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Vows
In our most dire of hours we walk a path that seems so alone in our
lives. A veil covers our eyes keeping us from seeing what is true and pure.
The veil keeps us from seeing that love was meant to be.
The veil keep us from understanding that pure love is understood within
the heart without question.
True love does not need to be told to us, it does not need words to
describe how it should be. True love knows within our hearts when it is
true, without question, it just simply is.
Today before our friends my love, I speak my vow to you for all to
witness and understand how deeply our love is.
My vow to you as deeply as the one you have made to me. I promise with
all my heart to love you beyond the moment that existence ceases to be.
My vow to love you unendingly and unconditional. To be patient and
understanding always. To love you even more in those moments where we
disagree because without our own distinct presence and opinions we would not
be who we love so dearly.
I vow that from now until the time ceases to comfort and hold you not
only when we are at our worst but to treasure those moments no less than
if you were at your best.
You are my best, you are my soul and my heart Krysthalien Dawnstar, and
I love you body, heart, mind and soul.
Today before our friends I promise to love you forever and always. You
are my reason for living and without you to complete us. I would be
lost. You have found me. You have saved me and I promise my heart to
always remain true to you.
Will you Marry Me Krysthalien? Will you forever and always lose yourself with me, My Dawnstar?
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From Krys to Elly
**written in Elven in an artistic flowing cursive*
Bright Eye, 2 Autumn Dark 1418
My Beloved Ely-
Writing this to you as I sit on the benches overlooking Lor harbor. Should stop here more often as the view is wonderful.
Just got back from Belinara - a successful expedition with Clarissa, Rose, Omer, and Nye in which we accomplished several things. We struck at the base of a clan of lawless woodsmen; fought some air genasi and elementals who threaten passage through some hills near an important fort there; and explored another cave we recently found in another woods knows as the Kuhl Forest. Afterwards we rested at a vast stronghold known as Hilm Castle. We would have continued onward, but Nye and Omer had to depart.
Give Auhry my love and tell him I will be home soon. His coming into our lives was a true blessing, unexpected as it was. I will never forget finding our little elven lad hiding, shivering cold amongst the crates of our storage shed outside the house there at 118 Llast. It just feels so good and so right to have given him a loving home - even more so that he has come to call us his Mums and Da. He has stolen my heart, Ely - a dear son, and it means nothing to me that he is not mine by blood.
I love you so much, Ely. I long for your sweet kiss and gentle embrace, to look into your eyes so clear and pure blue as the open skies before the Darkening. You give me so much joy and inspiration, my Angel.
Until soon,
Your Krys
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From Elly to Krys
as she reads over the letter delivered to her, on the wings of a messanger falcon, she gently caresses the pages with her fingertips and then holds it closely to her heart. Then she sets it on the desk and pulls out a fresh piece of parchment.
Her thoughts taken back to the very moment when they found Auhry and how he came to mean so much to them as Nemo, has in their lives. A gentle smile upon her lips as she thinks fondly of her beloved and their beautiful family.
My Beloved, My Dearest, and My Priceless Treasure,
Not even the darkest night can take away from the blessings we share. As I sort through new ideas and plans in preperation for the school and classes to begin, I am so grateful to receive word from you that you are well and that you are with our trusted Brothers and Sisters in your travels. I can always fill you near, our bond we share a miracle in infinite love, our souls as one. I would know if all were not well, as I know you would feel it within your very soul. I take comfort every moment in feeling you with me.
We all Miss you and send you our love. We wish for a swift and safe return. To welcome you again into the warmth of our loving home again. Our hearts are with you, each and every moment. Every beating of our hearts is filled with anticipation of the moment you walk through the door and we will hold each other closely again.
With each step you walk, we are with you. Be strong for us and know we pray for your safe return. Aeridin grant you safely back into our hearts and Vorax give you the strength to overcome any obstacle that might keep you from being with us again.
All Our Love,
Your Loving Family
Elly, Auhry and Nemo
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Elohanna Dawnstar
It has now been a little over 3 months since we joined our hearts as one in the Minaret of Symphony gathered with our friends. I am no longer Elohanna Min A'Litae, but now I embrace his name. Elohanna Dawnstar. Although it seems like yesterday. We have been so blessed in many ways with the gift of true friends, brothers and sisters in spirit who have become our family and are there when we need them most. Who have given us the truest gift they could, in bringing the sunshine to our lives.
I had at first had my vows written. I had known what I was going to write. I knew it for an absolute certainty, and I still have them tucked away and will keep them as a reminder that as much as you can try to plan for life, there are always different paths our life can go and may take based upon a number of possiblities and choices we make.
Our honeymoon into the Jungles of Alibor, was beautiful, so truly soul bonding as is each moment, unlike anything I have ever felt before. The gentle caress of his soft fingertips, as I feel the beating of his heart through them. His blood flowing through his body, the lovingly way he brushes his lips against my own and holds me close. Looking into his amazingly gorgeous emerald eyes, and knowing for all eternity we will be as one.
Krys and I, Us, together with Auhry our precious elven son we found hiding around our home in Fort Llast, and Nemo our beautiful daughter. Have brought happiness into our lives. They have brought to us understanding and patience. They are such blessings with whom we can share our lives with unconditionally and unyieldingly.
Among our blessings, the school is beginning to flourish. Eli would be so proud to know that his knowledge and wisdom is being shared with those worthy. I have finally found someone who shares my love of scribing as well and he has graciously accepted the offer to become my apprentice and student in the school of magic. I could not be more thrilled.
Steel and I, have also been corresponding recently and I hope to begin his and Shiff's lessons again soon. I believe it is necessary though, as does Omer, that each student needs individual instruction so that we can understand who will need the most individualized help.
It is my hope that I can personally get to know each student, to learn who they are, their background, because I believe that knowing them will help to make the lesson's go much more smoothly, and build a connection between us. It seems some of the Angel's may also be interest in joining the school as well. Omer is also wanting us to consider a different name for the school. Something less wordy I think is his idea. Omer and Elly's School of Magic is a bit long but I wonder if he would go for something like "the enlightened."
I will just have to ask and find out what he thinks. For now its time to get back to work.
Elohanna Dawnstar
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I can sit for hours beneath the shady trees that line the banks of Corath Lake, or walk for hours in the arms of my beloved Krysthalien. My thoughts, my heart, my strength, all come to bear in one place with my family. The blessings life has given to me.
The School is a passion, it is a dream. The school has given to me a way to give back to others who wish to embrace the weave. Magic to me, is like watching the sky falling above you in a great meteor shower, while in the warm embrace of my beloved. It is a moment in time where time stands still and you know within you that you are truly at home. It is embracing the love of your family and knowing that they are all your best friends and without one of them your life is incomplete.
Many choices have come my way recently, opprotunities, if I chose to see them as such. Not any that I can make half heartedly but that if I chose, I have to know that it is because my heart is dedicated to such a cause, because I can only give my all to any road ahead of me.
I have felt so uncertain, about the road ahead though. I have felt lost in decisions and the ultimate changes they could bring and have already brought to realizing what path I am to walk in this world. To embrace the weave, to grow the school into something more, my heart would betray the lifebringer, the one who has given to me this opprotunity to be uncertain about what path I am to walk. To embrace Lucinda would be to influence my students down a path, that only their heart can make. What I wish to give them is knoweledge and understanding and the chance to make a more informed decision about their own path and the possibilities that lie ahead.
I wish to truly teach the weave, but not only the weave. I wish to have those I teach, to truly understand the passion which resides in my heart for the magic, for the knoweledge and the understanding. I teach them not for power, it is for understanding so much more beyond what we can see, but what we feel is the truth coursing through our hearts.
As much as I would love to have the backing of Lucinda, I can not. I can not turn my back on who I am, what I believe in. I can not sacrifice who I am, and I can not lie to myself. I may never understand fully what happened between Lucinda and Aeridin, and I will not push Storold into a situation that I know hurts him deeply. I hope that Tristan will understand why I must decline such a generous offer for him to speak with the church on my behalf as well.
My heart can not abandon who I am inside for a path I can not ever fully devote myself to. This is not the path I am meant to walk. There is a greater reason that I have been placed where I am, and perhaps it is that Steel has opened that door for me.
Strengthening, guiding, helping, bringing together those we can in a common way, whether it is teaching the weave to new students, building and forging alliances, or just being someones best friend when the world seems to turn its back on them, because they are different.
I can not be all to everyone, but I can be a small part of a lot of peoples lives and perhaps that is enough. Soon I will have my own small little one to focus my affections and my attention to being all I can, not only to our little one, but to my beloved, Krysthalien. Our little family. And to me what I have been granted in my life is a blessing beyond measure, to be granted this existance is truly a gift worthy of being shared with all those whose paths we cross.
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As the years come and go one thing remains the same. With time all things will change. I am not to be any different. I bend with the wind. I succumb to its will. I too grow and change. I am no exception. I am brought into the world learning the pain of loss. Losing my friends and my family. I know how it feels to have my heart broken. How could I survive in a world that seemed so desperate to see me suffering if at the end of it all it was not meant to be as the Gods will it to be?
True love would find away into my heart. Redemption would come slowly. My faith would grow once more. I look into Krysthaliens eyes and I know that all that I have been through. All of it was leading me to the moment I would be within his arms. All of it leading to the moment I would be held by him and together we would hold our beloved son Coreth.
I would again have my faith restored in the world. I would find my purpose again. I truly feel the purpose and reason I am here. Before I questioned the reasons and whys. I questioned injustice and the infinite ways in which life is unfair. I have questioned my courage and strength. I have question motivations but not only my own but those of my own friends. I have questioned the very nature of the universe. I have let for a long time doubts to rule my life and so very rarely have I truly let the blessings that have been given to me truly sink in and understand that you can not have the dark without the light. The sun must rise and the night must come.
For years now I have been gone to my homeland to raise my son among my people among our family. I have gone home to learn again what it is like to be a part of something so bonding and strong and to let my son feel that same sense of family that I have for so long pushed away.
I absolutely adore mine and Krysthaliens son Coreth and the fire within him. His bright red hair his beautiful blue eyes the beautiful smile on his deep red lips. The tatoo upon his shoulder that very rarely is seen except by those close to him that resembles in the right light the head of a dragon. I cherish the way he clings to my fingers and the way his smile captures my heart. I cherish his laughter and the way his ears are so gently pointed.
I watch him sleeping and within him I can feel he is touched by the weave but a peacefulness I often feel from his father resides within him as well. I feel blessed with this precious life Aeridin has given to us and the world. I appreciate truly the struggles I have been through to get this moment. This is where I have been. Falling more and more each moment in love with this smallest of treasures. I have fallen more in love with him each moment as I do with his father as I do with Aeridin for the gift of life.
For the past years I have lived my life trying to find something I have always had. Thank you Aeridin for all you have given me. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you.
~Elohanna Dawnstar
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It seems that in my many travels and trials during those trials that life would come to show me that without the struggles, I can not truly appreciate the moments that give me more blessings to live with than I know I deserve.
Not long ago our dear friend Quantum revealed to me among others that Krys and I are again blessed with child. Truly it hit me hard in the light of the current attacks of the vampires, and when I learned that Viera wishes to take an unborn.
I have tried hiding from her but it seems she can find me wherever I am done trying. So I try to live my life as best I can, though sometimes the fear of her hurting my child, of her using me to hurt those I love hurts sometimes to much to bear.
The school struggles to stay alive with the current adversities, Sarah and Steel, my only students. Ayana has tried to talk to me about reconsidering Digs as a student and I try to explain to her why I can not. If it were not his wish to study towards a school so much against who I am. I would be more than willing to accept him.
I had even had to refuse to teach Drea anymore, because my fear is I will only lead some towards a path she will not be able to come back from and that is something I just can't live with.
Still I am able to contribute to the school in small ways, and try to contribute as much to Rose and Steel as I can, and in doing so I have also had the opprotunity to grow in my scribing skills, keeping me much closer to home. I have successfully managed to make two seventh circle scrolls but I fear at a great expense of resource attempting to make the even more elusive ninth circle scrolls.
Krysthalien and I have also begun to come together in more ways to help each other, help our friends, and achieve our dreams. His plans, his dreams, are dreams I wish to be part of, to see come to fruition.
As the sun has begun to shine again and the dust has cleared and the cold has been replaced by a warmth very much welcome by many, still the tyranny of certain regimes threatens to bring the cold back.
The Green Dragon Cult now has reached out its hand to take hold of creatures and cause them harm in attempt to strengthen their own power. I had spoken with Omer about a plan I had but he does not like my own ideas, and though I understand him, I still wish I could do more to help.
There is so much to work towards, yet I grow tired more recently, and I think that it is just I have been working so much and our growing baby within in me is just taking more of my energy. More reason than ever to stay close to home, but also more reason to stay away.
Viera and her minions know where I live so now I see the safety of a dear friend, and to stay closer to my friends when they are near. Greenfeld may come back or again he may keep to his word and leave me be after giving him the name of the city, I just hope he isn't able to find out more information and harm Miriam.
I could continue to go on and on but I have sent word ahead that I need to meet with Trith. So much needs to be done before I set off to also meet with Sarah for her lessons.
Aeridin's blessings among the lands
Elohanna Dawnstar
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*The page is stained with tears and the writing almost scribbled instead of the elogant script normally known from the scribe*
I can't believe she is doing this to me. She has taken away the twins, now she takes away all those I love dearly. I can not give her what she wants. My heart and soul belong to him, if I loose him...I could not bare to live. If the only way for me to keep them safe is to stay away. I will...for as long as it takes.
The vial is now in my beloved hands, I pray he destroys it. I pray he understands with the bounty on my head why I stay away. I miss him so much it hurts but I can not let her use me against him.
Aeridin please keep them all safe from harm. Protect them and guide their hearts to know I am not a vampire. I could never be one of them.
*signed*
Elohanna Dawnstar
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Through faith and love my beloved and I have endured a pain none should have to live through, but I have also come to learn through my beloved that love is not for me alone, that is for us all to share, but more importantly, pain is as well.
I have learned I am not his, I am not my own, I am more than just merely a possession defined by I and we and they and she, that I exist within each moment of time a part of something larger that I can not begin to fathom.
Not even my children are my own but gifts of moments of the will of my Lord Aeridin. Though it pains my heart to have lost my beloved twin children and it is a pain shared with my belove, I must take comfort they are being cared for and watched over.
I wish I could hold them and share with them how I feel, and let them know how much I love them. But it is not time yet. Now there is a beautiful little children within me growing more and more beautiful each day and loved and cherished by her father and I, and our friends.
They have all been so watchful, so caring and helpful. This life I have been blessed with is such a wonder, and I am fortunate to share it with another beautiful life.
There is so much to tell my beloved Krysthalien and I can't wait to be held in his arms again and feel the beating of his heart.
Thank you My Lord Aeridin For All Your gifts and blessings in this life.
Elohanna Dawnstar
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In Faith we find our strength, in our struggles our weaknesses, in our hope we find our faith.
The road has not been easy to walk down without my beloved and as each day goes by without a word, I worry, I pray and I hope that he will come home to us soon.
Auhry's eyes show with a sadness that breaks my heart to watch and Coreth, even Clarisse and Nemo, are all feeling the effects of his prolongued absense from our lives. I can not begin to tell them where he is, why we have heard nothing. I can only look to our friends, and within and find strength to be there for our children.
So many things have happened in the past few months alone that have drove the happiness away from our home. I can only try to bring it back again though it is most difficult.
Though the children are fond of Auntie Ella and Uncle Kitty, there is no denying that they long for Krysthalien to return home. I would know...I would know if the worst happened. I have faith that this truth would not be denied to me with the bond that Krys and I share together.
I miss you so much Krys that each day grows more difficult to bear without you. I pray you come home soon to us.
My Beloved Fire Opal, your heart burns bright within me and will always sustain me.
Laura and now Anne will not take away all we have worked so hard to build. I will not let them. Surely the church of Toran will be able with Quantum's help be able to stop Anne from her tyrannical rantings and teach her something more than violence as a means to achieve her goals.
I am tired of fighting with her and tired of fighting just to live a peaceful life with our children. All I want to do is hold you Krys and our children again together and be at peace.
the entry is left unsigned but tucked carefully in the pages of the journal
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tucked within the pages of the journal is a letter written reminenscent of past letters from a familiar author.
My dearest Ely-
Writing this to you from our home in Llast. Seems Auhry is well. Haven't disturbed Coreth and Clarisse in the nursery.
On my return journey, I received a falcon note from Storold, asking assistance in some mining of mithril in the Deep, for Jennara's observatory project. Joined him, Alantha, Angela, and Sala.
Sala's magicks, blessings of Lucinda, did not extend to me, as Vorax continues to claim me despite my having renounced him.
Well, they explained this to me later, after I had fallen to a deadly attack from a magical spider-like beast. Its powers were akin to death magicks and only a death ward would have saved me.
The soul mother greeted me when I fell. Didn't bother me much then. I helped the others get their mithril and went my own way thereafter.
But the more I thought about it the more it bothered me, putting me in a foul mood with alot of anger. Working on some alchemy projects presently.
Just a note to let you know I have returned. Plans are to begin some travels in pursuit of my new founded interest in making potions and what not. -Krys[/b]
--
How can it be that something so tangible could touch some ones heart so profoundly? The seemingly every day words written on parchment? But when I read again over the thoughts spilled in such away it touches my heart with so much joy and there is such enormous relief to know that my beloved has returned home to his family once more.
The peace within has settled over me much as the warmth of his embrace seems to envelope my spirit and calm our children, the soft spoken way he touches my heart by the way he speaks my name, calling me his Angel. It is as if he never left, though many things have changed while we have been apart and there are many stories to share when the time is right.
While our dreams in some ways have changed, and we have both grown in our time apart, I believe the love that already exists so strongly will only serve to grow the bond between us once more.
Praise be to Aeridin for the Lifebringer has done just that. He has brought life back into our home.
~Elohanna Dawnstar
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Recently with the fallen of dear friends, Abi, Shiff, Tariana, it is starting to hit me harder that I may be the last standing. Rain is sick and I am not sure how much longer he will last without some hope to renew his will for living.
His children at odds with each other, and an on going struggle between them to see who is right, but a great sacrifice to seeing that theire father needs each of them. I had hoped reason would prevail with each but I seem them pulling further away from each other when they should be the strongest.
And now, Krys voice resounds in my own heart, that it is okay to do things for myself, that I need to find where my heart lies, if it truly with our family or helping others.
Why can't it be that I should be able to have both? My heart has always sought to help others and maybe it is because I am so close to that point in my life I may not return that I should be embracing my family the most so that they know how much I love them.
Omer has taken charge of the school and the auction is almost at its end. The school will live on and the dream with it. The Council of Hope, perhaps has lost its Hope with our fallen brother and with our friends scattered to the winds.
To give up almost feels as if I am pushing more and more people away, even my beloved who I love more than life itself. I love him so much I don't want his dream to fade away.
The day comes when soon I will return and I will hold my children in my arms and be there for them as I should have been. The day comes closer when my own life will be reduced to memories that will fade in time.
Everyone is changing around me, asking me to stop taking on so much. To slow down and do things for myself, to spend more time with my family. Clarisse needs me, Coreth and Auhry miss me deeply. Am I destined to leave them as my parents did me. Or is it time that I simply fade into the memories of friends and finally find my place among those I turned away from so long ago?
I know Krysthalien's family will embrace as they always have, but what of the others of our homeland? Please be my guiding light again Krysthalien. I need you so much.
~Elly
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Am I so far distant from those I love, that I find it easier each day to walk away from the conflicts, or am I just that tired, of not being listened to?
I have to let them make their own decision, I have to find my own path. I can not be the one they wish me to be anymore. Our thoughts and way of thinking so different, I no longer care for them to convince me they are right.
It is not that I am closed minded, but I see through eyes not filled with the same lust for blood shed. I could not even argue with my brother any longer. I think that Muhk took things to the extreme with the guards, though he is a brother of the guild, invited into the family, I can not agree, in my heart with his actions and he should have to answer for them.
Why is it that the simple truths lie so hidden to the masses? Why is it that Aeridin's blessings go unnoticed in what we have been given, that we always seek more than we need and seek to take life away from others so that ours may continue on in comfort? I am not sure that anyone could understand how I feel right now.
Clarisse and Coreth, Auhry and Nemo, and of course Krysthalien, are right now the only bright spot in my life. If something were to happen to them. I vow to watch over them should Aeridin call me home, though I pray that he gives me the time to watch my family grow. Clarisse has the most angelic face, her beautiful blue eyes as if reaching into my soul to calm me when I need it most. Her red hair set on fire like her fathers. I can only imagine the woman she will become and I wish to be there to watch her grow.
Coreth is truly starting to become more and more like his father, or perhaps it is just that unending ability to replenish energy that toddlers seem to have. I am glad that Nemo seems to have the same hidden energy and helps me to keep up with them all.
Auhry has been so much happier with Krys and when they are together the light seems to shine from his spirit. Aeridin please keep our family safe and happy and whole.
~Elly
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His name is Elinmire, but he allows me to call him Eli. He has bushy white beard and overgrown mustache, the kind eyes, and understanding demeanor. He is an old man, knowledgeable in many things, and one who I have allowed myself to be drawn in by. He reminds me so much of myself, and of Eli, of a past of fond memories.
His first spell to learn was light, and his familiar a mischievous pixie, Lae Anne, much like my own, Lianna. Their journey together, fascinating and not all that surprising to hear and I know by watching them they would fight to save each others lives. His voice, his presence and his understanding of the weave, the compassion, and the warmth of him, I am very much drawn to.
I am not sure anyone but he would understand why I hold to him so dearly and think of him as a friend, a confidant. I know he is not my Eli, and that perhaps I am holding to tightly to a memory, letting that warmth and comfort come back to me in a time when I thought I had let go of Eli
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His name is Elinmire, but he allows me to call him Eli. He has bushy white beard and overgrown mustache, the kind eyes, and understanding demeanor. He is an old man, knowledgeable in many things, and one who I have allowed myself to be drawn in by. He reminds me so much of myself, and of Eli, of a past of fond memories.
His first spell to learn was light, and his familiar a mischievous pixie, Lae Anne, much like my own, Lianna. Their journey together, fascinating and not all that surprising to hear and I know by watching them they would fight to save each others lives. His voice, his presence and his understanding of the weave, the compassion, and the warmth of him, I am very much drawn to.
I am not sure anyone but he would understand why I hold to him so dearly and think of him as a friend, a confidant. I know he is not my Eli, and that perhaps I am holding to tightly to a memory, letting that warmth and comfort come back to me in a time when I thought I had let go of Eli
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In my lifetime it may seem only a blink of an eye, years have passed since I have stepped foot into the city of Port Hempstead. It was worth it though to regain my family, to devote my heart to them, to my precious children, to their grandparents, to my beloved Krysthalian. I have never felt more at peace or more apart of a greater picture, though it may seem a small picture. These years can never be regained with my family, and I would never wish to miss a moment of their lives.
I have been able to regain my focus, and my direction, and keep in touch with Grandfather, and Jaelle as well. I have even been able to give Jaelle her key to the school after speaking with Timulty. She has chosen a beautiful office, and if Timulty gets angry I will take the fall out from it, Gladly. She is a welcome addition. I will also have to get with Grandfather soon and make sure he has his key as well, and then I can begin to find students for them both.
Jaelle also mentioned that Caerwyn has shown an interest in the ways of the Al'noth. I can't think of a better person I would love to teach, and hopefully soon Drakus too will wonder his way back towards the school and I can see how he has progressed since the simple spells he had mastered under my direction. He is a great student, and I am glad he chose to persue the path.
So much is to happen, and each day a new beginning to be embraced.
Elohanna Dawnstar
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I believe in my own lifetime I could never betray the love I have for my family, for our friends, though it has been a constant struggle at times to keep my own mind from focusing on the loss, I can not imagine what it would be like if I had not come to terms with those happenings, and embraced what I do have in my life all the more, for how precious every moment is.
Seeing Alatriel again and understanding how much she has been through has reminded me of myself going through the struggles, and how much Ranewin was there for me when I needed her most. A true friend who wasn't judgemental when I was seeking to find true love and a friend who would listen with understanding. I know Alatriel needs this in her life as much as I did, as much as Alatriel does.
