The World of Layonara
Character Development => Development Journals and Discussion => Topic started by: Blackguy on September 26, 2006, 03:11:28 AM
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* Lin’da sits down in her house in the Haft Lake District and begins to unfold a lot of thoughts *
I don’t really know where to start since I’ve never been much of a writer, but more of a doer. But I feel the need to get my thoughts down since the latest events have started to effect me.
From the very first time I learned the troublesome spells of necromancy, I’ve always yearned for power. Having no master to guide me, I’ve been quite alone on this whole magic teaching, and many hard lonely hours studying the arcane arts. It didn’t take long from my early attempts at evocation, to see the potential power in necromancy, and I liked it. I’d like to stress to myself that im not a evil person, and I thought the goal would justify the means. Atleast I did at that time. Those I called my friends saw this change in me, and some turned their back, and some didn’t say anything. I know that even thou they didn't say anything, they probably shun me because of that choice.
It all started with my friend at that time, the dwarf Kobal, made it clear that he did not condone such spells, in his vicinity nor at all. I didn’t listen to him, as I didn’t take him serious and thought that his knowlegde of weave wouldn’t make him able to make such a choice for me. How I was wrong. It quickly spread around that I used the darkarts, and I was terrified at times how it effected the view on me. Like I said some people decided not to travel or atleast acknowlegde my friendship anymore, while my powers drew outer people out in the opening. I thought my path was just, and I enjoyed my powers at the time, and was very selfish and couldn’t care less about others opions.
That all changed when I was asked by Lia to help her in matter she couldn’t reveal. I had heard rumors of her being bound to a pact, which i later learned was the Black Wizards, and as the friend to her, I couldn’t refuse her plee. Oh how I was wrong to even try and help her. I didn’t see the full effect of my wrongings before I found out that Lia wanted to trick both the friends she knew and the Black Wizards. I left her, and the party there and then in the hallways to the Abyssal realm, and I swore to never take up the darkarts again. 6 days later I promised to resque the persons that was left in underdark after Lia had left them there, Mith was as guilty as her, and I was wrong to ever give that man my trust. When we went to the secret entrance for the underdark, we found Lia’s rotting corpse, and it was as I had seen my own face on her there. I knew that if I didn’t pull myself toghetere it would be my own neck sliced and my body left rottting. Althou my justification for using these powers at the time was good, I know now, that I was seduced by the raw untamed powers. They seemed harmless, but in retrospect I was not incontrol over then. They were in control over me. In the middle of Hlint, I tore my necromaticspells from my spellbook, and burned them infront of Jacchris eyes. I knew that the power must never tempt me, and I will not give it a chance to ever do it again.
Distancing myself from those powers left me more clear in my head, and I could begin to see what an impact I had made on those people that before saw me as friend, maybee abit hotheaded, but still a friend. I had burned so many brigdes that I almost at the time gave up hope to ever regain what I had before. I decide to wrong what I had done before, slaying the undead whereever I went, and shunning my distates for the spellls I had used before. But people don’t forget so easily, and I turned to those of a different faith to guide me in this matter. I asked Quantum to let me help him, destroying the undead that he investigated. He took solice in my plee, and could see my good intentions and let me be part of that team. It was a small step for a long road ahead of me. But I still need clear guindance. My church does not help me, as they see necromancy as part of the weave. I need help from an other source, and I need to find it, while I can still find my way back from this darkpit that im in.
I hope as Acting Shining Hand that Quantum can shine some light upoin this. Also I know that I must talk to Yardislan about this matter, as he would perhaps know what to do. I don't feel my faith is there for me, and it’s like im drifting away from it. Lucinda can’t help me, and she didn’t guide me when I needed her. Perhaps I need to talk to Kobal, I know he would not trust me, but perhaps he will tell me where to find redemtion or perhaps penalty to wrong my doings. Theres a lot of wrongs to right, and I may not be able to ever right it. But I need to try, I need to believe that a person can change, otherwise I might aswell kill myself.
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* Lin’da sits down and makes note in her new journal *
Lately thoughs of Aeridin have entered my head. I keep thinking of how I remember Athus, Allei, and Rawkwin being healers and helping people. They never have seen to have a badbone in their bodies. But my quest for power undershadowed the need to help others, atleast that’s what I thought. Althou inside I was perhaps jaelous of their ways and their beliefs, but I never payed any attention at it. But now I can’t get it out of my head. It’s as if im being drawn to help people.
I have to admit, Ive always tried to help people where ever I go, always doing good deeds to cancel out the bad I did. The defense of the Oak is perhaps what im most proud off, and I can see the need to help people. But it’s the way is done, and how I use the weave that matters.
That’s why it was a joy to see Elladan on the street today. I’ve not seen him for quite a long time, and I consider him a friend to me. But I was abit worried that he had heard the rumors about me, and would say something horrible. I knew I could not keep silence about this feeling I had inside of me, and I had to confront him to ask of the church, despite the reaction from him. To my relief, he started to listen and spoke to me as it was natually all the things ive done. He mentioned being mortal and all mortals make mistakes. Afterall were not gods. And even they make them. So he said not to be so hard on myself. I asked about the church, and he mentioned that rebirth was one of the pillars in Aeridinite beliefs. He believed a person could change, given the time, and the good intentions it wished to express. It gave me hope to hear that from him, as I was dreadfully worried for that he would perhaps call a guard on me.
