The World of Layonara

Character Development => Development Journals and Discussion => Topic started by: Xirion on September 30, 2007, 03:48:33 PM

Title: Recent Happenings (Eander Shalynn)
Post by: Xirion on September 30, 2007, 03:48:33 PM

//whereas the other CDT deals with Eander and Saira and the events with a strange darkfigure hunting them this one is about, as the headlind say, recent happenings in Eander's life

*After a few empty pages this one follows with again some text on it. The headline says*

[SIZE=24]Recent happenings[/SIZE]

*At the small pond near Port Hempstead Eander laughs to himself. With a book and a pen in his hand and a grin on his face he starts to write*

Well, today I met an elvish girl called Sugar *he crosses the last word chuckling a bit* Silver. She calls everyone Sugar and so I called her so too but she introduced herself as Silver. Actually it was the second time I met her. last time was when she sat with Sallarin and Tegan in Hempstead but I had not talked to her very long. Somehow she had left a remarkable impression and as I saw her today sitting around in Hempstead again I talked to her again.

She is such a happy nature, I never seen that before. Naerly constantly she is smiling, it is incredible. I really enjoyed talking to her. She is in some way captivating. Cant say why. It is not like the feeling I have when Saira is with me but...
*he looks to the pond for a while thinking of the right words*

Dont know. I just can say that, allthough she has a very different point of view about love and maybe life in general, it was a very exciting talk with her. Cant say if it is her open style or her constant flirting that affected me but it is refreshing to have her around. Well, its not like I am in live with her or that I would be unfaithfull to Saira. She is just someone I would like to be friends with due to her happy and open character, she is able to remind someone off the good things in live.
*he grins to himslef widely as he wants to close the book but goes on to write something more*

Allthough I dont know what I would have said to her offer if I would not be in love with Saira. Sugar is really an atractive and seductive girl, the kind men can hardly resist.
*now he closes the book slowly looking around sheepish*

Title: Re: Recent Happenings (Eander Shalynn)
Post by: Xirion on October 01, 2007, 12:16:43 PM

*eander sits at the steps of the Stormcrest Shak, an arrow in his hand. His view and his mind focused completely on the arrow head. From time to time he nakes some gestures with the other hand or mumbles, not taking the focus aways from the arrow head. After some time without any happenings he puts the arrow away and fetches his book and a pen and starts to write with a deep sigh*

Today I met Saira at the crossroads as usual but she was with Storold, practicing with her bow. At first I didnt understand why she was training with him, because he isnt an archer himself but than I remebered that she mentioned the thought of becoming an Arcane Archer to me severaltimes. And Storold knows much about the Arcane arts. He told us that he even trained other Archers in the arcane art before.

Anyway, Siara was soing quite well. Some arrows started to burn during the flight and in the end she even was able to hit the target with a burning arrow! Storold said it would be even possible to shot exploding arrows. This day brought back the idea to me aswell. I never tried it really and I felt abit ashamed to try it while Saira was around, because I probably would have failed.

I payed much attention to what Storold told her though. Something about focusing more on the arrowheads and the whole weaves surrounding us. He told me before many things about the weave. That she flows around freely, or atleast mostly does so. As I was alone I tried it several times. Without any succes though. Just one single time I saw some sparks at one of my arrows. No I spended several huors focusing on this arrowhead, trying to make it burn. No need to say that I had no success.

Maybe I will talk to astorold about it again, or Saira. For solong I will go on trying it over and over. Cant be that difficult. I can cradft arrows, I can shot them quite good and I am able to use the weave. Just need to put it together.
*another deep sigh escapes his mouth*

Well, now I will have to get some rest. I am really tired now, it was a long and exhausting day

*he laughs a bit*
Allthough I did not do much to be honest.

*he closes the book looking again at the arrowhead and frowns slightly before he puts it back to the quiver and walks of cursing abit under his breath*

Title: Re: Recent Happenings (Eander Shalynn)
Post by: Xirion on October 12, 2007, 07:12:55 AM

The time moves on with no sign about this figure anymore and I had a gfreat time with Saira. It is still like the first day we met. Everytime she is around my haert beats as if it will explode!

If someone would have told me a few years ago the one I look for in my life to fill the hole and the lonliness in my heart would be a dark-elf I just would have laughed at him. But it is increduble how affectionate and war m Saira is, her race matters not the least.

