The World of Layonara
Character Development => Development Journals and Discussion => Topic started by: Cinnabar on April 14, 2008, 03:24:14 PM
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[SIZE=16]* Musing, he ponders "Who will remember my story after I'm gone? A family of my own perhaps, but there is no such now". After over two years on Mistone, he is at a loss to know where to begin. Quill in hand, he struggles to order his thoughts; drawing a deep breath, he begins to write *
My name is Caerwyn Ahrail'lan and I was called to my vocation in my 37th year, in Mar of 1429. I had spent most of my adult life in the company of soldiers, as a tracker and scout. With the boyhood training I received at my father's hands and my adult experiences in the field, the choice of Ranger as my calling came naturally. My time to date here on Mistone has confirmed that choice.
I began, as so many of the newly called do, in Port Hempstead; I was aided at the beginning by many, notably Shiff Dragonheart and Rose Blair, as well as a man named Marcus and a dwarf called Skully. They saw to it that I was properly outfitted and pointed in the right direction. Since that time I have travelled and mapped much (if not most) of Mistone and have ventured to Alindor, Krashin and the Dragon Isles. I have even been back to Dregar more than once, though most of it seems strangely unfamiliar.
In the course of my travels, I have met many of the summoned; most have been pleasant enough, some have been kind, and several have been fine comrades. There are only a few however that I would consider close friends. At the top of that list would be Fianon Brittlebow. A fellow ranger, he has taught me much of the local forestry, and I in turn, have shared with him my knowledge of matters military. By now, when we travel together, we think and act almost as one. In the field, we need few words to cooperate effectively, though by the campfire, our talks have seen many a sunrise. While we each often go our own ways these days, each time we travel together it's like coming home again; I would be disconsolate to ever lose Fianon's company.
Another that I would call friend in the truest sense is Balthazar Woll. A very clever man and extremely successful scrounger (as he calls his trade), it is Bal who set my feet on the path of making a fairly handsome living gathering saleable commodities. Teaching by example, he has shown me many areas of Mistone, where to find specific goods, how to draw off those guarding them to be dealt with piecemeal, and how to build a retinue of customers. He has also been preeminent in pointing me to quests which have helped me to gain both gold and experience. He and I too have seen more than one sun come up after talking all night, often with me wiping wet cheeks from laughing so hard. Without his friendship I'm sure I'd be much poorer than I am now, both in my bank account and my soul.
I would mention two others in this list: Elohanna Dawnstar and Arynne Liadon. Each has befriended me in my times of doubt or need, giving sage advice which I try to follow and, on occasion, gifting me with special tools. I like to think that part of who I am becoming is at their hands. I strive to be worthy to call each friend.
And then there are the women. I am of an age where I long for the lasting love and companionship of a good woman. And while I have loved fleetingly and lost (twice) since coming to Mistone, in retrospect I have yet to meet one with whom I could share my life. I will however mention one woman who has become a very dear friend: Hedessa Tanario. Hedessa is a Priestess of Xeen (with all that entails) but I think our relationship transcends that in an odd way. While she tries her best to show me the pleasures of Xeen, she is rarely successful, as I value her friendship more. I find that I am more comfortable in her company than I am with any other woman I've met, whether fighting in the field, drinking at a tavern, or sitting quietly on a mountain top; I am discovering that the true definition of a lady belies appearances (in either direction). While our friendship turns more than a few heads I'm sure, I can think of no one else with whom I would rather share my deepest feelings, eventhough she and I will never be romantically involved (again for reasons of her calling). I only hope that a woman with whom I do find love will be able to understand that while I will be hers alone, the deep friendship I have for Hedessa is a great part of my life. Quite possibly that, in itself, may be a test of whether I have found the right woman to share my life.
I have found through experience here that my skills lie most in stealth, observation, and tactics. I did not start out with this wisdom, but have had to learn from painful lessons (nothing focuses one's attention like a few visits with the Soul Mother). I began by behaving like a light infantryman armed with a longbow, following wherever others would lead; over time I have learned better. When by myself, I rely on stealth and caution to carefully avoid or dissect the enemy standing between me and my goal. When in the company of others, I now stay in my rightful place either in the back rank observing the flow of the battle and covering the front rank with my longbow (using my blade only in dire need), or out on point performing stealth reconnaissance and coming back to report what I see.
I have taken to sitting quietly to analyze each battle just concluded while it is still fresh in my mind. As a result, I have been able to start building a catalogue in my head of what tactics work (and don't) in a given situation, as well as sound (and poor) applications of individual's capabilities. Most importantly, I have learned that mission focus is the key; most failed missions seem to be the result of either disparate and/or poorly understood priorities. Hunt to hunt, gather to gather, or explore to explore: failure to adhere to this principal can break a mission, and it seems to be the rare group that can manage more, and certainly not without a common understanding.
I am quite stunned by the number of times a group is gathered with neither prioritized goals, a tactical plan, an understanding of the party member capacities, or even a briefing before 'going in'. I find that I am in a minority in this, as many seem to repeat these same errors over and over. I have begun to encourage others to rethink their approach to battle, with mixed success; I have come to learn that there are those with whom it is simply unwise to travel, regardless of how pleasant they may otherwise be.
They say that a man is defined by the company he keeps and what he has learned; all that is mentioned here has been (and continues to be) instumental in making me who I am and who I am to become.
C.A. Jular 15, 1431[/SIZE]
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Over the past months, much has happened both to and around me. Personally, my fortunes have turned around to a large degree; through thrift and the beneficence of friends, I am now more than fairly well heeled, with a sum in the bank that two years ago would have beggared my imagination. I say thrift because with the exception of arrows, bandages, the odd tavern drink, and a few boat tickets, I get all that I need from the land itself these days (the eating has been plain at best and monotonous at worst, and I have become quite the connoisseur of local waters). Memory fails at recalling the taste of food with spices other than wood smoke, I haven't slept under roof in gods know how long, and my clothing, well let's just say that I have not spent any money or time dressing for city life. I have however been able to acquire lodging with Fianon in a rented room (a bargain as the rent is payable in readily acquirable corn); I spend little time there though and use it primarily for storage.
The aid of friends has resulted in a growing list customers for gathered commodities. Balthazar has decided to give up his life of scrounging (so he says, though I suspect that it's only temporarily) and he has sent some of his best customers my direction. One such is a Wizardess of great power who offered me a large contract which I promptly fulfilled by focusing on it to the exclusion of virtually everything else. She was a bit stiff in her demeanor initially, but I must say she treated me most fairly, and I even detected some thawing of her attitude towards the end (note: follow up with her soon, as good customers don't just fall off a wagon). Elohanna has been gracious in giving me contracts for materials she requires for her scribing and I, in turn, have been gracious about payment: an arrangement that has worked out well for both of us, I believe. Word of my 'scrounging' ability seems to have gotten around, as I am beginning to receive unsolicited requests from other people. I also have been fortunate in getting involved in a cashless arrangement with a friend of Fianon, wherein I supply items on request in exchange for future goods to be made for me. I believe that this arrangement will finally allow me to have armour with more 'stopping power' than the parchment-thin stuff I currently wear.
I have also been fortunate in gaining a great deal of experience on quests, both from the local populace and from answering postings. This has allowed me to increase my skills significantly and given me access to divine spells heretofore unimaginable. These advances have also put me in a position to upgrade my weaponry: I have a contract in with a master bowyer for a truly magnificent upgrade to my longbow, and I am now able to both draw the Hunter's bow and make use of the book gifted me by Arynne. I also am planning to get some enchantment added to my longsword in the immediate future.
On one such quest, I traveled with a Wizard of some note who, upon hearing that I have aspirations to study the arcane arts, has offered to take me on as an apprentice once I branch my training out from purely Ranger related pursuits; Aunt Braith would be most pleased (note: I should send her a letter regarding this and other things).
As to things happening around me, a curious set of occurrences has transpired. I met a strange pair on the road near Ft Llast who, quite frankly, made my flesh crawl. They would not give their names, state their business, nor show their faces, but seemed much interested in local customs. Shortly thereafter (maybe a week or two) I ran into another strange one (I would call it a Shadow or Shade) on the road in the Goblin Wastes conversing with two passing acquaintances of mine. I have since seen one of the pair from Llast squiring around other people I know with an arrogance that exceeds the term 'haughty'. Each of these incidents by itself would bring a yawn to most at best, but I can't help marveling at the time-coincidence of these events both with each other and with other publicly witnessed occurrences of unusual nature. In my time here on Mistone I have never seen a confluence of events such as these. I feel duty-bound to try and make sense out of this but I am, as yet, unsure to whom I should report, were I to reach any conclusions. I have one contact in mind, and will send him a written report if not prohibited from doing so by Wolfswood.
It is odd how, in spite of oneself, one finds themselves following in their father's footsteps. Who would have thought that I would be this involved in intelligence gathering and analysis; though I will say that the challenge feels like something I've been training my whole life to meet.
C.A. Seplar 4, 1431
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* He pens a letter to his Aunt, written in a clear, flowing script *
Dear Braith,
Autumn has arrived and with it some news you will find pleasing, I hope. I have decided to pursue in earnest a path you started me upon as a youngster. I have some more training in my primary vocation to accomplish first, but once that's achieved, I will be branching out (I hesitate to be more specific in writing, but I'm sure you know what I mean). I have met a man who has offered to take me on as an apprentice sometime next year, and even now is helping me with direction and guidance. According to him, there is a portal here in Mistone that would transport me directly to the Great Library in Dregar! He is unsure of the Library's geographic location as he has only visited it by this means, and (I would guess) has kept himself confined within its walls during his visits. I'm sure you know where it is and, if possible, I would much like to visit with you when I travel there.
Independent of visits to the Library, I also have a trip to Dregar planned with Hedessa (you will recall that I've mentioned her before). Our specific destination is a bit of a mystery (as you would expect with Essa) but should we find ourselves close by, I'd like for you to meet her as I'm sure you two would get along quite well. There is also a trip to the Forest of Fog with a senior ranger being discussed, on which I will make every effort to see you.
Since I wrote last, I have discovered something which is of great disappointment to me. Evidently, when Corath was defeated the subsequent prohibition against mixed race offspring extended automatically to those of mixed blood already born. How could Grandfather not know of this? You know he and I never saw eye-to-eye on much, including religion, but how could he not have mentioned such a life altering fact? There are times when I find it difficult to wish him a peaceful rest!
On a brighter note, as I have gained vocational experience, I have been blessed with an animal companion, a dire wolf whom I have named Thane. My times in the forest with him at my side are some of the most rewarding experiences in my life so far. There is a sense of the pack between he and I, a feeling of belonging I had only found before with Ahrail. (I have had no news of my father since leaving Dregar, but I have not given up hope. I always have my ear to the ground for hints of his whereabouts and should you get even the smallest, you know to send me word as quickly as you can. I can be reached here in Mistone at 181 Haven)
I hope this letter finds you well and still tweaking the tail of convention,
Caerwyn, Seplar 17
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As another year comes to a close, I find myself more certain than ever about the paths I have chosen. Vocationally, I will continue along the Ranger path for a while longer, and then begin other paths as well; all with the goal of returning to my chosen profession, armed with skills that will enable me to better patrol the forests and roadways and to fight more effectively, when required.
