The World of Layonara
Character Development => Development Journals and Discussion => Topic started by: Nehetsrev on September 08, 2006, 06:35:55 AM
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Junar 15, 1405
It's my day of birth today, and I am now 18 years of age. So, I decided to start a journal and write about some of the significant things that happen in my life. I'm sure one day I'll be famous and people will want to know more about me. Gods, I hate people! They're always getting into trouble that I have to help them out of. It's very inconvenient. Still, it usually gives me good reason to put my practice with the greatsword to use.
I guess a little bit about my past prior to now would be a good way to begin this journal. That in mind, I'll sum up. I was 17 when I left home a few months ago. Home being my parent's pricey apartment in Pranzis (I hate the new name, Prantz). I won't bother putting to paper my parent's names, so I'll call them Emia (Mom) and Fatheln (Dad) in this journal. Emia & Fatheln were never entirely what you'd call loving parents, though in their own way they made sure I was well taken care of. Their interest in me though was only to help promote their own advancement in the social food-chain so to speak. I suspect the only reason I was born is because at the time it was deemed fashionable with the aristocracy to have a child. In any case, I do have to thank my parents for all the fine tutors they afforded me while I grew up. I learned a lot about different things around the world and even some of the sciences. I think it's because my parents would have liked for me to marry some noble-brat.
Not a life I would choose, being married to some snob. No, I value my freedom to live life the way I choose. That's why I ended up here in Hlint a few days ago, to escape the restrictive government that presides over Pranzis now under that tyrant Broegar. Lot's of folks here in Hlint seem to need help with things. Seeing as I have a conscience, thanks to an old friend who taught me to have one, I can't just ignore their pleas for help. But, again, at least it lets me put my skill with the greatsword to use. So far I've fought goblins, even to the point of slaying a leader of theirs in their own cave, I've retrieved lost records from a huge rat... or man...thing in the sewers, I've gathered various animal skins for the local fur trader, delivered some mail for the postmaster, retrieved some black goo from a dead thing that didn't like being dead in the crypts for the local undertaker, and even helped stock the weapons lockers for the city militia up at Fort Llast. I could probably list a few more things I've done since ariving. Of course I didn't do all of it alone, I had some help with some of those things. A fellow named Erik, a holy man of some religion, helped me to get the black goo from what the undertaker called a Lesser Drksoul. Later I met a woman named Ellis, she's real good with her longbow, but she's a bit odd. Strangely, her oddness makes her a little less boring than most people, so we did a few things together. I've got a personal vendetta against a certain griffon near Fort Himlad now as a result of one of our adventures together.
That brings up another odd thing. I've died a few times in the last few days, and yet I'm not dead. I think it has something to do with the big cross-like monument in Hlint that I hung around for a bit, because when I die I end up there. I'm not going to lie, dying hurts...alot. As long as I can I'm going to avoid dying as much as possible. I think the cross-shaped monument is one of the magic markers that are called bindstones, I remember learning a little about them when I was younger, and if I remember right, they aren't always reliable and a person can lose bits of their soul because of them sometimes. I don't really want to find out, so, like I said, I'm planning on avoiding death as much as I can.
Freedom. Who would have thought the gift of a greatsword and a set of half-plate armor would have afforded me the freedom I needed to leave Pranzis and live life the way I choose elsewhere? When my friend gave them to me, I thanked him politely, but rather unenthusiasticly. Now I don't think I ever thanked him enough. I think he knew I didn't like the idea of being married, and that's why he gave me these instead of a ring. Ruvan was a good friend. I miss him. He taught me the basics, and he taught me to have a conscience. Then he died defending the freedom of Pranzis. If no one else will, at least I'll honor that sacrifice he made. I'm going to learn the greatsword just as well as he knew it, maybe even better, until I can learn no more. I'm going to learn the lessons of life that aren't taught in books, just like he encouraged me to do. It's my choice, it's what I want.
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I've begun to realize I need a better sword and better armor. As loath as I am to give up the fine copper greatsword and copper half-plate I was gifted with by my good friend, I feel they are just becomming too worn to use much longer. I'll keep them, but after I make myself a new greatsword and a new set of armor from iron, I'll put these gifts in a fine place simply to remember Ruvan from. However, I've also found that making armor and weapons isn't quite as easy as it looks, so it'll be a little while before I can get the new gear made. I just hope what I've got holds out long enough to be replaced. I suppose if I get real desperate I could just buy new armor and a new greatsword from someone else, but frankly, I think I can do a better job than an unconcerned stranger. I just need to keep practicing until my skill is to my own satisfaction. Looks like I'll be doing a lot of mining in that cave in the Sielwood. The kobolds there aren't going to like that much...too bad for them.
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Augra 8, 1405
Success! After weeks of hard work I've finally managed to forge new greatsword from the copper and tin I've been mining in the Sielwood. My mining expeditions have proven of great value indeed, not just because of the latest resultant success in creating a bronze greatsword, but because of the face-to-face battle-training I get fighting the denizens of the cave. Each trip I feel a little more sure of my abilities with the greatsword, and now, with this new sword that is made specifically for my own hands I feel even more confident.
My confidence was pehaps a bit too high I found today though. In a season of poor judgement I attempted to go mining in the Haven mines all alone. I am not ready yet for such an excursion, and the ogres were quick to teach me my place for now. Fortunately the trip was not a total loss, for as I contemplated my mistakes in Hlint, a man took note of me and asked if I needed aid. Together we went back to the Haven mines and taught the ogres a lesson, and we even managed to pull out a good load of iron ore. I was able ot smelt most of it successfully, so now I have 8 ingots of iron to use when I'm ready to try making iron weapons. I think I'll continue to work bronze for a while more though to better hone my methods.
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Seplar 7, 1405
My work to master the greatsword, both from forging it to wielding it with unparalleled precision, continues to improve daily. More forays into the Sielwood mine for copper & tin to make bronze, and even a couple forays into the Haven Mines for iron, have both tested my skill wielding my blade and helped me to improve my skill crafting weapons and armor as well.
Recently, I have learned there are to be public executions in Pranzis. Much of the community here in Hlint seems outraged by this public demonstration of the 'justice' system under Broegar's rule, mainly I think because those being executed are well-known to them. I wonder how many more executions have occured wihtout public knowledge since Broegar's taken power? The world will likely never know. However, I cannot find I can totally condemn Broegar for he has brought order to the city and kept the people well-fed and the repairs of damage from the taking of the city have been quickly executed. Though I personally find his laws too limitting of personal freedoms, I cannot deny they seem to have done good for Pranzis. I will not, however, ever support in full Broegar, or his new name of my former home. I choose instead to honor the proud past I was raised in.
Perhaps it would be a good thing for places such as Hlint if general lawlessness were dealt with a bit more firmly. To the point of Broegar's law, I would not say, but many of the people of this area certainly lack the self-responsibility to be respectful of those around them. On two occasions now I've had to speak with persons on behalf of the common townsfolk of Hlint, advising them that their monstrous pets were scaring the populace, or worse that they themselves in form of wild beasts were doing the same. How can these people in good conscience call themselves heroes if they terrify the commmoners in such ways with little regard? We should not need laws to tell us what is common sense and common courtesy and act in accordance with such for our fellows and community. I am thankful to Ruvan for being the friend who taught me the value of self-discipline. I sincerely wish that all would see the light of such personal reform and take responsibility upon themselves to do what is right and respectful of those they live with. Sadly, it seems a part of mortal condition that there will always be those who have no regard for anyone but themselves.
In words of Ruvan's own speaking, "To master anything one must first master themselves."
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Novlar 13, 1405
Gods! People annoy me! Especially those snobbish casters who think nothing of the fear their spells can put into the common folk. They take for granted the power they twist forth from the Weave to make their spells work, and they take for granted all those around themselves that must witness magic called for unnescessary reason. I do not deny that magic has it's uses or it's place, but it's place is not in the safe confines of a town where there is no need for a mage to have summoned to his side a huge wolf, construct, or other beast that disturbs the peace of mind of the common folk. If the town were under attack, that would be one thing, but when there is peace an calm such needless casting is an affront to the people, and I'd be surprised if it's not an affront to Lucinda and the most of the other gods as well.
Now, I'm not one to put a lot of stock into laws, granted some are good and keep people safe, but I wonder from time to time if Broegar's laws regarding magic in Pranzis aren't needed everywhere. I believe people should be free to live their lives their own way, but with that should come the responsibility to live their lives respectfully of other's. If we govern ourselves justly, there is no need of an external law telling us what we can or can't do. Why then cannot these selfish casters see the disruption their unnescessary spells and castings cause, and thus then refrain from doing such? I shouldn't have to waste my breath and my time telling them to be respectful of the townsfolk, yet almost daily I find myself doing just that. Sometimes I wish Ruvan hadn't taught me to be a servant to those who cannot defend themselves. It certainly would be easier to be as conscienceless as these snobbish casters who seem to care for no one but themselves.
In other notes, my skills of forging both weapons and armor have progressed to the point where I will learn best if I concentrate my efforts on bending iron to my will. For this I will need to count on the help of others to go mine the iron I'll need. That means I'll likely have to share the fruits of my work among those who accompany me, making my trips less efficient in some ways than those I can accomplish on my own. None-the-less, I shall try to overcome my disliking of people in general so that I can progress further in my skills. At least I know one or two people who are fairly efficient and willing to help without being pains in my backside.
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Decilar 7, 1405
As much as I'm loath to admit it, I think I like Ellis as a friend. She can be annoying at times, but I get along with her better than most of the people I've met in Hlint. She knows when to keep her mouth shut, as odd as that sounds, and she knows how to keep out of touble too. Anyone I don't have to waste time rescuing or policing gets points in my opinion.
Now, aside from Ellis, I've started being sought out be people looking for armor and weapons. I don't mind too much. It gives me reason to continue practicing so that I can make the best greatsword and full-plate armor for myself as I continue to improve my own skills. I have to remind myself not to let my general annoyance with people show when I'm talking to potential customers though, otherwise it could cost me some sales.
It's like Ruvan always said, "Become the best you can be at something, and people will seek you out because of your eforts. Dilligence brings it's own rewards." Well, I guess I'm starting to get pretty good, but it doesn't feel that way to me. I just keep working at learning more til someday I won't have anything left to learn.
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Janra 24th, 1406
At long last I have achieved success in forging an iron greatsword! I could not have done it without the generosity of Lillian, however, for I had run out of iron to work with when she kindly laid some of her own upon the anvil. Not long afterward I finished detailing the blade and now it shines like the magnificent weapon it was forged to be. With my style of wielding the greatsword growing nearer perfection, I have taken note of my own fighting style in this new greatsword's design by giving it a single edge rather than a double edge. A part of the edge is also slightly hooked, making the blade well designed for tearing open the bellies of my foes as I have trained to do so well. I am nearing Ruvan's own proficiency with the greatsword, and I believe that it will not be too much longer before I begin to surpass him and all that he taught me while he yet lived, thus to gain the title of master. Still, even masters must continue to perfect their form, so my journey aas one learning will never be truly and completely over. That's as it should be.
To celebrate my completion of this milestone of progress in weapon smithing I went on a trip to help quell undead in a place known as Storan's Crypt. The crypt, if I remember my teachings from days gone by, is named for it's builder, a necromancer and lich of great power. Fiendishly clever in design, I found myself and some of my companions trapped within a large room for some time while wave after wave of undead rose up to attempt our defeat. The door to the room, operating on some kind of magical or mechanical timer, closed shut behind us to seal us in after the pixie friend of Mercas had opened it for us by picking the lock. In the fighting the pixie was slain and so we had no way to open the lock from the inside ourselves. Fortunately for my friend Elohanna, the door closed with her out in the halls and she was safe there, though I wager she remained invisible as long a she could, just in case the undead should take to patrolling those empty halls. Needless to say, my new weapon performed very well in my capable hands, and together with my temporary companions we laid to rest a great host of undead. Eventually, help arrived to open the door for us once more and we joined forces with these newcomers and went deeper into the crypt to slay even more undead. Our duty to purge the crypts of undead for a time finished we all returned to the fresh air of the open evening outside.