Well, she told me things from her past that are not that affectionate...
But what does it show? It just shows that Alantha was right with what she told me about dark-elfs when I asked her why they are the sinister, cruel and heartless. Through a metapher she pointed out that there is no special reason, but that it is their nature.
And Saira fought her nature, she changed and became something totally different. I would say this is even more worth than someone grown up in a shelterd and protected family with loving parents who tought morals. If someone like that becomes a good person it is nothing but the logical outcome...but Sairas past was anything but neither not sheltered nor protected nor filed with love.
But she developed something in her heart that seperates her from the others from the under dark and she struggeled for it. For love and the beauty of life, something I regard as incredibly honorable.

*he whistles hapilly while he goes on writing in his journal and the more he writes the bigger grows his smile*
She even told me, not direct though, that she would marrie me. I thought about this, too. I just need some more true... I want to give her something that shows how much she is worth to me. Actually nothing can picture her worth exactly but it has to be something special. The moment and the place I asked her has to be special aswell.

I need time to prepare all this. Hopefully she gives me the time... she is straight forward and it would be possible that she asks me, from that what she told me the females in the dark-elf society are dominant and so is she a biit. In a possitive way though...

*he laughs to himslef and shakes his head*
It is really sweet when she talks about protecting me!
I also heared between the lines that she has fear of loosing me. She said that the priestress told her to marry me in order to keep me. Crazy church! As if I would leave her, I need no ring or word to bound me to her. If I would not love her, would I stay at her side? With a dark.elf hunting us and people hating her for her kind and all that trouble? Wouldnt I have left her and looked for another one?

However, I know my love is strong enough to marrie her, she is special. Only thing  that depresses me from time t time is to know that we will never be abke to have children. People keep telling me there are orphants and that we could adopt some... but is it the same? I don't know... But it has no use to moan, my father was an elf, my mother human. I never will have some children from my own blood...

*he cloese his book slowly with slightly shivering hands an remains sitting for some time just stating at the sky and wathcing the clouds passing by. After a deep sigh he slowly gets up and as he stands and the sunlight hits his eyes it becomes clearly that small thears are in them, ehich he fights not to come out. Slowly with his had bowed he maunders down the street*

Title: Re: Recent Happenings (Eander Shalynn)
Post by: Xirion on October 14, 2007, 05:15:07 AM

Patientce. Wish I would have some. Or abit more.
I earned some due to my arrowcrafting I think and Saira teached me some too. But I experinece the edge of my patience now again.
I nearly go crazy!

I dont want to know how many quivers, yes quivers, I have wasted just to infuse them with magic. All I am able to see are some sparkles.

I payed somuch attention as Storold tought Saira, I asked him about the weave to get a better understanding of the weave in general, I practice with my bow for years, almost a decade now.

I make progress with my magic too. Allthough I dont study it, it just comes to me. I explored more ways to maipulate the weave, more powerfull and I am able to do it more often without a need to reconsider.

Well.... the problem is to bring it all together. My lack of patience makes it all worse. But I have to concentrate on it. I feel I slowy reach the end of what I can reach with simple training, with physical abilities... but I also sense that there is more. Much more.

Now that Saira told me a bit more about the arcane Archery and with my grown understanding of the weave I must continue. More indirect he said... maybe that is my fault I allways tried it....

*the sentence ends here and the rest of the page is empty. Eander jumped up and went on woizh his training immideately*

Title: Re: Recent Happenings (Eander Shalynn)
Post by: Xirion on October 14, 2007, 05:30:12 AM

Today I had a great day with Saira. We had so much time, no hurry, no strange occurances, no disturbance, just the two of us. We enjoyed our time. Most of it we spended on the crossroads with a little walk in between.

I am so happy that I found here. It is so easy to  talk to her, I allways have the feeling that she understands me, great minds think alike...
*he laughs abit and then continues with a smile*

Its really great. After what I experience at home the last years, I really doubted it would exist, but Saira prooved to me it does!

Today she asked me something, something I never thought of...
If I would follow Illsares path, join her church. It makes me think now all the time. One the one hand Illsare is as far as I can tell a "good goddess" and her teachings are not far away from my beliefs... But I never wanted to follow anyone, regardless if an authoritie or a god. I have my own free mind mind, my moral and my beliefes.