Arynne has taken an interest in my growth and took me out on a mission to the Dragon Isles to give her a chance to evaluate my capabilities in the field. Other than an initial mistake of firing before the point man was fully in position on one encounter, and a reconnaissance misread of enemy disposition on another, I think I acquitted myself well. Afterwards, amid debrief and discussion, she gave me a lesson in the arena in Vehl; there she graciously credited me with a solid hit (albeit my only hit before she laid me out cold on the floor). She continues to provide me with guidance in many areas: from crafting and weapons training to equipment selection and leadership. I have begun crafting my own arrows which, while a tedious process so far, has already born fruit in increased combat effectiveness. On her recommend, I have decided on my next shield and set of armor and have arranged for both already. (I am still awaiting the upgrade for my longbow, but as Sallaron was kind enough to fit my order in right before he intended to go on hiatus, I try to exercise patience)
While I have yet to formally start my training in the arcane arts, Timulty Keel has begun to point me in the right direction (notably to the Great Library in Dregar) and I have become involved in a small way in his and Elohanna's goal of re-opening a Tower of Learning in Hempstead. This Collegiate Arcanum is intended to foster continuing education in all forms of magic, and seems to have the support of many practitioners; negotiations are being opened with Hempstead officials to secure a property to house this effort.
As to the third path, while my beginning to train in that may be sometime off, Arynne was kind enough to give me letters of introduction for two senior Rangers who have followed the same path themselves. When next I meet them, I feel I will be in good hands.
As a side note, I did finally compile my notes on facts and assumptions regarding the unnerving couple I met near Ft Llast this spring and the set of events that I think might be related. I have since filed a report with someone who will see that it gets to the right people; perhaps I can finally get to speak directly with those in charge of investigating such matters.
Socially, after much consideration, I am spending more and more time on my own, both in the usual solitary pursuits of gathering and crafting, as well as in the field. I still see old friends from time to time and have made a few new ones as well, but I find myself most content when alone in the woods with only Thane for company. Undoubtedly this will change again, but for now it feels right; in fact, this recent practice seems oddly to have opened doors to meeting new people, rather than closing them.
C.A. Declar 26, 1431
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1432 has been a year of changes, most of them good, but some not so. Early in the year, I had a falling out with my dear friend Fianon. We both began to find our goals diverge and to travel in different circles. By spring we had come to spend time with each other hardly at all, and through a series of misunderstandings (many of them mine) found ourselves at cross purposes. We eventually patched things up, but our relationship seems to have permanently changed and not for the better.
In early spring, I finally got the longbow from Sallaron Tempest I had been anticipating: It is a fine weapon with substantial knockdown power. It is a mighty bow indeed and I am quite pleased with it! I also acquired from Sall a pair of gloves which enable me to travel much more unnoticed and even helps with my ability to reason with the wild animals with whom I come in contact. All in all, a transaction well worth the not inconsequential price.
About the same time, I met Elohanna's daughter Nemo, who I think took a bit of a shine to me. A very nice girl, though different from most, I chose not pursue anything further with her for several reasons, not the least of which is that I had eyes for her cousin Ayana. I had hoped to try and strike up a conversation with Ayana and see where it led, but alas, her presence on Mistone had become scarce. Curiously enough though, when I met Nemo, she was in the company of another elven woman unknown to me, one Amanda Coyle.
Amanda is a wizard of some considerable ability who was spending her time studying in the public square of Hempstead, hoping for news of her long lost younger brother, Lance. I endeavored to locate him for her, but was able to find little beyond confirming his apparent employment at the Leringard Arms. However, by summer he had resurfaced and I happened to be present at their reunion outside Hempstead. To say that Lance Coyle is overprotective of his sister is a gross understatement and he seems to have a view of women I find disturbing. He apparently thinks a woman's value is limited to 'entertainment' and sees all men's interaction with his big sister through those eyes. I found out later however that he is a recent widower and perhaps his loss has jaded his attitude. In any event, his response to the men in his sister's presence was to draw steel and threaten bodily harm; as I was among those there, suffice it to say that we did not get off to a good start, he and I. In spite of this, over the course of the year, Amanda and I have become fast friends and have seen each other frequently and corresponded just as often; I find myself being able to tell her things I wouldn't share with anyone else. There have been several more incidents with her brother, but Amanda seems to have taken him in hand and he has adopted a sullen, but quiet, belligerence towards me. This may yet come to blows but I sincerely hope it does not!
With the coming of summer, I was able to purchase and utilize both new armor and blades as well as an oaken shield Fianon made for me. Armed with new abilities (including a Dire Bear summons I named Grumpy, in honor of Fianon's by then superseded one) and a full panoply of new equipment, I found myself better able to undertake quests, gather commodities for sale, and patrol the forests and roadways on Mistone, Alindor, and the Dragon Isles.
About this time, several new developments took place. I had begun to travel with some regularity with an Iradril Arkenrahel, a powerful Spellsword and his companion Aeronn Kirath, a Paladin whom I had known for some time. In spite of my general prejudices against paladins, I found myself enjoying the company of both Aeronn and another old acquaintance, Lance Stargazer. It seems that beyond the rhetoric, some paladins, at least, live up to their reputation for unshakeable honor and bravery, and once you get to know them you can find real people under the steel plate.
I also found that the Red Lights caverns serve as an excellent weapons and tactics range and have taken to soloing there to hone my skills; it has now become a regular stop of mine for both the training and the ready bandage money available. In addition, with Arynne's absence during this year, I took it upon myself to do some mentoring of my own. I have undertaken the guidance of a younger ranger, Leshariel, and have shared with her many of the lessons I have learned both through hard experience and at Arynne's hands. Leshariel is quick to learn and has benefited, I think, from some trips in the field together, both by ourselves and in the company of others. I see her confidence growing and believe that she shows good promise.
The onset of winter brought disturbing news, or more precisely the lack of it: in Novlar, Fianon Brittlebow ceased to be found on Mistone or the other continents I know. While we have had our disagreements this year, I was surprised that he left without a word. I will maintain our rented room in Haven for as long as possible in the hopes of his return, but it is a burden I had not anticipated.
With the loss of a dear friend, the acquisition of new ones, advances in training, equipment and abilities, the continued pursuit of commodities for handsome profit, and some intelligence work, this has been an extremely full year.
C.A. Declar 30, 1432
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* In the autumn of 1433, he write his Aunt, as he has done so often before *
Dear Braith,
The time has flown by here, and I am progressing well in my vocation; I am well into the last stage of my training as a Ranger and will be embarking on the next phase of my career early next year. You were no doubt perplexed by my reference, in an earlier letter, to the Great Library in Dregar; evidently my source was more that a little unsure of his geography: The Great Library is on Voltrex, which I'm sure you knew. I also found out that the trip Hedessa had planned was to Alindor, not Dregar. And, the trip with my mentor to the Forest of Fog, never materialized largely due to her being fully occupied with other things. Perhaps now you can understand why I haven't visited you as planned. I have been to Dregar several times in the last many months, but each time it was a spur of the moment journey with a large group which I'm sure you would not have appreciated descending on you unannounced.
You will be pleased to hear that I have met someone with whom I am deeply smitten. Her name is Amanda Coyle and she follows the same discipline as you. We met in Apreal of last year, and have been seeing each other steadily ever since. She is a wonder, Braith: bright (in both senses of the word), beautiful, thoughtful, independent and straight forward; you'd like her, a lot! For the first time in a dozen years, I am feeling emotions I thought I would never feel again. After I lost Delyth, I was sure that I would have to settle for something less to find lasting companionship, but clearly I was wrong; in many ways Amanda touches my heart even more profoundly.
Just recently, she and I (along with some others) took a trip to Dregar, wherein Amanda led us across the continent and eventually to Folian's Temple in the Forest of Fog. A small thing you would think, but the circumstances surrounding the trip point up exactly how thoughtful and caring she is. You should know that she, like you, is not of a religious persuasion; yet, knowing mine, she had chosen Folian's Temple as the destination of a trip she had been planning especially for the two of us. Beyond that, we had recently lost someone we both knew, who (like another in our party) was also a follower of Folian. Amanda chose to sacrifice the surprise she had been planning for just us in favor of the aptness of the moment for others; being there, at that time, enabled us to say farewell to the departed in possibly the most appropriate place on Layonara. Also, I had told Amanda of Delyth, of my losing her to pneumonia when I was away, and of how that had haunted me for years. My guess is that Amanda surmised that Folian's Temple was one place in which I might find some lasting peace over that. It was and I did; standing there in His presence allowed me to close the door on my life with Delyth in serenity, and finally let her go.
The amazing part, Braith, is that Amanda does things like this often! And each time I think she has touched my heart more than is possible, she comes along and does something even more considerate and significant. I very much want you to meet her.
Caerwyn, Oclar 26
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This year began in significant ways, and has continued in that manner unabated. In Jenra, Amanda and I took an extended trip through Alindor, where we were gone for days and not once found ourselves lacking for conversation. She is such a lovely companion with whom to travel and is much more than the quiet, somewhat bookish, woman she appears; we think alike on so many levels. On that trip, it became apparent that we might be heading down a path beyond that of mere friendship; the time we took to become close friends before considering something more may well have been the wisest decision I have ever been party to.
Shortly thereafter, I attended a meeting of Rangers in the Wolfswood on Alindor. Techniques of all types were discussed in an open forum format moderated by Rodlin Serim; I saw a friendly side of him there I had not seen before (there was even a fishing trip organized by him after the meeting). Towards the end of the meeting, I, among others, received a gift of a gnomish lens with very useful properties, and there was a lottery for a ring Rodlin had made, which I was fortunate enough to win. As he handed me the ring, Rodlin intimated privately that I had a future of some note waiting ahead; stunned does not even begin to describe my feelings at that moment!
In Febra, Amanda and I again took a trip after which we spent many hours talking on a wide range of subjects from religion to children and everything in between. It was becoming clear to both of us by then that our feelings were growing, though each of us was reserved about voicing it for our own reasons. By the advent of spring, I had become sure enough of my own feelings towards her to speak words I had not used for many, many years. Not since Delyth's death have I felt so deeply about any woman. And while Amanda was still reticent to declare her feelings for me in words, her treatment of me left no doubt in my mind about where her heart was trying to lead her.
The spring and summer passed with us seeing each other as often as we could manage and corresponding with each other regularly; the falcon traffic back and forth between my residence in Haven and hers in Prantz must have appeared to the locals as some sort of confused migration pattern. It was during this time that I also returned to crafting. I diligently took up gem working (largely for the profitability of greenstone dust) and got fairly proficient at it; some have commented to me that the Red Lights must be my second home. Towards the end of the summer, I embarked on my last phase of Ranger training before beginning to work towards becoming a Wizard; it is debatable whether it is Amanda or I who is the more excited about that prospect.
In the autumn, an acquaintance of ours passed away; seeking solace in travel, we took an impromptu trip to Dregar which ended up in the Forest of Fog at Folian's Temple. Words cannot do justice to the emotions I felt in the Temple: standing there for the first time ever beside the woman I love, having the opportunity to say farewell to Abigail in the presence of the God both she and I follow, and finally finding some peace after losing Delyth; the experience still moves me profoundly even now.
This winter, I picked wood working back up after a long period of idleness in the craft and have gotten to the point where I can actually fabricate simple arrows with some regularity. The crafts ancillary to fletching have progressed along nicely as well and I have even taken to using the sawdust to make blank scrolls for Amanda's scribing, thereby improving my cooking skills as well. And just weeks ago, Amanda sent me a gift that still has me reeling: a blank spell book for my studies in wizardry with my name on the front cover and a lovely inscription on the final page.
This has been arguably the best year of my life so far!
C.A. Declar 27, 1433
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This is the private journal of Caerwyn Ahrail'lan, begun this day, Seplar 1, 1437. For almost seven years since coming to Mistone, I had no secrets of my own from the world, or none much worth protecting. That, however, was then and this is now. Events began last Novlar, the 14th to be precise, which have affected my life drastically. It was then that I came in contact with someone who, unbeknownst to me at the time, is the cause of the nightmare my life has become and I fear may bring both my beloved, Amanda Coyle, and myself to ruin.