* She chuckles abit when she writes it, and seems to laugh at the thought about Elladan calling a guard *
Well at that time I was worried, but it was unfound, since he showed me much compassion like no other person has given to me in a long time. He gave me a hope that in time I could forgive myself for doing what I did, and find the path to spiritual and physical redemption. At that point I was quite convince that the Aeridnite church could benefit me, and I in return could benefit it, by repaying and helping people with my powers, instead of using them for things I do not want to speak of anymore. I asked Elladan if he would help me with the guidance and the admitance to the church, and he replied that he would gladly vouch for me, and gave me this advice. Try to feel the lifeforce around yourself. The life is part of what you are. With those words we parted and I agreed to contact him when I needed him. I now need to talk to other people about this. But atleast there is hope at the end of the corridor. It may be narrow, tight, and filled with spikes, but atleast im not locked up. My mind is opened now, and I feel the ..
* lin’da lays down her pen for a moment and closes her eyes *
… feel the.
* She crosses the last words out and begins to write again *
I don’t know what I feel, but I know that im on my way.
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* Linda sits in the city of Warick, while others are around investigating the city *
This place gives me the creeps. Decease have broken out, and were here to look into it. I feel this is a test for me to show that I can change. I’ve seen the mages in our group feeling a negative energy in the city. I fear to feel for this, as I might have a relapse to my old ways. I hope noone expects me to feel for this.
On the good note, I had a chance to further my conversations. This time I spoke to Yardislan. I told him about my decision to leave the church, and it looked as if it took him by surprise. I told him what I was doing, and about my conversation with Elladan. He said he would help me in any path that I needed to take to come to terms with this. I was glad to talk to Yard about this; his morale consience will help me make the right choices. But I can’t rely on him making them for me, but only to guide me along. But I have to say im more surprised by people will to help me in doing this. It seems the hardest enemy I have for this at the moment is myself.
I asked him about his knowlegde of necromatic spells, and I asked for advice in that regard. He said that the spells in my book must be there, to help me learn from my mistakes. But he don’t know that Ive already taken them out, and burned them. Maybee he meant that I can’t take them out of my head, my memory. That they will always be a part of me, but as a reminder to never thread the path of darkness again. Its very confusing, but I feel I can trust in Yard enough to trust his word. I need to remember that it is I that owe these people everything, and they owe me nothing.
It’s strange to be the pupil again. But in a way im kinda glad that it could be Yard that can teach me abit more about ethics and morale. And with that I mean using the weave in a ethic way. I’m confident that the path is layed out for me, and im becoming more sure of my choice for each passing day.
* She looks ahead for the others *
Hmm they are entering the fishermans house again; I better go have a chat with Daeron over there.
* she leaves the campfire and walks to Daeron to sit and chat *
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* Lin’da sits inside a round table at Jacchri’s house in Vale. Beside her sits Ael *
I’ve becoming to see Ael more as a friend lately, and a close one. So I decided to ask him of something I’ve wanted to do for a while. Ive always found it facsinating when he and Sahala talked among themselves, shielding their conversation from others. Sinec Drow is such an uncommon language on the surface I see it as ideal to learn. Ael luckily agreed to tutor me, and it was not long before he started to explain the basics of the language.
It seems that some words in both elven and drow go again. I kinda already guess that, as they at one point probably originated from the same basic language. Words like hello and love are the same. This means I will be able to learn drow much faster simply because I know Elven. There is still the little problem of pronouncing the words correctly, without making it sound like elven. But Ael is a patient tutor and he takes good time to make me say the words deep and long, as drow is meant to be said. Im sure with my smarts and his abillty to learn from him, I’ll soon be speaking this hidden language. Ive made a lot of notes, and I just need to pratice them a lot. When I meet Ael, I can learn more, and since we travel alot toghetere lately, we can make such seesion frequently, increasing my abillty to learn the language.
It seems as if the others are planning something abuot that whole Etriabens deal, I better listen to them, and make sure we are not betrayed again. But I partly blame myself for that. It seems I trust people to much. This is the second time in short time I’ve been betrayed. I need to stand up more to others and not let my good intentions be abused.
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* Lin’da sit on the benches infront of the Orc Basher’ old shop, and writes a new entry into her journal *
I was able to run past Jacchri, and I remembered that I needed to talk with him. He was on his way to Morakens, but he had no problem finding time to talk to me. Just that reminded me that he saw me as a friend. I asked him if we could find a more quite place, and he suggested the lake. Besides a few birds, which Jacchri quickly camled, there was nothing there to interrupt us.
I began telling him, like I’ve done with all the others, how the last couple of months have been for me. I told him about the situation with Lia, my own path into the darkness, and how Ive seen the errors of my past. I told him about my decision to leave Lucinda, and offer my body and soul to Aeridin instead. All while I told this, he had a calm expression on his face, as if he already knew what I was going to tell. It was a very reasuring expression, and it gave me courage to continue my tale, from start to end, without any delay. I told him that I was going around to different people telling, or perhaps explaining is a better word, all the wrong things ive done, and perhaps give them a understanding to why I did them. He reminded me, as Elladan before, that Ive always done good things, and if faced with good or evil, he had always seen me choose good. I in return told him the means doesn’t justify the end. He knew that aswell, but if I really didn’t care about the means then why would I be here talkig to him. I smiled abit at that, and he was absolutely right. Its almost as it becomes easier for me to talk with all these people, ever since the first one.