Things I dont want to compromise... I sworn to keep them, sworn it to myself as I left.
*he sighs and stares a few moment into the sky*

I just cant tell if it is right or not. Maybe I should follow her advice and speak to a priestress.

Yes, I think it is the least I can do, I promised her I will consider this and I will. For her.

It seemed it is rather important to her, allthough she stressed that if I would refuse to follow Illsare it would change nothing about her feelings towards me.

But I sense that she would be disapppointed if I would not join this path. On the other hand this is no descission I can make because of that, I am not the person to say "yes" and means "no"... If I choose to follow this path aswell I will do it because I am convinced it is right for me, not only to do her a favour...
*shakes his head and laughs again to himslef*

Me and even just considering to follow a god.... Another think I would have never beliefed a few years ago.

Love really changes people.

Another thing, not so good, just annoying, is my training...
Nothing new. I feel as I am slowly able to sense the weave, but my arrows still are the same. Simple arrows. Wood, metall and a feather nothing meagical about them. Nothing. Allright, a little sparkle here and there but not even a real flame.

I was on Dregar recently and wasnt even able to concentrate enough on my arrows while I was fighting to evoge anything, not even this little sparkle.

So here we are again... Patience is the key I guess..

Title: Re: Recent Happenings (Eander Shalynn)
Post by: Xirion on October 25, 2007, 02:02:25 PM

maybe Gaints on Dregar have not been the bset training target. I decided to continue at the crsossroads, it's silent and I have not to be afraid that the target tries to smash me.

I also started to train without armor, because I think this is the reason why some of my spells fail and thought this would disturb the training aswell.

Nothing.

One word that descirbes the result. I still recall the lesson saira had with Storold, try to combine it with my knowledge and what Storold told me but results are still the same. Allways.

Seemingly I have a long path to go. But I have to follow it, without being insistent I will never achieve anything, maybe thats the lesson I have to learn first... a real hard one for me!

However, I have to continue and I will

Title: Re: Recent Happenings (Eander Shalynn)
Post by: Xirion on October 25, 2007, 02:29:00 PM

Justice seems to exist... and Arcane Archers, too!

I met Rain Darsus today and after a while he asked me if I would mind to show him what I can do with my bow. I aggreed, I have nothing to hide. At the moment I did not know what he would reveal me.

So we went to the bugbear camp near the fields and as I tried to show my best of my skills suddenly.... an explosion... near one of the tends, directly at two of the creatures... I turned around to Rain, as I saw an arrow fly from his bow...a atrange glimmer surrounds it.... and as it hit one of the bugbears....another explosion.... two of them were tossed through the air by the power  and fell to the ground ....moveless.

No bugbear left. Only the smell of burned tents and flesh. The arrow I wanted to fire but was not able to due to the unexpected explosion still in my hand I turned to rain

-"W..What...What kind of arrows..are you using?" I stuttered confused. The answer follwed after a slight laugh

"Imbue arrow..." He told me about it and that he is an Arcane Archer... that what I would not have hoped to become true happened to me by chance, without any research. It found me.

Well, I seemingly have not been too bad... Rain asked me if I would like to be trained by him. And what shall I say? Ofcourse I want to...

*Eander who has not sleped since the first training lesson falls asleep slowly with the journal in his hands*

Title: Re: Recent Happenings (Eander Shalynn)
Post by: Xirion on October 25, 2007, 03:32:40 PM

//Eander dreams, this dream describes his first lesson

On the top of the hill, out of the rain a figure slowly becomes visible. In a dark armor on his black horse he fits perfect to the sky. He rises his bow slightly and points over to some tentes as another figure appears besides him.
The head a bit lowered the rain runs down his nose and face, all covered by a silver mask and down the red and grey armor.
"Show my what you can do" the horseman said nad the breath of his horse steamed in the cold air.

He nods once and slowy rises his head to take a view over the camp and glances around. As he whirls an arrow around in his hand he tilts his head and starts to hum a slow tune to himself.
Through the ari, almost without a noise the arrow flies from his bow, directly to one of the bugbears and he falls to the ground. A heavy and dull noise raises the attention and suddenly all of the creatures face the two at the hill as thy storm towards the the masked man, still humming, fires another arrow and hits one... a painfull growl....the angry vreature stubmles backward juts to run further towards him... as the next arrow hits... dead...