That day, on my way to Wayfare from Hempstead, I, in the company of my friend, the barbarian Olmae, came upon a stranger in the Hempstead fields. He was elven height, face covered, and dressed in dark robes, with a horned cape and/or helmet. On meetings this person, no names were exchanged, as the tone immediately set by him was one of snide disdain and antagonism. He disparaged my polite greeting, referred to me as "child" and shortly thereafter offered to cut out my tongue and feed it to my ox, who he felt was blocking his way on the public road. Olmae and I walked off and proceeded to Wayfare, to tie the ox down there before returning to the pond outside Hempstead to meet Amanda. As we came back through Hempstead fields, we ran into several people including my old friend Ayana In'Darsus, who called over to me by name; the dark fellow that Olmae and I had met was still there and, according to Olmae, drew his sword immediately after I passed; perhaps it was the presence of others that stayed his hand, I don't know. Why this dark one chose to draw steel at that point, when he could have easily done so at our first meeting earlier, with fewer people about, I can only assume was do to my name being revealed by Ayana. Olmae and I proceeded to the pond, and, a short time later, Amanda arrived from the same direction we had come; she was visibly shaking (though trying to hide the fact), and she kept looking about furtively, as if she feared someone might have followed her there, hidden in some fashion.
Over the course of the next weeks and months, Amanda's behavior began to change, from sobbing frequently for no immediate reason, to stirring fitfully in my arms while we rested together, to working herself to the point of collapse, to not eating or drinking regularly. When I would try to find out what was wrong, she would evade, equivocate, or out rightly refuse to discuss it. The only explanation she has ever given is that she had entered into a bargain with someone who has threatened her into silence; she has reluctantly admitted that this threat includes the death of either herself, and/or those she cares deeply about, namely her brother Lance and myself, should she say anything about her bargain or the person with whom she made it. Several months after all this began, we were resting in each others arms in the Whitehorn when she received a message, delivered not by falcon, but by undead messenger bat!. She immediately arose, announced that she was heading off to Leringard (specifically forbidding me to accompany her), and left, saying she would send word soon and we would continue our walk; almost day later, I did finally receive a note saying only that she was 'tired' and returning to her home on Dregar. The next time we met, she winced in pain as I brushed the back of her head while putting my arm around her, as I had done so often before; she again equivocated saying it was nothing, only an little 'accident'. She has since let slip that the trip she took to Leringard was to pick up some 'protections' she had 'ordered'.
As a result of these happenings, my concern for the wellbeing of this woman whom I've loved for over four years has driven me (despite her warning against my getting involved) to try to identify the person whom I had met with Olmae, and whom I believed to be the source of her misery. By offering my description of this person to my friend, Iradril Arkenrahel, I have been able to get a name: Daralith Del'Mar, a fellow drow Iradril has known off and on for some 20 years. By scouring Leringard, door to door, I have found that this same Daralith Del'Mar owns a house there (# 133), located in the very area of the city where, when I passed through with her, Amanda became once again agitated and furtive, looking about for someone unseeable by me. This same Daralith has also publicly answered Amanda's posted advertisement seeking some rings, wherein he refers to her as "my child" and suggests that perhaps it's time she visit him "again". And, through interviews with Storold Doesscha and Elohanna Dawnstar, I have been able to learn that this Daralith has a long history of luring and/or coercing people into 'business' arrangements, whereby he has sought (often successfully) to place them ever further under his influence and, in some cases, to the point of corrupting them to evil. Further, he has a reputation of obtaining, whether by coercion or force, bodily material whereby he can scry and possibly compel those who 'work' for him. I worry now for my beloved's health, her safety, and her very soul!
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I am convinced that this Daralith Del'Mar is in fact the one terrorizing Amanda. I am also convinced that he continues to hold some sway over her; whenever I would bring up the subject of her troubles, she originally took to picking at her clothes and, since her trip to Leringard, has taken to fiddling with her bracelets instead. These bracelets, which she once admitted were the ones to which she added the 'protections' she 'purchased', she now claims are merely 'pretty'. In either case, I believe that she fears anything she says can be monitored by him and that he will retaliate somehow, if he detects something not to his liking. Anytime I have tried to convince her that she has become involved in something obviously far larger than she, she refuses to entertain the notion of any outside help or even to allow the subject to be mentioned, saying "just stay out of it". Amanda no doubt thinks she is protecting me and her brother from Daralith (though curiously her friend, Ami, with whom she lives, has never been included as one of his targets for retaliation, perhaps because she is a sorcerer of far greater skill with the Al'Noth than is he). I cannot seem to get her to see how serious this situation could eventually become, wherein she could lose herself to him or to evil, or to both.
-
In past last several months however, Amanda's health and general demeanor have returned to normal, yet she is still not herself again. She says she is "fine' but continues to show signs that she is living in fear. She says that her dealings with him are "over with" yet she remains adamant about refusing to allow them to be discussed, saying that talking about them is going to make things much worse than they are. She claims to have not seen this person for months, yet she is still constantly collecting items at no small risk to her life (notably bodak teeth, which she can't yet make use of herself, from Storan's Crypt, where she has already perished once for this); the bodak teeth are for 'sale', but out of the 3 boxes she has so far, she is selling but one and at a price well higher that the current market value. She insists that she can handle this on her own , but then will say "well, I hope it's done". Inconsistencies like these make me fear that she is either lying or fooling herself and feels herself to be under some permanent and enforceable prohibition.
How can this Daralith be stopped with her still in his clutches? How can she be even temporarily freed from his influence when she insists on this wishful thinking? Can Daralith be permanently removed and can I be present at the event? Part of me wants to hold his still beating heart in my hands and show it to him before his eyes finally lose their ability to see!
-
Absent any progress in reaching though to her in person, I have resorted to sending her a letter in which I lay out the specifics of the process by which people like this operate to ensnare their victims ever further, one small step at a time. I have since spoken with her, but she still insists that I "just let it go". I even suggested that there were places where any attempts to monitor her would be blocked, but she ended the conversation there without responding. She is in grave danger; why will she not listen? I tried to get her to see what this has been doing to us, driving us ever further apart; we are in real danger of becoming strangers over this. We have almost stopped writing to each other. We certainly have very little we can share in conversation anymore with much of her time being spent on things that cannot be discussed. We are ever less affectionate as this nightmare continues, and any talk of our marrying has ceased. And, worst of all we have both gotten into the business of lying to each other about our respective involvements in this situation; being straightforward and honest with each other was a basis of our relationship from the very beginning. Dear gods, can't she see what this is doing to her, to me, and to us?
I know she needs me to be her Caerwyn again and simply love her as she needs, now more than ever, and I do try. But that in itself is the worst lie of all: I am not the same person anymore. I am becoming ever more bitter as my frustration at her refusal to let me help grows. I pretend to share her wishful thinking, but all the while I am scheming to try and save her. I truly fear she may slip beyond anyone's ability to help should this continue for long. If she knew what I know or that I have involved others in this... The duplicity I now practice daily is starting to tear me apart. Sweet Folian help me; I am beginning to lose my grasp.
-
Here we are, a year to the day since this nightmare began, and seeming as if we continue to grow farther apart each time we meet. Yet about a month ago, Amanda surprised me with an extravagant gift: four lion bags, each embroidered with my name, plus a leather bound case equivalent in capacity and properties to a malar bag, also labeled. We had, in a rare pleasant and matter-of-fact conversation months ago, discussed that I much needed some things like this but nothing further had ever been mentioned. She explained that she had contracted with Tegan to have the four lion bags made and that Tegan herself gifted me the leather bound case. Amanda said that she was able to pay for all this by providing the materials for the lion bags plus a box of bodak teeth. Her eyes did smile so very brightly, for the first time in many months, as I opened her gifts; yet, when we parted shortly thereafter, her demeanor had cooled and she was once again at arms length. I couldn't help but feel then that she feared she would again soon be directly involved with this Daralith and that this gift from her might have been intended as a final one.
As I have tried to shake off that dark feeling, I have noted that we were approaching the anniversary of the start of our troubles, Novlar 14. I know how people like this Daralith operate; symbols like anniversaries are important to them as a means to remind their victims of exactly how long they have been subjugated. I fear that he will have called her to him today, and, once reminded, she will have been made to realize that there will be yet another year and another of her continued service to him. Time will tell, but I believe, deep in what's left of my heart, that the next time Amanda and I meet, she will once again be nervous and evasive, so much unlike the happy woman who gave me such an extraordinary set of treasures a month ago.
As of a week ago, I began to let slip to a few particular people (Ellis Kyudo, Verideth Lightbringer, Aeronn Kirath, and Daniella Stormhaven), that I had an interest in knowing the whereabouts of this Daralith. Those to whom I had spoken over the last six months about the situation with Amanda (Storold Doesscha, Elohanna Dawnstar, Iradril Arkenrahel, Balthazar Woll, and Olmae), I know I can trust to keep silent, but these new ones know only that I am interested in finding Daralith (ostensibly because of his threat to my person alone) and I have full confidence that they will be indiscrete. This should help keep tabs on Daralith and may put him off balance, while I formulate a detailed plan of action to see Amanda freed, even if it should come at the cost of her affection towards me.
As a side note, Ellis commented that Daralith is rumored to be able to make one cut out their own tongue, should he wish them to; is this one of the holds he has over Amanda?
-
My fears have so very regrettably turned out to be justified! I met Amanda on Novlar 22, barely a week after the dreaded 14th. She was both evasive and nervous, as predicted, but she was also marked! By looking closely, I could see that she had a small scar on her right cheek. Also, her speech was... odd. When I asked her about the scar, she said that it was nothing, but I could tell she was lying again; it seemed to embarrass her greatly as, when friends came upon us, she quickly pulled her hood up to hide it (though Verideth, who was present, spoke to me quietly saying that he had noticed the scar as being something new). Her speech was thick like that of one with a swollen tongue (Olmae, also present, noticed her odd speech as well) and , when I asked her what happened she dismissed it as her having merely bitten her tongue and that she drank a healing potion to make it better, but I think she was lying there as well. She kept looking about all the while, as if fearing someone unseen again.
Once Verideth and Olmae had left, I asked her if she had again met with her tormentor; she became evasive and tried to change the subject. I am convinced that Daralith had her meet with him again on precisely the 14th, and brutalized her to ensure that she remember that first anniversary for the rest of her life; I believe the scar on her cheek was intended to be a reminder of his control over her, every time she would stand in front of a mirror! Moreover, as I thought about it later, I began to wonder if Ellis' rumor could be true, that Daralith can, in fact, compel some people to mutilate themselves, just to let them know exactly how much sway he has over them. Much later I met with Timulty Keel, my mentor in the study of the Al'Noth, and asked him hypothetically if compulsion like that was possible; he proceeded to give me a slight demonstration that let me know that indeed it was. Did Daralith force Amanda to permanently scar her own beautiful face, but in only such a small way as to be noticeable by her and those with exceptional eyesight? Did he compel her to cut out her own tongue and then allow her to heal it, so that, after a time, only she would ever know what had happened? This evil bastard is isolating her ever further and raping her emotionally at every turn; he must be stopped!