He also said that he would gladly give his forgiveness to me, and he said that if I needed someone to vouch for me, he would do it himself. I was very honored and happy to hear that, and I knew that Jacchri telling the truth to me there. I said I just hoped that others would grant me this forgiveness, and or atleast they would in little understand my choices at that time. He said that these talks I’ve been having with people were doing me good. If a person after all this, still not forgive me, then it’s not because you havnt tried, and then atleast your own slate it clean. I hope Jacchri is right in that, I truly do. We parted ways as newfound friends, or perhaps we never got seperated, in either case my heart feels less burdend, and I look forward to talking to the next person on the list. I feel Aeridin is already helping me in this, and I hope it will last alittle bit longer.
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* Lin’da sits on the bench in Hlint and makes a note in her journal *
So many people to talk to, so many people to mend my peace with. I feel like all I’m doing is telling everyone how sorry I was for my recklessness back in my old path. I must remember to sound sincere each time, so the last person doesn’t get the impression that im not true about this. But true I am. Ive not been so exited about something in a long time, each day that passes fills me with hope that I can finnaly throw the shackles from my past away, and be rid of its shadow forever.
My teaching with Ael is coming along nicely, most of the words we have already discussed, and the grammar is very similar to Elven, so that only leave how to pronouce most of the words to they sound drow. I have to admit that I didn’t thnk I would learn Drow this fast, but Ael is wonderfull teacher, and he works hard to iron out the kinks in my speech.
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* Lin'da sits on the bench in Hlint and scribbles some notes down *
Last night I was on a journey to Underdark with a bunch of friends, and it all went very well. But at one point we reaches a critical point, which I know is very diffucult to get through. I know from experience that these creatures are very weak to a certain necromantic spell Horrid Wiltering, and I find myself getting ready to prepare those spells to deal with them. But just as I shall rest, I make a change of heart, and realize what im doing. I change all the spells back to evocation spells again, and find myself thinking how close i was to falling into that darkpath again. But on the other hand, I find myself strong, as i could resist the temptation to use that kinda spells. I felt it as a test against me, and I succede. Im very confident in my powers now as a Evocationist, and there is nothing I can't do with those spells, that I could do with Necromancy.
On a side note I feel very lucky to have such good friends, most of them, if not al have supported me in my choice for leaving Lucinda, and choosing to follow Aeridins teachings. I might not be the most obvious candidate. A evocationist following the words of Aeridin. But I may not presicely follow her teachings, but more hold her as an ideal as for the good in people that lies within every single one of us.
And the other night Ael finished his teachings, Im quite surprised how fast I could learn his native tongue, and I know that this language will help me alot in the near future. Hes becoming a very good friend, alongside Sahala which I have begon to see in a diffrent light. She is very strong and independant. Also she is a great spellcaster, and we enjoy exchanging ideas on the battlefield. I wonder where this will lead, but the future is not as black as it used to be.
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* Lin'da sit quietly in her house at Haft Lake, to reflect the past few months *
Oh my, what a trip last night. travelling with such a experienced group into the underdark was just a treat, and a soarly needed one. I miss the teamwork shared among races and classes alike, and this surely made me believe it in it again. Of course it didnt go off without a hitch, it seemed Varka decided to tell his side of the story of what happent in that cave in the berhagens to Kobal, which led to a passionated argument between Kobal and Ael. Ael's wit and cool, led to this being dealt with. Kobal decided that Ael's amendment under the eye of His Lord Roferein would suffice for Kobal.
Regarding Ael, he have seen me progress to well in Drow, that he have decided to give me scrolls of text to translate, so I can get the written skills down aswell. I find these very challeging, and I have almost succeded in translating the first scroll that Ael gave me.
But I admit its been hard, being torn between my new friendship with Ael, and the conflict between him and the dwarven of these lands. I have gone through alot of changes, taken tests after test to prove myself worthy by actions to gain the trust of these dwarven again. And now I find myself split in the middle again, as this conflict choose me to take sides. Im glad that we last night was able to solve our diffrences so I didnt have to make that choice. I just hope that Varka will listen to Kobal in this matter, so that Ael's presence will not cause a conflict when travelling with Varka.
A more disburbing thing have crossed me. It seems that Daeron is beginning to pratice the darkarts himself. Atleast he says he are. Ive yet to see him actually cast a Wail of Banshee, but the way he talks about it, I have no doubt in my mind that he have indeed cast it, and finds its powers to his liking. He says that its only to save his friends, and that given cthe choice, he would rather cast that spell, than to see his friends die. But that reason is just to easy. I promised not to talk to anyone about ths, but I decided to share my concern with someone I could trust, one who knows Daeron more than me. This person was Yard. Yard said that it probably was just a fluke, and that Daeron is a human, so it will probably pass quickly. I hope dearly he is right in this, but I fear that it is more. Daeron expressed his lack of power using the weave. He talked about being degraded to casting the bigby spells, and the various missle spells. I can see where he is coming from, but those spells, with others, make a very suitable defense, and a very powerfull offense when used correctly. It took myself some time aswell to learn how not to implement darkarts spells into my tactics, but I have to admit I wouldnt cast that spell again if it could save my life. I fear for Daeron, and the troubles ahead of him. But it is his choice, and I can only give what little guideance to him, so I hope he finds the right way back.
These last couple of weeks I have been more tired than normally. I wake up, totally exhausted. I found a note in my robes with a word written upon. Farva. Im not sure what that means. But I fear that something, or someone is perhaps stalking me. Perhaps this person. For now I have not payed it much attention, but if this continues, I may have to do some investigation.
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This morning I got a letter from Ael that he said would not teach me drow anymore. It came from right out of the blue. What did I do wrong, was i wrong to trust him. I always defended him during my travels, even when it was against others among me that I called friends. I find it so frustrating. Did I say something wrong that night at the mosscrypt, were I provokative against him, like I was with Angela. It feels as if he just stabbed me in the back, and its hurts. Not so much because he left, but I really saw him as a friend, he didnt even say a word.