The arms fold the horsemen waits before he slowly pulls an arrow from his quiver. Two reached the singer.... before they were able to hit him one falls down... an arrow in his head... the other monster, obviously bigger than the archer, dashes his amce at him.... before the weapon reaches the head the archer had pulled out the next arrow and ducks away in a quick move... as the bugbear has back the controll over his mace.... he appears besides him and before the creature even was able to look in his direction, the arrow lleft the bow.... the next dull noise.... before the archer was able to turn to the bugbears left by the tends...attelerists and a shaman he hears cleary "swish" .... passing his ear.... not one of theyr bolts he should have seen and dodged... the other direction.

The first arrow left the horsemans bow. A explosion enlightens the foggy day... nothing can be heared. The humming faded... "swish"....the next arrow... hit the only left group of three.... the power tossing them through the air as the arrow explodes...

Smoke fills the air as the two approach.
"You have to feel the weave, circulating through your body"

"I feel the weave around me.... when I concentrate.... instinctively.... but that different"

"It is deep inside you, fell it how it runs through your arms... the hand.... the finger tips...and finally... the arrow. Feel the arrow all the time. From the moment you take it from the quiver till it hits the traget" The horseman says

The archer closes his eyes as he extend his hand and takes a deep breath. Silence... just the noise of the rain...

"I... I... Well... I don't feel anything" As he slowly puts down his arm

"At first noone does, but it is your first and most important lesson. To ibue your arrows with the weave. No arrow you shoot will be just a simple arrow anymore" the horseman smiles "patience... You will need patientce"

Patience... the word echoes in Eanders mind.... Patience

The two figures fade away...

Title: Re: Recent Happenings (Eander Shalynn)
Post by: Xirion on October 25, 2007, 03:44:54 PM

*The next evening Eander sits at the pond near hempstead, his bow besides him and an empty quiver*

I did what Rain advised me to do. Fishing! Sounds simple, but it is not if you focus more on the waeve than on the arrows your firing. Really not!

Allthough I bought some glooves from Shiff that should help me with my training it is still har even just to focus on the wweave while shooting. No need to mention how hard it is to "feel" the arrows and... to hit! That was what was easy to me, hitting the bloody carp. Now it is not. All my mind circle around the weave... my sense... my feelings.... and it is hard to coordinate.

And I am still looking for a crowded place where I can train aswell. rain told me it would be a good preparation if I would once want to use my abilities in a fight.... Well...

...to use them in a fight, the requiremnet would be that I have them, but I dont. Patience Eander, Patience.

For now this pond and the crossroads should be training enough. The fishing went not to good, but I have to say that I recognise an improvement when  trainig at Stormcrest. I am nearly as acccurate as I was before, but I feel the flight of the arrow, the power of the weave around and even in me... my arms and hands. Not in the arrow, though... but progress is slow, I knew that.

Patience Eander, Patience....

*Eander turns his head towards the empty quiver and shakes his head with a slight smile*
"Soooo... the next one I'd say, eh?" *He grumbles to himself*

*He gets up and takes his bow to continue to Stormcrest, despite the sun is going down and he trained the entire day*

Title: Re: Recent Happenings (Eander Shalynn)
Post by: Xirion on October 27, 2007, 11:53:55 AM

*while Eander turns some fishes at the litle camfire infront of him he murmurs to himself and starts to write frowning a bit*

I must smell like a bloody fisherman... All I do is fishing, I have somuch carp, trout and bass that I could provide half of Hempstead's citizems wish fish for atleast a month! I'd guess the pond in Hlint is quite empty by now.... spended half a day there "training". But I think it is agood spot, not so quiet like the pond at hempstead or the Zainge River. And Rain told me i should train in a more crowded place.

Enough with that blustering... Good news are, I think slowly I am progressing. I develop a sense for the weave in me and I am able to shoot accurate and focus on the weave at the same time. I remeber when I first tried it nearly a month ago, I hit everything except that what I aimed at!

It is now even possible to me to concentrate in Hlint during the day, with some people around. I don't even realy hear them anymore, its hard to explain... I recognise they are there but I don't care... all what counts is me, my bow, the arrows and the weave flowing through and around me.

