The World of Layonara

Character Development => Development Journals and Discussion => Topic started by: MJZ on March 06, 2007, 08:55:52 PM

Title: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on March 06, 2007, 08:55:52 PM

[SIZE=10][There is no title on the pale cover of this slim book, the first leaf having only the names "Nildro'hain," and below, "Ariel Applerose"; scribed onto it; the first in Gnomish, the second in Halfling. The first entry appears in Common, a few pages in, and is written in a curling, perfectly-legible if somewhat careless hand. There are no orthographic errors, though the occasional splotch of ink, no doubt due to holding the quill over the paper a moment too long, does occur. It has no date.]
[/SIZE]
I’m rambling. I’d tell Ced about it – well, I have told Ced about it, he just denies everything – of course! and says the right thing in something of the wrong way. Don’t get me wrong here, I am thankful for his kindness, his constant kindness to me. Of course I am. Very much so! Only, sometimes I wish he’d have a thought that wasn’t so compliant with me. Oh, what am I doing? Ced’s not the one troubling me!

Well, the bare bones of the matter is I’ve met someone who scared me silly. This [a sizeable blot occurs here] cloying, bubbly, utterly [another blot] inane woman, who seems to mean no harm but fries everyone’s nerves bouncing off them, who doesn’t seem to know too much, behaves perhaps completely on a whim and gets upset over the slightest thing.

And all I could think about was, oh, dear gods, please don’t tell me I come off like that. [There is a blot here.]

So here I am, sitting on the grass with Ced, writing this out that I have someone to tell it to.


I know I’m green. I know I just left home (my second home), I know I was raised by a clan of happy Halflings – before they were trodden on, that is. I know I’ve barely gotten a grip on this power of mine, I know that maybe I ask [a blot] unnecessary questions at times.

           But please, Beryl, Ilsare, Mist – who-ever is listening, how about you, Rofirein? While you’re inspiring dry old clerks somewhere in a cold, empty courthouse, how about dabbing me with a bit of justice? I know despite all those things I’m no-ones fool – tell me the rest of the world sees it that way, too.

Title: RE: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on March 06, 2007, 09:16:17 PM

[The next entry is a loose leaf of parchment, clearly unfinished. It contains a long list of nouns and some verbs, those in the first column written in Halfling, those in the second in Common. Care has evidently been taken, as there are no ink blots present.]

[FONT="]Khiidurkm – Greetings
whuirt – friend
irila – enemy
nicb – help
U – I
ayo – you
ni – he
mni – she
zi – we
li – me
dnia – they
el, ehi, um – am, are, is
dned – that
dnum – this
zea – way

lyrmdih – monster
yhs – orc
ykhi – ogre
gypyct – kobold
kuerd – giant
pertud – bandit[/FONT][/I][/SIZE]

 *Note: "M" in Halfling works like the "S" in common, for plural forms. Eg, Pertudm means "bandits."

.....  

[The list continues in this manner for a bit.]

Title: RE: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on March 06, 2007, 09:29:22 PM

[This paragraph appears on the next true page. It begins with an irritating ink blot.]

Let’s see what I forgot to mention. Dew’s made a friend, his name’s Meralt (he’s Mr. – I mean, Tadhg’s familiar). Some horrible little man with a pointy hat called them “summons.” Please! I don’t command Dew to do anything, she always looks for ways to help, herself, before I say a word! Hmph. Meralt’s a pseudo-dragon, so he’s not as tough as Dew, even though he looks it. He’s faster, though! And louder, too. They shared a roasted (and stolen, might I add) rat – gobbled it right down. I’ve never seen Dew take to anything other than fruit and berries. What can have gotten into her? Maybe it’s all this killing and dieing we’ve been doing lately, as Ced would say, “boiling blood and swinging swords!” Who knows, maybe I’ll turn wild soon too, just watch me tear into my next bowl of porridge…

There, you see, everything’s alright. Just fine.

Title: RE: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on March 07, 2007, 09:09:35 AM

[The next entry is added somewhat below the previous, on the same page. It is in Gnomish. The handwriting is a bit more jarring, but unmistakably in the same hand. Indeed, it is so different in style and tone from the previous ones, that were it not for the obvious sameness of the script, one might suspect a different person had written it.]
 
Oh, stop trying to lie. It won’t work, and you know it. Lies take something you don’t have. Oh, you’re no-one’s fool, alright. But no-one’s your fool, either. Least of all yourself. What do you want out of this? What are you looking for? A quick trip straight into the book of the dead? Because that’s where you’re headed, at this rate. How did it feel, looking on your own tombstone, your own name carved there, by the hand of your friends? Oh, it wasn’t so bad. You can’t keep me down.

Not against little kobolds, maybe. Do you think that’s the worst of what’s out there? Some blobs of jelly gone bad, an ogre or two? A sack of bones strung together? Just save the lies. Thing’s aren’t alright. There, you’ve said it. Now I can move on.