The trip itself in the mosscrypt turned out to be quite diffrent than we expected. We had cleansed the crypts and halls of the undead presense, and procedeed to clear the rest of the cave with the intent of bringing light to this dark place. After a minor setback in the caverns we decided to head out as fast as we could. It was there that we saw smoke when we approached Hurm. It seemed the dragons of the swamp had decided to attack Hurm. It had spread a dark plague amongst the people, and the city itself was burned half to the ground. It seems the dragons used our entrance to its lair to cunningly create chaos with us to blame. The funny thing is that none of us in the party didnt as much as see a shadow of the dragon in that place, yet alone see the dragon. It seems the dragons are on the move and they will stop at nothing to regain the power they lost.
On the good side Ally is back and we had a rather pleasant talk her, me Angela and Ralinda at Ralinda's tower. I think I got a little drunk, but i had a good time, I think. I cant really remember what happent there. Ally promised to continue the lessons in drow to me, started by Ael, and even thou she said she is not a good teacher, Im not a inexperienced student, and Im quite capable of speaking drow, I just need the finishing touches, which i am sure she can help me with.
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Finnaly, we found the cure. It have taken a long time, and its been hard to not "really" know the fate of those inside. I was lucky enough to help the temple in North Point with the important mission, and I feel as I have contributed as I should. I spend 200,000 for part of a cure, and I was kinda glad that my money could be used for something.
Ally seems to be back in full vigor, and just before we departed for Arboera we sat down and had a talk about dialect in the diffrent cites. I asked her to take a look at some of the scrols I got from Ael, when he was still teaching me. I can understand drow, and I can speak it. But I still need to fine polish my dialect, and know when to apply it where and how. Not that I would fool anyone that I would be drow, but who knows if i was behind a locked door and needed that dark language.
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The last leg of the journey. The scrolls Ael gage me, are now translated, and I find myself eager to pratice my newfound language. I have not had a real chance to pratice it upon a drow out of Hlint, but I know the opportunity will come. Ally was kind enough to help me polish off my dialect, althou I still need to fine tune some variations of the language from drowcity to drowcity. Im abit sad that Ael wasnt here to finish what he started, but im sure he had his reasons. I didnt like him being a hunted person among every one of my friends. It was starting to become very ugly.
The plague that before washed over Hurm is now over. Plenarious asked me to join him on a scouting mission to arborea, with Quill, Connor, Lala and Daeron, and it was our luck that we did. Maurelle needed a few days to gather the right herb, and it would have set us back a few days if not we had been there earlier. When we arrived a few days later, maurelle had the plant ready and we could all leave to help the temple in North Point. The plant got there, and the cure got spread. There was some involvement with Broegar and the pranzis army, but i kept my head cold for a change, and it didnt evolve to anything bloody.
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The last few month have given me no real thing to write about. There have been the usually skirmishes and travelling around in the world, but I find myself lacking the motivation for persistent going. Perhaps I need to realizes that for the first time in my life my powers are beginning to work against me.
It seems thateverything else in the world can be handled with lesser powers than what I can offer. And indeed my powers are unmatched by any wizard that I know off. But for what purpose? I wonder if I should see adiffrent way in gaining progress. Im not sure. I dont think I could be good at anything else than studying and learning more spells. But lately the only spells I do not wish to learn are those of necromantic powers, and they are beginning to be the only ones left for me to practice. I dont want to come to a point where I need learn something of necromatic use to progress.
Perhaps I should already be looking for something else to tinker and spend time with. But what? Well I know for a fact that its not gonna be something involving faith, as Im not the biggest patrion. I was never a person to like the nature aswell, atleast not to where I would spend my time in it.Nor was I someone who faught with swords and weapons. The only thing remotely I can think off was perhaps to edequate myself better with the skills I already have, in some manner. Ive always been fashinated by the lockpicking and trapdisarming of rogues. I have taught myself alot of these skills by my own, but perhaps I should look for someone to help me understand the last journey of this secret art. Besides theres is no real challenge in the locks and traps I pratice myself with. You can only open and lokc the door in storans so many times before you know the lock to itssmallest detail.
I know that Angela have some skills to hit harder, but whether she knows those skills I seek, I do not. I have to ask her when I meet her the next time. Lala is also a person I could talk to if I could find her, I know she is very, if not extremely gifted with sneaking, so so knows a thing or two.
But all of this would need to wait abit, I still have a few more things I need to pratice finished with my magic, and therefore I cannot give myself into a new training. I could not justify a new training unless I give myself 100%.
As to diffrent matters are my relations with the people I surround myself with. I learned that Jacchri had his mother slain by a vampire. And immediately after I came to him and spoke to him about what I had heard was true. He confirmed the tragic story, and asked me some questions about the forsakens isles. I was under the impression that I was a close friend to Jacchri, and offered my assistance to him should he need it. But he never asked for it, maybee he already had enough people helping, or perhaps I was not the friend I thought I was.
But on the the good things is the bumble have returned. I have not seen him in person yet, but he have written me several letters, and the constant flux of Dragon's Whisper have begun to fly in again. Also the house seems to be full of activity on his side again, and I have to admit that I missed his compagny.
Lala also invited me along for a trip into the underdark. I was abit surprised as I have not spoke to her directly, or alone, but Its not the first time I have travelled with this capable woman, this veil, as I hear other refer to her as. I hope that I can have a diaglouge with her at one point in the near future. As to the trip, I fell ill mere hours before the departure, so I had to cancel, but im sure more ocasions will rise for me to join.