Now she has a new blessing in her life, though unplanned and unintended, and Razariem it seems is the father, and should be no less embraced. I think once she holds her child she will come to terms with the miracles the Lifebringer gives us, and find in herself a new gift rather than the reminder of betrayal that it signifies right now to Aerimor.
Aeridin is never without giving us gifts, nor taking them away without a reason that in the end will make us much better people simply for sharing our lives with those around us. I believe he has given me a chance to share this insight now with the next generation so they may appreciate the sacrifices given to ensure they are safe and happy, and have the chance to understand the world through our wisdom.
Alatriel has asked me to speak with Zain, to impart on him, the greatness of the man that Goldwin was and how without his sacrifice, how he would not be here. She thinks he is old enough to finally understand. And though I do not know Zain as she does, I believe this is a great opprotunity to be there to share with him. Tegan also comes to mind as she was very close to him, and understood him even perhaps more than I did.
Blessed by the Lifebringer,
Elohanna Dawnstar
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It has been nice being back home again, and finally returning to routine, with a different perspective on life as a whole. Though the perspective seems to be my own.
I have met with Ranewin again and I am not sure how her and Omer are doing, thought I do know that Omer needs to get his act together if he truly wishes to marry her. He needs to settle down. He is no longer a child, though he is young and handsome. He needs to think of her too.
I have had help from my dear friend Caerwyn and Tod, also to collect much needed sawdusts to start to work on making greater parchments for my scribing collection, though sadly, I am not the greatest at them yet, my cooking still needs to progress significantly, I am striving to increase my knowledge of the art again and share my knowledge obtained throughout the years with those who need it most.
This brings me to another blessing that has recently come about with Steel's help the school is now ready for the Grand Opening, the only think left to do is to post the posters and send out invitations to those who wish to come. This is an opprotunity to clarify the position of the schoo, that there is no tuition costs and that it is open to everyone who wishes to learn more of the Al'noth and more of other areas as the requests come in. I do not plan to turn away any students but it is obvious the focus will be the ways of the Al'noth.
Things are shaping up nicely and I am most grateful to my dear friends for helping so much.
~Elohanna Dawnstar
-
Recently many things have come to weigh heavily on my mind, my recent encounter with Lady Rothsford, and her attempts to enchant me for not allowing her to freely have the support and backing of the Tower Academy are the most troublesome. It seems I have stepped over the Councilors of the Academy due to such influence from her as was never my intentions. I have become a weak minded liability to the school and though Omer wishes to convince me otherwise I must admit that I am worried all the more that she will use me against them.
I have also spoken with Jennara about clearing up with the Church of Rofeirine the past that still haunts me, for my actions against Aerimor and Jaelle and more the innocent child of Jaelles who I almost caused the death of, though my intentions at the time were to protect her.
It has also come to my attention through a request of Miss Endar and Omer's own advice that there is a great many things that should I pass away would be lost forever, and that I should write them down to preserve a past that can only be understood through the eyes of one who has lived through it.
I admit I have never been asked to write more that scrolls of the Al'noth, and flyers here and there, but to leave a history behind is very appealing to me. It is a chance for my own insights to be shared and hopefully appreciated for their value and worth. I will begin soon to gather the parchments and my thoughts and begin to preserve them for the Aragenites. I hope they find them worthy.
~Elohanna Dawnstar
-
Although written in the unmistakeable scripting of a practiced elven scribe the page is smeared in some places where it appears that water has hit, what could either be the drops of rain, or more than likely the tears of a torn soul.
My Dearest Krysthalien,
For long you have been my treasure, for long you have granted to me your soul, your patience, your love, admiration and understanding. You have given truly to me that which I do not deserve. You have seen how my spirit was tortured by the loss of my dear friend Melanna, you have seen me through my struggle when I thought I had lost you through the passage of long journeys without a single word, and you rejoiced with me when we again rejoined and became one once more.
I have seen you through the struggles of your soul, your fall from Vorax, and understood the gentleness in your touch more deeply than any could possibly. Long have we tried to bring that same happiness to our friends. The same honesty and love, and our dreams to each other unlike any could ever understand. You have held me and cried with me through the loss of our beloved children and together we finally gained the understanding that within this universe nothing is certain, nothing is more precious than embracing each moment in this world completely, and loving completely with all our heart. Never once have you tried to change me, only have you tried to open my eyes to the truth that we do not belong to each other. We do not belong to any, but that we belong to each moment in time.
We are for better or worse simply meant to be. My Dearest Fire Opal, it is most difficult for me to say this but I have seen it as much in your eyes as you have in mine, that our love has changed with the distance. Though it is still within my heart as vibrant a flame as will ever be. I can not lie to you anymore than I can to myself any longer. There has always been a love deep in my soul that I have been unable to shake, and with the last of my efforts I can no longer deny. To do so is to lie to myself, to you, our children, and our friends. I simply can not. My dearest love please understand that my heart is bound by the truth and a deep respect for the honesty we share. I would say that I have fallen in love but I would be again lying to a great many people including myself.
But it is not that I have fallen but that I am still very much deeply in love with Omer and I can no longer deny how I feel. It has gotten such that it hurts to deny how I feel and to live the lie I can not, though I know surely it will hurt you and our children and myself. The truth must be spoken or it will consume me in the lies of the spirit.
I don't know what is to become of this situation only that the truth has to be told. I plan to return home soon and spend some time with you and our children. I am lost right now in so many thoughts, what the gravity of this means to us both, and what it may do to our marriage.
There is no doubt I love you and there is no doubt I love our children, and I will do anything for our family.
~Elly
-
I went to seek out Ben and met Tyra along the way, I wanted to let them know that I need to travel back to see Krys but I could not begin to get the words out before our journey took us deep into the spider cave of the Silkwoods and not long after our friends began to depart. I am very relieved in some ways, as it was not much longer with my thoughts so distracted that I ran into Omer, outside of Krandor.
I heard his words as he looked into my eyes with a love that I knew had been there long since I confessed my own feelings for him over 50 years ago. I told him I had wrote a letter to Krys, one I had not yet sent. I told him how I could not lie to Krys and he understood as his own heart would dare not lie to Ranewin. He told me though before I sent the letter that he had a confession he must make, one that at first stung but then understanding our the love between us was easier to accept and understand than I thought it would be. It has never mattered to us before to hold to such traditions as marriage, our bond is anything but traditional.
We went for a long walk together and finally found ourselves at the lake overlooking Haven, where we spent the night holding to each other, and doing what we had never allowed ourselves to do before. To open and finally love each other without restraint. I know if Melanna would see us she would scowl at me at first but then She would be smiling that finally we are together as it should have been.
I still must travelto to see Krys, but I no longer wear our ring. I no longer hide how much I love Omer. I no longer hide the truth. The hardest part of this is not in admitting how I feel but in trying my hardest not to break the hearts of those I love more than anything. Clarisse, Coreth, Auhry, Nemo, and Krys. I pray they will understand. I pray they will know in my heart I love them always. My Love for our children will never change. My Love for Krys and what he has meant in my life will always be, but I must make a choice and follow my heart truly.
-
I am foolish. as simple as that. I traveled with Ben, Essa and Tod and fell in the troll caves of Dregar. I fell because of my own foolishness to prove I am more capable than I am thought of most times.
I fell and Essa was there to bring me back, to learn hopefully from my mistakes, but when I fell, I felt a part of my soul being torn away. A peace that I can never gain back. It hit me as if it never has before. It hit me that at that moment I was about to do the same to Krys after he had freely given me a peace of his own soul, the day we married. I love Krys so much that it hurts to think of what I am going to do to him is as awful as if I tore his own soul from him.
Aeridin you have brought his life to my own, you brought us together. I made a promise to Krys to love him forever. I promised him I would always be his Angel. I promised. My promises I have vowed never to break to those I love. My promises are why I am trusted. To break a promise so sacred. I can't. I am not sure I can.
I do love Omer though as much as deeply as I do Krys. I can not deny how I feel for them both. I can not deny that the way Omer makes me feel when I am near him is that I am more treasued and loved and wanted. What am I to do?
-
Each moment I spend with Omer, I have grown even closer with him. We both can hardly believe what is happening between us, or that it is really happening. We cherish each moment spent together and wish nothing more than to keep each other closer and safe. Each day I fall more in love with him and I just want to keep him close to me.
I truly don't want to hurt Krys, even after the promise I have made to him, but this feels to me as if it was always meant to be. I can feel that my own heart is changing, that I am changing and I need to take this step before I try to convince myself that I can not.
-
Omer has been incredible and amazing, patient and very supportive, just has he has always been. I told him how I felt about how I was worried what he thought, that after breaking my promise to Krys that he may worry I would do the same to him.
He quickly alleviated my worries though, and as we looked into each others eyes, he told me how our love was based not on promises but on Truths. He is right. Never have we held each other to radiculous expectations, we have always stood behind each other no matter what our faults and accepted each other regardless.
He also told me that he will not put on a show in front of others, and that he is not one to display how he feels for the satisfaction of making others know. I have to understand how he feels because he is Omer. He is not like any other I know and thankfully it is one of the reasons I love him so much.
Now comes the hard part, people are going to ask and they are going to talk and I feel compelled to put it out in the open that Omer and I together. I won't hide how I feel for him. Our love is based on truths, not lies, and not deceptions. Those days are over. I am not going to hide behind what the others may think as if Lareth is any indication, I believe the family will be accepting and understanding. I rather the world know on my terms though rather than through a rash of rumors flying around.
It is simple and plan to see. I Love Omer, and the little things that make him so much more different from anyone else I know. I feel as if my heart is so much more free and unburdened now that what needed to be said between us has and we are together as it should have been so long ago.
-
Krysthalien, has brought the children home at my request as I can not be without them. Clarisse, Coreth, Auhry, and Nemo are beautiful children.
Clarisse is now 21 in human years yet she is still so small and innocent and full of youth. She hardly speaks to me and I can see in her eyes how upset she is that her father and I have seperated. I can not blame her for being upset, I only hope in time that she will understand.
Her brother Coreth, now 27 and still not much older, both of them with the fiery red hair of their father and my blue eyes, steal my heart and hold me with a love that I could not bare to be without. The pain in his eyes is unmistakeable and brings me tears.
Auhry is by all estimates around 50 human years old, and growing to be such a responsible and helpful man. He has taken up his father's path and study of the body, mind and spirit. I am very proud of all the children and who I can see them becoming each day. Auhry though has been a constant reassurance. I think he understands more than the younger two how painful this has been.
Krys, has not said a word to me though and I can feel and see how hard it is for him that I have made this choice. I would never deny him his children nor can I deny the pain I feel for having made this choice. I have made it though and there is no way to undo it.
It is as if a thick and unmistakeable pain has fallen over the house, and perhaps the feeling is only my own knowing what I have done. I can not deny how i feel though for Omer.
Nemo spends a lot of time with the other children, being a gaurdian over them all. The distance over the years as I travel back and forth between their home and Mistone, has surely taken its toll on our family. But I have to hold hope that we will survive this trial.
-
Traveling with Omer, has been more than I expected, he has become more open with me. It is as if for a long time he kept parts of himself hidden from me, and now I am beginning to truly see them with open eyes.
I always knew he was brilliant, which he still denies. He is also very protective and caring. He is also very cute and handsome, especially when he smiles. He really should smile all the time. I do love the way his lips feel against my own, though there isn't anything I do not love about him.
He has asked me to go on a trip with him to help aid them in Voltrex and it seems the rest of the group believes I would be a welcome addition, so I will go to lend what aid I can, and protect my beloved as much as I can.
It seems that Storold also wishes for me to take a dark elf under my wing as a student, but I can not do so, atleast not under the umbrella of the Tower Academy. It would go against the laws of the city and since she is not allowed within the confines due to those laws, I will have to provide instruction on my own. Her name Tyillaan, seems shy and hurt as if she has been through a great deal in her life. My heart goes out for her no matter what race she is, as no one should be treated as harshly as she has been.
That is if her story holds up, I have sent a letter to Wren and await word to verify her story rather than blinding opening up my arms to one who may just be waiting for a moment to turn my faith in people against me, or my friends.
I guess that is what scares me, that my teaching may ultimately lead to her betrayal and inborn instincts surfacing, but to deny her may do the same.
I do not like this situation but I will try my utmost to do what is right and follow my heart as I have for so long. Zergon was not bad at least he did not seem to be though I have not seen him in a very long time.
For now until I hear word, I will focus on enchanting gems and keeping touch with those students that I do have under my instructions. Barry, though I haven't heard from him since his initial inquiry, and Ben.
I have also gone back to my original name, I do not feel it right to carry the name of Dawnstar given the situation and the way my heart feels. I will always within be Elohanna Min A'Litae and perhaps that is all I can be. Simply Myself, and hope that it is enough.
-
I have actually become quite good at enchanting, it is almost like it is something I was meant to do. Though it takes alot of work and patience, not to mention the true that goes into the enchanting oils and gems themselves, and the crystal rods, gems of various kinds and flour. Its good to know flour is useful for more than just cooking.
On a sadder note, the soul mother has visited me again. This bothers me and has me again thinking about my life, and what I would leave behind in my life. Who I would leave behind. My Children most importantly. They spend a great deal of time with their father and grand parents. I want them to make the decision of our people based on something I never truly had, when I was their age.
I also admit that this sculpture that Razariem wishes to do of me. His attempt to capture my soul. He sees me different than most have ever tried to. He says I should not say sorry. That for a week I should try to because I say it so often. That I should do things for me because I want to, not would always make others happy. He thinks I take the blame for things I should not, because it is the only attention I know how to get. How can I make him understand that it is my choices, that cause me to take the blame. Are just me owning up for what I have done.
Omer too, believes that I should grow a thicker skin when dealing with people, that I should not let my feelings be hurt so easily. He says he has had visions of the school being a center of great debates, I don't see that I would be participating in those though. I don't see it. I have passionate views certainly but to be able to defend my own stance, and keep my resolve, without growing flustered and walking away. I don't like arguing and that is what it seems like to me. I am more of a mediator than a debator, I try to resolve conflicts by hearing both sides and then passing judgements.
Omer also has agreed that Razariem can do his sculpture of me, though truly I don't know why he deams me worthy over any other. It seems he has already done one of his sister Zarianna and one of Jaelle. Razariem has this uncanny ability to see into people and has the ability also to tell them the truth without hurting their feelings. I also hate what Jaelle has done in keeping him away from their child, sadly though I have no control over it.
On a brighter note I have seen Alatriel and she seems to be doing fine mostly, something is bothering her though. It was good to see her, and even travel with her through the Sharawoods near Fort Miritrix. Along with Razariem, Chakar, Vrebel and Tralek. I am still unsure what to think of Vrebel and Tralek. Chakar has also offered to make any scrolls I need, he says he knows them all, but I feel more comfortable learning them on my own, than having such just thrust upon me. There is something more rewarding. It also gives me a better understanding to be able to adapt each to my own style.
It just seems to me humans are to much in a hurry to learn things that are better taken slowly and truly understood for their worth, rather than the status it gives them. The Al'noth, atleast to me, seems to be under appreciated, even by those I consider friends. It also struck me odd as well that Razariem questions my choice of friends, though I think he refers to one, and that is Caerwyn. I haven't truly talked to Caerwyn in a long time, and it seems I am growing more away from some friends I once thought I could confide in, and finding new friends.
Tod for instance, was most recently a comfort to me, when something Angela and Alantha unsettled my stomach. I don't know if it was so much the thought of someone actually eating mind flayers that turned me in knots or the thought of mind flayers just reminding me how vulnerable my mind is. The thought is truly disturbing to me.
Speaking with Omer too recently, He said he was trying to discover what was truly causing me to be upset, as I had not been myself. It is so many things that trouble me but I think at the core of it all, its just that I have been holding back, I have been compromising, and though I feel things I keep them inside so that I don't hurt anyone. It seems the only one hurting because of it though is me. So I told Omer that there was a question I wanted to ask him that since he would not ask it, maybe I should. He kept probing me, and though I tried to explain that I felt it would not be right given what I know of him, he kept asking. Truths kept coming back to my thoughts, the foundation of us. So I told him, and instead of simply saying yes or no, He kissed me, like I know he knew I needed to be, but left me only more confused.
What will happen from here I am not entirely sure, but each step needs to be walked with the utmost care. I need to speak from my heart, and I need to stop backing down on my own emotions, my own feelings to always please everyone else. Elohanna Min A'Litae, should be a beacon of strength. I am a formidable wizard. But the part to overcome is lacking the confidence to prove it.
-
The Path of the Claw
The nagging feeling surfaced again as I journeyed through the hammerbounds with Amgine. His request for help was not one that I could deny. I could not begin to realize though what it would mean for many of our companions, as well as me.
This was not so simple as just retrieving a journal, but of finding within ourselves the capacity to do what was right, that though the call was strong, it was a path that only one of us truly belonged on.
I could feel the nagging there in the back of my head luring me to betray my friends, to even at one point so much as consider helping those drawn after the ultimate power at the end.
The green dragon cult vastly more prepared and powerful an enemy than any of us could begin to understand. I had time in the void to consider what had happened though a brief glimpse, it opened my eyes to the truth, of myself, of my companions, that inherent within each of us, is a will to wish for more than we can have. I, too wished for something that I had no need of, that I would have let my friends fall, and taken what I thought to truly be my own.
The path is powerful even to my mind which is more often then not clear. Even with the spell to help keep me safe from such pulls. I was no more safe than Argali as she charged our enemy setting off a reaction that caused many of us to fall. I can not fault her though for following her convictions, if that is truly what was going on. I don't remember much after her charge before I woke, shaken by the events as I looked at Jennara.
And then I watched as Amgine continued through the portals, at first I was drawn to follow him, but also to help those to keep the journal safe. I should have followed him though it would have been at great risk to the others who had chosen to return but instead I followed the others to return with them. We had chosen to follow out of the cavern through the way the water had seemed to come, only as I swam through the caverns, everything turned black and I found myself in the void familiar to death.
I could have simply used my tome to leave, but instead I chose to stay with those who could use my help, in case they needed me. I do not regret this decision, I am only glad that another piece of my soul was not taken away.
-
The Young at Heart
It has come to me recently that instead of waiting for the old to grow older that I need to live for what my heart desires, what has always been my path. I find myself moving towards the young, to reach out and help them in anyway I can. To protect perhaps as I have not been able to do with the distance that has grown between my own children and I.
It is not to say I do not love my own children any less but that I need this. I need to admit that I was not ready, perhaps that is something Omer was waiting for me to discover, that in my rush to have a family. I have hurt a great many people along the way. My own selfish desires hurting Ranewin, hurting Omer, Krysthalien and our children.
Perhaps that is why I find myself trying my utmost to protect the newest generation to try to make up for my own mistakes, to teach them so they do not make the same. If they will listen that is.
It also weighs heavy on my mind too that even though I believe in what my beloved Lifebringer stands for, even my own heart, my own beliefs are starting to change. In my travels most recently it has been very much pointed out to me by Amgine of how much I have strayed away from his will. I never thought I would say it, I never thought I would betray him. But I do not feel as connected as I once did to his teachings.
I have been focusing recently, on doing what I can to help where I can, perhaps in a desperate attempt not to be forgotten, that I have strayed from my beloved lifebringer, to try to satisfy something missing. I just can't quite figure out what it is that has caused me to begin to push him away.
I will put each foot in front of the other for now and continue to try to sort through these thoughts one at a time. To continue my teachings of Ty and Ben, and meditate on these new revelations as I can.
Elly
-
I did something I never thought I would do, something that has me wondering how Krys would feel if he knew. The decision is mine though, and I have allowed Tyillaan to stay at the house in Fort Llast.
Though I wanted to keep it a secret, I have had to come out and let Razariem know, as he saw her poking around the house. He had not at first realized she was coming out of it. Since they both have a key though, it would be a rude awakening for either to be met with unpleasant surprises and Razariem has agreed to keep it a secret. She is my student and I feel it in the best interest to try my utmost to help her feel more comfortable with herself and her abilities.
I want her to know that though she has been through a lot due to her own kind, that she need not fear everyone. She is a bright student and for the most part just needs the confidence in herself to be successful in her goals.
I went outside of the realm of her normal studies to give her a special assignment, one that I know will take her time. One I hope that she will truly think about and come to the same conclusion that I have. That is, that her uniqueness will in essense shape and define her and her use of the Al'noth and further her understanding of what she can do with that strength as an arcane archer. That is perhaps the best lesson she can ever learn from me.
On another note, Shiff has asked me to teach him elven, and while I have tried before to teach one other, I admit my skills in teaching are lacking significantly in how to approach such an endeavor. I suppose part of me is still a bit upset at how he handled learning magic from me, but perhaps in learning elven it will come easier for us both. I believe I just need to allow myself to push past my own insecurities, in this regard. What comes natural for me because of my past is not always easy to explain to another.
We also had a very serious talk recently about him acting no better than those he sets out to cause harm towards. I think I may have actually reached some part of him. Time will tell, but I think he is considering some points I may have made.
Omer also told me that he is leaving for a while, he will be gone on trips quite a bit, and I may only see him on occassion. I will miss him dearly, as I miss him now. My heart longs for him to be near.
I think the best thing that I can hope to accomplish to is to keep myself busy with the school, so as to make it easier. I hope. I wish he did not have to go away so often.
-
Temporary, the word sticks to my tongue, hoping that Omer will change his mind, and I have made it a habit while adjusting of affixing it to my letters that I send out on behalf of the Tower Academy.
I now have to make the decision of who is to replace me, and that entails putting up a posting for my position which I have been very hesitant to do. The truth is the students I feel are my duty to protect and care for. Each and every one of them in my charge. As the Headmistress, perhaps I do not need to replace my position but rather, set expectations for the Councilors and let them have the leway to do their job as they have been assigned. Perhaps I should gain their feedback on what they feel their assignments are expected and fill positions from there.
It is time again that I review the applications and make a list of their strengths, so that I can determine where our weakness lie. There is much to be done so that the school can thrive, and I have to own this dream if it is to succeed.
In my own abilities it feels almost as if I have learned all I can from the scrolls and books I have read, and I can accomplish anything I set my mind and heart to. I just never thought when I left home so long ago, that I would find myself in a position such as Headmistress of the Tower Academy. Perhaps Eli did and that is why he shown me so much of what was beyond Voltrex.
-
Not so temporary, it no longer sticks to my mind, what does however stick to my mind however is that Omer suggests that holding the title of headmistress makes communication among the rest of the staff almost impossible. I am out on a mission to prove him wrong.
I have asked that locks be changed and he has obliged, I have tried so far to give keys out based on those I know are active and have been able to communicate with me. I hate that I have to go to this length but I am trying to make sure all of those under the schools charge are aware how important working with me is.
I simply can not have a staff that is not accountable, and does not respect me enough to speak with me when something is on their minds. I am very much considering ridding the school of Councilor positions, unless there is a justifiable reason to keep them.
Otherwise as headmistress, really I only see the need for the Headmistress and teachers. I am also slowly catching up with my own students and their studies and pulling them back to me to focus on where they have progressed.
Ben is the first and his thoughts of dispelling and counterspelling are surprising. I know he has truly taken to heart my request of him to provide me a list of spells and their counterspells and gone again beyond the level of what I have asked, and actually asked other questions on his own.
I am constantly amazed with his depth of thought and understanding and I do hope that he is successful in becoming a great wizard.
I have also sent a letter recently to Shiff, to continue his language lessons, as I feel we have lost a short of connection, and I hope that within the next few days we can meet.
Ms Ty however is another story. I have rarely seen her to understand how she is doing, though when I am at home in meditations, I can hear screams ring throughtout the house. Something is troubling her and I soon need to talk to her. Perhaps I can be of some comfort for her.
-
I can't help but feel very thrilled with Caerwyn accepting me as his student to learn the ways of the Arcane Archer, nor can I begin to fathom the road that I am leading myself down.
He has already begun to teach me basics, that I am trying to commit to memory as best I can.
Important things to note:
Stirge feathers should never ever be shot at undead. I can only imagine it is like instilling negative energy upon them and it will only serve to heal them. Stirge feathers drive with force though and with other foes it can zap the life on impact.