One day at stormcrest I was even able to feel the flight of the arrow, I knew when and where it would hit. It felt as if a bolt of energy flows through the tight woven web of the weave, without damaging it, it was apart of it... not imbued though... but I think I am closer to it, a big step closer.

Next step probably is that I need to make it in Hlint, despite the diversion and the more difficult targets. I need to feel it, even in combat in the end... but that's far away...
So my favourite attribute looms large again... Patience!

*Eander wrinkles his nose and jumps up and rushes to the fire and starts to curse, as he realises where the stench comes from. The fish has burnt, angrily Eander tosses some water from the nearby pond over the fire and frowns as he grabs his pack to leave with a quiver of fishingarrows in his hand grumbling*
"Patience... and fish... a bunch of fish..."

Title: Re: Recent Happenings (Eander Shalynn)
Post by: Xirion on October 28, 2007, 07:10:21 AM

Days are too short. Much too short even.

I miss Saira, she is training alot and so am I, there is not much time left we can spend together. Sometimes I think it is easier for her then for me. The warmth and the feeling of security she gives me when ever she is around... I simply miss it. every single mometn I am not totally comcentrated during my training I think about her and how it would be if she was around.

No need to mention how much and how often I think of her when I take a brek from my training. I wish she could be with me all the time, I wish we would be never seperated.

Maybe the rings Shiff mentioned help, who knows. It is a great idea to have a part of the soul bound in the wedding rings... but the wedding would in a very far, far future. I haven't even asked her yet.

Love, never have I experienced a feeling which is so nice and so cruel in one.

It is of undescribable beauty if saira is with me and it is impossible to describe how cruel it is when I miss her everytime she is not around.

Anyway, I just can hope it will become better soon. I just can hope both our trainings will continue fast and...
...her preparations for that trip... I just can hope that they make progress too...and ofcourse there is a slight bt of hope left that she changes her mind.

This trip... I wasn't even able to write something down here. Maybe I will soon.

However, as I said this situation can only go better if I continue my training and do my very best, with full concentration, no matter how har it is.

It is still hard to sense the flow of the weave in Hlint, but I feel I am getting better, it is nearly as good as in stormcrest when I am alone and without that noise. But only nearly... So I will nolonger waste my time... the breal was long enough and so I will continue now.

For Saira and me.

Title: Re: Recent Happenings (Eander Shalynn)
Post by: Xirion on October 31, 2007, 12:22:16 PM

Black and white.
Darkness and light, hope and despair...

...all is happening to me now, with what shall I start? The black or the white part? With darkness or light?

I have hope, hope to reach my aim. Today, after three month of pratice and hardly anything but my bow and me, trying to focus on the arrows and the weave, today I was able to shoot an arrow, a special arrow.

 I felt it in my quiver, in my hand and I even felt the weave circulating through me and my bow. Before shoot my arrow I felt it in my fingertips... flowing through the arrow itself. As I released the arrow to fly towards it's target I saw the arrow glowing and I sensed the power in it.

Sadly after a few feet itn lost it's glow... I guess my concentration faded and I wasn't longer able to focus my mind as much as I should have. However, I went on with my training more motivated than ever and after a seemingly endless number of attempts, the first arrow like this hit the target infront of me.

Allthough the arrow has left my hand it felt like a part of me as it hit the target. All the time.

It is still hard for me to focus like that, but atleast I am finally able to.

*eander looks up from his journal and the slight smile that has shown up on his face while he was writing the last parts fades and he frowns deeply. Before he goes on he sighs miserably*

The other thing... the blakness, or however you want to call it...  haven't mentioned it to anyone yet. Maybe I just don't want it to be true... I deny it.

Three months... not only that I have been training for that long... I haven't seen Saira the entire time. No sign... if someone asked I allways said we both were training much and busy all the time. But somehow I doubt it is the truth...

I just can hope the best. She had so many enemies... and dangerous plans...

I miss her embrace... her smile and her silk-like hair...
Without her I just feel emptiness inside, even worse than it has been before I found her. Still I remeber the first time I saw her. She was dressed in a coat, her hood was so deep in her face that I wasn't able to see anythin of her skin, but I was immideately captivated.

Now the emptiness inside is just growing deeper... Desperately I desire to see her... to feel her, and all I feel is despair.

Nothing but despair.