We talked at some length after this, and I let her know that I had not been idle and had identified Daralith as her tormentor and knew much of his reputation. She panicked but did not bolt away as I feared she might; she asked how I came to know "these things" and I told her that Daralith had made two grievous errors: he accosted me in the Hemp fields, allowing me a physical description with which to pursue a name and he had arrogantly answered her advertisement, using the same tone and wording he had done with me. I also told her of one Lillian Dartforth whom I understand was once also similarly involved with Daralith and how it forever changed her life, and that of her onetime beloved Lyle Underroot. Amanda pressed me as to the names of any to whom I had spoken and I lied through my teeth and said only one name, Storold; again she panicked but seemed to accept that the ship had now already sailed.
It's possible that by talking to her then, when she was so vulnerable, I have managed to crack her shell a bit and finally have gotten get her to realize that she needs outside help to get out from under Daralith; I hate myself for having taken advantage of her condition, but this cannot be allowed to go on much longer, or she will be lost to him. I just received a letter from her as I write this, in which she, for the first time since this all began, admitted that she might have been in error thinking she could protect me from it all, though she still asked that I give her time "to try and end this" herself. On the other hand, I may have succeeded only in pushing her over the edge to the point where she will flee, as if that could solve anything. Dear Gods I feel rudderless and adrift!
-
Amanda found me sitting at the Hempstead fountain, a scarce two weeks later. She seemed much more like her old self and we had a more normal conversation than we've had in many months; we talked for the whole day. She was brighter, more affectionate, and seemed happier, though she still seems doubtful that this nightmare with Daralith may ever end. I believe she now realizes I am with her in this and that she does, in fact, need help, but she is still frightened of what the future may hold for her and us. I did not look for the scar on her cheek, for fear of upsetting her, but I will do so the next time I see her. Amanda's voice had returned to normal, though she still maintains that she had had a swollen tongue and nothing more.
Verideth came upon us there and he too could see that we seemed more like our old selves together. In the course of conversation, Verideth offered to make us heal potions for nothing if we would supply him the difficult components. When I asked Amanda if she still had plenty of bodak teeth left, she looked at me sideways and replied "a few". Evidently, the boxes of bodak teeth she had been collecting are now gone; it seems that her myriad trips to Storan's were for Daralith after all! At a minimum, the three boxes of bodak teeth would have cost Amanda over twenty runs through Storan's; gods know if she 'owes' Daralith more.
The now absent boxes of bodak teeth make me wonder if the box she used to pay for those wonderful gifts to me six weeks ago, was one of the one's Daralith was expecting. I suspect that any deal he makes with her does not have a set due date, but that he will call her to him when he feels that she has had enough time to complete her task; Amanda may well have thought that she could replace the 'embezzled' box, before he summoned her. When he did call her to him, I have no doubt that he would have used that shortage as his excuse to brutalize her, even though I believe he had already planned it to mark their 'anniversary'. I can see what may have well been the scene clearly in my mind. After berating her for not bringing him all that she was supposed to, he would have insisted that she be taught a lesson so that she will learn to respect his wishes more completely in future. Having compelled her to cut out her own tongue, and once her anguished tears and her blood were running down her face, he would have then 'mercifully' allowed her to heal herself. He then would have demanded that she cut her cheek "only a little" to reinforce the lesson. At that point, Amanda would have readily endured that lesser pain, believing that he would 'allow' her to heal that as well, only to find out that "No, you need a lasting reminder of what will happen should you ever fail me again". It is entirely possible that Amanda was forced to tell him why she was a box short and that the tongue and face mutilations were also intended to instill in her a sense of the folly of having affection for anyone! Each step he takes is designed, I'm sure, to isolate her further from all but him.
The more I try to walk around inside Daralith's head, the more I realize what true evil can be and the more determined I become to find some way to free my beloved.
-
* In Oclar of 1439, Caerwyn retrieves his journal from its hiding place and blows the years of dust off the cover. Opening it slowly and with reluctance, he sits down to write: *
Amanda and I are no more. Back in the spring of 1438, mere months after showering me with expensive gifts, she informed me, matter of factly, that she no longer wished to become my wife. She still professed undying affection, but told me, in flat tones, that she had more serious matters occupying her thoughts which prevented her from being able to maintain a romantic relationship. She then wept her crocodile tears and I left, foolishly offering her a chance to try again, if and when she should find herself free from this nightmare in which she had allowed herself to become embroiled. *sighs as he writes* Serious matters indeed, but it was her, not I, who chose to ignore them for so long, until they became insoluble. I didn't credit it at the time, but I have since come to wonder exactly how much she was trapped by Daralith and how much by her own desire for power and wealth; as time has passed, I think it more the latter than the former. I'm sure that, despite my explicit and repeated warnings, she did not grasp how truly dangerous doing business with Daralith Del'Mar could be; I'm just as sure that, at least in the initial stages, she was blinded by the promise of what she could acquire through him. I also am now convinced that her gifts, bestowed months earlier, were intended as some sort of consolation prize for that which she had already decided, though she had the despicable taste to delay until the pond at Hlint. It seems we had very different definitions of how lovers should treat one another.
Barely a month later she sent me a letter asking if there wasn't some way we could still be friends and continue to travel together! After over five years of loving her, I sent a bitter reply to this idiotic suggestion informing her that the chances of that were slim; I did however (much to my regret now) reiterate my offer to see where we stood should she find herself freed from Daralith's influence, as she claimed she intended to be. We passed on the road a few times after that and I had nothing to say to her; I had lost any desire to even acknowledge her presence!. I then received another letter, this one of curt apology, in which she claimed to understand my feelings and vowed to not contact me again. Would that she had meant it!
I spent the next year or so wandering, largely alone. Old friends and total strangers treated me coldly, as if Amanda's troubles were somehow at my hands; had any known what I went through over the final two years with Amanda, I think they would have seen it differently. The silence imposed on Amanda (and by extension on me) by Daralith has left so much unknown to others regarding how it was that she and I had become so estranged: how I, as her intended, was expected to do something to save her from Daralith, while she lied ever more fluently to impeded my efforts at every turn; how she begged me to not do anything, as she kept insisting that she would 'handle it' or that he would simply 'get tired of her and move on'; how I struggled to keep loving her as she grew colder and more aloof, even as she continued to profess her affection for me; how I too had to become mendacious in my efforts to find a solution for her; how she ended up throwing away our affection for naught, since she is still involved with Daralith.
It was during this period, that Amanda came to me (despite her promise to leave me be), accusing me of spreading rumors about her turning evil and studying necromancy under a dark elf! She also revealed what had actually happened on her first 'anniversary' with Daralith: Evidently, she had attempted to intimidate him into leaving her alone, by telling him that 'someone' had noticed her previous wounds at his hands and had been 'asking questions'; the marked cheek and cut tongue that I (and others) noticed in Wayfare so long ago were the result (it seems my envisionment wasn't very far off). She also confessed that as a result of this 'silly mistake' of hers, she had given up my name to Daralith; I was dumbfounded at her accusation and livid at her stupidity, both of which will now have me looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life!
I have since found out from whence these 'rumors' came. Evidently, Verideth Lightbringer (to whom I had told my troubles shortly after Amanda and I parted) chose to share what I had told him (in confidence) with his twin brother, Aerimor, renowned for his hatred of both dark elves and necromancy. Apparently, it was Aerimor who told Amanda (and gods know who else!) that I had been spreading these rumors, feeling that this would somehow get she and I talking again! I had never used the words 'evil', 'necromancy', or 'study' in reference to Amanda with anyone! Verideth, like a very few others, including Storold Doesscha, knew (from me) that Daralith was the one tormenting Amanda and that I was furious at her having given up my name to him, but the words 'dark elf', or their implication, never passed my lips to anyone else. Verideth was abjectly apologetic to me about his breaking our confidence and swore that both he and Aerimor owed me a debt as a result, suggesting I say as much to Aerimor as well. I followed Verideth's advice, and while Aerimor seemed to agree, the next thing I knew, Amanda was speaking to me yet again about my alleged rumor mongering and telling me that she had made some agreement by which Daralith would 'never come after me'; gods only know what she has chosen to give up to him now, I can think of few things she has left to surrender! . It seems that the world is populated with meddlers, who feel it is in their province to interfere in the lives of others, be it Aerimor , Amanda, or whomever. I suspect that whatever Amanda may have agreed to for my 'safety' will now be to no purpose, as I'm sure these 'rumors' (and their supposed source) have now reached Daralith's long ears. I hope Aerimor's precious sense of balance is worth it to him; he has ended up by having me endangered and virtually friendless. He is also now on my list of those to be repaid someday.
* Caerwyn jams his quill back in the inkpot, slams the journal shut. Blowing out the candle, he heads for the nearest inn and a stiff drink *
-
* On New Year's Day of 1441, Caerwyn once again opens his journal to write: *
I joined the Orc Basher's Guild, shortly after Amanda and I had parted ways, and have tried to bury myself in work but it hasn't been cathartic as I'd hoped. As time went on, I too have become colder and more aloof; I've taken to making a conscious effort to turn my heart to stone; it will be a long process but numbness seems pretty appealing of late. Friendship, romance, even companionship hold less attraction for me than they once did; the pain of betrayals is not something I hope to feel again. In fact, the few new faces who have approached me over the last months have been met with polite indifference. I've been taking questing work where I can find it, but beyond that, and outside of a few of my old friends who will still speak to me, I'm finding I care less and less about the fates of others, save how it might advantage me.
The fact that I have yet to see coin-bloody-one from my association with the guild has me more than a little irked. It's been over two years and all I have to show for it is some new swords and a slightly better suit of armour. The worst part of it is that, as a guild member, I am prevented (at least publicly) from selling anything I may make directly, which has left me without any appreciable income, save what I can loot from corpses on the battlefield. I used to be a patient man, but this situation is untenable in the long term.
I've done some collecting (gratis) for Jilseponie Kendall, in anticipation of one day tapping her for tutelage on advanced archery. We met (after many years of not running into one another) on a few quests where we conversed at some length; she seems nice enough and we seem to get on well. She can be sharp, but I've not yet seen her be so with me, absent good reason; I'm thinking being instructed by her will be good for me. In some ways, I suppose I have the collecting I did for her to thank for my having taken up Alchemy, to which I find myself drawn, perhaps even more that working in wood; *smiles a little as he writes* I've taken to it with a vengeance! It dawns on me, that once I've expanded my skills in Alchemy, I might consider branching out into other concoctions; ones that have no market with the guild.
-
* Once again, in what has come to be a bit of a pattern, Caerwyn retrieves his journal, opens it, and sits to write, on this morning of the first day of 1442: *
My work for the guild continues, and is still unsatisfying, both in terms of helping me move on and in terms of remuneration; I have still not seen a single true coin! Five months ago, Barion Firesteed passed out of this world and the leadership he had provided to the guild for many years is now absent, a vacuum woefully unfilled. Decisions regarding pricing, inventory, and what's needed going forward have fallen to Tegan, though apparently, she has other things occupying her time. I do know two things for fact: 1) in the three and a half years I've been part of this guild, there has not been a single meeting of the membership and 2) the current staffing of the guild stands at a mere five members, with Lance Stargazer and myself as the only ones remotely active; I have a feeling that whenever it does come time to empty the coffers in a payday, Lance and I will be getting our mere one fifth, if that! If things don't improve in the next year or so, I shall be seeking a new situation.
A couple of months ago, Amanda contacted me, yet again, on the subject of my alleged denigration of her and announced her intention to give up her career (I would guess then returning home to her parents, as she had threatened to do once, long before this Daralith nightmare began). Evidently, she doesn't much like being ignored. * rolls his eyes* I sent back a sharp reply, indicating that I had little interest in what she did regarding that, but that she would be mistaken to try and blame her decisions on me!