 

Title: RE: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on March 07, 2007, 11:35:58 AM

I can’t move on. I can’t do it, because this isn’t something you can move past. It’s entangling. It’s inductive. You can’t just leap over a current, you have to fight against it, and how often do you hear of someone succeeding at that? As if I wanted to! Sometimes things seem to smear and run together, like too much paint on a small canvas. Ced’s my rock in that sea. He’s always there, same old Ced, thick mop of hair standing on end, great big sword at ready, squinting at anything even conceivably out-of-the-ordinary in sight. But when I try to pan out, to take in the landscape surrounding him, the people standing by us, the gore on our clothing – it’s a paysage that someone’s come along and scribbled me and Ced into. I can’t see how we “fit.”  I can’t remember feeling so misplaced. Even my first night in my new home with the gnomes – even when I was wandering the woods after the assault, what was it, 15 years ago. I mean it, not even then. But I think I’m falling into old habits. I’m starting to get the urge to crawl under the table. Not that I’ll ever do it!

 

Title: RE: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on March 08, 2007, 05:40:04 AM

You’re not lying anymore, now you’re just hiding things. That’s pretty much the same, though. And, of course, you silly thing, you can’t hide it from me! Write it out, it will help you somewhat. Take it out and place it down, so you can look at it, and at least see just what you’re dealing with. But you know I’m afraid of that, in a way. I can’t write of that, I can’t make words out of it. I think I’d rather have it inside me.

Ah, we’ll see how long that will last.

Title: RE: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on March 08, 2007, 09:17:06 AM

[This entry is in Halfling, the original tone and style seems to have returned to the words.]
   
  Alright, I’m sick of sulking about corners like a mouse whenever there isn’t a five-foot-thick wall of stone surrounding me on all sides. That’s it. I’ve had it! So I can either sit around in a safe little room for the rest of my days – which I’m sure would make Ced terribly happy – or, I can do something about it. So I do believe I am going to do something about it.

The enchantment upon the hood Lieutenant Jursen handed me – applied by the great Mage Gravious Skyhammer, whoever that is, anyways – well, it creates a nice little buffer around the body. I can emulate it rather easily. Or at least, I thought I could, until tried and noticed something was missing. Good thing Ced ran into that nice hunter who’s happy to trade hides for ingots.
The other two weren’t quite so simple, [a blot] but still, not  much trouble at all. I’d seen them cast maybe a dozen times on those wild trips we took to caves and snowfields and whatnot. I was usually close enough to feel the ebb of the spell, the rhythm, the pulse. The spherical shield is surprisingly simple to cast. The ethereal one does make me cold, though. And we all know I don’t like that very much.

Maybe now I’ll last a little longer the next time something decides to whomp me on the head with a sword or axe. Long enough for me to fry it! It certainly helped when we went mining, and Ced kept getting stunned and standing there like      [FONT="][a blot] a statue, swaying from side to side while all those lovely kobolds turned on me. One bolt was all it took, but even still. I can’t stand feeling helpless!

 
 [/FONT]

Title: RE: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on March 10, 2007, 03:16:37 PM

[FONT="]
Men. Why is it that they're more often than not ready to leap at one another's throats? The slightest thing will set them off - and that's coming from me! Then they become all huffy and jealous until you don't know what's what. My mother and father were alone together as far as I can remember - but my second cousin Mayflower, she had five husbands! How did she get them all to behave, and not tear into one another vying for her favour, or worse yet, turn against her instead? Must have eaten up twenty-three hours of every day, at least. Or, maybe it's these human-folk. They must not be used to the competition - whereas it's just a way of life, where we come from. I'd better get a grip on it sooner than later, though, Juggling with creatures twice your size isn't so easy!

On a more sober note, we painted Red Light even redder today - with goblin blood, that is. And some of our own, maybe. I worry so much about throwing bolts into the fray, all it takes is for one brave warrior to take an inopportune step to the left and then - he's not so brave. At least I've found Amra again - it raises my spirits so much to be near her. I wonder why? Perhaps because she's even half my size, and yet she fights like a tigress. Which reminds me! I met one of Mr. Emwonk's "cats" today. Rizzir is his name - I've never seen anything like it. I've barely heard of a "Wemic" before, maybe in one or two of mother Buinbal’s tales. Which reminds me! Mr. Emwonk has dubbed me, a “butterfly.” [/I]Which was part of the reason for all the trouble earlier, actually. Butterflies protect the Current, it seems, and birds eat butteflies, which explains why he shouts "bird!" at monsters and enemies. And cats eat birds.. therefore are presumably protectors of the butterflies? Never a dull moment with Mr. Em about, I tell you.

Ced's quieter than usual. [A blot] Maybe I shouldn't tease him so much.


[/FONT]

Title: Re: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on March 13, 2007, 11:00:53 PM

Never take a half-giant into the desert. It makes the residents angry.

