The World of Layonara
The Layonara Community => Just for Fun => Topic started by: darkstorme on February 13, 2008, 03:15:34 PM
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Rules
- Limericks must pertain to one (or more) features or characters of Layonara
- Must obey the rules of the limerick (except where self-referential departure from the rules increases the humour)
- Must stay (reasonably) clean. Family friendly, folks!
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A lady named Tegan, no prude
Found her skirt by the wind all a'skewed.
But then Sall came along
And unless I am wrong
You expect this last line to be lewd.
There once was a wizard named Omer
An adventurer, hero and roamer.
But then one day he made
Stunning work with his blade
Now "wizard" alone's a misnomer!
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There once was a Striker named Shiff
who used to be quite the stiff
Always swinging his sword
he often looked bored
til one day he fell in the Rift
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Once Kali got it into her head
That 'twas wrong to eat meat that was red.
The Arms once served roast boar?
Well, they don't anymore -
They serve only roast apples and bread!
//Seriously, though, food at the Arms makes me hungry in RL. :)
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There once was a DM-like softy
Whose name had an unneeded E
'Til he messed with a stiff
By the lovely name Shiff
And got him all thinking Limericky
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There once was a man from Vehl
Who arrived soon after his smell
Swarms of flies around his head
Smelling like he was dead
Goblin or Dwarf none could tell
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There was a young halfling named Peanut,
Who was offered a delicacy: eel butt.
She glowered and spat,
"I'll never eat that!
looks too much like Jabba the Hut!"
(this is the best I could do while still paying attention to class, sorry)
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When I read the thread header, the "Leringard-Warning!" one was right next to it, and I confused the two mentally to get "Limerick contest-Warning!" in my head.
Having read this far, I think this heading is appropriate...
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You're next, Frances...
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There once was a hefty young gal
who married her old Pirate Pal
she married a stiff
Yes, it was Shiff
I'm sorry for poor Missus Val
There once was the Player of Val
Who moved back in with his pal
but all to his doom
he now shares a bed room
with the player that's married to Sall
Love you guys!
oh! one more!
There once was a hefty young gal
who married her old Pirate Pal
she sure was quite huge
but she wasn't no stooge
Don't mess with the Mighty Miss Val
*snickers*
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*reads Shiff's latest attempts at poetry*
While I appreciate the sentiment, I stand by my previous comment. :)
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In the mines of Haven quite cavernous
The gnolls were growing quite ravenous
Some adventurers they spied,
But said "we must must hide
Lest their swords they decide to jab in us!"
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King of dragons was Fisterion
Those seeking audience had one criterion
Tribute a-plenty
nineteen emeralds (perhaps twenty)
*sighs* Pseudo is no shakesperean
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There once was a paladin pure
With a curse only Toran could cure
She thought she could ask
Storold bout the task
Boy did she step in manure
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Peanut and Drex were a runnin'
Peanut thought "hey I can be cunnin'"
She tripped her to win
Drexia went into a spin
Peanut said "Now you know I's jus funnin."
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King of dragons was Fisterion
Those seeking audience had one criterion
Tribute a-plenty
nineteen emeralds (perhaps twenty)
*sighs* Pseudo is no shakesperean
You spelt Shakespeare WRONG! *SLAPS!*
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*dodges the misdirected slap*
Thank you Captain Obvious, that wasn't accidental.
Criterion - shakesperean
Critearion - shakespearean
It is called clever wordplay :P
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Well, even without considering that the Bard himself spelled his name a number of different ways, making torturous multiple syllable rhymes is part of the point of Limericks... *looks at the mere end rhymes in Shiff's attempts, and then at the scintillating dactylic rhyme of the Haven limerick*
*cough*
Now an orc who had indigestion
Went around to his friends with this question:
Will eating humans or elves,
Gnomes dwarfs, or ourselves
Do the best job my breath (burp) to freshen?
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Stop teasin me :p
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Cheaters, mulers, leechers beware
There is he who ensures a playing field fair
A forum maestro - with a handle of 'Dorg'
Pseudo's destiny - nowhere but the post-thanks-morgue
He's way in front with 400 to spare
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Okay... Was that really a limerick...
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*is perversely proud of his anapaest meter, and agrees that ending with the same vowel sound and paying limited attention to meter disqualifies Shiff as a limerick smith*
A young, headstrong bard lived in Haven;
Thought, "At poetry, I am a maven!"
But his struggles linguistic
Were anachronistic -
His posts simply copied "The Raven".
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Red is his beard
Red is his heart
Beware his axe
For he ain't lax
The Priest of Vorax
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There once was a fighter named Woll
Who was closer to average than tall
While fighting with Giants
To get nuts for some clients
Got his head caved in with a maul
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There once was an Elf named...god knows
Who fancied himself good with all bows
While taking the shot
It skipped off a knot
And now he's minus his nose
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Onced lived a Dwarf named Drongoes
Who was better with axe than with bows
while making a cleave
His target did weave
And now they call him nine toes
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Barion Firesteed , a fighter real strong
Said to himself " i lived too long ,
Half-elven grandchildren are denied ,
Guess i need an epic fight ,
To have my name live on in a song "
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There was an old wizard named Tim,
Whose chances of living seemed slim,
When he threw a strong spell
Which dissolved his friend Kell,
Now Kell's ghost wants to do poor Tim in!
