The World of Layonara
The Layonara Community => Just for Fun => Topic started by: Pseudonym on October 09, 2006, 10:33:49 PM
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1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness.
3. Send her a LORE bird her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "you better be" , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.
4. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement.
5. Recognize the small things, they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewellery is for wussies.
6. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes ... and then turn back to the conversation at hand. Girls love competition.
7. Introduce her to your PC friends as "what’s-her-name". Women love those special nicknames.
8. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is when you pass the badgers near Hlint. Kick them. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?
9. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for far more important things. Like looting.
10. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.
11. Take her out to dinner at the Wild Surge or the Leilon Arms. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say "No, she's not hungry". Girls love a guy that speak for her.
12. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps me happy. And my happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.
// I don't understand where he's going wrong? Any other tips?
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Lol
I think you've covered all the basics there. I can't see what youre doing wrong.
Probably just a lot of guys role-playing gals and they haven't fathomed how a Real Girl thinks yet.
*quickly logs off, hoping someone posts in a different subject before any of the girls see*
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I knew I was doing something wrong, thank you for the guide Pseudonym. Now I will be irisistable.
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This is why Rhynn's first relationship failed (in her mind)
....or it could've had something to due with that whole affair
*walks off laughing*
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Totally. xD Then again, that's what generally happens with Ilsaran Bards. ;)
An amusing list.
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I thought of another;
#13. If you're having a conversation, say, at the Hlint benches, and she wants to join in, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.
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And That's Why anything with Kiva wouldnt've worked
*cackles all amused like*
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14. Give her stuff. Lots of stuff. Doesn't matter what it is, even if she doesn't have any use for it. It's the thought that counts, even when you're giving her seven boxes of assorted spell components and half-finished CNR.
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... like looting :D
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I think I have no 14 ;)
14. Make your girlfriend travel with people who don't like her and then tell her she needs to make more of an effort to be nice to them.
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*looks up to DMOE's* Oh my god Yes.
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15. when courting a woman of the arcane persuasion, bat guano is a great way to unleash the fireballs of her heart
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Pseudonym - 10/10/2006 7:33 AM
// I don't understand where he's going wrong? Any other tips?
You forgot to cast the Dominate Person spell first... ;)
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Wraithdur - 10/11/2006 11:49 AM
15. when courting a woman of the arcane persuasion, bat guano is a great way to unleash the fireballs of her heart
... I can just see getting a full box of bat guano, giving it to her... And then finding out she took Eschew Materials at level 3. xD
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*smiles* Good stuff!
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*shakes his head* haha there's no way any of these would apply to Mila. She obeys her own special laws.
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16. For your first date, take a romp through Ribcage, Curst, Asylum and finally take a relaxing swim in the Styx. Make certain your date is the one who has to pay Charon.
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DMOE - 10/11/2006 9:29 PM I think I have no 14 ;)
14. Make your girlfriend travel with people who don't like her and then tell her she needs to make more of an effort to be nice to them.
*giggles* I thought Muireann found that cute!!?! Isn't that covered by rule #4? Number ... what were we up to? #17. If you care about her never EVER tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be. #18. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. She should find this pretty funny.
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Pseudonym - 10/12/2006 6:23 AM DMOE - 10/11/2006 9:29 PM I think I have no 14 ;)
14. Make your girlfriend travel with people who don't like her and then tell her she needs to make more of an effort to be nice to them.
*giggles* I thought Muireann found that cute!!?! Isn't that covered by rule #4?
Not quite completely covered by #4
Yes....she found it so cute....She's with someone else now :)
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Thought of another!
#19. If attempting to woo an elven lass where 'common' is not her first language, avoid sentences like this...
I wound the bandage around her wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
I could lead if I would get the lead out.
I decided to desert my dessert in the Blood desert.
Since there is no time like the present, I thought it was time to present the present.
When I shot an arrow, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
I was too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a rat sewer.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject my lady subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate that I wish to be intimate?
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... and then they became puns!
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#20. Warm her up when she's cold ... and not by giving her your cloak ... then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop complaining about the cold right now ..." then draw your sword. The best way to get warm is with fear.
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Stephen_Zuckerman - 10/11/2006 10:29 AM
Wraithdur - 10/11/2006 11:49 AM
15. when courting a woman of the arcane persuasion, bat guano is a great way to unleash the fireballs of her heart
... I can just see getting a full box of bat guano, giving it to her... And then finding out she took Eschew Materials at level 3. xD
Mwahaha, Reminds me of the night Turor Sunderstone was selling boxes of "diamonds".
21. Every girl loves smells, as evidenced by the perfumes, soaps and bath oils they love. Fart under the covers and pull the sheets up over her head... this will imprint upon her your personal smell, and she will surely love you for it.