Falcon feather fly exceedingly true and pierce a target.
Raven feathers make the arrows wobble slightly in flight and are more designed to bludgeon than pierce its target.
Owl feathers, will slash the target rather than pierce.
He says I must choose a general purpose point to use, such as copper or bronze. I have also started to gather molds so that I may learn to make my own points rather than relying on others.
I have also learned that the priorities of an archer, should be Aim, Arrows and Bow. Make sure that your Aim is true, the arrows are suited to the target and equipped, and then the bow is ready to recieve the arrows.
I have also learned that tactics are very important to an archer, because as soon as they begin to fire, attention is drawn to them almost immediately, so it is very important to move constantly. To know when to stop and let the fighters do as they are meant to do, and change targets as needed.
I admit my mind is going numb from all the intracies involved with mastering my bow, but if I am to become a true archer in every sense of the word and not just randomly and idling launching arrows. I truly must know it inside and out.
I am very grateful that Caerwyn is the one teaching me, as he has a great deal of patience and we have always been good friends. I think he will be happy to know I have been taking his leasons to heart and that I am serious about learning.
-
In my persuit to be come one of the elite group of arcane archers, I have made two boxes of small molds, and about 1800 hickory shafts. That is all I have managed to gather truly so far. I have been thinking that I need to take some time alone, to clear my head. So I think I will go mining for copper and tin and practice trying to make my own bronze for arrowheads.
No one will really know where to find me, and I am not sure right now that I want to talk to anyone. I just need to clear my thoughts from the recent events in the Tower Academy, as it seems that most everyone thinks I am on a power trip.
I don't think they understand how much this academy means to me and seeing it succeed and if all that gets done is bickering among a committee to hire staff, if councelors can not do their job, and teachers are not hired because faculty members can't be bothered, then what will happen to the Academy, it will surely whither away and fail like previous attempts in Port Hempstead and I simply can not let that happen.
I have posted up the results of the current responsibilities of the Councelors so maybe now they can begin to take action as they should. I have asked the teachers just to check in once a month.
Events that have been suggested are a night of duels, arcane archery lectures, but I also feel it would be beneficial to the students if the teachers could also write a paper about their preferred subject and their insights, the students can gain insight from them as well.
This wasn't mentioned though, I was so enthused going into this meeting but again because of my own failure to communicate, and trying to express the views of others who were not there, I was not able to even do that. I just need some time to regroup, and to think things through.
-
I have still not heard nothing from Timulty, not that I can say I am surprised. I think he has made his decision and has no care to bother with me. I thought we were friends and had a similar goal in mind. I am finding it increasingly difficult to trust in anyone to help see the academy succeed accept for Omer. I know he understands how important this is to me.
My lessons in arcane archery are at a stand still, as I have not had much chance to speak with Caerwyn, but perhaps that is for the best as I continue to learn the art of making arrows, and practice improving my aim.
I have learned the art of smelting some ores myself, and have grately improved my wood working skills, well. Greatly is exxagerated depending on perspective as I am better than when I started. I can do more now than just simply cut branches from trees, and have begun to make my own arrows. I think Ben believes I could even make bows at some point. He has been very encouraging in my newest journey, and I can't help but wonder if it is because part of him really does still love me more than just the friend he pretends to be.
Not long ago I saw Ranewin, flirting with Razariem. They beautiful together as if they belonged and it made my heart long for Omer and his arms to be wrapped around me. I don't know what to say to Ranewin anymore. I do not even know what to say to Razariem. It seems that those I call friends are drifting away, or perhaps I am pushing them away. I love them but I...I feel as if I am no longer apart of their world any longer.
Omer is the only one who seems to understand me and pull me back whenever I feel this way. I hope that he returns soon as I miss him beyond words. I have made him a few new scrolls to learn from, and left them in his chest so hopefully he will return soon and wrap his arms around me while I sleep. I long to wake up to the gentleness of his own nose touching mine softly as he gazes into my sleepy eyes and his beautiful smile that makes the rest of the world just seem not to matter at all.
-
The simple truth is that this vision was built with the help of many but the ultimate work behind it fell on Omer's shoulders and my own to bring to life. The Tower Academy has been an institution we have worked long and hard for, and through Steels support, Lady Saida, and Omer it exists for the students.
Yes I do have to make decisions, because now the dream will stand or fall based on decisions being made. The simple truth, someone has to be willing to take the dream onto their own shoulders and carry that weight. Someone has to protect it and as its my dream. I hold it dear and very close to my own heart.
The students are to be protected and I will see that they are, the teachers are to enlighten the minds and mold them in such ways that the vision of the Al'noth is understood for all its glory. But the foundation of the school rests with the vision it began upon and no other could truly understand the gravity of that vision. Much as the Council of Hope could not exists without Krys to carry it forward.
Recently in my travels to Alibor, I realized that part of me still very much misses Krys, and that I have abandoned my children. My thoughts have gone back to the time spent overlooking the falls, with his arms wrapped around me. The moments that he spent with him and how our thoughts seemed to speak so much from our hearts and knew what the other was feeling, completing each others thoughts. I wonder if it is his way of touching my heart, and letting me know he still loves me too, even though both of our hearts are still breaking from my decision. I still carry his ring around my neck, and hope that I will never loose that love nor that my children will. I believe that when Clarisse is older, I would like to pass down this cherished part of her father to her. I love my children so much and hope that each of them will one day understand why I have made choices I have.
Along with my choices, my study of the art of Arcane Archery progress, to some extent anyway. I am slowly beginning to understand the finer arts or woodworking as I study turning branches of oak and hickory into arrows. It is a very difficult task to master and thanks to Ben, it has been much easier. I am almost wishing though that I had not so much help as I am slowly feeling as though, the work is not my own and not as fullfilling as I hoped it would be. I will keep working as hard as I can though and try to limit the help I receive. I am sure that Ben will understand. I love him dearly but it feels as though this I need to do on my own to truly appreciate.
Caerwyn and I keep missing each other, limiting our ability to progress my studies further, I know he is trying and so am I but perhaps until our paths can come together again I can continue to progress as much as I can on my own.
Did I mention many things have happened of late that have given me pause, with the Leringard Inn decemated by fire, I have found myself with two new roommates. Sir Argos and Elivyan. I am truly happy to have them in the house with me as it has brought much more life to the home that seemed to stand still each night, now there are the sounds of feet wondering the halls, comings and goings and laughter and love that have found its way back into a place that I used to consider nothing more than a stopping place and for lack of a better word. A warehouse. Now Ty, Argos, Elivyan, Alazira make it feel like a home I am glad to step in again.
What will happen next I am unsure but I will accept and take whatever comes next with as much courage and conviction as I can.
-
Neatly tucked and safely secured in the folds of a very old and well taken care of diary, a letter is placed carefully, with the lyrics of a song. The pages placed magically in such a way that they would not slip free of the book to help keep them preserved.
To:
Elohanna Min A'Litae
Care of the Tower Academy
Port Hempstead Municipal District
Port Hempstead
Kingdom of Brelin
Mistone
Angel. I enjoyed waking to you watching me, and our morning together. I'm sorry about my cooking, and the burnt toast and that stuff I called tea. I applaud your bravery in the face of my breakfast!
I confess to being very mixed up, as I feel you must be, about what we're doing. Or very carefully not doing. My heart still belongs to another, and so does yours. And yet - you soothe me. You feel like shelter, when I need that so much. And I know what stirs in my chest is more than a pat on your hand, or a chaste hug in times of need.
Time was, I would jump into your embrace and not look back. And I still want to - stars and song, I want to. But, I have to be honest. If she were to walk back into my life, I could not resist her any more than I can resist breathing. I wouldn't even want to. I think it might be the same for you and your Omar, yes?
So...do we offer each other shelter, with that caveat? Do we accept that there might be need to share our hearts, each of us? I can, and will, but you may not be as comfortable with that. I would lean back with a cheery smile and say we're "just friends" but...I felt you next to me, in the night, and I'm only glad you were spooning my back and not the other way around or I'd have been a great deal more embarassed than just my usual morning issues and your giggling about tents.
I put it before you and in your slender hands. I have room in my heart, Elly. Neither of us know what the future holds, but if holding each other makes that uncertainty easier...
Here is your song, I'm finally happy with it. Let me know what you think.
We are the Al
-
Neatly tucked and safely secured in the folds of a very old and well taken care of diary, a letter is placed carefully, with the lyrics of a song. The pages placed magically in such a way that they would not slip free of the book to help keep them preserved.
To:
Elohanna Min A'Litae
Care of the Tower Academy
Port Hempstead Municipal District
Port Hempstead
Kingdom of Brelin
Mistone
Angel. I enjoyed waking to you watching me, and our morning together. I'm sorry about my cooking, and the burnt toast and that stuff I called tea. I applaud your bravery in the face of my breakfast!
I confess to being very mixed up, as I feel you must be, about what we're doing. Or very carefully not doing. My heart still belongs to another, and so does yours. And yet - you soothe me. You feel like shelter, when I need that so much. And I know what stirs in my chest is more than a pat on your hand, or a chaste hug in times of need.
Time was, I would jump into your embrace and not look back. And I still want to - stars and song, I want to. But, I have to be honest. If she were to walk back into my life, I could not resist her any more than I can resist breathing. I wouldn't even want to. I think it might be the same for you and your Omar, yes?
So...do we offer each other shelter, with that caveat? Do we accept that there might be need to share our hearts, each of us? I can, and will, but you may not be as comfortable with that. I would lean back with a cheery smile and say we're "just friends" but...I felt you next to me, in the night, and I'm only glad you were spooning my back and not the other way around or I'd have been a great deal more embarassed than just my usual morning issues and your giggling about tents.
I put it before you and in your slender hands. I have room in my heart, Elly. Neither of us know what the future holds, but if holding each other makes that uncertainty easier...
Here is your song, I'm finally happy with it. Let me know what you think.
We are the Al'Noth outlaws
Monsters with so many different flaws
Heroes who earn such warm applause
What we are is what they choose to see
We do what others fear to do
We watch what others fear to view
We twist and bend the weave's taboo
What we are is what they wish to be
We are the saviors of the world
Pariahs, fools and mages all of us
We dance the palm of magic's hand
Masters, slaves and sages, all at once
We move the magic of the spheres
We see what's more than it appears
Power stretching thousands of our years
What we do will change your history
We stop the world with a word
We make sure that we are heard
We shape the unreal and absurd
What we do keeps our souls free
We are the story witch
What they scare their children with
We are creatures of imagination
We live the dusty books
We bask in the awed looks
We fight and bend to temptation
We are magic...
Andrew
Beneath the pages barely able to be made out a script itself that if carefully seems a carefully scribed reply.
My Dear Song Bird,
Please Let my words be of comfort to you, as much as your song is to my heart. I am sorry that it has taken so long for me to write back, as I understand how waiting for word from one that you love can tear at your soul deeply with each passing moment.
I crave for the moments we are together, whether it is to be as only friends or more, I will not push what is happening away. I will not deny how I feel. I will not deny that I love you as much as I love Omer, even if it is in different ways. You both hold my heart and that is something that I can not deny. I could not have forseen anything like this happening but I will not let go of such a feeling in my heart that aches for the feeling of belonging.
You are right my heart will always belong to Omer, as yours will to the love of your life, but to be so distant from such a comforting feeling of their arms around us, has seen us become what can not be describe as friends. It is so much more. As if our souls have bonded in the wake of their absence. Yes it is confusing for us both but it simply is something neither of us can let go of.
I do not go into our relationship without an understanding that should she walk back into your life or that of Omer walking back into my own that our hearts may feel as if torn in two direction. I want you to understand I would not hold your love for her against you and I would understand. I will understand and my heart will always.
I will be your shelter, so long as you will promise me should your lady love return and again take your heart so devotedly into her embrace as you deserve, you will not turn away from what will be a most beautiful friendship.
I was not so sure it was possible until I met you that love could exist between more than one soul at a time but you are right. It can and in your hands I place my heart for as long as you wish.
Your song inspires and awakens meaning in the Al'noth, it breathes truth and light within. I hope to see you again soon so that I may hear it sung from your own lips.
~Elly
-
I do not believe I ever expected to fall in love, with a song, with a heart, with the gently brown eyes that gaze back into my own. Yet I have found that I have fallen for Andrew, My Song Bird and that I miss him when we are apart, and I long for the moments of his arms around me.
He brings calm to me and understanding unlike any other, but can only come close to Omer. I have not seen Omer for a long time now. I miss him and pray to Aeridin he has kept him safe for me. While I love Andrew, my start still holds Omer as closely as if he never left but I need them both in my life.
It is not an easy road that I have set my path on, but Andrew understands as I understand that, should each others beloves return to our life. I can not think of hurting Andrew but I know that should Omer return it will happen. I know I could easily use the Al'noth to track Omer as he has me on occassion but I could not betray him like that. I trust him as he trust me. So why am I tredding this path. Why does it feel like betrayal?
Andrew's song in my heart feels right, it is a friendship of understanding that I can not deny. I do not want to deny. I want to embrace him in a way that lets him know how much I love him, that I treasure him. He is so very special to me, I am not sure I can impress upon him just how much.
~Elly
-
My Dearest Song Bird,
It means Daughter of the Light, My name that is. Elohanna Min A'Litae. It is a very old and ancient tongue of my people, but it is my name translated to common. When I first came to Mistone, I made a point of pridefully speaking my name in full but over the century since I have been on Mistone, it has been shortened to Elly or Hanna lovingly by those I treasure as friends. So I hold no ill will to being called Elly or Hanna, but I still hold pride that I am the last of my family as my own children have taken up the name of their father to which I hold no regrets.
He is a wonderful man and his family has accepted me as part of their own. Though they are saddened that we are no longer together, as it breaks with many of our peoples traditions, and has broken many peoples hearts, my own included. They understand that I must also follow my heart.
As you already know, sun elf's especially of our homeland, are very prideful people, very protective over the Al'noth, devoted to keeping histories and works of art safe and sacred. While our people are a very beautiful people it comes at a price of arrogance, something that I simply can not abide. I do not believe that any race is greater than another, not because of intelligence or wisdom, nor strength and pride, nor song and dance.
It is grace and forgiveness that will survive the world of Layonara long after the strong become weak. It is the compassion of the weak that will help save the strong when they fall.
My parents were not strong people physically, as their strength resided in their heart, their compassion and their ability to give their lives so that others could survive, so that our history would not be forgotten.
My father's name is Elwe Lissesul an artisan himself, a sculpture, and archer. It is through him I learned my basic understanding of the bow, and why today I still carry one close to me for use should the occasion arise that I need it.
My mother was a beautiful and enchanting woman, Enelya Sirfalas. She made the most exquisite of clothing, and captured life in such fascinating detail in paintings of her own. She was a woman of such radiating beauty not from only her physical appearance but from her heart within full of love and compassion.
I have never really spoken to anyone of my parents, until now. I have mentioned them more in passing but they are worth remembering and cherishing. They are still very much apart of me, Andrew as I imagine your family will be, for better or worse.
I know that I disappoint my own people as I can not hold to their beliefs that other races should be looked down upon. It is a blessing to know that some of my kin are now working in cooperation with others to help build up Ovdear, and finally understand that all races are worthy.
So many things I thought would never happen when I stepped outside of Saida, things that I have come to accept but in my time, have changed drastically. Saida most of all opening to all races again to allow visitors. The sun now shines brightly in the sky again, despite Rhizome, the wisest of all Heirophant saying that it would never happen.
I have learned many things and the most important recently, is that I cherish and embrace your love for all that it is worth. I hold your songs close to my heart and find myself humming them while I write, where I walk. I have found that you were right, that there simply is more than one person that it is possible for us to love.
I also have found that I worry a lot more now, for you, your safety and where your head is lying. I treasure you so much Andrew and I am sorry that I have been drawn so far away. I hope to be returning soon.
I love you very much Andrew and I long to hold you gently in my arms and gently brush your beautiful locks of soft hair away from your face as we look into each others eyes. I miss you. I pray that Aeridin keeps you safe and light shines within your heart, and that you keep a song for me.
Always your Angel
~Elohanna Min A'Litae
Another letter by a recent author is securely tucked within the pages of the old journal lovingly cared for.
Angel.
I know you've been busy with the Academy, and so I write to hopefully give you a moment's read and a smile.
You have asked me about my history and so for the first time I will write it all down, and give you full disclosure on the man who sings for you.
My family is primarily from Huangjin with a few exceptions, one being my paternal grandmother Rose. She migrated from the Kingdom of Erilyn on Alindor, a small town girl looking for a better life and who wanted to help here on Tilmar. So she told me, anyway - she didn't talk about her birth home very often. I remember her as being so tall, tall as the sky, taller than Grandfather Liang even, with her fading red hair always catching the light and making a halo around her face while she taught me to play Bella.
Yes, a romantic vision, but she was a remarkable lady. I still do the ritual of honor to ancestors when I am home, for her and for Grandfather. She and Grandfather fell in love just as in the story - they told me that tale when I was a boy.
My maternal grandfather Akio has passed and I never knew him. My maternal grandmother is still alive, and I call her Gramma at her request. Her given name is Chihiro Mai. She is a traditional Huangjin lady; demure, quiet, subservient. Everything my mother is not, so I know what mother's personal rebellion was in her younger years. I think that is what allows my mother and I to understand each other sometimes. She remembers...not fitting in. My mother's name is Nana Margret, but she goes by Margret. Nana is a traditional name Huangjin name but she's never liked it. She says it makes her sound like a goat.
My father is William Reid. You might wonder about the names given in my birth home, but there has been a fad of "exotic" names here for some time, and William is considered "exotic" (as is Andrew, and Margret) to my people. Odd, eh? As for Reid, that is one of the other influxes of blood from off the island. All I know is that the family name is over four hundred years old, Corman Reid was very tall and blonde, and he was supposed to have come from Dregar. Actually, if my interpretation is right, he escaped from Dregar, so it would seem I have more color in my past that the family would like to admit. It wasn't until his influence was two generations gone that the geneology was kept as it should have been so I don't know more than that. I think this might have been on purpose.
Let's see - I have a sister, as I told you, and a brother, and a niece, and an Aunt Holly who is my mother's sister and is much like Gramma. I told you how my brother Shuichi has made a hobby of resenting me, and how he's taking up the family pottery business that great-Grandfather Kin started. Shuichi (his "exotic" name is Robert which is never used unless I call him Bobby which will always start a fight, so I do it often - we're both still children I think!) is married to Miyu, and they have one daughter that I have told you of, my niece Opal Mai. I don't see much of Miyu, she is also a traditional woman of my culture. The few times I've been able to talk with her - always in the kitchen, as cooking is her art - she has shown a fantastically dry sense of humor though. I hope Opal gets a dose of that as she's already got a gift for making people laugh at not quite seven years old.
My sister -- again, I told you. She does not speak to us. She is married to her society man, and her plebian family and drunken sot of a brother are a stain on her upward mobility. I know what pain this causes my mother. I think I write mother so often to try to dull that. I'm not sure how Aya got to be that way or if it is just the variability of human nature. I know this sounds naive but how can you turn away from your parents, so long as they were not abusive? Our parents treated us fair, taught us, and stood by us as we grew. The very second Aya was able to break away, legal marrying age without parent's assistance being fifteen, she did. That's why I don't talk about her. I don't write her either and I doubt she'd look at the letters if I did. I guess it still hurts a little, upon reading that.
So that's my family. I mentioned growing up singing, learning violin at eight from Grandmother Rose, and being adept at avoiding work throughout my childhood. I shirked whenever I could, chores, lessons, all of it. I learned when I was interested. I read books or played Bella, and I got into mild trouble once and a while but otherwise I was a polite child I'm told. Polite and lazy. I came to Ilsare at eight as well, and this I will tell you in speech because the printed word is not enough.
I mentioned Xeen to you before, but here is a more detailed look at how the Purple Lady has played my life. When I was a teenager I had no idea what I wanted to do and I was at the mercy of the feelings that boys have before turning men. Wait -- I'm still at the mercy of those feelings...
I met a pair of young women one fine summer day while I was out playing Bella and strolling the square. They flirted, I flirted, they invited me to come back and play for them privately -- I went, of course. Things happened, and my horizons were expanded. They seemed to enjoy me much as a sated cat enjoys a mouse, and I continued to be entertainment for them for about a year and a half. To a boy my age their attention was such an astounding gift -- I daresay I was quite cocky then, knowing what I did that others did not or could only pretend to boast about.
A month before my sixteenth birthday the ladies took me to a party in a temple. Xeen's temple. I will skip the details of the next few years, but when I had finally shaken the temple's influence for good I was a full-blown alcoholic and a drug addict. Perhaps just "addict" is a better word. I should also mention discovering -- here I hesitate, because this is very personal; not that I don't trust you but you may find this distasteful -- that I enjoy a certain amount of pain mixed with pleasure. I have to tell you that. It's not required for intimacy but it is...exciting, to me. I suppose my pain threshold is a little higher than it should be. Perhaps that's just the way I'm made?
I managed even as an addict. I played concerts, private engagements, and on a few occasions the Clamshell. It has always been shocking to me, especially after having formal education, how mediocre I really am. There are violinists that are so much better than I -- I think the alcohol helped me forget that. I was never first chair. I was good enough to make money to eat and cloth myself, but I lived in my family home, not on my own.
I told you why I left Huangjin; my assumed nuptials and my escaping of it. Love is another thing I'm constantly learning. I know familial love. But Eros, one of the defining tenants of my Heartsong, has been a failing for me. The one I lost began that lesson as no one else has. And I have learned, Elly, that there are things that cannot be forgiven. I hope to not make such mistakes with you. That I am an addict will never change, but my choice to follow that path has, and the consequences that follow I will avoid. Like making drunken decisions that air private things that result in painful betrayal. That sort of thing. I don't promise to be perfect. But now that you know the worst of me -- addict, enjoys pain, has made a tome's worth of bad decisions -- rest assured I will give you the best of me as well.
This has gotten rather long hasn't it?
I'll wrap up now and say simply that I hope we see each again soon.
Love,
Your Songbird
-
Minu;
Iracee, ceela. I was in early this morning to tune the piano properly; one of your friends let me in. Ironsdottir is ready to be practiced on. If any of your housemates play, tell them to unstrap the pedal extenders from the bottom, they're easy enough to put on and off. The metal plates on the sides keep them from rolling to the side. Try them out for yourself, you should be able to move the stool up to a comfortable height.
Some news you might find interesting, I recall you mentioning a rapier master you know and I may have found him. Was it Damon Silverdawn you spoke of? If so, I am overjoyed to say he's taken me as a student and we've already had a lesson, with a promise of more. He's upfront, and amazing with a rapier, and I like him.
And speaking of lessons, I await our next with barely contained excitement...
Andrew
-
My Beloved Song Bird,
I am glad that you have found a master swordsman to help guide you in your training. The one who I spoke of whoever was a swordswoman, who has a gift for the blade. Her name is Amireana, she is getting older in her years though, but still quite capable.
I have tried out the piano with the new foot pedals and they fit perfectly! I no longer have to strain to try to use them, though I admit that I have not tried to use them before and I feel lost a bit, so I am admittedly looking forward to the new lessons so that I can appreciate them all the more.
I miss you most of all My Beloved Song Bird and I can not wait to see you again. I will be around the Tower Academy for the next few days preparing for a sale soon to come to help raise funds to sustain the school. Please feel free to stop by and see me. I do miss you when we are apart.
~Your Minu Always
Elly
-
They know, they all know now, except for Omer. I am unsure where he is and I miss him dearly. There is no denying how much. I pray to Aeridin that he is keeping my dearest safe from harm.
There is so much confusion in my mind of how Omer may feel when and if he returns. I love him but I do also love Andrew. Essa asked me about Omer and if we were still together. I could never be without Omer, but also loving Andrew feels just as right, as if it is simply something a part of me needs, a friendship and admittedly the warmth that I need.
His songs inspire me, they give me hope and they restore my focus on what matters most, and that is helping those I can.
The date of the auction for the Tower Academy is here, and the posters have been put up around town. I do hope to see that the auction does well, and so far donations have numbered to 75,000 in true, but from items given for the sale and the auctions themselves. I hope to provide for the school for a good while, without worry.