The past few months have seen a change in me socially. I still cannot fully understand what has happened to make old friends like Iellwen stop speaking to me, but I have managed to find others with whom to travel: notably, Sophia, a Xeenite half-elven mage and, of all people, the sorceress, Jaelle Thornwood. I had occasion to be questing with Jaelle regarding kidnappings in Vehl and got to see a side of her then, that I had not seen previously. She exhibited a caring for these children (one of whom had been brutally slaughtered, another recovered, two others still missing) of which I had not thought her capable, certainly not to the degree that I witnessed. I still find it difficult to trust others, women especially, given all that has transpired in my life over the past half decade or so, but their company is pleasant and I do get to travel again. Jaelle and I are starting to become friends, I think, and Sophia and I... well we are forming a slightly different relationship. Sophia has many of Hedessa's qualities, but is somewhat darker of temperament; still and all, she's good company and an interesting time. These two women are exactly what I need right now, though for very different reasons.
-
~ New Year's Day, 1443
The past year has seen a sequence of developments in my life, some better and some worse.
My education in the weaving of the Al'Noth has progressed to where the spells at my disposal, and their durations, have finally become of actual value to me in the field. I have also been able to learn how to cast the spells I use, without needing to rely on material components, a welcome change which frees me to experiment more.
The bloody guild still hasn't ponied up with any payment, and my patience grows increasingly thin with this. I find myself facing challenges in the field with inferior equipment, which, absent some regular income, I can ill afford to upgrade; I am between a rock and a hard place: I cannot afford rearm myself in order to collect the resources I need to improve my skills, nor can I afford to simply leave the guild unless and until I get the back pay due me. That coupled with my being shunned by most of my old friends (assumedly at Amanda's hands, given her continued delusion that I have been impugning her reputation), had me growing increasingly embittered as the year went on.
As a result, I came very close to succeeding in my efforts to turning my entire being to stone, but for the efforts of Sophia and Jaelle. Sophia and I became lovers for a time and she revived the passionate side of me I thought long dead. We both understood that our relationship had little to do with heart and in that regard she was safe for me. There would be no heartbreak on either side whenever we finally decide to end the affair.
With Jaelle, it was my mind and conscience that she touched, at least initially. As the year progressed, she and I came to be quite good friends. The more I see of her, the more I begin to appreciate her depth. We seem to truly enjoy each other's company, be it in the field or sitting quietly beside a fire, conversing as ones who have been close for much longer than we have. Somewhere in the spring, in Mai I think, she and I were at Corax Lake after a disastrous outing fighting giants. The subject of Amanda came up and I spit out all the venom I had been holding in for so long. Jaelle brought me up short (as only a good friend can, or will) and made me see that this whole affair surrounding Amanda and Daralith had poisoned me, nearly irrevocably. As summer passed into fall, Jaelle and I began to slowly take steps with each other that transcended those of mere friendship. Each of us, I think, goes into this with the full understanding that it may not last; our only expectations are that we will be honest with each other (about us at least) and that we will travel this road together for only as far as it goes.
In Oclar, Amanda came to me wanting to talk, again. *sighs with remembered annoyance* For the first time, she appeared to show some actual contrition for all that she had put me through. She went on and on about how much she had cared for me and how it was she that had made a mess of things between us. She confessed her poor judgment in listening to the words of others regarding me and what she had thought I had been doing to her. She then turned right around and professed concern for what people have been saying about what I'd supposedly become. She refused to elaborate but seemed insistent that all I needed was the love of a good woman and I could be happy again; she is so naive about so many things. I was firm about how I felt wronged but, taking Jaelle's advice, gave Amanda the absolution for which she had obviously come. I left her with the clear impression that I no longer held any ill feelings about her and that we might very well be able to be friends again, but, in truth, I doubt if I will ever be able to forgive her. The woman used me shamelessly for years to fulfill some illusion and only came clean with me once she had found a new illusion, elsewhere. I truly hope she does get clear of Daralith, but I doubt she ever will, at least not in her soul. I also doubt she will ever have either the sense or heart to realize what her meteoric rise to proficiency in weaving the Al'Noth has cost, both her and me.
Towards the end of Decilar, Amanda made a point of coming to me yet again: this time with the announcement that she and Storold had become romantically involved (hardly a surprise, given his history and hers). I can think of no reason why she would want to tell me other than to try to cause me more unhappiness, despite her protestations that her telling me was, once again, something she was doing for my own good. My dear friend, Ayana (one of my few old friends who has stood by me), was beside herself with anger at this, feeling much as I do as to the real reason for the announcement. I say they deserve each other: Storold gets the compliant flesh golem he's always wanted and Amanda gets a refreshed illusion of security. I think it's a toss up as to who is using whom more!
As the year wound down, Jaelle and I had become a good deal closer, spending a fair amount of time together. She and I saw in the New Year together and, at her suggestion, we came up something that might become an annual ritual for us: We stood on the pier in Leringard and, having bought two pairs of flowers, we each placed one of them in a flask, along with a private note. We then tossed our flasks into the sea in unison, as a small sacrifice to the gods for their aid and guidance in the year now ended. We each kept one the remaining flowers to remind us of the promise of the coming year. The note in my flask read simply "Today"; this was a significant indicator of where my interests have come to lie.
-
~ Augra 28, 1443
I fell today in Storan's Crypt and was visited again by the Soul Wench. My time in the world becomes ever shorter, and I don't have very many chances left; perhaps not even enough to accomplish some of the things I wished. I am greatly embarrassed that, try as I might, I cannot solo in Storan's. I will see what happens when, and if, I can afford better armour and weapons; as of now I simply can no longer afford the risk. This will have some serious implications to my practice of Alchemy but, should the guild pay up as they have promised, I'll be able to pay someone else to risk there lives there, perhaps Elinmire, a competent mage with whom I have had some dealings.
Early in Jenra, I spoke with Sophia. Her beloved, Jharl, had returned; she was no longer in need of my intimate company and I, as I have told Jaelle, am a 'one woman-at-a-time' man. Breaking off with Sophia has had some consequences which I hadn't expected but, knowing her, they do make sense. We still travel together occasionally and are cordial, if not as friendly as I'd hoped, but I am no longer the beneficiary of her wards in battle, unless she has some to spare after warding those with whom she is still intimate.
Barely two weeks later, Jaelle and I were questing together near Krandor, in pursuit further information regarding the troubles of the Legdinium family in Corsain. Frustrated with the lack of decision by many of the large party, I went forward to find the mad hermit that we sought. I missed seeing the runes on the floor and sank, incapacitated, inside what turned out to be a necromantic circle. I recall being frozen there, barely able to speak back a warning to the others, only to see a young cleric named Malina come into the circle to aid me. When she too sank, as I had, I remember thinking: "Didn't you hear my warning? What were you thinking?" And when that idiot Fehriel touched the skull and died on the spot, I had even more unkind thoughts. It was only when I emerged from the circle to see Jaelle fallen dead, that my sympathies returned. This 'selective' compassion has been growing in me for some time and, frankly doesn't feel all that wrong to me anymore. I carried Jaelle's body back out of the cave after the encounter, with little thought for those others that fell, save perhaps Malina, who, though misguided, did try to help me.
I carried Jaelle's body back to her home in Krandor, seeking Connor's advice and help. He whisked us through a portal to Leringard and rowed us out to the Temple of Mist. Jaelle stayed at the Temple of her Goddess three days (as did I), while they worked to revive her and repair what damage they could; it is still indeterminate how much lasting harm has been done by my carelessness. On returning to Krandor, we found that all the young children in the town had been visited with terrible dreams (each night that Jaelle was in the Temple of Mist), sent by the one who controlled (or was controlled by) the necromantic circle in that cave: the shade of one Admun Kretorin, executed as a necromancer 150 years ago. In these dreams, Admun's shade promised to murder each child he had visited through dreams, should the 'shard' he seeks not be brought to him; this shard is what we believe is contained as part of the brooch owned by Mirium Legdinium. Absent the guilt I feel for Jaelle's death, I would not care very much about having crossed Admun, were it not for the fact that three of Krandor's children, now threatened, are ones cared so deeply for and about by Jaelle: two of the the three children she sacrificed so much to rescue (Lissa and Liam) and her own child, Aislin, who has captured this heart I had feared long dead, as much as her mother has. While Aislin is not, and will never be, mine, she is one of a bare handful of children for whom I would still give my life to keep safe.
Sometime in the spring, I heard that Amanda had somehow been able to buy a house for her and Storold, a mere few doors down from where I have lived for a decade, an address she knows very well. Evidently, she did not feel the need to come to me herself with that!. The bloody woman will simply not leave me be; I will have to make some new living arrangements.
As the year has progressed. the relationship between Jaelle and I has deepened, but hasn't lost the pleasure of simply enjoying each other's company. Our most intimate moments are often in the most mundane of things: working together to train her new, hot-tempered, stallion; engaging in battle, just the two of us; resting comfortably in each others arms as we talk for hours at a time; some of our more spectacular arguments. *smiles slightly at the last* Our fleeting moments of passion are tender, warm (rather than hot), and often full of wonder, as each of us slowly re-learns how to trust in that again, albeit for disparate reasons. I'm told, by her, that we have become the subject of much rumor and some criticism; dear gods, do people really not have anything better to do than gossip and meddle? *shakes his head, sadly*
Just a few weeks ago, I traveled once again to the Temple of Mist to make an offering for their efforts in restoring Jaelle to life after she fell in that cave near Krandor. I surrendered one of my most precious possessions, a gift from Master Jin Lun Lee. I know my faith in Folian has been shaken these last few years, but I hope He will understand. I remember praying in His Temple, over a year ago: "It shames me to say that I no longer see the world as I once did and fear I may stray from your path a little from time to time. Please guide my steps so that I don't stray so very far as to lose Your grace entirely, as I search to find meaning in the world again and to make myself more balanced."
Life has become too short; from here forward, unless something will affect me or those people/things about which I care deeply, or there is an outcome that can potentially serve my ends, my days of trying to being friend to most have drawn to a close. I will continue to be true to close friends but will learn better how to smile and tell others what they wish to hear, though I'm sure my lowered tolerance for the meddlers and idiots of the world will cause the occasional flash of honest temper to show.
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~ New Year's Day, 1445
Much of this past year has been spent in answering calls for aid from locals in and around Mistone. The plight of the Legdinium family came to a head in the Krandor Crypts. There, as part of a sizeable party led by Toranites, we met and defeated Admun Kretorin's minions and his shade. I fell in the process, but the Soul Wench's cold touch did not find me. Small price to have paid for Aislin's release from Admun's threat; Jaelle was understandably much relieved. Of the Legdinium family, we have received no news and I can only hope that with Admun's demise, both Mirium and her child are also freed from his influence.
The authorities in Mariner's Hold called for help with a sudden spate of deaths and apparent hauntings at the docks there; many answered, including myself. Jaelle and Connor Garvil kept most of their efforts between themselves, as is their wont in the field, which did not sit well with many of the party, myself included. In fact, she and I had had a heated argument a year or so before on the very same subject, when we had gone to investigate the portals which had appeared within the Red Lights caverns. She was mistaken then to think that my concern was some sort of juvenile desire to demonstrate my affection for her, and I had sent her a sharp letter to that effect. She had seemed to understand after that, but *sighs a little* some things simply don't change. When she is in the company of her mentor, she tends to forget all around her, including those who came to lend their aid, such as it may be. That said, the romance between Jaelle and I seems to be continuing forward with each of us letting down our guards a bit more as the months roll by. I find myself more content with her than I thought I'd be.