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22. grow a beard, women love bearded men, they think it's rugged.
to increase the beard's aphrodisiac qualities, try to leave leftovers from last nights dinner in it. this will show the woman that you are willing to spend months growing a beard especially for her.
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Stephen_Zuckerman - 10/11/2006 1:29 PM Wraithdur - 10/11/2006 11:49 AM 15. when courting a woman of the arcane persuasion, bat guano is a great way to unleash the fireballs of her heart
... I can just see getting a full box of bat guano, giving it to her... And then finding out she took Eschew Materials at level 3. xD
Then again, a good box of Gum Arabic... #23: Convince her you love her by giving her flowers. Lots of them. The quicker you fill her inventory, the quicker you'll fill her heart.
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*Arkolio looks panicky, there are lots of Don Juan-esque competitors out there*
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#17. If you care about her never EVER tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.
Wow... looks like Ive been RP'ing Zan all wrong. Thanks guys, this really helps, now I know just how to RP a woman, this really helps, thanks again :D
and #23?... Never bring a druid female roses... She would kill you, since you killed the poor roses.
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Niles09 - 10/16/2006 2:19 PM
and #23?... Never bring a druid female roses... She would kill you, since you killed the poor roses.
Been there, done that, still pulling thorns out of places. :o
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24. Girls like competition. Ask her if her sister or mother are seeing anyone.
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*shudder*
25. 10 minutes before she returns from questing, find all her garments. quickly put them on and walk in front of her, making your movements as femenine as possible. preferably do this in front of her friends.
this will show her that you are willing to put yourself in her shoes.
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Give them a ring or a necklace, made with gold and diamonds with your name writen on it lol... hahaha
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Mister ark did i tell you this week you are a nutcase? If not just tell me here then i will send you a bird 4 or 5 times a night saying : YOU ARE A NUTCASE *grins*
Serissa Tir'ein
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Oh, Serissa, we both know you want me so-ooooooo bad.
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The Ultimate Way to Woo Any Woman PCon Layonara...
[Tell] Wow! You can roleplay a woman so well, Bob, I'm really impressed.
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*bursts out laughing in the middle of an internet café*
staff: what the hell are you doing!
me: uh, well, bye!
*jumps out of window*
staff: you didn't pay the bill @}"$@%$@&*$££!!!!!!!!!
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#26. If your wife/girlfriend is having a baby and is making too much noise (screaming and the like), shush her. She'll appreciate your thoughtfulness.
// This is my one contribution from RL me!! Oooh, I was in more trouble than Arkolio has ever been!!
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lonnarin - 10/19/2006 2:57 AM
24. Girls like competition. Ask her if her sister or mother are seeing anyone.
Nice one! Also, that way she can never complain that you want so little to do with the in-laws.
#27. Remember, all girls love pick up lines. Memorise some generic ones.
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you must be tired, you've been running through this server all day
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Remember to tell her women should be seen and not heard. She will appreciate you admiring her beauty, without that unnessacary thing about talking.
Also if shes upset, and near tears, just say "I'll give you something to cry about" while raising a hand. She'll appreciate you trying to cheer her up.
(Please forgive me! I just woke up!)
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#30. Always offer to bait your date's hook - especially on the first date.
#31. Impress her with your table manners, when drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.
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32: Women LOVE musicians. Remember to spend over 40k on your own music studio complete with drum machines, synthesizers and random equipment. Don't even BOTHER practicing any musical instuments either. When she asks you to play for her (because after all you tell her you're a musician 5x an hour) just fire up the turntables and play two records at once, horribly synched and shout "Yeah Yo! I MAKE tha Music!" Just kind of sit back and nod your head in tune... she'll TOTALLY think you're hardcore, even if you can't even play "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" on your 2000 dollar keyboards! (met all too many people who fit that bill here in Orlando)
33. If your GF enjoys wearing tube-tops, be sure NOT to warn her to dress up when you take her to lunch with your right-wing 18th century fundamentalist grandmother. She'll fully appreciate such honorary titles as "Harlot" and "Jezebel" from the old goat's 120-proof alcoholic gullet.
34: If she introduces you to any of her friends, don't even bother looking above the neck-line. It'll make her proud to see that you have a keen appraising eye for the goods, and boilster her confidence in herself.
35: Girls LOVE sockpuppets! Put on your best childrens' show character voice and introduce her to Mr. Sweatystinks! If she laughs a little and rolls her eyes, don't quit... keep talking to her with the sock puppet and refer to yourself in the third person. When she finally tires of this, start becoming randomly angry and demanding that she either apologize to the inanimate figment or hit the road. Remember to smash a bottle against the wall, shrieking in his voice... "You just don't like me because I have a sock for a hand! You're ALL the same!!!"
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Um are you OK? We can send help... somehow, I think, Right? I hope...