Previous to completing my new greatsword's creation, I had met a Gnome by name of Starr Sapphire. He proved to be every bit the gentleman as he was an extraordinary adventurer. I admit at times I am envious of mages and their power through bending the weave, but I must also confess that that power is quite helpful many times. I would be more happy if more mages would use their magics responsibly and only put them to use as required, not to use for every little thing as some do rather abusively with their power in my opinion. In any case, I ramble, for I meant to do credit to Starr in the writing of this portion of my entry. He aided me in mining Topaz in the place known as the Direwood Cave. Together we fought through the ogres living there to get to the two deposites of topaz we managed to find. As we worked together I explained to him my need for the topaz in making an electrical enchantment for my greatsword, and he offered his services as an enchanter free of charge to me, asking only that I show kindness to otehrs as he shown me. Since it is my duty, if not my nature, to be helpful to those in need I gladly and greatfully accepted his deal. When I have gathered another topaz and the other ingredients nescessary, I will ask him to make another enchantment for my friend Elohanna. I think that a fitting gift to her for the help she gives me by digging clay and even venturing into danger with me from time to time.
All in all though, people still annoy me, but it's good to have a few friends.
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Febra 17, 1406
Perhaps I have found something greater than myself to work toward, something that might help not just one or two at once, but the whole world. As I descended into Hlints crypts to purge some of the undead and lay troubled souls to rest, I came upon Caighd, a man I had met once before. As we began to converse I realized that though he said he was through reflecting on things, his heart was still troubled. Being the lousy do-gooder that I can often be despite my general disliking of people, I further pressed him for information about what bothered him. After all, one cannot help with a problem one does not know the details of.
It came out as we talked that he was lamenting the disease of the mind that had befallen his sister, even that in a way he felt responsible for her condition. Though admittedly from the telling he gave it was not his fault at all, but the fault of the man his sister was to marry or had married while he himself was off devoting his life to following his god. No man can be in two places at once, well accepting some mages I've seen I suppose. I do not understand why so many seek to take blame for bad things that happen that they could have not known would happen, or could not have stopped because of their not being there. I digress though. As he told me of his sister's mental illness, a piece of memory from my tutoring as a child sprang up in my mind, thank the gods for that half-addled teacher Dookal who often mixed legend with his history and geography lessons. Dookal had once taught me of a place called Amarylla, located according to legend in the Broken Circle region of the Shattered Mountains in Belinara, or what is now called Xantril. According to legend Amarylla, a temple and monastary, was touted as being renouned for being the greatest center of healing for both mind and body. In any case I did not immediately remember the name of the legendary place, so Caighd and I made a trip to the Great Library in hopes that texts there would jog my memory and so eventually it was jogged and I told him about Amarylla.
Perhaps it is indeed a very long-shot, a half-crazed scheme to give hope to a man who seemed to have none, but Caighd did indeed seem to take hope in the legend of Amarylla, finding it, and someday bringing his sister there to be healed of her mental illness. If only we knew where exactly where to begin looking, but at least it seems reasonable to check with historical or archaeological groups on Mistone and Dregar for some clues. Caighd and I reasoned we could not be the only two people who wished to find Amarylla, therefore it would be best to find out what others before us may have found out about it's locale. Since the legends say Amarylla was purposely hidden by those who dwelt there, it may be hard to find indeed, even if we know where it is. Still I think we should try, not just for Caighd's sister, but for the world of those who suffer similar ailments.
I've heard Xantril is still the most dangerous continent of the world, as such I will have to learn to better master my blade even more before we set foot in that place. I have a greater good to work toward now, a purpose beyond simply becomming the best at wielding my blade as I can become.
Oh, another thing to note, I now have a couple more topaz clusters to bring to Starr with the other ingredients to have made a couple more enchantments for my friends. Friends...there's that silly word again. I do not want friends, yet I cannot help but have them it seems.
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Mar 18, 1406
What things of significance to write about today? Hmm... well over the past few days much has happened. I've learned to put additional power into my attacks when I need to, though this does throw off my accuracy a little so I don't use the technique much yet. I also finally got around to making the longbow I promised to Elohanna, and she was very pleased to receive it. That snobbish Elf, Isendel, was with her when I delivered it and questioned my intent and honor in giving the gift. Having had enough of his disdain for humans I decided to teach him a lesson in humility. I used his own pride against him and cleverly manuevered him into accepting a duel with me. Once at the arena we were joined by Lillian who acted as a witness and officiator.
The duel was quick and rather one-sided. To his credit Isendel managed to land one blow upon me and inflicted a fairly deep cut. On the other hand, I displayed my skill with my blade which he had only a short time before discredited as having no finesse or art, and I soundly showed to him the art, finesse, and power in the forms I have studied of the greatsword. He picked himself up off the floor dazed and defeated, and perhaps I was not as polite as I should have been in my victory, for he left quckly after without a word. Perhaps he will have learned a lesson from this duel, and if so he may become a valuable friend, if not then I pity him for clinging to Elven pride so much. As for my own pride, we can say Lillian certainly purged me of any notion of that in just a single blow from her scimitar when we sparred after Isendel left. One day, perhaps, I will have risen to her level of mastery and we will have a rematch to shake the pillars of heaven.
After our brief time a the Velensk arena, Lillian and I traveled to Pranzis and from there set out to slay giants. Unfortunately, we were joined by some rather questionable associates of Lillian's. The Half-Giant, Bakee, I did not mind, but the two Drow, Daralith and Caldiir, I was loath of. What lows has Pranzis fallen to under Broegar's rule that drow can wlk the streets un-challenged! In any case, I do not trust those Drow, even though Lillian seems to place some level of trust in them. Indeed, when Lillian announced she wasn't feeling good and left our company in Saudiria, I quickly departed and made my way back to Hlint alone. I hope to never be in teh company of those two Drow again, their very manner and pressence makes me wish to gut them.
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Apreal 6, 1406
Ogres...Who has much regard for them at all? I know I certainly didn't until I met Glurgle. While by Human standards Glurgle isn't all that bright, for an ogre I'd say he's a genius! Elohanna and I were making our way through the mines of Haven, fighting as we had to to reach our goal of iron when we came upon this smart, and somewhat friendly ogre. He was mixed in with a bunch of dumb ones as he put it, who simply charged at us and fell before my blade, but not him. He raised his hand to wave us off and spoke to us in the common tongue. As we were speaking another stupid ogre charged Elohanna and I, and we were force ot put it down, and Elohanna in her panic, or zeal, accidentally continued to launch arrows form her longbow at Glurgle before she caught herself. Needless to say, Glurgle was a little irritated at being shot, but he kept his cool well enough for an ogre and accepted Elohanna's apology after I explained to him the bow was new to her still, and she just rather enjoyed using it, much the same way he probably enjoyed smashing things whenever he found a new club. We told him we didn't really want to kill any more Ogres if we needn't, and after speaking with him for a while he agreed to a deal. We would fetch for him a large amount of food and drinks (namely strong drinks of the ale variety) and he would, if pleased with what we brought, give us some iron in exchange. Perhaps I am too hopeful, but maybe one day ogres and humans can co-exist in peace if more of htese kinds of arrangements can be made.
In any case, Elohanna and I set out to gather food, being joined by a man named Hawklin, and the Elf Isendel along our way. We warned other adventurers we saw going into the mines to be mindful that not all of the ogres were would nescessarilly attack them and to be sure they wouldn't kill Glurgle if they came upon him. I'm not sure our story was believed, or if any whom we warned really cared one way or the other about the possibility of a friendly and somewhat intelligent ogre based on what reaction, if any, that we saw from them.
In the end, we returned with food aplenty and drinks too and found Glurgle just inside the entrance as he had said he would be. After giving him the food we'd brought, and talking a little, Glurgle shown himself true to his word and gave to me and to Elohanna a fair ammount of iron nuggets, fifteen in total. Hawklin seemed pleased enough just having met a smart ogre that could talk rather well, and Isendel... well, he was just himself.
Sadly, I don't know if such trades will continue in the future because Glurgle explained that the other ogres don't want to give up the ore, or the mines in which they live, though the possibility of relocating them to another nearby cave where they wouldn't be bothered by us was brought up. Glurgle seemed a bit afraid that the other ogres might smash him if they knew he was dealing with us, but still he promised to try talking to them on our behalf to see if a more firm trade agreement could be set up. I'm afraid from now on, whenever I kill an ogre I'll find myself looking closely at it's face to be sure it wasn't Glurgle.
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Mai 23, 1406
I went back to the mines of Haven again. I needed more iron, and I got it. Still, as I ventured into the mines toward my goal I kept calling out for Glurgle, hoping to see him alive and well still. On my way I encountered Elohnna, Isendel, and a few others with them. They were being besieged by a good number of ogres and seemed to be in trouble, so I stepped in to help them. After the last ogre fell they were going to turn back and head for the surface, yet they were so close to the area rich in iron that I asked them to press on with me. Normally I can handle the groups of ogres that seem to be appointed as guards over the ore, but with this group things didn't go so well. Isendel doesn't seem to have any grasp of tactics, and rushed forward drawing them all upon us at once rather than one or two at a time to be handled much more safely. The result of his carelessness was the death of one of our number, a brownie who had gotten cornered by the large group of ogres. That wouldn't have happened if the ogres had been drawn out one or two at a time.
After I mined a bit of ore, so that the little one's death would not be in vain, we headed again to the surface. There, thanks to the power of the bindstones, we met the little one in weakened form. After resting we went back into the mines to help him recover himself. As long as we were there again, I opted to fight the new group of ogres guarding the ore so that I could mine some more since the first haul had been rather meager. It was after I finished mining that I found Glurgle had revealed himself to the others back in the hallway. He seemed happy indeed to see myself and Elohanna as well.
We spoke a bit more with Glurgle and he told us there were other ogres who thought like him, that the fighting wasn't what they wanted, or rather more the dying. Again I brought up the possibility that moving the tribe to the un-named cave not far away, near the mercenary camp, would be the best option for everyone, his tribe and the people of Haven who wished to mine the iron freely again. He genuinely seemed more open to the idea this time, but stated it wasn't something he could do alone and that it would take him time. I think a little time spent negotiating with the ogres to leave peacefully is well worth the effort. He wanted to know more about the cave I'd mentioned, so we took him there to look around it a bit. Unfortunately, as we made our way out of the mines we were ambushed by a group of the 'stupid ogres' and again lost one of our number. Glurgle offered to bring a healer who could help, and he did. Unfortunately again, almost as soon as our friend was raised by the healer, we were besieged by another group of 'stupid ones'. I tried to help the Healer fight off the attacking ogres, but in an instant of confusion he got between one of my attacks and it's intended target, and the Healer fell to my blade. Words cannot express the guilt I feel for being the end of one such as this gentle ogre who brought back from death one of our own, even as accidental as the Healer's death may have been.
Glurgle was saddened by the death of his friend as well, but was understanding and decided to press on with us to visit the other cave. Once there, he seemed rather pleased with it, and even more so as we continued to point out the benefits it offered in comparison to the Haven mines. Less intrusion upon his tribe would mean less deaths among their numbers. Also, there pressence there would help the people of Haven further by making life tougher for the brigands camping nearby. The ogres could raid the brigand camp as much as they liked as far as the people of Haven are concerned I believe. Still, I have yet to gain audience with the Lord of Haven Keep to bring to his attention this new-found possibility of peacefully relocating the ogres and re-opening the mines.
