us alive, to go on without feeling is to be dead in our hearts. My heart has been dead once, it was resurrected by people who became friends. I live, in pain and joy, and all things in between. I cannot let my heart go to that dead place again. Neither can I idly watch as someone I care for stands at that crossroads of choosing between living and dying in the heart. Perhaps this is the basis of faith for those who follow Xeen, to know that whether they are feeling joy or pain, they are alive and that it is something to be thankful for. I never truly understood their faith before, yet here perhaps I have found the key to it in my own meditations. Yet Toran is my guide, my diety to follow still, for my heart yearns for justice. There is ever pain in this world, it never ends.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on July 01, 2006, 07:24:38 AM: Entry 77 - Tunar, Mai 17, 1402

Today, while traveling with Addison and some others on Dregar, I realized I'd been working so hard lately on my gemcrafting and other things that I'd all but forgotten the sleepers, the children of Karthy. At risk of running into Anna whose pressence I no longer wish to impede upon, I made my way alone to the temple where the little ones are being cared for. I entered the temple quietly and this time I did not simply sit crying sillently and without control. Tears did flow no doubt, but I moved from cot to cot, child to child, stopping at each to lay upon them amulets of copper and malachite fashioned into the shape of the cross of Toran. Such pendants are known to protect against disease, and though what keeps these children sleeping may not be disease, perhaps the pendants will help in some small way anyway. As I laid each pendant upon each child I prayed a short prayer from my heart, in different words for each, but with the hope that someday soon they would awaken with no memory of their deaths, for such a thing is a terrible burden for any child to bear. I prayed as well that if they dream in this unnatural sleep, their dreams would also remain on happier days and memories, and that their little minds would be free from nightmares. After my prayers were all done, I stayed for just a short while to meditate before returning to North Fort where I waited for a time for Addison to return for me as we'd arranged.

Previously to my visit to the sleepers, as I'd mentioned, I'd been hard at work with Addison both working on my gemcrafting and gathering materials for it. When we'd gathered what we needed to have some gems enchanted we went to the wizard's tower not far from Pranzis to meet with Essimon. He wasn't alone there when we met him, there was a man named Rodlin with him. The man had the nerve to taunt Addison and by blowing a kiss at her, I challenged him as tradition requires, first by word and when he would not be deterred by word alone, by drawing my blades until he backed off. He looked from his stance and build to be a man who could put me in the ground without much thought, but I was not about to let his attentions on Addy go unchallenged. Others pressent counted me a fool, and our traditons foolish. I know better, and I do not count their opinions with any measure of weight. Aside from that, I had the feeling the sod might've been purposely trying to pick a fight due to his own perceived inadaquacies. Such men aren't worth the dirt they walk upon, but Addy seemed to value the man's opinions, and perhaps friendship.

I ran into Captain Saltpeter in the goblin wastes near Hlint, and despite my general dislike for the man from his past attitudes toward women, we talked for a moment or two. I asked what he was doing landbound instead of out sailing the seas, he answered by way of looking up to the perpetual cloud above and I understood. It is hard to navigate without the stars on the open seas, and he also mentioned the seas were more rough and cold under storms of late with the changing weather. He is quite a character, the ol' sea-dog Captain Saltpeter, perhaps not so bad as my first thoughts of him.

So many other things have happened of late, I could fill this whole journal with the ones left untold, but most are either not of great consequence to me, or are things I'd rather keep close to my heart and not risk detachment in writing of.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on July 02, 2006, 06:42:14 AM: Entry 78 - Wedlar, Junar 4, 1402

While I have done a bit of crafting, the bulk of the last few days I have spent resting from my endeavors. I used up most of the gold we had in storage at our home, so I will have to venture out to get more if I can put together a worthy group, or I might wait until I see Addison again and go with her. She has been gone a few days now, and I wonder where she is. I hope she hasn't gone and died foolishly and lost her last two strands. I'm sure she hasn't, but then I have to ask again where could she have gone for so long without even letting me know?

In any case, it turns out my sitting around Hlint doing little of anything hasn'tbeen a total waste. I was able to make several sales of jewelry to friends and strangers alike. The money I've earned will be very helpful in purchasing the materials to craft more of the expensive enchanted alexandrite in gold rings and amulets I've been making of late. Until Addison returns I will have to try speaking with the enchanters on my own to seek their aid, as I'm out of enchanted gems for the most part too.

I'm worried for Rhynn. She seems to have lost her own identity somewhere along the path she's chosen. I've noticed for some time now that she emulates in clothing and mannerisms those she is looking up to for the moment. I've seen shades of Freldo, Mith, and now most recently Ozymandius in her behavior. I've even heard her talking like Durr'thak in that odd slang-like dialect. But, the Rhynn I came to know upon my arrival in Hlint seems gone from her, a mere memory in my mind. I have lost my ability to relate with her over time and distance as we've grown apart.

I still worry for Anna somewhat as well. She who has been my council in some of my most trying times of need is now beyond my means to reach as well. I don't know if she's a ghost in her as Mr. Mith suggests, or if she's simply withdrawn into a deep depression of her own from his betrayal of her and from the other pressures in her life. It doesn't matter to me which, I only wish she were well in her mind again. However, I cannot for my own sanity continue chasing her about trying to help her with her problems, it only seems to make them worse anyway. It is better for her that I stay away, at least until she's ready to come to me.

I wonder how many more loved ones I will lose to sorrow's grip in these coming times? Is there a curse upon us all that we become so filled with the woes of our lives we will turn away those closest to us that would seek to aid us? A woman named Abigail, who Rhynn had once told me loved her, has killed herself in the Sielwood by hanging. It makes me wonder. I know for myself, even should Addy pass, I will not return to that dark place of living death without hope or feeling, I will fight it with all my being to remain one of the living.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on July 03, 2006, 07:15:43 AM: Entry 79 - Threas, Junar 19, 1402

Well, I sold it. The wonderfully, exceptionaly crafted amulet of owl's wisdom that marked my finest acheivement thus far in gemcrafting, and I sold it. It is a beautiful piece, and I hope that it's new owner, Silverhand, appreciates its quality to the fullest. For a mere 8,500 gold coins I let go of that beauty. I guess, and I hope that one day there will be other pieces in my catalogue of works that match that one in it's craftsmanship. In the mean time I'll miss that wonderful amulet of gold and enchanted alexandrite.

Other than that, not much of note has happened these past few days. Addison has been helping prepare food for Rain & Sonya's upcomming wedding, and I've been crafting my hind end off making jewelry in the crafting halls. We also made a couple trips for gold and the like, and during one trip to the cave filled with Kenku and Hillhounds I fell again. Oh, and I have finally visited Lar, I guess that's new. Addison helped me there after I'd died once on the way myself. She had come with Jaleel to help me return to my grave, and in pressing on together, the ogres flanked us in our fight with them, quickly overpowering Jaleel and forcing me to flee toward the front and Addison. So, after visiting Lar to rest, Addison and I returned Jaleel to where he had fallen. Perhaps not such boring days after all.

Addison was crying at one point, she has gotten an idea in her head that we as heroes are now obsolete with Bloodstone gone and out of the way for good. I tried to convince her there would also be evil in one form or another to fight against and that we were still needed. She also fears that Calvin will grow up to be an adventurer, like ourselves. I see it as something he should be allowed to decide on his own, but did not say so to Addison. Perhaps he'll have no desire for adventure and wish to lead a quiet life as a farmer or tradesman. Only time will tell. I have to admit I wouldn't mind settling down perhaps. It is like Addy says about herself, there are two sides of me, the one that relishes the excitement of adventuring, and the one that only wishes to live out a peaceful life together with her and Calvin.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on July 04, 2006, 09:03:24 AM: Entry 80 - Satari, Jular 7, 1402

These last few days... Addison was disparaging over not being able to craft anything nearly as exquisite or lasting as my jewelry. So, I did my best to cheer her and talked her into starting weapon-smithing, a tradeskill I think she will have a natural knack for. At first she was very doubtful, but I continued to encourage her and offer my support and before long she had crafted first two copper daggers, and then some other copper weapons. I encouraged her further by suggesting we could use the first two daggers in our wedding ceremony and suggested that if she worked hard enough at her new craft she might even by then be making bronze, or iron daggers that we could use instead. She seemed to get more and more excited about it with each new success, and I'm very happy for her.

After she worked hard enough at her weaponsmithing that she decided she wanted to take a break we decided we'd take Ecthgow to the gold mines in Rilara as promised. Unfortunately, while we were journeying to Lelion to sail from there, Ecthgow was called back on urgeant business, so we'll have to try our trip another time. I'm honored that he counts me a close enough friend to have shared with me his clan name, and the story of his family, as well as his own intentions to retake their ancestral home beneath the Grey Peaks from the Drow who now occupy it.

In any case, Addy and I ended up going home to Prnzis. There we made some rings set with three garnets in gold. It was a fun new venture in gemcrafting for me, but only after I had to get new tools which Addy helped me to buy since I was short on the gold coin I carried with me. We bumped into Ozymandius in the crafting hall there as well, but he didn't really have time to chat much so I will have to hear his story of the Blood War another time. Next, after crafting the new rings, Addy and I went on a trip that took us all the way to North Fort, collecting the heads from giants on the way to fulfill the request made by the guardsman there at North Fort.

I decided to rest a while at North Fort and afterward left on my own to head for Northpoint and the portal from there back to Hlint. I almost got lost along the way, but went carefully and remembered the route after all. Upon arriving in Hlint I was in time to see Rhynn being handed a letter to be delivered to Farmer Part in Rilara, she invited myself and others gathered in teh area to accompany her on the trip. It had been so long since I'd had the opportunity to go on a juant with Rhynn, I felt compelled to go if only to undo some of the distance that had grown between us in our friendship. Alas, our friendship is doomed and no more. Rhynn proved changed too much toward the tendencies of evil as she demonstrated by opening the letter entrusted to her before we were scarcely out the gates of Hlint. I also was sad to see that of all the group, I was the only person honest enough to protest such action, and indeed others among our company encouraged her. Rhynn's response of her new philosophy along the lines of, "If you can do something, and no one can stop you, and you want to do it, you can," is certainly born of selfishness, and selfishness in the traditions of my heritage is considered the root of all evil.

I made to leave company nearly at once, until I decided that since none among them were honest there must be at least one to be truthful with Farmer Part. So, instead of abandoning the group I went ahead with them to Rilara, and on the way I informed Rhynn of my intent to tell Farmer Part what she had done if she was not honest with him herself. Her reply to my encouragements to be honest was simply, "Why would I want to do that?" Upon ariving to Farmer Part's home Rhynn delivered the letter and Farmer Part invited us all in for dinner, and since Rhynn shown that she would not be honest of her transgression, I volunteered the information to him in her stead. Needless to say, my noble and honest action didn't earn me any friendship from those in the company, Farmer Part was a bit upset but graciously and forgivingly kept his offer for dinner open to us all.

In the face of such nobility I could not refuse to partake of his hospitality, though I thought it strange at the time, so I ate along with the others and the meal was quite good, but not as good as the food Addison can make. Then dessert was served, pie. It must have been drugged or hexed, for soon all of us who had eaten of it began to tire and fall asleep. And then He appeared, Rhynn's old master Saebhell. I puzzled out who he was just before my eyes became too heavy for me to keep open any longer. My last glimpse of the waking world held Anna attempting to confront Saebhell on her own.

She must have failed in confronting him as when we woke, she was with us. And a rude awakening it was, we were inside a dungeon or crypt of some sort and being attacked almost at once by undead. Thankfully, we were all still with our weapons, armor and other gear and able to defend ourselves handilly whiel we began to assess our situation. As a group we worked our way through the dark corridors of the dungeon which we would later discover to be only a nightmare, a dream our minds were trapped in. After passing through a chamber with two large crystals, one suspended over the other with energies arching in jagged bolts between them, we descended further and encountered a lone being, not unlike in appearance to a small angel. We learned from this being that we were trapped in a dream, or a dream-crystal, and that he indeed was the consciousness of the dream-crystal made mannifest. He explained that he had been forced to serve Saebhell for a long time, and that he no longer wished to serve him, but that he didn't wish to die either. So, he proposed instead that we destroy the crystals in the chamber above which would destroy his power and cause him to sleep for perhaps hundreds of years, but that he would then be free of Saebhell.

We did as he instructed and soon found ourselves sucked through a tear in the dream to another place, a beautiful island shrine, where stood Rhynn and our captor Saebhell. Quickly we surrounded Saebhell and were about to demand our freedom when he changed into some sort of demon-beast. We fought him until he was subdued and nearing his last breaths, and then Rhynn took his life, plunging her dagger into his chest. Repeatedly. Until she was covered in his blood. While I understand her need for vengeance that amount of violence in her actions wasn't nescessary, not when her foe was already defeated and dead. Soon the second dream-world dissolved around us and we truly awoke in Saebhells castle-tower near the burned-out looking dream-crystal. At first Rhynn wished the crystal destroyed, but we told her of how it's own consciousness had helped us to escape and aid her. Then Lia wished to take the crystal back to the tower of the Arcane Alliance, surely so that they could study it and subdue it to their own whims. I was proud of Anna who stood against Lia to have the crystal kept safe elsewhere where the being inside could indeed obtain the rest and freedom he had paid the price for in aiding us.

Leaving the castle behind, I believe Rhynn burned it to the ground for all thebad memories for her it held, we all parted ways. I will company no more with Rhynn, her selfish nature apparently now her only desire, I cannot abide with such. As well, I may not travel with the others, since they have shown themselves lacking of honesty by not standing against Rhynn in the opening of that letter, regardless of that it turned out to be part of Saebhell's trick to capture Rhynn. There was no way any of us could have known the letter was but an instrument of his deceit at the time, and so the trust shown to Rhynn in being given the letter to deliver should never have been allowed to be violated, much less the violation of trust encouraged by some. I find it ironic, that now that I have learned to value honesty in everything through the loss of trust of Anna, that she herself would be among those who lifted not a finger to stop Rhynn from opening that letter and violating the trust placed upon her.

And speaking of Anna, she is no longer with child, though when I tried to ask her of the twins she once carried she indicated that they hadn't been born. I do not know what that means, perhaps they were still-born? Regardless, she is or was a close friend to me, and I mourn her loss. Does she trust me again? I don't know, but time will tell if she comes to me or not. I still will not pursue her, her last wishes known to me being that I stay away from her for her fears that I spy on behalf of Mr. Mith.

I returned home to Pranzis and sent a letter via falcon to M'lanna to let her know what has happened to me and where I have been. I pray she did not worry too much in my absence. I pray also to see her again soon and to rest in her comforting embrace.

Forgiveness is that which absolves the selfish acts of past transgressions to make them as not. In loving others one must be willing to forgive. Yet the puzzle remains when is such forgiveness granted? Do we continually forgive each transgression and allow those we love to continue to walk a path of selfishness without true repentance, watching them step further into ruination with each passing day? Or, do we withold our forgiveness for the time when they show repentance for their selfishness and strive to return to the path of love themselves? How do we know when the repentance we see is true or a ruse only to regain our own good graces and favor?
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on July 05, 2006, 08:20:05 AM: Entry 81 - Sunra, Jular 22, 1402

I'm so proud! Addison's weaponsmithing skills have progressed to allow her success making bronze weapons. It won't be long and she'll be making iron ones, and then adamantium ones. She even made two new daggers of bronze that we can use instead of the copper ones at our wedding and they should hold a sharper edge than the copper.

Unfortunately, she's been called away on some urgeant business elsewhere for the last few days and I miss her sorely. I've been mucking about looking for things to do to occupy my time. So, I ended up with Ecthgow, Nepp', Silverhand, and Drogo up in the Berghagens and up past Shoufal. We were thinking of trying to make our way to Ulgrid's, but ended up turning back when the giants and maur proved to be sapping our resources more than we'd hoped. Still, no one died among us, so I count our venture successful even if we didn't get to Ulgrid's. I have to giggle a bit at remembering how nervous the boys all seemed to be that if something should happen to me Addy would do dreadful things to them. Thankfully they didn't fawn over me too much.

Lannaminimmur - Love of no end
E'Lanna - True love
Endulanna - Enduring love
Biirzoenlanna - Comforting love
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on July 06, 2006, 01:44:48 AM: Entry 82 - Augra 5, 1402

Today marks another sad day in the lands. A great hero, at least in heart if not renown, has fallen. I was with Glenn Thendor as he bravely fought giants in the deserts of Dregar, to his last and fianl breath. Would that I could have poured my potion of healing into his mouth only a moment sooner and perhaps his passing would not have occured. I did not know Glenn well, but what little I did see of his life proved to me he was a great man, of noble heart and generous spirit.

We, that is Addison, Kavil, Amy and myself, carried his remains to the temple of Folian S'pae south of Vale. There we laid him to rest in the care of the priests of his god.

Next I see Bumblebee I'll inform him of Glenn's passing so that he may print it in the next issue of the Dragon's Whisper. Everyone should know of the passing of this good man, Glenn Thendor.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on July 07, 2006, 08:58:14 AM: Entry 83 - Tunar, Augra 24, 1402

While initially it was my intent to have Bumblebee run an obituary for Glenn to honor the fallen hero, I have come to decide that it is something that someone more close to Glenn in life should most likely do. This realization hit me after Addison and I broke the news to Nepp' in the smithy...he was shocked, fell to his knees, and lamented as well about how the news would affect Ash when she heard. He seemed to think it best that he find Ash and be the one to deliver the news of Glenn's passing, so I will at very least give him some time to do so before speaking Bumblebee about an obituary.

In other significant events, Addison is now working with making iron weapons, and she produced some really nice iron daggers from her efforts already. I've put the one she gave me into my personal chest in our room for safe-keeping until our wedding. Who knows, she may have a set of adamantium blades made by then? We will see. I'm just so excited for her and her love for crafting weapons. She also made for herself a silk night-gown much like my own, but dyed red instead, and it looks absolutely lovely on her. She's shanged the look of her armor too, and now it looks much like my own but with lavender trimmings and longer sleeves. I still think I might add some full-length silk sleeves to my own, just to help keep my arms warmer in this ever colder world.