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I'm not sure how Fadrien would feel about some of those....... I'd suggest against trying though :P
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I think Lonnarin is destined to have a series of very short term relationships... until word gets around, then he'll just be very lonely :)
Vyris
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36) Women like to make you THINK they want some time alone, but really what they want is for you to be near them all the time, so if she says she has to leave, follow her, if she sees you following her dive into some bushes or hide in a trashcan, let her see you though, so she knows your still with her. Then, when she gets where she is going creep up near her and breath heavily from the darkness. If she enters a house slip in through a window and find a dark closet to hide in. Failing that peering through whatever available window is the next best thing. If you lose track of her in the house just climb up top and walk around on the roof for a while.
37) Make things up about her and tell strangers, this will help her build her reputation. All women want everyone to know everything about them, whether it's true or not, it's part of their vanity.
38) If you happen to be a spellcaster and your lady love happens to be a fighting type, try to put her right on the edge of every AOE spell you have, this will let her know that you're thinking about her.
39) If you happen to be a spellcaster constantly buff the object of your affection with an eagles splendor spell, then stare at her chest, frown a bit then walk around to check out the back side. then go "Huh.." If you have an empowered eagles splendor spell cast that next and repeat. This will subtly let her know she needs to get out those bustercise and buns of adamantium work-along illusion scrolls and quit eating half a pecan pie a day.
40) Give her canteens of water, explain that all the sugar in the fruit juices and calories in wine and beer will just maker her fat(er).
Vyris
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To Lonnarin and Vyris,
I am seriously contemplating stepping down from my position of having the smoothest PC on server and handing the reins over to two such obviously accomplished romantics.
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2 months of consecutive dating so far is my running record! I feel vindicated though, for all of them moved way faster than I was expecting to at the time. That makes me both irresistable AND incorrigible at once! (whoah... erm, I just uh... wanted to kiss you goodnite, but... YEAH!)
41) Women love horror flicks; they're full of excitment. Instead of taking her out to a resturaunt, instead invite her out to one and hold a graveyard picnic. Make certain to set the towel right over a grave-site, and talk to the guy below as if he was still with you two there, in the realm of the living. Pretend that he's your hired help, asking things like "Jeeves... wilst though fill our teacups? " then just kind of laugh randomly and shout, "Oh right, YOU'RE DEAD!" When she asks to go home, begin to walk her to her car, then collapse down to one knee, grasping it frantically screaming "ITS GOT ME! ITS GOT MEEEE!" and somersault into the nearby bushes, making gargling noises like a yodelling water elemental.
42) Women LOVE contradiction, especially in religious fundamentals; it keeps them on their toes. If she's Catholic, tell her you're Protestant. If she's Protestant, tell her you're agnostic and don't even really KNOW what's out there. If she's Agnostic, tell her you know Satan personally. If asks you about it, just yell at her... "You're Agnostic, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!" If she's Nihilist, take her to a Boy Band concert and make fun of Peter Murphy. (with Love & Rockets, you'll have PLENTY of material)
43) If she ever winds up sleeping with your best friend, don't be alarmed. Just kind of shrug and straight-faced tell her... "ABOUT TIME! I've been trying to get you two to hit it off for MONTHS now, but you kept pawing at me!" She'll suddenly get all confused and ego-hurt deciding to cheat on him with you this time around, because you're "unattainable".
44) Women are always on the lookout for a family-orientated man to settle down with. Remember to at all times bring a family member to nights out, especially your over-bearing and over-critical mother or your dad who lounges around Sundays drunk in his boxer shorts. This kind of commitment keeps her optimistic about the future.
45) In the heat of passion, never neglect the erogenous pleasure of the tongue to the ear. What better way to remind her of the time the brain-slugs invaded Chekov in Wrath of Kahn to sap away his loyalty to Starfleet? Just dig in there and scoop out as much ear-wax as you possibly can, hopefully until she attains bactrial infection! (ugh, I had a GF who kept doing this and I HATE it with a passion. It's like, what are you doing?! GAH! Now all I hear is you drooling and going "blaaaahhh")
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46. to spice up a relationship; try roleplay.
i reccomend pen and paper dungeons and dragons
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47) Take a page from Bjornigar's playbook, and serve ogre baby for breakfast, or lunch, or dinner. It's the other grey/green meat!
Vyris
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48) If she's a hobbit or just happens to enjoy walking around with bare feet, try bowling decapitated giant heads at them. Keeping her on her toes will improve her reflexes and be much appreciated.
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*bored at work, dusts off this old thread*
#49.
Be a good father. A mother knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. The man should endeavour to be vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
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#32. Make sure you always confuse her name with other girls names. She will know then that you are only concerned with what is inside, not those superficial labels we put on people.
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Well............ I Know I'm in love now!! lol
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Lol
Probably just a lot of guys role-playing gals and they haven't fathomed how a Real Girl thinks yet.
I do that!