Glurgle asked me to forge iron weapons for he and those ogres that think as he does. I do not know that it would be such a good idea, and I explained to that the people of Haven likely wouldn't go for that. It didn't occur to me until later that I might offer to make armor for them instead, since armor can't be used so readilly to kill, but could still better the chances of the 'friendly' ogres in their efforts to clear the new cave of foes. The next I see Glurgle I will offer the idea of making armor for he and his associates. First I wish to gain the audience with the Lord of the Keep though, and explain our ideas and efforts for peace with the ogres. Perhaps with the support of the Lord, and the people of Haven, we can resolve this situation to the benefit of everyone, including the ogres. Meanwhile, Glurgle said he will try to talk more ogres into supporting a peaceful resolution as well.
It is a delicate situation. There is not enough food in the world at pressent to make offering to feed the ogres in exchange for iron a viable option. The best solution would be to convince them to move. In the new cave they would be free to fend for themselves without constant raids by the people of Haven seeking iron. On another level, we dare not let the ogres become too powerful by arming them or supporting them too much in other ways, as this could spell disaster for us as well if they get out of control. It makes me feel good though, to work with Glurgle and try to find a solution that will be good for both our peoples. Perhaps the needless killing can be put to an end and the iron mines can be returned to operation at the hands of the people of Haven.
On a more personal note, I feel Elohanna may be a bit torn in her feelings due to the strife between myself and Isendel. I would not continue in strife with him if he would be more respectful of Humans and the other races. His Elvish pride is more arogance than anything else, and I will not be belittled simply because I do not possess the same Elvish heritage. Anything an Elf can do, Humans have proven themselves capable of, and in some cases better at, yet still he clings to his ideas that Elves are superior and all others are rather insignificant. So what if we live shorter lives? It does not make our lives of any less value, nor our contributions to the world any less significant. Isendel reminds me in many ways of the snobbish nobles my parents would have liked for me to marry. Perhaps that's another reason I cannot seem to get along with him.
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Augra 7, 1406
A good deal of things have been going on that I suppose I should write about in this journal. I feel with each day I grow nearer to achieving the level of mastery of my old friend and teacher, Ruvan. After I have matched his skill, it is likely that I will be thought of as a master of the greatsword, as he himself was known. Though I am sure that I will go on learning even more about the art.
Indeed, I am also sure my skill as an armor smith will continue to improve, especially with all the practice I'll have to put in to fill the huge order that Lillian has given me to work on. Twenty-four suits of iron half-plate, she has requested of me, in exchange for another six of the enchanted lion-skin bags from her clients. She says she can tell me no more than that the cause the arms and armor are for would be something I would be most happy to assist with anyway. I can only wonder if she's being completely honest with me though, with the level of mystery she shrouds the dealings in. "The walls have ears," she said when I tried to ask for more details. In any event, it is going to take a vast amount of iron, and time to gather it, in order to make all that armor, but the six lion-skin bags seem well worth it. Perhaps I'll gift one or two to Elohanna since she helps me so much. I might even ask her to help by making the patterns for the suits of half-plate for me, to save some time and gold.
Thinking of Elohanna, of course brings me to my next thoughts to write upon. Isendel has no less than called me a beast to my face, when I was acting the more civil of the two of us! He also let slip a comment saying I was an 'infuriating woman' which gave me thought that he may think of all women as inferiors. Being the good friend that I am, I told Elohanna of his behavior, and warned her that I did not think it wise for her to become involved with him. She was saddened to hear of the way he'd acted toward me, and agreed that she likely would not enter into more than friendship with him, if even that was to be maintained. I cannot understand how the two of them can be from the same city and yet have such differing views about we of other races. The root likely lies with Isendel's teacher, who from the way Isendel acts, must be a rather imbecillic Elf who's never left Voltrex, or who has had a bad experience with a few members of other races and mistakenly judges all members of those races as inferior as a result. Though in my feelings of anger at the way Isendel thinks and acts I would very much like to sever his head from his shoulders, I will refrain from acting the less civil if only to prove he and his moronic master's teachings to be false.
Lastly, I still await to recieve word that my request for audience with the Lord of Haven Keep has been granted so that I may propose my idea of helping the ogres re-locate. Hopefully word will be returned soon and the Lord will hear my words and give permission to proceed.
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Seplar 1, 1406
This huge order for armors is taking me much longer than I'd hoped to fill. I've completed six suits of iron half-plate, one quarter of the order, but it's taken me days to do it. The iron veins in the Haven mines that I've been able to reach haven't been producing much iron on most of my trips lately. Seems I'm lucky to pull out 5 or 6 nuggets from mining three seperate veins, so at one or two nuggets a vein things are going slowly. Especially slow when each suit of armor I need to make requires eight ingots of iron, and I fail as often as I succeed when making the armor. Still, I will fill this order, and I will fill it as quickly as is possible for me to do so.
In other thoughts, I haven't seen Caighd in quite some time. I wonder if he thinks I've forgotten my promise to help him find Amarylla? I suppose it might seem that way to him perhaps, but I haven't forgotten. I have been very busy with other things though. I'm still awaiting the chance to speak with the Lord of Haven Keep about Glurgle and the other Ogres of the Haven Mines. And, of course, I now have this huge order for armor that I've been slaving away at. Maybe once I've finished with this order I can seek Caighd out and see what progress we can make toward Amarylla, and barring that, perhaps I'll get eh chance to work more with Glurgle and hopefully getting the ogres moved out of the Haven Mines and into a new home in the Un-named cave to the west of Haven.
Who would have thought when I left home that I'd end up involved in such important affairs? All I wanted to do was get out from under the oppressive laws that Broegar's rulership was chaining down my freedoms with. Ruvan's teachings of duty to help those in need have put me into the middle of these things. Though it can be trying of my owm personal feelings and patience with people in general, I must admit that it does often feel good to help where I can. Even stopping to tend the wounds of a Dwarf returning from fighting Gnolls while I was on my way back to the Haven Mines lent to me a certain satisfaction. As much as people annoy me, it seems most often that I cannot help but to help them when and where I can.
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Seplar 16, 1406
I continue to mine the iron I need to fill the huge order for half-plate armor, and though ogres always attempt to bar my way, I feel badly of having to slay any of them to get to what I need. Most show evidence of nearly animal intelligence, and I know they attack only because they see me as an intruder in their home, and also in these times of near famine as a possible source of food from which to sustain themselves. Some would say that the ogres are "inherently evil", though I do not judge them so. Not after my encounters with smarter ogres such as Glurgle. I truly wish more ground could be made in convincing the whole tribe to move to the Un-named cave to the west of Haven so that miners such as myself would no longer have to kill Ogres to reach the iron and other minerals and ores within the Haven Mines.
I do not understand why so many simply seem to enjoy killing the Ogres, and indeed, go out of their way to do so. Still, there are others who think more closely to the way I myself think, and for them I am thankful. I would go so far as to say that others, who think nothing of killing Ogres or other "inherently evil" creatures are themselves evil in their actions. Ruvan's teachings mean more and more to me each day as I see their insight and revelation unfolds before me. If it is the duty of good people to protect and aid those who need protection and aid, does not that duty extend to even the lowliest of creatures? Should not peaceful means be sought in all instances before things come to bloodshed? Even after bloodshed has begun, should not we contiue to search for peaceful resolution to end the bloodshed, if it can be found? This is what makes us humane, and what separates us from animals. Truly, even many animals show more mercy and compassion than I have seen some purportedly good people show. If we aid the Ogres through peaceful means now, perhaps they will one day help us in rememberance of our aid to them. Even if they never do, is it not our duty to hope for and do our best to promote such a time, that all races might one day co-exist in peace?
As Ruvan once said to me, "Mastery of the blade gives us the power to offer with confidence to all the chance to choose good over evil." Until now, I never understood, I only sought to master the greatsword for the power it would give me. I am thankful that Ruvan guided me into using that power with responsibility. I feel pulled to follow all his teachings, but they often frustrate me. Sometimes the path seems too hard and I'd just give up and walk away. No one's appointed me shepherd, after all. Why should I care about the lives of others as long as I live my own rightly? Maybe I really am a fool to be so idealistic and expect others to cease killing. Gods! Am I turning into a zealot in a way myself?
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Oclar 3, 1406
The other night I went to dinner with Caighd at the home of his family. He is a nice man, indeed. His family are nice too, though his father is a bit stoic. His mother happily doted on me in a cheerful manner, always a smile on her face. Still, though they welcomed me almost like one of their own, I felt uncomfortable around them all. I'm not used to so much attention I guess, at least not with genuine interest behind it.
In any case, though I do feel a little uncomfortable around Caighd even, I still found myself pouring out my frustrations to him about the Ogres of Haven and the general attitude of most 'good' people I've related my hopes to. I really should try harder to focus more upon helping him find Amarylla for his sister, and also for the seven sleeping children he told me about, as well as the rest in the world that it would benefit. It seems he spoke with a fellow named Ozy who told him to check with the Keep of the Tome for more information about Amarylla. Only problem is it seems the location of the Keep of the Tome is also a big secret, and even if it weren't it sounded like they would gaurd their information closely and we'd have a hard time convincing them to share it with us. Since it was brought up that this Ozy had been to the Keep of the Tome himself once, I thought to have Caighd ask him to show us the way, but a bystander to our conversation said that Ozy was now 'sleeping' which I guess means he went into a long seclusion or something. Since I remember from my history lessons that Amarylla was linked to a priest of Aeridan, I suggested that Caighd try contacting someone in the church of Aeridan next since it seems unlikely we'll find the Keep of the Tome and be allowed to find the information we seek there. Again, of any organization in the world it seems most likely to me that the Aeridinites would have the most information or clues about Amarylla of anyone.
At least my efforts to fill that huge order for iron half-plate are nearly over with. I've only three suits left to be crafted and then I'll be done with it. Then I think I'll get back to focussing on my blade-work for a while. It seems a good place to practice may be the Direwood, near Fort Velensk. There are monstrous spiders there in vast numbers, as well as other, darker things that should provide sufficient challenge to me. One area of my swordwork I need to focus on more is learning to avoid being hit by my foes while still keeping in position to strike at them effectively. The poison of the spiders ought to offer a great teaching tool and incentive to improve that area of my art. Once I've mastered this area of my technique I will have attained the level of mastery of Ruvan, and after that I will be on my own to develop my art further.
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Jenra 26, 1407
Much has happened in my life since my last writing. I've had a couple more meetings with the Ogre Glurgle, and I finally received my audience with Lord Rodor of Haven Keep regarding the idea to help the Ogres relocate to the Un-named caves west of Haven. Lord Rodor is skeptical and finally agreed to consider the idea further if I could fulfill two requests from him.
The first was to take with me to meet Glurgle and the other friendly Ogres a group of persons to bear witness that Glurlge and the other Ogres with him were as reasonable and benevolent as I have claimed. This task of course proved quite easy to accomplish, though now that Glurgle's influence is growing among the members of the tribe the other Ogres under the direction of the current chief have begun assualting them somewhat regularly. Still, the number of Ogres in support of Glurgle has double in a matter of days from 12 to 24. Also of interst, on a previous visit Elohanna and I taught Glurgle how to draw using a burnt stick as charcoal on the cave walls, and now almost all of the Ogres with Glurgle have also begun drawing pictures of their own, showing them capable of learning and doing more than just bashing things.
The second task set to me by the Lord of the Keep was to find out what happened to a shipment of weapons and other equipment consisting of two wagons worth of goods that failed to arrive at Haven from Port Hampshire and to prove that the ogres had nothing to do with it. In our investigation of the disappearance of the wagons I and those with me to bear witness discovered that the wagons had been beset by Gnolls. The gnolls responsible appear to be of a new clan not normally found in the Haven area, and they seem to have the ability to disappear almost with the wind. We tracked the Gnolls back to a large and well organized camp deep within the Sielwood. Three of our number fell to a patrol from the camp and we were forced to retreat to Haven where we will offer our report to Lord Rodor. Further proof that the gnolls we encountered were responsible for the loss of the two wagons was provided when we were able to find weapons in their possesion bearing the marks of the weapon smiths of Port Hampshire, and when we found the manifest of goods for the shipment in one of the two wagons that had been hidden off the side of the road.