Speaking of our wedding, she and I still haven't sellected our Viza Na'Ruvan's and we must both do so soon so we can spend some time preparing them for the ceremony. I'll also have to re-write the ceremony outline I'd once copied from grandfather's notes, since for our wedding there will be no groom as such, but two brides. I guess I've got my work cut out for me. As odd as it sounds, I've considered asking Ecthgow to stand as my Viza Na'Ruvan, simply because he seems one of the most trustworthy and dependable of my friends at pressent. I would ask Silool again, but Addy had mentioned she was thinking of asking her even though I'm not supposed to know who she'll pick by tradition. So much yet to plan and time is running out.

I had a long talk with the lass, Nyyana. She was upset because she'd stood for what she felt was right and the people she was with turned against her for it. The situation was that her group had been tasked with recovering a shield with magical properties, owever the possessor of the shield was a man who'd become insane from those very same properties of the shield. When they approahed this mad-man, some of the group promised not to take his shield from him while he slept, though they obviously had no intent of keeping their word to him. Nyanna, being of good conscience, tried to protect the man's shield and have them uphold their promise since she felt they had all promised as a group not to take the shield from him. The others turned on her and took the shield anyway, which caused the poor man to have an outburst of sorts and he attempted to claw off his own face. Nyyana explained that the others simply didn't seem to care about the well-being of the man after they took the shield and broke their word to him, they didn't even try to ensure he received any kind of proper care for his condition. In any case, she herself felt badly so I comforted her a bit by explaining some of the principals taught under the ways of the Old Culture. Every thought and action we have is born of either one of two sources, selfishness or love. We must all examine our own thoughts and actions carefully to determine which source they are born of, and the true answer is not always apparent even to us, and so we are prone to make mistakes. Yet even in our imperfections we have forgiveness to absolve us of our debt of transgressions. Forgiveness is not earned, it can only be received as a free gift from those who hold the debt against us, yet if the debt is with ourselves, we can forgive ourselves.

I also spoke again with Ozymandius about the Blood War. We had an insteresting discussion, as is usual when we speak of such things. I will continue to ponder the three major philosophies he says are the root of the Blood Wars, how they differ, and to which I myself seem to hold truest. I think I see points of merrit to each that could be worked together to form a better philosophy, though Ozymandius says as they are none of the three can ever exist along side the others in harmony.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on July 09, 2006, 08:48:17 AM: Entry 84 - Threas, Seplar 26, 1402

Addison has been very moody lately, since she lost a strand and now has only one (or two?) left to lose. She was for a time talking as though she'd never leave the house again, which I talked her out of. I told her I wanted her to be happy and to live her life, and now she's gone off to Xantril without me to explore and see things she's never seen before. I fear for her safety and I hope she is with a large, strong, organized group of sturdy, trustworthy companions to help ensure she remains alive. I won't sleep well at all until she's back in my arms and I'm in hers again.

It was wonderful to see her there at the wedding of Rain and Sonya Darsus. I labored hard in making a pair of outfits for her to choose from, and they both look absolutely wonderful on her. Her smile and blown kisses were enough to help keep me confident as I stood as one of Sonya's brides' maids without so much as a clue as to what that entailed in the traditions that are so foreign to me. Even Sonya said she didn't know exactly how the ceremony would be performed. Aparently neither did Rain, since he slipped the ring on her finger too early in the ceremony, but the priest was very understanding and forgiving of the mistake. After the wedding ceremony we went to the Freelancers to join the reception party there for a while, but Addy and I slipped off early together and went home. I'm still glad I could be there as a bridesmaid for Sonya, though I don't know her all that well. I guess I'll have to start making an effort to be a better friend to her since she seems to value my friendship so.

Anna was there for the wedding too, and played hostess on behalf of the Freelancer's for the wedding reception. I got the chance to speak with her a little bit, and she seems willing to be friends still but says our friendship will never be the same as it was. I didn't feel too comfortable talking at great length with her about it at the reception, since the purpose of it was to celebrate the wonderful occasion and day of Rain & Sonya's wedding. It must be terrible for her to know her unborn children were somehow stolen right from her womb by someone. I honestly don't know how she bears all the pain she's been through in her life and still manages to take care of the children from Karthy as well. She said she missed my friendship. I miss hers too. My heart aches to reach out to her more, but I don't know how to do it.

Later, long after the wedding, I met up with a group of adventurers in Pranzis as they were preparing to leave. Among them was Sa'Kura who invited me to come along with them. I was bored, and didn't know where Addy was so I decided to go to pass some time and vent other frustrations upon the giants. Addison's friend Akki joined us in Vale. She's a bit hyper-active, but in a fun, silly way. I like her. In any case, our adventures eventually saw us to North Fort where the large group split loot and disbanded. Sa'kura came with me to head back to Hlint via the portal in North Point, while Akki remained in North Fort to rest for a while. After Sa'Kura and I portaled to Hlint, a falcon brought the letter to me from Addison which told me of her decision to go to Xantril. Sa'Kura is missing Barion in a similar way as he too had to make a sudden trip to parts unknown to her. I guess he's finally proposed to her as well. After talking for a bit, I asked Sa'Kura to stand as my Viza Na'Ruvan for my wedding to Addison, and she agreed, even after I told her it would mean she'd have to kiss Addison as part of the ceremony. I just hope Addison remains alive to see our wedding day, and the many years I hope will follow as well.

I think I'll spend the next few days at home with Calvin. He's growing so fast and since he's becomming more and more aware of everything around him he really needs the love and attention of his parents now. I'll read to him and play peek-a-boo and such as mothers do for their children. Perhaps I'll even invite Caniel over to spend time with us both. Addy's mom can be...well...protective to a fault for her daughter and grandson, but I know behind it all is a mother who loves her daughter and a grandmother who loves her grandson. Maybe one day she'll love me the same way, but I won't hold my breath on that. My being a woman is very much in conflict with her own beliefs and traditions regarding marriage, and she being an Elf has had hundreds of years to become set in those ways.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on July 10, 2006, 10:13:26 AM: Entry 85 - Satari, Oclar 14, 1402

Addison is still away in Xantril, but at least I received a letter from her. It eases my concerns only a little. Actually not at all. I won't be happy again until I hold her safe in my arms. However, on the positive side of things, I spoke at length with Anna for the first time in a long time. I don't know how she does it, but she cares for everyone so much she bares all our burdens upon herself. The children of Karthy, those that sleep and those that don't, her own children stolen from her womb, the relief efforts for Roldem and all the people there, and even me and her other friends... Seemingly without a care for herself. I invited her to come for a visit anytime she likes to see Calvin and how he's growing. I offered to help her regain her own children if a way can be found.

I miss Addison. I wish she were here right now or that I was with her wherever she is. I wish everyone would quit saying everything will be fine and that she's strong and will come back safely, not because I don't want her to come back, but because those words don't help any. How can anyone know with a surety if she will indeed come back? I know she's strong, and smart, and a great warrior...but she's died before and Xantril from what I've heard is very dangerous. She's only one strand left, when it's gone so is she.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on July 11, 2006, 08:22:05 AM: Entry 86 - Oclar 28, 1402

Addison returned safely from Xantril. I was overjoyed to see her. The joy was a little short lived though and she seemed sad and upset, with good reason I would find out later. After she ran off, I think in tears, I finished dealing with Freldo who'd come just then with a box of silk. He noticed how upset she'd been when he approached and offered to talk to her. I thanked him for his concern and left, at first to try finding Addison, but then in not finding her, to take the long way home to Pranzis and vent some of my frustrations on the way.

When I arived at first home, it was empty, so I took some of my tanning and curing supplies from one of my chests and went to the crafting house. There I cured and tanned the hides I'd collected on my way through Rilara to home. I also managed to make one of two Cougar Bags I attempted. The way Addy had run off still haunting my thoughts and feelings, I returned home somewhat dejected. I put away what leftover things I had brought back with me from teh crafting house, and thought I heard activity in the store-room. So I called for Addison as I went in to see.

She was there, sorting through things in the chests. Getting them in order she said. I can't remember many of the words said between us after that, I was too busy crying and aching inside. But she was right to call me out, to say that I have been walling myself away from her in some ways to protect my heart. I'm not sure of how to best tear down those walls, but I ache to. She deserves all my love, without fear, without holding any back. She deserves my faith in a long and happy future together with her, yet she's right that lately my faith seems to be more focused on the idea that I will lose her too soon, before we have a future together. She cut our hands with a copper dagger she'd made and swore oath to me, and I pledged my undying love to her...I wanted to say more but couldn't find words to.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on July 12, 2006, 08:52:39 AM: Entry 87 - Novlar 15, 1402

**The writing on this page is blotched with patches of water or tear-stained ink. Given the news within the words that can now only barely be made out the latter is more probable in being the cause for the splotches.**

M'lanna, why? Why did you go and leave us? How can you be dead after we just spoke of how happy we would be together, after we swore blood-oath? I don't understand why you'd risk yourself like you did to end your life so soon. Little Calvin is beginning to realize you're gone, he's begun to cry for you and I tell him you've gone to sleep, caught in the eternal dream, and you can't come back. When he's older I'll explain to him more what that means. I don't know if your mother knows the news yet or not, and I dread telling her for how she may react. I think she'll likely blame me for your death, as she blamed you for your father's death. I found the papers you'd had drawn up and signed before you left us, so at least now I needn't worry that Caniel will take Calvin from me. I will care for your mother too, if she will let me, though I fear she never truly accepted me as her daughter in-law.

I love you still, and miss you. I'll always miss you, and always love you. One day I'll join you in the eternal dream and we can renew our love for eachother, but for now I must care for Calvin and see he grows up, hopefully to be happy.

I love you, M'lanna Addison.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on July 13, 2006, 08:28:33 AM: Entry 88 - Decilar 2, 1402

M'lanna Addison,

Though I know with your passing you are likely unable to read this, I find that it eases my grief some to write in my journal as though I'm writing to you. I've decided to try and use up all the the materials you worked so hard to collect for our joint crafting efforts, it seems to me this is something you'd want done. I've made a small start on using up the coal first in my efforts to make crystal rods as you had wanted me to do before you left. The work takes some time as I must dig the sand for the glass ingots needed myself, and I dare not venture into risk while doing so lest I leave Calvin without even my love and support. I've also cured and tanned what hides I am able to in my current understanding, though the hides of the dire bears which you and I collected are yet beyond my ability to work with. Further, all the gems have been cut and polished except the diamond and ruby which I dare not risk until my abilities to work with them are nearly perfected. I'll likely buy copper, bronze, and gold from Ecthgow or others in order to mount what gems are remaining into jewelry after I've exhausted the supplies of metals we have on hand. I'll also likely take up weaponsmithing, if only to use up the two boxes of small molds I made for you before I found out about your death.

Perhaps, if I find my grief lessened enough when I am done using up our stores, I will continue to craft, using the profits I make from the things I sell to invest in further supplies gotten for me by others. With Calvin to raise, I don't think I will be doing any further adventuring of my own for I feel the risk is too great. He has already lost two parents, I dare not make myself the third.

I attended the story-tellers night at the Freelancers the other evening. I had hoped it might take my mind off my longing for you, but it didn't. I had no idea that Anna would be sharing the story of Elezanders Horses, which reminded me only of how you and I first met. How we ventured together to quell the urges given you by Indulgeance. How I grew to love you as a sister, and later how I came to love you as my most beloved, M'lanna. To listen to stories was not the only reason I was there however, I also attended so that I might share my grandfather's poem, "A Single Thread", which now so closely mirrors my own feelings after your death. I thought perhaps in sharing I might find some small comfort, and perhaps I did for a moment, but now I am home again and everything reminds me of how much I miss you. How I miss your arms wrapped around me in slumber, the scent of your hair, the sound of your joyful, hearty laugh... The delighted smiles and mischievious looks between us. The way you held my hand in your own, or gently pulled me close for a kiss.

At the end of each day, and through every moment before then, I miss you. I long to be with you in eternity, yet I know for now I must stay for Calvin. These years I live out my life here with him as his mother will be fleeting compared to the time we will share together in the end, so I keep that in mind every moment. Perhaps in time I'll find other reasons to live, but for now I live solely for Calvin, to be for him what you and Cole can no longer be for him in your passing from this world.

All my love is still yours,

Treana
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on July 14, 2006, 09:17:57 AM: Entry 89 - Decilar 17, 1402

M'lanna Addison,

In the time since I first learned of your demise I have gone through many emotions. I admit I have been angry at you for leaving, though I know I shouldn't be. Please forgive me that. I have been angry at those who were with you, that they didn't protect you better and keep you alive. I ask forgiveness for being angry with them too, they didn't know you were so close to your final death, they probably couldn't have saved you anyway despite their best efforts. I've been angry at the Soul Mother for taking your last strand, and I still am. I've been angry at the Illithid that slew you, and still am. These two angers I will not easilly lay down and I ask no forgiveness for. I have been lonely, sad, depressed, suicidal in thought but not in act, I would never leave Calvin alone in this world. Yet, in the last few days, I have laughed thanks to Calvin and the joy he brings me that no other can. Though these glimpses of happiness did not last, they give me hope that at least my future may not be so dark as the clouds over the land and my heart make it seem. I don't know if I should, if it's right to do so, but perhaps I must ask your forgiveness for thinking there can be happiness without you? I cannot be saddened forever, can I? Would you want me to be?

I have been dissappointed in many people. There have been many who say with their lips they wish to help me in my time of grief, with anyhting I might require, and yet when I ask them to simply dig sand for me they wander off and do not return. Only three have made an effort to help in gathering the sand to make the glass to use the coal you gathered for me to make crystal rods with. Surprisingly, not those I'd have expected to help more than others. A man whose name is Lorn, whom I barely know but who knew you well. Mr. Mith, who seems less desperate than he once was in regards to Anna, and who generally seems more calm than ever. If Anna knew I'd accepted help from him she'd likely dismiss the friendship between herself and I once more...but that's another matter. And finally Sa'Kura, who came with us as well, a friend ever-willing to help with almost any need. With their aid enough sand was gathered in one trip to use up almost half of the coal you'd left me. I only regret that I seemed to fail more often than not in the actual making of the crystal rods, but my skills have improved some as a result of my efforts. I account the failures mainly to my own state of mind, for how can one concentrate on such craft while their mind is filled with thoughts of mourning and loss?

I found again the sealed scroll marked as your will, I will read it after your burial which I must still make arrangements for. I must speak to those who are in authority to request that you be laid next to Cole in the Tomb of Lost Heroes. I fear that because you were not well enough known by many that they may refuse such request to have you laid to rest there. If so, I will seek to have you burried at our home in your own special crypt where one day I may lay in the rest of death next to you.

I still, and always will, love you M'lanna,

Treana
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on July 15, 2006, 07:53:16 AM: Entry 90 - Jenra 3, 1403

Dearest M'lanna Addison,

It seems my cinicism may be a little too cinical. Rain and some of his friends were gathering sand for me as well, and he delivered it to me just the other day. So, not everyone who said they'd help and appeared not to be helping was sitting on their laurels as I'd thought. I wonder if anyone else will be dropping by with loads of sand? It shouldn't be too long until I've used up all the coal at this rate.

Something else of unfortunate and disappointing nature occured. Remember how I'd signed up to go to Roldem with Jennara's group not long before your passing? Well, the day for the trip came and after talking with Jennara and finding the trip would be too dangerous to bring Calvin along with us I had to break that commitment. It realy saddened me to have to do so. I really wish to continue to aid the people of Roldem, and had hoped I could do so more directly. Now it looks as though I'll be stuck having to satisfy their needs from afar making boots and cloaks as I've been doing all along.

I finally saw Kyle again, or rather caught him trying to sneak away from me. Can you believe it? He actually thought he was a source of misfortune for me! I wanted to cry, and cry hard, but I set him straight by reminding him that before I ever knew him I'd lost Erathim and everyone else I loved. All of it reminded me of the differences between the love you and I shared and the 'love' Talen and I had at one time. Talen always wanted to know that I loved him more than I had Erathim, you didn't care that I'd loved Erathim before you, you simply wanted to know you had all the love I could give now. Our love wasn't a contest about which love was greater, past or pressent. Though we did jokingly compete with eachother about who loved who more. We have some beautiful memories even in such short time as we were together as a couple, you and I.

My times of joy with Calvin grow more frequent, and I even find myself amused by others from time to time again. I'll never completely stop mourning you. Well, not until I'm in the heavens with you that is. Do you think that you as a follower of Aeridan, and myself as a follower of Toran will be allowed to be together in the afterlife? I hadn't given that much thought until now. I shall have to talk with a priest, for if I cannot come to where you are as a Toranite then I will have to renounce Toran to follow Aeridan to be with you again.

Time to go work some more, and play with Calvin, and otherwise live.

I love you, M'lanna!,

Treana
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on July 16, 2006, 06:59:27 AM: Entry 91 - Jenra 19, 1403

Dearest M'lanna Addison,

Today would have been our official wedding date. Now, instead of standing before our A'Tulsaiir Na'Biirisa with our Viza Na'Ruvan's at our sides and we dressed in our courting garb, your body lays in the halls of the Crimson Shield waiting to be intered in it's final resting place and I sit on the couch dresed in a mourning dress while I watch Calvin play with some of his toys on the floor and write this entry. He'll be a full two years old in about a month and a few days from now and he's walking and talking a little. Most of all he smiles. It is his smiles that keep me from crying every moment of this day, that allow me to have steady enough hand to write.

I haven't gone out much lately. I haven't felt like it. Not to craft, not to sit with Calvin and watch people pass by, not really to do anything. I'll have to start calling on people soon to bring me the things I need to craft with, my supplies of goods are running low and when I do begin crafting again I'm sure they'll be gone quickly. Rain Darsus made me an offer to join his group of friends in their efforts to form a lasting crafting guild or company. I feel it might be a smart move business-wise for me, as I could most likely call on them to acquire the things I need to craft with and thus devote my full time to crafting alone. Imagine how quickly my skills would improve toward complete mastery... That might be something worth living for in your absence.

Things have been slow lately otherwise. I did receive one order from someone named Caeles for a complete set of Cat's Grace rings and amulet. I think I have them all in stock still, so perhaps he'll stop by the house to come pick them up. I'll double-check my stock and send him a bird.