I saw Tahletril disappear beneath hexes of black hissing, clicking limbs, taught, poised stingers, and claws, dripping of their blood... [A blot] Mr. Pig's huge figure closed in on all sides suddenly didn't seem so assertive. Like a black collar, tightening, choking and tightening around him... I thought I had been standing there, mutely, unmoving, but when he too disappeared beneath the gleaming mass and they came toward me - I realized I had been casting.

And when I woke against the stone in Port Hempstead, there was a dark elf, wandering about in full confidence, plain as day. Just  after Ms. Kinai had related to me her [a blot] harrowing dealings with one. And as I dragged myself along the road, the dark elf spoke to me - "Bit off more than you could chew," she said.

Some days, I grow so weary of cheerfulness and politeness. If I ever see her again, I'll bite her so hard her spidery god will feel it!

Title: Re: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on March 14, 2007, 06:37:23 PM

Has it been a full moon these past few days? Or has everyone taken a few too many blows to the head? This tension, the ever-over-hanging fear of death, it must be heating people's tempers - and their minds! Ms. Kinai I understand, at least, I think I do. I could guess why she's so troubled. [A blot] But, Tadhg? I've seen that he can be difficult, yes, but...

"Evil," he said. So dark, so harsh a word. Am I meant to believe it? Perhaps I'd be a fool, not to; [a blot] and yet - and yet it seems so over-blown. EVIL. Yes, we use the word. And so does each and every side. Ask the dark elves to show you evil. Ask the devas to show you evil. Ask..

I miss... I miss...

Title: Re: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on March 15, 2007, 10:48:27 PM

[FONT="]
I had a terrible dream, to-night. I was being chased through the swamps by spiders, and snakes. I had Ced's sword with me, and it was so heavy... I kept trying to cast spells, and they kept fizzling to nothing. When I did succeed, I was throwing bolts of flame, not electricity. But the spiders, and the snakes were everywhere - the muck and brush was crawling with them, and I knew one of them was Seidahn, but I couldn't tell which... [/COLOR][/I][FONT="][the entry ends with a blot of ink.]




[/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]

Title: Re: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on March 18, 2007, 12:52:20 PM

It's a dangerous thing, the flame.

I just couldn't resist. I'd felt it often, too often - most weavers like to toss a ball of fire just ahead of the warriors dashing into the fray. I told myself, no, Ariel, you let them handle the flames, you leave it to those who can keep themselves in check. Those to whom a rush of inferno is little different from a storm of missiles or streak of electricity. I know when I lose my temper I lose control - and the last thing I need is to roast my friends alive along with my enemies, and probably myself as well.

But I can't help it. The heat, the blaze, the very sensation of letting it tear through me, as though I were a funnel from the very plane of flame - it's... [a blot] it's enthralling. It's such a vehement energy, nothing like the others. I've never had much fondness for cold - it is befitting, isn't it? Throwing spines of ice and the like chills me to the bone, it often feels as though I'm punishing myself nearly as much as the monsters they impale. And acid, well, truth be told I've not much experience with it. Who can say - perhaps I'd find it almost as exhilarating as the flame, it certainly has its charms with the harsh immediacy of its energy, the vividness of the colour it creates. And electricity - well, I had always claimed it as my favoured, it had always felt.. [a blot] well, most natural to me, I suppose.

But the flame.. is seductive. Forceful. A paroxysm!

[There are what appear to be a few words continuing, but they have been crossed out and are unreadable.]

It's just that, I can feel the flame billow around me, feel it grow and rage, as though it were to engulf me. But that doesn't frighten me - what frightens me, [a blot] is that I want to let it.

There now, I've begun to sound like a pyromaniac! Perhaps I should keep only enough oil and guano for a few spells, and let Ced hold onto the rest. Yes, perhaps that would be best.

Title: Re: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on March 20, 2007, 12:22:18 PM

[]The following few pages are blank of writing. Between each leaf instead is a flower, pressed flat and dried. The well-preserved petals retain their beauty in this new form, though none of their fragrance. Care has evidently been taken in the process.

The first of these is a red rose. The next two pages contain what appear to have been a bouquet of blue carnations. Then a lily. The last flower is an orange tulip. ]

Title: Re: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on March 20, 2007, 10:32:43 PM

[A small, grease-stained envelope lies between the next pages. It has been opened, but the letter has apparently been re-inserted. There is no sign of pages being torn from the notebook - if any reply to the letter was made, there are no signs of it here.

The letter is written in Gnomish, in a sharp, heavily slanted hand. The backside of the parchment is full of mathematical calculations, to those versed in the matter they are full of physics equations. It seems whoever wrote it was short on stationary.]


I have done it, Nildro'hain - I have augmented the drag-to-induction ratio on the primary rotors. Tilting their base 11.4 degrees up on the z-axis helped somewhat. Shaved the hull an extra few millimeters to adjust for the change. It hovers. It HOVERS, NILDRO'HAIN. For a span of 15 seconds - it is bliss, it is bliss to see it off the ground.