Title: Re: Recent Happenings (Eander Shalynn)
Post by: Xirion on November 03, 2007, 07:19:03 AM

Concentration, concentration and concentration... not to forget concentration!

Focus your mind on the weave, feel it, sense it, lead it through your shoulder... the elbows, concentrate more... and even more...

Thats all I do. Have I thought lately my training is going well it seems I was shown that I was wrong. Altleast I am not nearly as far as I would have thought I am.

Rain tought me another lesson and that written above is the seesnce of it...
...Well, maybe I am abit pessimistic and unpatienced ofcourse, but progress is that slow and what makes it even harder I cant really recognise the progress. If you build a house you can see the walls growing higher and higher, but I don't see nothing.

And Rain instead of showing me how to shoot gives me riddles about a bow, how it works and how I can apply this to myself... he wants me to meditate and make a bow. I want to become an Arcane Acrcher, not a bloody bowyer!

One part of me understands why he does so, he explaine me his reasons and I have to admit they are understandable. The power in that art is mighty and you have to proove yourself and you have to earn it, through selfcontrol. That is the only way to control the power later and to avouid that the power controls you...to avoid that  you become greedy for more and more might. You have to use this power so that it is a benefit to all, but I know that and would never missuse it.

And that is why the other part of me doesn't understand it. This part is unpatiened and wants to achieve it better yesterday then today. Fast and easy... without that amount of work and time. It seems to be useless what he teaches me sometimes. But I will hold on... hold on to fullfill the task and finally master these art. I have to.

And so I go on, training and training. training myself, trying to tech myself patience and selfcontrol.

Title: Re: Recent Happenings (Eander Shalynn)
Post by: Xirion on November 05, 2007, 02:48:32 PM

But before I went on with my lessons, I decided to relax a bit and get some other thoughts maybe. As Rain eneded the lesson and said goodbye his daughter, Huntermara crossed our way.

As we talked a bit and she picked up some cotton from the fileds near Hempstead, she suddenly looked at me frowning
"Did you hear that?"
Honestly I haven't heared nothing, but she was entirely sure that she hered something like oxens screaming...

Abit unsure I followed her to the nearby barn and finally I heared it too...
she pushed the door open and I followed her, my bow ready and an arrow in my hand... she had her blades ready, one in each hand...

the first thing I saw when we entered were...blood everywhere... brutally slughtered oxens. It took me a short momet to get the whole picture and I guess Hunt needed some time too to realise what we found here... behind the blood and the dead bodies, standing at one of them... a werewolf.

Before I was able to shoot, he rushed at us... My first arrow only hit it in the leg and he jumped at hunt... her balde missed his head... and another claw aimed at her flew throught the air... her second blade blocked it and I managed to hit it's body despite this fihght... She attacked it with both her blades but with its claws he blocked it and as I tried to shoot another arrow... I heared her scream,painfullly... she looked desperate at me and then I saw it... This beast had her arm in his snout... holding it with his teeth, sharp as her blades... I hesitated a blink of an eye before the arrow flew at its head... Hunt tried to hit it with her baldes and fight her free...
Finally, it fell to the ground, I can not say what killed it, her  blades or my arrows... but it landed in the blood of the animals and stopped moving.

Immideately I ran to her, ignoring the beasts body and tried to aid her. I started to bandage the wound on her arm as I recognised how pale she was. She opened her out, but instead of words only a deep sigh escaped it and she sank to the ground... This was the first time I even recognised the colour of her wound... black!

"Hunt!" I shouted and yelled at her "Hunt, wake up!"
I turned to the wound again and cleaned it as she opened her eyes, very narrow, but she looked at me. I dropped my bandage I still held in my hand and offered her a bit of water before I again extended my hand towards her wound... but I hesitated to aid it... the blackness... all gone, it looked like an ordinary wound by now. I stopped the bleeding anyway and helped her up.
She still was very weak on her legs and a bit dazzed but all in all she seemed allright. She took my arm and a fishing pole so that she could make her way out.

Before we moved out a glanced back at the dead bodies, a slight frown passed my face as I saw the body of the werewolf... It still looked like as we fought it... It hasn't shfted...

But Hunt and I made our way to Hempstead, still helping her to walk but she became stronger, and I advised her to find a healer... because of the bite and the strange wound. She agreed.