E'Lanna min im'mur (True Love of no end),

Treana
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on July 18, 2006, 12:18:25 PM: Entry 92 - Febra 25, 1403

Calvin's birthday is today. He's now two years old. I'm so proud of him. He's walking on his own two feet pretty steady now, and he knows quite a few words, when he chooses to speak. He's become very shy in many ways, but at the same time he's always exploring new things with his eyes and his hands. When we go out together he usually clings close to me, peaking out at people from behind me while I talk, not that I talk much myself with anyone any more. I think I need to find some children his own age or there about for him to play with, being with me alone all the time isn't good for him I don't think. I've also been thinking of hiring a nanny to help look after him, since Caniel seems to have disappeared and doesn't come to visit. I worry about her. I wish she were more accepting of me, at least enough to come visit Calvin. He should know his grandmother.

A few days ago another matter regarding Calvin was brought to my attention. Something I don't recall Addison ever mentioning. Mr. Mith tracked me down in the Pranzis carfting house and told me before his death Calvin's father, Cole, had asked that Calvin be introduced to magic and allowed to study it if he chose. I am not opposed to Calvin learning magic, if he chooses, but Mr. Mith wanted to take him as his own apprentice when he becomes a little older. While I trust in Mr. Mith's good intentions, I do not feel I can entrust Calvin into his care given his current state of mind. He confesses he is fighting against demons in his head, and after what he did with Rhynn while she was his apprentice... I simply cannot trust him with Calvin, not even though he says he'd never do anything to intentionally hurt either of us. I still count Mr. Mith as a friend, of sorts, but when it comes to Calvin's well-being I dare not trust anyone implicitly.

I still don't feel quite ready to face a more or less public wake for Addison. I still haven't nailed down where her final resting place will be. But I know these things must be attended to soon.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on July 23, 2006, 07:45:55 AM: Entry 93 - Mai 11, 1403

M'lanna Addison,

I apologize that it's been some time since my last journal entry, but I've still been thinking of you every day. Not much has happened or changed in our lives here to report about, but what has change I will commit to this entry.

After many countless interviews I've managed to find someone I feel enough trust in to be Calvin's nanny. Marianna Underroot is her name, and she's a halfing who grew up on a farm not far from Haven with many other siblings whom she helped care for. She also has some prior experience as a nanny for another family of one of the guards here in Pranzis who sadly was slain in the invasion. Since they are no longer able to afford her services with the loss of income from their lost loved one, Marianna was forced to seek other employ. She's content to stay here with myself an Calvin for room and board and 100 gold a week. I feel it shouldn't bee too hard to pay her once I return to making fine jewelry and other crafts. Evens so, in the mean time I've still plenty of money in the bank. In any case, with Marianna to help look after Clavin I may have more time again to venture out and continue living in honor of you, though I'll still avoid doing anything very risky for Calvin's sake.

Still no word from the Tomb of Lost Heroes caretakers in reply to my request to have your remains burried there along-side Cole Norseman's. I guess perhaps you weren't well-known enough for them to grant such permissions, or perhaps the beaurocratic process is simply holding htings up. Since I do not feel I can wait much longer for an answer from them, I'm making plans to have a small set of catacombs built under our home when the workmen finally come to remodel the place for us. I'll also have a memorial gathering here at the house in the comming days so that our friends may come pay their respects in your memory.

M'lanna, I love you still,

Treana
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on July 27, 2006, 07:36:19 AM: Entry 94 - Jular 15, 1403

M'lanna Addison,

I can find no peace without you. I've tried going back out into the world and doing things I used to enjoy doing, but everythign I do and everywhere I go only serve to remind me that you're no longer there with me. There is no one on which I can place the blame for your death, and even if there were blame does not return you to my side. Still, everyone is 'sorry'.

After a quick mining expedition to acquire gold, the others with me must have thought I meant to take my own life. Not that the thought hadn't ever crossed my mind, but that I know I cannot leave Calvin that way. Further to do so would make me a hyppocrite after all the times I talked you out of such foolishness. Yet the questions call to my mind, "How much longer must this hurting last? How many more days must I endure being seperated from you?" In my current state, it's a wonder anyone can stomach being around me themselves.

How can I learn to smile again?
How can I learn to laugh again?
Forgiveness?
Is that why everyone says they are sorry? To echo the words of your own heart from the moment of your death? Do you wish my forgiveness for leaving me, for leaving Calvin? I can't forgive you yet, forgiveness requires love and I have none left. Give me back my love, you took it all with you when you left. At least return to me some small bit of it that I can grow love in my heart again. You owe me that, don't you? Otherwise I'm as good as dead, and you know that.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on July 30, 2006, 07:11:23 AM: Entry 95 - Seplar 4, 1403

To all my loved ones who have gone to the afterlife before me,

I miss you all and yearn to be with you again, yet I know the time is not yet right for me. I feel another pulling on my heart to continue on here in the world fo the living, I just need to find the way to live again myself. Sweet Erathim, forgive my moments of unfaithfulness in my mortal frailty, I still love you. I love M'lanna Addison as well now too, and I'm sure if you can see my heart from where you are you can see that in it. Grandfather, your words of wisdom from my youth often pass my lips, yet I continue to grasp them and hold true wisdom within myself as I would wish to. Perhaps that is why I cannot seem to find my way back to living.

Even my love for my son Calvin doesn't seem enough to firmly root me in life again. Addison, you would be so proud of Calvin now. He's turning into quite the little gentleman for one of only two years of age. He is very well spoken and learns new words every day. Even Freldo seemed impressed when he came for a brief visit. Calvin even seems to be getting over some of his shyness, I think some thanks for that goes to Marianna. I asked Freldo if maybe he'd take Calvin with him to visit Cole's old orphanage sometimes, there he might learn more about his father than I could ever teach him.

I donated a couple more pairs of boots, some panther capes and tiger belts to the Roldem Relief Effort using the donation crates in the Freelancers. Hopefully they'll serve the people of Roldem well. Now that I have Marianna to help with Calvin, perhaps I can join those working directly in Roldem to restore the land there. I suppose I should seek out Jennara to find out more about how I may help there. Even though I do not feel alive anymore, my life should count for something, should it not?

With memories of you all,

Treana
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on August 04, 2006, 10:49:43 AM: Entry 96 - Novlar 24, 1403

Here I am stuck out in the middle of who-knows-where, far away from home in Pranzis and my sweet Calvin. I'm sure he's safe though as I left him in the care of Caniel and Marianna together. After Addison's memorial service I felt I just had to get out for a while or I'd likely get trapped in my emotions and not leave again for months, maybe years, maybe not ever. So I wandered toward Lorindar and came across that halfling woman, Lillian, and my friend Sniverous. They invited me to go hunting goblins with them, but then Sniverous remembered he needed to meet Rawkwin in Arabel so we went there instead. I probably should have backed out at that point and gone home, but against my better judgement, against any reason at all I went with them. I was right, it was a mistake, I died and risked meeting the Soul Mother. For what? Nothing. After that I became even more careful and stuck very close to the others, we ended up in some city or fort, I forget the name of this place. Here I decided to remain until the others return for me to take me back to Arabel from whence I can sail home.

Being here has given me time to think about some things and reflect upon Addison's memorial service. Caniel had an outburst of sorts, and who can blame her? She loves Addison as her mother as much as I do as her ...wife. Caniel blamed us all, Addison's friends and loved ones, for allowing her to continue going to dangerous places and riskher life. Maybe in some ways she's right to do so, but I don't think Addy would have listened even had I demanded her to cease adventuring for me, even though she often talked of retiring for Calvin and I herself. She just had a spirit for adventure and she would not have been alive in the true sense we all loved her for were it restrained. She knew how to live, and really live. Maybe the rest of us can take some lessons from her in that regard, but many of her actions were also selfish not taking into consideration the consequences or the loved ones she would leave behind. Hard to say it of someone who also showed so much generosity, a giving spirit like none I've seen before.

One thing is certain, we all love Addison, we all will rememebr her for the rest of our lives.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on August 05, 2006, 07:18:49 AM: Entry 97 - Decilar 10, 1403

Well, I managed my way back to Arabel using a stardust of Beryl to hide myself from sight and keep me safe as I ran from Fort Miritix. I don't think I'd have had the courage to go it on my own if Lillian hadn't shown up to say she and her boyfriend (lover, fiance?) had come to make sure I got home safely. I didn't get to meet Lyle, however, as he had gone to rest at the inn upon ariving there and I didn't wish to wait any longer. I thanked Lillian for coming all the way out there for me though. The fact that the two of them came alone together for me was an inspiration that gave me the courage to set out.

Now that I've reached Arabel, it won't be long until I am safe at home again with Calvin, Caniel, and Marianna. I miss them so much. I do hope Caniel learns to get along better with Marianna though, she seems to dislike halfings for some reason. A realization that has struck me just now is that perhaps Caniel is the perfect choice to be the one who introduces Calvin to magic when he is ready to learn it. She seems disciplined, and she seems to be able to work the Weave, and I know she is one person I can trust for a certainty not to bring harm to Calvin in any way. I'll have to talk to her about the idea and see if she is willing and as able as I think she would be.

It's hard to believe that had you lived we'd be getting ready to cellebrate our first wedding anniversary soon. I miss you so much, each and every day Addy. We all miss you.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on August 06, 2006, 07:22:33 AM: Entry 98 - Decilar 25, 1403

I feel I almost saw Addison while in the death void today. I was dead for so long... I felt like I was near, like she was there somewhere on the other side, but always out of reach. I wanted to stay, to reach her, and then I was pulled back into the world alive again.

I must stay for Calvin, mustn't I? I'll try not to die again. It's torture.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on August 14, 2006, 08:01:21 AM: Entry 99 - Mai 5, 1404

A few things have happened lately of note enough that I ought to write about them. I've been helping Freldo and a group of other adventurer's to investigate some relics and a prophecy of sorts. We were last in the town of Lannisport, trying to find a way to the temple of Shindalaria which lies beneath the waves in the harbor there. When it became apparent that we couldn't hold our breaths long enough to reach the temple, and that none of the spell-weavers among us could cast spells to allow us to breath underwater, we found out from a local about an old woman living in the swamps not too far from town could make amulets that would allow us to breath underwater.

Before that though, I nearly killed Freldo. Something in my emotions became so strong that I lost control, and had my mood not suddenly changed to one of utter sorrow I would have struck him down. Instead I fell into a heap of tears, not once, but twice. It seemed to happen when Freldo was playing the song he heard from the mysterious staff piece, one of the items we were investigating.

When we reached the old woman, an Elven lady of many, many years, she told us the legend of the one who the staff-piece most likely came from. Hearing the legend, the change in my emotions caused by Freldo's playing of that song made more sense to me, even though I still had no control over those emotions. I fear to lose control of myself like that again.

The lady said she'd make the amulets we need, so long as we bring her the things she needs to make them. One of those ingredients she requires is ruby dust. Before I realized what I was saying, I mentioned to the others that I do have a clump of ruby mineral, and I immediately regretted it. It is one of the things left to me from Addison, and therefore very precious to me, as it was to her. I remember how she was often mentioning how she'd one day have it cut and set into a fabulous piece of jewelry. I don't think I can give it up, but perhaps if I can get in touch with Kavil I can ask him if he thinks he can cut and polish it with no risk, and thus at the same time at least gain a little of the dust that will be produced from the cutting. I will try to reach him before our group meets again to see the old woman.

Another matter come to bear again, Mr. Mith has once more asked me to sell his wares for him, when I mentioned my need for some new enchantments for one of my rapiers. If I were to commit to this business deal it would mean I would save half the cost of any enchantments for myself that I might need in the future, but I still worry some about how Anna might view such a connection between myself and Mr. Mith. Still the deal sounds too good for me to pass on, and I think Anna would understand if I were to tell her. I hope.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on August 21, 2006, 06:14:11 AM: Entry 100 - Augra 25, 1404

It's been a long while since I've written here-in, but today I have something I must write about. It seems Broegar's new rule is gradually picking apart Pranzis bit by bit. First, weeks or months ago the temple of Toran was sealed off without any notice or explaination. Now I've learned from a friend that my good neighbors Michael and Honora are being evicted from their home here in the Haft Lake district simply because of their racial heritages. I cannot in good conscience allow this sort of rule to continue without doing something to oppose it. The Old Culture teachings of my up-bringing were founded on tollerance and fairness dispensed to all, and with judgement passed on individuals not based on their race but on their actions.

It is my intent to begin setting up a group of resistence against Broegar with the goal to re-take Pranzis. We will have to work covertly, of this I am sure. Thus I am devising a method of encoding text that will not be easy to decipher unless one knows the keys to doing so. This will allow notes regarding the sensitive and subversive activities of the resistence to be passed with less risk of being found out. Much planning will be required to get this into motion. I'll have to find trustworthy people, and devise a way for us to meet so the encoding method I'll use can be explained to them first hand and in person.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on September 05, 2006, 03:08:47 PM: Entry 101 - Mai 4, 1405

I tread slowly in my secretive endeavor. I must be cautious of whom I speak with and around regarding my plan to organize against the unjust tyrant. Another truth be told, I feel hesitant of doing this. What danger do I put Calvin and Caniel into? Why isn't someone of greater political importance organizing something? If only Addison were here, she'd know what to do and give the orders to get it done.

Meanwhile, I've posted an add to sell off a great deal of items that Addison and I had stored up in our home together. Manny items remind me of her a good deal, and it's hard to part with them. I feel I need to empty out this home not just to make ready for the renovators when they come, but to help put the painful memories of losing her out of my mind. It's not that I would wish to forget her, as I will never forget her, but I do not need so many constant reminders of her absence causing me to break down in tears when no one is looking. I still cry for her every day, usually after Calvin's asleep in bed and the house is more quiet.

I've gotten much better at hiding my pain. I think I've even got myself fooled to some degree. Mr. Mith and Ozymandius both took a turn at flattering me the other day. I smiled and giggled for their benefit, but honestly my heart still felt like breaking. Sometimes I feel as though I make myself to be a puppet on strings, making myself dance for an audience of strangers.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on September 09, 2006, 07:00:45 AM: Entry 102

Blasted contractors! I moved all the things out of my home to make way for them, and then they tell me they can't come for another week, maybe longer. Not their fault though I suppose. The foreman told me that the city government drafted their services to repair a section of sewer that had collapsed and that's what's put them behind schedule now. Oh well. In the mean time I'm paying for room and board at the Hotel Layonara for myself, Calvin, Caniel, and Marianna. I'm also paying for a private storage area in one of the local warehouses in order to house all my furniture and such while we wait for the workers to remodel our home. I don't trust the man running the warehouse though, so I've been spending all my time guarding my own things there, including sleeping there with them. I'll be glad to get home when it's ready for move-in again.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on September 14, 2006, 03:38:51 PM: Entry 103 - Seplar 27, 1405

The remodelers have finished most of the work on my home, I now await the final safety inspection to ensure the house is still fully stable after their work, which I have no doubt it is. Meanwhile, I have pondered deeply the situation of my friend Freldo, and those to be hanged with him. My heart fiercely demands I rise up and challenge Broegar's rule and help free Freldo and the rest, yet my mind falters in the knowledge of bleak reality. My hands are figuratively tied, thought hey'd be fre if not for Calvin and Caniel whom are my family now, and whom I must think of above my sense of justice. If I should challenge Broegar's rule, I know I too would be hung, or worse, to leave behind Calvin and Caniel who undoubtedly need me in the absence of Addison. Neither can I bear to watch this execution of my friend, so I will remain home and hope to here that the trial ends with justice and mercy dispensed, rather than cruel penalty of death. Isn't it funny though, that I, a warrior in my own time who have seen countless deaths of men and beasts in bloody conflict cannot bear to witness an execution? What root emotion could be behind such strong feelings as to keep me from this in a friend's hour of need? When will life give me reason to stop crying again?

I am a broken woman. A shade of who I was destined to be. How can I persist like this?
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on September 15, 2006, 07:14:34 AM: Entry 104 - Oclar 9, 1405

I went to watch the executions anyway, to be there for Freldo in his hour of need, and I am glad that I did. Despite all the many tears I cried seeing him stripped nearly bare and paraded through town in fetters and humiliation, I stayed in hopes of being some confort to my friend in what may have been his final hours. Freldo had a brave face, and smiled like a child in a candyshop despite the thoughts of is own death that must have been going through his mind. At times, it seemed more than I could bear, seeing him like that and knowing that we both knew his end was near.

The minutes dragged like days while the gathering crowds waited for the trial to begin, and those set to be executed began to sing bravely. Many in the crowd, including myself, were inspired to sing with them. Freldo just kept smiling and singing throughout it all, displaying a grin like an ogre receiving it's first club to play with. In the midst of all that something in my own heart struggled within me. Maybe I am insane to even think it, but it felt like love... Not just the love a friend for another but... love. My memory flashed back to times before Freldo's arrest, before all this and his smiles were remembered. I know memory isn't always trustworthy, that sometimes things are added or changed in memory from that which happened in the real moment. Still, remembering those smiles I thought I saw more in them, as I stood there in the crowd. More than just the caring of a friend, but a tenderness, an essence of something more. More than once I caught my hand searching for the hilt of my rapier with mind to rush forward and attempt to cut loose his bonds. Thankfully it was not there and my foolish emotions could not be enacted.

Finally the trial was to begin, and unexpectedly Broegar himself came to address the crowd and pass final judgement. With threat on his life from certain factions offering a huge reward, Broegar still came. I was surprised, but not as surprised as I would be at the outcome of the days events. He addressed us all, pronouncing the crimes for which Freldo and the rest were being tried, and then he gave us a chance for one person to speak for the character of each of the accused. I hesitated but a moment before stepping forward to speak for Freldo. I spoke of his honesty and compassion, and Broegar seemed to hear what I had to say, until I brought up Freldo's caring for the orphans in Lellion at Cole's old orphanage, at which point he quickly dismissed me. I thought my words for naught and my heart sank. Yet Freldo remained brave and smiling.

Others spoke for the other condemned persons each in turn. Ozymandius seemed to have nothing good to say and I was want to give him a good swift kick, but refrained as such an act at such a time would have been truly foolish. Finally, after testimonials were given Broegar again addressed the crowd. What he ruled was completely unexpected. He chose to mercifully set the captives free, and banish them from Prantz instead of having them executed. Perhaps, as he says, he is not the cruel tyrant we have been guilty of making him out to be. Perhaps he did so more for the strength it would lend to his political influence, seating him more firmly in rulership of Prantz, more than out of true mercy. Regardless my heart leapt and for a few moments I was too stunned and happy to think or move. Such was the surprise of all at Broegar's judgement that the headsman 'dropped' his axe and 'accidentally' beheaded the prince.