The guild hall rennovations are done, and I have taken to trying to watch over the store as much as possible, as well the Tower Academy. It seems we may have a new student though I must reach out to her and guage her interest more carefully. I fear she may have tried to tell me of her interest previous but with the infestation of ants in the fields of Port Hempstead, I simply did not have the time to listen.
Aeridin please watch over those you have given life and protect them for as long as we are meant to walk Layonara.
~Elohanna Min A'Litae
-
To: Elohanna Min A'Litae
c/o the Tower Academy
Municipal District
Port Hempstead
Kingdom of Brelin
Mistone
My Minuet -
I'm sorry, I'm sorry - I had to cheat. I had your beautiful letter translated. I think that it will help me more than scratching my head over certain conjugations and cursing (in Tilmarese) the complexity of your tongue.
Pardon me while I pause to ponder the complexity of your tongue...it has indeed been far too long since we have seen each other in a comfortably private situation!
I understand your time constraints and the demands the Tower makes of you, and rest assured my feelings have not changed, Minu. You are part of my song, more than you know. Remind me to tell you of experiences I've had in Wayfare recently and how your quiet beliefs influenced the results. We don't need to spend all our time together for me to love you. Others can wander in and out of our lives, but your place with me is always there when you wish it, and mine with you.
That said, let me catch you up with what I've been doing since last we were together. I have lately been on a listening exercise, wandering and absorbing the Heartsong wherever I find it. Listening to the Heartsong of the natural world, so very quiet and simple; the song of the city; the song of battle; the song of the slow towns and rowdy bars. It has been enlightening and contributed to my music greatly. I have also been setting myself up for possible trouble, which excites me far more than it should. I will speak more of this to you in person.
I sat for a while the other day and spoke to she whom holds a piece of my heart still; our conversation more the talks of days before her fire took me than after. I was reminded, repeatedly, of what drew me to her, and that very same thing that is such a difference between us. I think, looking back, some of those feelings may have been an undercurrent to my action that drove us apart, alcohol or no. You do not affect me the same way; I don't feel like a child around you, always being questioned and gently laughed at as if I were amusing but inconsequential. For this, I thank you.
And yet I cannot imagine not knowing her, not taking her opinion. She seemed confused that I would be content with being content. While I think that this measure of peace is merely another bridge in my song - there will be highs and lows soon enough. Soon enough indeed, as alluded to above.
It's odd, Elly. Elves as a whole tend to look at humans one way, as a bunch of loose arrowheads, utterly predicatable only in how unpredicable we are and deeply annoying in our lack of forethought. And we humans, as a whole, do the same - elves are stuffy and condescending at best, decide things far too slowly, and look down on the rest of us for what reason? And then there is you, and her, and I think to myself "but they're not like that". Who is the rule and who is the exception? I've been coming to face my own racism lately and it's an icy splash of water, let me tell you.
What else? Ah! Do you know the lady Gala, now the head of the Krandor Hospital? I have been working on making instruments to donate there (and am proud to say I can make a halfway decent hickory mandolin now), and I will be spending time there, using the Heartsong to ease pains and learning about the healing side of the Resonance of Being. This I am quite excited about and if you can find me in none of my usual haunts, check there.
My parents have opened up their new pottery barn with some success. And, miracle of miracles, Aya has gotten in contact with mother. It seems her powerful husband, an advisor to the Kagi, has had a fall from grace over a dalliance with someone's daughter. And while I will not name names I laughed myself to the floor when I got mother's letter - I myself "knew" that daughter when she was quite a bit younger! I am smiling even now, because I know exactly how persistant she can be. Aya's husband never had a chance. I can only wonder, additionally, who paid this lady to ruin him? But, the end result is mother gets her daughter back, and I, for now, can speak of my whole family. Aya is pregnant also. I'm not sure if she will leave her husband but the fall from power certainly has tempered her ego, to which I can only say: good.
Write to me, Minu - tell me what you've been doing, thinking. Better yet, write me to tell me when we can meet and have another piano and elvish lesson. I do miss you.
Andrew
-
My Beloved and Treasured Symphony,
I am smiling as I read your letter My Treasured Symphony. Because I never meant for my language to be a puzzle to solve but an understanding you grasped with your heart, as you do the Heartsong. So do not worry that I am upset at you for doing so. Let my words put you at ease and I love you for more than just your willingness to learn my language. I love you because you listen to me. It has been to long since I have held you and the warmth of your breath against my body as we hold each other.
I would never give up the time the Tower takes in my life, when I can see the happiness in each of my students faces as they grasp their first understanding of the Al'noth and realize that in that understanding they have let go of their fears and opened themselves to a world so much beyond even my own imagining.
My Love and My Heart are always with you, as you know even better than I, the Heartsong's melody sings softly for the both of and wills us in its own way to fit where we are meant to be, when we are meant to be there. I wish to truly hear of all of your adventures and I feel that after this auction that we will finally have the opportunity to have more time to spend together. My Heart is always yours and always with you. Please be sure to tell me of all of your adventure as I wish to understand all the pieces of my love and what adventures you have found yourself in.
Andrew, my treasure there is simply nothing about you that I would ever laugh at, rather I will always laugh with you as you touch my heart in so many ways that I hold you as the most precious person in my life. I am glad though that you have had a chance to speak and understand your lady and what made you love her to begin with, though it sounds as if your feelings for her have changed in some small way?
Please let me know when we see each other again as I wish to understand. I also have discovered recently that there was a source of scrying attempted in my own house in Fort Llast, you will have to remind me to tell you what has happened to as I rather not go into the details, other than in person.
I can tell you honestly that most of my own kind have always been arrogant, and very few have ever shown the capacity to be different. I admit that there are parts of me that used to feel that I could not ever love a human, and so I would close myself off to such a possibility. I have lost out on great friends as a result and sadly those who have tried have long since left this mortal world in pursuits to serve their gods.
I believe that there are two reasons for why this happens, one is simply an understanding that because humans are such a young race some of our race have grown complacent that they will only be in our life for a short period of time, and that the time is inconsequential to the bigger picture.
However I feel that, ever pebble no matter how long they are in our lives, matters to the greater picture and the Heartsong continues as it will because every single person matters. Every human, orc, goblin, kobold, elf are part of the bigger tapestry of life. Each race has its own arrogance though, I just wish to not fit into that predictable mold called elf. I have learned more from humans as an honest people than I have my own race and I treasure greatly the lessons learned. The rule though is sadly what you believe it to be. The exceptions are myself and your lady. Hold tight to the exceptions as they will touch your heart in most unexpected ways because we do not close our minds to the possibilities and shelter our lives away in some small portion of the world but we are willing to share ourselves with you.
I am very familiar with Lady Gala, as she is also a member of the Angels guild and I consider her a sister and friend. I am happy to hear you are able and willing to share you talents with the hospital as there is no greater gift than song that can be given to any. I am very proud of you Andrew, and I love that you are so willing to learn all you can about any aspect of the Heartsong. You have an amazing heart that I only fall more and more in love with when I hear about the undertakings you have perused. Please do not stop! I hope to see you soon and hope to also be near Krandor and Fort Llast again in the next few days.
I am also happy to hear that your parents have had success with their pottery barn and that I can hopefully soon have a chance to peruse their wares. I could use some new flower pots for the house, and though it seems a long way to travel, I believe it would be worth it.
It seems as though Aya truly needs an understanding brother to be close to her and Congratulations on being an UNCLE! Even if you have your own paths set before you, I am sure that the thought of being an Uncle has to tickle you. You are dearly blessed with your family and the chance to know the differences and embrace them anyway as you have.
I miss you Andrew and I wish to have you in my arms. I wish to hold you until you grow tired of me. I wish to listen to the softness of your heartbeat. I hope to see you soon my Treasured Symphony.
~Elly
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Everytime he holds me I feel a spark of something new that wells up with a passion that is unrelenting, that embraces him even more with the gentleness as he touches me more in just a way that makes my mind want him even more.
Everytime I hear from his lips the way he calls me Minu, so affectionately I am drawn into his world in a way that will not let me go. I want to sing his song, and understand the melody within, the heartsong that he understands as Krysthalien understood the world around him as well.
The journey of the Arcane did not resonate with me as much as the song does, it does not call to me as Andrew does, it does not draw me into his world as deeply. I thank Ben for showing me that it was a path that I could follow but it is not the path I have been longing for. I must thank Caerwyn for his guidance but I think even he knows this is not a path for me either. Sadly I am sure he will be most disappointed but the truth must be spoken aloud. I have nothing but respect for the path he has devoted himself to. It is his chosen path though, and sadly not my own.
I am not only a mage, but a mother, a friend, a jeweler, a scribe, a cook, at times even a seamstress but how many will understand that I thirst for knowledge, and understanding, I wish to embrace the world in a way that I have not felt led to before until Andrew. I am not sure what I will do but I do wish to speak with Andrew more as I feel he is the only one who understands me more than anyone else.
-
A piecie of parchment lays magically inserted into the pages of the tattered diary, lovingly placed there by its owner, much like pressed flowers in pages preceeding it.
Dear Elohanna,
I am still alive and well. I am passing through Selrine today on the way to Amorbar. I plan to study at the Tower of Earth for a few months before I turn around.
Loving you always,
Omer
I know my heart has cried out for confirmation that my beloved Omer is still alive and well. To hear from him to receive his letter has brought joy to my heart in a way only Aeridin could have answered. My heart lept in my chest racing to hear the few words that mean so much to me and have my prayers answered.
My own reply simple and sweet.
Be safe My Beloved and come home to me soon. There is so much to tell you and the enormity of choices made can never be expressed completely in a simple written letter.
Loving you Always and longing to see you,
Your Elohanna.
I wish I could convey to him the choice I have made to let go of my bow and arrows to see them set aside forever so that I may renew myself and my faith in my beloved Lifebringer. I seen justice prevail when the truth is shown, when lies are dispelled, and I can only hope that peace will prevail as triumphantly when the options to listen are heard.
I have spoken with Ferrit about my decision and she is in full support of my decisions, as are Quantum and Lance. I had hoped to tell Andrew as well but before we could discuss it, he was called away again. I do so hope to share with him at our next dinner date just how much this means to me.
There is also something that puzzles, something I never new and remain quite surpised about, and that Quantum wishes that he could be Andrew, I do love them both but the feelings are different, then again I love Omer to but his love is different from Quantum so I am confused now. Even if it is not the same. It is still love to different degrees and I do love Quantum but never has it been thought of in the way of a lover, but a deep friendship that I cherish.
It seems in my life I have lots to learn, and poor Emwonk, he had not known that Ben had fallen for the last time. I know his heart was breaking and as much as I wanted to cry along with him, I found much comfort in consoling him and being their for him, reminding him and myself that Ben is never more than a memory away and still remains good grounding in our lives by the friendship we have shared with him.
The biggest change to come, the biggest leap of faith is probably the smallest step to take as I begin to study for the priesthood of my beloved Lifebringer. I know there is much to learn and insights to gleam and a world of understanding and faith that I have barely scratched the surface of that I am walking into, but it is willingly and with an open heart and mind that I pray my Beloved Lifebringer will touch my spirit and enable to understand truly his ways.
~Elohanna Min A'Litae
-
A Gift
My Dearest Symphony,
I wished for you to have before I left a gift I was unable to give you. I did wish for you to know though that when you are ready, it is safely tucked away in your room in Leringard, in a package. I trust you to use it as it was intended, in the protection of those you love, as there is no greater reason to release the arrows.
I love you Andrew more than I could ever tell you in mere words common or eleven.
~Your Minu Always
-
Father Leidanos has granted me his sponsorship, and is more than pleased that I have made this choice. He could not try to stress enough to me though how difficult a path it is to walk. He has offered me a chance to stay and aid in the temple here in North Point until word reaches of us where I am needed most. So now I wait, but much more than that I have a chance to truly help in the temple as a true Daughter of Our Healing Light.
I know he is right though, as I have seen how easy it is for some to take life and find pleasure in it, and the thoughts gnaw at my stomach, at my heart and tear at my soul as it really settles on me just how cruel the world is and how unaware so many are of their own actions. I can not judge them though without understanding their own points of view, I walked the path they have and have justified my own actions because I believed it was protecting those I love.
I do not claim to have all the answers or know all the truths, I can try to change myself only, and hope that in doing so that my own actions will show others that it is possible to change.
-
A peacefulness fills the temple of Aeridin at North Point as the night falls. The occassional coughing of a little girl fills the halls, and the whimpering of a scared little boy, drawing Elohanna towards them as the motherly instinct sets in and she goes to investigate.
She kneels down in front of the little girl after pouring her a cold cup of water adding a touch of honey to it. "Here you are Cara, this should help aid that cough and help you rest easier." She then gently covers her with another blanket to help keep her warm, before she moves to Charles hearing his whimpering. She sits down on the bed beside him wrapping her arms around him trying to comfort him, gently rocking him, as she speaks softly to him. "It's alright little one, you are safe now Charles. No one is going to hurt you here." He buries his head against the folds of her dress, trembling. His pain and loss tearing at Elly's heart, as she tries to fight back her own tears and failing.
She gently pulls another blanket around him and holds him closely pulling him into her lap, and rocking him like a baby, bringing his head to her chest, her own tears falling at his pain and fear. She begins to hum softly to help sooth him. "It's alright to cry Charles. You and your sister, will be safe here though." After awhile he begins to settle having cried himself to sleep.
She gently lays him down on the cot to sleep and moves slowly to check on the other beds that are occupied, tending to wounds that need to be changed, before she feels the gentle hand of Brother Tarmaren on her shoulder. "You should rest sister. You have been up since you got here."
She sighs softly giving up to his concern after looking into his eyes and seeing how passionate he is about seeing that she takes care of herself too. "Thank you so much Brother Tarmaren." She takes a moment to head to the entrance of the Temple to gather some fresh cool night air for a moment to clear her thoughts and sits beneath the tranquility of the stars filled sky now that the most current snow storm has passed. She carefully pulls from a pouch at her side a quill and ink, as well as a fresh peice of parchment to write a letter.
My Dearest Symphony,
I have made it here to the temple in North Point and found myself lovingly embraced in the arms of my brothers and sisters. I had feared their judgement and that they would turn me away but such was not the case.
Father Leidanos, Brother Tarmaren, as well was Sister Wina have allowed to me to stay to help in the halls, while I await word of where I am to be assigned. There is a chance that I may be assigned in Krandor but I will go where the aid is needed most.
I am certain that for once in my life I have truly been called down the path I was meant to be on. I truly have a chance to make a difference. These hands were made for My Caring Light to work his will through me. I have no doubt.
Since I have come through the doors I have seen things that would tear at your heart My Love, and my own. It was not until I watched my brothers and sisters here that I truly understand how much courage and love fills each an every one of them. The compassion within them to comfort and aid the sick and to stand by the dying when their last breath is taken. It is heart wrenching but also so heart warming and rewarding.
While so many look harshly on them for their gentle ways, and refusal to draw a blade in answer to conflict. I can only look upon them with the deepest respect and admiration and pray that in time His Healing Light also shines within me.
~Minu
She gently tucks away the ink and quill and sets about to find the nearest post in North Point so that her letter may be delivered.
-
Dead Eye, Spring Dawning 25, 1463
I admit my decision most recently to give up my bow has been tested as I find that when I have exhausted all my options, that I must rely on my faith of Aeridin. I have had a feeling of control in the pit of my stomach that I have always held onto, a security that when I gave up my bow. I lost.
When I was able to inflict harm to others it gave me a sense of strength that I am sadded to think about as a sense of power that made me feel strong. It was the only way I could aid my friends, through spells that twisted the mind, and inflicted so much pain in the name of protecting those I love.
The more I think about it the more it sickens me within and I can only pray that Aeridin can forgive me, that my parents can forgive me, that I can forgive myself. When I look at Andrew and Quantum who both have such faith in me. I can only hope I can be the Healer in Aeridin's name they believe I can be.
When I was helping Cara and Charles a part of me knew this is where I belonged, with my Beloved Healing Light. I don't feel so beloved right now though. I feel horrible. The thought of who was and who I want to be are as different as night and day.
I justified death by saving others who I deemed more worthy to live. Who was I to be a judge, jury, and in some cases the executioner.
My Beloved Healing Light I Pray to you for your gentle strength, compassion and divine wisdom. I pray that you forgive a child lost and will see before you someone worthy of redemption.
-
Bright Eye, Spring Rain 23, 1463
Each day that passes I can feel Aeridin's presense more and more, I can feel his gentle guiding light, trying to teach me that there is always a way other than harming another creature or person to solve conflict. Only a few days have passed it seems since I went to the Silkwood spider caves with Daniel, Ferrit, Jako, a lady who calls herself Lily, Bella and even Andrew appeared.
As I listened more and more, I started to realize it was not where I belonged, a part of me again justifying that I was there to research the poisons as I gathered what sacs I could. Even that felt wrong. Being there had not seemed as it had so many times before, and I had to leave. I could not just come out and say that what they were doing was wrong. So I left them even Andrew to think more clearly.
As I was leaving though I came across a dire spider, who began to chase me, and I can only imagine it did so because I startled it. I did not want to hurt it. I simply wanted to get away from it. I had caused enough harm to its family. When I finally stopped it tried to bite me and I reacted. I reacted just as I always do until I felt it pull back as though it did not want to hurt me either. I made a deal with this spider that I would not hurt it if it would not hurt me, and so I tended to the wounds I had caused it. It seemed to calm a great deal and understand I intended it no harm, or perhaps it was I who finally realized that they are smart enough to understand.
I could only believe that My Healing Light is trying to reach my heart, to show me more each day what is possible. I am trying to listen and understand.
After I left the Silkwood I traveled under the cover of invisibility to the hills just outside of Hlint, along the way thinking of all the possible ways there could be to befriend and possibly even make amends with those I have caused pain to before. I have a great many things to atone for.
My path and lessons did not seem to end there and only continue to further tear at my heart as I used my tome to go back home. I thought I had wanted to be alone but as I stepped through the portal to see Captain Jennara, I knew I needed her wisdom and somehow she may be the only one who would understand just how I was feeling at the moment. One of the few willing to listen.
What she said though hit me hard as though I would want to deny the truth but then I find myself accepting it. She is right. "those who qualify as 'adventurers' are often simply killers."
Could it come to a point where I would would have to turn my back on all those I consider friends because of that simple truth?
True friends would surely take the time to listen, to understand, and give peace an opportunity. I feel miserable though as I come to understand the wisdom of Jennara and realize just how difficult it must be to see such atrocities, and how the actions of adventurers leave homes decimated by war parties, leaving few if any survivors in their wake.
Aside from the abberations of undead, those souls that need to be set to their final rest, and the constructs that even I have called before to do my bidding. All Life has a purpose, until it ceases to be. We take and consume so much. Things we simply do not need to survive. Things we were not born into this world possessing and make them the center of everything. We are not content to settle for just enough but must always have more than we need.
I used to want to be one of them, always it was so important to be more than I needed to be, more than I was meant to be. I used to protect so that they could hurt more people, more creatures, devestate more lives.
Until someone takes a step to change, no one else will. They will see no reason to. I am afraid that Glurgle and what his people have shown us has gone forgotten over the many years. It can not simply be allowed to be forgotten. In their memory I have to try to finish what Melanna and Glurgle started. Aeridins shining light must burn bright in this world, much more so than that of senseless, unnecessary death.
-
Dead Eye, Autumn Harvest 11, 1463
The anamnesis of it all begins right outside the tower walls of Port Hempstead, along the small pond that lies just on the fringes of Dapple Green, full lush trees, beautiful ponds, and so much life it is so hard to name all that lives there.
It was at the pond I chose to take a respite to recollect my thoughts though I admit I forgot what my thoughts were on at the precise moment that Ty approached, but we spoke for awhile of many things. And then Miss Valanca, a beautiful Ilsarian cleric with a love for painting approached and Ty told me of how she had called Hlint guards on her one day.
While I have very little cause to be alarmed by Ty aside from her quest to put unnecessary wards in my home, not everyone feels the same.
It could not be just a simple observation of her carefully considered brush strokes bringing life to beautiful sunrise, not on this day. That would have been as if asking far to much. Not long after I began to enjoy a quiet morning watching Valance, everything was tossed upside down. It could not be as simple as my beloved Andrew appearing to warm my heart and enjoy the painting with me.
No instead, several others began to appear on the roads, and why should they not. It is a well traveled road that leads between Vehl and also Fort Wayfare, and why should I try to claim it as my own at this moment. I was enjoying myself at this moment is why. I was warming to the idea that Miss Valanca's paintings could being a sense of peace to Galathea's patients in the hospital. A thought that I still stand by.
A man by the name of Twinkle appeared to the slowly growing group, distraught and of course as adventurers are, and even myself. Our curiosity of his situation brought us to ask the questions of what we could do to help.
It seemed a Malar bag of still unknown contents had been stolen from him and his companion. So we proceeded east along the road towards Fort Wayfare and found his companion, by all accounts she was dead. I could not feel any life from her at all, but through the will of Ilsare and that of Aeridin that it was simply not her time to die. She rose again. Twinkle the man who had lead us along the road then returned with his companion to the city to see she was properly cared for by a healer.
Of course now the adventurers all had their eyes on the prize, the mystery, solving it and finding out why archers of arcane teachings may have been involved in the theft of this item. What did it hold of such great importantance that several of them were willing to kill their companions to keep quiet about?
I admit I was even curious as I could feel the magic on these arrows and trying my best to keep anyone further from being hurt. I tried to hold several bandits along the path but only one of them lived. Only one of countless lives survived the devastation of our group. Only one when I tried to tell them to stop. They charged in with weapons swinging without much of a consideration of saving a life of preserving it, of finding answers without bloodshed.
I know we came under attack and they would justify it as protecting themselves, even I took a few arrows but I was not going to attack. I was willing to take the arrows. I...could have very well died, had it not been for Andrews healing songs keeping watch over me.
Deeper we went into the forests along the river until we came to a larger encampment and came under attack again. So many fell as I was trying to hold those I could from attacking. Their weak minds not able to withstand the spell casts that took their lives. I watched in horror as Richard casts the spell that took so many lives, as if it was the only choice, as if it was so easy. Dear Aeridin I pray that you have mercy on their souls. They never stood a chance.
I try to look back on that moment and think about all I could have done different. How I could have stopped time and perhaps prevented part of this but in the moment all I could do was feel the life being torn away from the world, with no chance of redemption. Not one of them sorry about the loss of life that day.
The path I walk may very well be walked on my own. My thoughts are confused sometimes, my heart torn by friends, who wish my aid but fail to see how their actions are hurting others. This trip only solidified my reasons for keeping my distance. I can not compromise who I am even for my friends, and if they are truly my friends they will understand.
-
World Tree, Winter Snow 14, 1463
As my fingers gently played over the keys of the piano in the living room, the tears could not help but fall reflecting back at the journey not very long ago to aid Twinkle, the fallen, the thoughts of what I could do differently tugging at my heart. The lady and Twinkle survived. Our party survived. When she is well enough her bag will be given back to her by the guards of Port Hempstead. For now its contents still remain a mystery and everyone has gone their seperate ways. Now I sit here in my home in Fort Llast waiting for My Beloved Symphony to appear. Right now I really need him. I need the warmth of his arms to hold me. He says there is something we need to discuss and I can see it troubles him a great deal. I have hardly seen him so tense.
Where were my thoughts.. oh there is the door. It must be Andrew. I shall return later.
later...
I woke up this morning to find My Beloved and quietly taken his leave while I slept. I have never been so tired, but he left in his place a letter for me. A thought, a thought I find worth persuing, and hope that perhaps Moraken, and perhaps Mage Dalton, may be able to be of some aid. The thought of such a spell, It could stop them all before the fighting starts and then force them all to sit down and talk reasonably. The amount of power required though for such. I am not sure that one mage could accomplish its task but if I have learned anything over my life and persuits of magic. Anything is possible. If it is the will of My Caring Light, I must find a way to bring it to fruition.
Andrew told me though, of his encounter with a dark elf, on behalf of himself and Lady Saida, they have threatened my beloved, in an attempt to get him to back off of his own investigations of the enchantress and the one she works for and to get me to bring them a sacrifice.