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It seems I have overlooked a certain person in which to help me in my path toward a more fullfiling life. I ran into Bumble while I was in my house, he was going through some papers and we had a talk about what I had experienced from the last time we saw each other.
I was able to give him some trinkets, to aid him better when he wants to remain unseen. I think that he wanted to pay for them, but I told him I had other plans with him regarding payment.
We sat in his quiet interview corner, and talked about how I had come to terms with my limitations regarding the magics that I normally pratice. I sat there explaning my reasons for how it had come, and I was sure that he understood how I felt. I asked him if he was able to give me some pointers to how I could expand that skillset that he pratices himself so well.
He was a bit reluctant at first, but after a while he decided that would help me with what I would need. I dont expect this to be easy , and for it to be timeconsuming, but I know that this is the way for me. There is alot to learn about weakness of foes, about how to jump from the very same magic that I cast, and how to pick and open doors, and disarm traps. I told him I had no interested inbecoming a sneaky person, so he could leave out al the training regarding moving silently and hiding from foes.
In the middle of the conversation he said he had to be leaving soon, as he had a gravestone to recover up inside the frindahl fortress. Apparrently he had gone there with Ranewin, Boon, Gold, and Tegan. I told him why he would go with such a person like Tegan. He asked me why. I explained to him that she was nothing more than a second rank trickster without any serious understanding of magic. To venture inthere with that group was the same as to slit one owns throat. But he asked if i could come with him so he could teach me some tricks with the locks and traps inthere.
So we did precisely that. After entering the last room, where the orcs was held up, bumble taught me how to look for the real trap, the trap that aint obvious. I kinda knew alot of this already, but my skills will only let me pratice them to a certain degree. So im glad he could give me a hand. I swiftly dealed with the orcs insde, showing Bumble how to deal with a massed force, and setting up an ambush. I played perhaps abit to much around, but It made him see that if done properly all you need is a wizard.
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Another decade have past, and another countless hours have been spent infront of the desk reading books, about spells, and I kne wi was running low on spells to pratice, but I didnt know I was this close. It seems my wish to finish as wizard in my late days are not gonna hold true. That reminds me, ive been praticing my lockingpicking alot more, and It seems to go alot better now. for some reason I also seem to dogde blows more easily. I guess all this psysical training have done me good. Im not a musclepack by far, but Im training other mucsles than my brain, and for that im happy.
I was with a group of friends into the Stormhorns not 2 weeks ago, and I cannot express how great it was not to be obligated to cast enhancements and magic on my comrades. Not that they didnt need it, but I decided to step to the front and finnaly use some of all that knowlegde from watching of people fighting. I hit pretty hard if i have to say it myself, but not hard enough. As i said I will never be strong enough to actually hurt anything on pair with the people I watch. While some look to strenght for a wellround fighters, I look to the subtle and gracefull things. People who have to use their wits to survice in a battle. People like Angela. Her combat prowness is a joy to behold, and I someday wish I could be good enough to actually fight by her side, on equal terms. that might not happen, but The other week gavce me hope, and inspiration to proceeed with this training and dedicate myself to the art of fighting.
I have decided I divulge myself to the studies of magic for one season more, that is one decade, and then I will spend fulltime on practicing more graceful oriented combat. I simply wont let me fall back to the dark pit with necromancy I was in, therefore I have to leave what I have done my entire life. Its not an easy choice, but I think that it will be the best for me in the long rung. I have to think more ahead than the next 50-70 years unlike humans, who rarely go above that age in these harsh time.
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When your down, your down.
This seems to fit very good for me. My magic is at its epithome of power, yet I dont feel that I am worthy for it. All this magic, for what? More adventuring? More Killing and destruction. Is that all that lies behind magic? I wish I knew. I have had many arguments with Storold and now lately Tristan about the use of necromantic magic. I feel that it is the magic that corrupts, but Storold and Tristan have tirelessly tried to convince me otherwise. All this have jittered my mind, so much that I feel I need to get answers.
I have decided to venture forward to Spellgard and seek out the answers that perhaps can answer what it is I should do. I know in my heart that noone could decide for me, but yet I still lost on this path. Its very frustrating.
The last month or so I have been patrolling the Island of Bastil to make suret that the forces that I found there are not advancing anywhere. I am beginning to like this cold, silent land. Althou it tried to kill me on my first visit. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Im almost used to sneaking around the guard perimeter of White Gate, and Snowfall Mound, making sure my footprints are confusing, and that I avoid the largest concentration of giants.
Things are also happening with the book. The book that might contain the salvation for Layonara, salvation from the dragon threat. To be able to create a portal, one that is equal in power to that of the one that Sinthar himself used, is a feat that I am glad to be a part of. But I still have my reserves for these lumbral, but Jacchri have assured that they are trustworthy, and I trust him well enough to know when hes right or not.
I have also started my membership in the Ravens Guild. It seemed like a naturally decision for me, depite it took so long for me to join them. All those that I care for, and call friends are there. Alantha, Angela, Jacchri, Storold, and Dorena. Those are that matter to me in this world. I am glad to be able to help them with their duties. Taking up enchanting was a good decision, and I know the good feeling after a long hard days of work now. I can honestly say that it feels good.
My path in life seem revolved around the greater aspect on Layonara, all the acomplisments I have done, yet not a single one was for myself. Am I to loyal to request anything for myself? I wish that I had more power, im not ashamed to admit that. But then again, I also know that power comes with a price. The signs are clear, im going toward a thing that I cannot explain yet, but in time I perhaps can. I just hope that I will be alive when it happens, and that I have my friends with me.