Though Broegar acted upset and had the headsman carted away, I think the 'acidental' beheading might have been staged. Just as next, as Broegar removed the bonds of each captive himself, the princess began to let loose her rage and attacked him as soon as she was freed. Broegar must have known she would, and his guards quickly killed her in his defense, though such extreme measure was surely not called for. She was, after all, un-armed and likely too weak have ever brought true harm to Broegar. With that the last of the royal family were ended, but all I could think about was Freldo and clinging to him like a ... a love-sick girl. When I could get my feet to move again, or rather when they chose to move on their own, I did just that.

Curse my feelings for this man! I know that a mariage between us can never be. Can it? How can such occur when I am not even sure how he feels for me? If he's even capable of committing to one woman after what happened between himself and Rhynn? All I have is a confusion and chaos in my own heart! I don't even know my own true feelings for him, close friend or something more? Am I simply fooling myself into thinking it's love I feel because I also have feelings that Calvin should have a father and Freldo has been the closest thing to that he's had? Or is there truly something more there? Curse my feelings for this man! My unclear feelings...
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on September 19, 2006, 06:02:47 AM: Entry 105 - Novlar 12, 1405

I ran across Lillian and Freldo in the Anauroch Desert today on my way to Saudiria to do some business. Since it's safer to travel with others.. Well, really because I enjoy traveling with both of them, I joined them as they made their way to North Fort. I had business in North Fort as well to take care of, so I didn't mind helping them mine along the way and even did a bit of gem-chipping myself. Lilly carried the mineral clumps I mined for myself, since I was already nearly overburdened. After I was done with my business in North Fort, Freldo escorted me back to Pranzis. He can be such a gentleman sometimes. Most of the time really.

Freldo jokingly talked of having a harem, something that seemed to upset Lilly a little, and I must admit made my own heart sink. I wanted so much to wrap my arms around him again and tell him of my feelings, but I feel sure he could never be faithful to me and that's something I would expect of him if there were ever to be anything between us more than a friendship. At least for the time I was with them I found a little joy in life to laugh and joke a bit. When Addy passed away a couple years ago I never thought I'd want to be in love with anyone again, and now I find that I can't help but feel love for someone and yet I know it can't ever be. I also, in a way feel guilty for these feelings. I love Addy so much, it seems as though my heart betrays her. What do I do? I hate feelings, for it seems no matter which I have that should make me happy, some other piece of my heart is pained. It's just life I guess... Maybe I should seek counsel from the priests of Toran and try to find His wisdom to apply to my life.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on September 24, 2006, 08:33:27 AM: Entry 106 - After our trip to the Serpent Mountains of Dregar

Well, things seem to be progressing a little better now in the quest to raise that sunken city. Though, Rhynn let her anger get the better of her and left the group. I understand wanting people to listen to you when you have ideas is something we all want, and I think Rhynn felt she wasn't being listened to. Really though, she was, but that didnt' mean we all agreed with her ideas all the time. She just has a need to be right about everything it seems, and a need to prove she's really useful. I guess I can understand that, since I often have feelings like that of my own. Really I think she just needs to learn to deal with those feelings better.

In any case, we ended up going to the Serpent Mountains as Jharl had suggested, leaving Rhynn behind, and low-and-behold Jharl's hunch proved to be right and we found a hidden place in the mountains that fit the poem perfectly. There was a huge statue of a cat with the head of a man and six orbs glowing golden around it. Up a bit further, and nearby we found a place with 2 harps and a drum surrounded by magic runes in the colors of the schools of magic. Everyone seemed at a loss of what to do next until I suggested trying to play the melody from the staff using the instruments in that place. That got things rolling again and it wasn't long until Jharl and that bone-headed wench Lin'da worked out that the melody was comprised of different sub-melodies, one for each school of magic. After learning each seperate melody, Jharl played them each in turn and it caused the beams of light around the orbs by the statue to change to the appropriate color for the school of magic it repressented. Finally, when all six orbs were glowing their proper colors, Jharl played and sung the combined melody near the statue, but singing it there didn't work. The sun rose by then, so we had to wait until the next evening for him to try again, and this time he sang from within the circle with the instruments, and something, somewhere happened. Some of our number heard a rushing of water, and when we checked out the nearby dam, it seemed the water rushing from it had increased in it's volume and that the lake behind the dam was draining very slowly.

For our next gathering it has been decided to try returning to Sandstone. I'm not too thrilled with the idea, having been killed by the multitudes of snakes and spiders breeding there in the desert the last time we were there. Perhaps this time round there won't be so many of them and we can find the last clues to raising Estibana. While I am happy that I might be helping in such a historical event, I really felt alone for most of our trip, except when Kyle paused to talk with me a while. He and Ferrit have had a son in the time since our last speaking, and I felt badly that is has been so long. They named their child Cole, and I can't help but wonder if he is named after Cole Norseman, whom I believe Kyle was fairly close to.

Maybe Lillian and Freldo had the right idea to wash their hands of this venture, or maybe not. I suppose it's because of all the arguing they got sick of doing with that bone-headed wench that they chose to leave. One thing that annoys me about the group is that those who seem to want to be in charge of it seem to play favorites. Most of my comments and ideas I throw out are often ignored outright, and if they do end up helping things along I'm not even so much as given credit for being helpful. Yet others in the group can speak something once and be listened to and doted on whether right or way off in their reasoning. I bet if we are successful in this venture, and we do raise Estibana from the depths, my name won't even appear in the historical tellings of how we did it, but I can bet that bone-headed wenches name will be written in bold text and underlined. Of course, with this kind of view now written here, I have to ask myself why am I helping in this venture? Do I want to be famous?
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on October 08, 2006, 06:26:44 AM: Oclar 13, 1406

We have reached an end at last, so it would seem. Did we raise Estibana, the fabled sunken city of legend? No, we didn't. We did however raise an ancient spirit, a Keeper of the Staff, as she told us she was.

I am ashamed of myself... Of the way I acted, filled with fear until the very end. I don't think Addison, or even Erathim, would be proud of me. Perhaps it is good that history will never record my involvement in this, for I do not feel I am worthy of mention after all.

Why in these times do I become filled with such cowardice? In the past, along side Addison, I would have faced dragons. Indeed I actually even did tread the plane of chaos for my friends. Perhaps it is because I fear losing Calvin, and even Caniel? Maybe it's something less than that. After Addy died, I would gladly have passed on to be with her... Now? I don't feel the same way, not quite. I still long for her, but I also wish to keep living.

I almost had to laugh, a sick, heart-wrenching laugh of the irony. As Honora read from a book upon the crystal/coral box she described a wedding that never happened... The groom slain just before it would have taken place, and the bride left wounded... It was the bride we raised with the healing powers of the staff, I think. Or maybe it was the bride's child? If it was the bride, I wonder if her pain at losing her groom has lasted through all tis time? I almost had to cry. Almost...but perhaps my tears have run out?

I haven't seen or heard anything from Freldo in quite some time, I wonder if he is alright? Likely so, or someone would likely have come to tell me... maybe. Maybe not. Perhaps it's best I slip through the cracks and dissappear into nothing but a vague memory it the minds of those I once called friends. I can raise Calvin peacefully... What else is there for me? Why can't I find happiness? Why can't I find that true peace that is supposed to be my destiny? I try, time and again, to throw off this depression, yet it seems I always return to sink within it a bit further past the reach of the light of hope. Maybe I do not pray enough to Toran? Maybe He wishes another road for me, and this is why I struggle? Maev seems at greater peace in her calling, perhaps this is where my destiny lies as well? I need help from somewhere, I know I cannot help myself. I will seek council from the church.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on October 16, 2006, 02:35:56 PM: Febra 28, 1407

In my despair I went to pray at the temple of Toran in Fort Llast, and to seek council. I knelt at the altar for hours before finally one arrived who shown compassion and took time to speak with me. Quantum was his name. He is a man Ihave met a few times before, but whom I have never gotten to know well, nor spoken much at length with until now. I told him of my despair, of how I have lost more than once the people I love truly. We spoke about the afterlife, and he thinks it likely that my culture worshiped a god and did not know it, simply through the law and goood of our traditions. Perhaps he wished to offer me hope of seeing my loved ones again in the heavens, though it was also spoken of htat those without gods are sent to the Soul Mother upon death. I believe Addison followed well her god Aeridan, and likely waits in the heavens for me, but as for my family and dear Erathim I cannot be so sure. Still, it is not so much apprehension of the afterlife that keeps me in such depression. Perhaps the mourning for those I have lost is a big part of it, but even that does not seem to be the root. I explained my relative ignorance of Toran, despite my pledge to serve him so many years ago, and I asked to learn more of Toran's love and teachings. Quantum has agreed to help me as he can, and even gave me a holy text to begin with in my studies. Perhaps in knowing more of Toran I will learn more of myself and be able to break free of this depression that chains my soul... Perhaps... I can only hope.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on October 26, 2006, 07:12:38 AM: Augra 8, 1407

I have been reading over the holy text that Quantum gave to me. While I agree with scriptures I've read and have taken them to heart, it seems there must be more to Toran's message than these meager few pages. I thirst for more knowledge of the Great Leader. I wish to feel close to him in spirit and to follow where He might lead me. Yet at the same time I still struggle with the losses of those I've loved from day to day. Quantum's explaination of the afterlife gives me some hope that I will see those I love again, and perhaps that lessens my grief some.

It's hard to believe, but Calvin is already six and a half years of age. He is constantly questioning everything, and reads many books with greater understanding than I would have expected from a child his age. He doesn't spend as much time with me as he once did, perhaps because I am sad so much of the time. We still have our morning practice and exercise together before breakfast, and he shows a fair amount of grace and balance. When we went to the market last week he begged me for a game of darts, such as those found in taverns, so I gave in to him. I watched him play with the new game as soon as we were home and he has very good aim with those tiny darts. In the span of an hour he threw 10 bulls-eyes, and countless near-misses and not a single dart ever missed the board.

We've not seen Caniel much lately. It seems she's taken to going out adventuring, the very thing she complained of cutting Addison's life short. I suspect she has no tollerance for Broegar's reign over Prantz and may wish to do her part to help end it. I feel the same, but I don't know what to do without risking Calvin's security and well-being. Calvin's been sad to see her gone much of the time and often asks when she'll be back to give him his next lesson regarding magic. He seems to thirst for knowledge of the arcane sometimes.

Calvin's only six and a half, and I fear he may be growing up too fast. It's likely my fault. I don't make him get out to play with the other children in the neighborhood enough. Now I'm not sure I could if I were to try, he seems so headstrong in acting mature like a perfect little gentleman.

I've also decided I may let Marianna go, since Calvin does such a good job of looking after himself now. She often spends most days idle after doing other chores around the house. It seems she's become more of a maid than a nanny. I hesitate to make her leave though. She has shared news from home with me and says her parents and the rest of her family are having a rough time of things with the world darkened and crops lacking in abundance. Every coin I pay her goes to them to help them buy what they need just to survive. Perhaps I'll do the opposite, give her an increase in her pay and a 'promotion' to the title of maid instead of nanny, if only to help her family through this dark age. After a few years together it's almost as though she's family as well, though Caniel has yet to warm up to her.

I pray, Toran, be my guide in what is left of my life. Lead me to what destiny you have in store for me, be it great or small, so long as I may dwell in your comforting law and be a blessing to this world and those around me. Lord, I don't know where all this is going, or how it all turns out. Lead me to peace that is past understanding, a peace beyond all doubt.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on November 05, 2006, 06:56:27 AM: Jenra 19, 1408

My curse continues to take those I care about. I have lost another friend to death. The god's have seen fit to tear Sa'Kura from this world simply for meeting me by chance and coming with me to adventure some in the Ajari Swamps near Fort Velensk.

Once I believed there were no gods, yet now I know there are and they are cruel and unjust. How could they strip a baby of her mother? And more than once. Both Addison and now Sa'Kura have passed within such a short time of bearing their children. Do the gods delight in making orphansand motherless children? Where is Toran to prevent such an injustice if he is so powerful and just?

I have spent the last few days here at the temple in Fort Llast asking that question in silent prayer. Asking why so many of those I loved as fmily or friends or more have been taken from this world so unjustly. Asking what I have done in my life that such injustice be performed against them all, or what they may have done in thier lives to deserve such. Cray prayed next to me for some time, but she has gone elsewhere now. She seems a nice person, though do I dare get to know her if doing so would bring her death as well?

People tell me I am not cursed, that Sa'Kura's death is not my fault, and niether are the deaths of those others I've lost. But I have lost so many now I cannot help but begin to believe there is a curse upon me that will kill all those I care for. Who is next? Calvin? Caniel? Freldo? Lillian? Marianna? Maybe I should get to know and love Broegar so he can be taken by this curse and the world be served justly. Aye. I'm insane...
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on November 11, 2006, 04:33:07 PM: Mai 2, 1408

Aye, I am insane, but not so bad off. While Toran's teachings do comfort me, and ring true to my soul, it was not they that brought me from despair. Instead, it was an adventure, and a talk with my mother-in-law and now in spirit I believe, Caniel. She pointed out that Elves, such as herself go through life gaining and losing even more loved ones than we short-lived Humans.

Death is a part of the cycle, a natural part that cannot be avoided and should not be avoided when it is in it's proper time. Many I have lost before their time was to be in my eyes, and such losses do hurt. Addison hurt so badly she was willing to go fight the Soul Mother to bring back Cole Norseman, and that time I was the voice that talked her into accepting his death and learning to live beyond his life. For years now I have been a hypocrite to my own persuasions which kept her alive for a time.

At last, truly at last. Though it took the death of another dear friend to get me here, I believe I am through grieving. I believe I am ready to live on, until my time comes. I will always remember those I've lost, and those I may still yet lose before my time comes. I will always treasure the memories I make with each of them, and I'll those memories to my own grave.

I was once a child, naive to the ways of the world, but now I am more. I am a fighter in heart & soul. Too long I've been denying my nature and I've been running. Aye, I have been a coward, but I am not ashamed. In the midst of it, I have turned to face that from which I've run for so long. I have learned it is not to be feared, and I need not run away any longer.

And now, having chosen to live again, I must make another choice. What road will I follow with the rest of my life? Which path will lead me to the greater peace that I seek as my own destiny? Do I choose a complete devotion to Toran, or to the rapier with which I am already greatly skilled? One thing is certain, I am Calvin's mother in this world, if not by flesh by spirit. Whatever my choice for my own life, I must do what I can to see he is raised to be a good man, and that he is given the chance to live long enough to reach that goal.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on December 03, 2006, 10:10:26 PM: Life goes on. That's a set of words I can smile at once again. I've actually been having some fun lately. Can you imagine that? Aye! Just today I went on a quick trip with Rhynn to gather some hazelnuts. We had to fight the Trolls of the Ajari swamps, of course. It was something I didn't mind doing at all after losing Sa'Kura to them some time ago. I'll exact vengeance upon them, and love every minute of it. I think I'll chose to devote the rest of my life to truly mastering the art of dueling with my rapier. I've already got most of the foundational skills for it, and it's something I really do enjoy.

I was also back home in Prantz, I still dislike the new name, and I spent a good deal of time with Calvin and he came with me to watch me do some gem-crafting as well. He's growing to be such a fine boy. He's eight years old now. It's amazing how much of his life I've missed while I was wallowing in my own self-pitty. After talking with him, it seemed to me his education was not as it should be, and I realized Marianna could only teach him so much. I am debating whether to hire professional tutors, or whether to send him to a boarding school, away from Prantz and it's odd disappearances I've heard rumors of. The scariest thing is I believe the rumors to be true. Prantz just seems too neat and tidy, too perfect in it's administration, and definitely too restrictive in personal freedoms in the most subtle of ways, and in some ways that aren't so subtle.

I would like to know more about this 'Voice' that has been putting out flyers every now and again. Perhaps I could help in whatever efforts they may be undertaking to ensure the liberty of Prantz and it's people.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on December 20, 2006, 12:54:17 PM: Between my times at home with Calvin, I've been going out on trips to get more gems and other supplies for my trades. I've even made a bit more progress in my studies of alchemy. With Elohanna's aid in acquiring spotted mushrooms I was able to make a few of my own enchanting oils. I bought some feldspar dust from Pyyran too that also aided my efforts a bit, and he mentioned an oak shortbow he has that I might be interested in purchasing, but that will have to wait for another time I think. He didn't have it with him, and I didn't feel like going to his home to see it.

Mom-Caniel has come with me on a few of my trips and we've gathered topaz and garnet together. I told her how Rhynn had offered to teach me some magic to further my enchanting skills, and Caniel got a bit upset. Aparently she despises Illusionists and thinks it's the weakest form of magic. But, she did seem pleased that I might be interested in learning magic, and she too offered to help teach me in her own way. She tested my mind's resistance to enchantments by paralyzing me a few times, and it would seem that I have very little resistence to such spells, but that shouldn't really hinder my learning of magic if I do choose to she said. She also demonstrated a spell that would bolster my own natural resistence to spells that affect the mind, so I could probably choose to learn that as well if I really need to.

Aside from my trips for materials, I've still continued to spend a fair amount of time worshipping at the temple to Toran in Fort Llast. I don't pass it by without stopping to pray before the alter for at least a minute or two. There's just a certain amount of comfort I find in Toran, and even though it's fleeting and lasts not much longer than while I'm there praying, I find a little bit of peace inside those walls. Will I ever become one of the devout clergy, I doubt it, but who knows? Maybe the next I see Maev we can talk a bit about Toran and what following Him means to us. I think of all those who follow Toran that I know, I think the most of her. Odd when I remember a time when I almost hated her after first arriving in Hlint.