I simply can not allow Lady Saida to use me to hurt others any longer. I am not going to aid her in finding an innocent child to exploit, nor am I going to play her games. Never have I seen Andrew so hurt and afraid, and something needs to be done to stop Lady Saida. While I am the Headmistress of the Tower Academy, I can not allow her to have what she wants, nor can I allow her the chance to hurt another but instead of pursuing another to do the task for her, she seems bent that it should be me. She will be waiting until firesteep freezes before I will give in though.
Miss Lana is in danger from her, Andrew, Emwonk, she has already tried and failed to get her grips on Emwonk, but I can not allow her to take the wife of my dear Friend, away from their children. The choice is left to me now, do I confront her, and play into her game once again. Or simply ignore her and hope she loses interest?
-
Minu;
I've been thinking, per our discussion of last night. I sat up quite a while and watched you sleep; you must have been exhausted to have done so. And it struck me that you used the holding spell to try to prevent the death of some of those men, yes?
What if you could develop a mass holding spell? Something that would prevent either side of an altercation from killing? You have centuries of learning tucked under your slender belt, and your beliefs and your god would support that research. It would be a very powerful spell but it would also allow you to freeze a situation before any blood is shed.
I believe you can do it, Elohanna. I suggest you think on it. I had to take my leave before you awoke but I wanted to plant this seed. With your clerical training and your wizard learning, that would be a legacy to leave Aeridin. And you are the woman to do it.
Muse inspire you, Minu, and I know She will.
Love,
Andrew
-
My heart cries out and it barely seems as though a soul is listening, death is a part of life, and all we can do is try to make those we live as comfortable as we can while they are here.
I hear it at every turn that death is going to happen, wars are going to be fought, blood is going to be spilt. Friends are proud warriors, proud of their skills, proud of the reasons they fight, and proud to call me one of their family.
Why is it then that I am so confused? Why is it that I see things so differently, I see hope I see life, I have heard and read of Ayla Bineau a follower of the Healing Light, who traveled and aided all those who asked it of her. Who aided Corash and it is because of her that he now stands in quiet contemplation of the life around us in the Vale of the Silkwoods.
I stood for hours in the Hall of Heroes speaking with Tod, and while we see things differences, we understand each other too. I feel as though I am again compromising, and if I am not careful I will fall into the same trap that I had when I journeyed away from home. I want to be there for my family and friends, but I also do not wish to support them in senseless slaughter.
Aeridin I pray you hear me and help guide me to do what is right and to lead me in such a way to help those who need me most. Help me be the healer and protector of life in your service to aid those I can.
Always Your Daughter of Light
-
a letter arrives by falcon to the temple in North Point
Dear Father Leidanos,
I patiently await word of where the church wishes me to aid the most, I have offered to the Krandor hospital my aid when they are ready to open their doors. I have also been traveling where and when I can with those who have asked of me to provide what healing and protection I can, as it is all I can do until I hear more from you and the church to know where it is I am to formally begin my training.
There are so many questions that I have, so many thoughts and it is difficult to walk such a path without answers. I hope to hear from you again soon. There are things that have happened and I wish to share. Please write back soon.
Elohanna Min A'Litae
Daughter of the Light
-
While I await word from Father Leidanos, I have been traveling with a few friends more often than not though I find myself with my dearest friend Quantum. He understands me more than I find even Andrew does. Quantum to me is the only and true Shining Hand of Toran and the others are just grasping at what that means.
It seems most just pick and choose the virtues that fit into their immediate needs, all but forgetting that there must be a balance maintained to be a true servant. Yet it feels as if they have forgotten humility exists in accepting aid from outside of their own, that restraint rather than fighting can save more lives than blindly swinging their sword until there is none left standing. Toran is a great leader and to me that means more than just seeking to end life senselessly.
Toran's followers are not all who trouble me though, even Rofirien's own who should been seeking Justice, has forsaken races. I can only imagine that both Toran and Rofirien are saddened by what they see of their own followers, and while part of their hearts are well intentioned they need also to find the path back to what they should be fighting for.
Recently on a trip to the Great Spikes, they allowed me a chance to limit the bloodshed to only those abberations of undead residing in the frozen wastes. We left the inhabitants of the lands between alone. Everyone has to have a place to call home, and if they can not be safe in their own home, they will fight to protect. They will grow angry and we will never be able to reach peaceful resolution with them.
On the way back though, it was so incredible. The size of the bear we encountered was well, as big as a house! He was so beautiful, and terribly hurt by an ice shard that had been lodged in its leg. I felt so bad for it that I wanted to help it. I was worried at first the others would attack it, but they didn't! Praise be to you My Caring Light! I know you are working miracles in my life, and changing me to be a true daughter to the light.
We were able to finally remove the shard from our injured friend and through the healing hands of Iellwen we were able to save our friend. I know he was afraid, it was as if he had resigned to his death and that I would be the one to end his life, but I could not. I had to help him, the wound though grave was not so grave it could not be mended with the aid and grace of you My Healing Light.
I pray to you My Beloved Aeridin that you continue to work such miracles in my life and use me to show others what is truly possible given the courage to lay down their blades and walk in your Light.
I used to think I knew who I was, but I know now I am your Daughter of Light.
-
Gateway, Spring Blossom 22, 1464
A tear stained letter is sent to by falcon to Omer...
My Dearest Omer,
I write this letter to you because I can not form the words the way I wish to, and I wish for you to understand your return has meant a great deal to me. You always must know how deeply I love you and cherish you. You and I have been through so much together through the many years we have known each other and I simply can not imagine being without you in my life.
You must understand though that in the time you have been away, just how much I have changed. It is more than just simply setting down my bow, it is more than just embracing the ways of My Caring Light and walking his path to becoming one of his chosen in the priesthood.
I have changed in my ability to accept love in entirely new view, while once I was possessive seeing love as only one way, a way that limits its beauty to on soul only. I have come to realize that it is possible to trust your heart to more than one person. And there are so many different reasons that it is impossible for me to even think of them all.
I simply can not turn my back on the love I feel for Andrew, no more than I can for that which I feel for you. But I am different and while I don't want to lose either of you in my life. I simply can not take the heart break of hurting either of you.
Andrew asked me if you were the sharing type. In my heart. I know you are not. So now I am at an place where I am being asked to chose between two of the most compassionate and caring men that I know and I feel as though my heart is breaking.
When you hold me in your arms and I feel your warmth and I simply wish to be no where else. You are the center of my being, and when I am held by Andrew it is so much the same. I can not make this. I can not.
Truth has always been at the center of what is between us, regardless of what that truth may be. I have felt like running and hiding from both of you but that would not be fair to either of you. Nor would it in any way solve this delima.
Can you accept that I love you both? I need to know Omer.
~Elohanna
-
My Dearest Andrew,
Love can not be a forced choice, as I feel it has been made, not by you but by Omer. So I have sent a letter to him, to ask him if he can understand my feelings, and how much I love you and how I am not willing to let that go.
I await to hear word from him, but I wish you to know I do love you, I treasure you, and my heart is always going to be with you. Your Muse has blessed us with an understanding and unbreakable bond, and I feel as if my heart has been forced to make a decision to simply push love away for the sake of another, to choose not only between friends but what I know and embrace as the truth between us both.
I know there was an understanding between us that should the others love return it would be understood, but now that that decision is upon us. I can not simply turn my back on the love we share.
If you truly can should your love appear, please let me know Andrew. Please I ask of you only this that you be honest with me as you always have.
Your Minu so long as you will have me,
~Elohanna
-
*the writing on this short scroll is italic script; the letters are not the usual strong strokes but show signs of a trembling hand*
Minu. Minuet.
This is my fifth draft and still I can't get it right. Yes, so long as you'll have me - there, now you can read the rest without wondering.
I was, am, still willing to be a part of your life along with Omer. I hope for your sake he pulls his skull out of his behind and realizes what he's tossing aside in the name of his pride; but if he doesn't, well, more for me. Is that too honest? I hope it made you smile.
Love cannot be forced and love must sometimes be shared. We both understand this. If he comes around, or if my other love wishes more someday? I will never make you choose and I know you won't force the same on me.
I had a lot more to say but I think I'll tell you after we have proper make-up...conversation.
Love,
Takeshi
P.S. Tiger misses you. He spent days whining under the bed.
-
A silver envelope apparently imbued with magic, floats above the bed, slowly turning with the soft air currents. Upon magical inspection it appears to be locked, and will open for a single individual. On approch it opens for Elohanna falling on the bed
Elohanna,
Change is inevitable. You have changed, I have changed. I am overjoyed to see you happy, centered, balanced and focused on your new path. You make me very happy.
We have been bonded in one form or another for many, many years now. Our bond has survived sweet times, hard times, long temporal distances and long physical distances. I predict that our bond will remain as stalwart as ever against the future perils that undoubtedly will come.
In the fog of uncertainty, you asked whether I could share you. I asked if you could share me. The questions only reaffirm answers that we both already know to be true. The questions are not new nor are the answers. I believe that the bond shall hold true even when one day I wander the plains. When the fog lifts, I know that you will see the truth of it as clear as I do.
I despair that I have caused this newly found balance to be disrupted by my return. I refuse to cause you this anguish. I have moved my things to the Great Library and will remain there. Perhaps I will author a manuscript, treatise or simply dust books and read titles.
Forever yours,
- Omer
-
Elohanna discovers a silver envelope on top of a pile of Omers gear in the bedroom
Dearest,
I have returned to Fort Llast, as I could not focus in the Great Library. You are obviously away and busy. I owe the guild a visit, and I plan to visit the Tower library as well. I left Ping in the house, so do not be alarmed.
Love,
Omer
-
Miss Elohanna Min A'Litae,
I was pleased to receive your letter and was able to take time and read your fine words during a short break in my day. It is with a smile I read of your willingness to assist the hospital and take care of companions on your journies, as followers of the Lifegiver would be expected.
Service to Aeridin can come with great sacrifice at times and I need to be certain that you are able to put aside personal comforts at times and lend your full body and soul to his ways.
Embrace Life,
Father Leidanos
-
Dear Father Leidanos,
There is no doubt that my heart and soul seek only to serve My Beloved Caring Light with all that I am. I am very much willing to let go of what is not important to follow graciously and with humilty as is requested, as is needed, as I strive to do with every breath I take.
If I were asked to be as a peasant to help aid in any part of the world of Layonara. I would do so. I freely and without question, give my life to My Caring Light so that he may use me in anyway he sees fit.
Always in service to My Caring Light,
Elohanna Min A'Litae
-
Miss Min A'Litae,
That is wonderful news.
However, I am troubled by the tone of your reply, as it seems you are with conflict in your life, perhaps a recent loss or feelings of doubt. We are not seeking those who wish to sacrifice themselves without great cause.
It may be best if we could meet again to discuss your aspirations and determine whom to be assigned to you as a mentor. That is, if you determine that you wish to continue your studies after our council.
Embrace Life,
Father Leidanos
-
Dear Father Leidanos,
My devotion and love for Our Caring Light has not wavered at all, it has only grown. I pray you to take comfort in my written words and can only hope that when we meet again you will see for yourself.
There is no doubt, no feelings of loss, there have been conflicts but I am sure they will not be the first nor the last that I ever have, but they are not of choosing to follow and become one of My Caring Lights own.
I believe that I may have misworded my intent. I am not seeking to foolishly give away my life as I would not be able to help where I believe I being called to help My Caring Light, but that I will be more than wiling to do what is asked of me, by you, by the church, by My Beloved Aeridin.
I would like to travel soon to North Point to speak with you personally again. When it is a convenient time for you as I know you are kept very busy. Your council is greatly needed though. I don't believe a letter can truly convey my thoughts as I would hope.
Always walk in His Light,
Elohanna Min A'Litae
-
My Beloved Symphony,
I have made it here to North Point safely, and I miss you and Tiger very Much. There is so much good to be done here to help those displaced by the storms, as it seems the Sisters of Mercy are already hard at work helping the wounded, and providing what shelter than can, as well as comfort for those who need it most. Many lives have truly been effected by the storms my love. So many lives already lost, and children and husbands, and wives who have lost the one they have bound their lives too. It is difficult not to be effected by the sadness in their eyes, and not feel and understand the pain they must be going through.
I do have great news to share with you. Father Leidanos and I have had a chance to talk, though I hope to truly get to know him as time passes as I know he has so much more wisdom he can share with me. He has already shared so much with me in ways that will help me better understand the path I have chosen.
I told him of how I came to know My Caring Light, how I had been brought up by my parents to embrace his ways since I was a little girl. How I have known him through the painful times in my life and through the joy I with with those I love.
He asked me why I had not sought more formal teachings, and the only reason I had was that Until now I knew that I was not ready to fully embrace the teachings of My Caring Light. I told him that slowly Aeridin has been showing me how this is where I belong, and in his own time showing me and leading me to understand.
He asked me what had changed in my life? There have been so many reasons, and so many things change truly. You, Omer, Tiger, the events in the silkwood. The reason for my journey truly began with the Angels and seeing fallen friends immortalized in statues, of seeing needless slaughter of so many hundreds of thousands of creatures trying to exist as we are.
He then asked me if I thought devoting my life to Aeridin would change the destruction. I told him I could not change the world but I could try. Truly my Symphony someone has to try! Even Father Leidanos is saddened by the enormity of it all. I want to help Aeridin's cause. I want to be a beacon to do his good work, and mend lives and show everyone what is possible when we believe.
As he asked me more questions of what I knew of the faith of Aeridin, he also taught me that while I try to define Aeridin's dogma in terms of black and white, that I was missing that it is not so easy. In trying to follow the letter of My Caring Lights dogma, I was forgetting its spirit. I was forgetting that we need our friends to help us purge evil from this world even though we may not always agree with them or their methods. We need them!
Father Leidanos told me what we need to do is embrace the life we have and respect the lives of others through Aeridin's teachings. I had to ask him though how you can protect those you call family and friends when you know in your heart what they are doing is wrong. This is when he assured me that we need those who do not follow Aeridin to still remove the evil of of this world. He reassured me that in their hearts they are all good people, but they are not held to the same respect for life expected of Aeridin's faithful.
What is evil and can good become evil? Yes it can. You see in my heart, in the actions of those I love and hold dear, I have seen acts that seem evil to me, they trouble me, as I have seen those we care for take pleasure in the death they cause, and it makes me wonder if we are not becoming more like those we consider evil.
We talked of so many things My Symphony, that I did not even feel the cold wind of North Point, I felt warm and embraced speaking with Father Leidanos, and even when he led me back outside to meet my mentor. She is the most beautiful lady My Symphony, I know you would love to meet. Her name is Kerrie Vlassk of the Sisters of Mercy. Even her hands were warm to the touch despite the cold, truly touched by My Healing Light.
I have so much to learn from her My Symphony there is so much that I don't even fully understand yet. I don't know how long I will be here, but there is so much good I can do here yet. Sister Kerrie says that sometimes the journey to find the Light of Aeridin can take a long time, and others My Caring Light touches their heart with his blessings almost immediately. I don't mind waiting though as I know that there is a reason in my heart that Aeridin would take his time to show me what I need to see as I am meant to know.
Always Your Minu,
Elly
-
My Dearest Omer,
I am thrilled to tell you that I have been assigned to a mentor here in North Point, her name is Kerrie Vlassk of the Sisters of Mercy. She is a truly beautiful woman and kind hearted, patient and very understanding. I miss you and so I have sent Lianna home to you to deliver this letter and so that you and Ming are not lonely.
Sister Kerrie, says that sometimes finding the path to Aeridin and his blessings can take a long time and others he touches your heart quickly. I am very patient though as I know he will when he feels I am most ready.
There is so much I have learned so far, my love. So much that seemed black or white. I am finding is not so. I am finding that I have to step back and rethink a lot of what I thought I knew and I pray everyday for the grace and wisdom of Aeridin to guide my heart and thoughts to do his will and that with his wisdom guiding me that I can comfort and help those in need and share with them all that My Caring Light means to me, and all that he has done for them.
I miss you my Beloved and there is so much more that I want to tell you but I am called again to aid.
My Love Eternally,
Elly
May My Caring Light ease your heart while we are apart.
-
Minu -
I heard rumors of North Point's troubles and as I seem to have time on my hands, would you like my assistance?
I will be there, say the word.
Andrew
-
*the italic script is shaky, the letters jagged*
To: Healer Elohanna Minuet
c/o Temple to Aeridin
North Point
Boyer Kingdom
Dregar
Minu, love - I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write you. I've only just gotten back the ability to write and the patience to sit. I've put the bottle away again, hoping (as I always do) that it's for good this time.
It nearly killed me, Minu. It gets worse every time and I wanted to die from the tremors and the delirium; my Muse and a friend kept me alive. I'm not going to build up false hopes about permanent sobriety except to say, if I start drinking in the future, I will never stop again until it kills me. I cannot spend another week as a screaming wreck unable to get off the floor.
Tiger is in Alton's hands and I've traveled to Lor to meet with Marshall Tomyris on business. Some things have come up and I'll likely be returning periodically in the future; I'll tell you more of that when we meet. I'll come to North Point as soon as I've finished here. I think your company and the company of your fellows will be of comfort while I dry the last few years from my system, and if I can lend help in some way, all the better.
I'll see you soon.
Love,
Andrew
-
I don't really know where to start with this, but here it is.
Not long ago I have found myself in a little town not to far from point dart. We were many adventurers there and the town seemed to be really busy. As I was wandering about I noticed a few people that were not part of our group that were sneaking about, so I decided to follow them.
It happened to be some people I knew, Gimli Stonecutter, Nonac Shadowolf. There was an other goblin I didn't know. In any case, As I was following them, I saw that gimli was making some harsh accusation to a woman about hiding a necromancer in the town, and as a men came towards him, he turn and attacked him, killing him. It wasn't long that the whole town turned on him and tried to capture him.
I don't know what really got into me, but I helped them, with Jennara.
In the end, an other men I knew for doing business with in the past, Stygian, was also part of their plot it seems, as he tried to liberate Gimli, that Jennara and I had captured, with the rest of the town. The town didn't want to set a trial for Gimli's murder and with the encouragement of Raziem and Zarianna, they decided to leave the family of the dead to decide on his future. It really didn't take more that Gimli was shot down by an arrow and died in his blood. That's when Stygian decided to use a finger of death to kill that man. I tried to stop him, so did Raziem and in the end Jennara killed him.
Now I am face with a problem. I noticed earlier this day, that Gimli had placed an add in the market hall, seeking for someone to do some wet work. Coin wouldn't be a problem and that he had to be contacted to get the name of the target. I can only surmise that either Jennara or I are the targets.
This is why I am writing you. As a lot of you know, I do not wish to have problems, and it seems that problems has found me. I need you help in this matter. Your protection.
Tyillaan Selaama.
-
Minu, love.
I'm still working in Lor - thank you for the additional spells, I will be back and forth here quite a bit. Things are going very well and I'm enjoying my class far more than I thought possible.
I was digging through my songbook and found something I wrote for you right after our discussion about Omer. I thought you might be interested in (now, a safe distance away from the pain) what I was really thinking after you left.
*enclosed is a musical score for violin, modified for piano - the tune is slow and bittersweet*
The sun went down this afternoon
Didn't think it would be this soon
My life is running sand through glass
I thought I'd have that long
Would it have helped if I was less of me
Keeping my hands to myself
Would it have helped if I wasn't a drunk
Had left all my booze on the shelf
I only want what's best for you
I'm fine with it
Fine with him
Just fine
Really
My sun went down this afternoon
I didn't think he'd be this soon
Contingencies of thin spun glass
I thought I could be strong
I only want what's best for you
I'm fine with it
Fine with him
Just fine
Not really
Tell me how things in North Point are going, and I'll fill you in on my class when I see you in person.
Love,
Andrew
-
Dear Elohanna,
Lianna has been great thank you for sending her to me! Lianna, Ping and I miss you very much. I have been playing pixie games with them. I rememer fondly the pixie games we four used to play. I am happy that you like your mentor, Sister Kerry, and that you seem to enjoy your time there. Are you allowed visitors? We love you very much.
Am I interim headmaster now? I think the headmasters office needs paint. Black star field floor, celestial ceilings should do it. Love, I am teasing you.
Sweetheart, take your time, enjoy yourself, learn all you can.
Omer, Lianna, Ping
*signatures in pixie; letter covered in pixie dust*
-
My Beloved Symphony
I would do anything I can to protect you, and keep you safe. There are more spells that should find you there safely with Lianna.
I believe you are a natural teacher and you have a gift of understanding that makes people comfortable around you, I know you bring comfort to me when I am out of sorts, and I can only imagine that, that same sense of understanding shines through to your students when you can tell they are afraid of the water or taking that first step to learn something new.
I know you are doing what you love and you are doing very well. It has not been easy here in North Point, walking by the site of.. I just can't bring myself to say it. I want so much to bring back those lost but I know also that I can't. My heart breaks for them and for our world that so many precious souls have been taken so horribly.
Truly there is not one in the temple who is not impacted deeply and the tears cling to their eyes as their hearts are broken. It has become more peaceful here though, or maybe it is just the grief heavy on the hearts of all here. There are not the short tempers flairing anymore but a sorrow that lingers in the air, even worse in some ways.
I am truly sorry for the pain I cause you Andrew. I felt as though my own heart was breaking twice over when I knew I might loose you. I never want to break your heart. I never want to see your tears fall, not because of me. I want to be the one to help ease your pain. I want to be your Minu, your Angel always. I am also glad to know that Tiger is being taken care of while we are gone and that he is in safe hands. I miss you both so much and I miss though sound of your heart beating and the feeling of your breath on my neck while you hold me.
Loving and Missing you Always
~Elly
-
My Dearest Omer,
My Beacon in the darkest of times, I am glad to hear from you and yes I am allowed visitors, and would welcome you, Ping and Lianna to come. Sister Kerrie has been wonderfully understand and gentle in the way she comforts everyone around her. She is strong in the faith and I can clearly understand why Father Leidanos has me under her wings.
I too remember fondly the games we used to play but I know now that we will have to find new games to play, though recently I have been asked by ShadowLeaf to help him. I believe like Illyana that he is looking for his family though we have not had a chance yet to talk about it. I just have this feeling.
I could not help but smile after I sneezed though when opening the letter from all the pixie dust. Please let Ping and Lianna know how much I miss them and look forward to seeing them again as soon as I can. I love you dearly my Omey and know that you will do well as the Headmaster, where you should be.
Love Always,
Elly
-
Dear Tyillaan,
You should know without asking that I will try to help as much as I can. You are always welcome to stay in the temple and I will also send word to a friend so that he knows too what is happening.
Hearing your recount of events I am puzzled by those I thought were good people now taking out bounties on those whose thoughts to not match their own agendas
Please know my dear friend I will do what I can to keep you safe. Thank you for your faith in trusting me.
~EMA
-
My Dearest Omer,
I know if there is anyone I can trust to help a friend it is you, so I am sending a copy of my letter as well as the one sent to me so that you will know what is happening. She has a room in our home in Fort Llast and I do wish to keep her safe and those that live with us. Please keep your eyes and ears open.
All My Love
Elly
-
Elohanna,
You must pardon my hasty reply as you can only imagine the heartbreak in the aftermath of the occurrence here in North Point. I must only pray that Aeridin had a purpose for the untimely deaths of so many at the orphanage.
How are your studies coming along so far and have you felt any of Aeridin's blessings upon you, perhaps only in a dream?
I look forward to seeing you again soon. Be safe and travel gracefully in his light.
Kindest love,
Kerrie Vlassk
Sisters of Mercy
-
Kerrie,
There is no need to apologize, and though I can not imagine the heartbreak, I do take comfort that I know Aeridin is with them. Two precious lives where taken from me not so long ago and though it hurt so much in that moment, I have taken comfort from my husband at the time that they are with our Beloved Healing Light and they are where they are meant to be. I am confident those lost are not lost but found through the grace of Aeridin and his Healing Light is trying to reach out to us even through this and comfort our hearts.
What happened feels wrong though, it doesn't make sense, and after speaking with a few people there may be a possible connection between what happened here and an incident in Point Dart, though I am not completely certain, there was a necromancer involved. I am only speculating though as I was not present for the events, and am only hearing recounts from those that were.