I, and others of our group, feel that something big is going on in the Sielwood and that the Gnolls are only a part of that. This presents a new problem for the whole area of Haven and Hlint, and perhaps even more of Mistone as a whole. I have a tentative plan for dealing with the Gnolls, but it would involve the help of Glurgle and his friends doing some fighting, which I'm not sure he would be willing to commit too, despite our 'friendship'. Lord Rodor has made it clear that at pressent the forces of the Haven area are spread so thin that he cannot spare anyone to help us. Perhaps with the testimony of this new threat more aid can be mustered, though I will not count on it.
All of this is giving me a headache! I never wanted to be a leader. Yet, here I am smack in the middle of this finding myself leading a group of people, many of whom annoy me to no end. I had to go on a long walk on my own to clear my head, eventually finding myself in the Direwood fighting spiders and spectres. Indeed, I fought them quite well and I feel that I've finally begun to surpass Ruvan's level of mastery with the greatsword. I am nearly one with my blade, and such an intimate connection has brought to mind a few alterations to the design that I will try in my next blade. I would like to try my hand at forging the next one of adamantium, though first I must find a way to procure some of the rare ore. I've heard it exists solely at Firesteep, a very dangerous place if ever there was one. Looks like I will have to begin putting up with more people in order to get the ore I need, despite how much they annoy me.
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Apreal 8, 1407
Indeed! Why do I even bother to put faith into the goodness of people at all? Another bunch of bloodthirsty murderer's too eager to spill blood of any kind to stop and give hope to the possibility of peace or innocence. Why don't others seem to be able to see the opportunity we have with the ogres through Glurgle and his friends? Instead they make light of the ogres they needlessly kill and pointedly mock me with phrases like, "No, ogres are fuzzy...We're looking for some to invite for tea ...."
I begin to doubt the sincerity of Sindor and his claims to think much as I about the ogres and killing in general. How can he not be decieving himself when more than once I've found his chosen companions to be bloodthirsty murderers at heart? I will not judge him too quickly, but once more in such company and I will have to confront him. I know he cannot control the actions of others, but he can control his own actions and make sanction against murderous behavior by leaving those that act that way as I do.
At least Elohanna is of right heart, and I am thankful for her. Of all those I've come to know since arriving in Hlint, she remains truest.
Days like this one cause me to wish to just leave them all behind and become a hermit. Yet duty prevents me. That conviction of what is right that Ruvan taught me pulls at my heart and I force myself to stay. If not I, who will stand for commoner and peaceful ogre alike? True, time and again I think it would simply be easiest to abandon the ogres, and abandon my duty to the commoners for whom I also oft speak... But Ruvan so wisely taught me that doing the right thing is oft the most difficult and always the most rewarding. While doing what is easiest is a sure way to moral turpitude.
...And those Gnolls... What are they up to? What can I do to halt their evil plans? For indeed, they are most assuredly up to no good.
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Mai 26, 1407
I think I upset Alaria with something I said and she ran off. Elohanna ran off after Alaria, leaving me to talk with Omer for a moment at the campfire outside Hlint. Omer was wanting to organize a trip to Dregar to hunt giants. Normally something I would be willing to do as my duty to protect the commoners of my homeland, but today I just didn't feel I could. My heart is heavy, and my focus slips a little lately. Not to a degree that it brings much danger, but still, I can feel that my focus isn't what it should be.
Met an old Elven lady today too. Her name is Caniel Scarlace. She seems a bit embittered. Not that I'm one to talk.
Guess I haven't written before about Alaria either, though I met her a few days ago. Seems she's the daughter of the woman who was once Elohanna's own nanny. For the most part she seems quiet. I wonder what I could have said that caused her to run off? Maybe it wasn't anything to do with me anyway.
Haven't seen Glurgle in some time. I hope he and the other friendly Ogres are doing well and staying out of too much conflict with the other Ogres. I'm guessing they've gone into hiding to protect themselves, and their more stupid tribe-brothers and sisters.
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Junar 19, 1407
Wonder of wonders, Elohanna and I, along with Elohanna's friend Alaria, bumped into Glurgle again in the Haven Mines. He told us how he and the other friendly Ogres had to find a new place to live and had moved to a hidden mine tunnel they could block with a boulder to keep the stupid ogres out. I was so glad to see Glurgle was alright, that I forgot to ask him if he and the other Ogres might help with the new Gnoll clan in the Sielwood.
I did remember to give him the iron chain shirt I'd forged for him and I'm glad to have that weight off my back. About five times the normal amount of iron went into the making of that chain shirt in order to make it big enough for Glurlge's huge frame, and indeed I may have over-estimated some as the thing hangs rather loosely on him, but he still wears it with great appreciation. I taught him to use grease in order to care for the armor and his sword and help keep them from rusting, since it seems oil is something still beyond the reach of Ogres in many regards. Elohanna gave him the masterwork ring she'd made a week or so ago, I was almost jealous.
It seems that the number of friendly Ogres still grows but Glurgle couldn't give us an exact count of their number this time as there weren't enough fingers and toes around for him to count on. He also told us he has a son named Gundle who is good at acting stupid, but is just as smart as, or perhaps smarter than Glurgle himself. Gundle stays mixed in with the stupid Ogres and helps protect the friendly ones from them by ensuring their new home remains a secret. Glurgle says Gundle even speaks the common tongue better than he himself.
Sad news reminding me of a regretable day, the friendly Ogres have only healer left among them. Glurgle says this last healer has become quite an artist as well and has drawn the history of the friendly Ogre's upon the walls of thier new home even using colors. I'll look forward to seeing this mural, as art has always held my interest, and art from an Ogre is a thing unheard of until recent days.
Alaria... What to say? She's a mage, like Elohanna, though less experienced and more apt to make mistakes. Several times I've been singed by her lightning bolts or fireballs and have had to reprimand her. She also seems to get into trouble more often than Elohanna, and I've had to use a good number of healing potions on her to keep her safe. All of this makes her quite annoying, yet still, for some reason I not only tollerate her, but feel I may even like her to some degree. Maybe it's her child-like ways that draw out my compassion? Or perhaps it's her fool-hardy bravery in the face of danger that I can't help but find amusing. I'll continue to try to teach her to keep herself more safe and learn to better judge the battlefield so she can cast her spells without harming those with her.
Then there's Caniel. As stated before, she is stern and perhaps a bit bitter, yet her honesty is refreshing. She is well-seasoned, and knows better to cast her spells more effectively for each situation. She seems to favor those spells that assist her companions in doing their job rather than directly damaging foes so much. With her spells helping to further empower myself and my blade I am able to even more quickly devastate foes when it comes to fighting. I admire her responsible use of magic, and it's mages such as her that are the exception to my general disliking of spell-castors. She once served in the royal guard of Pranzis, but long before Ruvan's time.
I am a little disappointed in Omer. We made a trip together to the Barbarian Isles and it didn't go so well. I chanced to take him to the cave of the goblins there, though I suspected such a venture might be beyond my abilities. We were in the cave, down near where the saphire is found and some goblins mounted on worgs spotted me. I fought them as best as I could, but they over-powered me. I shouldn't have been counting on Omer for support I suppose, for he came ill-prepared and had no potions to aid me with or perhaps I'd have lived through the encounter. Yet as I fought and cast my gaze around looking for his aid as I fought he was no where to be seen, cloaked in invisibility. I can say that as I made way to return to the place I had fallen he did at least cloak me in invisibility as well, though he did not remain to see if I made it or not. Perhaps it's his inexperience that caused him to be so unreliable. I know I will not easilly entrust myself to rely on him in the future, though I will give him the chance to redeem himself, if only for Elohanna's sake and my friendship to her.
In relation to my friends, I came to an odd realization. Despite my general disliking of magickers, it seems most of my companions of late are all Elven mages of one kind or another. Caniel made the comment that I'm an Elf magnet and asked if I have Elven in my blood. Of course I don't. There's Elohanna, Alaria, Caniel, and Omer, all mages whom I find tollerable at the least, if not dependable and responsible. I have few other persons I regard as friends who are not magickers, Ellis being one that comes to mind, Sindor another. The Dwarf Fragnath may be friend-material, and took it surprisingly well that I bested him in a 'king-of-the-hill' match up in Shoufal. He also endured a few jests at his expense that I made. Odd how life works out.
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Augra 8, 1407
Why is it the kind of people that most annoy me seem attracted to be in my pressence? Bah! Lately a zealot of Aeridan by name of Tarquin Aurora has been following me about almost like a lost puppy. Fortunately, he does not seem to be intent on converting me as most zealots tend to, and neither has he condemned me for killing the creatures I must to get the things I need for my crafting practices as most Aeridinites tend to do. I still try to avoid killing when I can, and even when forced to fight I prefer to simply disable my foes, leaving them unconscious and unable to fight, rather than kill them. A being can often go on living without a hand to hold a weapon after all. Perhaps such might learn or teach others by their example that fighting without need is both un-wise and un-profitable. Maybe then will future generations learn to seek peace instead of resorting to killng as thier means of resolving dispute.
I passed Caighd on the road recently. He only nodded solemnly in passing. I should have turned about and engaged him is speaking, but I was helping Tarquin with a task he'd been set to. I don't know why, but I really like Caighd though we've only spent a few moments here and there together. He's just so friendly, I guess... and I wish I could help him more with his sister.
Indeed, I've written enough for now, time to go do some collecting for that dark-skin Drow in Lellion. He pays quite well and I need the money badly enough. Though I've yet to hear tales of a Drow saving children...
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Seplar 2, 1407
Blast that wool-headed fool of a man! Just when I was beginning to actually think I liked him as a friend he turns out to be of the same murderous heart as so many others! The nerve of him to suggest I don't know honor! Honor is based upon the execution of justice and fairness with all! It's based upon a respect for life, all life! How is it justice to execute someone for a crime they haven't yet committed? Yet these bloodthirsty fools insist on seeking out those they deem enemies and striking them down before any crime has been proven. The need to kill is defined in the present, not the past, and not the future. It is in the pressent that a being either attacks and shows dishonor and the need to be killed, or refrains from bloodshed and proves themselves just. Deeds of the past are past, and a being could have found redemption for them. Deeds of the future cannot be judged because no one can see the future for certain. Be ready to fight, yes, but always, always, always offer your oponent the chance to avoid fighting! How is it honorable to take revenge upon those who did not attack for the actions of those who did attack?
I wanted to shout at him, I wanted to lecture him, but I could sense his ears unwilling to listen, set in his erroneous ways... So I left. I even left Elohanna, and that I am ashamed of. I was so angered I stormed into Hlint without care to even hide my distaste. And when my anger broke I cried alone by the pond. How could he be that way when he seemed so good? Why can I not find friends who value life as I do? Why do I feel like a blasted zealot?
I hate people! No matter how good they seem they always let you down.
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Seplar 13, 1407
Things seem to be going somewhat to plan. And other things may not be as bad as I wrote before. I'll start with those I guess. I must be carefull to reign in my quick judgement with people in general, it only causes grief it seems. I spoke with Daniel when he came to apologize, I tried to help him see truth the way I do, but I think him too set in his ways still. But he did at least listen, somewhat.
Perhaps I have become something I detest, a zealot of a sort, but not for any god. None-the-less, how can I walk in peace when I am in conflict with myself? I would wish to see all peoples live with respect for one another, and work peacefully together for the common good. Such are my ideals, but I know people are not able to govern themselves so well all of the time, or indeed any measure close to most of the time. I would wish to see each individual regardless of race or religion judged for their own actions alone, and given opportunity to choose to live a good life rather than being slain for crimes they personally did not commit without fair judgement or chance of redemption. These are ideals planted in my heart by Ruvan, before I ever knew their meaning fully. It is because people always ultimately fall short of these ideals that I find myself enraged at thier actions and attitudes. I try my best to live the way I see as right, but even I am not able to stand up and do what is right much of the time. Another side of me wishes to take the easy route, and slay without question as others do. Indeed, it would be easier to get along with folks such as Lillian and Daniel who think they do good without realizing that their actions only propagate further violence and injustice.