Of course, my skill in wielding my rapier continues to improve and see much use. When once I feared the Ogres of the Haven Mines, now they fall before me like wheat at the harvest. I've even braved the Bugbears of Bear Island on my own, and as long as I'm careful there I can face several of them at once with relative ease. Perhaps Toran himself blesses my blade and I, to duel as champions of His righteousness. Odd that I would write that too, when there was a time in my life I was godless. I've come so far, lost so much, and gained quite a bit too. Life has been very hard at times, but it is worth the living.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on January 01, 2007, 01:02:52 PM: //OOC - This spot reserved for events of the 'Whodunit?' quest.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on January 01, 2007, 01:03:57 PM: //OOC - This spot reserved for events of the 'Exploring the Past: Team Two' quest.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on January 01, 2007, 01:28:54 PM: I am happy that I have a friend in Kyle Pandorn. We've known eachother for years now, though I confess since Addison's death I had become an out-of-touch recluse to even such good friends as he. Still our friendship remains, and likely always will. It's something I am grateful for.

I had only recently lost the iron star shield he'd made for me so many years ago when he came upon me sitting next to the pond in Hlint. I had been down in the Haven Mines seeking a bit of iron to experiment with when I lost it. I had set the shield down so that I could go after the ore with all my strength while swinging my mining pick when suddenly a large group of Ogres emerged from the darkness and were upon me almost before I could react. I was forced to retreat a short distance, leaving the shield lay where it was, before I turned to face the Ogres that had chased me off. After I slew all that stood before me, I returned for the shield but it was gone, aparently taken by one of the other Ogres that fled before my return. It was a heart-breaking moment for me. The shield held for me so many memories of the past it had almost become like a part of myself. Thankfully, after telling Kyle the story of how I lost the shield he kindly offered to make a new one for me to replace it. The new one is not quite the same as the old, but it still holds all the care put into it's creation by my friend that the first did, and I'll treasure it just as much in time.

Perhaps I can help Kyle further his armor-smithing skills by helping to collect for him platinum, and then eventually adamantium to work with. Besides, I can currently use the platinum myself to make platinum reinforced clothes which ought to sell well enough to keep myself and Calvin fed. I work so many other crafts already, perhaps I'll take up armor-smithing myself as well. I certainly can't do everything I'd like to be able to do with my gemcrafting and enchanting myself. It's rather dissappointing really that even some of the tailored goods I'd like to make are beyond my abilities simply because I cannot cast spells. Maybe I should take Caniel or Rhynn up on their offers to learn some magic, then my crafting abilities would be nearly limitless in their scope.

Still, my true passion lies with my skill in wielding my rapiers. One day I may choose to give up shields entirely in favor of wielding two rapiers at once. I was forced to do so for the short time between when I lost my shield and Kyle replaced it with the new one, and I have to sy I did quite well wielding both my blades at once. Maybe I should try to organize a dueling league to meet at the Fort Velensk arena on a regular basis. It would be a fine way to get in more practice, and I might even learn some better techniques from others I duel. It's a thought at any rate.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on January 07, 2007, 12:39:33 PM: Novlar 12, 1410

Wow! I've been soooo busy lately I've forgotten to write about my life and such. But, great things have been happening, and other stuff too. After years of absence, I saw AnnaLee in Hlint the other day and she was pregnant again, (or maybe still?). Anyway, she and Rhynn related to me that there had been some evil wizard in another plane or something that had first split her child into the twins she had thought she was going to have and then stolen them from her womb. Then the evil wizard's father had him erased form history altogether, so Anna is back to just having one child within her (instead of two or none) and both she and Rhynn are missing parts of their memories (everything to do with the wizard who was erased aparently). I guess the only reason either of them even know about any of it is because Ozy knows what happened still and he told them of it. Anyway, since Anna looks like she's about due any day now, we passed most of the rest of the evening coming up with ideas for names for the child. I was proud to offer Anna some names from words of the Old Tongue, and she even seemed to like one or two. I really should write down a big list of words for her and send it to her to look through, but the final choice of how she names her child is and always should be hers alone. I guess Mr. Mith met with a gruesome end too, from what Rhynn and Anna told me... So Anna truly is alone except for we her friends. I just hope she doesn't shut us out again like she did before, but I think that happened because of the influence of that evil wizard.

In other events, I went with Maev and the others to find out more about the Barons and Knights of Alindor and all that mess... I don't know that I should write too much about it here yet, but it appears Plenarius wasn't the first to sign a treaty for seven years with Milara... Before Alindor fell to him, he offered almost the exact same treaty to the nobility of Alindor and they too had excepted it. Then he caught them all with a curse using their own words when they toasted in celebration of the time of peace they thought they had just won through the treaty. So, to make a long story short, we have to find the challice they toasted from and restore its purity or some such so that the curse can be broken and then the blessing that keeps them from falling to Milara's curse can also be lifted and they may finally find peace and die. Meanwhile teh true king, King Briant, has gone missing while in search of the challice himself, so we need to find him too.

On top of everything, I've finally decided to send Calvin off to a boarding school for his own safety and education. Marianna will stay on as my maid, so for a time at least she'll have Calvin's room all to herself. Though that might not last, since I offered to Maev the option to come stay with us if she should need a place to live now that she's no longer part of the church of Toran...

It's sad, she says former Tonranite friends and associates have been stooping so low as to spit upon her in passing each time they see her now, she even thought I was going to spit on her too when we met up again. I'll never spit on her, nor will I treat her with the contempt the rest of the church seems fit to show her. I know who she was and who she is, a good person at heart, that she lost faith in Toran doesn't change that.

Toran knows I often question my own faith in him enough, and lately I've even been considering leaving the church myself. I've never truly felt like I fit the mold well enough, and perhaps a return to my own godless traditions is what I'm destined for, even if it might mean I never see Addison in the afterlife... Toran knows I seem to have little in common with my fellow Toranites, and my pressence in the church might even be a detriment to their faith as well. I will always remain thankful for the times of comfort Toran and his church have given me in some of the darkest times of my life, but to be honest it seems Torans justice is not the same as that of my own upbringing.

And soon I will be faced with choosing the next road in the course of my life-journey... Do I focus my effort solely into perfecting my dueling ability, or do I seek to learn new teachings of magic from Caniel and Rhynn to supplement my crafting skills? Or perhaps I should just stay the course I am on already?
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on January 11, 2007, 09:19:08 PM: Jenra 23, 1411

I finally convinced that horse trader in Orc's Watch that I knew the in's and out's of all things equestrian. The hardest part was simply getting that dolt to talk to me. You'd almost think he doesn't want to sell any of his horses the way he treats potential customers. Maybe he just wants ot be sure they get good homes. I dunno.

Anyway, I named my new beautiful black stud of a steed, M'Daern Sata Min Wan, which in the Old Tongue means, "My Dark Brother of Travel". We rode together from my home in Haft Lake all the way overland to Lorindar, then sailed from there to Karthy and traveled across Rilara to Point Harbor, then sailed to Port Hampshire and went overland from there to Hlint. It was a fine trip and we got to know eachother better and it seems we really get along well too. I noticed he isn't too trusting of strangers though from the way he rolled his eyes whenever we encountered people along the way. Good thing he seems too well-behaved to bite anyone for no particular reason though. When we neared Fort Hope, we had to fight off a few griffons and M'Daern Sata didn't panic at all, so he seems a good mount for battle should the need arise.

I'll have to take him by the boarding school to visit Calvin. I bet he'll be impressed when he meets M'Daern Sata. He's often mentioned his wish to own a horse some day.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on January 14, 2007, 10:58:30 PM: Mar 15, 1411

Well, I've made a choice. I will persue the knowledge of wizardry and learn to cast spells of true magic. Rhynn has agreed to help teach me, and even Ozy offered to help too. So now, I'm waiting for Rhynn to bring me my first study book so that I can begin my training seriously. I may never be able to cast some of the 'big' spells that pure wizards like Rhynn do, but I think it will be an adventure in itself to learn to cast even the more simple spells such as those I wish to learn to further my crafting efforts.

Maybe this time spent focussing on something else for a while will allow me to return to my sword work with a sharper mind and renewed inspiration as well. I'll still keep myself in practice enough not to let my skill with the rapier slip any, of course. I don't think I'll be learning many new swordplay though as I instead concentrate on learning magic.

To think, years ago I never thought it would be possible for me to learn magic at all, and yet here I am about to start. I can't wait until I've mastered even one or two cantrips. What would Grandpa Ruvan think if he could see me now?
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on January 18, 2007, 04:13:23 PM: Mai 10, 1411

I remember again the moments of a time ago while in Luck, there under the premise of helping the little girl Pige by solving the murder of her family. Some folks had been slandering Toran again simply because I suggested bringing the passed out mage to a temple where he might be helped or something and well, it got to me. So I stayed away from everyone for a bit, because I really felt like I wanted to punch the daylights out of those two oafs with their free-flapping moronic tongues. Toran wouldn't have been pleased if I exploded on them like I wanted too. So while I was sitting by the house stewing over things in my mind, Acacea came over and started trying to cheer me up or something. At least I think that's what she was trying. Didn't work though. I'd begun to realize that as much as I like Toran, and His teachings, they really are not things I can live by, they aren't me. I was brought up that the spirit of the law was more important than the letter of it, and that compassion and mercy were also of much more merrit than blind and callous justice. After Maev fell from grace, and even Toranites from her own hometown threw rocks at her for it, I began to question a lot of things about the Church of Toran. So, while everyone else was busy investigating inside the mage's home, I yanked off my Ankh of Toran pendant and cast it as far from me as I could into the farmer's fields of Luck.

Aye, I can't say I was in the best state of mind that day, but I still stand by my decision there. I've chosen to leave Toran behind me and return to the godless traditions I was raised under. If my choice keeps me from Addison in the afterlife, I hope she understands. I'll always love her regardless, but I have to be true to myself or what life I have left just isn't worth living.

Anyway, more recently, I returned to Hlint to find Rhynn. I asked her if she had the tome from Saebhell's tower that she promised to bring me so I could begin my studies of magic. She did have it, and boy is that thing huge, and heavy! She seems to think I can read it, and memorize it's contents in just a couple weeks. I've started on it, and it's fascinating and even enjoyable until my eyes get strained and I get a headache from constant reading. I'm not sure a couple weeks will be enough, but I'll do my best and ask for more time if I need to. It's just the first of several preliminary books too, so it will be some time before I get to the real magic-making studies. I realize it's very important to be grounded in the fundamentals of wizardry though, so I don't mind all the reading I'm having to do now.

Another pleasant surprise came from Ozymandius. He'd made for me my first spellbook, with my name on it even! And the parchment within is the finest quality I've ever had the pleasure of touching. Now it'll be up to me to fill the book with all of the first spells of my learnings, acurately and precisely. He recomended I use cocktrice blood for my ink, saying it dries fast and doesn't smudge if it gets a little wet. So, I guess when I get to the part of my studies where I begin writing in my new spellbook I'll have to go kill myself a few cocktrice and harvest their blood. That should be fun. He gave me loads of other advice on how to care for my new spellbook too, and I intend to follow all of it.

Oh, I shouldn't forget to mention that a few days ago I met Amireana again in Port Hampshire at the Skamp's Mug. She'd had a run-in with griffon's on here way to the arena in Velensk to practice. I guess she'd also been planning on picking some corn too from what she said. Anyway, we talked a bit and I agreed to make for her a set of platinum reinforced clothing at a reduced price if she can bring me the supplies to do so, and then we left for Velensk together. I figured it would be nice to have a worhty oponent to spar against, but as it turned out her skills will need a good deal of improvement before she's nearly as skillfull as I am. I didn't mind though, and I gave her a lot of good advice on her style and how she might improve her dueling technique. It's nice to find a fellow wielder of the rapier. So few seem to choose the weapon, thinking it too light to do much damage as other blades such as longswords can. Truly, it doesn't matter how heavy the blade you carry is if you can't hit vital areas of your foe effectively, or dodge quickly enough to avoid being hit by their blows. Armor can only absorb so much before it becomes useless after all. I look forward to continuing to spar against Amireana in the future. I have much I can teach her, and perhaps I'll even pick up the nuances of her technique to knockdown her oponents, something I've still not been successful with myself.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on January 20, 2007, 01:10:27 PM: Mai 28, 1411

As always, I've a lot on my mind, despite how carefree I may try to act to fool myself and others. Last night I had my fortune told through a card reading by the lady Kali at the Lellion Arms. I thought it'd be fun, and that she'd predict some happiness for me... Boy was I wrong! Well, sort of. It was kind of fun, but mostly just sort of painful in ways. Really got me thinking about some things, as if I haven't already been thinking on them but... Well I got me thinking a little differently maybe. Aye, that's it.

Anyway, I waited like everyone else for miss Kali to show up, she was a bit late but others indicated this was normal for the famous Gypsy. Then she asked those of us who wanted redings to roll dice to see who would go first. I rolled the highest and thought I was really lucky to have won the first reading, so I was feeling pretty cheerful as I sat down in the chair opposite of her.

She pulled out a deck of beautiful looking cards, from what glimpses I caught before she shuffled them and turned them face down. Then she had me put my hand on the deck for a minute and clear my mind as best as I could. Not a problem for me, I'm so empty headed sometimes... but seriously not a problem for me, I'm used to focussing all my attention into a meditative state for my practice with the rapier.

Anyway, next she indicated I'd touched the deck long enough and then she drew three cards from teh top of the deck and laid them down face-down on the table between us, the crystal ball having been pushed to one side to make room. She asked if I'd ever had my cards read before and I told her that this would be the first time. Then she said she'd explain for me the process as she went since I was new to card readings.

She explained, "The first card turned is reflections of the past, it shows where our path through the cards will begin tonight..." Then she turned over the first card and I looked to see what it was. It was a stunning depiction of a Water Elemental, only it was upside down to me, or "Ill Dignified or Reversed Position" as she called it, explaining the orientation has significance in the interpretations of the card's meaning during a reading. Anyway, she went on to explain, "When drawn as the first card, in this orientation it represents a disregard for others, envy, avarice... It can be significant of loss of control and chaos in one's personal life possibly due to personal flaws. The water elemental warns against an overwhelming ambition... She can be imbalance, Destruction... The continuation of outdated ideas and traditions... The cards speak of something in your past that relates to these such themes." All that really didn't sit well with me at first, of course. I've never thought myself envious really, or ambitious, and no one likes being told they have flaws and have no control over their personal life, but worst was that in a way the words rang true. And further, the bit about continuing of outdated traditions... Well I felt the ways of the Old Culture I was raised under had come under attack with that statement. Anyway, overall the card seemed right, my life has been a long time of imbalance and I've suffered through much destruction, some,... no, much, of my own making. So, I was feeling pretty upset in comparisson to the happy attitude I'd gone into the room with.

Anyway...She went on about the first card a bit more saying, "Perhaps.. Somthing happened which made you feel at a loss... or.. Made these feelings surround you.. Whatever it was, that is the path the cards will take tonight.." Then she turned over the next card and explained, "The next card is a glimse at present days. Where you have come since the Water Elemental, or how those feelings, still affect you." The second card turned out to be Xandrial, again this one was 'Ill Dignified' and upside-down to me. I couldn't help but grimace at seeing that demonic looking card. But since it was ill dignified I looked to Kali to hear her explaination, thinking if the card was up-side down maybe that meant the normally negative connotations of it would be reversed too, or something. She looked back to me and explained, "Xandrial... In this orietnation he can mean several things. When drawn as the card for present, he most often represents a focus on material success. The exclusion of other things from your life to further these goals..." She looked down for a moment as though watching the card with her emerald green eyes and then looked back up to me and contiued, "It can be Bondage to a person or situation or thing. Sometimes.... Emotional blackmail. Other times true evil.. but more than likely not, it is related to uncontrolled ambition."

I was really a bit confused here, because I really don't think of myself as overly ambitious. As far as the focus on material success and the exclusion of other things to meet a material goal, well that might've synced up well with my current studies of magic to further my abilities in crafting, and I kind of had to face it, maybe the rumors of children disappearing in Prantz wasn't the only reason I've sent Calvin off to boarding school... I felt a little bit of guilt thinking on that, but the reading went on. I still question how it can be overly ambitious of me to wish to learn magic to be abel to craft more and better things on my own, but... Well anyway, like I just wrote, the reading went on.

Kali must have seen the confusion on my face at that moment and so she began to explain a little more for me. "It is as if the things that caused you emotional imbalance in your past, the loss, the destruction and what have you, have focused you on something in the present. It can be a bondage to somthing.... like another person, in a relationship, or it could be.. say to a craft, or a service that you provide." That got me thinking... I really am perhaps a little too focused on my crafts, almost addicted in some ways. It also provoked memories of my devotion to Addison. And then it reminded me of how I've recently decided to move away from Toran and I questioned aloud with some hesitation, "...or maybe away from something.. Or someone?"

She answered in short order, "away from one thing, always is towards somthing else." I guess it made sense, sort of.

So she went to the final card and before turning it over explained, "The final card is a glimse into the things that have not yet come to pass, but, if you remain on the path that you are on now, they are the things that will be." She turned it over to reveal a card called, "The Lost Librarian". On the card is a picture resembling Arenski Prelliarn, an older gentlman. He is surrouned by books and tomes which he reads in low candle light. This time the card was right-side up in relation to my own viewing. She went on in a slightly monotone, yet oddly mysterious sounding tone to her voice, "Caution.... Discretion.... Need for prudence. Counsel sought and taken. This card represents Inner calm. A need to reach into one's inner resources so to speak. The lost librarian is a wise guide or spiritual mentor. The card signifies a time to stand back and reflect on the circumstances at hand.." While she paused a moment before going on, one phrase had caught my attention, "This card repressents Inner Calm," and I wondered if it meant I was still destined for that True Peace of my naming and if I would be finding it soon. And then she continued, "It's a warning in a way, these three cards. You past, which seems to have angered you, has placed you in a present state, which you are bound to somthing. Something that as you said pushes you away from something, or someone. The glimse into the future ... suggests caution, and discretion. To seek council on the matter though, and then take the council's advice." Well, that confused me a bit again, even if it sounded sort of right. She must have sensed my confusion, or seen it plainly displayed on my face, so she thought a moment longer and said some more. "Perhaps I am missing somthing..."