My Studies are progressing as far as they can, as I have recently offered my aid to the Krandor Hospital under the direction of Miss Galathea, and have stepped down from headmistress position at the Tower Academy, though I still retain an instructor position. I simply can not let go of watching over the children there and guiding them to appreciate the Al'noth.
Aeridin's blessings always shine upon me, though I may not be able yet to call upon them as you and Father Leidanos can, I know he is with me in my heart, like a fountain trying to pour forth. There have been no dreams only a certainty within that tells me what it is I am feeling is right. I can only imagine that Aeridin is taking his time because I am not quite ready yet.
I am not discouraged though only hopeful of his Light shining within me, with such warmth that I will not be able to contain His Healing Light, His ways once he has.
Sister I have tried my best to travel the lands, to follow Father Leidanos advise that our friends are aiding us to do what we ourselves can not because of our calling.
I have only found myself challenging their ways, though I tried to hold my tongue out of respect for our friendship, I had not felt they were respecting life, as it was to easy to simply end the lives of those creatures who did not agree with their own beliefs.
Usually I would have simply left them but in this moment, I felt compelled to actually have my voice taken seriously, and that instead of supporting this massacre for resources, to challenge if my friends were truly even following the beliefs of their own gods.
It seemed an inconvenient time to do so but I feel as though at least one of my friends is hearing my voice and it is impressing on his own conscious that what is happening is wrong.
I hope that I am not taking a step back but Sister, I think for to long inconvenient truths have been ignored to comfort our friends minds that what they are doing is right, when it is not. I know they think they mean well, they believe it so strongly. I know recently I was approached in our guild hall and sold a customer an enchantment that I found out he was going to take and use on the goblins that live outside of Hlint.
I felt sick at the thought, as he said he would kill one on my behalf, and I told him please not to. I don't think I can continue to help aid the Angel's, when their weapons are taking lives. I pray for Aeridin's wisdom to guide me Sister but I feel so lost sometimes, in a world where death is the easy answer, that it makes me feel sick to watch. There has to be a better way.
Always walk in His Healing Light Sister, never loose sight of him. I have watched sister and brothers fall from Aeridin and it is heartbreaking. I pray his warmth never leaves you.
Warmth of His Healing Light Always be with you,
Elohanna
-
Dearest Mom and Dad,
I have never felt this compelled to address a letter to you as I know you are beside our Healing Light, I pray that if you are able to speak a word to his ear, that I am here, and I am his servant. I know he knows, I know he speaks to me but more than anything, I need to know that I have not angered him in my position to my friends.
After explaining in a rather lengthy letter to Sister Kerrie, I realized that I may have been to harsh to Daniel Benjamin, and parts of me regret my words though they were my feelings at the time, at how poorly at that moment I must have represented the heart of My Caring Light.
How can I ever ask for his blessings when I have not the wisdom to understand compassion even when I disagree with methods. How can I ever ask for his light to shine with me when I darken souls by rejecting to aid them when they ask?
Though it pains me within to walk and watch life ending, should I not also be happy that life is being lived as well? The more I think about it the more confused I become and I am understanding that I have become a judge against all I see that feels wrong. It is not my place too judge, it is my place to comfort and protect as I am called to, as I am asked. I am called to be a beacon of My Caring Light's wisdom and yet I have so much to learn about what that means.
Please Mom and Dad should you have a chance to speak with My Caring Light, please tell him, that I am trying but I do need a little guidance.
Your Loving Daughter Always.
Elohanna Min A'Litae
-
So its finally happened, I should be happy for Krys, and I am, but he is finally moving on with his life too. He has found a beautiful and sweet elf to him his heart has committed to, and while I should be happy it also makes me worried.
I love Krys and I can think of no one else who deserves to be happy, but what worries me is if she will try to take my place as my childrens mother. When I received the letter to come home I believed that something had happened and the letter refused to elaborate on my way home, no matter how much I wished to will it to reveal the secrets kept so far away, none would surface until I walked into the home of the Dawnstars.
There she was kissing him, and they looked so happy together, even the children appeared happy. Clarisse most of all, Corinth was off playing in his room. The house had been expanded and now all of the children have their own rooms.
I was so happy to see them all so happy and growing up, growing like beautiful roses in a garden of happiness and joy, embracing family. A feeling admittedly that I miss to. Even Andrew has been embracing it more with Ty, and I feel as if sometimes I am being pushed away from them all. I know it is just fear getting the better of me, fear that I know as a trial in my life . Aeridin has blessed me with beautiful children, a happy home, and his unending will to see life flourish. He has given me these gifts so that I can share with others the wisdom he has taught me, that without trials, without sacrifice, without death, we can not truly grasp what it means to be blessed with gifts that we often times overlook.
He blessed me with Andrews love, and the wisdom of his understanding. He has blessed me with Omer and his unending love and friendship. I pray every day that he helps me share his wisdom with those I come across. I pray that he leads my heart to touch my friends who suffer every day from the distance of their loved ones and to comfort their hearts to know that, even with distance, they should not give up hope they will find their love again.
I pray that Aeridin shines his love and wisdom into Daniel Benjamin's heart and reassures him that his beloved will again return to him. I know that I do not hold all the answers, but I do have experiences that have taught me lessons, that have taken years to learn, that hopefully will reassure my friends that though there may be doubt, there is always hope.
~Elohanna Min A'Litae
Daughter of the Light
-
A cheerful day greeted us both, before we even realized the other was there, sitting within the shadow of the memorial, the wind gently blew across our flesh. I had not even known he was there until he spoke up.
"Who is this vision of white?" He hummed whimsically and reach to hug me before I even had a chance to turn around, though I knew immediately by his scent of fresh cigar, sweat, and the way his breath felt across the skin of my neck.
I always love to feel his arms around me, to hear the excitement in his voice letting me know that he misses me. "Hello, My Priestess." He is always so encouraging even if at the moment I had not felt that I deserved such a title, and did not at that moment feel that I was ready. Truly a beacon of My Healing Light shines so much brighter than I could. I felt as a child of my own faith, though I had in my heart always felt Aeridin's blessings in my life. Andrew always had a way of reassuring me that I was on the right path and he is proud of the choices I have made.
With our hands clasped together we walked quietly simply happy to be in each others presense, making our way eventually to the docks of Port Hempstead only to find that in our idleness, we should find Sister Keerrie Vlaask speaking with Corlean . Their voices reaching our ears as we sat along the docks playfully splashing each other.
I almost immediately recognized her voice from our time spent together in North Point, she has been a wonderful mentor and sister of faith. It has been with her guidance that I have found my own way, away from the senseless slaughter that used to be so common place in my life. It is with her aid and that of Father Ledinos, My Healing Lights Grace and Andrews unending faith in me that I have continued to persue my path into the warm and comforting embrace that will lead me to share My Healing Lights Message with others I meet.
Without even a second thought I had invited Sister Vlaask back to the Angels, to spend the night rather than staying in the noisey and rather uncomfortable beds that the Scamps Mug had to offer. How could I ever let those I love be anywhere but in the warming embrace of my home or that of Shelter I have available.
As we walked back to the Angels, The captains men and Andrew helped to carry her chests with us as we made our way. Andrew as always so sweet and such a gentlemen. He is such a beacon of his faith, more so than I have known most others of the Heartsong, but I suppose that is part of my own problem, is that I forget sometimes it is not my place to judge, but to aid and comfort those I can, where ever I am needed.
As we sat and talked around the warmth of the fire, and shelter of the hall, we learned that it was the undead in Fort of Kings that had brought Sister Vlaask to the city, and Port Hempstead was just a stopping point for her along the way.
I know that it shocked Sister Vlaask to learn that Andrew and I are not married but that we love each other so dearly that it has never been a concern between us. I could see that Kerrie would have liked to see the guild also as a shelter for the homeless, which got my head to spinning again about some of the goals of my life that I have faltered on, the Tower Academy as the only that has come to pass.
As we took the time to talk about my own studies, my own faith, and where I felt I had fit in, or still had a long way to go, Andrew spoke up in my defense and took me completely off guard.
I could hardly see myself as having accomplished a lot in the name of My Healing light, aiding friends that have needed it, trying to use the gifts that I had been granted already through my studies of the Al'noth and just the lessons I have learned of My Healing Light and his will for us, to comfort those I could. There still felt and feels in my heart as if there is much more I had and have yet to do and barely scraped the surface of what is possible.
I spoke of my aid to the hospital in Krandor but still as if the weight of the world was judging me and I could not live up to the expectations of those of my own faith.
For awhile the conversation turned from me to Andrews own stance and beliefs, and that I have had an impression on my beloved Symphonies life. While we may not always agree he does try to see the world from my own perspective and find alternatives where he can to avoid senseless killing.
Then the question came, if Andrew would choose my own Healing Light over that of Ilsare and never in an eternity would I have even considered asking him to change who he is because I know how much his Heartsong means to him and has been part of his life so completely. Ilsare means as much to him as My Healing Light does to me, and I could not and would not dare to ask him to change who he is.
I listened as they spoke as Sister Vlaask asked, "Elohanna How does it make you feel to hear that from someone you love?" Andrews reply, that since knowing me he has changed, and indeed he has, reassured me that even though I may not see myself as making an impact in those around me, that I am. If even in the smallest of ways, it made me also realize that there are others around me that are trying to understand and change their ways away from the easy ways of the blade, the bow, even the arcane ways of the Al'noth.
"Would you be happier just believing in Aeridin, and continue to do his work without having to dedicate yourself unquestioningly to him?" Her voice rang in my ears again as if Father Leidanos' did, as if they doubted me, as if they did not believe in me, or it is perhaps that they felt and could see the doubt I held in my heart too.
I remembered thought that this was not my choice, it is not there own, it is not their doubts, but it is the belief that Aeridin has in me, to come to me in the most unexpected ways and when I needed him most to call on me to be his Daughter, and share his light with those who need him as much as I do.
"No Sister Kerrie, I would not. My heart is dedicated to him unquestioningly. He has called me in so many ways to take him into my heart completely, I can not ignore his calling, or I might abandon him completely and I can not. He has guided me this way for a reason." I felt as if in that moment completely alone except that Aeridin and myself understood how much love resided in me to keep pursuing my calling.
"You must understand, I am not questioning your faith." She continued. "It is just that I have taken the deepest of oaths, to become a Sister of Mercy, in his faith. It is that standard by which I judge." There she said it. I know she is protecting our faith, our calling to serve and that those who are called to be his chosen will not do so idly but purely of heart, and understanding that such a path is not easily followed. I was not angry with her, but felt more as if I could not accurately convey my feelings as I wished I could to let her know how my heart felt.
"I know Sister Kerrie that you must be sure that my heart is pure for him, but surely Aeridin knows that I am. It is him that chooses his beacons, and I may not be the brightest but I am his." In that moment I didn't know what else to say to her, or what more I could do, when Andrew spoke up.
"If I may? Minu has chosen a diffucult path, as you know. Many of the people we associate with do not agree with her. Yet she maintains her efforts. She does not back down when we travel and they would kill through something because it is easier." He continued his voice confident and sure, and unwavering and I wanted to kiss him for being my voice when I needed it most. "She speaks, she argues, she risks her own friendships in Aeridin's name. I have seen it and I've seen how hart it is on her -- but she doesn't back down. Just thought it bore saying." I couldn't help but be stunned and smile at Andrew.
Then came my sisters next question directed at him. "How have her actions affected you then?"
Andrews ran a thumb over his upper lip, and spoke clearly. "I avoid death, when I can. As I said, when there is a situation that I know would go poorly -- goblins, for example -- I use my song of invisibility or sneak." There, one of the reasons I love Andrew so dearly. He does not think as most others do. "I do not kill animals unless I need the meat and skin. Both. I use my hold spell...a lot." He smiled again, "and I try to help others avoid bloodshed." His next words sounded strange as if he could not be speaking of me. "I'm not perfect, I'm not Minu, but she's helped me to see some things differently." He shrugged at that. "That justification is just that."
To that she only said. "I see."
There was not much emotion in her reply to let me know what she was thinking, but my voice did finally find itself. "I can try to show them the way, that there are other options to peaceful solutions but the final decision is theirs to make. Andrew understands there are other ways when possible, others are still to stubborn."
As if it finally hit me though, Sister had spoken while I had been entranced by the voice of Andrew. "I dreamed about you, Elohanna."
"You dreamed of me?" She had my attention more so than ever before. "I did. And I didn't know what it meant."
"May I ask what the dreams was about?" I was worried as no one has ever had a dream about me that has been spoken to me.
"Certainly. Do you mind if Andrew hears it?" How could I mind if Andrew heard, he had just been my voice, and I shared everything with him. "Not at all, I do not keep secrets from Andrew." Andrew smiled and again I wanted to take him into a warm embrace and just hold him regardless to let him know I loved him so much.
"It was myself and you, we stood on opposite sides of a large field, almost like a battlefield, I was dressed in long white robes made of feathers. And you were dressed in grey. Gray robes with a belt of red satin." As I listened intently she continued. "In my hand was a staff, a golden staff, with an oak leaf at the tip, and in yours was a bow, a longbow. Bodies littered the field between us, each one with an arrow through it's heart."
Listening to her pained me, as I could never imagine standing against her or My Healing Light but I realized that for so long I had been, and the tears clung at the edges of my own eyes.
She continued though, "As I would raise each one, another would fall, I thought we would battle, as you were the one landing each kill. They were innocents, unarmed. Yet you continued to kill. When we met, you laid the longbow at my feet. You begged me for forgiveness as you shed tears onto the earth." I understood her in that moment and wanted nothing more than to show her. I was no longer a follower, but a true believer of the ways of My Healing Light, and in taking this path, he was healing me, he was restoring his faith in me. He had forgiven me. That is what it felt like to me, until her question came. "Do you know what it means?"
I wanted to say so much to reassure Sister's faith in me was not misplaced and it sounded inadequate what came out of my lips, "I gave up my bow long ago before I sought out Father Leidanos before I began my path to Aeridin." How is it that my own words sound so feeble? "I walked into the temple to bear my soul to him, to ask forgiveness from him, from our Beloved Healing Light, for all the pain I have caused, to change. To Become one of our Beloveds Chosen and show others there are other ways to killing. There are other solutions to be found. Though not easy, there are other ways."
She spoke up, again, thankfully to stop me from rambling on. "I think Aeridin gave me this dream, Elohanna, as a message. As my guide, and why I should believe in you." She wiped a tear from her cheek. "I do believe in you Elohanna." I could not help but in that moment feel that our lives were both touched by pain and forgiveness, My regret and love. I moved closer to her.
"Please do Sister Kerrie." My tears hung there at my eyes and I found myself as in the dream kneeling in front of my sister. "May I?" She asked as she took my necklace as I offered it to her willingly with trembling hands.
As she held the amulet tightly in her hands, she ran her fingers over the gem delicately, Andrews voice brought such comfort and love into my heart. The tears only continued to fall as I listened to her speak a prayer to our beloved Healing Light. "Aeridin, bless this amulet with your light and wisdom, protect Elohanna as she acts as a beacon of hope for that that do not hold the light as truth, help her to respect life and all that is good to this world, to seek out your love and mercy, giving those the mercy and love that they so desperately need and cherish. I do this in your name. Guide her and love her as your own."
The love and warmth in the room could be felt as if a warm blanket had wrapped itself around all of us, reassuring us that we loved and part of our Healing Lights will to help to go out into the world and spread his message.
That day was the last I would see of Sister Kerrie as I knew her, a true beacon of My Healing Light, as she declined the offer to allow me to go with her to the Fort of Kings.
When I found out she was slain by Sebian, a fallen of Pyrethecon, and he has visited my home in Fort Llast threatening myself and those I love. He threatened the people of the Fort of Kings, that if I come there that he will kill more innocents. Andrew, Caerwyn and others have offered to discreetly offer their aid but it has been quiet since I have not persisted in making my presence in the Fort. Admittedly I am concerned that more than anything Aeridin's presence is needed there, for the people who find comfort in his aid.
The church itself has refused to become involved and now only those willing to step outside the will of the church are those who can lend aid, and Andrew has offered me a way to come closer to the people, in an offer I simply can not refuse, so I am selling the house in Fort Llast to my apprentice SehKy, so that I know my friends are taken care of and will not have to move. Feawen and Shadowleaf need a stable home especially after their trying ordeal with the triplets. I can understand the pain that they are going through and though Feawen tries to remain strong the tears can be seen, Melaa will be happy growing up in Fort Llast, and I will be moving to Alindor, to the Silver Buckle, to serve as head chef but also to be closer to those who I know I can help.
I have also chosen to leave the Angel's guild, before I have found the time to write this, though I do leave them as friends. Our paths are much different than what they used to be. I wish them all well and that Aeridin's Light will always shine upon them, and they will not forget that I am here for them should they need me.
In My Healing Lights loving warmth may we all be held always
Elohanna Min A'Litae
(Daughter of the Light)
Priestess of Aeridin
-
A letter is dropped off with supplies at the closest drop-off point to Hlint he can get to. The penmanship is hasty, a touch desperate. Enclosed with the letter are lyrics and sheet music of a new song written for piano.
Minu
I am here, or close to where your "here" is, dropping off all the supplies we gathered for the clinic and a few barrels of water. KART is here at the drop-off point as well; they have considerably more supplies and relief is flooding in so you can focus on a cure.
I wish I could be in there with you, love. I would beg permission to enter and sing for you and the Sisters if it were not for the situation with Ty and Tyra, as I told you; she's taking less and less care of him, and I more and more. I can't even be sure she will answer Autumn's letter and as much as I trust Heloise she should not be imposed upon to babysit in a manner to make her a surrogate mother when she is just stepping into adult shoes herself. The end result is I must return to the Inn soon, and will content myself with pacing here and squinting at the walls, hoping to catch a glimpse of you. But by the Muse, I wish I could be in there by your side.
You asked for descriptions of the events, and I am ashamed to say I cannot give much in the way of specifics for reasons that will be apparent in a moment. Here is what I remember:
Moraken's tower was under attack by the Cult and I got word when a ship came into the harbor bearing the news. I made arrangements and moved as fast as I could to the shrine. I was promptly directed off to said tower, where the battle had been raging for some time.
Outside the Tower were gathered a group of our peers as I have not seen since the meeting in the Great Forest. They were preparing a break-in of the protective magics around the Tower; the magic was layered and mixed so thick it scraped my skin as we moved through, or so it felt. I remember the magical energies were powerful enough to cause the ground to fog - again, as it seemed to me. No one seemed to have any ill effects or reactions to this but I was preoccupied with protecting - let me say, "protecting" as we both know what I'm worth in a fight - Hayley and Kylie Copperstone.
We moved in and the fronters cleared a large number of drach from the bottom rooms of the tower. I sang, of course, and ran away when anything so much as looked at me funny. One does get tired of being a wimp but I suppose it's better than the feeling of your soul's tethers being ripped from you.
At a lull in the fighting a plan was formulated to take the upper levels and while it was noble and right, I felt I should be at the shrine, defending for Ilsare in the event the town was attacked. Word came that the Cult forces were split and some were in fact headed toward Hlint, and so it was agreed and a few of us headed back; the Copperstones, myself, Daniella, Razerium, a dwarf or two. I regret I cannot recall which one but the only ones I can reliably recognize with a helm on are Argali and Gorm, and Gorm only because of his kilt.
We had limited time to prepare when they struck, not from Moraken's side of the forest but from the Haven side. I remember a crush of bodies, singing, magic, a green fog - did I imagine that? No, I'm sure I saw it - and screaming before I was sandwiched between a group of Hlint defenders taking down a drach on my one side and a drach swinging at me on my other. I was trapped, I could not move. Even my vaulted dexterity was of no help since there was no place to go that did not have a body blocking it, although they could not have been aware of the effects of their phalanx. I was cut to ribbons but still on my feet when I staggered through a break in the defenders and ran straight into a meteor shower. Not a friendly one, I might add. And from then until Kylie called back in the name of Beryl - which surely I don't mind, Beryl being a kind and most generous goddess - I remember nothing.
I found out later that Razeriem had made the call on leaving me "dirt-napping" in that place between life and death we stonebound inhabit all too often. I won't pretend it wasn't an embarrassment to find that your friends feel you better off dead than alive in a fight. That took a lot of wind from my sails and still bothers me, honestly. I must redouble my rapier practice.
The area was packed with bodies when I was brought back, all needing attending. I gave my body to my shrine, hands, feet and voice, to sing and stanch wounds and do what I could. Again I can offer little as my knowledge of non-magical healing is weak. I saw a lot of jagged claw-slashes, a lot of open wounds, I sang a few men to their final rest in the name of Ilsare. I alongside Daniella did a eulogy for the hundred or so defenders who fell. She asked me to, which was a surprise - I didn't know she even knew my name before then, having only ever called me "Ilsarian" prior. Yet we stood together to pay respects and I sang a prayer to the bodies. I am enclosing the words, you will recognize the beginning, and another song as well for you.
The willow speaks
And I ignore
Your eyes are fixed far past the shore
And I can't bear what is in store
While wind the willow sings
We had our fight
Some of us fell
Too many here who cannot tell
And those who stand respect you well
As the willow sings
We stood together and bled to hold your walls
While the magics blew around us all
And now we sing you to your Godly chorus
You before
We light the pyres
And bear the heat of funeral fires
The tears evaporate on our cheeks
Knowing you are far from reach
As the willow sings
I apologize for the meter, it was made up on the spot. I may refine it later.
After regaining my lung function, I remember organizing a moving of the wounded from the open shrine to the Wild Surge so they had protection from aerial attacks and the elements. I remember the flight of drakes that we thought were initially the enemy, and how utterly majestic they seemed when we realized they were not Cult -- slices of icy grace against a sky shot through with magic, gliding overhead as white as pure salvation. We all cheered as they headed for the magic-shrouded tower and I grabbed that sudden burst of relief and sang it through to ease the minds of those around me. That time, I think I had an effect.
From that point until I left I was a go-for, a third or forth pair of hands and I did as Amen and the others bid me, all the while singing. I have no recollection of problems before I left or of indications of illness that seemed unusual, but I will think again and try to recall if anything might have stood out that I did not have the time or energy to think over right then.
Minu, as unnecessary as this is, be careful. I believe in you, in your reason for being there, and yet I am sick with worry that you will become infected before you and your Sisters can find a cure. I am past the point where I can even imagine living without you. You are my sun. Please be careful in there. Please come back to me.
Love,
Tashe
-
Sitting on the balcony of the courthouse, under the brightly shining moonlight, a letter is scribed in delicate flowing writing, familar to its recipient.
My Dearest Love,
I do not know what tomorrow will bring us but I do know that I have much to say that to often we simply do not have the time to convey to each other with the distance that seperates us. So I will say it here so that should My Lifebringer call me home, you know how it is I feel.
What I would miss if I passed away today.
I would miss dearly the scent of your hair, the sound of your breath, the warmth of your embrace. The sound of your voice as you sing perfect harmonies to lift my spirits. The way you know when something is bothering me without me saying a word, and without a word the way you just hold me and let me ramble or hush me with the tip of your finger, the way you rub my feet, my body and know that I will melt into your care and all my troubles will come spilling out for you to ease the sorrow that fills my heart.
While you were gone I missed you, I missed your touch, I missed your kiss, I missed your warmth and even the scratchiness of your chin whiskers that I to often protest so much about. I missed you, and the unyielding, unending love I know without a doubt shines on me and warms me from within. So often I do not say what it is, that is on my mind, to anyone other than you. Though I know my Lifebringer knows that it is you that brings me to life.
It is you that has stood by me in the most trying of times, you have seen me at my worst and still loved me without a second thought. It is you that has not set an expectation on me but helped me see that I need to place expectations on myself, not only expectations but placed in me desires to become more than I am.
It is through you I see vision, it is you I see the flame of passion of not only the love and lust that flares between us each time we are together, but the desire to be more to the world around us, and take each day with the same passion and grow in who we can become together.
It is my worst fear that I would become complacent in my actions, that I would let my dreams fade away, that I would simply cease to be and fail to live. I can see through your eyes though that you would not let that happen. You are an inspiration, and a true work of art that I do not thinking anyone other than the Muse herself could understand. It is your simple willingness and desire to understand those around you that makes you so complex because you are willing.