Shortly thereafter, I traveled with Master Jin and Argali Trueaxe to seek some way to restore the potential for couples of mixed races to enjoy the happiness of offspring. We spoke at length with Rithredia (with whom I had conversed before) in Blackthorn Castle seeking a better understanding of the keys that are needed to undo this terrible wrong, but as yet we are still at a loss. Hopefully Master Jin will bring back some clues at a later time.
My skills in alchemy continue to develop and I find myself succeeding much more than failing these days. Gods know I've taken enough trips through the Battlehelm Moors for ginger and ginseng. I am fairly pleased with my progress but, absent being able to acquire bodak teeth on my own, I feel I would be advancing even more quickly. I have had the occasional trip trough Storan's with Hedessa (whom I had not seen in many years) which has helped somewhat. I've also been doing some more wood working and have managed to crank out the occasional sheaf of mahogany shafted arrows as well as a mahogany Longbow of the Hunter, made as a gift for a young ranger, Keppli Quickhands, in whom I had long taken a mentor's interest. Keppli has now surpassed me in the ways of the forest and I felt a 'graduation' gift was in order. *smiles to himself*
At the very end of the year, I participated in a martial arts competition in Morholt, where I managed to take second place behind a half giant as I recall. *chuckles a little* I also made contact with Chakar of the Angel's guild, testing the waters about my possibly joining their ranks. He seemed amenable but I asked that they hold off any consideration for a year or so, in order for me to give the Orc Basher's time to adjust to Barion's absence. We'll see.
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~ Janra, 1446
The first part of the year found me in the company of Ayana In'Darsus again. Ever since I had been discarded by Amanda, I've never been sure what Ayana was thinking about us. I cannot bring myself to act on my feelings for her as, of all the people I know, she is the one I would wish to hurt least. I frankly am no longer able to give to anyone that which I think she would have wanted from me; I had told her as much as we had sat and talked and wept together in Allurial, those years ago. In any event, she was at a loss over her lover Dradnats' mysterious disappearance and, while she was clearly unsure of how she still felt about him, wanted desperately to find him or news of his fate. I accompanied her to his temple at Katherian where, even after interviewing one of the high priestesses there, could discover no news. We traveled back to Mistone, disheartened, and after a long talk in Palden Lake, I left her to her confusion and grief.
Sadly, there was no opportunity to celebrate the arrival of the New Year with Jaelle again this year, as her presence has been sporadic. *sighs slightly* Months later however, she did answer a call (as did I, and happily, Ayana and Dradnats, once again reunited and very much in love ) from a beleaguered village which had become the victim of an inept alchemist (well intentioned, I think). Romance was in the air and once the mystery had been solved and, for the most part, put right, we repaired to a house in Leringard. The spark between us had dwindled and in some ways our time together in general was becoming ... forced, for lack of a better word. I don't know what had happened between us, but it seemed as if we were spending time together more out of a sense of obligation to what we had become rather than any real desire for the other's company. Time will tell; perhaps this is only a phase. *shrugs*
In autumn, I began formal training in the ways of the Arcane Archer, under the direction and tutelage of Jilseponie Kendall. She has taught me much already: how to steady my hand, why that is more important than the strength of my arm, how to read the battlefield better (especially to note, going in, all the avenues of advance and retreat). She has explained in some detail how the Al'Noth can be woven into an arrow just before it's let fly and how, as my skills advance, the impact of that weaving will increase in different and substantial ways. She has shown me that mobility can be a greater defense than armour for an archer and suggested that a horse is something I should look into acquiring. Through Lance Stargazer's good offices I have acquired a fine Hunter's bow of yew wood from the guild which helps immensely! The primary lesson I've taken away from my sessions with Jil is that it's the hand that finds the mark and the bow that delivers the killing force; I had been putting far too much focus on drawing the bow back as far as I could pull and sacrificing accuracy as a result. I've been practicing much between sessions and have found that, by calling on aid from my god or even by weaving the Al'Noth, I can find my mark much more often and let the bow itself do the work. She's a pretty good teacher. *nods as he writes this last*
Following Jil's advice, I finally bought a horse for myself at the close of the year. I named her formally Aelal Oileanir (Even Faith, in my father's tongue), but her stable name is simply Seccea. *smiles* She's a good little mare that rides much bigger than she stands.
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~ Janra, 1447
Not a week after getting Seccea, someone fleeing trouble brought it down upon her where she was stabled behind the house in Haven Castle. She was mortally wounded, but with careful tending and much appeal to the heavens I was able to help her recover her health; she's as right as she ever was now and I am being extremely careful with her going forward! Occurrences like this can bind man and beast in ways almost mystical; she has become a steadfast comrade who gives much and asks little. How different from the fickleness of so many bipeds.
In early spring, I joined a party to escort a dwarven emissary back from Blackthorn to his home in the mountains. Jaelle was present as well and absent her usual secretiveness whilst 'working' she and I again seemed more like our selves together. This time the focus of her private collusions was the tiefling, Steel, of whom I had heard much but with whom I had not yet traveled. As a result of their whispered plans, when things finally did come unraveled, much of the party was caught by surprise and, absent Sala Stonehill's healing intervention, I would have died. I had some pointed words afterwards with Steel and he allowed as he only reveals his plans to those he knows and trusts (there again is that 'justification' for 'independent' action, often at the expense of others, in this case, me!). We spoke at length outside Vehl and it was all I could do to keep a civil tongue in my head at the time. He seemed to consider being a bit more forthcoming, at least to me, in future. We've had some fairly unheated conversations since; I never pass up an opportunity to learn.
A few weeks later, I embarked on another mission, this time to Audira on Dregar. A criminal, about to be executed, had managed to arrange for explosive devices to be secreted around the city and while we were successful in finding most of them, the prisoner did in fact escape. Jaelle and I actually managed to work together for the most part, though things were cool afterwards.
Just prior to those trips, I had taken Jilseponie's advice and acquired an Ilsare's Firey Eye longbow and a Shadon's Trapping shortbow. Over the course of this year, I've taken good advantage of the plentiful and powerful ammunition they each magically provide. The flaming arrows from the Ilsarian bow, I reserve for use underground where collateral fires won't be such an issue. The electrically charged arrows from the Shadonite bow, I use in the forests and find them to be of good effect. The main advantage however is that I no longer need to spend so much of my time crafting all the arrows that I use up. This has freed me to spend more time making other things I both need and use. My alchemy skills continue to progress and I can say with some confidence that I've become quite adept at it. I've spent a good deal of time learning to cook better (largely so I don't ruin the sandpaper I need for working with mahogany) and find myself to have become a fair baker of pies and maker of roasts. This year, I also started to learn how to sew and have begun to fashion my own bandages (albeit rudimentary ones so far). All in all, I have finally come to the point where most of my useables are made with my own hands, a source of no little satisfaction to me. In fact, I managed to make my own supplementary hardware for this yew longbow and Jil was gracious enough to see to it that it got installed properly; this is now a very formidable weapon. I continue to learn, train, and put into practice all that Jil teaches, both of archery in specific and battle ways in general. I try to reach for the Al'Noth as I let fly, but as yet I cannot find the key. With more time and training I'm sure I'll grasp it, perhaps in a couple of years.
In autumn, one Isherwood Smithson, with whom I have had some guild dealings, mentioned that his friend, Keppli, was seeking employment. I allowed as how the guild could use a shop girl to take orders and work the counter. I proffered her name to the guild members and, while all seemed to be in agreement, nothing came of it and no mention of the resolution was made. Management seems to be in short supply and that, coupled with no payday in the last nearly five years, will likely drive me to speak with Ben Poetr about possibly joining the Angel's guild.
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~ Janra, 1448
At the turn of the year, I found myself answering yet another call for assistance, this time in Lyn, investigating a series of grizzly murders. All indications pointed to the acts of a lycanthrope, but the trail ran as cold as the night by the pond where Tod Fellow and I had lay hidden in the night waiting for the suspected lycan's return. Towards dawn, I grew impatient and began to search the shoreline waters with my hand; feeling about in the dark, I pulled up a severed head of one of the victims. After returning town with this ghastly trophy, I had a chat with the local bartender and discovered that the first victim's girlfriend was being pestered by one of the older townsmen, who had just left. Phyress Sylphide (with whom I had worked before on a series of 'working girl' murders in Mariner's Hold) and I tracked him through a snowstorm to his home and, peering in the window, I noticed the man resting before his fire and saw the clear marks of large claws in the floor. We sped back to town, given the party's suspicions of lycanthropy, and returned with the others to confront him. Whether by rage or not, he assumed his very large lupine form and fell to the swords of Mor Eastleaf and Jako Stonehill, before any questioning could be undertaken. A search of the house, after the fact, revealed a journal, wherein he admitted to the murder's.
On returning from that trip, I made a point of seeking out Ben Poetr and asking to be put up for consideration to the Angel's guild. He seemed pleased at the prospect of sponsoring me and I know many of the members who I had thought would speak favorably of me. However, just before the guild was to meet to discuss this, I was accosted on the road in Wayfare by the elf, Razerium who launched, out of the blue, a vituperative, rambling and, ceaseless tirade, in front of a group exclusively made up of Angel's guild members. He accused me of being an aspiring necromancer, a liar, a bully, a cheat, of persecuting Amanda; the list went on. Those assembled tried, in vain, to defend me and to get Razerium to listen to reason but, as he went on and on, one by one they each left in disgust. The next month, when the guild met, few would stand for my membership. As I understand it from some of those present, Aerimor Lightbringer and his spouse, Alatriel, voiced their objections to me and worked to convince most of the others to reject my application; their not simply using the veto power available to any Angel's member smacks of something personal and slanderous. So, between Razerium, Aerimor, and Alatriel, my chances at changing guilds have been successfully scuttled. Ben sent me a nice letter of rejection and we had a chat over a beer later. The reasons he gave were all quite 'plausible' but I think he was being both polite and professional. I also have noted that, since the guild meeting, I have had few kind words, if any, from most of my old friends in the Angel's; gods know what was said about me or how true it was, but no one will discuss it with me. Evidently, not content with having interfered between Amanda and I nearly a decade ago, Aerimor (and now Razerium) seems bent on stifling my relationships with others, be they personal or professional.
My training with Jilseponie continues and I learn more with each meeting. She has convinced me (and my experiences since back this up) to rely more and more on my bow and less on my swords, except as a defensive posture when toe-to-toe with an adversary with no avenue of retreat. It's difficult for me to change old habits, but I'm trying. That said, Jil's recommendation of 'shoot and move' rather than 'standing my ground' has paid off each time I've exercised it! I've taken to committing to memory more spells to steady my hand when I go into combat but the spells just don't last long enough for the trips; I have put it about that I'm seeking an ioun stone to remedy that problem; hopefully, one will become available soon. I've cut the first two fingertips off the gloves that I wear on my right hand and have noticed a marked improvement in my accuracy. I have even changed the way I draw my bow, raising up as I pull back rather than drawing down; it is only in the last quarter of the pull when I extend my left arm fully to complete the draw. I find this aids in holding the draw steady longer, giving me more time to aim properly without any shaking. At the close of the year, I started training with arrows in Stormcrest to develop my bow for endless ammunition and have spent a great quantity of arrows doing so. As time goes on though I find myself reconsidering whether I truly wish to limit myself to only one type of arrow with this marvelous bow. Try as I might, I still cannot find the way to call on the Al'Noth as I shoot but soon, I hope, I will master the rudiments.
Jaelle's presence has been scarce for most of this year, with the exception of a trip we shared in Dapplegreen, trying to help some wee folk. She took exception to being shrunk with the rest of the party and her mood got fouler from there on. Given our lack of time spent together, I fear we are drifting inexorably apart. *sighs sadly as he writes * Were I to get a letter now and then to let me know I still entered her thoughts, I would feel differently but it's futile to try and maintain a relationship through such long absences without any contact at all. Perhaps things will come right again, but I think they will not, from either side.