Well, I really felt at this point the cards were making me deal with some things, and that oddly made me feel good, despite my discomfort. "No...," I said, "well... I just don't know who the wise council might be." It was true, I hadn't a clue. I know of a lot of wise people in my life and it could be any of them that this prophecy will be fulfilled with. Anyway, I had surmised I'd have time and then the council would come to me on it's own eventually...maybe. She surprised me though and offered, "hm... That I may be able to help you with.. Council can come from the most oddest of sources," and she turned over a fourth card, upright to me it was The Hanged Man. The card bears the picutre of a hanged man, he hangs from a rope on a gnarled looking tree in the middle of a dark forest. Yet, despite the grusome image the hanged man looked at peace. "The hanged man," she intoned, "The person you seek is one that is devoted to a worthwhile cause." Admittedly, at first I frowned before she began to explain, seeing a hanging person just doesn't feel all that encouraging. She must've seen the frown and she added, "In this orientation it is not a ill omen."

I was curious now, and as I pondered who I knew that were both wise and devoted to a worthwhile cause I voiced my questioning thoughts, "Someone devoted to a worthwhile cause?" Kali explained some more, "He always signifies a waiting period. So it may take some time for you to figure out who this person is... Not just devoted, but sombody that is spending their life for a cause." Well, I said what I thought about that, "Aye...a few folks come to mind actually." She just nodded and went on to say, "One of them, will be the one who will give you council then, help you put your past at rest. I'm sorry there is not much more I can say right now however..."

I may not've shown it outwardly, but inside I think I wore a smile...just thinking that perhaps soon I'd finally put my troubled past truly behind me and find that True Peace my name destins me for. I guess this reading gave me some hope after all. As I told Kali, the reading wasn't what I expected or hoped for going in, but it may be what I needed.

Who will the wise councilor be I wonder? I've thought of a couple people, and discounted them. I mean, Rhynn and Ozy were two candidates, though Rhynn's not alwasy so wise, and well, I'm not sure either of them hve truly devoted their lives to a worthwile cause. Same goes for Freldo, as dear friends as they all are they just don't meet both requirements that I can tell. Then I thought of Danny, he's devoted himself in full to becomming a knight of Rofirien and helping folks, that's certainly worth-while, but then admittedly, I dont' think Danny's the wisest person all the time either. Hmmm.... Maybe Jennara? I consider wise in a lot of ways, and she's devoted to helping restore Roldem, that's definitely a worthwhile cause isn't it? I guess I'll have to just wait and see though, maybe it will be someone I don't even know yet.

I'm still confident in my choice to learn magic. Maybe leaving Toran might be a decision made in haste, but I don't know, I just didn't feel right and secure in my faith to Him... Could be that it's me that has the issues that need fixing and that I really should keep following Him... Throwing away my ankh seemed easy to do at the time, but now I think back on it and wonder... I wonder though if I did decide to return to Him if He'd be forgiving? Look what happened to Maev after all.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on January 27, 2007, 12:42:10 PM: Oclar 4, 1411

Well, more time has slipped by us all, as it has the habit of doing. I still haven't found the wise councilor Kali predicted with her cards, but I'm sure in time all willbe rvealed to me. I've continued studying the magic book Rhynn gave me, and though I've read through it twice now, I'm reading it again to get an even greater understanding. I've also begun doing the basic verbal and somantic exercises to hone my skills with them to perfection, as is seems magic requires nothing less. Admittedly, it's taking me more time than I'd hoped, and more time than Rhynn at first expected of me. Seriously, enyone who can read this book and memorize it in two weeks must be beyond mere genius. Maybe that was a test, to teach me I needed to be patient and thorough? Anyway, I think I've got it pretty much down pat now, or willhave after I finish reading it once more. Once I have I'll talk to Rhynn about getting the next book so I can go on further.

I've also been spending a little time practicing my gem-crafting...Yes, I do feel bound to my crafts sometimes now, almost as a slave...but I enjoy them all so much. Still, I've also begun to wonder if I shouldn't have some higher aims or goals in life. Maybe I should consider trying to find home again, and finding out what was behind the goblins and orcs finally organizing against us there. Maybe I can put my past to rest that way, at least part of it. Maybe there's something I can do to help put my soul at rest in regards to Addison too.

And that brings me to another bit of my recent life. I went to the Freelancer's to enjoy their Storyteller's Night, like I used to do all the time... And there I heard a tale of Cole Norseman, Calvin's father and Addison's first love. It was a dark tale in a way, but the teller also seemed pleased and reverant of the outcome, even though Cole had stabbed her in the course of the events she described. It was nescessary to save the Lumbral, a mysterious race banished to a shadow plane, but who proved benevolent I guess in at least some regards. Anyway, hearing of Cole of course stirred up memories of Addison a bit and I had to stop myself from crying there in front of everyone. Anna at least seemed to understand a bit, but she was also still very worn out from delivering her new baby boy. And what a cutie he is too! I can hardly wait to receive Anna's invitation to attend his naming ceremony.

But I've digressed. Anyway, later I visited Calvin at his school in Spellguard. I related the story of his father to him, though I left out some of the more graphic parts... He got upset, really upset. I guess he feels uncomfortable among the other students who all have normal mothers and fathers... I tried to explain to him I love him as though he were a son of my own flesh and blood, rather than just through marriage to Addison...but he... He rejected me I guess, he's old enough he knows the truth and I've never hidden it from him, but I guess he's questioning how Addy and I could have loved eachother like we did. I didn't know what to say or how to handle it really. He's also angry he never knew his father, and that Addy died when he was so young... I think that's more the core of his plight. But the way I lived in depression for so long couldn't have helped him any either... and perhaps I should face the fact that in some ways I've been a terrible mother. Maybe I can visit him more often at his school. I've been visiting at least once a month, but I think once a week will be better for us both.

Anyway, after that I needed time to think and fishing usually helps me relax so I headed to Lake Rillon. There I ended up stumbling upon Elly and Eghaas. They were very welcoming of me so I kept company with them for quite a while before we parted ways. At one point one of the white stags got a little frisky and poked Elly pretty bad with an antler and I saw she was bleeding and used one of my belts to heal her wound magicly. She thanked me and in my reply I slipped and half-mentioned Toran by habit... well they were persistant and dragged it out of me. I told them how I'd chosen to stop following Toran. So, now I guess at least two others beside that fellow who watched me throw my ankh away in Luck know my choice. I know in my heart I've made the right choice, haven't I? So why then do I feel guilty enough that I try to hide it? It bears more consideration I suppose...

And then there's the whole adventure with my old friend Kenson and how he asked a group of us to help Captain Kard in North Fort... My memories of the whole thing seem almost dreamlike. Kard had a secret he could only share with the next in his bloodline, and unfortunately he and his wife were unable to produce any shild to fill that role. Eventually, after we fought some giants and Kard asked us some thought-provoking questions about ourselves, he drew one of the Dwarves with us off to one side and I guess they agreed to some sort of pact about the secret. They both came back with cuts on their hands and blood all up their arms. Just what Kard's secret is, I don't know exactly, and I likely won't. But that's fine. We'll go back and see Kenson again to let him know how we helped Kard and see if he needs help with anything else. It's funny, I feel like I've know Kenson all my life, but I can't recall any specific time with him before we met him again outside that cave in the dessert... But, he's a really true friend so, anything he needs help with I'm happy to do what I can.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on February 06, 2007, 01:08:03 PM: Mar 7, 1412

I fell again and I'm stuck in Saudiria. I am growing increasingly annoyed. Aye, either the giants have learned to send forth the stronger of their number, or I've begun to lose my touch with my rapier. Twice in a row now I've fallen in the desert between Saudiria and home in Haft Lake. Recovery's cost me precious weeks of my life, and I'm sure Calvin may be wondering where I've gone to. He may even think I don't love him enough to visit anymore. I don't know if he's getting the post I send him either, since I receive no replies.

Aye, the only thing good about being stuck here is that I've had plenty of time to study the new books on magic that Rhynn gave to me. These are even more complex than the first, and without having memorized as much of that first volume as I have, I would never be able to understand them as much as I am able too, and in fact it's good I still have the first tome with me because even now I find myself turning back to it occassionally for bits of more obscure reference that have turned out to be more important than I first thought. If anything since I've begun my studies of magic I've gained an incredible respect for Rhynn and eveyone else who studied long and hard enough to become a wizard. Still, I'm making progress myself, and more than enough to keep me well pleased with myself. Though, I suppose I'm not meeting Rhynn's expectations as quickly as she'd like me too. I'd rather get things right though, and do them with the same meticulousness I put into everything I've learned to craft over the years.

I did get to spend some more time traveling with Amireana before getting stuck here, and I was impressed with how much she's improved her fighting techniques since we had our practice duel's in the arena of Velensk. She'll be rivaling me soon enough if she keeps at it like she's doing. I gave her a few items on credit to help her further, and she's agreed to pay me back with Trues and many boxes of fruits and other supplies over time. This will help us both out since she'll be forced to improve her skills going after the things I ask her to get, and I'll be able to use those things to further my own learning of different crafts. Perhaps I'll give her a key to the house so she can more easilly deliver the goods I need, but first I have to get back home from this blasted place. Maybe I'll find some kind souls to help me today if I wait around long enough.

Perhaps this is punishment from Toran for leaving him in my faith. Maybe Maev is right and he is a vengeful one, and thinks it just to punnish those who simply choose to leave him with no real ill-will toward him. I haven't seen Maev in some time, I hope she's well.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on February 14, 2007, 12:44:34 PM: Jular 25, 1412

Well, looks like this year is already half over... I'm still studying quite a bit to learn magic. The books Rhynn gave me are so big, and complex, I have to read them over and over again. That's okay though, because I'm sure that when I'm ready, I'll know them inside and out, cover to cover, and magic requires such precision to do it right. I certainly wouldn't want to be responsible for a tear in the Weave like the Welkes and those who helped them were. I may learn slowly, but I'll darn sure learn right!

Aside from my magic studies, I've slso been doing a lot of tailoring in the times when I need a break from the books. Part of the goal I've set for myself in my tailoring efforts is to craft one set of each type of armor that I'm able to with my current skill so that I can catalogue their special properties and get a better idea of what kinds of things I can offer to my future customers. It's already been a pretty rewarding experience, though the set of Wolf Hide Armor I was trying for took me three attempts to get right, and it shouldn't have been quite that difficult for me really.

I continue to send letters to Calvin at his boarding school, but I still ahven't received anything back from him. I hope he realizes how much I do love him sometime soon. Maybe when Freldo gets a chance to talk to him like he said he would, things will change.

I've also given a key to my home to Amireana so she can more easilly drop off the things she gathers for me, and I told her she can sleep in Calvin's room wince he's away at boarding school now. I kind of feel a little bad about that, and I wonder if I really should be letting someone else stay in his room while he's gone. Marianna, who's always shared the room with Calvin, and now with Amireana, doesn't seem to mind. In fact, I think she was getting lonely without Calvin there. Sometimes I think Marianna has been more of a mother to Calvin than I have been.

This whole thing with Calvin is really bothering me... I don't want to slip into depression again like I did after Addy died. Maybe I need to try harder to really fix this.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on February 22, 2007, 06:01:49 PM: Novlar 21, 1412

Calvin still is upset with me from what Freldo told me of the reply he'd received from Calvin himself. Freldo understands that I sent Calvin to the boarding school in Spellguard because I love him and care about his safety, so he said he'd write Calvin again, or even try to visit him next. He seems to think Calvin's trouble with me stems partly from him being at the age when boys become difficult for their parents and begin to turn into men. Maybe that could be a part of it, but I do believe his feelings must come from somewhere deep inside too and may have been so for a long time now. Calvin wrote to Freldo that he has taken a liking to music, and if he's sincere I'm happy for him, but part of me thinks he was simply trying to play upon Freldo's own love for music in order to win his aid in getting away from Spellguard and the boarding school.

I talked with Freldo about a good deal of things too actually, near Lake Rilon where I bumped into him. Eventually Ranewin shown up as well, and joined our discussion. Aye, and like a giddy school-girl I told Freldo of how Danny had almost come to kiss me at the campfire near Hlint. He and Ranewin both teased me a bit about that. I'm still trying to sort out why Danny acted that way, it just doesn't seem part of his more gentlemanly nature. But it was nice to be reminded I'm a woman that some might still find alluring... maybe.

The whole incident brought up a set of questions I've not thought on in years...well I have but not in the same way. I'm nearing the age when I'll not be able to bear any of my own children, so if I am to do so I'll have to find a husband soon. But I'd rather go without child I think if I cannot find a true love such as I had for Erathim and Addy.

Speaking of Erathim, I've taken to carrying his old longsword with me a bit lately, and even slew a few goblins and orcs with it in memory of him. He and Addy are always with me in my thoughts and heart. I'll probably retire his sword at home again next to her katana soon, but for some reason of late I've had the feeling to keep it close. I know it's possible to find someone's location by scrying through an item they held close to them... Maybe I feel his spirit stirring through that sword somehow now that I'm becomming more in-tuned ot the Weave? I'll ask Rhynn more about it the next I see her. It could just be old memories stirring within me. I miss home. I miss them all.

And bugger! Danny's whiskers tickle!
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on February 24, 2007, 07:07:51 AM: Decilar 28, 1412

After several days of adventuring around Dregar with a fairly large party I returned home to rest and continue my studies of magic. Sadly during our trip Praylor fell in the bottom of that accursed ruin on the edge of the swamps. I remained with Dalan, Beli, Tyrian and some others to guard his fallen body from the dark spiders while Silverhand went out in search of a cleric to raise him. He returned after a good deal of time with a cleric named Talia who was able to raise Praylor by the power of her god. I was thankful to get out of that place. Honestly I'd been apprehensive to even go in in the first place.

Anyway, after returning home to study, I finally felt I'd made the critical breakthrough in my studies of magic and the Weave, and I feel I'm ready to track down Rhynn and present myself for testing. I'm sure there's still much of magic I need to learn, but I'm pretty confident I can manage to cast cantrips and several of the spells of the first circle I've been studying. Especially those in the school of transmutation which I've focused most intently upon. Sadly, perhaps, conjurations confuse me to no end and I don't think I'll ever understand them. I found it a sheer joy scribing into the spellbook Ozymandius gave to me my first set of spells. While I haven't actually cast any yet I'm confident I scribed them precisely enough that I will have little trouble casting them after a bit of meditation and memorization of their arcane patterns. If I pass Rhynn's testing, I'll have to take time to thank each person who's helped to influence my learning as they have all been of great help and encouragement to me in their own ways.
Title: RE: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on February 26, 2007, 04:01:18 PM: Febra 9, 1413

Well, it's official! I'm a wizard, so says Rhynn! Where to begin the telling of this momentous event? I guess I should start with my arival outside Ozymandius' home near Delanthar. Rhynn invited me to visit there for my testing and so I made my way south from Northpoint and sat outside for a bit. The first time I'd knocked there was no answer, so I guessed she and Ozy weren't home. I took some time to refresh my memory on a few things arcane and when I knocked again there was Rhynn to answer the door. She must've teleported in because I didn't see her walk up the path, though I suppose she could've come invisible and I might not've noticed.

Anyway, once inside the house I felt more nervous than perhaps I ever had in my life before, save the time spent waiting before each wave of battle while defending Pranzis from Broegar's forces years ago. It was also apparent from all the boxes and things stacked about hte home that they were in the process of packing up to move, and a question to Rhynn confirmed this. But that's another story.

She lead me into a room in the back and started my test by asking me some fairly simple questions about different spells and schools of magic. Then the next phase of the test she began casting different spells and asking me to identify them. She wasn't easy on me either, and many of the spells she cast were from the school I know the least about, Conjuration, but I still answered correctly! That amazed both her and I. She even cast one spell, Shelligarn's pesistant blade, and tried to hide a trick question by suggesting to me it was also a Conjuration, but I knew better and corrected her by saying it was an Evocation in all actuality when I identified it for her. Still, her questions were getting tougher, and I almost missed a couple. Anyway, in the end it came down to her asking me to cast a few of the simple cantrips and spells I've been studying. At first I was really nervous again, but after I cast the cantrip Light successfully on my first attempt I began to gain more confidence. It was then she officialy pronounced me succesfully tested and a wizard, but she wanted me to try casting a few more spells just to see what I could do beyond that. She warned me to concentrate harder because in battle it would be more difficult to cast with foes slicing at you and such. Concentrating when I need to is something I'm really good at, and I demostrated just how well I could concentrate as I cast each one of the spells she asked me to cast. Finally, the test ended as I cast the Burning Hands spell, a favorite I'd studied in my chosen school of focus of Transmutation.

After the test we talked a bit more, and she asked if I'd thought of binding a familiar to myself yet. I told her I really hadn't yet and she reasured me that it wasn't a requirement, but that I always would have the option if and when I chose. She also related to me the story of how she chose and bound her own familiar, Thos, to herself. Saebhell had been performing experiments on Thos and Rhynn felt bad for him and decided to free him, and after Saebhell finished being mad that she had he insisted she bind Thos as her familiar. Anyway, I hadn't known that before, so I learned another piece of the puzzle who is my friend Rhynn. It's too bad she and Ozy are leaving for a time, maybe years. I'm really going to miss them both, but especially Rhynn. In many ways she's been like a sister to me, even if there have been stretches of time when we've been distant from eachother. Back when I first arived in Hlint when the dragon Ozlo summoned me years ago, there were three women who I felt close enough to to think of sisters, Rhynn, AnnaLee, and Addison. Now all these years later, Addison is dead and gone and with her a part of my heart, AnnaLee I almost never see anymore a recluse from her own trauma's aparently, and now Rhynn is leaving too and I'll be somewhat on my own again. It was hard saying goodbye, I felt like crying, but I didn't.
Title: Re: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on March 13, 2007, 05:32:07 PM: Oclar 10, 1413

It's been about nine months since my last entry in this old worn book. In that time I finally put aside my own life to spend time with Calvin at the bording school in Spellguard. It took me over a month to get him to finally agree to see me, and I apologized to him then for making it seem to him he'd been abandoned by me. Still, he isn't quick to forgive entirely, a trait I think he inherited from Addison, or perhaps learned from Caniel. It's taken me all this time to finally begin to break through and earn his trust again. Likely it'll be many more months before our relationship is repaired enough that I can return to working my many trades and adventuring the lands.

One event I will try to attend however, is the memorial service for Maev. I recently learned of her passing by chancing upon a noticed posted in the Wild Surge. My neighbor Honora appears to be the one hosting the memorial, so perhaps I can find out more detail from her about what befell our common friend.

Perhaps I've grown a bit callouse in my heart. Though Maev was a good friend, even though we didn't foten see eachother, or always see eye to eye, I feel very little pain in relation to her passing. Not at all like those I've lost in the past. Maybe it's simply because we weren't so close as those others. Honestly I'm not sure of anything anymore in these regards.

