The World of Layonara
The Layonara Community => Just for Fun => Topic started by: Thunder Pants on November 30, 2006, 10:33:49 AM
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i know it's been a good long while since i posted here, mostly due to me no longer playing NWN, but i ran across this Article and just had to share
"If you play an online game that you enjoy, there's one surefire way to spoil the experience: read the forums on the official site. There you will find a vast underworld of lost souls keening their misery onto your screen. A game you thought was entertaining, well-balanced and attractive will be torn apart before your very eyes and pronounced lacking in every conceivable way.
It doesn't matter that the complainers spend as much time on the game as you do, and probably more. While they may disagree on the nature of the flaws, they are united in agreement that whatever those flaws may be, they are unforgivable.
Herewith then, a guide to the deranged, degraded inhabitants of the forums. You cannot defeat them, they provide precious little experience, but if they get their claws on you, they may turn you into one of their own.
The Power Craver
Wants only one thing -- more power with less effort. Any downgrade in power is infuriating. Any upgrade is insufficient.
Sample Quote: "I can't believe they nerfed the pillar of lava spell! How am I supposed to kill twelve ogres at once now?"
Punishment: Forced to admit that no matter how powerful in the game, still works as a cashier at Kroger in real life.
The Magical Realist
Doesn't understand what a "game" is. Constantly makes arguments based on what would be "realistic," even if the game is set in a fantasy world run by wizards and pixies.
Sample Quote: "You can't tell me a Mondlagarian Tiger Warrior is stronger than a Swamp Troll. That just doesn't make sense!"
Punishment: Sent back to kindergarten for remedial make-believe classes.
The Majority Stockholder
Seems to believe that $15 a month buys you a seat on the board of directors. Doesn't realize that a hundred thousand other people are ponying up the same amount.
Sample Quote: "I've e-mailed the developers several times telling them that Fire Paladins should have the axe-throwing skill. They haven't changed it, but they're still taking my money!."
Punishment: Forced to work customer service for an online game company.
The Emancipator
Sees the game as a titanic struggle between the evil expressive developers and the poor, downtrodden gamers. The evidence? Every rule and limitation in the game.
Sample Quote: "I don't see why I have to complete quests to get epic weapons! If I want my second-level Bumblefur Bard to wield the Deathsword of Arat'rak'k'k'k, that's my right! Quit telling me how to play!"
Punishment: Sent to Sudan to experience first-hand what oppression actually feels like.
The Eternal Quitter
Just comes on the forum to let everyone know he's quitting for good and to spend a dozen paragraphs explaining why. Then does it again three months later.
Sample Quote: "For real, this time."
Punishment: Forced to actually quit.
One-Issue Poster
Only has one complaint, but posts about it 15 times a day. This is because nobody else cares.
Sample Quote: "THE LAVENDER STARBELT IS ACTUALLY PERIWINKLE!!!! WHY DON'T THEY FIX THIS??!!!?!"
Punishment: Lavender Starbelt changed to lilac.
The Lifestyler
Wants a bunch of cosmetic changes to a single type of character. Exhibits an eerie level of identification with said character.
Sample Quote: "The Pastry Elves' laugh should be less bubbly and more tinkly. Our giggle should remind you of gazing at the stars as a child, and our smile should make you think of the taste of honey on a cool spring morning."
Punishment: Character icon replaced with accurate photograph of self.
The Deathmonger
Main complaint about the game is that you can't kill everything. Secondary complaint is that the things you can kill don't suffer enough.
Sample Quote: "Why can't I make the baker watch me kill his wife and child, then force-feed their flesh to him until his stomach bursts? What is this, Barbie's Horse Adventure?"
Punishment: To be determined, pending DNA analysis of freezer contents."
(original article can be found here http://www.wired.com/news/culture/0,72119-0.html )
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OMG. That is so accurate. :) Funny stuff too.
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hahahaha
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This may be the best post I have ever read!
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HEE HEE HEE! That about sums it up.
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Lol.
Where can I get a "lavender" star belt?
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Nice post!
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Oh my hehehe this was a fun one.
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Heheh!
Best to hide! *runs away* ;)
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Should this be stickied??!!?
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I second the sticky nomination, whats even funnier is that some of the replies on the original article that TP linked are proving his point for him by trying to slam his post :)
Ahh... ya have to love the internet!
Vyris
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*stands up and applauds*
I couldn't have said it better myself. Which isn't saying much, but still - nice find!
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lol, nice
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This is just sad........for that which is not open to change , stagnates...and them that are submissive to this lack of change are doomed to be it's slaves.......* returns to sighting in his stainless steel .308 out his bedroom window on small woodland creatures and any revenuer's that happen by*
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*shakes head*
Funny thing, those really big complainers are also those that plays most.. hmmm or else Ive just watched too much The Simpsons "worst episode ever" - Comic Book Guy.