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~ Janra, 1449
As in previous years, much of my time has been spent crafting and answering calls for aid. As to the crafting, I have become fairly skilled at making bandages of high potency and have managed an enchanted bag or two as well. Notable on calls for aid were two trips.
The first was another Toranite expedition, led by Ms Stormhaven, who was her usual snotty self to me. When her brashness with a trapped door got not only herself slain but also some poor youngling, Eleandilethessa Quil'lyn, I could not contain myself and made a passing comment on the event, which was met with a sharp invitation from Ms Stormhaven for me to leave; I did not. The rest of the trip passed without fatal incidents and we were successful at undoing some Toranite magic which, while it had been well intentioned, had had deleterious side effects (why am I not surprised by that?).
On a brighter note, Phyress Sylphide invited me to join her on a trip back to her childhood hometown to assist herself, Galathea and Fleur in rescuing her mentor who had been kidnapped by the minions of one Sashka, a bandit leader whom Phyress had apprehended and seen jailed. The trip was long and eventful with the end result of us succeeding (barely) and upsetting Sashka's plans to activate her army of golems. Good companions all and we seemed to work well together. I have since heard that this Sashka has escaped and I would lend my skills to help track her down again, should I be asked.
In the early spring of 1448, Jaelle came to me in Allurial. She told me that her feelings toward me had "mellowed into those of friendship". I was not terribly surprised and did not much challenge it for two reasons: 1) We had agreed when we started out that we would follow this road together only for as long as it led: that if either of us said we were done, we were done and 2) Our relationship had been strained by increasing absence from each other for several years; had the desire been there, the effort would have been as well. *shrugs a little* I still care about both her and Aislin and hope we can remain friends, but time will tell and I shan't be the one making the only effort. We had a good run together , she and I, for the first few years at least and I harbor no great regrets at our time together.
A few months passed without seeing Jaelle again but we were thrown together by happenstance on a trip which involved a pair of star-crossed lovers who happened to be gelatinous cubes. *chuckles as he writes* One came seeking assistance from a group of us gathered in Stormcrest. Sadly, he was slain by one of our party, which put a crimp in our investigation to say the least. Jaelle was present and seemed friendly enough towards me and I reciprocated in kind. There's no denying that a wall has dropped between us however and not one of my making.
At the onset of winter, I went on a trip though Belinara with Steel, Flynn deBallard, Wren Thendor, Acacea, and Iradril. For me, it was an unmitigated disaster as I fell not once, but thrice. *shakes his head at his own stupidity* I should have left after I fell the second time, but *sighs* my overdeveloped sense of manners and a complete unfamiliarity with the area (i.e.: how to have gotten home from there) kept me from doing so; Never again. I will say however that both Steel and Acacea did their level best to keep me alive after the first time I fell, but the foes were too numerous/great and my less-than-bulky constitution simply cannot take that level of punishment. Steel has offered me some guidance on how to bolster the latter with different equipment and training, and I may yet take him up on his offers.
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~ Jular, 1449
The initial half of his year has proceeded much like the past few years, with the first quarter spent largely crafting and practicing with my longbow at the range in Stormcrest. I have spent an obscene amount of arrows there, training in pursuit of imbuing this bow with the capacity to produce arrows on it own. Each time I let fly there, I am careful to try and put into practice all that I have been learning in my time with Jilseponie: from controlling my breathing, to how I draw, to how I hold myself steady whilst I aim, to how I loose. After expending 3000 arrows, shafted in mahogany (and each made with these two hands), I have come to learn that, absent the solid practice in both archery and crafting which my time has afforded, my efforts may have been in vain; I have found out that, were I to complete this process of imbuement, I would limit forever this magnificent bow to using those arrows alone. * sighs heavily * Live and learn.
I've taken to frequenting the card room in Leringard (using a deck made for me by Jaelle, long ago) more and more and can now clip Wyatt two times out of three, which has ameliorated the dearth of payment I receive from the guild. There, I ran into Steel there on his way to management tasks at the Arms Inn. We got to talking more about that disastrous (for me at least) trip through Belinara and he nipped back to the Inn to retrieve a pair of Militiaman Boots, which he lent me until I can find a pair of my own. The boots make me feel much more able to take the punishment of combat and are well appreciated by me as a result. Steel and I spoke of other equipment I should seek out and he's offered to keep me apprised of any useful items he locates.
In early spring, I joined a group in Krashin off to pursue a frost giant, named Jarl, who had been running amok, emerging from his caves to threaten the locals. Backed by many of his fellows and some large canines, this Jarl proved to be formidable though we were, in fact, able to vanquish him. I was able to use the trip to improve my application of Jil's teachings and even managed to drop one or two giants and more than a few of his hounds.
Barely two weeks later, Sala and Jako Stonehill invited me on a romp through the Silkwood caves after spiders. I had been there before several times (once with Drexia Faison, who encouraged me to get some special boots, which I have since made for myself) but this trip we went very deep and slayed literarily hundreds of the beasts. Again, I was able to use this excursion to continue to practice and, save for a few close quarter calls, relied on my longbow alone. Near the bottom, we were confronted with a huge spider of a type I had never seen before. The monstrous creature simply refused, for the longest while, to go down and though my aim seemed to be true, as was Jako's sword, there were moments went I feared we had bitten off more than we could chew. It fell eventually but not before Sala had been forced to keep pouring potions into Jako, seemingly non-stop. Harkening to Jil's advice, I exhibited unusually good sense by not falling back into old habits of jumping forward, sword in hand, but rather kept furiously feathering the beast until we brought it down. Hopefully once I manage to unlock the mystery of weaving the Al'Noth into my arrows, foes like that will begin to fall more promptly.
I chanced upon someone in Hempstead I had known long ago: Abigail Firesteed, the daughter of our guild founder, Barion. I had thought her long dead, but there she was, in the company of Berak, large as life. She seemed lost and did not remember me or others at all. We didn't speak much then though I expect I shall see her again about the guild hall, if not elsewhere.
A third trip took place this spring, with Argali, Sallaron, Sala, Jako, and others (including Abigail and fellow aficionados of the card room in Leringard, Vrebel and Tralek as I recall) to the swamps south of Vehl. There we ran into an individual who, other than playing a fair banjo, seemed to have the sole characteristics of having two teeth that met and the ability to hear thunder. Sallaron seemed unusually wary of this one, for reasons that pass my understanding. We proceeded to follow this person's direction to series of tunnels beneath his house in search of some legacy from his wizard father, which we had negotiated to split with him. We found no legacy, but did confront a series of warded gates, one of which required each of us to speak aloud some secret which we wished no one to know before we could pass. I hesitated but then declared that I harbored vengeance in my heart. While I didn't name names (and will not, even here) I am beginning to think that I might find some synergy in the objects of that vengeance (disparate though they are), based on a conversation I overheard in Hempstead a few years back.
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~ Augra, 1449
At the end of last month, I ran into Ni'Haer (a dark elf I had met once or twice before). Though he makes great efforts to appear shady, I think he's more or less benign so, when he asked me to make him a large quantity of wand staves (24), I agreed. I asked for a Stoneskin wand for myself (for emergencies) and a quantity of topaz dust (I've been historically thrifty with my own Stoneskin weavings, as I cannot get topaz on my own). He made mention of using the wands he would make to supply his 'army', though I discount that as another attempt on his part to appear sinister; my guess is he is only making them for practice and will likely pawn those he doesn't sell. I will say that he was more than generous in the 130 odd pinches of topaz dust he paid along with the wand I requested.
A week later, I met up with Phyress Sylphide and Ni'haer in Spellgard and Ni'Haer took us to a halfling village deep in the Spirit dunes that I had no knowledge even existed. After inspecting the town and taking note of the vendors present for future needs, we proceeded from there further into the desert through steep walled canyons to explore and battled deadly cobras of a type I had never seen, as well as ghosts of some sort and a few sand elementals. Try as I might (and I had called on divine aid to help my aim), I could hit the cobras very infrequently; Phyress, who is also one to rely on quickness and agility in her fighting, had a similar difficulty. I really need to get my hands on that ioun stone! However, we managed to leave with our skins still on, a good deal wiser for the experience.
On returning from the trip, I saw a notice by Phyress for a box of iron arrowheads and, as I has spent a good deal of arrows against the golems on our trip to rescue her mentor last summer, I met up with her and bought them at what turned out to be a very reasonable price. There's more points there than I'll likely be able to use, but *shrugs* I'm sure I can resell the surplus. In any event, during the course of that exchange we spoke some about battle styles and armour; she also suggested that there would likely be an upcoming expedition to try and recapture Sashka who, after being moved to Hlint (of all places), had escaped. I look forward to traveling with her and the others again.
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~ Seplar, 1449
I contacted Timulty Keel regarding an earlier discussion we had had for him to make me a Circlet of the Confidante, and then headed out to start collecting some of the materials needed for it. My experiences in trying to winkle information out of Sashka (and others) have made it clear that I could well use some help in 'convincing' those I find myself questioning that I can be trusted with the information which they have and that I seek. This circlet will go some distance to helping me achieve those ends.
Returning to Hampstead, I came upon Lance and Abigail in the guild hall in the company of Drexia Faison and a tall elven woman I had met a few times before, Darthirae. They invited me to join them on an excursion to Dregar for fire opals but I, sadly, had to decline as I needed sleep badly. I hope I get the opportunity to travel with them another time soon as they are good company, each of them. Darthirae herself is a bit ... formal in her speech but, as I know from previous conversations with her, she shares both my interest in operational and political information and my frustration at how many have compartmentalized pieces of it that they hoard like misers and with which they do little.
After they left, I took, from the guild inventory, a fine diamond (which, given that I haven't been paid in many years, I don't feel the least shy about taking) and a pair of essences (which I will, in fact, replace) and arranged to meet Timulty in Hlint. After I handed over the diamond and essences, we negotiated a decent price and he went off to make the circlet, returning directly with the finished product in hand; it's always a pleasure to do business with someone who is exactly who he purports to be. I look forward to trying this circlet out soon. Perhaps when I travel with Phyress and company, I'll get a chance to employ it in interviewing Sashka again. I'm thinking a few evenings fleecing Wyatt in Leringard should cover the cost. *grins*
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~ Seplar, 1449
Having clipped Wyatt for full cash cost of Tim's circlet (I was on fire and won 90 percent of the hands *smirks a little* ), I set out on my biennial gathering of corn , thence eggs, as rent on my rooms in Haven Castle. Four or five loops (I frankly lost count) on the circuit from just outside Prantz, to Wayfare, the Path to the Ire Mountains and Vehl, managed the requisite box of eggs. I took Seccea this time and her speed made the burden of the trips much lighter. Regarding chickens however, Folian forgive me but, of all His creatures, they are some of my least favorite: demanding, filthy, and loud.
Each loop on my circuit, as I passed Stormcrest, I took a few hours to practice my shooting at the archery range there. I'm finding that, as my skills improve, I can afford more effort in trying to tap into the Al'Noth as I loose each arrow. Without having to consciously pay as much attention to the actual shot itself now, I can feel myself getting closer and closer to grasping how it's done, though it still eludes me.