I am happy for now though, that Calvin and I are making progress together, and that I'm being the mother to him now that I should have always been. Eventually the money in the bank will run out though, and I'll have to go back to my work, but until then we're doing better. I hope the relationship we forge now will endure. I love my son.
Title: Re: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on March 31, 2007, 09:46:23 AM: Jular 9, 1414

Aye, seems it's more than time to write in here again. Aside from spending a great deal of time with Calvin and strengthening our relationship, I've finally gotten out to do some other living on my own a bit again.

I ran into Connor and AnnaLee in Port Hempstead, which seems to be the new gathering place for we 'heros' since Hlint has been nearly abandonned in the years since the darkening of the sky and Blood's defeat. We talked for quite a while, mostly about the situation involving the ghost in Connor's head, Merlin, and Merlin's sister Pige. Connor believes that if we can remove the gaeas on Mr. News, he will be willing and able to fix the problem with the Weave in the fields now belonging to the Welkes near Fort Llast, so that may be our next course. Poor Mr. News is now living nearly alone in Nogar, since almost all the other residents there have been leaving for the same reason folks moved from Hlint over the last few years. Anyway, Connor should be sending word for our next gathering, and hopefully soon we can at last set things right. There is still the mystery of the Purple Rose gypsy woman, and whoever the musical note icon might belong to. Everyone seems pretty sure that the gypsy is the one who has caused this whole mess and put the gaeas' on Welkes, Scryin' Eyes, and Mr. News.

After leaving the company of Anna and Connor, I ran into Talen of all people, while I was on my way to the Scamp's Mug to retrieve a hammer head from a fellow there. It began raining as we spoke so I invited Talen to come to the tavern with me to stay dry, and we sat there talking for quite a while. I must confess, and did to him then, that I still have some feelings for him. I'm unsure though if these should be pursued, given what happened the first time round. We've both grown and changed so much since then, and I think Talen's feelings are really more for Anna still... He'd said he wanted to talk to her, about how he left, and was afraid to do so though because it might mean having to admit he may have lost her in leaving her for so long.

I have to wonder how Calvin would handle it if I did begin a relationship with anyone. I mean, he and I have finally worked out most of our problems and seem to be happy mother and son again. If I do, will he feel I've betrayed Addison and in a way himself?

Balls of a juggling ogre! I probably won't have time for a relationship anyway right now. While I was up in the Brech Mountains, a hooded woman approached me for help. In the dark at the time I nearly killed her because I mistook her for another of those nasty Yetis that plague the area. After apologizing, and seeing her heal herself before I could offer to, she pressented her reason for coming to me then and there. I'm not sure whether to trust her or not, I never saw her face, and she wouldn't give me her name. She just said that a very unusual (and I'm assuming powerful and valuable) ring were lost 'somewhere on the surface' and she wanted me to help look for it. She didn't even offer any definitive reward, so maybe I'll just blow this one off, though it does intrigue me. She said the ring in question shines like gold, but is actually made of a crystaline material like diamond. Being one who works with jewelry as much as I do, I have to admit I'd like to see such a thing, it sounds amazing. In any case, I've got no clues where to start looking, but maybe I can track down Ozy and ask him if he's ever heard of a ring with such a description. If it's unique enough, and well known enough that he'd know about it, at least that might shed some light on its true value and purpose. Something about that hooded woman makes me uneasy enough that if it's something with real power, I may want to track it down just to keep her from getting her hands on it, or 'its original owner' she says she'd return it to, whoever that might be.
Title: Re: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on April 18, 2007, 05:25:38 PM: Mai 18, 1415

Time flies by these days. Calvin's really coming along in his studies at the boarding school in Spellguard. His instructors have told me though that he lacks direction in his endeavors, but performs within or above expectations in almost all subjects of study. They think I should talk to him and try to influence him into choosing one vocation or another, and they'd prefer it be the magical studies of course. I told them that Calvin will choose his own courses of study as he sees fit and that they'd best not pressure him into anything he doesn't show interest in himself. He's getting old enough now that I think it may even be safe for him to return home to Prantz and continue his education there, but still I'd delay that eventuality another couple years just to be sure. I'll leave the choice to him though, he's getting old enough to begin learning responsibility for himself. He is after all in his fourteenth year of life.

As for me, I'm in my thirty-fifth year already. I feel old, though I imagine I still have half my life ahead of me. Of course, you'd not know how old I feel meeting me these days. I keep a good show of youthful enthusiasm after all.

My magical studies are progressing, though slowly. Probably because of my short attention span leading me back into my studies of this or that as my whims desire. On the positive side, I'm becomming more proficient in many of my varied tradeskills. I've been making potions of cure of the moderate strength more and more successfully, and I've even made a few oak planks to donate to the Foundation, in the hopes they'll help to build homes for some of the homeless in these dark days. I also donated quite a few juices I had bottled in storage in the basement, the cool air down there kept them preserved very nicely. Still I can't help but feel the way I'm progressing I'll ever be moderately proficient at almost everything, but a master of almost nothing. I guess we can see where Calvin picked up his lack of direction from!

I've not heard from Caniel in so long, I'm beginning to wonder if the old elf-woman met her demise finally. I really hope not. Even though we don't often see eye to eye on a great deal many things, I still love her as if she were my own mother. Maybe I'll write her a letter, though I've no idea where to send it.

Aye, time sure flies...
Title: Re: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on April 22, 2007, 12:21:33 AM: Jular 12, 1415

Just what I didn't need. Complications in my life. Seems I'm stuck in another wild adventure, aye, maybe two. I wrote a time ago about a strange woman I met in the Brech mountains who asked me to help find a lost ring. She'd decribed it as looking shiney, like gold, but being made of a crystaline substance. And I'm almost positive she was a darkelf. Well, anyway, seems I'm not the only one she's been asking to find that ring. I talked to a man named Sallaron, who she also appeared to.

Funny thing about that too. I'd have never met Sallaron if it hadn't been for another darkelf I stumbled upon who was terrorizing the lady Silaqui and another fellow right in the middle of Port Hempstead! The way he acted, I thought he might've been looking for the ring too, so I tried to ask him about if that's what he was there for. He just ignored my question and teleported away, but Silaqui overheard my question, and she brought up that Sallaron had also been asked to find the ring.

Turns out, Silaqui, innocent and inexperienced seeming as she may appear, had been chosen to guard, or hide some book. A book of notes made by soem wizard who created a powerful artifact capable of warping reality. Something that in the wrong hands could be world-ending stuff. That prankster, Hawklen, also seems to be involved in this mess. In any case, the book was taken by the darkelf wizard from Silaqui in Krandor, and we were pretty much powerless to stop it. I guess not all hope is lost though, a set of some number of keys are needed to open the magic vault within which the artifact is stored. So, as long as the last of the keys can be kept from the darkelf, hopefully he won't be able to get his mitts on it.

Whether or not the gold-crystal ring and this reality warping artifact are related remains a mystery. In either case, I don't believe it's in anyone's interests for the darkelves to get hold of either item. So, it looks like I'm going to have to help out in whatever ways I can to make sure that doesn't happen.
Title: Re: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on April 27, 2007, 10:03:41 AM: Oclar 8, 1415

Well, a few notes of interest to write about. I talked to Rhynn for a while at the Scamp's Mug, she was feeling down about Ozy's absence of late, and fearful he wasn't returning. I don't know that anything I said to her was entirely helpful, I'm always sticking my foot in my mouth when I don't mean to, but maybe she seemed a little less upset by the time I left. The least I could do is re-assure her that I'm her friend, and I'm always available for her if she needs me, or even if she doesn't.

After I left the Scamp's Mug I had the pleasant surprise to run into Bumblebee! It's been years since I'd talked with him, but he did thank me for the letter I sent his way about the gold-crystal ring and my suspicions the darkelves are up to something big, and definitely not good for the rest of us. I also shared a few tidbits about some other things I've been involved in. Like the lost civilzation in the desert, the Knights of Erylin in Alindor, and my involvement in the investigation of the murder of Pige's family. I'll have to write down some notes for 'Bee about my various adventures when I get the time. Most are old news, but folks may still wish to read about them in the Dragon's Whisper.

As far as that murder investigation goes, all the evidence we've uncovered seems to be pointing to the one known as Rose, a gypsy who was involved in the ritual, and whom we believe to have put the gaes' on Scryin' Eyes, Welkes, Mr. News, and lastly the bard we tracked down in Lorax who all also were involved in the ritual.

When we returned to Yruin to visit Mr. News, we found the whole town deserted and he near death from starvation sitting in the tavern. We were able to wake him and begin nursing him to health again, the poor fellow, and not long after one of Storold's people showed up to help work on removing his gaes and took over the nursing process. Hopefully it won't be long until the good Mr. News is free and healthy. Though I can't help but wonder how he became involved in the murder to begin with, but judging from what little I know of his character, I think perhaps he was tricked into it.

Now, the bard we tracked down, on the other hand... We found him almost in a similar state as Mr. News, only on top of that he was playing a magical melody that evoked the strongest feelings I've had since Addison's death. The sadness in that song was so great... Well, I don't want to think about that right now, but I will write that Storold rode from Lorax to Spellgaurd to bring more help for the fellow, since his gaes and song combined posed great threat to anyone who might wander by. I think some of our number were so affected by the song that they were near killing themselves before it was interupted by Connor.

Meanwhile, I've been getting better at both the alchemy lab and in the kitchen! I can make Curing Potions of the moderate strength with relative ease now and it won't be long before I start attempting those meant for serious wounds. In the kitchen, I can probably manage to bake bread pretty well, and it won't be long til I'm also experimenting with roasts and such. I've also continued to improve my tailoring skills, and perhaps it won't be too much longer before I try making some of my own enchanted lionskin bags.
Title: Re: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 07, 2007, 05:53:45 PM: Mar 24, 1416

Well, after our last meeting in Spellguard, I've decided for whatever reason, there's just something I like about Lewis News. Aye, a bit crazy I admit. Anyway, I sent him a letter to share that I do wish to remain in touch as a friend, and even offered to let him stay with me after his recovery at the temple in Spellguard if he doesn't have anywhere else to go. I haven't gotten a response back yet, but that may be because of his condition...it'll probably take some time before he's in good enough shape to think about writing.

In any case, we've determiend that the Gypsie, "Rose" is actually named Natalia, and she's Mrs. Welkes sister. This was found out by the others while they talked to the bard, and I sat out in the hall with Mr. News. Anyway, it seem's pretty much a sure thing that Natalia is the one responsible for organizing the whole ritual, which seems to have been directed mainly at Pige and Merlin's mom. Speaking of which, Connor was acting really odd...

Our next step is to stop again at the Toranite temple in Fort Llast, though I don't really think anything more cna be learned there. After that we'll be heading to the Welkes farm again to see about finding Natalia and confronting her. Her sister, Rose Welkes, may know where to find her...maybe.
Title: Re: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on May 22, 2007, 10:39:51 AM: Novlar 20, 1416

I need to try to be a little less recklass in my adventuring or Calvin will lose another mom. Had a very close call in the Haven Mines, but I'll write a bit more of the story, for whoever may one day read this journal. Anyhow, I was going to sneak in for some coal, all on my own as I have been doing to get amethyst lately, but when I arrived at the mine others began to show up. Most of those who showed up didn't look all that experienced from their postures and the way they talked, but thankfully there were a couple who were. Tariana, a paladin of Rofirein, and Tyrian seemed aside from myself to be the more experienced in the bunch. So, I decided I best lend my skill to theirs in the hopes I could help prevent a whole-sale slaughter. These ones seemed bent on acquiring the head of the Gnoll commander for Lord Rodor of Haven Keep, so since I needed to go to the bottom for my coal anyway, I joined with them.

We went in after some discussion of tactics and made out way down safely enough. We even got the head they were after and the coal I needed as well as ten nuggets of platinum as a little bonus for me. We began to ascend to the surface again with our bounty, and still nothing seemed to be going wrong...until we reached the final chamber of the third level of the mines. There we were ambushed and Tariana fell despite my best efforts to draw the Gnolls off her.

Sadly, as though her falling wasn't sad enough, more would fall as we tried to pass through the main chamber of the second floor. I hung back to ensure that the ones lagging behind the rest of the group might not be ambushed hopelessly, even though the huge chamber looked clear. Sure enough, as I and the last of the strung out group began to pass through the chamber, a huge band of Gnolls seemed to spring out of nowhere upon us, I was knocked down and beaten unconscious almost immediately.

I'm not sure what happened to the others so much after that, but the next I remember was the shock of regaining consciousness suddenly as healing poured through my body. Tyrian, invisible, had come back to my aid and prevented my own death by a hair's breadth using her potions. I staggered to my feet and dodged around a corner to try to gain a moment prepare to fight off the Gnolls who'd noticed my revival. Tyrian continued to splash me with potions from teh safety of her invisibility spell as I fought off Gnoll after Gnoll, and without her continued aid I likely would have fallen again. But, I fought my way through, and upward, noting with remorse two, or maybe three more of our party laying dead, mangled beyond recognition to my quickly moving eyes which I was forced to keep focussed on making my escape.

Finally, we reached the surface and Tyrian collapsed, evidently exhausted from her efforts to keep me alive. I knelt beside her a moment or two myself to regain my breath. It had been a harrowing experience, and I was deeply grateful to still be alive. My heart is still burdened some though, as I cannot help but feel somewhat responsible for those who fell in the mines that I was unable to protect. At least some of the party reached the surface safely though, and they were able to turn in the head of the Gnoll commander at the Keep. I cannot help but to feel our efforts were a bit futile though, as I'm sure Lord Rodor's strategy of placing a bounty on the leader's head, as he did before with the Ogres, will prove just as ineffective and a new commander will quickly assert authority over the Gnolls just as the last had. Perhaps though, with all the Gnolls we killed in our venture the growth of their clan will be slowed enough to keep them in check for a little longer.

Later on, after returning to Prantz to work the materials I'd brought forth from the mines, I ran into Tyrian, Mylindra, and Storold and they invited me to go with them on a trip across Corsain and Tilmar. Storold wanted to show Mylindra something, but wouldn't say what. We made a fine group and with strong magic easilly fought our way through a great many undead darkelves, eventually ending in Rodez where Teach showed Mylindra that a Golden Claw of Rofirein monument had been built. Mylindra seemed to have some mixed feelings about seeing it, which I thought odd since she's a Rofireinite, but I guess she's going through some questions of faith, much like I had with Toran and the Toranite church.
Title: Re: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on July 29, 2007, 09:59:55 AM: Decilar 4, 1419

Hard to believe, but Calvin's almost 19 years old now, and it won't be long after that I turn 40 myself. I've progressed a bit more in my magical studies and I even managed to teach myself two new spells and put them into my spellbook without transcribing them from scrolls made by others. Aye, they are only first circle spells, but the fact I learned them on my own like I have shows I'm making strides. It may not be too much longer before I can begin working with and casting the more complex second circle spells.

Memories of home, I mean the home I grew up in and the town I loved, have been on my mind a lot more lately. I feel like I need to go back, put my memories there to rest in a manner of speaking, or I'll not ever be able to find my destiny of true peace. E'Zoenna, I think I'm starting to see the way to reach it. I'm tired of the nightmares that still plague me from time to time, and I need to go back to confront them. Isn't that why I honed my fighting skills so much over the years, so I could face down fear. As long as fear remains in the least, there can be no E'Zoenna, no true peace.

The time to go home is nearing, but I've still got a few preparations to make before I leave.
Title: Re: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on September 01, 2007, 10:47:54 PM: Junar 1, 1421

I've returned from my journey home. With me in my steps there were my friends, Amireanna, Tariana, and her husband Ben, as well as my own Calvin. I was surprised to have run into Calvin along the way, really, and I don't think he expected to see me either, but at least he did come with after I invited him to see where I'd grown up. I still sense that there's a divide between us, and I don't know if that can ever be repaired. A mother's worries never end I suppose, but I am proud of Calvin, he's grown up so much. It was rather amusing to hear him trying to court Amireana though. Perhaps I'll have a talk with him the next I see him, and give him some advice on how to better woo a woman.

Aye, but I should be writing about what happened once we got home. Though in truth the details are a bit overwhelming still, but I now understand what caused the orcs and goblins to unite against my town. It is true that when the people of our little frontier community moved into the area, the goblins and orcs together were displaced from parts in order that the community be established. Areas that they'd called home themselves for who knows how long, but that is a normal pain of the expansion of one society into areas of another. But in the friction between they and ourselves another voice went unheard by all of us, until the orcs took home in the cave on the other side of the lake.

There in that cave, the lake's own guardian spirit spoke to the orcs and goblins, convincing them that if they drove our settlement away, they would be better off and the lands would be solely theirs again. It would seem, somehow our settlement's pressence was harming the lake, and we didn't even know it. So the orcs and goblins united together and waged that last murderous raid. So few of us lived beyond that day, and none who did would ever find the strength to return to live there.

The spirit of the lake thought it had won a victory in preserving the pristine waters and the perfectly wild lands nearby. Instead, it turned out that the orcs and goblins, as is their nature, proved just as or perhaps even more harmful than our community had. So, the spirit of the lake turned against them as well.

We arived at the end of both tribes. The spirit would not let them leave, and sent the waters out to kill them, those that didn't starve to death, one by one. In the end, the orcs began eating the goblins, and perhaps even those of their own kind. A shameful end, even in the eyes of the orc shaman who lead us to the cave and his own death as we sought to confront the spirit of the lake.

Fighting our way past the lakes other gaurdians, blue water snakes, blue crabs, Sahuagin, and even undead orcs sent up from the bottom of the lake, we eventually came to a final chamber. Therein we found a shiney, egg-shaped stone that a captive Orc had told us the spirit of the lake needed. As I picked up that stone, it was then the gaurdian spirit revealed itself directly to us, barring our bath of escape. Our first reaction was one of fear, and I admit I found myself attacking to no effect until reason took hold and I stepped back, ordering the others to do the same. Until then we had only heard bits of the story as told by Goblins and Orcs, but now the spirit explained it's side. I could not contain my emotion, nor would I chose to, and I screamed and yelled the injustice done against the community, and I explained that though we may have caused harm unknowingly, we had still loved the land.