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* Lin'da sits down in her houses and tips her pen in ink and writes another note in her journal *
Ive been away from a long time, almost ten years on that remote island. Bastil was a welcome change and a much needed one after to many hectic times. I decided to return when I felt I was ready for it, and this is the time.
I was glad to come back, and see all my friends still there, alive and well, althou somethings had changed. Jacchri was the same, always jolly and taking one serious.
Angela and Alantha, oh those two girls are closer than ever, and have grown much in power and respect since I last saw them. Angela now a figure in politics in Lor, and Ally finnaly rid of her troubledpast. I envy them a little to have made such acomplisments, but I always find solace in that they are my friends, and I wish them well.
Good old dependable Storold, still waiting on benches guiding newfolks around, and trying to act tough. But hes a softy on the inside, even thou he'll never admit it, or maybee he would. But we tease him alot these days, I hope he can take it, but it doesnt seem to bother him as much as it noce did.
And Allei now a mother to a girl, with no husband in sight. I sometimes wonder what Tristan thought off when he ran away. Or is he really stationed like Allei tells us, I guess only she knows.
Fenrir also seem to get along well, and hes become a wall in itself now. He seems abit I dont know, I cant quite put my finger on it, but he seems abit sad, maybee its nothing, but its good to have him along on training days.
My first days back were a mess, but I settled in quicker than I had thougt. It was not long after that I met up with a group in stormcrest that had a mission to escort a small child to someone up in the stormhorn mountains. I of course accepted to help and was welcomed among a bunch of misfits, dwarfs, lawmen and mystic mages. The child is a diffrent story all and all, she only spoke elven, she scared livestock and had a impenetrable aura of illusion magic around her, that even a Morakens Disjunction could not penetrate. I grew worried and voiced my concern, but only a few was willing to hear of it, and then initial group taske with the mission hushed it down and made us continue. After a night in High Fort we continued into the mountains where we were ambushed by a high and might draconlike creature that I had never encountered before. It struck down half our group and myself, before it cried out for us to summon the child. Clearly it had be informed about our precious cargo. Myself and a few others tried to hold it back while someother carried the child to safety and to its owner. Althou futile and we died, we managed to keep it away and confused to loose the track of the child. It was later told to me that Fisty was the recipient of the child, and the child was a young dragon.
All this peeked my interest and I started asking my friends for rumours and stories surrounding these beast and the dragons. Jacchri in end told me of the dragonhunters as they are called. Human in start poisoned to be superdraconic, with goals as simple as killing dragons and serving those that poisoned them. There was loose rumours about The black Wizards standing behind this, Corath cultists and more of that nature. Jacchri also spoke to me about a city, on Belinara, with the name of Phal where nobles had to flee to escape death. In end a group of adventures managed to prevent the assasination of these nobles and in return the told them of the state of Phal, and why the fled.
A investigation group was formed sometime after to learn more of this city. Under diffrrent disguises we entered the city and tried probing around to learn more of the citizens and their leader. After some days or two in the city we learned of a event with a Dragon. Abit sceptic we all marched to the place where this event would unfold and to our eyes a full size copper dragon flew down from the sky. It was clear to see it had been poisoned and corrupted. After a small sceance where I had the oppertunity to collect some of its saliva we decided to leave town. We had not travelled very far before we were abrubtly ambushed by some sneaky people, most likely from the city of Phal. Apparently we were deemed a threat to the safety of this city, and had to be eliminated. I fell to a couple of rogues stabbing me to death, but was later resurrected by Allei, who with Ally and Angy had survived the battled. They managed to capture one of the attackers which we brough with us for interragation.
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I attended Master Brac'ars Lecture the other night in Morakens Tower near Hlint. There was quite a few people, many old aquintances and some new. It started abit late, but once Brac'ar started talking it was a fascinating story he had to tell. A tale of dragons and magic, and of making the best out of your own destiny.
The most interesting thing for me that night, was the development of a Spell that Brac'ar called Brac'ars Fascinating Missle Storm. A rather ordinary misslestorm but with the potential to release elemental magic at your foe. And its fascinating display of colours used caused opponents to be amazed and stand still. This must have been a breakthrough of legendary proportions so I was glad I had a chance to purpose a scribed scroll from Brac'ar hand himself.
I cant wait to try it out, and find out its possibillties. This is what I love about being a wizardress, the exploring and pratical uses for spells. And to make it even better, its a evocation spell, the very school that I have specialized my focus on. I must say, were going into exiting times when a fellow collegue can produce such a spell.
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The other night I was sitting in Hempstead and Allei suddenly decided to kidnap both me and Sall. Well kidnap is perhaps a strong word, but she dragged us with her to force her to start helping making her house in Stort. I try to be helpfull I really do, I just hate thought of all those things we need to gather her, but I guess that it will make her happy, and she seemed quite exited about it.
After we had gathered some iron and mahogny, I went to Hlim with some friends to watch Jacchri deliver the bowl of nature, the very same bowl that I was there to help with finding in the first place. It was only fitting that I could help finish the circle.
We travelled up through the great forest, and I rememberd the sounds and smells from past times there. I had my Oaks Heart medallion out and my treant branch polished when we approached the Great oak. Some of the elves there even recognized me, from back we I defended the oak, it was very gratifying to be remembered, and I felt proud in that moment of what I did for all of Layonara, and the druids.