I had an interesting discussion with my guild brother, Lance Stargazer, between loops at one point; I had stopped in at the shop to show him the circlet which the diamond had, in part, bought. In explaining my desire for the help that the circlet will bring, I allowed as how, while I'm not above using force to extract information should charm or reason be ill advised, I'd much prefer to use a believable threat of force to achieve the same end. As I told him: "Why have things get messy if you don't need to?". What was surprising to me was that Lance seemed to understand this; he gets more complex with each passing year. *smiles as he writes* In some ways, part of me is content with how my application to the Angel's ended up (though the way it was manipulated still galls me greatly), as I would have hated to see the look of disappointment in Lance's eyes had I left the Orc Bashers. The other members not so much but Lance has been a true friend through thick and thin, these many years. At such time as I write a will, it will either be Lance or Hedessa whom I ask to serve as its executor.
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~ Oclar, 1449
I ran into Uwe Yewheart last week in Wayfare, after not having seen her in some time. She mentioned that she's looking to upgrade her armour and I told her that the guild could likely fill her needs. But, like so many potential customers who have approached me over the years, she is unsure of precisely what she a) wants, b) can afford, and c) can actually wear. I did some research among the inventory in stock but could find nothing that met her general expectations.
I've resolved to try and make a go of my membership in the Orc Bashers, but there exists this mindset within the guild of "tell me what type of armour (or whatever) is wanted and we'll make it", which falls short of helping customers decide to part with their hard-earned trues in my view. Why can they not see that this may be the main reason that much of our potential business ends up seeking satisfaction elsewhere? Would there to exist a comprehensive list of all that can be made, not just one of what we generally make or have made, I'm convinced that our business would be able to be grown again and we could get back to better times as we had experienced when Barion was alive. But to date, other than Lance and Abigail, few other members have ever even recognized me as part of the guild, making the chances of my voice being heard extremely small. Perhaps I'll recommend a guild meeting and see where that leads. Maybe then I'll also finally hear what happened with the offers of membership that I thought had been extended to Keppli and Maran.
The Tower Academy in Hempstead is finally holding its grand opening at the beginning of next month (along with an inaugural masquerade ball) but, after years of waiting for things to come together, I likely wont be attending these events. There is a provinciality to those influential in the world that I find discouraging; * sighs as he re-reads the preceding paragraph * people seemingly more focused on their 'turf' than the prompt advancement of some project or attainment of some goal. In the many years which have passed since I first joined with Timulty, Storold, and a few others during the initial planning stages of the Tower, the project has languished to the point that now, when it's finally opening, my focus must be on my archery for some years to come. Who knows, a year or so down the road, I may take a look at it again.
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~ Novlar, 1449
Abigail has posted a notice in the guild hall for a guild picnic sometime next year. With any luck, the attendance will be robust enough for me to consider bringing up some issues for the guild to address, to our general betterment. We shall see. I've been asked to make a set of keys for Maran; evidently he has been brought into the guild, finally. No word still about Keppli but, with Abigail's return that may now be a moot point anyway. I still think better communications are needed here.
Beli Stonewell has also proposed that the guild band together to make a very large quantity of bolts (100,000) and perhaps crossbows for the defense of Mistone. I believe I can contribute well to this effort and possibly help steer its direction. There seems to be some confusion regarding bolt heads and wood on which I have views that I think I can share. The archer in me is disappointed that this effort will be for crossbowmen but I well understand the value of crossbows in the hands of the untrained; time is of the essence in this and the continent can simply not afford to wait years for true archers to be grown. I will see if there is some way I can also help with the training of these young crossbowmen , once these supplies are delivered; some of the principles of archery do, in fact, cross over.
I continue to practice my own archery when and as I can. Each time I try to touch the Al'Noth at the moment of release, I fell myself closer to grasping it. I still contend that it's the facility with which I can now exercise the mechanics of the shot itself that permits this. I am still hopeful and should be meeting again with Jilseponie soon.
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~ Decilar, 1449
I used some of the iron points I bought from Phyress this summer to replace a few hundred arrows for use against golems. Good tinkering on her part, as these points look like they'll hold a proper edge.
I also was asked by Lance to knock out a couple of oak short bows to replenish the shop inventory; with new people coming up all the time, no doubt Warrant Officer Kit in Haven will be asking for more of these. It was good to have the feel of freshly turned oak in my hands again, working the sandpaper to smooth them to near perfection. It's nice when all those years of practice pay off and I'm able to finish a task like this effortlessly and to actually enjoy the working of the wood. A quick trip with Seccea up to the Whitehorn yielded enough oak to replace what I used and more to the guild hall.
I did notice when I put the finished bows in the shop chests that someone had made 17 oak long bows. * rolls his eyes * I can well understand the need for practice, but really, perhaps some of those would have been better pawned to save space. Once again, communications seems to be a sticking point among the guild membership.
While helping Lance a bit with inventory in the shop, I noticed that we are absent third tier enchantments for weapons. I'll see if I can go to the Wolfswood soon after some coal to aid in that effort, so Maran, who evidently has been brought in as a member, can have something to work with.
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~ Decilar, 1449
I took my first trip with Bessie this year, answering a call from the guild for clay; he's a patient ox, which is saying something. * smiles to himself * Between the two of us, we managed to haul back a load and a half to the guild hall, filling one crate and making a great deal of ring molds for Maran to work with. I still plan to go into the cave in the Wolfswood after coal to make crystal rods for Maran, but am considering waiting until I have mastered the art of tapping into the Al'Noth as I shoot before I attempt it again, on my own.
I took some time on that journey to continue training with my longbow, this time by way of fishing. I have never fished with a pole and every time I conscientiously apply the lessons I've learned from Jilseponie, I am well rewarded with success. It was Jil that got me to understand better the concepts of surface refraction and how fish can see out, much as I can see into the water. As a result, for years now, I have taken to approaching the bank under either stealth or the shroud of invisibility and have noticed that I can catch them unawares each time I do so. That, coupled with the steadier hand I now possess as a result of Jil's guidance, yields me a solid catch almost every time! Between my fishing, hunting, and cooking, I'm proud to say that I haven't eaten a store bought meal in well over a decade. A small point to some but, for me, a point of great satisfaction. I still aspire to be able to (at least) make everything I regularly use or wear.
I've received word from Phyress that an expedition to go after Sashka is indeed planned for next month and have agreed to make every effort to join her, Fleur, and perhaps others in that endeavor. Sashka is a real viper in my view and the sooner she's recaptured or killed, the better off for everyone. I have no idea if she still has designs to 'activate' that golem army of hers but we shall see; hopefully we can interdict her before she gets the chance.
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~ Janra, 1450
I went fishing up by the Lake of Glass early in the year. I spent some time between catches sitting and reflecting over the past year: Razerium, the Angel's, Jaelle, the lot. Having passed yet another New Years without any pause, I think I shall set a new course for myself, starting with taking time at the advent of Spring to travel to the Temple in the Forest of Fog and pray for balance in my life. I'm finding that I'm happiest when on my own in the forest and perhaps am discovering that I'm just not cut out for the company of others, save when engaged in some task or project. It's sad, but there it is; perhaps prayer will shed some light on this.
The expedition to chase down Sashka seems to have been delayed a month or so; I only hope the trail hasn't gone completely cold by the time we convene in Mariner's Hold.
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~ Febra, 1450
I made yet another run for the guild to dig clay up by Lake Allun. After clearing all the deposits (and having a chat with the resident skunk there), I was jumped by a kobold while loading up Bessie's pack behind the woods. Evidently he had been sent ahead as a scout as, when I poked my head around the corner after dispatching him, I saw the entire clan advancing well out of their camp there. A quick fireball and a few well placed arrows put an end to any threat and, when I turned to go, I found more clay deposits waiting to be gleaned. We returned to Hempstead laden with what amounted to more than two ox-loads!
At the guild hall, I ran into Abigail Firesteed again. Whether she actually remembers me or not, she does see me now, at least, as a fellow archer. We spoke at some length about the qualities of the various types of arrowheads and which ones would be suitable for this arming of Mistone project that the guild has undertaken. She pointed out that she thought platinum points would be of some value against drachs; I wonder if it would be mithril points that would be required, drachs being derived from dragons.
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~ Mar, 1450
I met with Jilseponie again at the end of last month. We spoke for most of the day, with me asking question after question. As usual, she was patient, informative, and not shy of saying she didn't know on the rare occasions when that was the case. We spoke of the proper arrowheads for use against drachs in the impending invasion, though the mithril will be almost impossible to come by. She recommended both the spells 'Ghostly Visage' and 'Displacement' as sound ways to keep me safer. She suggested that while the spell 'True Strike' can, in fact, be a benefit to archers, I would be better served by using the Seeker arrow that I should be able to invoke someday instead. She recommended that I acquire a second yew wood longbow, this time with compound cams as well as the hardware to increase it's striking force; I shall look into that in the very near future. I will likely also follow her example and stock up on the best arrows I can make, enchanting them with elemental rods.
She left me with the following thought regarding my attempts to weave the Al'Noth into my archery: Patience and perseverance will win out and, once it does, it will be like a floodgate opening. Good advice and I'm encouraged.
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~ Mai, 1450
It has finally happened! On a trip to Dregar, near Fort Laer, I was with my friend Alassir Vil'Drazzic, hunting mychonids. As I drew back my bow, I cleared my mind and tried once again to tap into the Al'Noth. As I let fly, a sudden tingle came over me and I saw my arrow strike with new force! It was the proudest moment I've experienced in an awfully long time. Jilseponie was right: patience and perseverance have indeed won out and I feel so very empowered and oddly humbled at the same time. I hope she is equally correct in her prediction that the floodgates will indeed now open for me; I am so very tired of having to walk carefully as I struggled to learn this new art.
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~ Junar, 1450
Spring has come and gone and I have yet to make the time for my pilgrimage to the Temple in the Forest of Fog. I still intend to do so, but I have, to date, allowed my studies to take precedence, for reasons I hope that Folian will understand. I still intend to make the trip and will seek forgiveness there as I seek answers to the direction my life should now be taking, in prayer.
At the start of this month, I had met Jaelle by chance in the crafting hall in Hempstead, where she told me that she had sold her house in Haft Lake, in favor of one in Leringard (which we had visited together a few times * smiles fondly, recalling the occasions there *). She intimated that it was still on the market, so I found myself going to Prantz to see if it indeed was. The price asked for it was well beyond my means but there was also a more reasonably priced burm home for sale, also in Haft Lake. With much of my modest wealth tied up in an investment with Arkolio Salvorre, I was short of ready funds for even that. On a whim, I sought out Jaelle again at her Leringard home to ask if she might front me some cash, until I could liquidate part of my investment with Arkolio. She not only agreed to help, but we had our first real talk together since she and I parted ways. She seems alive with happiness and has found a new love, who I would guess is at least part of the catalyst for her renewed vibrant spirit; in the decades that I have known her, I've never seen her so bright. I was so very happy for her and told her as much; I only hope she knows that I was in heartfelt earnest. If ever there was someone who needed (and deserved) to be loved, truly loved, it is Jaelle. As doomed as she and I were as lovers (and we both knew it from the start), I can't help still feeling deep and lasting friendship for this woman, the only one (save perhaps Delyth) that ever tried to see me for who I really am.
After a trip back to the card room in Leringard to acquire the additional several thousand true required above the list price (for 'insurance' of all things), I returned to Prantz and bought the burm house outright. I am now the proud owner of my own home, though one much larger than I'd wanted (and in a location that reeks of dark childhood memories from the coming of Rael * spits to the side as he usually does whenever that name crosses his lips or flows out of his quill *). I am thinking of trying to trade down a bit and recover some of my investment there but, failing that, I will think seriously about remodeling it more to my liking; I might even seek Jaelle's guidance in that, seeing the stunning job she has done with her own home in Leringard.