Come home now, I have need of thee. The generator is nothing, I have need of thy electricity. I had given Banen a set of trivial figures to work out for his father, he erred on every single one. No son of mine.

I have need of a new alloy for all the gears on the rotors - I must lower mass, too excessive. I have of need thee to stoke the forge, I have not the time to dig for coal, nor to scrounge for kindling. If only the children might be set to work at that, but thy mother Buinbal forbids it. Let them alone, says she. No wonder the lads cannot do simple arithmetic.

Come home, Nildro'hain. Thy father has great need of thee. Together we shall reach the skies - I have seen it in my dreams. Yea, daughter, I sleep.


[It is not signed.]

Title: Re: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on March 22, 2007, 11:54:14 PM

Balls of a juggling ogre! I think the entire world's gone "barmy as a Spire god" - but then, that's probably exaggerating. What is the Spire, anyways...

Giants tromping into Deliar wielding spears that turn out to be daggers, Mr. Emwonk tearing into a rat carcass one moment and speaking in equations the next - Ced acting like nothing's amiss, Ms. Kinai searching for "flying eyes," pseudo-dragons licking my hand and two more fully armed men with flaming swords drawn rushing into Deliar -- [a blot] it's just about enough for one day. Just about enough.

I don't understand it. He's seen something terrible, and he blames himself for it. What sort of woman has wings, though? [A blot] Could Mr. Emwonk have been imprisoned near.. a deva? It hardly seems possible - but what else has wings? Succubi? That seems even less likely - what ever it was, he can't get his mind around it, [a blot] or if he can, he can't put it to words I understand. He doesn't even seem aware of himself, half the time - of what he's said, or done.. and what bothers me all the more is how Ced behaves as though it's all just fine and dandy - what's the matter with him, anyways! He absolutely refuses to tell me what's going on in that furry melon of his - he's so evasive, I know he's hiding something from me. You'd think after all these years he'd just tell me how he feels, but nooo -



[The entry trails off here.]

Title: Re: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on March 26, 2007, 11:40:01 AM

Alright, so Dew won't talk. [A blot.] Why? I don't know why. She's spent her entire life around me, talking, always talking. And gnomes. Gnomes talk even more than the Lightfoot - believe me, they do, because it takes them that much longer to explain or to describe anything. She can understand me, that much is obvious. I understand her too - it's not as though she needs to speak.. [a blot] but why won't she, if she can?

Pah, but try talking to her about it!

Dew, why haven't you spoken to me?
Frrooo?
Dew, I know you can talk. There's no use hiding it.
. . .Krrriiik.
Uh huh. You heard what Mr. Goronil said. You heard his faerie dragon, Metzingeritz or whatever his name was -
Crrooo.

She just behaves as though she has no idea what I'm asking, which is ridiculous. All that innocuous blinking and fluttering isn't fooling me. And of course she does something irritably affectionate to distract me before I get too worked up about it. Which reminds me, I think Ced feeds her too much, when I'm not looking. I don't remember her stomach being so pouty...

Maybe it's for the best she won't speak. She knows just about every thought that's ever crossed my mind, so!

Title: Secrecy
Post by: MJZ on March 27, 2007, 11:56:46 AM

[FONT="]
This is so frustrating. I keep getting gifts, and then troubles handed me, one and then the other, as if someone up there (or down there) felt it was so terribly important to prevent me from keeping one state mind for longer than a few hours!

"Crude" - Ced's such a bad liar. What am I, some sort of scale, meant to balance them all out? [/FONT][FONT="][There is a blot.] Well, I'm trying. [/FONT]



[It seems this train of thought has been abandoned. The writing does pick up again after some space, however, but continues in Gnomish.][FONT="]



“Write out all thy steps, Nildro’hain. Too much is done in thy head. If thou dost not record each progression, thy errors will be lost to thee.”

Father Buinbal and his words of arithmetical wisdom. You were right, father – and I was always so impatient. And everything’s in my head now, and it’s not making much sense. I have to concentrate to bring a mood to mind – I feel so buffeted, every [/FONT][FONT="][a blot] current pulls me in its own direction. Though I can’t just hold fast and resist them all – what would come of that? They’d all rush over me and past me and I’d be left behind – no, I’m not like those who can stand by and watch things roil around them. I just wish...[/FONT]
[FONT="]
I just wish everyone else would stop for a moment, just a moment, there’s only one thought, there’s just one thought – am I selfish, that’s the word Ced used, not on me, but... There’s only thing I want to think, there’s only one thing I want to feel, and now every time someone tries to pull me from that.. it’s so hard to force myself to react. And explain. And exclaim. And go on and on – oh, thank you very much, it’s alright, I promise, where are you, what’s the matter, you really shouldn’t have – ah! With this thought, this feeling inside of me [/FONT][FONT="][a blot] it’s as thought it has pulled me out of sync with the rest; and it’s so hard for me to push it back, to deal with everything else. Because suddenly it all seems so trivial, compared...
[/FONT]
[FONT="]For once I want to limit the amount of activity around me – probably serves me right for always demanding excitement. I just want to lie here and let it press down on me, wash over me

[/FONT]

[It appears as though the quill had been dropped and the book closed on it, from the smears of ink on this page and the page previous.]