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There once was a gnome named Vin
The shadows he oft lived in
A dwarven plot dire
And Vin's such a liar
Salvation he stole from his kin
...There we go. Now I saved Acacea the trouble of coming up with a song.
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There once was a fellow named Stephen
Who thought that his rhymes could break even
He gave it a shot
And found they could not
And so now the not-bard is leavin'.
I totally count as a feature of Layonara.
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There once was a shapely young Lass,
with an equally shapely young arse... >.<
Ark went for a squeeze
just to do as he pleased
But she broke him and called him quite crass...
Please don't kill mae
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A shapely young girl named Lenore
Was beautiful, lovely and more.
When Ark's roaming eye
This woman did spy...
Well, Ark's face is now rather sore.
<3 I win. Well. Where Shiff is concerned.
Why are we picking on Arkolio? Ohhh. Right. It's easy. ;)
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Wisdom in teasing a GM?
Should you have sent a PM?
Stephen and Shiff
One side of a tiff
That ended in their PC's requiem
:P
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To be fair, any monosyllabic PC's name would work. :)
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Eyes swirling red hypnotic
Farros on many a narcotic
had one too many thrills
so he ran for the hills
regurgitating sweet symphonic
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The lunchmeat squirrel in Nonac's gullet
wretched forth on the dwarf with a mullet
saw a goblin he be
his axe so sprang free
after the greenskin, aiming to cull it
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Leanthar Spellore, Hurrah, Hooray!
the great server lord smiles today.
Danced he about, quite elated.
checked his account, someone donated!
Layo is God and here to stay!
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Scriptwrecked took Orth on in Coder's War,
churned out the programs like never before!
1011001 teh H@x0r e1337!
but both hung their heads in defeat
when Dorg hacked in through the back door
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Hallmonitor darkstorme eyed the incorrigible lonn
Warring wordsmiths, evil v. good, darkness v. sun
(I know those adjectives should be reversed
We're aware who is pure and who is perversed)
Pertinent question is, which side sits ycleption?
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Ycleption avers, the real matter is Pseud,
Are you yourself Evil, or just misconstrued?
LG or CE
Why do you query?
I think you seek to start Limerick feuds.
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Pseudo sought the elusive post thanked
In players hearts, he was second ranked
I shoulda known better
than challenge the pace setter
I was surely destined to get spanked
BUT!
My hopes rise from the embers
7,669 members
If I pen a limerick about all
From first place he might fall
(Though it'll prolly take me til' November)
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Personalities reflected in strange avatar pics
From bespectacled samurai Shiff to the Hagar of Mix
Minerva's spacey rat
Lonn's jar-headed cat
and a red debian swirl upon OneST8's bits
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My thanks to Pseudonym for directing my eye,
From the mountains of code piled at my side.
He pointed me to the simple limerick above,
An honourable mention that fits like a glove!
While my swirl and bits are sort of an anacronym,
I do extend my thanks to Mr. Pseudonym!
I know the last bit doesn't fit so well but meh, 5 minutes is too much time spent away from code! ;)
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He likes to play girls more than play boys
RPed very stiffly, lacking in poise
I suppose it's his chance
Playing Ami o'er Lance"
What would his mates say when twidget deploys?
[size=-2]// With editorial assistance from ycleption[/size]
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He wears pink shirts and thinks thanks will appease
Creating his quests intending to tease
He admires his wit, his poise and his grace
his rival in Dorg, a legendary race
his catchcry is ever 'More thanks if you please!'
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The Paladin Known as Clarissa
is said to have had quite the kisser
you better look fast,
cause if she runs past
You are surely quite likely to miss her
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Leanthar's famed secret identity
Knowledge of it to bring serenity
Is it merely a myth?
he torments us with?
Frustrated guesses end in obscenity
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Polak76 says, Enough Layo, I quit!
(In much the same manner as EightBit)
But addicted he is to the Corath forum
Evil plots are borderline decorum
Polak, enough with your resignation shenanigans
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Quiet as Krandor crypts is this thread,
Jokes and 'If' questions rule instead,
A challenge goes out,
to end the limerick drought,
Anapaest-priest raise it from the dead!!
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Upon this day, a challenge is made,
The gauntlet is thrown, the foundation laid,
The words of one Pseud,
Shall soon become rued,
And he'll beg for Calliope's aid.
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Since when are the Krandor crypts quiet?
The undead there are inclined to riot.
Everytime that I try
To go in there, I die
So I'm sorry, Pseud - I just don't buy it.
And Ycleption, so quick with a rhyme
One wonders where you find the time?
But then, legislation
Will become your vocation;
Pseud's meter is truly a crime.
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An edit 27 minutes later,
A meter error yourself post creator?
I may be a criminal
But my errors were minimal,
darkstorme ... really, don't be a hater.
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There was a young elf Emie Meadows,
Who complained of sore throbbing head woes.