Inside there was a request from Barion that the druids could perhaps use the bowl to give back the abillty to halfmixed races to have children. Allei defended Aeridins doing and spoke very maturely about it all, and said that sometimes few must suffer so that many may live. I think in some ways shes hiding her intelligence behind all that childslike manner she normally carries with her. But it made me sad to see how Sala acted when Allei spoke of this. She started to curse Allei and hopes that she would never see grandchildren. I felt really sad to see a lucindite act like that, and one of her church aswell, a cleric. Althou it was hushed down, it didnt give her any right to speak like that. You can care enough for a friend to know that hes not the only person in the world that suffers from this thing. But Sala only emphasized on how Barion was handling all this. I feel bad for Barion, I do, but I also feel bad for everyone. But i would have felt more worse had the Avatar of Corath succeded in its plans. I guess this is a sensible subject and I try to avoid them as much as I can.
As to brigther news, I finnaly got a chance after ALOT of work, to try out Brac'ar spell. I have to say its impressive, but it gonna take alot of effort and sleepness nights to really use it well, and not to mention use it at the right time. I got enough time to learn, and while I do, I dream of the spells that Ally learned, with those spellls in my arsenal I strive to be the best Evoker on Layonara. Im not far off, but also I'm not even close. I need to foucs more on using and utillizing the possibillies that evocation gives me.
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Hmm not sure where to start on this one, very mysterious occurance. It all started when a gathering of people met in Audira. Some Rofi Initiates were there to investigate a rumour about ships being attacked off the coast, following the normal trade routes.
It didnt take long for the Rofi's with us, to trumph the initiates and persuade them to let us sail instead of them, since they seem very young and inexperienced. So it went as it went, we used the ships chartered by the initiates and sailed out. It wasnt long before we were attacked, and our ship in the midst of battle sunk. We managed to sail and swim ourselves to the nearby merchant vessels who had not suffered from the attack. There we were boardered by Pirates once more, and a fierce battle errupted with us as the winners. The remaining ships fled before we had a chance to react, and the heavy merchant vessels had no chance to catch up to it. We decided to sail back to Audiria and decide our next move.
A few weeks later, we came back, to find the Navy there trying to please the frantic and ruined merchants who had continued to loose ships and wares. In the middle of the crowd it was decided to try and set sail again and with a disguised navyvessel trying to have a pirateattack set opun us. After some heavy debate for and against, we manage to set sail into open ocean, and we dicussed the possibillity about capturing a captain. I said that if the frontfigthers could buy me time to target a pirate I coud try and dominate him. We agreed to that, hoping that I could do it fast enough to make it safe.
A couple of uneventfull days passed, and yet some others, until suddenly I heard noise from the topdeck, men were shouting and I could hear Jacchri yell that two vessels were approching. What the transpired is a act of pure determination and grit. First one ship clashed against ours, and perhaps 20 pirates boarded at once, we managed to repel them all. Soon more joined the fray, and fierce battle errupted all around, from all sides. With luck and a few wellplaced spells we manage to repell all attacks and just in time prepare for the second ship who had closed in. Again we defeated wave after wave of pirates. I in the flurry of battle managed to keep a cool head, depisite a nasty rogue wound, who had cut a deep fling in my leg. I located the captain on the ship and managed to see him head below deck. When the dust settled from the boarding the pirates were trying to pull away and flee. In seconds everyone from our ship jumped ship and took the battle to the pirates ship. WE fended off the worst of the men topside, and hurried downstairs where the rest of them had baricaded themselves. To say it bluntly it was not pretty, the battle was harsh and brutal, fighting from room to room, avoiding pirates from everyside. Finnaly the captain from the ship was in sight, and I cast my spell in a splitsecond, just as the last piratecrewman was slain. The captain responded well to my spell, and we pulled him out of his cabin and escorted him to our boat.
There we raised our dead, and started the hard task of questioning him. While the captain was dominated he had little trouble answering most of our questions, but there was some that he could not answer. Everytime we tried to get a portname or a describtion of his leader, he would start to choke and frot around his mouth, so we had to tell him not to tell us in order to save him. I could tell that time was not with us, and I could probably not contain my domination on him much longer, so I decided to trick the captain. Using my knowlegde of illusion, I implanted a suggestion in the captains head, a seed of my own choosing. I managed to convice the captain that the battle was won, and that we were his crew. This trick worked brilliantly and he soon set a course our for a place in the ocean, where his port was.
We went underneath deck where there was hefty disccusion about thie turn of this new event I had caused. There was some for and some against, sailing to the pirates hideout. But in the end we decided to sail and infiltrate the small port on the unchartered island. Grohin had also manage to send a message to the navy back in Audira and they decided it was best to route the pirates so they set sail with 8 ships tottaling a force of around 600-700 men to help us. When both we and the navy arrived near the port, we decied to infiltrate the island first, and then the navy would attack at dawn.
We came into a small cavesystem and quickly dispatched the sentinels there guarding the entrance. We went topside and killed a few more patrols, before finding a small path from the beach up to the surrounding cliffs. We all were quiet and snuck above the beach head only to see an amazing sight. hundreds and hundred of pirates was gathering there, setting camp. Jacc had snuck into the camp and told us he had heard Belinarian accents, and that many of the pirates seem to be battle hardened veterans, and not like the pirates we had battled at sea, which I thought was hard enough. We quickly determined the navy was in for a bloodbath and that we someway had to find a way to warn them. But almost as said that, the sun stood up, and the cry of hundreds of navy men charging the beachhead filled the sky. The navy clashed with the pirates, and a fierced battle commenced, with navy men being cut down all around us. We started to harass flanks and tried to cut our way through to some leaderpost, but no matter how many we cut down, there was plenty more to replace those dead. For a moment we all thought we would die there.