Title: Secrecy
Post by: MJZ on March 27, 2007, 12:00:34 PM

This is so frustrating. I keep getting gifts, and then troubles handed me, one and then the other, as if someone up there (or down there) felt it was so terribly important to prevent me from keeping one state mind for longer than a few hours!

"Crude" - Ced's such a bad liar. What am I, some sort of scale, meant to balance them all out? [There is a blot.] Well, I'm trying.



[It seems this train of thought has been abandoned. The writing does pick up again after some space, however, but continues in Gnomish.]



“Write out all thy steps, Nildro’hain. Too much is done in thy head. If thou dost not record each progression, thy errors will be lost to thee.”

Father Buinbal and his words of arithmetical wisdom. You were right, father – and I was always so impatient. And everything’s in my head now, and it’s not making much sense. I have to concentrate to bring a mood to mind – I feel so buffeted, every [a blot] current pulls me in its own direction. Though I can’t just hold fast and resist them all – what would come of that? They’d all rush over me and past me and I’d be left behind – no, I’m not like those who can stand by and watch things roil around them. I just wish...

I just wish everyone else would stop for a moment, just a moment, there’s only one thought, there’s just one thought – am I selfish, that’s the word Ced used, not on me, but... There’s only one thing I want to think, there’s only one thing I want to feel, and now every time someone tries to pull me from that.. it’s so hard to force myself to react. And explain. And exclaim. And go on and on – oh, thank you very much, it’s alright, I promise, where are you, what’s the matter, you really shouldn’t have – ah! With this thought, this feeling inside of me [a blot] it’s as though it has pulled me out of sync with the rest; and it’s so hard for me to push it back, to deal with everything else. Because suddenly it all seems so trivial, compared...

 For once I want to limit the amount of activity around me – probably serves me right for always demanding excitement. I just want to lie here and let it press down on me, wash over me



[It appears as though the quill had been dropped and the book closed on it, from the smears of ink on this page and the page previous.]

Title: Re: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on March 31, 2007, 06:00:52 PM

[The writing in this entry is even more hurried than those previous - either that, or the surface that the author was writing upon was shifting as she did so.]


Dragon Isles! Have to say Mr. Shiff and Ms. Kinai travel to some very [a blot] interesting places. Swarming with monsters, though. I didn't like to see them kill the little drakes - as Ced said, they're "fierce, and fearsome." Call me partial, but..
Saw more than a few creatures I'd only read about. Those harpies! Shriller voices than my cousin May. And I don't where or how Ced's been practicing with his sword, but suddenly he's beating things ten times his size to the ground. Very impressive indeed.

Speaking of impressive! Have to say I'm twitching with energy - I'd watched, and felt some of those spells cast too many times to ignore them. And I just can't resist.. I don't think it's terribly good of an idea to do it here, maybe once we're back in Vehl. And Ced wishes I'd go home. Can you imagine what would happen to me, without targets to torch? I'd set the village on fire.

[There is a blot.] But there are too many of them - and they're getting too bold. Targets, I mean. Mr. Em and I were jumped by ogres on the road just outside of Ft. Wayfare the other day. I swear, it's always ogres! And Mr. Shiff with his gnolls. Poor ol' pirate - almost drowned himself, drunk, the other day. I tried to settle him down.. that didn't work very well. Swinging his sword around, shouting about gnolls, knocked Mr. Em out cold.

Of course, Ariel managed to muster up a small army and track him down. Then Ms. Kinai showed up with Xeenites... bad timing. Things evened out in the end, things usually even out in the end. I hated having to leave Mr. Em unconscious though - he has enough of his own problems without having to dodge drunken pirates. [There is a blot.] But then, Mr. Shiff's had his own share of troubles, of late, it seems. He mistook me for a human girl, while he was drunk. He's very protective - today on the Dragon Isles, it was quite clear. Of course, having spent a lot of time several inches away from Mr. Paranoia, I don't mind at all. Ms. Val seems to take it as an insult to her abilities, though. I suppose I understand - personally, the more swords between me and those monsters yonder, the better. I don't mind putting up with the occasional, "are you alright? Are you certain?" in exchange.

Oh, and Mr. Coyote [a blot] (now, even I think that sounds ridiculous. Curse those gnomes and their addictive habits!) - I got Coyote to "Ha HA!!" for me. Twice! He has flawless judgement, I say. I've been in a pack with him more than once, and when he leads, it doesn't go astray! And druids have the most peculiar feel of the Weave about them. I wonder if I could ever emulate it? [There is a small blot.]

I should go above deck. Starting to feel a little queasy.