My Dear Tashe you asked me to call you by your true name, and I am honored, I am blessed, and without a doubt no trial that we face together will it be to much. Even when seperated it is our love for each other that reminds us what we have to live for. You, Tyr'riel, our love for our friends and family. Our passion to help others and bring to them the beauty of the world.
You see through my eyes, and feel my pain as if your own, you have wond yourself so deeply into my life, as if each breath I take is your own. My soul belongs to you.
My Love I fight for you, for our family, for our friends, because I realize that with all of your aid, we will find a way to help the people we are called to help. I realize that with the Lifebringer, death will not be the end for anyone. I am tired some days pass as they pass without an answer, but I have an answer already. That love is my strength. You know that is what brings me here.
Over the last year, there have been tears between us shed over lost love ones. There have been confessions of trists that though were one night stands, still our hearts know so well that they mattered, and they are part of who we are. There is not one thing you could do that would stop me from loving you. I treasure you for who you are, for each imperfection makes you perfect to me. And if I were to pass away today I would miss you most of all but I know that it is you who completes me this day.
Where I to pass away this day I know that you would understand that my life was not about possessions, but rather a spirit of unconditional love that wishes to be understood by all of those around us. That it is this spirit that needs to be shared by all. Would I pass away today, it would not be about the tears that would be shed, it would be about the lives saved that go on, and the ripples of their lives that have the potential to make a difference. It is a spirit of embracing all life that I would wish to leave as a legacy. So in my thoughts of what I would miss if I were to pass away today, it would be leaving you alone to teach others what I have instilled so deeply in you.
Should I pass away today though, it is my dream and hope that you would continue to live and love as you do today, with all your heart, with the spirit of music and your Muse' inspiration. That you never loose sight of the greatest gift you have been given. Love. Pure and sweet and intiatable. [/COLOR][/I]
-
He read it again and again. The letter sat on his nightstand, to be picked up at random times and put back down by shaking hands. His fingertips were stained purple. He sometimes had trouble breathing.
Love was not fair. Love, the kind he'd chased his whole life and not understood until now, comfortably into his forties, was a continent away surrounded by disease and not sure if she would live. If there was a lesson here he didn't want to learn it. Michael and Edward gave him room, and Paddy was (as usual) around but no where to be seen, but Heloise - dear Heloise, fast becoming like a baby sister to him - stayed close and watched him with her huge brown eyes.
He wasn't his usual kind self, nor funny, nor charming, nor anything. Just busy. Busy enough to bury his worry. He practiced his rapier moves and did a lesson with Ty, did some schooling with the boy, checked some brewing. Went over plans again and again for the tavern, which had new back walls and the gamboling area done. Anything to keep his mind off her, and how much he missed her.
But night came and he ran out of distractions. His kids, as he though of the young employees of his tavern, were home and the tavern shut up. He'd gone hoarse trying to sing himself calm. There was nothing left to pull his attention elsewhere. He was out of drugs.
He picked the letter up again.
-
Sitting atop the overlook of the Hlint Courthouse, trying to keep out from under foot of Sister Moonriver, Elly writes in her journal, taking longer than normal as she tries to focus.
I spoke with Leaf and My Beloved Tashe, recently. They stop by and keep me apprised of what is happening beyond the walls. They have told me that they have made contact with our friends who specialize with poisons and they have agreed to help. Now its a matter of waiting. Though I am not sure how much longer those supplies we have will hold out.
The temporary cure that Sister Moonriver was able to come up with only seems to aid those of my race by slowing the illness to a standstill but not to cure it completely. I still feel tired a lot of the time, the fever comes and goes and sometimes for days I don't feel like I want to move. My own skin is pink and raw in places from where it itches though I try my best not to scratch. I can't help it. I find it hard to concentrate and sometimes feel as though I am getting into Sister Moonriver's way, though she tries her best to reassure me that I am not and accepts what aid I am able to offer graciously. From time to time she takes samples of my blood to understand how the illness is progressing or not.
Nokka is keeping an eye out for Lianna's return, and life outside the walls seems to continue on while we have come to a standstill. I find it hard to watch each day as more of those with the illness succomb and their bodies are burned. Some days I climb to the top of the courthouse and let the tears fall for each of the lost, and pray that my Lifebringer gives us some insight that we have lost sight of, in order to aid those still hanging on. I try to give them hope that that cure will be found soon, but hope is hard to hang onto when the sickness takes those you love from you.
There are some days I am scared that I may not make it. Then I remember why I am doing all of this. Andrew's gentle reminder, through the voices of my own children, telling me how much they miss me and love me. How much he misses and loves me I can feel like a gentle blanket wrapped around me. Andrew tells me of Heloise's excitement to work in the clinic, and how she has been making sure the shelves and beds are readied. I am thrilled to have her passion and have her as an aid when I am able to return home. He tells me the remodeling of the Inn is coming along, and there is not much more left to do but there is a lot of cleaning before it can properly open. I wish I could be there searching for berries, making pies, being covered from head to foot in flour. I wish I could hold Ty'riel and let him know how much he is loved. I know the truth has been hard for him, and being in a strange land even harder.
Clarisse is becoming such a beautiful young lady, her brothers Coreth and Auhry are growing into such strong men. Ty'riel looks so sad in his eyes, and it makes me sad that I can not reassure him, how much his father and mother love him. I want to hold them all again, and never let go. My Dearest Lifebringer, I know this is a trial to see if I will loose faith in you. I will never loose faith in you, but I can not deny how much it hurts to see so much suffering because of the actions of the Cult. Even if Omer is able to discover who did this, it will not change what has happened.
For now though I must return to Sister Moonrivers side and help where I can. At least I don't have to fear holding the sick anymore, that is perhaps the best thing I can do right now is offer a comforting hold to those suffering, and wipe away their tears, and sooth their pain as much as I can. I know that Sister Moonriver doesn't like how close I am, or that I am investing so much of myself to them, but she understands too. I know that if it were myself, suffering so much that I would wish nothing more than to have the arms of someone who loves me wrapped around me.
Please come back soon my friends. We need your help. We need those helping to come together again with an answer to our prayers.
-
It has been months since I left the walls of Hlint, with one purpose that I pray Aeridin would guide my steps the way they were meant to. My Beloved Healing Light has shown me the way again and continues to strengthen my faith even more.
Tashe has been like a beacon through all the pain, encouraging me, loving and patient. He has never left my side, even when he had to leave to help our friends. He left Bella with me, to remind me he is with me always.
I feel horrible that I was not able to tell Nokka before I left that I was going. I hope that Sister Moonriver was able to tell him something. It does not seem fair that he should be locked behind the walls while I sit here in the Inn. I know Nokka wishes to be on the front, and I pray that he has not fallen ill. He is truly a protector though, a warrior fighting for a good cause and I hope he can see that.
Soon though, with Xora's aid the cure will see its way to Hlint. I can still hear it in xora's voice, that she does not want me to leave. So I am resigned to stay at her Tower for awhile. It seems within her tower is where I am called to be, to help with the cure for Hlint, and the Dreamers as well.
At least for a moment I was able to visit home, even if no one knows I was there. The Silver Buckle is so beautiful and the Kitchen is more than I ever expected, a sanctuary to cook the most wonderful dishes.
Sweet Heloise has worked so hard the clinic as well to make perfect for me. I can not wait to have the chance to show her more. To show her some of the most simple remedies. I can not wait to see the reaction of Mariner's Hold to have our presense back in Alindor. It may be a step to getting us back to the Fort of Kings as well.
So large is the Buckle that it seems as if it is a city unto itself. The paintings each a story that seems to need told. Statues of figures that beg the artist to create more. I am happy to see that Razariem has contributed to the beauty of the Inn.
The outdoors have truly come inside with all the flowers and vases bring a heavenly scent along with it, that only the scents from the kitchen can compare with. It is a nice reprieve from the smell that sometimes wafts in from the warf when the doors open.
It makes me also smile when I see Tashe frustrated with the doors. The Silver Buckle has so much of his personality all over it, I feel like even though he is not there. He is. The scent of his cigars and sandlewood linger on our pillows. The sounds of music resonate through the walls from below, though not harshly, but softly as if the wind were blowing over a field of reeds, and add to the harmony and perfection of our home.
When I am back I can finally sell the house in Fort Llast, as I am sure Sehky will be more than happy to know, and complete the move. I will miss being so close to the temple, to Argos, though he is hardly home. Leaf and Feawen, along with Melaa have moved to Krandor and I could not be happier for them. Thankfully there is not much more to move out the house.
I can not wait for the children to be home again and hold them in my arms. I miss them so desperately it aches within my heart, more than the pain of this illness in my muscles ever could.
Please My Healing Light keep them safe and well for me. Give them strength to endure this seperation. Comfort them that it will not be much longer until we are all a family again.
I give to you my life freely and trust myself to your care. I glad endure any pain to walk the path you call me to follow. I am eternally your daughter of light.
~Elohanna
-
The house is sold, I have finalized the proper documents with the town of Fort Llast and now it is a home for Sehky to build with is beloved, and our friends who continue to live there.
My Heart aches though with everyday that goes buy waiting for the cure to be delivered to Hlint. It aches so much to be there that it is sometimes difficult to see straight. So much that I want to scream and I find it more difficult each day to be patient when so many have been lost and more may not be able to fight much longer.
I pray My Healing Light that you give me the strength to endure the pain, and the strength to keep true to the path I have before me. I know that before I did not know where my path may lead me, but now I know where my path should be and I can not walk it because it will put many at risk.
I can feel my strength returning and with it my impatience that doing nothing is not what I should be doing. I know that right now I have to have faith in you to guide my steps, and protect me to do what I am called to do, it is just difficult my Healing Light.
-
The dreams have been hard, seeing those I care about perish without me being able to do anything to help them. I see the flames taking their bodies to prevent the contamination from spreading. I see their faces each one, pleading for help until the blanket of unconsciousness closes their eyes and they suffer silently until finally their last painful breath is made. It is no way to die for anyone. Such suffering they did not deserve.
Sister Moonriver and I have tried everything we could to try to cure them until the only thing left was to make a choice. To find the cure, I was allowed to leave. With her permission the guards let me slip out into the fields only to vanish without a word to any others. Perhaps it is best that is how it had to be, but it is no less painful to know that now, Sister Moonriver has one less hand to aid her. I am still unsure what will happen once the testing begins here at Xora's but I pray my Healing Light has provided us with the much needed answer to save those lives we can.
-
I don't remember much during the time I spent recovering in Xora's tower, only pain and pokes and movements that did not feel my own, my mind wandering between dreams and consciousness to what seemed an unending darkness, the tingling of bile building as nothing would stay settled in my stomach.
I remember song, peaceful soft melodies that reminded me of my beloved. I remember the sounds of my owns children's voices speaking to me from visions through the gates of Hlint. I remember the feeling of hope of seeing them all again. I remember leafing through pages of notes, of my own sisters trying to determine the path to the cure, and then nothing, nothing but blackness till finally the sunshine started to filter into my thoughts, ideas of warmth, the building depth of breath as I was able to take deeper breaths after so long of barely being able to breath through the pain, the relief of itching that had faded as the skin began to mend while I had been forced to sleep.
I remember that in all my dreams, I felt my Lifebringer holding my hand, I could hear the sound of my mothers voice. I could feel her arms wrapped around me comfortingly, and not only hers but my fathers too. I could see Sister Vlassk encouraging me, then it would all go black again. For the longest time as much as I wanted to wake the veil of darkness held me in place.
How long I was there like that much a mystery until I regained enough strength through the constant care of my own sisters and Xora to finally begin to form thoughts coherent enough to even ask the questions, where I was, as nothing made any sense to begin, just a fog the enveloped me.
-
The world of Layonara spins in the infinite universe where our lives revolve around what we see in front of our faces without looking to see the rest of the world in its entirety or understand the complexities or simplicities for that matter of the universe. The world simply revolves around us. Our wants, our needs Our desires to love, to protect that which is insignificant when put in perspective.
That is until its existence blinks out of view in front of you and your world becomes painfully small, where you can not feel or touch the warmth of the world around you. All to often we take for granted the simplest touch, the warmth of a smile, the ability to do our God's will with the power of his healing touch to bring the warmth by the power of the sun filling us with a comforting presense of a familiar friend.
We all to often forget the power in an honest hug, in listening to the heart that is breaking, in the sound of a child's laughter until it is taken away from us. I promised to preserve and protect, to bring comfort to the heart when it is in need, to remind others that we must embrace each moment for the pain and joy that each moment gains us the perspective to appreciate what we have been given.
How is it then, that I can not comfort his heart when the chance was never given to him to understand what it is like to choose to love someone and have children together.
I want to take his pain away but it is pain he needs to understand as well to appreciate what he has been given. I wanted him to forgive me but only because it would ease my heart when I need to appreciate that he has every right to hate and love me in the same breath, though he isn't angry at me, and that is so hard to wrap my mind around.
When in one moment your dreams have come true and the next they are shattered in front of you. I have been there, I have felt the hope of a dream and felt it torn brutallly from me. I want him to hate me for what I can not give him because it would bring me comfort but the truth is, it is not what I should receive, his heart needs consoling and understanding. His heart needs to know that hope is alive even in the middle of pain, that though the world seems so small and unforgiving, that beyond that, is a world of warmth that has yet to be realized.
-
The night was a success for the first Bake Sale of the Silver Buckle, had the notices been posted sooner, I am sure more would have been able to attend but we managed to raise 32,000 true for the recovery of Kuhl, which is amazing the generosity! The guild was even able to make a few sales, which was again encouraging. I enjoyed seeing Ferrit there and all of us becoming a family again, after everything that has happened, most of which was my own fault, for failing to trust in my friends and hiding things.
I should still be happy that everything went well yet I am not, a visitor came, Aesthir Stargazer, I remember bits of our first meeting but some things are coming back to me slower than others. He is Lance's son, and Argos's brother and a brother to Daniel in faith, though there is such tension between them both that I can not understand it. They serve the same Protector. Yet there is something that Aesthir holds back, and I am not sure how to take it.
He came for the event but due to the lateness of his boat he missed it. I had hoped that he would have still made a donation to the cause, but that did not seem to be the intent of his visit either. He seems to be particularly drawn to to the discomfort of others and I am not sure why. Even the Commander Stormhaven I could see what not at ease around him. I do remember though the warning of Daniel that Aesthir may have been investigating the Silver Buckle as Tyra had sought us out before she was taken into custody.
I felt as if for a time I had committed some crime and I was on trial. Yet I did not do anything. Maybe that is it, maybe I should have known more, I should have been there with the others when the attack happened in Krandor. I need to do more to restore faith and hope to the people again. I have been so focused on trying to bring the clinic here in Alindor to life that I am missing that the people of Krandor need to know the comfort and safety again, when they have been through so much over the years. The tsuanami first and then the dark elf that was in their midst if only for a short amount of time. And the paralyzing fear they must have now from the unintentional attack of my beloved to their perception of what safety should be.
I must speak with my friends Feawen and Leaf, and see if possible if Andrew can enlighten me to what is happening. I need to know and we must work together in order to restore the faith and hope in our cause to the people. They need to feel we are a safe haven for them.
Why did it concern Aesthir though so much whether or not the event had been a success or not? He still never answered my question more than his name, other than to try to remind me of our meeting in Fort Llast and in Miritrix. I wish I could remember, but it eludes me just now, as if a block has gone up in my own mind no matter how hard I try to picture his face in my mind.
To me I picture Fort Miritrix as a time of suffering that I helped inflict on others instead of listening to my Lifebringer and trying to help save lives, it felt as if I was causing the pain I tried to help lessen. I don't like who I was then. I want to help not harm. Please My Lifebringer I know you are here to help guide me and it feels like now I need to return to Krandor, to help restore hope to the people that the Hospital is a sanctuary for them in their time of need. How can the clinic here be what it needs to be if I fail to help my friends in their time of need too.
I can not let the pain of the past keep me from moving forward and doing what is right. I can not simply bury my head into the sand and be ignorant of what is happening in the world around me. I have to learn more. I have to know so that I can be where I am needed most and I simply can not do so alone. I need all those I can ask for their aid.
I think to start I will seek out Daniel and see if he can share with me any new information that may help me before I make my way to Krandor. Please My Healing Light, help me heal the people and guide my steps to the truth and see what I need to.
-
The efforts in Krandor are still ongoing, attempts to restore the faith are slow but we hold onto hope that the mistakes of the past will help us in healing the hurt we have caused. My Beloved willingly turned himself over to the people of Krandor for their judgement and though harsh as it was, it could have been worse. He took upon himself the burden of this crime in order that it may help restore the hospitals reputation, though I know it is the last thing that Feawen and Leaf wanted, even more so seeing the pain he suffered from the inmates, it has however gained him a unique insight that there are some criminals that should be seperated from the less serious criminals.
He is home now mending his family, restoring his relationship with Ty and learning more about Clarisse as well. I was not altogether sure at first how Clarisse would react to him, though she knows that he makes me happy, but she sees in him a good man, and I have even caught her once or twice listening from around the corner of the clinic to the music as he sings, humming along quietly.
My family, Andrew, Ty, Clarisse, all means so much to me that I would do anything to protect them. They are gifts from my Healing Light, still so much has happened that it is hard sometimes to stop and focus where I need to be most.
Krandor Hospital needs to find its way, though I am unsure that it is my place to be. I almost feel as an invader there when Feawen and ShadowLeaf need this opprotunity to strengthen their understanding of the mission behind the hospital and their own family.
The truth is, My Heart feels pulled in a differnet direction, and one that for far to long has gone ignored. Andrew has stood behind me in this, and is willing to aid me however he can, to bring back his Healing Light to the Fort of Kings.
I have sent a letter to Father Leidanos, and pray that he and the church is willing to help, that the church will not abandon the people who need us there.
Still there is much here in Mariner's Hold that has captured my immediate attention, and that is the recent disappearances, and the nests of were-rats that have been found. And the recent visit from Connor and Annalee requesting our eyes and ears. If there is anyway to help them all we must, as is the will of my Healing Light that we protect those we can and do all we can to make their lives better.
Father Leidanos was also kind enough to send Sister Bernice to us to aid Emwonk and though I am sure I have offended her without meaning to, I made a promise to Emwonk to do what I could to protect him. Hopefully once we are able to help restore his memories, I can make it up to her and help her where she needs me.
-
It will not be much longer until the blessed event in Hlint, it should be a happy time for Andrew and I both, but I feel the tension in the air. Not between us, but because we both know it could be very dangerous for all involved. Lady Saida though not invited, has obtained and invitation and intends to bring a special guest, though Andrew has said she is not invited and plans to send her a letter letting her know she is not invited, I don't think Lady Saida will take kindly to it.
Part of me wants to begin a new life with Andrew without her there, but part of me wants to also let her come to do as Andrew suggests and throw her off guard. I must be crazy, or going crazy, or growing tired of fighting with her. I know what she has done though. I know what she is capable of, and that she keeps eluding the law as she has been.. maybe that is it. Daniel needs to know she is coming. She needs to be brought to justice. I need to speak to him about this.
I am also worried that with so many invitations sent out what kind of attention it will bring. Andrew says I am wanted by Molvaren, because I lived through the plague he infected the people of Hlint with. I want our wedding day to be special, to be a celebration, to bring together the people of Hlint and show them that we can triumph if we work together. That our own survival is worth celebrating. I feel as though I may bring more harm to them than good.
My Healing Light please protect our friends, please keep us in your light as I know you always do. Our friends have been through so much already during the course of these wars, through the famine, through the attacks on their spirit. Please let the light prevail and bring comfort to their hearts. I trust in you My Healing Light, you have given me strength to survive anything, and I have faith you will keep me strong to do your works.
Daughter of Your Healing Light always,
~Elohanna Min A'Litae
-
He was captured, tortured and I know it makes you different. I know how it feels. The pain it causes within, the after effects, the nightmares, the memories that never ever go away. The draining of your life, and the sudden painful resurrection as your captors take what is most sacred from you, and then do it over and over again, until you truly wish for death because it would be more merciful than living through it over and over again.
I remember the bright sunny day that Steel and Krys stood talking at the docks, and after Steel left, Krys was there happy, beaming as he took my hand and told me I was pregnant. How could he know before me? But he knew and it was a enough that I was pregnant. But when I finally learned the full truth that I was pregnant with twins it was like Clarisse and Coreth being born all over again. It was the most beautiful moment to be held by Krys and seeing the look in his eyes.
I remember the feeling being relived in my memory over and over again only to have my heart shattered when I felt the cramping of stomach, as the acid ate away at my flesh, burning horribly, and the laughter surrounding me, as I was tortured over and over again.
It is not a feeling that ever goes away, and how can you utter the words without it tearing your soul apart again. But when I look into Tashe's eyes, and I know he has been tortured by dark elves, that he escaped with is life and he is back home, how can I convey to him that I truly do understand what he is going through.
I know he doesn't want to talk about it, but I know he needs to. I know that if he tries to handle this alone, it will eat him up inside. He will push away everyone he loves. It's as if what they did to him hurt him so much that he can't even bare my touch and it hurts to feel him push me away, but it doesn't feel as if it is only me, but Clarisse as well, Michael, Billy...
I can't let this go. I want my beloved back, I want to feel him close again and I want to see the brightness return. I want to feel the love in his heart for Ilsare, for me, for his music.
My Healing Light please give me the wisdom to help heal his heart as Krys healed mine. Help me to being Andrew's strength and be the light in his heart as he has been in mine.
-
What should have been a normal day turned into something completely unexpected. I met with Storold in Center because he had needed to speak with me. It seems he is about to leave for a very extended trip, a trip to another plane it seems to find a lost item that belongs to our world.
He wanted to let me know that there is a very good possibility that he may not return and to ask me if I would keep watch over his family to make sure they are safe. I could never refuse such as request as I value him, his family and the friendship we have. I have always been able to talk to him about anything regardless and know that he will truly listen. This time though it was my turn to listen.
And for awhile we talked, until as always happens in the middle of a heartfelt conversation, another joined us. Master Aden and we began to discuss what had been happening around Mistone. Even in center where we were, the cattle has seemed to be effected but as I learned quickly from him, the problem is more far spread across Mistone, effecting animals in Center, Hlint, The Silkwoods, Stormcrest, The Dapplegreen Outskirts, Port Hempstead Fields, and Lake Splendor. At least to my present knowledge and the information shared to me.
We have neither had the chance to visit other areas of Layonara to find out if it is just local to Mistone or further reaching. And there is simply no way to quarantine such a large area. So what I have begun to do with those animals I can find that seem to be afflicted with the signs of this plague is to take careful samples with the same protocol as Sister MoonRiver and I have used in Hlint, and encourage the burning of the bodies.
There is much testing to do once the samples and I as soon as I can I will send a letter to Sister MoonRiver to see if she is available and willing to aid us again.
So simple this would be if that is all that is happening but it is not, but as the discussion progressed around the animals and the plague, and the sleepwalking Miss Rose as Master Aden calls her, stumbled upon us all . She feels different, her ability with the Al'noth is uncontrolled, and while most people feels as if magic is on her, she seems to have an open link with the Al'noth, so much so that it has or has always been who she is.
She has said some things that make me wonder about the future though and while not everyone takes to heart divination, there is a lot to be learned from listening to those with such strong ties that can truly see the future.
Her first words were chilling and startling, 'famine.... all dead, wastelands' and she seems to talk to someone who isn't there. I am not sure if it is someone in her mind, perhaps she is crazy, or she is truly seeing something the rest of us can not and that person is trying to protect her and encourage her to do what she must to survive. Though if I had my guess they are just barely keeping her alive because she looks more frail than any time I have ever known her.
She also remembers me but she remembers me for the pain I caused her, for Andrew choosing to be with me. I hoped she would remember the kindness I have shown her and give me the chance to help her.
Storold has offered to speak with Sophia though to explain that we are trying to help, but if Xeen as Rose calls her does not trust me, I can only hope that her friend will find away to help her. I hate to see Miss Rose suffering so much.
Still there are things Miss Rose said that bear remembering and writing down because they could be very important.