Ruvan taught me to use the blade is a responsibility...to wield any power is such...so great a responsibility that we must weigh our actions before we take a life, for once a life is taken it oft cannot be returned.
In other matters, a course is set, the docks of decision left behind with seas of action ahead. Today, after briefing Lord Rodor with our report of our findngs regarding the missing wagons, and livestock, and the pressence of the new Gnoll clan, we went to the Haven Mines to seek out Glurgle. The plan has become to enlist the aid of the Ogres of the Haven Mines to help remove the Gnoll threat so that they themselves may move into the forrest. Glurgle called his friends to himself and they agreed to this course of action, but explained first that the whole tribe must be unified. With that he gave orders to his followers to begin waging war against the other Ogres of the mines, they will seek peace under Glurgle's leadership or be put down. Glurgle made it clear this was not our war to fight, and bade us wait outside the mines for the outcome. I hope he and his followers are successful in untiing the tribe. I hope then that the Gnolls can be removed from the Sielwood, the Ogres moved there to live peacefully, and the mines returned to production for the Haven community.
Unfair to the Gnolls, perhaps, but they seem unwilling to negotiate peace, and have even made a full-scale attack on Haven while most of our party were in the mines. Muireann and Valaria stayed behind, perhaps in disagreement with our plan of action, but I am thankful anyway since they were there to protect the townsfolk, and to protect our retreat from the mines.
Glurgle mentioned a Gnoll had been seen in the mines perhaps a week past, and I believe the Gnolls may be planning to lay siege and take the mines and Haven for themselves. I hope that Glurgle and his followers are strong enough in number to help turn back such attack if it happens. Perhaps I place too much faith into my hopes and this will all end in even greater tragedy than the current status of things encompasses. Yet now it is too late to turn back our actions. The sea of action must be weathered until the other shore is reached or we perish in the journey. If this gambit fails, I will be in disgrace, and labeled perhaps a traitor to society. If it succeeds, I may be hailed as a hero, though I do not wish for that either. I simply wish a better world for all.
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Oclar 1, 1407
Upon hearing the town cryer in Hlint announce the goblins in the are becomming a larger problem, I joined others at a meeting in the courthouse to see what was being done about the problem. Officer Garrent informed us that a new tribe of goblins was threatening to replace the goblins of the Red Light Caves outside Hlint. These new goblins were not only tougher and more skilled in combat, but some could wield necromantic magic and other spells of death. They had been traced back to a cave behind a waterfall up in the Grey Peaks, and Garrent also informed us that the overlord of the Red Light Goblins had shared information that some sort of stone tablet was what was giving the new goblins their powers. Rather, Garrent explained, the tablet was magicly corrupting the goblins, and it was also feared the same would happen to the ogres in the area. Another group had already been dispatched to investigate the cave in the Grey Peaks, but it was learned they were in dire need of reinforcements. We were sent with haste to reinforce the first group, destroy the tablet, and return to report to Garrent when it was finished.
With my prior knowledge of the land up in the Grey Peaks I found myself taking command of the group, though my advice was oft found ignored by those too impatient to wait and develop sound tactics. Those hasty ones quickly learned to respect my advice, the hard way, as some fell not far into our venture. We were met with a fair amount of resistance as we made our way up into the mountains, though oddly we saw no ogres along the way, only the 'corrupted' goblins. Finally we came to the area of the waterfall, and just in time bring relief to the advance party. After we slew the waves of attacking goblins and the rest fled back into the cave, I quickly sought out the man named Roy as Garrent had instructed me to, and I explained why we'd been sent. I asked him what more he could tell me of the situation, but there was not much left for him to tell.
Finally, we entered the caves and battled our way downward, encountering a couple of magicly warded and trapped doors along the way. The further we went, the more we could feel the effects of the tablet trying to corrupt us as well. Indeed, one among us on two seperate occasions began attacking others in our group. In the end we had to restrain him for everyone's safety. Ultimately our journey brought us into a huge underground chamber where we found the last of the goblins surrounding the stone tablet. We charged them and began attacking, slaying all but the overlord who seemed impossible to harm. Our tactics changed to destroying the stone while keeping the goblin overlord at bay. One among us channeled a vast amount of magical energy into the stone, I am told, shattering it to dust. Quickly after the goblin overlord fell and we rested before returning to town to report to Garrent of what had been accomplished.
I witnessed the strange markings on the 'corrupted' goblins first hand, butI do not know if they bear any relation to the markings upon the Gnolls of the new clan we found deep within the Sielwood while investigating the disappearence of the wagonload of weapons bound for Haven. Indeed, Elohanna told me of another attack on Haven by the Gnolls that occured just today. Still, there has been no word from Glurgle or the other friendly Ogres, so I must conclude their civil war still rages below the ground within the mines, or that he and his followers have lost their fight. I hope sincerely that they are still fighting strong and will emerge victorious and in good enough shape to help us remove the Gnoll threat.
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Oclar 8, 1407
Spirits were sighted within the Haven Mines. I went with a very large group to investigate them further. We put to rest the spirits and then pressed further into the mines only to run across Glurgle and some of his friends. We informed Glurgle of the spirits and he stated he had not known of them previously. I also asked if there had been any more Gnolls in the mines, and he repiled that he had not been given any reports of them being there. The origin of the spirits remains a mystery. They were in the area of the cells on the 2nd level of the mines, so they could have been the spirits of those tormented in the cells at one time, or they may have been summoned by one of the chieftains shaman, or by the Gnolls whom I believe also have an interest in the mines.
In bringing this large group into the mines for this investigation, I feel that many will now prove to be dependable allies in the service of Haven, and it's denizens, Ogres and other folk alike. Indeed, many with me gave food and money to donate to helping Glurgle's Ogres and the defense of Haven from the Gnoll threat. I shall have to see the money entrusted to Lord Rodor as soon as possible, and the food brought to Glurgle and his group.
People still annoy me, but I am grateful that at least some have begun to listen rather than mock.
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Jenra 9, 1408 - Beginning of the end?
I sit here for a moment between the battle in which many of our number just fell, and our discussion to decide what next step to take. The situation is grim at pressent and I fear I have failed the common folk of Haven, and perhaps all of Mistone. Haven has fallen to the Gnolls. We think the Keep is still intact, but it likely cannot hold for long. Our scout, Uiliam, reports the town is over-run with Gnolls and that they've captured and beaten Pyyran to near death. The mines are also now filled with Gnolls.
The only possible bright side to the situation is that Glurgle's Ogres won against the old regime under their former chieftain. The former chieftain had even stooped to taking Gundle as hostage, and we went with Glurgle to see him challenge the chief and save his son. With the last of opposition removed, the remaining Ogres left Haven with us to assualt the Gnoll camp. We arrived only to find it abandoned by the Gnolls who had snuck away to lay siege to Haven in our absence. If only ihad been more adamant in leaving a larger force behind to defend Haven it might still be in our hands... and here in is where I failed the people.
We returned with haste to Haven, but forgot to call the Ogres to follow with us. I had assumed that they would, but instead they stayed at the Gnoll camp. I shall try to talk the others into returning to bring the Ogres back with us to Haven, but they do not seem willing any longer to listen to me. I couldn't even find the beaten path to the Gnoll camp when I tried to fetch the Ogres myself, so poor are my tracking skills. I will have to learn to improve them as I can.
While I was lost in the woods, the others captured a large black stone from one of the Gnolls. It appears to be what gives them their markings and allows them to fade from sight at will. I think perhaps it may be linked also with whatever power might be behind the Gnolls, and voiced such to empty ears it would seem. The one called Thorn carries the stone at pressent, and he seems intent on attempting to infiltrate Haven himself using it's powers. We have managed for the moment to talk him out of it, but who knows how long common sense will prevail? Perhaps we should bring the stone to Spellguard to have it examined by the mages there? We ourselves were not able to discern much from it.
I feel almost ready to give up, but that would not help the people of Haven, and I know it. I suppose I will have to exercise my authoritative nature again and bring the group to order once more if I can. I still have no idea how we might re-take Haven now, even with the help of Glurgle and the other friendly Ogres. The Gnolls simply appear too numerous and too well organized.
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Novlar 12, 1410
Well, it ended some days ago with a huge and brilliant magical symbol in the skies over Haven. We defeated a shadow being that had been posessing the Gnolls that occupied Haven so briefly and yet wrought terrible devastion in their time. The remaining Gnolls went to refuge in the Haven Mines, unfortunately, and there were too many for us to drive out. So, at the same time I have achieved a victory in moving out the peace-seeking Ogres under Glurgle's chieftainship, I have suffered a defeat in the results of my actions neither freeing up the mines for use nor greatly benefitting the Haven community. Indeed, it would appear my quest has brought more harm to Haven and it's common folk than if I had never dared to dream of it to begin with. This burden will always weigh heavy upon my heart, for in essence I have in this instance failed the people whom I serve.
I will not give up, ever. I may have failed in this, but it is not a total failure, and I know there was little way I could have forseen the circumstances with the Gnolls going the way they did. Even had we elected to keep a force at Haven while the rest went to the Gnoll camp, we would not have been sufficient to hold Haven against their host... We did not know at that time of the shadow creature controling them, nor how to defeat it. It was by a miracle that we even managed to capture the very stone of power the being sought and learned to use it against him. Another miracle still that Muireann was able to finish the spell to banish the shadow-being even after it tore her arm and leg off and killed me outright for attempting to attack it with my ineffectual adamantium greatsword...and that Elohanna had the insight to order the stone be smashed to save us all.
By my own vow, I owe Mist a donation of ten-thousand Trues which I will bring to her temple and then pressent the receipt to Muireann when next I see her. Of course, I'm not exactly sure where Mist's closest temple is, so I'll have to ask around. Perhaps that Songbird will know? I believe he sails the seas oft enough that he ought to. I owe him a telling of the tail as well, so perhaps I can get him to loosen his lips in some regards for me.
My service to the common folk goes on. I've heard of some trouble with goblins around Hlint, I'll check into that next I suppose.
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//This spot reserved for the telling of the events of the 'Goblin's Revenge' quest series.
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Junar 16, 1410
Just a few days ago it happened again. I died on the field of battle in an attempt to harvest mahogany in the Thunder Peaks and the Soul Mother came for tea. Well, perhaps not for tea. She took yet another strand from my soul, and now I have but one more such strand left to me. The next time I fall could very well be my last, but then again, as fickle as the Soul Mother can be she may allow me to die many many more times than that before taking my last strand. But I am forced to consider my mortality very carefully now.
I have always known my life would end, and so dying is not something I fear. I fear dying without having left the world a better place than it was before my service to the people began. I must consider, have I lead a life that has brought good change to the people? Or has it all been waste? Sadly I think the later to be more close to the truth, for I cannot put my finger on any one thing I've accomplished for the good of the people at this point. Indeed, I did lead a campaign to relocate the ogres of the Haven Mines, only to have them supplanted by Gnolls who terrorized Haven in their stead. I also helped defend Hlint and the surrounding areas from the transformed goblins, taking up my role in destroying the tablets which had perverted them. Indeed, I have also donated countless weapons and armors of my own making to relief efforts in Roldem, and to the Princess Kayana Memorial in efforts to ensure that local millitias are well outfitted to stand against the new dangers arising in their realms. But what of my goal to one day see Pranzis restored to the freedoms it once held? No progress have I made in that regard, my once home still stands a monument to tyranny of a quiet kind that looks good from without despite the blackness underneath the polished surface much of the world sees.
Yet here I am forced to consider my own end which could come swiftly the very next time I go to fight for the good of the people as I see it. I suppose I should write a will and testament now, so that those who know me may distribute the things I have accumulated the way that I wish them to be distributed. Not that I have accumulated much in my time, my very short time since leaving home some 5 or 6 years ago.