In the end, the spirit decided to let us go and gave me the choice to do as I wished with the shining stone that it had explained was indeed the lake's own heart. Had the spirit of the lake spoken to our community directly instead, perhaps there would have been less needless killing, but I tell myself that what could have been doesn't matter now. Those who are dead cannot be returned, but there was no need now for the lake to die too. I decided the lake's heart belonged there, with the lake, and it would best be protected at the lake's own depths. Twice hidden, within the cave, and beneath the waters. So, I looked for the deepest place I could find, and I tossed the Heart in. After I watched it sink to the bottom, it was evident I'd chosen wisely, the lake began to heal itself with a brilliant flash, and the Orcs held there in it's depths dissintegrated away, free at last of their shame perhaps.

Shortly after we left the cave and went to the far shore of the lake where my home once stood not far away. There, the guardian of the lake revealed itself to us once more. It would be leaving, or ending, because of the mistakes it had made and the hatred that had grown in it's heart. But thanks to us, it said a new guardian would take it's place. It gave me a gift as well, a small, smoothly polished black stone with white specks that reminded me of the loons my younger brother used to call to on the lake. Even now as I hold the stone close to my breast and my memories of my brother stir, and can't help but to cry and smile at once. This stone, gift of the spirit of the lake, will serve as a way for the new gaurdian to call upon me should need arise, and as well, should I choose to return to the lake and toss the stone in, grant me the aid of the new gaurdian. So, I suppose, in a way I also serve as guardian to the lake now. Perhaps I'll return regularly to visit the memories of my family there, and ensure the Heart of the Lake remains in true peace. A heart of true peace, but not my own?
Title: Re: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on November 28, 2007, 09:58:06 PM: Mai 22, 1425

Much time has passed since I last took the time to write in here. I've been contenting myself with long trips back to the lake, a hermit from the rest of the world. It's so peaceful there now. Though the memories that stir of days gone by so many years ago bring with them the pain and emptiness of loss, they also return to me some of the joy of those days.

I've not seen Calvin again since our first trip to the lake with Amireana, Ben and Tariana. I wonder, every so often, how he is doing in the world. I know I've not been a very good mother to him, as wrapped up in my own grief as I had been much of his life. I don't blame him for how he feels about me now. I should have been there for him and I wasn't. But, that can't be changed.

I'm too old now to have a child of my own, and it's probably a good thing that I never did. Though, at one time it was a dream of mine to be the mother of several children. Those that would have been Erathim's children had he not died. But I have lived since then mostly by my blades, in the shadows of grief, and such a lifestyle is not compatible with motherhood I don't think.

While my time here at the lake has been perhaps the most peaceful I've experienced yet in life, my heart still does not rest. Something within continues to stir, and churn up, and cause un-rest. Perhaps I have not yet fulfilled that which the dragon Oslo called me to do? Perhaps he had some prophetic vision of my future, which has not yet been realized? Maybe I'm just looking for some reason to explain why I don't feel the peace I think I should? But, I do think it may be time to rejoin the world and see if there truly is anything left for this aging lady to do.

We all seek to find our purpose for living, do we not?
Title: Re: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on February 24, 2008, 07:10:26 PM: Apreal 24, 1429

News... Plenty of bad news. It's hard to believe it's been about four years since the last time I wrote in this book. Still, the world has turned, good folks have died, and other woes continue.

You'd think, after the skies cleared of clouds the world would be a brighter place. Of course, you'd be wrong. Shadows still lurk to steal our joy when they can. Such shadows plague my friends, Elohanna and Kryssthalien, as well as others. The current shades are nothing short of vampires bent on who knows what. I look at Elly these days and wonder if she isn't about to crack... These things of the night have already cost her so much, and still they continue to plague her.

I'm doing something about it, hopefully. In trying to help Elly and Kryss', I've met a fellow name Lewis Munsinger. He's a real charmer, if not at all subtle with his flattery. Kinda thought that funny after things with Lewis News a while back... Anyhow, I'm not entirely sure if Lewis is trustworthy or not, but he does seem sincere as far as I can tell. He even put his own neck on the line to set up a meeting for me with a man named Greenfield, a sort of kingpin in the underworld scene who's linked to the vampires plaguing Elly.

At first I'd planned to find someone else to meet this Greenfield, but there isn't time, so now I'm making plans to meet him myself. He shouldn't know me, hopefully, and I'll be going in disguise as a persona I call 'Jeeva Biir' which means "Pain Bringer" in the Old Tongue of my culture. I've gone so far as to don a set of full-plate and wield a longsword and tower shield for this guise, instead of my rapiers. Unfortunately, this guise doesn't seem to fool people who are familiar with my voice, even when I try to disguise it. That annoying fellow Trith' figured it out when he encountered me in the Forrest of Fog while I was re-acquainting myself with the longsword and heavier armor. Anyhow, it should do to fool folks that don't know who I am, like Greenfield, and that Rolan fellow I beat in a match in the arena while I was there scouting for signs of Greenfield and his entourage.

Meanwhile, I'm making some slow progress toward continuing my practice of magic. Hopefully it won't be long until I can cast spells of the second circle with some success, but then again, I've been saying that for years.

I put up some flyers trying to get Calvin and Caniel to come find me, but I haven't heard from either of them yet. It hurts that they won't even return my messages, but I guess I'll have to live without them as much as it pains me. I don't blame them, I was never there for them as I should've been. Why should they be here for me? I still love them though, and miss them.

Maybe after things are done with the vampires (if I live through it all) I'll see about what it would take to move the house, crypt and all, from Haft Lake to somewhere far from Rael's rule here on Mistone. It's sad to think I can't even practice magic in my own home there now, and I can't think Addison would approve of what Rael's done to her home either, even if she weren't the type to study the Weave herself. Maybe I'll try petitioning the Hall of Heroes again to have her remains moved there where she truly belongs after her service to the Great Oak, and just sell the house in Haft Lake and go back to living in the woods back home.

Sadly, I heard from Ferrit that Tariana Poetr has fallen for the last time. I keep asking why it's always the good folks who die too soon. I'm sure Ben's not taking things well either, and I worry for their child, Danny. I didn't really know her as well as I should have, but Tariana was always real nice to me. If anyone did credit to her faith, I'd say Tariana was one of those who did.
Title: Re: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on March 29, 2008, 12:54:07 PM: Oclar 25, 1430

I'm rather astounded at the moment...a little overwhelmed. Not even sure I -should- write about things... But I feel like I need to just to sort out the happenings of the day.

It all began with what was to be a nice dinner with Danny... He had asked some time ago if there was a way to repay me for some things I gave to him, and at the time I told him a nice dinner would do. Well, he'd finally managed to arrange a dinner for the two of us at the Twin Dragons in Leringard. He even hired a serving lady for the event and I guess had gained the favor of Tyrian enough that she'd cooked things for us before the event. So, I got a nice invitation from Daniel to meet him there in the early evening hours. I have to admit, I've admired him for some time now because of his honest nature and good manners most of the time. Not to mention he's a bit of a hunk in his own right. Anyway, back to the point, I got myself all dressed up in a very pretty gown I'd made and went to Leringard to meet him there. I was really looking forward to this dinner. Almost like a giddy little girl sneaking out for her first romantic encounter with the boy she had a crush on.

So, we had dinner, and it was pretty nice, except for the tension that seemed to be goin' on between Danny and our server... I think her name was 'Dessa' or something. I have to add, Tyrian's garlic trout was simply a wonder for the tongue to enjoy. I really oughta get her recipe for that. Nothin' I like more than good brain-food, except gourmet brain-food that is! But, more about dinner... After we ate the main course (and boy does Danny eat fast! and from the way it smelled, I think that server might've over-cooked Danny's roast pork a bit when she re-heated it... Anyhow,...), we went to sit in front of the fire and have some pie for desert. It was blackberry pie, and tasted really good, but not quite right (and that's because, we think, the serving lady put something extra into it). Needless to say -something- had me getting real hot, and experiencing some feelings that a lady really ought not write more details about...but since I'm not truly a lady by any sort of noble title or anything... Well...let's just say Danny was lookin' really appealing and I felt compelled beyond reason to be with him. It was really quite dizzying and confusing... I wanted to be in control, I struggled to stay that way, but there was Danny looking so fine and ... I couldn't resist. I found myself smothering him in kisses, and the ocasional playful nip here and there... if I hadn't suddenly remembered the Traditions I think a lot more than just kissing would have happened. I even wanted it too, in a way... but fortunately I wanted to remain pure more, and to stick to the Old Ways like I have all my life.

Anyhow...as -whatever- had effected us began to run its course and subside, I regained more composure and Danny and I talked a bit. Well, after he went to the kitchen to see if he could find any evidence of the serving lady's mischief, which turned up naught anyhow. Danny expressed in no uncertain terms, he feels he loves me and would marry me if I consented. I told him I'd have to think about it, in a way. I'm still very much afraid inside, as little sense as it makes, that if we were to become engaged Danny would suffer a tragic fate like both Erathim and Addison did. I really do care for him. Perhaps it -is- time I put my silly fears aside, and opened my heart again for real love. Perhaps it's time to make a new set of courting garb and pressent myself to him... it's not like I haven't thought of it before now, in daydreams and flights of fancy.

On to more of that night's happenings, before I get lost in daydreams. After dinner, and our talk, we headed toward Hempstead. Daniel escorted me like the gentleman he is until he had to rush off for his duties at the temple in Vehl. So what happens next? Well, I went on my way alone from where Danny and I parted and ran across Elly, Kryssie, and some other folks. That annoying Trith' was causing quite a stir with stories that Laura, the vampire, had come back and was asking for Elly. So I went along to the Scamp's Mug with Elly and Kryssie and the rest to see if it was true... Turned out that idiot Trith didn't tell the facts straight to Elly, and Laura, or Isabella I think she said her name was now, didn't seem to know or remember Elly. If it's the same person, her head's scrambled, and she's fighting to learn to control her 'newfound' powers of sorcery. Unless that's just an act, but I don't think so, Anna believed her and I don't think she's all that easy to fool. Anyhow, the plus side there was that I got to see that irritating lout get himself turned to stone. Too bad he didn't stay that way.

Ah fudge....got to daydreamin' again while I was thinking about writing more... My mind was wandering into scenarios of finding ways just to be in Danny's company... I may as well go make those new clothes. Just hope it doesn't bring about his doom!

PS - I ain't seen Lewis in a while now, I guess he's lost interest after I wouldn't go to bed with him that last time we got together. Probably for the best, I don't think I really felt much of a connection with him anyhow, despite his silver tongue.
Title: Re: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on April 11, 2008, 02:33:52 PM: Mai 12, 1431

Well, I made a set of Courting Garb and pressented myself to Daniel. He accepted my proposal and kissed me before I could even explain fully all the details of the Old Culture customs. Anyhow, I've got a year from today to explain things to him. I'm feeling a bit giddy, even though I'm old enough I probably shouldn't. Bah! What am I writing? Giddy is good! I'm happy again, more so than I've been in years.

Daniel explained he is without finances and a place to stay, so I've set up a room of sorts for him in the library at my home in Prantz. Even though I don't think Calvin or Caniel are coming back, I didn't feel it was right to put him in one of their rooms. I wish I knew where Calvin was so I could tell him about my engagement to Daniel. I suppose he probably just doesn't care about me anymore though, or he'd have been around by now.

Teach seemed kinda interested in the Old Culture wedding traditions too, so I took some time to explain the basics to him the other day. He'd like me to write 'em down for him so he can have a copy for his library. Well, for that and maybe for Clover, who he seems to love.

I wonder who I should pick for my Viza Na'Ruvan Min A'Ona? Or who I should suggest to Daniel to be our A'Tulsaiir Na'Biirisa? So much to think about now to get prepared.
Title: Re: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on April 18, 2008, 06:09:15 PM: Seplar 21, 1431

I died while out mining gold today. I knew this time would come eventually. I can feel it. I'm living on my last tether to this world. One more death could be my very last. I'm scared. I'm afraid I may not live to see myself wed to Daniel. Or, since he's told me he too is on his last strand, I'm afraid he might not live to see it. It's okay though. I know it's alright to be afraid, even sensible to a degree. I just won't let fear control me, or paralyze me. Not again. Not like I froze up after Erathim, and again after Addison. I'm deciding to go on living, right til the second I really do die.

Whatever will be, will be, I guess. No use fretting too much about it. I will update my will though. I don't think I can put it off any longer, though I know with all honesty I have been putting it off for a long time now. I've given it some thought, and even if we both live to be wed, I'm willing the house to Calvin instead of Daniel. If I go, and Daniel lives, he still has his church to seek shelter in, but Calvin doesn't have anything...at least not so far as I know. Besides, he should be able to visit his mother in the family crypt downstairs. I think I'd like to be burried next to Addison too. I should find out how much it will cost to have the crypt expanded and start saving up to cover those costs, so that he isn't put in a bind when I die. Maybe I should have plans drawn up to include a place for Daniel too.
Title: Re: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 02, 2008, 08:47:05 AM: Mai 7th, 1432

I saw Calvin today! After all this time, it turns out he's been working a farm east of Port Hempstead. He said his grandma Caniel has been keeping in touch with him too, and explained she is tutoring children in beginners use of the Al'noth there in Port Hempstead as well.

Anyhow, Amireana and I were talking outside the city gates when Calvin wandered up. At first I wasn't sure it was him, because I hadn't seen him in so long, but when he answered my heart leapt! It was so good to see him, even if his attention seemed more fixed upon wooing Ami'. The poor boy still hasn't learned not to lay on the compliments too thickly lest he scare the ladies away, or seem insincere.

I told him Daniel and I would be wed soon, and he wanted to come to the ceremony. I felt kinda bad having to explain to him that only the wedding party could be at the ceremony, but assured him he was welcome for the reception should Danny and I pass the trials and be wed. It sure won't be long now, just a few more days til our wedding at Glass Lake on Alindor. With Mariner's Hold washed out by that big wave, we'll probably have to sail into Katherian and trek cross-country from there to get to the lake.
Title: Re: Treana Min E'Zoenna - Heart of True Peace
Post by: Nehetsrev on June 05, 2008, 09:46:27 AM: Mai 14, 1432

Joy of joys! As of yesterday I'm a married woman, officially, and finally. For the moment I've left Danael upstairs in bed sleeping blissfully. While I'm near exhausted myself from our first night together, I just couldn't wait to write about it all.

The ceremony was beautiful, if a bit disorganized. Poor Cole nearly gave me a heart attack though... We were speaking the ritual words in the Old Tongue without any real proper rehearsal and he got his lines mixed up for the A'Dose Min Im'Taro Desiir (that's the first trial, in Common, "The Subduing of Impure Desire"). I was crushed and fell to the ground in tears, getting all muddy since we were holding the ceremony on the western shore of Glass Lake. Anyhow, Cole figured out he must've said the wrong thing and asked to speak in Common for the rest of the ceremony, and when he corrected his judgement a wave of relief washed over me that just felt so... joyous! I couldn't stop laughing even while Daniel helped me to my feet again.

As the ceremony moved onto the second trial, A'Taev Min Im'Taro Lanna (that's "The Taking of Impure Love" in the Common tongue), my joyous laughter of a few moments before ended with the seriousness of what I was giving. I'd thought, and anguished, almost the whole year of Courting trying to decide on my sacrifice. It was no easy choice to make, and in the end I chose to give up the rapier Addison had given me so long ago. The adamantium blade that had seen me through so much, and which still retained it's edge and gleam just as it had the day she laid it in my hands. It tore at my heart. It was almost like giving up Addison herself. I'll always love her, and always have her memory in my heart and spirit, which was why I had decided that the rapier was my most treasured posession, and thus must be my sacrifice. Yet even now, I feel my sacrifice was less than what Danael gave. He gave up his title of knighthood within the church of Rofirein, laying down a beautifully crafted shield to signify his sacrifice. He has placed me before his duty to Rofirein, before his god. What more could be asked of him?

Finally, it was time for the third trial, which perhaps was the easiest. The A'Pojoel Min Loen Lanna ("The Cut of Lasting Love"). It was also probably the clumsiest moment of the ceremony aside from Cole's understandable and accidental blunder in the first trial. Both Daniel and I had forgotten to give our daggers to Cole and Amireanna before the wedding began, so we had to hand them to them then, and have them handed back. After that though, it was smooth sailing. Daniel and I cut eachother's left palms and joined hands, Honora wrapped the ribbon loosely around our joined wrists, poured the Urn over, and it was over. As my gaze held Daniel's eyes, and his mine, I could sense we each barely even noticed the pain of the Urn's washing (a sollution of saltwater).

As Honora tended to un-wrapping the ribbon, Daniel announced the family name we had chosen together, which coincidently was also his former surname. I'd found the word 'poetr' in the Old Tongue translates to either 'commitment' or 'promise' in the Common tongue, and fell in love with the notion our family would be one of promise and commitment. I don't think it's likely we'll have any children between us though at our ripe ages. After all, I'm fifty-two years old, and Danael is fifty-one. Even if we're still both in excellent fitness for our age, it'd still be miraculous for me to find myself with child. In any case, it was my turn to announce the new name I'd chosen, and to Daniel's pleasure I chose to adopt our new family name. I am now Treana Min Poetr, Heart of Promise! Finally, it was Daniel's turn to announce his new name. He too chose to adopt our family name (or perhaps stick with it?) but changed his first name to one of the Old Tongue, so now he is Danael Min Poetr, "Spirit of Promise" in the Common tongue.

Amireana and Cole bore witness to our new names and family, and Honora spoke the final words of the ceremony...adding her own touch. She intoned, "Then!," her voice loud and strong so it felt even the birds in the trees and fish in the water would hear, "Viza Na'Ruvan e'viza an'e'heura. Lanna, landa, landahath. Lanna. Witness and helpers see truly and hear truly. Love, lay...," she giggled a little, "plant seed. LOVE,
darn it!" Her grin as she finished was a wide one, displaying her larger canines in all their length, and echoing the happiness in all our hearts.

I think I hear Danael stirring, so I better finish up for now... hopefully we'll have our reception date set and all our friends and family can cellebrate our joyous union with us then. I think we'll book the Twin Dragon's for it, Danael seemed to like that idea the last we talked about it. No more time for writing or talkin' now though...I'm getting back to the action!