'famine.... all dead, wastelands' and 'They circle and wait and watch' and 'I am a messenger' but still we don't know from who or what or why. Her reply was only that she see's time, which makes sense in a way. Her link could possibly span beyond what we can perceive, and knowing what I do of my own study of time, of divination, it is only limited by perception and the understanding of the Al'noth we have.
'It expands as a river with many paths before and behind, bending and twisting, intersecting, changing' after she took some substance that I can only guess has been used to keep her mind calm she began again 'The demon. It was the demon who laughed and then vanished, The dragons will circle like vultures over the field of battle.' and when I made the mistake of assuming there may be more than one demon involved she did correct me that there was only one and he was an observer. I could not get much more from her and surprised that I was able to get her to say as much as I did. But she did offer something that seemed more familiar 'it's the red eyes that are ever present, the stars... the red stars...watching' and when I mispoke about them being eyes trying to remember something she corrected and again called them stars.
Finally with the help of Storold and Aden we were able to get her to the inn and into a warm bed to rest for awhile. And I couldn't help but feel the need to stay with her so she would not wake without a friendly presence near her. Though I am not sure if she sees me as a friend in her lucid moments. Still all I can do is try to offer her help.
She woke with a start though as I tried to stir her from her nightmares, "The ground is red with the blood of the fallen as the red stars shine above." After this she fell asleep again and I went out to let Storold and Aden know what I had learned, that is to say very little other than Miss Rose may quite possibly be insane but also how uncontrolled her magic is, and trying to find a way to help her. I did not want to force the aid on Miss Rose though no more than I did Emwonk and tried to wake up Rose and help her understand the help I wanted to offer.
It is now left in the Hands of someone else though as Storold will have to speak with Sophia to see if they will accept. Though I am reluctant, the choice must be freely her own.
So now I wait to here the answer.
And since when did things go so terribly wrong in the world? When did my friends start to go crazy? Have I have been so out of touch? Kaelan too is seemed to loose his mind, enough so that he committed suicide outside the Tower Academy, and until just recently I had not seen any sign of him. It almost seemed as if he was seeking closure for his past, to allow a stronger Kaelan to emmerge within him, but the stronger Kaelan does not seem to have the care for any one else, he seems rather to want to hurt others, as they have hurt him and doesn't care how. To me though it feels as if the Kaelan I know is still in there, and is trying to fight his way free. Everytime I moved closer to him he would back away until finally we ended in a struggle for his hunting knife and the knife ended in his leg. All I could do was try to get it away from him and heal the wound as best I could. And then try my best to comfort my friend. I couldn't let go of him. I could not let him go and risk loosing him, no matter how much he begged me to let go. The pain in him has shattered him and I could do was try to convince him that there is still hope and love in the world. Even if he didn't believe me. Finally though I had to let go. I can only hope that he sees that he is loved and there is hope even if he can't see it now, it is still there. I truly do not believe he would have come to me, if he didn't know that deep within.
Miss Bumblebee came to me as well seeking refuge from the scary men in Center, One I am sort of familiar with that I have spoke with a few times, and while I know Aeridin doesn't care for him at all, we still converse civil. Or that is he asks the questions and I answer them. He never does seem to give more than that. As if he is feeling out his prey. For awhile she stayed with me as I went about the task in center of gathering a sample of Aden's blood and made him discard his old clothing, and made Aden promise to come to me if he started to feel out of the ordinary, and I told her I would try to seek out the true price of the gloves of care for her before we parted ways, and I finally made my way to the new store in Port Hempstead Fields.
For awhile when I first arrived there, Miss Ferrit and I spoke, at first I wasn't sure we were going to but we talked more than I believe we ever had before, and our topic of conversation came back to Andrew, and how different he has seemed lately. She gave me some suggestions of trying to determine if he was indeed different and the more I thought it about it I wondered why I had not checked him for magical effects when I first began to suspect things were off about him. His distance, his lapses in memory, his obsession with the store, his unease around me. The way he reacted to Emwonk and Tane. I should have known. But I accepted that it was because of what had happened to him in the deep that had him so unsettled. He has been through a lot and come back changed before, only the more I thought about it, I could not help but listen to Miss Ferrits words and take them to heart, that the next time I saw Andrew I had to know if he was being magically influenced.
It was his necklace, magically altered to make the man believeable. He knew so much though, even if doesn't know everything. And he truly believes he is Andrew, but now we know it is not Andrew, but an imposter, though I am not sure he even knew he taking my beloveds place. And now while I watch him sleep all I can think about is where is MY Andrew and is he okay? Is he safe and what is happening to him? I have to know! I have to find him.
-
Andrew is home again, My Andrew, my beloved Tashe, but I still can't help feeling as though I failed him and the one sent to pretend to be him by my actions, and now I do not know where he may be. Well I do, as the letter said he was going to try to find answers.
Going alone though, I promised to help him. I thought truly that if we worked together we could help him find the answers, but I also had to do what I could to help save Tashe from being harmed any further.
I would die a thousand times over to save him, to protect him. He knows that. I am sorry that it came at such a steep price though.
I know Andrew could feel it. Not my Andrew but the other. I could not love him as I love Tashe, I could not continue to pretend something that neither of us felt. He has a gentleness about him, and a deep desire to hold onto to something beautiful, but Jetta was right, to continue to encourage the lie, may have been doing him more harm.
It seems he has decided on his own as well, to find the answers. Just at what price though? I understand why he took the necklace though, and thankfully left Tashe's belongings behind. Though I know its hard on Tashe not to have lost his pendant. I know how much it means to him, his connection to Ilsare, twice blessed by his priestess, and brings him even closer to his Muse. We have to find it or try our best to replace the irreplaceable. I know it won't be easy for My Love, but we have to try, and maybe with the aid of his priestess, we can remove the taint that causes him so much pain.
Even now while he rests it is fitfull and painfull and I can see he hurts so much and for all the love I can offer him, it is not enough to keep him from the pain I wished to protect him from. I will not leave his side ever, he has been my strength since we first met and I must be here to be his.
Clarisse has been wonderful in helping to keep watch over Raina and I have been trying to keep a constant watch over both them. So far as to move Raina up into Clarisse's room so that Andrew does not have far to go to know she is alright. Clarisse has been very understanding and does everything she can to help them both along side me.
For so long Tashe was there for me when I needed him to keep me strong, and now he needs me to be strong for him. I do so freely, lovingly and devotedly. I know that Aeridin has blessed me again by returning my beloved to me, and that Ilsare's will is to see us together.
I pray now for the strength to help Tashe and Raina recover and that we can help both find peace.
-
When did life become so complicated? When did I start to let my heart and my emotions get the better of me and my passion for freedom override my respect for the law. I wanted proof, a simple request to abide by the law as much as I hated it. I would have challenged the Captain within the law, it was never my intent to risk all that I hold dear and our efforts we have worked so hard with our friends to accomplish.
When the spell was cast and the steps of the captain were heard coming into the clinic, all I could think of was that he would make things worse for us, and so I lead the man from the Clinic. I could understand his desire for freedom and I had to help him. Was I right in my methods? No but I panicked. Maybe that isn't a good excuse but in my heart I know it was the right thing to do. At what price though. Nothing comes without a price, a balance that has to be maintained.
Even if just one person has been helped from the clinic our being open has been worth it, but Father Xander is right, there are so many others that also need our help and if we are forced to close the doors, it is our friends who call the Inn home, it is the future of Mariner's Hold, it is much bigger than just a simple clinic on the streets of a town. It is a symbol of hope, and Aeridin's healing light, it is the love that flows from our hearts through Ilsare inspiration as well. It is Deliar's healing through Katelyn and Prunilla's healing songs in Melody's beautiful voice that make such a difference in a town that suffered great loss, and its brillance of Jetta, though we dare not tell her though, as her head has already swollen so much. The Hold is still reeling from the treachery of those they call neighbors.
They need a symbol of hope among the shadows and that is why we are here. Tashe stands by me no matter what my choice, Aesthirs questioning of me, were answers that were vague, truthful but vague. He has the ear of Councilman Grue and maybe with his help he can help me gain audience with him.
I dare not disturb Arelius or Clarice, they deserve the peace to live what is left of their lives together. They have missed out on so much. There is much to do and it is late, Tashe is still resting, much needed rest finally. Though for how long I am unsure. I wish I knew a way to help heal the taint the priestess put on him, but it is beyond my own expertise. Letters have been sent to Sister Bernice though, and hopefully soon she will come.
There are more thoughts to be written down by for now she simply leaves the pages of her journal open so that they can dry. Smiling as she looks back over at Andrew and their newest little mouser Griff, curled up together. She gently moves back over to the bed and pulls the blanket up over them both, rubbing gently behind Griff's ears, before she heads downstairs to her own office to write a letter.
-
As the Word began to spread through Mariners Hold and nearby communities, we began to see how great the need was in our community. How the poor had neglected their own health because they simply did not have the true to afford a healer that helped the more well to do. We were needed and I could see it.
A small boy came in with a broken arm, and it made me think of my own sons when they were his age. Watching Auhry and Coreth come running into the house, with tears in their eyes, and how my heart just melted and wished nothing more than to make their pain go away. This boy reminded me so much of them and how they were growing up to make me so proud. I could see that same love and tears of suffering his mother shared as she ushered him in, and though they didn't have any true to offer, it didn't matter, seeing how grateful they were was everything.
The local butcher paid us a visit to, though not in his normal capacity but because in his excitement and his usually skill he had become distracted by one of his customers and sliced his finger. A rather nasty cut that he came in to the inn, with a bunch of cloths holding, covered in the smell of fresh meat and his own blood. The mix made me shake my head and usher him carefully to the bed, aided by Father Xander to clean the wound, before finally stitching it up and letting him rest awhile to recover some of his strength. He was actually quite pleased at having someone cook for him and offered to bring some fresh meat by to help the inn.
And then... came Miss Anna Long and my heart wept for her. The pain in her eyes, the sadness, the shame and humility that she carried, mixed with an undying love for her husband. My heart wept for her for her own unconditional love that she held for a man that made her rely on him for her own self worth. She was defeated and beaten back, afraid to let go of a man who would cause her pain, afraid to start anew without knowing she could. She needed more than anything a hand to hold her own, and help her begin again.
My heart was torn for her, and I knew she could not stay for one more second. For her sake, for Mr Longs as well. There is no excuse for hitting your spouse. None. Not One. Ever. And finally through carefully persuasion and knowing she did not have to stand against him alone, she allowed me to speak for her. I could tell it was the toughest thing she could ever do. I just had to pray that her husband would back down when someone was not afraid of him. When his secrets were to be exposed publically. He could not win her back this time. Her broken body was no longer his to break further.
I could not believe he would try to bribe me to get her back, to beat her again. There is no price he could have paid that would have made me, make the choice to turn her over. She deserved true love, freedom, shelter and sanctuary and the chance to start over. I pray that she stays with the Tower Academy as I know that she can learn so much to help her find her way. Maybe she will pursue her art and then again maybe she will help someone else who is going through her same situation and open a shelter for them. I know for now though she is safe, well fed, and has a chance to start over, and find what true love really means.
I know I have found such with Andrew, even through our darkest times, even through the pain we both feel now, we are inseparable, in spirit and heart. Aeridin and Ilsare have indeed blessed us both, and I know, I have faith that we will find the way to remove the curse that has been placed on him.
For now we wait to see if our friends who have been there for us in the past can help us again. Emwonk has already suggested that maybe since the curse was cast by strong bards that an opposing frequency can cancel it out. I think he said it differently but I believe that is the point of it all.
I am also glad that the Church and City is now backing the Clinic as an Aid Station, even if it only while Father Xander is here, and it is the Clinic itself, not the entire Inn, but still, it provides amnesty and shelter for those who need us, when they need it most. It is as if my dreams from so long have finally been realized, and now we have a chance to do some real good.
-
When she was transported through the trap all she could feel was the cold and then all she knew was blackness. The poison overcame her quickly though she tried to fight it and its effects on her mind. She knew she had to fight it .Tashe. The one solid thought in her mind until it was just blackness.
Finally she started to regain consciousness, shivering in the cold, her flesh exposed as everything was gone, even her pendant Kerrie had given her, was gone. She could not see anything the darkness. Her wedding ring... gone. Tashe. She held onto to thoughts of his arms wrapped around her to keep the cold away. She tried to move and found it impossible as the bindings held her in place tightly, rubbing her flesh raw and just barely allowing her enough room to breath..
"Sa Irailcelv Ceviran tycaillaa iracty sa."
My Healing Light please help me
She try to ignore the pain before she blacked out again. She could not determine day from night in the darkness, she could hear the sounds of voices, cold and disgusted in tone when she was awake. At least that was her guess. The more she tried to understand the foggier her mind became. The clarity of the Mistress voice she could not mistake.
"Aeym Tymanyeeyla Ceoafmelvam nyill lean iracty aey."
Your precious Lifebringer can not help you.
The voice was unmistakably female , hateful of her, and all she stood for. It came closer to her holding a blade to her neck just behind her ear as she pulled her head back by a handful of hair to cut it away. The dark elf hissing at her as if she were the most vial creature to her. She could feel the warmth of her own blood trickle down the back of her neck from where the blade had pierced her flesh, a clear reminder of who was in charge.
"Amira ilma aey weelv anirela?"
Why are you doing this?
No reply came though, only silence. She could not feel Her LIfebringer, she tried to feel the Al'noth and found pain instead. She felt them inside her mind, not bothering to hide themselves as the looked through her memories.
She tried to block them but the pain was unabearable and she couldn't be sure if they were her thoughts or them seeking answers from her. How did she get here? Trying to think back, her mind still foggy from the poison. What was the last thing you remember?. Kaelan, Aestir and Millon in Center. A bard.. Ellan he had a daughter. She wanted to learn more about his daughter and invite them to the Inn... Tashe! Where are you!? Rose, the letter Storold sent her. Clarisse! My beautiful daughter, her memories of her children shifted through. The pain in her head was unbearable as she blacked out again.
They sifted through her mind trying to find out as much as they could, each time leaving her with unbearable headache, that made her sick. She always hated scrying, even for those she loved because of the potential to be hurt or hurt others.
The scrying into her mind went on for days brining up the memories of the vampires and how they tortured her with acid for answers until she died and then brought her back repeatedly. They continued to search for answers from her, finding out all they could about her. It all seemed like a bad nightmare that she could not wake up from. The cutting of her palm to drain a vial of her blood, and used the same knife to cut free a lock of hair behind my ear.
The memories vague, the feeling of my own blood running down my back and the sounds of fighting, The sensation of the whip and blackness of nothing, as it all faded and I felt myself drawn back to the bindstone. The pain of the light suddenly there as my eyes opened. Where am I? I awoke to his soft voice, and the moonlight overhead and even that seemed painful, after awhile of my eyes adjusting though I recognize him. My Healer wrapping me in a warm blanket, and I felt the warmth of his prayers calm and soothing. What had happened to bring me back here, the cold steel piercing me through my back was a vague memory. I was relieved to be free again.
"Shh, Take it slowly Sister." It was a few days before I regained my strength and was able to join a caravan bound for Hlint, where I took the open portal there to Center and made my way to the bank to withdraw enough true to pay for transportation to the Angel's shop in Port Hempstead. The memories of how I had gotten here pushed deep to the back of my mind. I didn't want to face them yet. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to forget for awhile. The warmth of the sun was comforting, the fresh air and scent of flowers sweet in the air. A soft cotton hood from the robes hiding my missing hair. As she stepped into the Shop in the fields she made her way inside hoping for a friendly face to be behind the counter. Slowed down by the lock, reminding her that her key was gone. What she had tried to forget, haunting her as they had taken everything from her, and put a great many people and places at risk. The Tower Academy, the Inn, The Shop, if they dug deeply enough they knew everything about her, but she was uncertain how much they knew, but they had the keys to her life. She sunk onto the bench in front of the fire place at the shop and tried to push the thoughts away, lost in the flames flicker and the crackle of the fire.
-
Dear Krys,
It is important that you know that there is a great chance that you and our children could be in danger. My memories, my thoughts, my feelings have been recently compromised, parts of me taken forcefully and it is possible a duplicate of me could have been made. I can't recall all the memories taken but you know me. I send this letter through a courier I know you can trust. I trust you to protect our children and to let them know how much I love them. Please be vigilant, be strong.
May the Light Keep you warm and shelter you!
Elly
-
Sitting in her office awaiting she reflects on the events of the last few months, and most recently on her discussion with Kaelan, holding a quill recently dipped in a vial of purple ink, and writes in her well worn journal.
Most of what I know has been revelations in the last few days. I spoke with Kaelan and he speaks of death, of finding it. I truly think he believes he has nothing left to live for after losing Calylith. He has asked me to tell her that he loved her, made mistakes, was frail and unsure how to make her feel loved. It is all he ever wanted to was to find someone to love and truly love him in return.
He is mixed up in things he ought not to be, in search of dangerous treasures I hope he does not find. I know he says he will destroy them, but if the dark one takes over, he may loose the ability to make that conscious choice.
He told me of what happened with the Dark Elf and how the Tower Academy is now involved. It is not really that we are involved but that his involvement with us, means that we have questions to answer for, to the Silverguard, which has been confirmed corrupt, but who within is the security risk?
He told me of how he sent the head of the elf to Sir Daniel, and the body was to be found by Captain Rae, the Captain I have now sent a letter to, to try to find a way to explain what has happened. I have requested audience with the Council of Port Hempstead and now the truth must be told, because it puts everyone at risk.
Why do the young run foolishly headlong into things without thinking them through? I think the only answer is that we follow our instincts and they drive us, for better or worse, in a forward motion where we are left to learn from our success and failures. We try to justify and resolve it in our mind as the right thing to do. Whether it is the right thing is left only to perception, even I have learned that lately held imprisoned in Wayfare for doing what I believed was right, and refusing to leave someone I believed needed protection. I still think she does.
Kaelan has given me much to think about though, and insight into the elves who captured me and what they may be looking for, and why the trap was set to begin with. The pieces are slowly fitting into place, the picture is growing in clarity, and although I do not think Daniel would approve of my methods, I have acquired a way to find Kaelan should it be needed. If not it will be returned to him. As he sought insurance to be protected from the sentencing of the Guard, I sought insurance as well. Aside from Daniel and Tashe though, I have told no one yet. Though I must reveal the truth to Omer, he is my oldest and dearest friend, and I trust him completely, he needs to know as this all effects the Tower Academy and our students, the city and its security, the Angels as well. Our family and friends.
Knowledge is Power and hopefully it will help us to keep bad things happening to good people.
~Elohanna
-
After making sure that there is no one scrying on her, and that protections are in place she carefully takes out her journal and begins to write.
I feel it is important to write down my thoughts now, more than ever, incase something happens to me. What started as an investigation to find those who harmed the people of Port Hempstead has now turned into a struggle to recover what they have taken from me. I fell into their trap. Whether I was their intended target or someone else, it feels now as if I am.
I have not seen Kaelan in awhile and after scribing the notes we were able to find, of the stone, and my discussion with Connor. I know I need the help of them both now, as well as Lareth, Omer, and Chakar. Though I have to rely on Jilsephonie's aid to reach them.
It pains me that I can not walk into the city but it would hurt even worse if I hurt any of them because of my presence.
Jil had though that maybe a gate spell would help us recover what they took from us but doing so is very risky, and once there, there is no guarantee that I would find all of what they took from me, and that is the problem. I am connected, my blood, my hair are part of me, the emotions bound to the Amulet, Sister Vlassk gave me, and the ring that Tashe gave me, mean the world to me. I should not hold so tightly to physical things but there are deep emotions tied to each. Love, compassion, forgiveness, memories that I cherish so much.
They are aware I know they have them. I should have not have tried to scry on my own. I was foolish to attempt scrying on my own, I was so intent to find answers, I did not even realize my protections had fallen, had Andrew not found me when he did, I hate to think what could have happened.
I have never had such a horrible headache or felt so drained since the Cults plague.
I have found that I can no longer rely on myself to find answers, but that I must rely on my friends to help me. I need their help, if they are willing. I can not do this alone. If Connor is right, then I may only have one shot at recovering what they took, and I will need the aid of everyone I can trust. He also thinks that I may be magically compromised and that I may not be able to find out until our plans are in place and he can check me to be sure. My concern is in making the plans. I have to be cautious and keep my thoughts guarded because they may lay a trap for us otherwise.
I have left myself open for even the slightest tickling in my mind to indicate the intrusion, I discount nothing and though it may seem to some I am paranoid I must keep the protections about me, to make sure they can not use me.
Thank Aeridin that Raina is now recovering, knowing she is healing gives me some peace, and knowing that the healers of the Aid Station are all gaining in their knowledge is comforting.
I have asked Jilsephonie to speak to Omer, to convey to him we need his help since I am unable to go into the city, and I know I can trust her. I hope he will agree. He has never let me down, and that this is so important. I do not think he will.
Thank you My Healing Light for giving me such great friends and companions.
Your Daughter of Light Always.
~Elly
-
A simple non detection spells lays easily at her lips recent days in an effort to protect herself and others from her thoughts being discovered by those scrying on her. Still there are thoughts that need to be written down to keep them all from cluttering her mind and getting lost in time.
-
I feel as if I am tumbling, falling down a deep chasm, into a void, where all that surrounds me is darkness. My feet searching for ground beneath me, but all they find is the air, and the further I fall, the colder I feel. As if the happiness, the light is slowly fading away. As if the darkness is searching for me and tugging me its way. The more I try to hold onto what matters the most, what I hold dear. I feel it slipping away.
I thought that maybe if I could find the things that matter most, that I would be satisfied, but now I am not even sure they are what I am searching for. I am not even sure they are so important. Things...given to me by people I hold dear, but they are things, symbols of our what we mean to each other, but the truth be told, they are not what I hold dear. It is the warmth of their embrace, the unconditional love. Their willingness to sacrifice for a friend. For me..
They willingly came to my aid because I asked them, knowing full well the risk involved, simply because I asked them. So what is it I am really searching for? I pray to Aeridin for his wisdom, and I pray for him to give me something, because I question myself...
So many questions when the only one that should be asked... is where did I leave my faith?
-
The sound of Amati warmed her heart, broke through the emotions she had felt, and had been holding in, and all she could do was lay her head in Andrew's lap while he played for her, just played what was in his heart for her. He had finally completed Amati, and it was through no help of her own. But now her beloved had found the his heart song again, and she was sure that his playing pleased his Muse as much as it did her.
Still it did not chase away the pain she felt, that she had not be able to console him as she alone believed as his wife she was meant to, she had not been able to ease that pain. She felt in that moment despite his own words, the pain he must have felt before Amati was completed, that she just was not enough to be what he needed the most, and the tears fell down her cheeks and into the leg of his pants in a steady stream.
The music of Amati was his heart lay out for her, a gift unlike any other she had heard him play before, and she was so very thankful that he had chosen not to give such a gift to Razariem, and that of everyone, he played for her Amati before anyone else had a chance to hear such beautiful music. Andrew had chosen her to hear and while she could not hear as he did, she appreciated his gift with all her heart.
She could understand now when he told her that the wood, the strings, the sounds were bathed in all that he was. She understood how he poured his love of his music and his Muse into this one delicate and temperamental part of him and how much it meant to him to share this part of himself with her, as she poured her heart and love for easing suffering into her each person she helped. She understood how much he wanted her to understand how important this meant to him.
How was it she had not truly understood her beloveds passion for Amati, until this moment, and now she was in tears. He sang for her when he wouldn't sing for anyone else, but she had not been able to truly grasp his passion, and make it her own. She had tried to convince him that even without Amati he was perfect to her and he had to find someone who understood him, and she was not that person. How could she not have understood before.
No matter how hard she tried to stop the tears, they continued to fall. A compilation of pain and love and warmth he had always been there for her through every moment she ever needed him. He played Amati for her. He played his heart for her. There could be no greater gift and she felt she did not deserve such but he did. He waited to play for her alone.
There were simply no words she could say to convey in this moment how much his gift to her meant. And there were simply no end to her tears, as he played for her. They had been through so much together and over the years, and it was if part of her heart that had been closed up without her knowing it had opened up to him and the only gift she could think to give him were her tears of understanding.