---------- Last Will & Testament of Melanna Jin'Daern (as of Junar 16th, 1410) ----------
Any gold within my bank account I wish donated to the betterment of the Haven community, to help rebuild the town after the invasion of the Gnolls.
My weapons and armors then, I wish to be donated to the Roldem Relief, for such things should be put to good use in aid of the common folk.
Any crystal rods, lumps of coal, or bags of sand and such that may be on my person or within the storage of my room in Omer's home at 118 Fort Llast I wish for those to go to Omer, for being a friend to me despite my inability to act friendly much of the time.
Any jewelry, gems or minerals, gold or silver nuggets and ingots, or blank scrolls or parchements, I may have with me or in stores at Omer's home I wish to go to Elohanna. Likely these things were collected for her to begin with as well, in honor of the close bond we share, she my scrawny Elf who I ever sought to protect and who I grew to love like a sister. My hope is that she will use them to continue to make those fine and delicate pieces of jewelry of which my eyes ever looked upon with admiration, much as I admire her for being the jewel that she is.
Lastly, I would request that word of my death be brought to the Ogre Glurgle, friend and chief of those Ogres who moved from the Haven Mines to a better place within the Sielwood. With the word of my death I wish he to be given a supply of blank parchment and charcoal writing sticks, and upon one scroll I wish penned to him the words, "Love Thy Neighbors. How you treat them today will determine how they view you in the future." He may not be able to read the words himself, so when pressented it should be read to him. If Glurgle himself has passed, I wish these things be given to the one among them they call Healer, as he will likely appreciate them in Glurgle's stead. If both Glurgle and Healer have passed then these gifts should be givne to Gundle, Glurgle's son.
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Mar 15, 1411
I've been lax in my duty to the common folk lately. Instead of being out there serving them, I have been focussing instead on my own human frailty. Indeed, I mostly stay 'home' and keep to my room these days, with the occasional short-lived trip to Hlint or a tavern to hear some music or stories. I wonder what Songbird thinks of me now?
Bah! I hate this. Why am I so afraid now to die? I never was before.
It's humorous I think... I walked a ways with Muireann to the temple of Mist in Lellion so I could make the offering I promised. We actually got along, and talked at great length. I wouldn't say we're exactly friends just yet, or that we ever will be, but we understand eachother I think and there's some shared respect between us. At least I feel I respect her more than I first did, even if I don't agree with her principals.
I haven't seen Elohanna in a while... To be honest with myself, I think I'm hiding from her in a way. It hurts me deeply to think that the next time I die I may be leaving her for good. I think if she sees me less before I go, it will be easier for her to go on without me.
I'm not ready to leave yet... Before I knew I could die for the people and never flinch at it... but now I wonder if I've missed the point of life. I haven't really lived for myself ever... I've purposely shunned people to avoid familiarity that might lead to ...more. Maybe I should try to learn to love someone before I go? And I'm still so young, it seems too soon to die and be gone. Maybe I have more to offer the wo... more to offer myself than life behind the blade.
Indeed, the fine adamantium greatsword that Lillian gave me the ore to make sits cold on my weapon's rack these days. All my swords are there together, unused and useless as I myself have become in my fear of death.
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Mai 28, 1411 - Three Cards
Well, that was an intersting night last night. I read a flyer saying the Lellion Arms would be open and knowing that I'd likely find Songbird there, I decided to go for a night of entertainment, and maybe other possibilities...
Okay, so I made a bit of a fool of myself obviously flirting with the Songbird all dressed up in my pretty blue dress. How was I to know he was already spoken for by that other woman? He'd never mentioned it to me, not that I'd asked or that it would have been any of my business. Indeed, he could have at least made it evident earlier in the evening though. It's not as though he didn't flirt back some. I saw how he looked at me in my dress. He even called me, "Princess." If I weren't seeking his attentions I'd have likely slapped him for that. I wonder if that woman of his would mind if I borrowed him for a bit of 'sparring' anyway? It's not as though I'm in love with him, I just wanted to experience ... Well he strikes me as one with a lot of experience in bed. Anyway, if the cards are right it's for the best I didn't gain those attentions of his, or any other man's.
About those cards... I could sense the artful craft behind that woman's 'reading', Miss Kali. Bah! She's good. I'm still wondering a little if it was more than just a trick done for entertainment. Those three cards did seem to apply more than I'd have liked, but I wasn't about to let that show. Or did I? Anyway I'll write about the 'reading' just to remember it better so I can laugh again later on.
The first card, repressenting something from the past, was 'The Heirophant', upside-down in relation to myself. The picture on the card shown a male elf with slighlty greenish skin, his hair is full of brambles and small animals all about him as he leaned on a tall walking stick. She spoke of it saying, "When ill dignified, or reversed such as this... The card represents several things of a person's past... Most importantly though it represents misleading or dubious advice, and .. poor counsel. Sometimes it is unconventionality and rejection of "family" values so to speak. It would seem that somthing in your past reflects this... It also represents the distortion of truth surrounding this past.." I told her how my parents neglected me while I grew up. It seemed to me the most applicable interpretation of the card.
The second card was then turned, repressenting the pressent in relation to the context of the first card. She said as she turned it, "The second card is the present days that surround you. It will show somthing in your present that is tied to this distorted past.." The card turned shown a great Dragon centered on the front, the image, with outspread wings took up the entire card. There was a slight magical aura around him, making him magnificent and godlike. Again the card was upside-down to me. "Rofirein," she began to explain,"In this orientation he represents Injustice. Inequality and bias.... Delay. or imbalance even. unfair or delayed judgement. Either you waited until the present to judge somthing from your past, or you judge it unfairly... It could mean that your present is full of unjustice, stemming from this past." I jumped to the thought that she was going to try to tell me I should forgive my parents because I was unfairly judging them or something, and told her point blank that I would never forgive them. She turned the card slighlty as if considering it further. "I'm saying that it is possible that the poor council, or lack of values in the past that you were suroounded by could be causing.... mmm a lack of judgement or poor judgement on silmilar things in the present." So she was making me to blame it sounded. Not a surprise since I usually rub most folks wrong I thought.
So she reached out to turn over the third card and said, "The third and final card. One of a glimse into the things that have yet come to pass." The image on the card had a striking resemblence to Allurial, she had beautiful blue robes with golden trim and a crown lighlty upon her head. "The Queen," Kali proclaimed, and once more this card was also upside-down to me. "And so what future does this card speak of?," I asked in challenge. She answered unperturbed, with a nod, "Your future remains much the same, at least when it comes to this path. The queen card in this orientation represents Possible domestic problems, financial difficulties, lack of affection and achievement. Possible problems with relationships leading to promiscuity and if your not careful this card often fortells of an unwanted pregnancy." I had to chuckle at that and I added, "Yes, well most people annoy me. So relationships would be a problem. Though I have been looking for a good man to bed lately." She smirked at that and went on, "Should you wish to fix that, you will have to rewalk the past, and consider that in your present. It seems that it is indeed perhaps the unfair judgement of something that leads you to this.. future. Unless you want yourself a child.. I would not rush into things..," she paused to point at the Queen card again, "But.. Thats just what the cards tell me to say." Then she winked. How could I answer but truthfully? I said, "No, a child would not be good. I'll be dying soon enough I'm sure." Then, scooping up the cards off the table and stacking them into the deck once more she nodded slighlty, looking at me in an almost peculiar manner and said, "I hope you will consider what you heard tonight. But that is all I can say for now.. " It almost seemed like she knew more than she was letting on, but I paid her her dues anyway and went on my way, playing the whole thing off as just a spot of entertainment.
Truth is, I felt like the cards really hit some things dead on about me. My head says it's all just a parlor trick, but I can't help but wonder. I was set to start enjoying life for myself some, and would have even bedded the Songbird for a bit of enjoyment... But I can't afford to bring a child into the world. I wouldn't want my child if I had one to grow up unloved as I did, and with my death imminent and my feelings of duty still calling to me, I know I could never be a proper mother. So, I guess that sort of enjoyment is not to be had for me. Maybe I can find another way to live for myself...
And then there's Elohanna. I as much told Eghaas I've been purposely distancing myself from her lately. Not because I don't love her friendship, but because I feel that if she forgets about me before my passing, the news of it will come as less of a blow to her. Now I question myself. Is it really best for her, or is it my own pain I seek to avoid? I've lived my life alone, pushing people away at every turn. I don't know if I could change that even if I wanted too now. Perhaps the last card is right, and I will end with lack of affection or achievement and be forgotten. Maybe I'm already forgotten by this world, never having been so much as a faint memory even to my parents.
Indeed, likely so.
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Oclar 4, 1411
Well, while the cards might not be able to truly predict the future, a bit of reason can conclude that I almost made some big mistakes, and the cards did help open my eyes to that in their way.
First off, I've always been aware I'm not the best with other people, and friendships especially. So, after some more thought I've decided that though I may have convinced myself I was staying away from Elohanna for her good, the truth is I was running from my own fear of death and even more fearful to me, loss of her friendship. Loath as I am to admit the scrawny Elf is indeed the closest thing to a sister, or even to family that I've had my whole life. Even Ruvan drew the bounds of our relationship at instructor and wise council, perhaps friend. I viewed him almost as a father, and he was more of one to me than my own had ever been, but still not what a father should be entirely.
My duty to the people calls, and I will no longer let it go unanswered. If I die today, or tomorrow, it doesn't matter to me anymore. It doesn't matter if I make any impact at all in the world, or if I never see Pranziz free from Broegar in my lifetime, whatever may be left of it.
Likewise, my duty to myself also remains. I am determined to find enjoyment in the time I have left. I am determined also to try to learn more of things I was never taught of friendship and maybe even social grace. Above all, I will seek to judge fairly my own worth, because I am highly valued by those few who know me well enough. This was evidenced in my talk with Elohanna today as she brought up name after name of people who have missed my pressence of late, and who she said worried for me. Indeed, my parents instilled in me a lie I have yet to truly overcome, and they taught me that I was worth nothing by their own acts of ignoring me and their twisted sense of what brings value to life. Perhaps this is the misjudgement the cards spoke of, that I misjudge my own value bacause of the way my parents neglected me.
Elohanna has a cause to free the world of slavery. It is a lofty goal she may never truly reach, but it is a worthy goal and I will support her in it. Slaves are people too, though the slavers would devalue them just as my own parents devalued me, and moreso.
May I serve the people to my last breath.
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Febra 28, 1412
Well, it's been months since my last journal entry. I still have received no word in return from Lord Rodor of Haven Keep regarding my idea to further strengthen relations between ourselves and Glurgle's tribe of Ogres. Perhaps I'll send a second letter to the Lord of the Keep. I feel that I would at least like a response, even if it is not the one I'd prefer to hear.
In other events, I find myself examining my own life and finding it somewhat empty. I've been alone all my life, and I cannot understand why I wish for more than that now. I don't want to marry, and I don't want a child, or do I? My feelings seem clear but there is still a yearning for some form of closer copanionship in my life. I talked for some time with Elohanna about such when I bumped into her at Lake Rilon. I count her my closest fiend, but in truth I distance my self even from her in many ways. Deep down I know she's right, I am someone special, but I can't seem to convince myself of that ever.
I feel in some ways my expertise is slipping. I offered to help another friend, Amireana, to retrieve yet one more bottle of that Oil of Vukas that Jaunita lost up in the Greypeaks. We were well on our way there when we were caught by surprise by the Ogres in an ambush. We both fell. I should have been able to handle the Ogres on my own. I went back alone to prove to myself i could do it, and I did succeed in acquiring the bottle of oil. It was fortunate that I bumped into Amireana on my way back out of the mountains, she looked as though she were about to try for the oil by herself once more, and I know for certain she is not yet skilled enough for such a venture. She told me she had even been back with some other woman and they'd both fallen to the Ogres as well. That explained the remains I saw on my way to retrieve the oil myself.