But for now I thought it would be a good idea to get her a seat at the memorial and to detract her thoughts from that horrible event in the barn a bit. It was great atfirst, we really had fun and I even forgot my own sorrows... atleast for a while.

The mood changed immideatley as I said soemthing like that she tortured me and I am a poor victim. She had punched me in the side playfully and it was meant as a joke. Atfirst I didn't even realised how silent she was from that point on I mentioned it and even went on... untill she stood up and left.

I said goodbye to Travie who arrived shortly after us and hurried after her. I was not able to understand what the reason for her abrupt leaving was. I met her near the crafthall and from her reaction I can only assume that there might be something in her past... something what has to do with torture...

Thankfully she accepted my appologise, allthough she still seemed to me a bit angry and sad...I would say it was a mixture of that.

The next day I met her again, just outside the gates. Now she appologised for her leaving, but it still seemed as if she needed some time and so I thought it would be best not to acompany her but to continue my training.

Title: Re: Recent Happenings (Eander Shalynn)
Post by: Xirion on November 09, 2007, 02:43:08 PM

*This page has some little purple patches spread across it*

I miss her… It feels as if my heart has been ripped out of my chest and broken into pieces, slowly, painfully… I can’t think about anything but Saira and what may have happened to her.

Maybe I live my life the wrong way? Maybe Silver does it right? I saw her recently in Vehl… She was flirting with another guy and even kissing him and ofcourse she was as happy and unconcerned as ever. Everytime I see her it seems life is so easy to her… no worries, no sorrows…
…no pain and despair. Nothing.

On the other hand… I don’t know, but I doubt I could live such a life. Could I? Do I want to? I highly doubt it… all I want is Saira. Silver is different she takes what she gets.
But I need someone to relie on… someone to *a big purple patch covers the rest of sentence, seemingly wine*

However… maybe I should stop drinking this wine… Og handed it to me once… Xeenite wine… anyway, it tastes good. And even better, it makes me feel comfortable for atleast a while… Helps to forget.
Well, and there is no need to stop now, it’s almost empty by now anyway!

But my training…My training, must continue. The day I met Silver I was on my way to the Arena to a fight with Lex. It was a good fight… he defeated my in the end, but I nearly got him! It wasn’t that difficult anymore to concentrate on the weave and the shooting. It seems I am on a good way.

I guess everybody needs a break… and so I will delay my training until the bottle is empty… and I am well rested.

*closes his book and raises another glass and nods silently to himself before he drinks it*

Title: Re: Recent Happenings (Eander Shalynn)
Post by: Xirion on November 14, 2007, 03:03:28 PM

They hunt me... all day... all night... this thoughts, I can't get them out of my head. Saira...

Maybe this is why my training goes on that slowly. I don't even have the materials for the bow. My concentration lesson only make slow progress too.
But I cant get a clear thought - how should I?
*he takes a nother sip form a bottle and fiddles abit of it over the pages*

Great, what a nice mess in my journal.
Anyway, it is nearly impossible for me to forget. There has only been one evening during the last two weeks where I was able not to think about her all the time... and about waht is... has... might have happened...

I met Lino, who I havent seen in years at in Hempstead. Maybe this should encourage me not to loose hope completely... but some how... it does not.
He was chatting with two figures I haven't seen around before, so I guess they'r new around.

*dries the page a bit and drinks abit more*
Did I write figures? Well... Luna wasn't too bad atall. It was funny seeing her mocking the other guy ...Arendiel was his name I think. Laterone we even had some wine together and it was really good to talk to her... to let my mind go... and not focus on all this mess.
For a few hours, I felt good... atleast a few hours.

I am still able to hide it... most times atleast - but how long?

Title: Re: Recent Happenings (Eander Shalynn)
Post by: Xirion on November 25, 2007, 05:56:33 AM

The time I have to focus on my training is not the most, but atleast I am able to recognise process. Unfortunatey it seems as if the time I can concentrate myself long enough is getting less...

The time I want to cry on the other hand... Well, lately it is nearly the whole day. All I can think of is how unfair life can be and why I have earned it... Why me? What have I done? maybe I am looking for asnwers that don't exist. Maybe there is no reason atall. Fate doesn't need reason and fate isn't fair seemingly... But this is a lesson I thought i ahd leraned long ago.
However, this time I learn it even more painfully, much more.

