The World of Layonara
The Layonara Community => Just for Fun => Topic started by: Pseudonym on November 09, 2006, 02:14:36 PM
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What's going on? Two days without a new Just for Fun topic?
Ok, here's my new poll.
Australia will win the Ashes with the following result...
:)
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wins the what?
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*hands 666hellspawn the Hitchhiker's Guide Trilogy*
Read.
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England will in fact keep their hold onto the ashes of English Cricket. *Sticks out his tounge.*
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*makes mental not to get more DVD's as the stupid TV companies are going to be putting cricket on*
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Punter won the toss and he (ie.I) decided we would have a bat. Matty Hayden, the broad shouldered but fundamentally flawed Queenslander was out for a duck in the first over and little Justin Langer, followed only a few balls later after being hit in the groin six times in a row during a particularly nasty over from Harmo. Shaking with fear, the rest of the team (except Gilly) immediately retired hurt, supposedly all struck down simultaneously with a mystery virus. So, although I had been brought over mainly to bolster the bowling ranks, here I was being called on to do the job at the crease as well. Walking out with Gilly I revealed to him it was I, and not Slats, that was the biological father of his little fella. He, of course, instantly forgave me as I was also his biological father (there's a whole other story) and we managed a brief hug before commencing our, what the press is now calling my "Move over Bradman" comeback.
I won't bore you with the details but suffice to say 824 n.o at a strike rate of 485.2%. I was personally a little disappointed with the strike rate but forgivable in that I had to score a 3 off the last ball each over to keep my boy off strike. What I was happier with though was in the course of my innings I managed to muscle a square cut literally through the show pony Kevin Pietersen fielding at point. Oh, how we laughed to see him doubled over trying to contain his spilling entrails that coiled like writhing serpents around his bloodied, clutching fingers. I had planned to take his head off with a barrage of short pitched bowling but I confess to enjoying the spectacle that did eventuate.
Unfortunately my knock came to a premature end when Gilly was out Mankad, but maybe it was a blessing in disguise because with the Poms having to face 30 overs before the end of the day I would have a chance to unleash myself at them. Well, "Move Over Laker" scream the tabloids today. Yes, figures of 9/16 and then, after enforcing the follow on, 9/22. I was denied my 12th 20 wicket haul of my career when Flintoff was out hit-wicket twice at the other end to Shane "It proves even tools can get girls as long as you're famous" Warne.
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hehe...not you've really confused them all Pseudo.
All in all the aussies should smash the whinging pom's with their eye's closed.
Actually we could win the ashes with our next three divisions. That at least would make it more interesting.
Oh, and just to remind everyone that Australia smashed the poms in Rugby League on Sat night, putting them out of the finals.
cheers,
Polak76
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You like rubbing it in don't you polak? :) teehee
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I filled out my own poll with a 4-0 result. A day and a bit into the first test ... is it too late to change it to 5-0?
Don't worry you English people, you've still got an alright team in the . . *voice trails off, frantically thinking of a sport that England is even half decent at*
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Pseudonym - 11/23/2006 5:52 PM
I filled out my own poll with a 4-0 result. A day and a bit into the first test ... is it too late to change it to 5-0?
Don't worry you English people, you've still got an alright team in the . . *voice trails off, frantically thinking of a sport that England is even half decent at*
Cooking?
....wait is that even a sport?
......wait are the English good at that?
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Rugby....We do alright at Rugby
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DMOE - 11/24/2006 5:57 PM
Rugby....We do alright at Rugby
Oh, Jen, you make it too easy! Past triumphs don't count.
England DID alright at Rugby. Once upon a time.
They ONCE had a decent sprinter in Linford Christie.
ONCE upon a time they had an okay middle distance runner.
Didn't they go alright in the soccer back in the 60s?
Tim Henman in the tennis? *giggles*
I suppose Colin Montgomery has done okay in the golf this year . . . oh no, that's right - he's a Scot!
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CHAzz - 11/24/2006 5:22 PM
Cooking?
....wait is that even a sport?
......wait are the English good at that?
Have you forgotten that England is the land of kippers, warm beer, black pudding and haggis (yes, it's Scottish and yes, I made the distinction above, but now it suits my point so ... shush)
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Pseudonym - 11/24/2006 7:07 AM DMOE - 11/24/2006 5:57 PM Rugby....We do alright at Rugby
Oh, Jen, you make it too easy! Past triumphs don't count. England DID alright at Rugby. Once upon a time. They ONCE had a decent sprinter in Linford Christie. ONCE upon a time they had an okay middle distance runner. Didn't they go alright in the soccer back in the 60s? Tim Henman in the tennis? *giggles* I suppose Colin Montgomery has done okay in the golf this year . . . oh no, that's right - he's a Scot!
Well to be honest my idea of sport is watching Men's Gymnastics so I'm not the best person to discuss British sport ;)
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And the chant goes up - "One-nil, one-nil, one-nil, one-nil, one-niiiii-iiiil!!!"