Title: Re: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on April 01, 2007, 09:05:44 PM

[The rashness of the gnomish writing in this entry increases and decreases, as though certain sentences were scribed slowly, others recorded hastily. About halfway through the page, the paper is slightly charred near the edge, where the writer’s wrist would have been resting, presumably.]
 
  There’s only so much rapid eye movement and sighing I can do in town without being completely obvious about it. Almost every day there are more new things – people, creatures, dangers, stories – than even I can keep track of. Everyone has their own dogma, their own purpose, their own convictions, it seems. And their own direction. The land, the sky, the lives – it’s just constant flux, it’s almost just chaos.

In fact there’s so much to fill my mind, too much, it should do something more for me, than it does. [There is a blot.] But it doesn’t. You can hand me pirates, mages, axe-wielding orcs, friendly giants and dark elf philanthropists by the droves, drakes and artefacts on the side – it doesn’t help me. ...The chains aren’t much without the pendant.

[A blot] I miss him. He slipped from sight, like he’s shifted planes, with those words in between... No, I don’t.. I’m not – I don’t mean to be selfish, like that. It’s not my own self that’s troubling me most! I just wish I knew where he was. I don’t know much of anything – if I had to find him, I wouldn’t know the first place to look.

I suppose he could be with his... [a blot] brother. But I can’t even feign indifference to that thought – the char marks on the paper speak for themselves. There, I have to put the quill down a moment before it bursts into flame.              
 

[There are some trails of ink below, as though the quill were dropped.]
 
 
Ced knows, without me saying anything. But I haven’t yet felt right, talking about it. I don’t know... [a blot] it just seems irreverent to treat any of it like a topic of conversation.

And Ced. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was trying to make ill-intentioned insinuations. Ah, but I know better. Ced really doesn’t take all things into consideration when he makes judgements. Like I said, he’s not some handy suitor with a stalk of barley in his trouser pockets.

He’s missing. If I only knew where he was, I think I’d be alright... but he’s missing and I feel that, all the time, all the time.

[A blot.] It’s so strange.. I saw Mr. Em’s eyes today, for once, just for a moment when he took off his goggles. They’re blue.

                 They’re nothing, nothing like his. There’s nothing like you. Seidahn. I love you.

Title: Re: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on April 03, 2007, 02:23:35 PM

If only I could think of some way to go about this, better. For once I need the privacy – I’d never really seen its necessity, like this. [There is a blot.] When we’ve been alone – well, I can’t say I’ve been indescribably eloquent, but, there’s dialogue. There’s dialogue.

But, what am I supposed to do when there are a dozen or so strangers of various heights and widths and colours, armed to teeth or barely clad, standing or running or swinging swords all around us? Make eyes and blow him kisses? Let’s not be ridiculous.

And it would help if I didn’t have to keep trying to convince Emwonk that every other thing in the world is not a “bird”! into the fray Poor Mr. Em, I know it’s cruel of me to be so self-preoccupied, but..! Can’t someone else just look after him, sometimes? [A blot.] I’ll ask Ced if he can help me out. I know he wasn’t there at the time.. I wish he had been, even though it would have just added another person.

Gods, do you know what I’m doing, here? I’m being timid. There’s absolutely no other word for it. It's horrible! Soon I’ll be blushing under my scarf and giggling behind my hand. The very thought is making me shudder...

No, it isn’t just timidity, though. I may have a mouth on me, but I don’t have to be told when something’s private. As much as it’s a strength, it’s still a weakness... even I would never want handfuls of strangers to know the details of my heart.

It’s just that it made me want to pull out my hair, when I saw him and could hardly react.
..Soon, Ariel. But don’t you know, I’m so impatient? How soon is soon?                      
 

[The language switches from gnomish to common for the final words.]

 
  Join flows... infinite?

Title: Re: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on April 07, 2007, 03:19:31 PM

[The language has returned to Halfling.]


Scorpions. Very big scorpions. Alright, that's one heck of a sad understatement. I couldn't even see the whomping thing's tail, it was absolutely ridiculous!! I hate to sound like a back-water Mistonian (Mistonite?), but everything really is enormous on Dregar. I have no idea how we even managed to down that behemoth - [a blot] it didn't seem as though spells were penetrating that glinting carapace - probably thicker than stone. Then again, maybe it was old and ailing, because the boys didn't seem to have too much trouble hacking it apart at the joints. [A blot] Ugh, it was terrifying. I'm starting to see that when Ced told me the so-called "outside" world was absolutely and completely teeming with vicious monstrosities, he wasn't that far off the mark.

Then again, the "inside" world wasn't exactly empty of them, either. [There is a sizeable ink stain.]