I only can hope it is not true that you find someone to share your mind, thoughts and life only once in life, but that there is a second chance. Otherwise... I really can't tell... But I doubt I can stand it... the lonliness...emtptiness...whatever I do, whereever I am...something is missing.

On the other hand I can't even say if I am ablre to feel something like this again... for now I feel nothing but pain.

That makes it hard to think about the riddle Rain wanted me to think about. The bow, how it is working and how I can apply this to myself. It is hard to solve a riddle if you can't get a clear thought atall. Another problem is that I don't even have the materials I need to make a bow... To be honest I haven't even talked to Sall so that he can explain me exactly what I ahve to do. I can craft arrows... but a bow? That's something else...

I am so lacking in drive... how long is it that I talked to Rain and he gave me the task with the bow? Certainly much to long.
Maybe I should drink less wine... But it helps me to forget... not to feel the pain...

Where are you Saira? Please... help me...

Title: Re: Recent Happenings (Eander Shalynn)
Post by: Xirion on November 26, 2007, 03:06:36 PM

*after another training session in Hlint Eander sits himself down at the nearby campfire and while the bottle of wine he has opened gets empty slowly while the moon rises and the shallow light brightens his painfull face abit he starts to hum a slow and melancholic melody and writes the following text into the pages of his journal*

I found it once but now it’s gone
Now that we are torn apart
The darkened gap that was closed
Now even deeper in my heart
To the only one I ever loved
I dedicate this mournful song


Here I am, to find me all wrong
What I thought would fill my soul
Only left mourning and pain
Now I have to pay my toll
To the one driving me insane
I dedicate this painful song

Trying to find what I tried to hide
In the desolate past of my life
Ineffable beauty that once has thrived
Long ago my shattered soul has died


For what I searched so long
journey through my black past
Seemingly towards enlightenment
Discovered it without to last
Unconditional commitment
To you I dedicate this song

I found it once, but now it’s gone
Not knowing if to return
Not knowing how long I can wait
What once was desire to burn
Now devours me, being desp’rate
Saira this song I wrote for you

Trying to find what I tried to hide
In the desolate past of my life
Ineffable beauty that once has thrived
Long ago my shattered soul has died

*with a heavy sigh and tears wich sparkle in the moonlight in his deep green eyes he closes his journal and opens another bottle*

Title: Re: Recent Happenings (Eander Shalynn)
Post by: Xirion on January 04, 2008, 07:26:38 AM

Time has passed... hours and days... weeks and month... It feels like eternity.. and I can't tell how long it really was. Distance was what I needed, from everyone and everything... even myself.

Again I try to run away... just as I tried when I was a young man and I thought I could live without sorrow, pain and fear. Now I find me all wrong. Everytime my past lay upon me as a heavy dark shadow... a burden, following me everywhere.... chasing me... hunting me.

And now? Even greater pain surrounds me... loneliness pains even more when you felt the warmth... the blessing of to love and being loved. I don't know how long I can stand it... Sometimes I think about giving up... putting an end to the dark eternal night...

Othertimes I whish to fight... to win against the blackness inside of me. But the weakness runs through my veins like a poison.
Life pains me... Pain... if there is a single feeling left inside me it is pain...

*he takes a deep breath and as he glances at the night sky tears glimming in his eyes, enlightned by the moon and the stars*

Saira... Where... Why...

I still can't think about what happened... why it happened... maybe I should just stop asking questions... abbandon all hope and accept my fate... Maybe.

But do I want to live this life?

What is it that I want? I can't answer it myself... Maybe I don't even want to. I can't see my path I want to walk on anymore... Hopes and dreams all vanished and replaced by Nightmares and fears. Is it worth to walk on further?

And the arcane archery... There have been days I was able to train... few but atleast more than none. When I was able to clear my mind and to blend out all thebad things... I felt it... the weave... I could focus on it for a while and the poison was replaced by strength for this time.

Maybe lex was right and I am destroying myself withwine and ale and stuff like that... but what else could help me... is there a cure for this "cancer"? Can I be that strong... Yet, it is still the only thing able to help me... to make me forget a bit and ease the pain.... for a short while atleast.
Besides my training.... but every session costs strength... Strenght I don't have anymore.

What have you done to me?! Where are you? ...Please... help me... Saira... I can't break out this prison on my own... I can't...