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You want a real contact sport? play the Canadian ( almost original version of the game except they wear protection) of La crosse. Now there is a sport where it is leagal to hit your oponent with your stick. hehe
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One - nil huh? Wow....you really....er....slaughtered us. *grins*
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LordCove - 11/27/2006 10:35 PM
One - nil huh? Wow....you really....er....slaughtered us. *grins*
Thus far buddy . . thus far!
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And the chant goes up - "Two-nil, two-nil, two-nil, two-nil, two-niiiii-iiiil!!!"
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I gave England the benefit of the doubt, and said 4-0 Aussie, despite having LOST a game they should blatantly have won/drawn. I may be a South African living in the UK, but I'm still enjoying the thrashings.
Why Giles?! You idiots! Dropped Ponting on 35 in the 1st innings, didn't bowl well. lost the game for England.
Funny story Pseudo. *images of Pietersen spilling his guts* how I laughed! And Hellblazer, you haven't seen contact sport until you've witnessed Irish Hurling. Aerial hockey, with no protection. but that's beside the point, as cricket isn't a contact sport...
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Q. What do Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason.
Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.
Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat.
Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
A. An all-rounder.
Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones have over the rest of their team-mates?
A. At least they can say they're not really English.
Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.
Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.
Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.
Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.
Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?
A. Because he was born in England.
Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.
Q. What's the English version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.
Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English team?
A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.
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Stephen_Zuckerman - 11/10/2006 9:24 AM
England will in fact keep their hold onto the ashes of English Cricket. *Sticks out his tounge.*
Good prediction Stephen!!!
*laughs maniacally*
3-0
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*climbs up to a clock tower with a rifle, waiting for Pseudonym to walk past*
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why would anyone want to win some ashes?
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........you didn't really just ask that, did you?
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heh heh sorry I couldn't help it :P
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Warnie, sure, you are a tool, but the game will never see your equal again.
:(
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did the cricket die
not sure i follow why its sad or its being cremated
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The Ashes ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ashes
Warnie ... think Gretsky, Jordan, Tiger, Joe Montana (?) and The Babe all rolled into one.
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4-0. I really truly almost feel sorry for the English. Almost.
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Yeah... I'm starting to feel that way, too, Pseudo.
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4 nil, 4 nil, 4 nil, 4 nil!
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*straps Dynamite to the thread and blows it up*
Invent you're own bloody sport then!
*walks away with a grin as bit's of the thread fall all around him*
Typical, the English invent a sport.....invite the World to play it, and end up being the worst at it......
....we should be like the American's, invent Baseball......call the Tournament the World Series.....but don't let any bugger else play incase we find we're crap at it too.
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Well we're on the eve of a complete 5-0 wipe-out. England second innings with 5 out and taking on water, with the aussies plugging more holes to the sinking ship.
It's actually got quite boring, but then it's nice to see Warnie & "ooh ahh Glen McGrath" leave the stage on such a high.
For all you poms you might want to think about following another sport....erh...then again not much luck over there either. Stick to drinking!!
Peace...
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Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came out - Fireman, policeman, salesman, builder, IT whatever etc. but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about His father.
"My father is an exotic dancer at the pink pelican club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and gives them dances. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll ... he'll *sob* ... he ..." At this point little Billy cannot continue.
The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Billy aside to ask him if that was really true. "No" said Billy, "He plays cricket for England, but I was just too embarrassed to say..."
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hehehe....nice one!
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World Cup time, thought it appropriate to dust off this thread in order to give us Aussies the opportunity once again to laugh at those unfortunates on this server living in England, NZ and South Africa ....
.... oh yes, I have a good feeling.
Run Mssrs LordCove, Aragwen, Tanman, mixafix, etc ... run ... but you cannot hide from my amusement and ridicule!!!
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*bump*
Far be it from me to gloat but ... Australia win the real World Cup/Series!!!
So said because there is actually more than one nation invited to participate!
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First off....crickets are used for bait!
Secondly and most important...and your all bloody crackers! :D
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*grumbles*
Yeah yeah....give credit where credit is due.
Well done Australia.
At least Layonara win as well.
Pseudonym the bet I lost, is on the way to Leanthar :D
*grumbles walking away* just wait....the rugby is coming :)
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Australia will win the rugby too :P
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*dusts off an old thread in readiness*
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Pseud... What are the Ashes?
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your know, that stuff you turn into after a wizard/sorcerer(ess) glares at you... <>
:D
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The Ashes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ashes).
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Australia will win the ashes, this is in the Just for Fun section ain't it..yeah thought so. :)
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Come on Freddie , KP, Broad and the boys .....
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On the eve of the second test, thought i'd just give an update to those interested.
Australia - 0
England - 0
Bad sportsmanship and shameful delaying tactics - 1
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*whistles to himself, coughs and points to a link* Press me! (http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2009/aug/25/ashes-england-australia-2009-overview) *smiles and walks off whistling a happy tune*
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Well Bryant, the Jerk Store called, and they're running out of you!! *grumbles*
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Hehe. My apologies I just felt the need after reading the rest of the thread. :) I actually have no real interest in Cricket in the slightest. I did it on principle... better luck next time?