Gods! I wish I could escape these urges that plague me. It seems I cannot help but lust after men lately, especially Songbird. His lady won't share him though, so I suppose I am fortunate. I enjoy spending time with him though. He's handsome, cute and witty, and not half-bad with a sword either. His song enchants me and inspires me to greater skill with my own blade, but those moments of inspiration only last so long. Curses upon those cards! I wish they'd never opened my eyes so fully. Still, it is good they did. I cannot afford to have a child, can I? Blast! I've even had thoughts of Pyyran, Daniel, and Benjamin, failing that I bed the Songbird which is of course unlikely to happen. It's good I haven't seen any of them lately.
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Mar 24, 1412
Confused now more than ever. I don't understand exactly how it happened. I'm not even sure about how I feel about it quite either. There we were in the hallway and I just did it. How can such feelings be so strong and I so weak as to lose control like that? Though, truly, I did feel so much better for a time after we talked and he fell asleep holding me. And then Omer walked in and I had to explain. I'm not sure I did a good enough job explaining though since I still don't understand it all myself. After that I took him to my room, thinking it better for him than to sleep and awaken on the hard floor of the hallway. I left him a note too, so he wouldn't wonder when he woke, about how he'd gotten there or what may have happened while he slept. He must have been really tired as I don't think he even stirred at all as I carried him from the hallway.
I don't even know what I want or expect for certain. Yet I almost felt as though I were asking him to leave her for me. And he almost seemed as though he would if I did ask him too. I don't want to break his heart if I do figure this out and find that I don't want to be with him that way... He's already had it broken enough by others.
I hate my parents! This confusion is all their fault! I should go back and confront them, make them care for once about me, their daughter. Make them see who I've become even without their love. Maybe then I will believe it myself, that I'm a person of worth as my friends keep telling me I am.
Curse the Soul Mother and curse those accursed cards!
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//OOC - The following is a narrative of Melanna's final moments alive in Layonara, as such it's not an actual entry in her journal like most other posts in her CDT are. She was a fun character to play while she lasted, and I'll miss playing her.//
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Mai 11, 1412
Melanna walked down the road from Hlint toward Fort Llast. Her eyes searched every shadow of evey tree and rock as she passed, remembering all too well a past experience on this very road that had lead to the loss of a piece of her soul. That had been the eight time the Soul Mother had yanked a part of her away. She'd lain in a pool of her own blood after stumbling into an ambush of murderous rogues and mercenaries that took her completely off guard. She cursed herself every time she passed this way for being so careless on that eve some year or two ago.
Tonight the road was empty. There were no bandits to waylay her this time, but her careful eyes searched for them none-the-less. She would not be so careless again, she had resolved. The embarassment of awakening in her room in Omer's home, a dagger left with her by one of her 'saviors', a reminder of her own stupidity in her eyes. She thought she was even more stupid now, for seeing it as such when the fellow who'd given it had intended it to be a comfort. Bridges burned. Her life was full of them it seemed to her now.
And then there was a surprising, confusing, frustrating something that had begun between herself and Daniel. She couldn't even begin to puzzle out her own feelings entirely. Did she love him, or at least want to? Where would such a thing lead? Somewhere she had vowed to herself she would never go, marriage perhaps? What hope did she have of any such thing being who she was? Knowing she only had one last strand of her soul to keep her going?
Yes, she'd lost her eigth strand on the road to Fort Llast. Her ninth was lost in the Thunderpeaks in the lands of Dregar as she went with Freldo, Lillian and Elohanna on a trip to gather mahogany. Losing that piece of herself was almost enough to cause her to lose her will to keep fighting on behalf of the common folk. It had almost been enough to cause her to give up entirely. Then lately she'd begun to have those damnable feelings rising up in her, making her lustful for the company of a man. She guessed it was to do with her realization of her own mortality, and that she had little time left and wanted to find ... something ... before her end. Love, self-worth, family? What that something was that drove her lately she was afraid to know.
She wanted to put those thoughts and feelings behind her for a while, which was why she walked the road home to Fort Llast. She planned stopping at her room to change before heading to the Lellion Arms for a night of hopefully good entertainment. She wondered if she'd see Freldo there, her Songbird as she'd taken to thinking of him. She knew nothing could happen with him because of his lady, which might be the reason why she made such a show of persuing him she pondered. Her thoughts twisted about in the instant and returned to another man. Daniel... She hated to admit how comfortable she'd felt in his arms that night in the hallway. More than the simple lust she'd convinced herself she wanted, there was something in just being held that moved her heart. Her heart wondered if there could be ever more than friendship between them, and she quickly made to squash such thoughts with her mind. There were a number of reasons it couldn't be, she told herself.
Getting her mind back on track she focused again on the night ahead at the Lellion Arms. She hated crowds. People in general still annoyed her to no end, but she'd braved crowds before to hear bards sing or tell stories. That was what she went to such events for, not the people but the culture, the songs, and the stories. Such things were what she fought on behalf of the people for, to preserve the culture for future generations. To preserve the people. She wondered for a few moments as she appoached the door to Omer's home, how might Glurgle and his tribe be fairing in their new home deep within the Sielwood? What works of art were made to preserve their own history? She really hoped his tribe would continue to grow and become a peaceful nation and good neighbors to the other nations of the world. She still had received no reply from Lord Rodor regarding her wishes to continue to act as a liason between Haven and Glurgle's tribe.
Turning her key in the lock, she opened the door and stepped inside. There before her were two men she'd not expected to see, Omer and Daniel. In mid conversation, Melanna entered to hear Daniel saying, "My skill at the loom .." he paused to sigh, "abysmal does not do it justice."
"Hello Daniel, Omer." She smiled at the two, secretly trying to put down the feelings that began to rise at sight of Daniel.
Daniel who still spoke to Omer went on to suggest further, "Mayhap a sheet from a futon eh?" He grinned and the long ends of his moustache tipped upwards to either side of his mouth.
Omer didn't seem to appreciate the jest and he stomped off down the hall saying, "Bah," as he went.
"What's got a bee in his bonnet?," Melanna asked Daniel curiously.
Daniel laughed, smiled, and bowed to Melanna. One word he uttered in response to her question as he returned upright with a smirk, "Toga.."
Melanna was confused for a moment by the word and watched as Omer began to return from down teh hallway. "Indeed?," she querried of Daniel, just before she remembered what Omer and Elohanna had been discussing a night or two before. She focussed on Omer once more, "That's right... Elohanna was going to be taking you to that toga party at the Arms."
"Aye indeed," Daniel began, then raised an eyebrow at Omer himself, "hmm."
"I need to work on the outfit some more," said Omer as he fidgetted with the hem of the toga-like garment he was wearing.
Daniel announced his supposition in regards to Elohanna's feelings for Omer, "She likes you, Master Omer. Tis apparent even to a fool such as I."
"They're friends is all Daniel," Melanna was quick to correct. Noting the way Omer looked into the light of the portal nearby though made her wonder. She turned a significant gaze upon Omer and went on, "At least... that's what I've been lead to believe."
Daniel shrugged, "And whom told me to keep faith in love just days ago in this very spot Miss?"
Omer made exscuse to avoid the conversation further, "I'm off... I'll see you friends later." He hid emotion behind a smile to them both.
Melanna understood, or thought she did. She nodded to her friend, "Farewell Omer."
Daniel then winked and turned to Omer, "Pray go if you must Omer, for if I should fall asleep , Miss Melanna shall carry me to bed once again..." he watched as Omer stepped through the portal then finished, "eh sister?"
"Keep faith in love?," Melanna asked as she looked back at Daniel, quirking an eyebrow at him in the now empty hallway. She couldn't remember saying those words herself, but it had been a very emotional time that night... It could be she may have.
"Aye," he said as he looked into her eyes and smiled wide.
His smile surprised her and she blushed slightly under such admiration as it seemed to her to embody. She tried to hide behind a quick tongue and a light-hearted chuckle, "You're cute when you smile."
Daniel apparently was not to be fooled so much, "No pretense, I beg. I tire of games. Why do you fight your feelings so hard Miss?" His smile faded just a bit as the sincerity of his comment came through in his voice.
Anger rose up in Melanna defensively adding a touch of heat to her retort, "Games? You think I play games?"
Daniel leaned close into her space, "Nay, I think you play games with yourself, trying to deny thy own feelings. Emotion be not a great sword to wield or not wield as you desire."
Her tongue was moved by inground thought born from years of training herself as a warrior. "Bah! Emotion must be controlled or it will bring one to ruin!," she began but her voice quickly softened as she added, "In battle..." and she trailed off. The chaos of emotion inside her churned, and her heart and mind had come to a moment of unity once more as she realized that her rapid conditioned response was not really aplicable to the current conversation in the way it came out.
"Do we fight a battle now, herein M..sister?," Daniel replied challengingly.
Melanna sighed. Her feelings still confounding her in many ways, but she tried to explain, "It is not a game to me in any way Daniel. And yes, for me dealing with these emotions is a battle. I'm sorry I've involved you if it is inconvenient for you." She paused and her mind turned to a question she'd mulled over several times in the past few days, "And what am I supposed to make of this bond?" She held up her still healing hand to show to him the scabs still upon it from where he'd pressed the thorns of a rose into her palm and his own so that their blood would mingle. Blood brother and sister he had announced to her at the time. Her question internally came forth, "Is it not uncouth to love one's relatives romanticly?"
Daniel seemed to ponder her words, then shook his head, "Too long I have dwelled in my own misery, I ignored you at times and I cry thy pardon. Make of it whatever you wish." He smiled, then began, "Mine heart," his smile faded and he sighed, "still belongs to another, but .."
Her tongue began to fly though he wasn't yet finished speaking himself, "I could ask you what you want. A sister or a lover?" She paused briefly as he waited to continue himself, but again she spoke first, "But the question is unfair to you when I don't even know what I myself want."
"I will accept whatever you wish for .. I name you sister first to let you know I care deeply.. more than that ..be up to you," he stated patiently, "If it be simply that we lean on each other as comrades in arms, then so be it. If it be more," he stopped to look at her pointedly, "I would do such for two fold reasons... and they art here in this hall." He ended his statement with a soft smile to her.
Melanna felt for a moment as though she wished to scream, but that was felt deep inside, on the surface she bore calm as she answered, "I don't know what it will be, but I doubt it will be simple." The calm broke for a moment and she grimaced in her frustration, but the grimace was quickly replaced with a smile. She decided it was time she went to do what she came to the home to do, and that was to go change for her intended trip to the Lellion Arms. "Daniel, I need a moment... would you wait in the living room for me and I will be with you shortly." Her tone was businesslike, but not so cold as to push him away.
"Still fighting eh? Good. For I would not expect an easy battle from you," his voice conveyed a deep respect for her. "As you wish," he agreed to her request.
As she turned to walk down the hallway to her room around the corner she uttered a quiet, "Thank you," to Daniel.
She went into her room and closed the door behind her. She hoped the few moments alone would help her calm the storm she felt within herself as she opened her wardrobe and took out her fancy blue dress. She laid it neatly upon her futon for a moment while she took the time to undress out of her under-armor. She realized it was foolish of her to deny any longer that there were some strong feelings she held within herself for Daniel, but she knew also it would be foolish to rush too quickly into anything. At least that's what she told herself. She thought to herself again how foreign love was to her, how she couldn't possibly understand how to deal with it. Or maybe how she simply wasn't worthy of it. She was a warrior, first and foremost, wasn't she? A relative peace she reached as she changed allowed her to exit the room with grace and purpose once more, so she thought.
She rounded the bend and pulled open the door to the living room to step inside and once again face Daniel. As she walked across the room toward him where he sat upon one of the couches facing her, she could hear him gulp loudly and he quickly fumbled to his feet. She looked at the couches arrayed in a rough circle trying to decide whether it would be most appropriate for her to sit on one nearby, or to sit on the same couch next to him, but the fuss he made over her now caught her off-guard and found she could not avoid blushing.