Until it happent. A loud sound of wings flapping from the air above us. A large huge Dragon, its colour once gold, now tarnished, swooped down and toar into the pirates. Its claws finding flesh with every swing, its teeth biting all around, and causing fear and havoc amongst the pirates. With our own battles we were not even close to it, but we could see it a few hundred yards away, as it tossed men into the air, only to be impaled by its teeth. And then it was over. The dragon being the deciding factor in this battle, accounting for hundreds of kills. With its deed done, it turned itself to us, marching with big hasty steps to were we standing after the battle. It was covered in wounds and festered holes, and its eyes covered with a white puss like substance. It scream once, and flew off west, leaving the rest of us with a look on our face, as if we had never seen anything like it. And of course most of us hadnt.
We helped the navy clean up the remainder of the Pirates and set sail again for Audiria. Now we await to find out what this all led us too.
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Time have passed, and everything goes around as it normally does.
I was sent a short letter by a certain Craighd Brendimeere. A very pleasant man and very charming. In the letter he required to meet with me urgently for a brief chat. He called upon me due to Storold recommending me.
I met him in Hempstead, and we quickly found a quite spot to talk. He voiced his concern about a certain dangerous criminal, a shadow perhaps a dancer. He talked about how this shadow had killed a Protector of the Weave, and wounded another on a occasion where he had aided in escaping a captive in Lucindas custody, a enchantress.
He mentioned that this shadow would use this woman to gain influence or possibly kill a powerfull family within Hempstead.
He required me to develop a ward or a magical trap that could contain a living shadow and prevent him from acccesing his special abillties. As Im still relatively new in creating wards, beyond the normal spells that can sustain themselves in open air, I said that it would be most difficult, but not impossible. But I would need time for it.
I have this theory about containing the spell Sunburst within a chamber of a hollowed out fine Diamond. The idea is to fill them with enchanting oil and a small enchanting gem. As im a very capable enchanter I know the principles of enchanting diamonds using enchanting gems and enchanting oil. Althou it would not be imbued with a physical enhancing spell, it would instead contain a delayed burst of sun. This would require me to combine two spell I know of use alot, Sunburst and Delayed Blast Fireball. By interweaving the spellthreads from these spells and enchanting the diamonds with this, I could create a timed Sunburst that could explode with magical light bathing a area the size of The Ravens Guildhall in everflowing light. I could probably both blind the shadow and sustain the light for as long as 10 maybee 15 seconds.. before the diamonds would burn out from structual failure.
I got some researching to do it seems.
* she wanders off to the crafting area in Hempstead and the scribing benches *
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*Lin'da sits in her house in Hempstead, by her desk, filling in the blank pages in her journal*
So much have happent since Ive last written in you. The research is coming along slowly, and the tedious enchanting process over and over is starting to get to me. I feel as if its a vice with no end. I understand the basics, and the fundemental of magic and spells. But its a diffrent matter when trying to seperate diffrent effects og spell and interlocking it with another. Without proper guidance and help, i feel that I will solve this problem. I'll keep trying no doubt, and I hope that I can figure out a solution to this light issue.
I happent to be near the strormcrest a few weeks ago, it seems alot of people had gathered there, so I decided to sit amongst them. A halfling came forward and told of a story of this priestess from Hlint needing assistance for finding a lost ring. The story moved most of us, and we promptly left for Hlint in a cart. There the priestess met us and told of us the story of her being robbed not a few days back, by a gang of thugs. We set out for silkwood and for their hideout to recover the ring. We were greeted less welcome than what I had imagined, and the struggle down was a test of will and faith among those we had with us. Many fell, repeatedly as we fought our way down into those dark corridors and trapfilled passages. My full skillls as a praticer of evocation were used, to burn and passify the enemy into oblivion. In the end we stoood victorious after I dont know how many hours of crawling. We found the bandits treasure, and a treasure it was. Hordes of gold stacked upon each other, and of course the priestess ring locked away in a chest, along with a piece of paper. It turned out this paper was part of a greater piece, ripped into 9 seperate pieces. It was told to be the most prized poem ever written, and was the envy of all the bards and poets in the lands. The Priestess asked us after this if we were willing to help her recover the missing 8 pieces and most of us agreed.
Not long after we sat in Stormcrest again, listening to song and enjoying ourselves, when the priestess came to us again. She askeds us to escort her into a cave in the silkwoods, where the she needed to do something. I didnt really listen to what it was, but as I had helped her before I joined her along with the rest of our group. It was not long after we had entered the cave system when hordes of beholders swarmed at us with thier tentacle eyes shooting beams at us. A few, but deciding spells later they were all dead. Some darkelves decieed to meddle with us, and they decided to charge us, after I had encouraged their weak flesh to do so. They were cut down in their dozen, and i enjoyed the combat as only a battle evoker can do, confusing and searing their darkflesh. Later on we came to a city where we had to endure a series of traps and riddles to met with a ghost of a long lost elf, named Tordian. We set him free or killed him, and returned to the Hlint again. On our way back the darkelves decided they wanted the priestess, but again their plans were foiled by our group. Without a warning Ally unleased hell on the darkelves, and as the following explosion consumed the area they stood in, our group charged in, ripping every last elf who still stood apart. We moved swiftly through the caves and disposed of the last of the darkelves and went for their leader, a female mage, but she managed to escape. I fear its not the last time we will see, but I'll make sure its the last. No words, no chat, no discussion, I'll outright kill her.
Enough is enough. I need to get back to my experiments, I got a promise to keep