When asked by Ami,
What the cause of it be,
Said Emie, Stupid men! (that's her credo).
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'Twas merely some slipped punctuation
Which I blame on a lack of libation
For with caesar in hand
Of you, Pseud, I'll demand:
Count your syllables during creation!
Now to set this thread back on its course -
Time to get right back onto the horse! -
Read the rules - 'member them (http://forums.layonara.com/826102-post1.html)?
No more ad hominem -
Back to Layo, or I will use force!
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This is what I feared
I'm surrounded by the weird
you all post with fervor
on this dedicated server
which is the utmost revered
// I'm just bugging you all. :p
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Dark: You see I have but one weakness,
Which I do confess with all meekness,
See, I procrastinate,
And things get done late,
When I see meter (like pseud's) lacking sleekness.
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When I read this thread, I were aghast
It seemed another whole year had past
Since I thought I would post
Something rhyming with toast
But meant, rather, a ghoul, not a ghast
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Script Wrecked: You speak nonsense
we have biological warfare defense
Your ghouls are fools
just petty tools
who commit regulatory offense
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I'll admit my limericks to be scrubby,
Quite inferior to Carillon's hubby,
Great meter I'll concede,
Limerick champion indeed,
Doesn't change the fact he was quite tubby.
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Stop and listen to my preaching,
'Cause I think you all are reaching.
You should make the most,
Of every post,
And stop your mindless screeching!
;)
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There once was a fighter named Shiff
who ran off in one mighty tiff,
He went dungeon-diving
though barely surviving,
he came back... no wait! He's all stiff!
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A halfling dressed in brown and green,
was heard to shout summat obscene,
but her screams and her howl,
and her language quite foul,
are caused by an overfull spleen.
Another halfling named Tod,
at times is a right little chap,
whilst he's often quite shy,
he can only but try,
but this often results in a slap.
Rockhead Howling Wolf
There once was a fat purple bard,
who's smellling of fishtails and lard,
whilst drinking one day,
Salles turns and shouts "Hey,
you're smelling quite foul and you're barred!"
Alternate ending..!
There once was a fat purple bard,
who's smellling of fishtails and lard,
whilst walking one day,
all the gobbos shout "Hey,
that aftershave's quite avant-garde!"
Keppli, with grammatical encouragement from the dwarf
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Reading these lines is causing me pain
It makes me feel there's a cramp in my brain
When I read them I think
Gosh, these really all stink
So I figured I'd come on and complain.
;)
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There once was a lass named Daniella,
who at first we all thought was a fella.
She traps down her goods,
to keep the male hoods
from turning to stare at the bella.
:p ;)
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Not to toot my own horns... *Toots his horn* but I think I am the only one consitantly remaining within the meter and rhyme scheme of a limerick..
Toot toot!
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My name is Diego Rivera,
My intention was never to scare yah,
but when viewing my art,
beware and take heart,
it's all staring strangely back atchya!
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With no doubt I'm the Limericking Master,
Besting Cari, Darke, and the Psued-ster.
When the Limericking starts,
beware of this art,
or they'll fill up all of your grey matter!
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My Post count gets higher and higher,
as my humor gets drier and drier,
no doubt Dorg wil come,
and look at the sum,
and ban me for being a Spammer... >.<
(last one... I promise)
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Ironic, Shiff's post sixty-four (http://forums.layonara.com/1234962-post64.html)
Says he wins (by the way he keeps score)
But to view his posts after
One bursts into laughter
Those last lines, they ain't rhymin' no more!
Ahem...
Tyra's a rambunctious sort
Prone to sparring with giants for sport
But her actions are such
That her ungentle touch
Might soon land her in Rofirein's court.
Plen's the Bird Lord; the lord of the air,
But he sleeps on the ground, not up there.
As he napped by a willow,
'Cacea made a pillow...
Now poor Plen's wings both look rather bare!
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Hey! Slant Rhyme is still rhyme Mister!
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I once had a bag full of true,
and Keppli and Tod had some too,
but it's all gone away,
'cos we spent it one day
buying carpets to see if one flew.
by Rockhead Howling Wolf
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.....and finally, i couldnt stop without this one. It's from the heart!
Ode to a Brave Warrior.
I once saw that brave Dragonheart,
turn the corner, pause, and then fart,
on the wind was a whiff,
of the wonderous Shiff,
he's gone now but helped Rocky start.
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There once was a Cult that stole Dragons,
they set out in ships, not on wagons.
Approaching they are,
Our heroes flee far,
or try to get courage from flagons!
;)
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Sitting alone, he lies in his bed
Restless thoughts stir inside his head
From behind the drape
Planning his escape
Sion, waits for the moment of dread
Idoran reads a magical book
Full of cantrips which he took
much to his dismay
he went out to play
He made himself into a snook
There's a halfling named Tod
And just so you know, he's no sod
With only a trick
'cause you know he is quick
won't see through his facade
// I think these are proper...
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Wont be good but it will be relevent! here goes!
I met a nice fellow called Mangle,
He made me-a sheild I could handle,
He was short, he was squat,
His helmet; a pot
Wonder if he could make me a bangle?