"Milady.. I," he began as he stood there, "am simply stunned."
She looked down at the floor self-consciously, trying to hide the smile spreading across her face. She gracefully sat upon the couch in the spot next to where he had been sitting, still looking downward and hiding the smile. She had never thought herself so beautiful as everyone else seemed to think she was, and such comments always embarrased her somehow.
"So, this be your answer?," Daniel asked with what sounded to be genuine concern in his voice.
Normally she would be upset by anyone calling her 'theirs', but in this instance her mood was such that she answered instead with a bit of playfulness as he himself sat down again beside her, "Firstly, I must remind you, I am not your lady." Her smirk was obvious as she looked up at him.
Daniel smirked back, "Just so."
Melanna returned to more seriousness as she tried to consider again her own feelings churning insde, "But perhaps when I figure out just what I am that could change."
"What you are?," he asked as he looked her up and down with a curious expression, "Mine guess be the most stubborn swordswoman in Mistone.." With that he grinned mockingly and winked.
"I don't know. A confused and frustrated woman, for certain. Beyond that?," she shrugged, then sighed.
Daniel caught her sincerity and added for her, "But a woman none-the-less." He gently took her hand, the one still healing, into his own.
"Indeed," came Melanna's one-word answer to all. Indeed, it was like a companion among words that was always there for her when she called for it. It could answer, it could question, it could boldly state, or subtley alude. Indeed, it was a fine word. In this moment it agreed with a heartfelt consent, that Daniel was right, she was a woman, none-the-less.
Daniel asked next, "Our blood mingled.. Melanna, what does that mean to you?"
"By old traditions that is sign of a close bond, or a way to seal a pact," Melanna began to answer in almost lecturing tones, "The highest form of bond, really." She paused and sighed heavilly before going on to add, "Indeed. Such is even used in some wedding ceremonies. Or so I've been taught by the expensive tutors my parents afforded me with."
Daniel nodded, "And you know I follow the old code to the best of mine ability," he paused, "but I leave the terms to you. Sister or something more." His gaze settled upon her a moment before he commented, "Tis a beautiful dress."
Melanna replied, "Indeed. It seems this dress never fails to draw compliments when I wear it."
"Pray stop a moment and hear my words with this," Daniel began as with his free hand he touched her left breast for a moment before moving his finger to her forehead and adding, "Not this." His hand lingered for a moment more and them he used his finger to slide a forelock of rich red hair away from her temple as his hand returned to his lap.
Melanna sighed, emoting deepfelt feeling, "You truly think I do not hear my own heart?"
"I think that thy head roars louder at times, aye," Daniel answered.
A bit of ire rose within her and quickly subsided, "Hmph. My head is the only thing that makes sense of the chaos down there."
"Truly? I find that only a balance of both can lead to happiness," he spoke again. He continued to add with a sigh, " But by all rights I am naught but a fool."
"Honestly. Confusion, anger, love, fear... They all roar below, they and many more emotions I cannot name," she tried once more to explain herself.
"Pray tell me, which roars loudest to you, right now?" His gaze looked deep into her eyes and she could feel him truly searching her with his own eyes. She felt uncomfortable under that searching look, and would have gladly faced instead a dragon in it's place, she thought to herself.
She couldn't help but to look away as she answered his question, "Fear..." Her voice trailed off and she knew he'd want more to her answer.
Indeed he did press her, "Of?," he asked very softly.
There were too many questions Melnna had not answered yet herself about the deep-seated fears she held within, and tried so well to hide, "Of what I don't know well. Of feelings I've not felt before, nor seen shown toward me. Of many things."
Daniel's hand squeezed her own hand reassuringly. "Then time be the answer for both of us then," he stated as though this should solve everything for her, indeed for them both.
Melanna pondered it for a breath or two before she responded, "Perhaps." Another pause held her tongue at bay a moment more before she went on, "Though I fear too, not knowing what time I may have left to find the answer. Or perhaps I fear dying before I've found the answer."
Daniel pulled on her arm, leaning back a bit against the couch, and offering his shoulder to her to rest her head on. She didn't budge for that moment, but he spoke as he did so, "Just so, neither do I, but what time I do have..," his voice trailed off.
The door of the living room had opened and Omer strode in interupting their solitude. He looked at them together on the couch and smiled.
Melanna looked back at him from across the room, "Hello Omer."
Daniel also greeted him with a shrug, "Well met friend."
"Hello hello," he said as he moved further into the room to add some more wood to the fire burning within the fireplace. "Need anything?," he asked as he added the last log.
Daniel was quickest to respond, smirking and looking to Melanna, "Nay I think not."
She also answered Omer herself, "No, I don't think so. But thank you."
Omer turned to head for the door. "Ok.. I am headed to Hlint," he stated.
"Travel safely," Melanna called after him while Daniel nodded his farewell to Omer rather than speaking. Omer was quickly gone through the portal just outside the living room in the hallway.
Melanna commented after him to Daniel as the two remained once more the only occupants of the home for the moment, "Poor fellow, we've taken over his home."
"He is happy for you, Miss.. Think nothing of it," came Daniel's response to her comment. He then added, "And if I remember, it be your home as well as his."
Melanna smirked looking upon the closing door to the hall, "Only because he chooses to share it with me."
Daniel argued, "Not from what I recall. Did you not lend him considerable True for it?"
"Indeed. But he has long since repaid that debt. He could throw me out whenever he liked if he wanted," began to explain Melanna patiently.
Daniel interupted before she could finish, "and earn thy wrath.. He would be a bigger fool..than.. I." He said the last word with a grin.
Melanna went on to finish what she'd been about to say, "But he treats me like a sister, and let's me stay."
"Because he is not a fool at all," Daniel said to support his comments.
Melanna could only smirk, "I think he keeps me around just to annoy certain others."
Daniel grinned at that. "And has it been working?"
Melanna shrugged and followed the shrug with, "Perhaps," and a wry smile. "Of course it helps that I supply him with quite a bit of goods to practice his crafts with."
Daniel grinned further, "Aye, that would do it."
Becomming serious and remembering her own promise to Omer a bit late Melanna added, "Though, he doesn't wish that to be known, so no telling."
Daniel nodded, "Thy secret be safe with me."
"On our bond," Melanna pressed.
"Aye, I so swear it," agreed Daniel seriously.
Melanna nodded, and as she thought of the bond again she got an idea in her head. It made her chuckle mischievously at the thought of it.
Daniel rolled his eyes, "Oh bother." He knew if she chuckled as she did that it likely didn't bode well for someone, and in this case, likely not himself.
Melanna couldn't help it, she wanted to tease him a bit so she went ahead and posed what had come to her mind, "What would you do if I insisted the mingling of our blood to be binding to marriage?" She paused as she watched him for a reaction, "Would you squirm, perhaps?"
She could see him think hard before he answered her, taking the discussion back from levity into the serious realms, "Aye a bit."
With the seriousness once more invoked, Melanna voiced another thought that had been on her mind, she told herself she wouldn't care what the answer was really. "Do you truly still have your heart set on her, though she doens't return your caring?"
Daniel sighed so deeply it seemed to come from his toes, "Aye. I cannot help myself."
Melanna was wrong, she did care what the answer was she discovered. Damn her feelings for tricking her, but she had to ask further, "Yet you hope for me to love you the same as you love her?"
"Nay, I hope for you to love me as you will to relieve your doubts and pain ..," Daniel said next to answer her.
She felt hurt. She felt angry at him. To herself she fumed inside, "How noble of you to bear the burden of offering yourself to me so I can alieve my doubts and pain and you can enjoy the pleasure that brings you!" But she didn't say one word of those thoughts. She put them down in hopes of something more. She asked Daniel as gently as she could, "And what of your doubts and pain Daniel?"
He pondered her words a moment, "They would be diminished by thy company , but never will I truly love another."
In that answer, and in that moment something broke within Melanna. Perhaps it was her heart, but whatever it was shattered. Feelings rushed into the empty places, her self-doubt eager to assert itself. Her parents were right all along, she was not worth loving. She wanted to be angry at Daniel but she found she couldn't be, it wasn't his fault, it was her own for being what she was. What she'd been convinced of for so long, what she had almost escaped from being convinced of. What bottomless pit she fell back into in that moment. She frowned, and then emotion was pushed from her face. "Indeed. As I thought," her mouth voiced as she stood. A coldness flooded her reasoning and then her reason was gone. She strode out of the living room into the hallway, carried by dark emotion.
Daniel watched her go in that moment, but remained seated.
Trudging numbly down the hallway toward her room, Melanna began to sob. How could she have expected anything else? She wondered amid the flood of her emotions. She strode into her room, pushing open the door before her. Absently she slammed it with such force that Daniel, still seated in the living room, could hear the loud thundering followed by the more quiet tapping of bits of plaster cascading to the floor. It was then Daniel began to move.
Melanna roughly yanked off her dress and cast it aside. She grabbed her under-armor form her wardrobe and began pulling it on. As she cried and worked to dress herself in her armor she heard the doorknob of her room jiggled loudly from without. "Go away!," she shouted and continued to fasten on her armor plating over the under-suit she now wore. Silence answered her shout from without for a time until she was finished. She grabbed her adamantium greatsword off her weapons rack and then strode to the door, unlocking it and pushing it open.
Roughly she pushed past Daniel though he tried to stop her with his voice. "Hold..," he called to her, though she did not stop.
She walked heavilly, armor clanking loudly, as she headed for the exit from the home. He followed after, obviously concerned, but she moved too quickly.
"Melanna!," Daniel called to her again from behind as she neared the east gate of Fort Llast.
Anger, annoyance, maybe hate too filled her voice as she answered without pause, "What?"
"I did not lie to you," she heard Daniel say as she went onward past the gate, his voice barely catching her ears.
She didn't know if he heard her or not, but she responded, "I know, I wouldn't expect you too." Her own thoughts were only that his truth of not being able to love her meant that she was not worth loving. She trudged up and over the hill as she kept to the road a bit further. Her mind raged. She would make herself worth something if she couldn't be worth loving, she reasoned unreasonably to herself within her own mind. She followed a path leading off the road into the foothills of the Grey Peaks, towards the ancient crypt that had been built there long ago.
Undead sought to bar her way and sprang up to the defense of their master's lair. One after another they fell beneath her greatsword as it flashed in the dim light of near evening. First one zombie lord, then a skeletal warrior, then what many know as risen remains, and two more zombie lords followed by another risen remains. The greatsword with it's weight, while better suited against flesh still smashed through bone effectively enough. None of her foes had so much as touched her yet.
She strode confidently into the crypt itself after throwing open the barred gate that served to seal the entry. The halls were dimly lit, and empty feeling, but she knew better. Undead dwelt herein. Some were terrible creatures known as bodaks, others were shades of skeletons, or even mummies. She marched onward undaunted, though if her common sense had been there to guide her she'd have turned to leave before even considering going into the place alone.
She turned around a corner and entered the first large chamber. The undead rose up to swarm upon her. Shadow Fiends took the front and danced before her blade as it sought to cleave them. And further to the back a bodak took notice and began to turn it's gaze of death upon her. In the heat of the battle she felt her own eyes drawn to that gaze and she stared it down once with her anger. The bodak was not to be easily ignored and it increased it's effort to stare death upon her, and again she met it's gaze and poured her anger forth so powerfully that the bodak's gaze had no effect upon her. Her attention returned long enough to one of the shadow fiends before her and she caught it with a solid blow that sundered it from itself and the thing fell to the floor in two pieces before fading into dust.
She felt her eyes pulled up once more by the bodak's gaze and this time her will faltered. Something within her gave way and she felt her soul crushed, her life ended. She saw herself drift upward from her own body as it fell to the floor in a crumpled heap. The tugging from behind herself familiar, but more powerful than the nine times previous. The Soul Mother pulled free the last strand binding her to her body and her spirit was pulled away to darkness.