There's something different about our friend Cederic Fennelroot. I can't exactly place what it is. I'd say he was rattled by the fact that my little advent has turned out far more brutal and rather less.. fruitful, than I my prophetic painting had been. But I don't think that's quite it. [A blot.] I mean, I doubt he actually swallowed my interpretation whole, then. He sees corruption and danger everywhere he looks - which I do find rather bizarre, by the way. I look at these things and I see something curious, something - a person, a creature, a twisty tunnel I'd never seen before with an odd damp I'd never felt before, and odd scent I'd never smelt before. How can Ced look at each and every strange new marvel, and see the same old thing? He's so [a blot] set in his ways, like a crotchety old man who refuses to smoke a single leaf of pipeweed unless it came from his own garden. It's as though everything in his mind is absolutely set in walls of stone. Good luck bashing your head against them. Not to mention he gives himself away completely at the first moment - if anyone actually does have any sinister or ulterior motives, he's only calling attention to the fact that he's on the look out. Oh well, that isn't the point.

The point is, there's something... [a blot] that unsettles me. It's not really that he's behaving very differently... he just has this air. As though something's out of place.

Maybe I'm just superimposing my own feelings, though.

Maybe it is starting to get to him. Like Mr. Shiff. I can't think of any way better to calm his fears than to fry things as hard and fast as I can. It unbalances me, though. The sharper, and more violent the stream, the more it thrills me. The more raw the release of energy - electric, burning, arousing, the more I want, the more I want to liberate, engulf and be engulfed.

Which would be very lovely indeed, maybe one day I'll tear a funnel in the plane and torch an entire city to cinders. That would be something.

So here I am, rest. Re-balancing. It seems as though most wizards are all about control, and manipulation. Self-importance. Like father Buinbal with his numbers. It may feel to them as though they're using the energy for their gains, I suppose. But the Weave would be there, even if they weren't.

About all the control I have is keeping the funnel the right size and making sure the target's a monster, and not a friend! You don't "make" it. You let it flow through you.

Title: Re: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on April 10, 2007, 01:11:57 PM

[The writing in this entry is hastily done, even more so than usual. Words have been crossed out, trains of thought abandoned. It is clear the author was rattled and agitated when recording her thoughts here. The blots of ink are smaller in size, but far more frequent. Were the words illegible, the author's emotional state would still be apparent, at least.]


I am such an idiot. Strangers saw it. Psychologically crippled strangers saw it. A man from another plane saw it - where in Ilsare's name have I been? I can't possibly be that far lost in the clouds. I can't possibly be that imperceptive. And apparently it's as plain as day.
[INDENT]

"Ariel suffers visual dysfunction, alternate, Cederic suffers communications dysfunction, alternate inclusive dual possibility."
"I see through that fellow like a piece of gnomish glass! Visual dysfunction, indeed!"

[/INDENT] I can't believe him. He's utterly and entirely incapable of expressing one single emotion to me! - No, that's not so, it's just... They can't have expected me to have known this. Would Emwonk, or Mr. Shiff - would they ever suspect their sister of harbouring such hidden feelings? The thought simply does not enter one's mind! No, we don't share any real blood like born siblings do - but we've always been siblings to one another! He's been tagging along behind me for as long as I can remember, and for as long as I can remember, he never once let on his affection flowed in a different sort of stream. It's absolutely absurd.
[INDENT]"Recycle cognition Emwonk perception Eru cat equal bird?  Similar erroneous perception possible Ariel's visual."
[/INDENT] No, I'm not going to blame myself for his inability to speak, act, or emote. What kind of person would keep such a thing hidden, for so many years, for what purpose? Why? Why, Cederic? What would be so very, very hard about dropping the gal a hint, all those many, many times she sought to reassert the nature of your relationship?

"We're the best of friends. Isn't that right, Ced? "
"Yes."

Oh, you're such a charmer!! I know I'm not as blind as a Svirfneblin in the mid-summer dawn. It's obvious he never wanted me to think of him in that manner. For whatever stern, squinty reason that might be. And I'm certain they all feel very sorry for him. Well they shouldn't. He clearly knew what he was doing, and he's been doing it for twenty-nine years. He can keep doing it for another two-hundred and ninety, if he wants to. I don't care.
[INDENT]"For pity's sake! Even Seidahn managed to.. to.."



[/INDENT]

Title: Re: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on April 10, 2007, 03:36:07 PM

[The entry below is in Gnomish. The script is far more legible, yet the lettering remains harsher in appearance.]


It isn't so. You haven't "forgotten to consider a variable," as you so sagely put it, tonight. You knew; you've known. You've always known. Let's not be ridiculous. Just where is the need for it, in front of no one but yourself?

And yes, you reasserted it. Why did he always respond in that self-same way? Because you weren't asking. You were asserting. It was always a statement. The only question was if he still understood. Do you hear me, Ced? Yes.

And why? Why, Ariel? Because that's the way it had always been. And nothing was going to change that. And that was alright! It was alright and fine. There were decades upon decades before you - there still are. No one who had known you ever thought you would be the type to settle with but one husband. Even if you wanted to, what a shame for us lads, they'd say. Time was as Prunilla's field - rolling, rolling. A century from now, you thought, perhaps you'll have had your fill of adventures. There was no reason to press on. Ced's patience was just infinite.

And then, he was watching you. Eyes like a sheet of ice, and the depth beneath it. The blue heart of flame. And the frailest touch, that consumed you. That consumes you now, even still, as you think of it.

And all at once, conventions drained from your mind like the blood from your face. I don't need plans. I don't need decades. I hand them over freely, for that one, fleet moment.

I love you, I'd whisper back, even were you deaf, and blind, even had you no heart. I love you...

I don't know why, but I do. And all I can think, is that it's been far longer than "soon."

Title: Re: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on April 12, 2007, 09:45:07 PM

[This paper of this entry is heavily charred, the ink barely blotted but scrawled with apparent force and speed. It is in Halfling. Two letters are thrust between the pages following.]

 
That idiot! That colossal, moronic, idiot!! I can’t believe him! I can’t believe he’s actually done this! Turned tail, and fled? From me? Where in all the planes has he gone? What in Ilsare’s name got into him?! After all these years, all his days and months and weeks and sleepless nights of paranoid Ariel-sitting, tasting water lest it be poisoned, all those hours upon hours of strenuous squinting and running helter-skelter to my side – after all this, he just – about-face and runs from me?! Because he’s scared?!

Oh Ced, you are a coward! Not only a coward but completely and entirely selfish! And you’re a fool to think you kept anything hidden from me!

All this time, I thought it was understood between us. Now I find out you’ve only half the mind I thought you had! You monstrous oaf – how could you do this to me? And what if something were to happen to me, in your glorious retreat? What if I were killed for lack of a sword between me and some foul beast you always envisioned was headed straight towards me? Then what would you think of yourself? Then what would you do!?

And you couldn’t even look me in the face! You had to use strangers and letters and go skulking about off on ships in the night! Like some bereaved outlaw! After all this time and everything we’ve been through, you can’t even look your Ariel in the face and tell her something!

Cederic Fennelroot, I swear in the name of Ilsare – when I find you, I’m going to brand the word “coward” onto your forehead with my very fingers! So help me!

Title: Letters
Post by: MJZ on April 12, 2007, 10:05:16 PM

[Two letters have been thrust between the following pages. Both show traces of having been previous rolled, for the gentle curling of their edges. One is a dizzying collection (http://www.layonara.com/474294-post20.html) of multi-syllabic, technical terms with the occasional proper noun thrown in, that seems to nevertheless bear a message of an emotional sort. The other is a letter written in Halfling, in a steady, squarish hand. Both are addressed to Ariel.]



[INDENT][INDENT][INDENT][INDENT][INDENT][INDENT][INDENT][INDENT][INDENT][INDENT]Dear Ariel,

I cannot stay here any longer. The things I feel inside have been locked-up for so many years already, and now that you are about to find out the truth, I am frightened beyond my wildest dreams of what your reaction may be.

I have been scared all my life. I charge the largest enemy without hesitation, I shield you from any villain without flinching, but I have always been afraid of how you would react were you ever to find out how I feel about you.

I am a coward, and therefore I flee.  You do not need me to protect you any longer. Emwonk, Shiff, and Seidahn. They will all be able to keep you safe and happy. More so than I ever could.

Farewell, Ariel. May your friendship with Emwonk and Shiff keep you safe, and your love for Seidahn bring you happiness.

Forever yours,

Cederic            
[/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT]

[/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT]

Title: Re: Ariel's Unnamed Book
Post by: MJZ on April 16, 2007, 04:35:20 PM

[In red ink, written in Halfling, the author has addressed a letter. While not free of ink-stains, the script is noticeably more controlled.]


[INDENT][INDENT][INDENT][INDENT][INDENT][INDENT][INDENT][INDENT]Missus Elia Fennelroot,

 You will simply have to forgive me for not writing more often. I know I have not sent word in some time - but I know Cederic is often mailing letters home. Which brings me to my point.

 Your son has disappeared. Please, it is as alarming for me to write this as it must be for you to read it. I can't say I know exactly what's gotten into him - and I know you didn't raise him a coward. But there it is, a few off words from one of the friends we've made here, and he's run away in fear of what I will think of him. Can you imagine it, aunty - fear of my opinion has led him to do something so shameful? Guaranteed only to trouble and infuriate me?

 Perhaps I'm not being very clear, but the bottom of the matter is that your son has disappeared and left me to the wolves. Needless to say, I'm completely outraged. I wouldn't have expected this of Cederic in three centuries' time.

 I have the distinct feeling that he has returned home. It's nearly all he ever spoke of, in any case. If he is there, even as you read this, slap him one, twice, three times from me. And tell him if he's not going to get up on his feet and face both himself and me, I will come down there and fetch him myself. And drag him out in front of all of his cousins and relations!

 If you have not heard from him yet, please do let me know when he reaches home.

 And you must forgive me for distressing you. How is my dear sister, Juni? Filling you all with migraines and heartache; and tugging and pulling at every nerve available, I hope!


 Ilsare keep you all.

                 

A. A.

[/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT]