-
**The private entries of Daniella Abigail Stormhaven- A journal**
-
We went into the cave where the elementals are down below the wolfswood rangers'... headquarters? I passed along the advice given to me by Balazar. Don't run... just back up. All went well the first two that we fought. When I noticed the others getting badly injured I yelled for them to back up and heal themselves... they did, and we all were fine. With Toran's sheild protecting me the blows of the elemental did not harm me. But then we fought again. I hollered for Aeronn to back up and he did not, and he was killed. I was angry. If he had listened, perhaps he would not have fallen... but then... did I chose poorly in thinking that we could have survived that battle. When we tried to return Aeronn to his grave, there were more elementals there, two and then three at a time... as if they had called for reinforcements and new that we had been weakened. Balazar showed up after we had all fallen, and almost all recovered. He was able to help defeat the elementals, but he also came bearing my lesson for the day. Toran must have sent him to teach me once again. A leader is responsible for those she leads. She must know those she is with, their strengths and weaknesses, and what they can or cannot face. Aeronn tried to argue that it was his fault for not listening when I told him to back up. That it is not a leader's fault when her subordinates refuse to listen to commands. Tristan tried to say that it was his fault because he chose for us to get on the boat that led us to Alindor... But as Balazar reminded me, if I am to lead... if that is what Toran has in store for me, I know I bear the responsibility. I bear it willingly. It was a lesson in leadership, and a lesson in humility. I only hope that the others were able to learn from the experience as well, and that it did not cost any of us too much to do so.
-
Lance and I went to the Vehl Crypts for skeleton knuckles. There was a one-eared goblin outside the crypts who ran up to Lance and started jumping around saying "gimme gimme!" and asking for magic papers. My first instinct was to grab my sword... it looked so much like those goblins up in the caves near Hlint. But Lance always wants to give everyone and everything a chance. He asked the goblin... I guess it's name was Feefty... if he needed help. Of course, the goblin said yes. Then Lance said that we were now bound to help this creature. I'm still not sure he didn't lead the creature into saying that. I told Lance that if the goblin took out that rusty dagger he had with him and stabbed either one of us, I would never let him live it down. Lance seemed amused by that, but I was serious. Lance apparently met a goblin once before that he believes was not evil. I still have not been convinced of that. I suppose that it could be possible, but I'm uncertain. And if we as Toran's faithful are not to turn away those who ask for help, where do we draw the line? The goblin found his magic papers. I told him rather sternly that I better not see the goblins near Hlint using those scrolls on anyone. He fought the undead alongside us, so I suppose he did some good and earned the scrolls... but goblins can be crafty, and sneaky.
-
I spent some time with Tristan in the caves in the silkwood forest mining for copper. He needed someone to talk to I guess. With Quantum being captured, and with Anne gone to find him, I suppose we have something in common with missing mentors. He said that he is afraid that Quantum will not be the same if and when he returns. That he is afraid that those that took Quantum, the followers of Corath, are gaining power by killing Toranites. I told him that I have faith that Toran is stronger than Corath, and we will prevail. I believe that his faith is being tested due to this trial, and I hope that he is able to keep going and make it through even stronger before. I understand when a loved one is on the line though. I still have no word of Anne except from that awful Laura and her blackmail attempts.
I did have to laugh though... All of Tristan's problems could be solved with faith in Toran and a belief that something good is possible from all of this.
-
How many souls of brave men must be ripped apart to pay for the deeds of evil men?
-
We have found more bodies, more death, more vampires... all since Quantum was first taken. Yet in spite of our efforts, I'm not certain that we are any closer to finding Quantum. I am at a loss, yet I still do not wish to give up on him... but I wonder how much of this is the design of those who have him? That perhaps through pulling us along inch by inch, they do in fact gain power as another one of the faithful fall to the cause? And if that is the case, do we sacrifice one to save many?
-
Toran, I beg your forgiveness... I had to make a decision. I believe that inaction is a crime unto itself. If I had knowingly stood by and let those children die, it might as well have been my own sword that cut their throats. Those that stand by and know of crimes being committed, crimes against people, against children, against goodness... that is simply enabling evil. This... person... will be dealt with. The ultimate evil from this night will be dealt with. But the decision was made to spare innocents.
-
Another death, and in theory, more spared, and yet the evil is still out there to be dealt with.
-
The Shining Hand, Quantum Windward has returned, more or less, but is no longer the Shining Hand. Guantlet Theodosia Varamost has taken over as acting Hand of the Shining Hands. An elected position, it is right that he take over. Quantum's mind seems to have been shattered by torture. I regret that we were unable to find him before he had to endure so much, but I hope and pray that in time, he will be able to recover. Being as old as he is now, I'm not sure, but I have faith that Toran has not lost his love for him.
Anne was not there though. I know she went to Arnax, so I should not have hoped that we would have found her as well, but now I know that I must find her, even if no one else deems her worthy of saving. She needs to be found if possible. I fear for her life now more than ever.
-
I recieved word from Beacon Dubois that they have located Anne. They believe her to be responsible for the death of Beacon Wainright and they have issued an order that she be put down. If it is true, that she really has turned her heart away from Toran, then I will have to support their decision, but I hope beyond all hope that there is a reasonable explaination, even in the terrible crime of being involved with the death of one of our own. I know that if Anne was attempting to be undercover and seen as a Corathite, the things they must have made her do...
I just hope that she is still strong enough in faith that she is only acting out of the greater good. That spending that much time amongst our enemies has not turned her heart against the Great Leader.
I am bringing a small group of trusted friends and brothers in arms with me to confront her, and my attempt, as I have made clear is to bring her back to us. Dubois stated that given my relationship with Anne, they want for me to gain her trust and confidence before they strike. I will not lie to her though. I want her back. There has to be something more to what is going on than meets the eye, and as Truth, Honor, and Loyalty are my highest calling, I will seek out the truth. I honor Anne as my mentor and someone that I have long respected and trusted. My loyalty is first and foremost to Toran and then to his following, but Anne is a special case. Something was not right when she left, and I intend to find out what went wrong. And then, if possible... I hope to bring her back with us.
If however it turns out that she has turned her heart away from us, as much as I would hate to admit that as a possibility, I must prepare myself for the possibility. In that case, I will see that she is treated fairly, and justly... more than that I wish not to state in writing or aloud at this time.
I pray that Toran guides her heart, and that He is still with her always, and that her faith has never and will never waiver.
-
My father... where do I even begin? At least he is safe.
Father found out that I was to go on the mission to find Anne, so rather than speak to me about it, or ask to come with me, he decided to go off on his own. When Beacon Dubois came to me in person to tell me the news, I was sure he was going to tell me my father was dead. I'm just so thankful that we found him in time.
Lance and I set off for Fort Thunder almost immediately after we heard the news. Now our mission was twofold, to find Anne, and to find my father. We managed to find Fort Thunder thanks to a rather expensive guide, but hopefully he will keep his word and keep his mouth shut of our identities. Almost as soon as we got there I noticed two men in black hooded robes and I heard another man talking. I told Lance to back up and we hid beside a building. I tried to take off my armor quietly, but unfortunately metal just really isn't quiet in the least. Luckily I don't think they realized anything. But that voice... I was pretty sure I knew that voice. Even as long as it's been since I had seen him... he was a good friend to me.
I managed to call him over, and sure enough, it was Razeriem. He told me to leave, but... I never thought I would say this, but I was thankful I'd seen so many Xeenites and Ilsarians around lately and was able to emulate a little of their behavior. Not to mention, I remember the way Razeriem used to act all the time. I made it sound like I wanted to take him to an inn and "get to know him better". We went over towards the inn and talked for a short time, and Lance kept watch. Dubois had said that my father had been seen speaking to an elven gentleman. Now I know who it was. Razeriem told me that he had taken him in personally as per my father's wishes. I asked him if they knew who my father was, but he said he wasn't sure. I asked him if he'd seen Anne and he said he couldn't help me with that. I can't believe he lied to me... I don't know if he ever lied to me before. He knew where Anne was.
I decided that the only way to get my father back was to have Razeriem take me in, as a new recruit, or whatever it was he was doing. He didn't want me to, he wanted to go home, but I didn't go all that way just to give up because it was dangerous. I know that Toran was with me. He is more than just the symbols and colors I wear. Lance agreed with Razeriem that we should leave, that it was safer. Perhaps it was safer, but it was not for my own good that I was there in the first place. I told Lance to go home to his family. He has a son, a family that needs him there. My father and Anne are my family. I wasn't leaving without knowing at least what happened to them. Lance thought I was being foolish and so did Razeriem.
Truth, Honor, Loyalty...how would I find the truth if I didn't try? My loyalty to my family extends beyond simple family bonds, they also are servants of my god. If I did not attempt to find them. If I went home, afraid to risk my life and face what could happen to me, it would be certain death for them, would it not? There is no honor in that.
The robed me came back to find Razeriem and Lance and I hid while he spoke to them. It seemed Razeriem was doing some sort of recruiting job for a priestess. And if he didn't bring people back with him this time, he'd be in a lot of trouble.
I finally convinced Razeriem to let me go with him, but Lance wouldn't leave me there, so we both ended up going. I was worried about Lance more than anything. I was worried for what would happen to his son should anything happen to him.
They took us to a large place and locked us in, us and the poor other girl that Razeriem had been speaking with when we first got to town. They took her away to show her her quarters. She seemed excited. A little while later they came back for me. They brought me into a room, and grabbed my arm, telling me it would be better if I didn't try to resist. The guard locked me in a cell, and the other young girl just started screaming and crying. He said we were both to be sacrificed to the Black Sun. I tried my best to calm the other girl down. Everytime she screamed, the more she cried, it only seemed to make them more satisified. They didnt' deserve that sort of satisfaction. I spoke to her softly and told her not cry, not to scream. She said she didn't want to die. I was stuck. They brought Lance in and put him in another cell past me where I couldn't see him. If I tried to help the poor girl escape, we would all be killed. I knew then that there was nothing I could do to save this young woman's life. The only thing I could do then I knew would be to offer her the courage to die gracefully... as hard as I know that was for her.
I tried to get the guard to stop tormenting her, and I asked him what the sacrifice would do. He instead kept talking about what they were going to do to the young woman. But I did get one piece of information. He said that her blood would flow to sate Corath. Then he corrected himself and said to sate the Black Sun. But I have a feeling, Corath was the truthful answer there. I only hope that that young woman's blood only was what was fed to Corath and that her soul can be free.
The priestess came in while I was trying to calm the young woman. She spoke, and I would know that voice anywhere. It was Anne. So Laura had spoken truth, she was acting as a priestess of Corath. I did not want to do anything that would give any of us away, so I turned to look to make sure it was her, but immediately I dropped my head. I closed my eyes and tried to determine what was in her heart. I could sense evil there. But there was also good. She could still be brought back.
After they took the woman away, screaming, a man started to yell "Me next!" and once again, I knew that voice immediately. I told him to stop yelling, and then he also knew it was me. "Daniella? The hells you doing here!" my father said. The guard seemed to think it was amusing when he asked if my father knew me. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't give away anything, but Anne knew who all of us were. If she really was still under cover, it could risk her life as well to give that away.
She came back in after the guard left. She looked at me angrily and told me that she had told me never to come there. I told her, a bit sarcastically, that I had always wanted to be like her. She then went over to the other cell and I heard her tell my father and Lance that they should've known better. She told my father to stop trying to die before his time. Then she came back over to me and whispered to me a moment. She told me I never should have come. I had to come. I wanted to tell her, but she put a key in my hand and told me to get us all out and never come back. I wanted to warn her. That if she wasn't killed by the Corathites here, that Huangjin had ordered her death. But she walked away. I yelled for her to wait, but she didn't even turn around.
After I knew that they were gone, I used the key on the lock and went to get Lance and Father out as well. Dad tried to stay behind. I had to convince him that he may be willing to die today, but the rest of us weren't. They wouldn't let me stay behind either though, so we all left. The key seemed to be a master key.
I sent Lance back to Huangjin with my father. I hope my mother locks him up for what he did. I asked Lance to make the report and stayed in Fort Thunder. I'm hoping to hear from Razeriem or Anne. She would know me well enough that I won't just go home right away.
I hope Razeriem is alright as well. I don't feel evil from him. But I do think he is afraid.
-
Toran, please guide my heart and help me to gain the resolve I need to complete my next task whatever it may be. The advice from Master Michaelis may not have been what I was hoping for, but as in most things, what we want to hear is not what we need to hear. I need to know if she truly has turned her heart from You. If she has become the enemy, no matter how my feelings, our history... all that she has done for me and taught me... I know what my course of action must be. But if she can still be saved. However lost that hope might be, am I not bound to try? There is more that she has not said to me. And as much as I do not wish to try, I am wondering if I need to seek out the so-called-ex-vampire Laura. Please protect me, and guide my thoughts to the right path. Truth is what I seek more than anything right now. The truth to save a life with potential for good, or end the life of a trusted friend and teacher because of a fatal error on her own part.
I trust in you, Great Leader... I know you will light my way.
-
It's clear what my answer has to be. I can't accept her terms. Anne made her choice. I won't lie to the temple for Laura to save her. She hasn't changed. She's still just as evil as she ever was, and she is using manipulation as her means to get what she wants. As much as it hurts... it's the right thing.
-
The Auscultare, Loran Kor, turns to the guards and dismisses them from the room, once they have left, he turns to look at Daniella. "I believe you are the one I have sought Lady Daniella. This morning you have shown right judgment, perception, care, concern, righteousness and wisdom... as well as tempered that with humility. The Faith needs you."
Daniella looks at him questioningly, but does not interrupt him.
"What do you know of the Great Leader?" He pauses a moment and smiles. "Let me rephrase that. What do you know of how he came to be?"
"I admit, sir, I do not know much about how He came to be. I know only that he was once mortal, a human man," Daniella replies.
"Then I'm going to tell you a story.
When Toran was merely mortal he walked upon this earth. Throughout his life he demonstrated the ideals that we follow and believe in today in our Faith. He lived these personally and evinced them to those around him. So dedicated to these morals was he that his devotion came to the notice of the Great Golden Dragon Rofirein."
He nods as he sees the look on Daniella's face. "Yes... Rofirein... the one who has always been.
Rofirein followed the life of Toran and was so deeply moved by his devotion to his principles that upon his death, Rofirein breathed life back into him... but not the life of mortality, the life of immortality. By Rofirein's Claw Toran was raised into the realms of the Gods to stand as one Himself."
He pauses in his story. "Hence you can see my concerns over the changes in our faith in the last century."
"Yes, sir." Daniella nods.
The Auscultare's eyes are greatly troubled as he brings from his robes a scroll and unrolls it. "You know of the Quartos Toranis of course? The most sacred of scrolls in our faith."
"Yes sir" She nods in agreement.
"This is a recitation I had made from a section of it unknown to any bar the current Auscultare. Anne has been tried, Daniella. Toran has found her heart black and cold. She seeks now to instill chaos in our ranks. She has set her fate. She is an enemy of Toran and as such... your enemy. The greatest gift you can give her is to end her life and end her suffering."
Daniella's face looks anguished, reflecting her inner pain over a long needed decision, but she nods with acceptance. "Thank you sir... that was what I needed to hear."
"This..." the Auscultare says as he holds the scroll, "has never been revealed to any other outside this office since Toran walked upon this earth." He fixes Daniella with a stern look to impress upon her the importance of his words.
Daniella regards the scroll, then looks back at the Auscultare and nods once, with grave acceptance. "I understand, sir."
"I ask you in Toran's name and for the good of all His people to not mention any of what I am to tell you now to anyone besides myself."
Daniella replies, "You have my word, in the name of the Great Leader, Toran, who has my vow of service."
Loran Kor nods. "I am going to speak frankly to you Daniella. I feel I can trust you in your belief and adherance to the faith of Toran. Your hears of driving out corruption, in bringing together members of the Faith and to the true Beliefs of the Great leader are a credit to you." He appears deeply, deeply troubled as he continues. "I am going to ask you to undertake a mission, a mission so vital it affects the core of the church and in many ways will decide if this faith continues to exist."
Daniella swallows, her expressions troubled at the gravity of the Auscultare's words.
Loran Kor raises the scroll and reads.
"And at the time of Toran's raising, when he took his place amongst the immortals that watched and shared power over the world of Layonara, Rofirein did make the final ruling.
That at such a time there will be an accounting of the faith. Such an accounting that Toran shall choose one of his own to stand forth to represent the Faith in all its original principles from which they will be judged.
Judgment shall be in the eyes of the Great Golden One himself, Rofirein. Should that Chosen fail to evince the principles that Toran was raised to represent then Toran shall therefore be Judged, and in all likelihood the Dragon shall lay Toran to rest forevermore."
Daniella realizes suddenly that she is holding her breath, and lets it out slowly, her face now pale.
The Auscultare swallows hard, his hands shaking as he rerolls the scroll. "The time has come, Daniella. Rofirein has told Toran it is the time of the Choosing.
Toran...has chosen you.
You are to decide if our Faith continues... or ends... forever.
Daniella falls to her knees as if a staggering weight has been placed on her shoulders. She takes in ragged breaths as she stares utterly speechless at the space before her, her eyes unfocused as she tries to grasp the task that has been given her.
"My child," the Auscultare says compassionately as tears come to his eyes, "if I could take some of this burden for you I would... gladly... but alas it cannot be so.
You are chosen Daniella... to be the Light of Toran.
To show Rofirein that we still hold dear to our Great Leader's principles. From this moment on you are being watched and judged. Toran and we do not know the manner of the judgments that Rofirein will choose to lay before you. It will be up to you to recognize them when they occur and deal with them as Toran would expect."
He rests a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Whatever you need... is at your disposal..."
Daniella's voice cracks slightly but looks slightly relieved at his comfort. "As Toran is my Light and Guide... I am His servant above all else."
"You can never speak of the judgement to any besides me... but you can impress upon them the burden which has been placed upon you and that its very completion has a resounding effect on the foundations of our faith," he warns her gently. "When you act and speak... you act and speak through the power of the office of the Auscultare.
Look for the signs. When you see them, then you know the challenge is set. Seeking, identifying, and then completing the challenges is your duty."
Daniella nods, her voice still wavering as she speaks, "I understand sir."
The Auscultare speaks compassionately to her. "My dear Child... would that I could come with you, but such is the rules by which the Great Golden one has set."
Daniella looks up at the older man. "I am to act alone... but Toran remains with me?"
"Your friends and allies can aid you... but the decisions must be yours. You are the one being tested, but you will need their aid. Most definitely you will need their aid. Their support will carry you in these most difficult of times. And know that Toran is with you... but he cannot show you the way. That, you must decide." He steps back a bit. "I believe in you. I have to. Anything less I cannot even fathom.
Lady Daniella Stormhaven, Blessed and Chosen of Toran... do you accept this most important mission?"
Daniella takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, she closes her eyes and lets a tear drip down her cheek in a silent pathway. "I accept this task."
The Auscultare nods and sighs deeply. "Then go now... with my blessing."
As the power of Toran surrounds and envelops them both with the blessing from the Auscultare, Daniella stands quietly, and Loran Kor steps forward again to embrace her. "Be strong my daughter."
Daniella returns the embrace. "May Toran be with me in the time to come... I cannot fail."
"No... you cannot."
With that, Daniella nods and turns towards the door to regain her companions where they wait in the Atrium.
-
It was similar and yet so different, being in Fiorez City. The views were the same from the ramparts on the reconstructed fort walls were the same out into the mountains, except now the armies that gathered there were simply doing so for training instead of sieging. In her mind's eye, Daniella could still overlay the memories of the Drach armies and monsters throwing everything they had at her and her forces as men and women struggled to hold them off, dying by sword and tooth and claw. She could still feel the vibrations of her own throat as she called out orders over the deafening sounds of battle, the clang of weapons as blows were deflected by sword or shield of armor, the sickening sounds of blade meeting and penetrating flesh, the smell of blood and filth, and the groans and cries of the injured and dying. The ghosts of the dead still haunted her mind. They were with her here now as she looked over the city from the heights. Did they support her, or did they too think she was a traitor to what she had once fought to defend, and lost?
And yet, there was new life starting here. Children laughed and played in the streets, and men and women worked daily to ensure their future in this new place. The walls had been rebuilt with the hard toil of the soldiers and refugees who had settled here. Here and there evidence of the old fort and the destruction through war and fire were still visible, but on the whole, the past was being erased.
Armored footsteps approached and she could feel a presence beside her as Jaedon Siphe placed his hands out along the edge of the wall. They stood side by side for some time, simply surveying the city below in silence. So many wondered at the alliance between the former Cult General Jaedon Siphe and the Toranite Commander Daniella Stormhaven, and how they could have moved past the atrocities of the past to be standing side by side in a way that many people now questioned was perhaps more than a diplomatic alliance. Sometimes Daniella herself wondered how Toran had led her to this point, but the faces of the people down in the city were not the faces of an enemy. They were simply people who were struggling. He'd asked her if it was guilt that brought her back. Guilt over not being strong enough to withstand the forces against her, guilt at so many lives lost under her command. Yes, there was definitely guilt. But there was more. She knew by looking at the children running in the streets, safe under the strict watch of the Siphe Garra that patrolled, that she had come here because she needed to see something good happen from the ruins and ashes of what had been lost. Siphe was a proud man, but she knew that he needed help. He knew it, too, even if he was loathe to admit it.
One of the children stopped and looked up to the wall, noticing the two of them. The little girl smiled and waved excitedly and then ran off again, chasing the other children. Daniella couldn't help but smile. "I think that wave was for you, my lord," Daniella offered.
"No, milady, I'm quite certain that was for you. They are starting to get used to your presence here. It will not be the same when you leave again next week," Siphe responded quietly, still looking out over his city.
She had been here in the city for three months now, the politics had been dealt with at first, but one of her conditions for the lengthened stay was that while she was there she would be given no additional special treatment. Find dining and celebrations taxed their supplies too much and the citizens needed those rations more than she did just so that Lord Siphe could impress her. They would still pull out the extra flair for the diplomats when they did arrive, but Daniella knew well enough how things really were in the Siphe Principality, and Lord Siphe knew that he didn't have to hide it from her anymore or try to pretend that they were better off than they were. Times were hard.
Once the pretenses were dissolved, things fell into a more comfortable routine between her and the Sovereign Lord. They spent much of their time together, helping each other with various tasks around the city be it overseeing the building of the new Shrine, to fortifying the walls and defenses, to working with the Garra as they trained and patrolled, to visiting and inspecting the new sparse crops being grown, to sometimes just sitting and telling stories to the children and citizens as they paused for a midday meal.
And somehow, in the midst of all of the toil, Daniella realized she was happy here. She cared deeply about the people here, even those who still did not trust or care for her. And she was starting to realize how much she cared for their Sovereign Lord as well. What had started off as a respect of an opponent had grown into a deeper admiration and devotion. They were both working for the same goal. But it was more than that. It was hard to forget those that they had both lost in their battles, but they had worked on opposite sides to liberate each other, and in spite of the appearances and combat that they had needed to continue, they had worked within the confines of their battle agreement to end the fighting as swiftly and as honorably as possible. More lives had still been lost, but she had to tell herself that more still would have been lost had they not done as they did. Sacrifices made to serve the greater good, or at least she hoped.
She wasn't exactly sure when her respect for him had started to grow into attraction, but the subtle war that they fought with each other, catching each other off guard, disarming each other with words and actions, and each making advances in turn had certainly grown into more than just a diplomatic union. Even in their sparring sessions where they truly sought to disarm and defeat each other in combat, it was more of a dance, and she found there was something truly enticing about each of his actions, master swordsman that he was. There was a look in his eyes as well. The feeling was mutual. When they weren't flaring up each other's tempers, of course, but even that seemed to amuse each other in the end, and both of them found themselves smiling more than they had before.
Nijau, Lord Siphe's advisor of the First Rank, was increasingly tense the closer she got to his Lord. She was a threat in his eyes. She brought out a softer side of Jaedon Siphe that his men had never seen before. He cared for her. He protected her, even if he knew quite well that she could best any one of his soldiers. Nijau saw her as a distraction, a weakness.
Daniella had sent Jillian Stuart home six weeks ago so that she would not have to remain so far from her family for too long. Her elite soldiers remained, and Jillian had been hesitant to leave at first, but in spite of the mixed feelings of some of the Garra, this was likely the safest place for Daniella to be in her mind save for perhaps the Citadel of Toran. But there was work to be done, and that meant that regardless of how happy her work here made her, she would have to leave again.
"You know I'll return soon," she offered quietly without looking at him.
"Of course I know. I simply stated that it won't be the same."
"Let's not worry about the absence then. We have plenty to keep us occupied until my departure, and I'm sure that you'll have more than plenty to do while I'm gone. You will hardly even notice that I'm not here." She smiled, looking up at him finally, the scars and lines of war evident on his face. He kept his hair cut short and close to the scalp, but it did not do enough to hide the gray that had grown even more from the stress of building a city than the stress of war ever did.
He moved his hand to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear, catching it as the wind blew it across her face. "I'll notice." His hand returned to his side and his stern expression returned. "But you're right. There will be plenty to do. I'm sending out another scouting mission in the next two weeks as we discussed, and winter will be setting in soon. We will need those supplies. There simply isn't enough to hunt. If you can find a trade for livestock, we might be able to make it work. Just don't be gone too long."
"I'll do my best."
"You always do."
Kaytar of the Third Rank, the large hulking brute that he was, stepped forward and cleared his throat. "Forgive me, my lord, my lady, but the horses are waiting for you below when you are ready."
Daniella looked back over the city once more before turning to face the officer. Yes, so much was different these days. But she had hope for where things were leading.
-
After they return to the city from investigating the attack by Shadrixkayl's minions and the incident there (http://forums.layonara.com/1739709-post30.html), Daniella removes her armor and sets it aside for cleaning. She takes a glance in a small mirror and runs a hand through her hair, then sighs and actually goes to look for a hair brush. She pulls the brush through her hair to remove the tangles from travel, and then sets the brush down, picking up the small mirror once more and looking at the lines of worry that seemed to be etched permanently in her face as of late. "Toran, will there ever be a time when we are not at war?" she asks in soft prayer. "Sometimes I feel like all I ever do is fight."
She sighs as she sets the mirror down and changes out of her padded armor, pulling on a loose tunic and her worn riding breeches instead, and then ventures out into the corridor. She spots Jillian down the hall and turns in the opposite direction, seeking out the Sovereign Lord. As she turns down the corridor towards Siphe's rooms, she asks the guards to stand aside and remain outside so that she can speak with Lord Siphe privately. They look at her with a bit of unease at first, but then agree, and step aside as she enters, shutting the door behind her.
Daniella enters Jaedon Siphe's private chambers and finds him standing bare-chested and shaving his face in front of an ornate mirror. His exposed chest, back and arms are crisscrossed with scars from previous battles, showing in contrast against the hardened muscle of his powerful form. He looks at her through the reflection in the mirror and the look on his face reminds her suddenly of a wild lion suddenly backed into a corner: when it's the most dangerous and unpredictable.
Daniella feels a soft heat rise to her cheeks as she looks over his war-hardened form and the evidence of battle. She clears her throat softly to announce her presence. "I know you're not angry with me, my lord." Her tone is gentle, but confident, as if trying to soothe a savage beast she knows may very well attack her. "But how can you expect me to help you if I don't know all of the information? If you don't want me to tell Hilm what it is that you've done, then I won't tell them. I'm here to help you." She keeps a comfortable distance, watching his reactions as she continues.
"What was the shade talking about?" she asks. "Please just tell me. If you can't bear to tell me as another commander, then just tell me as one friend to another. I care about your lands and your people, too. You know this."
While Daniella speaks, he finishes the last few strokes with the razor sharp blade then wipes the remaining soap from his face. An uncomfortable silence grows before he turns to face her, leaning back against the table bench on which the mirror sits.
"Just what is your game, Commander?" he asks angrily. "You feel the need to pick up strays you think need help and show them some love and nurturing and expect them to drop down at your feet and roll over in delight?"
He slams the towel down on the bench beside him. "Or are you on some mission for Lord Alexander to try and gain my trust and then undermine me? Or is it that you are on some Divine mission to convert me and then steal my kingdom from me and the hearts and minds of my people? I'm asking because things are closing in and soon tough decisions are going to have to be made. If I cannot trust that you are with me 100% no matter what then I will have to ask you to leave. This matter with Shadrixkayl will no doubt come to bloodshed because my days in dealing in slaves are done. So if you stay you need to stay because you are with me and not for any other reason. I need someone I can trust, I need someone who can see reason and I need someone who won't try to undermine me. Are you that person Daniella?"
Daniella listens to him calmly, though, her eyebrows tick up as he accuses her of some of the possible reasons she might be there with him. She looks at him once he's done, letting a silence hang in the air for a moment before she speaks. "Jaedon Siphe, listen to yourself! Is this really what you think of me? Your back is up against a wall. I understand that. How do you think I felt when I stood here in this very place with your forces bearing down on my walls? You want to know the whole truth of why I'm here, then I'll tell you. You might be disappointed after that rather insulting list of accusations you just spewed at me." She gives him a look that seems to be a mix of disappointment, hurt, and yet, understanding.
"I'm not here to try to get people to roll over at my feet in gratitude. I've had that happen to me before and believe me it is one of the most horrifying things I have ever been through. As for Lord Alexander, how can you even ask me that? You said yourself that you think I'm starting to be a bit of an embarrassment to him for my choosing your side and defending you again and again when everyone thinks I'm utterly crazy to do so after what you and I have been through." Her voice starts to pick up as her own anger builds some.
"And as for me converting you and taking your lands and hearts of your people? Seriously?!" She looks away from him and throws her hands up in the air in frustration before looking back at him. "Of all of the cruel, insensitive things you could have said to me Jaedon, maybe you should think and see reason before you ask me if I am really here with you 100%."
She gestures angrily towards the door as if indicating someone else who is not present. "My own brother in faith was here and presented two offers of marriage to a man I believe he knows full well that I have started to love while the two of you kept me in the dark, outside, when I am supposed to be acting as an ambassador between you two. And after that, knowing full well that my time here with you is limited and that now I have to keep my distance from you and try very hard to shield my own heart from what I know is going to happen, I still came back here with you. Why? Because I care about you. Because I care about these people. If I was truly the selfish person that you have just accused me of being, believe me I would have just left. Because being here with you and knowing what will happen in four years is KILLING me."
She looks away from him again, getting her anger in check and setting her face into a more controlled manner before continuing again. "If it's bloodshed that Shadrixkayl wants, then I will do all that I can to protect you and your people. All that I ask is that I know why I am going to call upon my troops to likely lay down their lives for yours. I've already lost more lives than I can even count standing in this place and holding it off. I'm not about to see it fall again. I doubt Shadrixkayl is going to fight honorably." She gives him a pointed look.
"If you want my help, it's here. If you don't, then tell me to leave, but regardless of how skilled you think your people are at fighting, they can't do this alone. Together, we stand a better chance."
Fire meets fire, and outside in the newly finished corridors of the main tower guards try not to listen to the shouting going on in their Lord's chambers. Jillian Stuart stands a distance away, with a mixed expression of warning and worry as she hears the raised voices inside. She stares down the guards in a way that suggests that if they even consider listening in on the private matters between the Lord and Lady that she will personally and physically remove them from their position. Even still, she doesn't seem entirely pleased with the situation, an almost mirror image of the expression that comes from First Rank Nijau as he joins her in the corridor and looks towards the raised voices from his Lord's chambers.
Inside, Jaedon crosses the room with hurried steps to Daniella, anger and frustration evident on his face and raises his scarred hands as if to place them on her shoulders then stops just in front of her and his arms drop to his sides. His stormy eyes gaze into her eyes' blue depths as if seeking truth, then, suddenly, he wraps an arm around her waist and draws her into a crushing embrace, kissing her deeply and passionately. Daniella returns his kiss with equal passion and longing, wrapping her arms around him as well in almost a desperate need of physical contact.
When he releases her, his voice is hoarse and faltering and his expression is full of regret for his actions. "I... am sorry. Go, go now, I must think, and I can't do it with you near me."
His voice almost pleads with her to leave, suggesting he might perhaps regret what might happen next, his willpower obviously shaken by the woman standing before him.
Daniella looks at him almost stunned for a moment, but then, rather than leaving, she reaches back up to him to pull him to her to kiss him again.
Passions take hold between the two leaders as they give into the feelings that they have each bottled up inside, each building up pressure, yearning for a release. For the night, they are no longer a Sovereign Lord and a Lady Commander, but instead just a man and a woman. No more guards, no more dragons, no more world coming to an end around them.
Outside in the corridor, the two most trusted of the Lord and Lady, Nijau and Jillian look at each other, having all too well of an idea of what is going on inside the closed private chambers. They dismiss the other guards and take up the position themselves, preferring to keep the situation as much of a guarded secret as possible. Neither of them interferes, but they cannot seem to keep their twin expressions of disapproval from their face as they maintain the watch long through the night, occasionally discussing between themselves on how to deal with the possible damage that could come about from the actions of the Lord and Lady.
As the sky starts to light in the predawn of the morning, Jaedon rises and untangles himself from the sheets to start his morning routine. He looks back at the bed and Daniella's resting form. "I hope your god can help us sort out the mess we've now put ourselves in." He runs his hands through his grey streaked hair.
"I should have stuck to commanding men in the field; it was far simpler in many ways. We cannot let what has... is happening between us weaken our resolve. I prefer we keep this private for the time being. It will only confuse things...more than they already are. I need to speak to Ractrafiorez, I will leave this morning and return in a few days. Until then Nijau is in command." He pauses and looks at her again. "If, when I return, you are gone, I will hold nothing against you. If you stay we shall see what the future brings."
Daniella watches him as he gets up, her eyes lingering on his form as he crosses the room. Then. almost reluctantly, she draws a sheet around her and sits up on the edge of the bed, her brown hair only partially covering the battle and whip scars on her own back. She rubs her forehead, obviously a bit tired after the events of the night, but not seeming dissatisfied except that the burden of leadership seems to be falling once again as they seem to settle back into the reality of what is happening.
"I think," she starts, but stifles a yawn in the early hours, "that no matter what, I'm sure I'll have to explain to Jillian why I was here all night, and you know that you'll likely have to do the same with Nijau..."
She rubs her left shoulder easing the old injury a bit and trying to stretch it out. "Simpler doesn't always mean it's what you're meant to do, Jaedon. You know that. As far as Ractrafiorez..." She sighs. "You have no idea how much I wish the dragons would fight their own wars and leave the rest of us out of them." Her voice is weary.
She stands and brings the sheet with her as she crosses the room to him. "I have duties around here to see to while you're gone, but promise me you'll tell me what's going on? You're basically making me try to fight blindfolded, with no shield and with one hand held behind my back. I can do it, but it's a lot more dangerous." She runs her fingers through her hair, pulling out some of the overnight tangles.
She takes another deep breath. "As for Toran, the best I can do is pray." She bends to pick up a few pieces of discarded clothing and then goes to get dressed. "You're a good man and a good leader, Jaedon. I hate to see what this thing between you and the dragon does to you. You know that if you need me there with you, I'd go. I told you... we're stronger together. But, in the meantime, I may need to make an arrangement to go to the Citadel if I'm going to have to arrange for Toranite aid. If it's shades we're dealing with, I'll need to coordinate with the Shining Hand." She frowns a bit. "I'll have to travel through Hilm and use the portals to be able to get back here as quickly as possible, and regardless of how I feel about him right this moment... I will likely need to talk to Lance. Either way, though... I can wait until you return before I make those decisions. But we only have, what, three months? That's not a lot of time."
-
Daniella walked up the stairs in the tower of the Siphe Castle. There were still places in the castle that were still under construction, but during her time spent here, she had been designated quarters that had at least started to feel a bit like home. She hoped that perhaps she would finally get a chance to reflect over everything that had been going on, and pray, and maybe, if she was able to be quiet for long enough, she would hear Toran's answer.
Jaedon was gone still, dealing with Ractrafiorez deep in the mountains. He had said he would be back in a few days, but a few days had turned into longer. She worried, not only because he hadn't yet returned, but also because the longer he spent away, the less time they had to truly prepare in case of an impending attack by Shadrixkayl's minions.
Daniella instructed the guards outside that she wished to not be disturbed unless it was absolutely urgent. Closing the door behind her, she sighed at the silence of the room for the moment. She removed her sword belt and set the Ancient Sword of Holy Light on a small table by the bed. She always felt the need to keep it close at hand just in case, and the light from the blade when unsheathed brought her peace. She pulled off her mithril scaled gloves and set them over the sword and sat down on the edge of her bed to remove her boots. She needed to pray, and she needed to do so as just herself, not with any extra magical enhancements or distractions.
As she removed each piece of her normal armor, she reflected over how each item had come into her possession at just the right time. The emerald ring had been a gift from Loran Kor, the Mateo Award of the church after the tests of Rofirein along with the sword and the gloves from the ancient cache of artifacts that had been found. Her scaled cloak, a gift of thanks after she had aided the town of Hurix, but that cloak had saved her life several times over now, protecting her from acid. Even her sword belt and helm had all seemed to come just at a time when she had needed them most.
But right now what she needed most was solace. She slipped out of her padded armor and donned a simple priest's robe and went to stand by the small window, pushing the simple, but thick wool curtain aside to look out at the evening sky as the sun dipped below the mountain peaks. Toran's Light shone in the heavens, bright against the darkening purple skies. Tonight, at least, there were no shadows attacking. She closed her eyes and started to feel a prayer silently start in her heart before it reached her lips to form the whisper.
But then a knock came to her door.
Daniella opened her eyes and looked up at the distant star as if in apology for the interruption and then sighed and walked over towards the door.
"Yes?" she asked, without opening the door.
"Milady Commander, I apologize, but you said that if there was something urgent we should still notify you."
Daniella's head hung a moment. Maybe this won't take so long, she thought. She opened the door enough that she could look at the face of the soldier standing in the hall. His face showed true remorse at having to disturb her.
"It's the supply room, Commander. It seems that there's been a mix up in the allotment of arms to the Toranite troops that you have here, and the armor repairs that have been sent over to the Garra stores." The soldier paused a moment and eyed Daniella's simple priest's robe. "My apologies, Commander," the soldier commented, "I didn't think you would be asleep."
Daniella forced a small, pained smile. "I wasn't asleep, but this issue with the supplies sounds like it should be taken up with the supply master and the smithy. Just because the Sovereign Lord isn't here doesn't mean you don't go through normal channels. If you have an issue with it, speak with First Rank Nijau, and if it's to deal with the Toranite supplies specifically, speak with Captain Stuart." Her expression returned to a practiced neutral expression. "When I mean urgent, I meant something that couldn't wait until morning. This could have waited, soldier." She started to close the door.
The soldier saluted. "Yes, Commander. My apologies, ma'am." He turned and as Daniella shut the door again, she could hear his armored footsteps move down the corridor.
"Why is it that everything seems to be urgent when it can actually wait?" she asked quietly to the empty space. "I'm trying, Toran." She crossed back to the window again, and before she even so much as touched the curtain, she heard a loud crash in the hallway.
With quick steps she moved to the door once more and opened it, stepping out into the corridor to see what was the commotion. A serving woman, Sarah, had dropped a large metal tray bearing food and drink, sending the load sprawling over the stone floor. The glass carafe of wine had shattered and the red liquid spread out onto the floor like blood. One of the guards stood over the woman scolding her for her clumsiness, but another bent to help her clean up the mess.
Upon hearing the door open, the scolding soldier turned crisply to face Daniella. "I'm sorry, Commander, she was bringing you supper, but I informed her that you had refused the meal for tonight. She was leaving when she... well, you see. It was an accident. Sorry to have disturbed you."
Daniella let out a breath and ducked back into her room to grab a towel from a stand and then proceeded down the corridor to help clean up the mess. "Well don't just stand there, Denison, get something to help the woman clean up this mess."
Eyes widening as Daniella herself started to work at the mess, the solder moved into quick action. "Yes, ma'am, of course milady."
Daniella looked over the woman as she mopped up the spilled wine. "You aren't hurt, are you Sarah?"
Sarah shook her head, her cheeks blossoming. "No, milady. I'm very sorry. I didn't get the message that you weren't hungry. Only my pride is injured. Really... I can clean this."
"It's alright, Sarah," Daniella offered quietly, continuing to pick up the pieces of the glass. "I don't want you cutting your hands. I appreciate you thinking of me."
After about ten minutes, the mess had been cleared away and all was back to quiet. Daniella went back to her rooms and tried once more.
But throughout the evening, nothing seemed to be willing to let her have more than a brief moment of peace.
Orders confirmation of posts.
A letter of request from Hilm.
Travel arrangements for the dignitaries from Nesar.
A request from Tyrian Baldu'muur regarding what she had discovered with her "kitchen boy" on her tour of the city.
All evening long, it was one thing or another until Daniella finally closed her door once more and sunk down to her knees in the center of her room.
Maybe this was Toran's answer. She was here because she was needed. What was happening between her and Jaedon Siphe was simply not nearly as important as everything else that her job entailed. She had a duty to perform, and by trying to consider her own personal life, she was being selfish.
As the evening turned into night, she finally crawled into bed. Exhausted, she put out the last candle and closed her eyes. She was a servant of Toran, and a servant of the people. She always would be; it was who she was. But as her consciousness drifted away, she couldn't help her thoughts from straying to the stormy eyes of Jaedon Siphe, and the feel of his lips upon hers.
-
Daniella headed down to her troops after Siphe's dramatic arrival with the Tarnished Death. She threw herself even more into her work, speaking with her own Toranite officers for a time before heading down to where the Toran shrine was being constructed. She spent the rest of the day out of the castle between prayer at the shrine and overseeing training, taking in reports, and otherwise directing people to one task or another based on the situations at hand.
As hunger finally overtook her as the sun's last rays disappear below mountainous horizon to the west she finally made her way back to Siphe Castle. She bypassed the hall where she and Jaedon had shared many meals and asked one of the staff to please send her meal to her quarters as well as offered an apology to the Lord Siphe that she would not be at dinner that night.
As she shut the heavy door to her room behind her, she stands quietly in the room with her back to the door. Except for a small fire in the fireplace, the room was dark. Out of instinct she scanned the room with her eyes as well as her senses to detect any evil nearby, and then closed her eyes, letting out a slow, metered breath. She opens her eyes once more and began to remove her armor, one piece at a time, the blue dragon scales catching the light from her jewelry and casting odd distorted shadows as the light splayed in many directions about the room.
She set the armor on a stand and crossed the room to a desk. She sat quietly for some time before finally taking out a piece of blank parchment, a quill, and an inkwell. Dipping the quill in the ink, she started to write, but after just a few words, she paused, her hand hovering absently as her thoughts drifted elsewhere.
A knock at the door caused her to break out of her thoughts and realize that beyond the first two words of "Dear Jaedon" there was nothing but a few blobs of pooled ink that had dripped from her quill. She rubbed her face and stood to open the door. Outside the door was a resolute-faced soldier of the Fifth Rank.
"Commander Stormhaven, the Sovereign Lord requests your presence as soon as possible. I am to escort you when you are ready."
Daniella suppressed a wince and nods to the Fifth Rank. "If you'll give me a few moments, then, I will go with you."
"Of course, Commander."
Daniella shut the door and looked between her armoire and her armor on the stand.
I better go with the armor, she thought to herself. Safer that way.
She replaced the blue dragonscale plates and took a deep breath, offering a prayer quietly to Toran. "Please help me be strong. I know what I have to do, but you know it won't be easy. Help me to simply focus on the battle we have before us, and not what happened between us." She took another breath and opened the door, resuming her military demeanor in the presence of the soldiers.
She walked with the guards to a private room in the main tower of the fortress. They opened the door and escorted her inside, but then turned and left the room, closing the door behind them and taking up posts outside the door.
Jaedon paced back and forth on the other side of the room, stopping when he saw Daniella enter. She stayed just inside the doorway, very obviously keeping a safe distance between them.
"Daniella... I wasn't sure you would even come." He ran a hand through his hair. "Things have become... complicated."
Daniella looked over his new red armor, signifying his association with the red dragon Ractrafieroz, the Tarnished Death. "I see," she replied.
"Won't you come forward, or do you plan on hiding in the doorway for the entire conversation?"
Daniella took a few reluctant steps forward, sighing softly but maintaining a formal distance. "I'm not hiding, Lord Siphe."
Jaedon looked at her, the same face she'd come to know and love over their time together, and she could see the lines of stress and worry etched in his face even more, a few more notes of gray in his short cropped hair. "You are the only one I trust to speak plainly. I know you judge me. I wish things were different."
Daniella frowned, remembering her own previous encounter with Ractrafieroz. "You're bonded to the Tarnished Death, aren't you?"
"For now... yes."
"Until when?"
"Until he enters his slumber, then he promises to release me."
Daniella ran a hand through her hair in her own gesture of stress and frustration. Surely Jaedon had to realize what a mess he was in? Jaedon, she groaned inwardly, you said this was what you didn't want... another evil lord.
"I can trust you with this Daniella; he is not a well dragon. The injuries he sustained at Briardusk almost killed him. He needs to enter a period of rest or slumber as he calls if for a long time to recover, perhaps as long as a hundred years. My kingdom's existence relies on the threat he provides to any who would dare challenge us. If our and his enemies knew the truth...well...you can imagine what would happen."
"I saw the damage," Daniella told him tersely, "but that doesn't mean he'll keep his word. You told me before you left you would tell me what this arrangement you have with him is. Then you left without another word while we've been dealing with everything here in your absence." She stopped, frustrated. "You swore that you did not want to accept another lord and master, and then you went and bonded yourself to a dragon. And not just any dragon, but a dragon that I almost..." She cut herself off angrily as she remembered the cold emptiness as Toran had withdrawn from her for just a few heartbeats when she had almost tried to convince the war council to give in to Ractrafieroz's demands in the last war.
Jaedon's voice was full of defensive anger, regret, and a quality that almost made him sound like a part of him was pleading for Daniella's understanding. "I have done what I had to do for the sake of my people. Sometimes... sometimes sacrifices must be made...surely you understand that."
"I understand that plenty," Daniella cut back to him, perhaps a bit harsher than she had intended. "But you don't make sacrifices to evil, Jaedon. Or at least I don't. These giants roaming around your lands now. They're evil. When this is over, how do you know that they will not overrun your lands?"
Jaedon ran his hands through his hair again in a mirrored gesture of stress that both of them shared. "They are a necessary evil for now. We cannot face Shadrixkayl alone. Ractrafieroz showed me the horde coming against us."
"I didn't face the mist alone, and I know that Toran is with me. Did Ractrafieroz show you that too?" She paused to let him hopefully grasp what it was she was telling him. "Or did he show you just enough that he would gain your servitude?"
"Every clan, cave and burrow in the Orsgaunt Mountains south of here has been emptied by Shaddrixkayl. Even now a horde of over fifty thousand creatures assemble." The fear in his voice was evident, and it was something that Daniella wasn't used to. This was the man that she had once seen as the relentless, confident, stubborn, unyielding commander of Molvaren's armies. Everyone had feared him. And now, he was afraid. Not for himself, but for his people. "Fifty thousand, Daniella."
She looked down and clenched her jaw, fighting the urge to comfort him, or beat some sense into him. She wasn't sure if either would do any good.
"My people will die to the last man or woman if necessary," Jaedon continued, "but I cannot let that happen."
"Why?" Daniella asked him. "What did Shadrixkayl's minions mean when they spoke to us?"
"Why?" He looked back at her. "Because Shadrixkayl believes these lands belong to him. Because he hates Ractrafieroz."
"Do you belong to him?"
"To Shadrixkayl?" He paused a moment. "I was once forced into a bond with him by Molvaren, yes."
"That's what this is over then," Daniella supposed.
"But I was released."
"By whom?"
"Molvaren ordered the bond broken so that I could lead his armies against Nesar and Hilm."
Daniella ran her hands through her hair again and now it was her turn to start pacing.
"He threatened to use the poison on Shadrixkayl if he didn't," Jaedon continued.
Daniella stopped midstride and spun to face him. "What else aren't you telling me?"
"Shadrixkayl won't strike against Molvaren even now but he is free to act against his other mortal enemy, Ractrafieroz. I spent three months with Ractrafieroz planning strategies and ways to defeat Shadrixkayl... and finally...accepting the bonding...it was not a decision I made lightly."
"Why was it even necessary?"
"A good commander needs intell as fast as possible, Ractrafieroz may not be able to physically participate in battle but he can fly over the field of operations and give me second by second information. I can hear his thoughts and him mine now."
Daniella folded her arms. His explanations weren't good enough.
"You should know how important fast and accurate communication is in any war Daniella. You cannot tell me it doesn't give us a chance."
She did know that fast and accurate communication was valuable. But there was only so far she'd go for that information. "I know that in my one dealing with that dragon when I almost gave him what he wanted I felt Toran disconnect from me as a warning. It may not mean anything to you, but it means a lot to me, and I can tell you right now that without Toran, we would not have survived the battle with the Mist."
Jaedon swore, frustrated. "Daniella, I don't have your connections. It's just me. My decision. My people."
"Well, you have your connection now," she said ominously.
Jaedon sighed and unclenched his fists. "I don't blame you if you want to take your people and go. I imagine it would be crossing my mind if I were in your shoes."
Daniella blinked. This was not something that she had even once considered actually. Even now, it wasn't an option. "Jaedon, I told you I would protect your people and these lands. Just because you did something stupid on a couple of occasions doesn't mean I'm going to abandon you."
Jaedon sighed, then his face hardened once more. "Being a commander means being pragmatic and taking advantage of opportunities as they arise..."
Daniella cut him off, nearly swearing or cursing at him. "Don't lecture me on being a commander. Who is it you're trying to convince? Me? Or you?"
"You... me... does it matter? In the end it really doesn't matter what I do. All that matters is that my people are spared to live out their lives without fear of being wiped out."
"You've been stressed and worried due to whatever your arrangement is with this dragon since I came here. Now things are worse. I told you, unless you tell me everything, how do you expect me to be able to help you?"
Jaedon started to try to explain. "You see, I've killed so many people in my life, some of them in not so nice circumstances that the only way I can make it right is to see that the people I serve don't have to do that. I may go straight to the Soul Mother herself for what I've done, but I will go willingly to save my people."
"So you think by dealing with an evil dragon and sacrificing yourself is redemption for them?" She let out a groan of frustration. Was there no getting through to this man? "Your people need you alive."
"I've seen dragons over the last decade, they are just like humans fighting over the bits and pieces of whatever they can get out of life, except they live longer. Is that evil? I don't know..."
Daniella looked at him seriously. "I know evil."
"I suppose you do," he conceded. "So tell me Daniella, am I evil? Is that what I am reduced to? An evil dictator?"
Daniella frowned and looked at him, studying him, and searching her feelings. There was a faint, but unmistakable feeling of evil that seemed to emanate from the armor he wore, but of him personally, he was still the same. Perhaps not exactly good, but definitely not evil. "Your armor has evil about it. You are the same as you were before you left. You're not evil."
"I would have thought you of all people would understand sacrifice."
Her tone softened. "Jaedon, I do understand sacrifice."
Jaedon's expression lost it's hardened edge and simply looked sad, dejected. She felt her resolve melting away. This was a man for whom she cared deeply. "We look at each other across the room and yet I sense there is some great divide between us," he spoke softly. "Was what we shared that one time nothing but a memory? Have our lives changed so much in such a short time?"
Daniella crossed the room to him, unable to bear his suffering any longer. She looked at him with concern.
"I don't ask for your forgiveness. I can live with what I have done," he said to her. "All I ask is that you accept it and deal with it and... let me do this and save my people. I know it's a lot to ask, and I wish in my heart I didn't have to ask it."
"There is only so much sacrifice one can do before there is nothing left to give," she said quietly. "And as for what happened..." She looked away as she continued. "There are two other women in this castle who are intended for you." She took a breath. "And we have a war to fight."
"Daniella..." Jaedon's voice softened. "Right here and now, I need to know...could this work?" He indicated the two of them. "Or is it an impossible dream? Because...before I walk out that door I need to know..."
Daniella closed her eyes in silence for a moment, begging Toran to guide her. But Toran, in His usual fashion when it came to Jaedon Siphe, was silent. She would have to do what she knew was right, no matter how much she knew that it would hurt. She could live without Jaedon Siphe, no matter how much she had grown to love him and how much it would hurt to lose him. It had been some of the worst pain she'd ever imagined when she'd lost Chaynce, but she'd survive. She couldn't live without Toran. That she knew without a shadow of a doubt. She pressed her lips together and then took a deep breath before looking up into his eyes. Jaedon looked back down at her, his face unreadable as he awaited her answer.
"Whatever you say, I will respect and understand your decision."
"You're asking me to make a decision between you and Toran."
"I am not asking Toran. I am asking you."
"I can't be your wife and Toran's Champion." Even as her heart ached as she said it, she also knew that she was right. "It doesn't change how I feel about you, but I can't be what you want me to be."
Jaedon breathed in deeply before answering. "If such would be the case I cannot ask you to give that up. The world needs people like you Daniella. It would be selfish of me to think i could have you."
"So yes," she said quietly. "I do understand sacrifice."
Jaedon nodded. "I believe it." He paused another breath. "Will you remain by my side at least until this war is over?"
Daniella looked away, looking at him was just too painful. She could still feel the urge to hold him. She could still remember how it felt when he kissed her. "I promised I would."
"Thank you."
Daniella started to say something else, but just then the door opened. Jaedon was being called to meet with the leader of the fire giants. As the guard left to wait in the hall, Jaedon started to reach out to Daniella, but lowered his hand again. "I'd appreciate it if you joined the war council later, but I understand if you want some time to think."
Daniella nodded once as he left the room. It felt as if some of the air pressure had been let out of the room as he left. Daniella took a deep breath as the footsteps of the Sovereign Lord and his guards faded down the corridor. This was not a time to be focused on love or attraction. They were still at war.
War she could deal with. As horrible as it was, it was easier to deal with than the storm of emotions she had inside of her regarding Jaedon Siphe.
-
Jaedon receives a request to meet with Daniella once his meeting is over.
Daniella paces back and forth in the room, waiting. When the door opens, she turns and looks as Jaedon enters. The doors are closed behind him, once again leaving them alone, but this time it is Jaedon standing in the doorway instead of Daniella. She smiles, with a mix of nerves and relief at his presence. "Before you say anything, I need to say this while I can. I know we will leave soon and with sixty-thousand enemy troops facing us, I want to say this now in case I don't have another chance to do so." She takes a breath and wrings her hands together in front of her. "I may have been a bit cold toward you when you returned, and I feel I owe you an explanation, especially considering what transpired the night before you left." She pauses to consider her words, but not long enough to let him try to stop her from continuing. "I meant what I said that night, every word of it. And maybe I was foolish to let myself lose control with you that much, but it doesn't change the fact that it happened, and foolish or not, I wanted it to happen, and I think you did as well." Her cheeks flush just slightly and she looks away from him, finding her composure again.
"The point is, Jaedon, a lot happened while you were gone. Before you left, we both knew of the agreement that you had made with Nesar and Hilm regarding the offers that both had made for you, but they weren't actually here yet. I know that in the time that I've spent with you here this place has started to feel like home, and it's a feeling that I have not felt in quite some time. My own house in Trelania I rarely ever see, and I've spent so much time travelling from place to place that I'm not positive I can truly consider any one place "home." But here with you, things started to feel almost normal; the way people should feel, I suppose."
She looks back at him for a brief moment, and then away again as she continues. "But there are two women here now and both vie at least for your attention. The Princess Shey'kar is ruthless and evil and she delights in hurting people, especially the soldiers that she is supposed to be training with. Her generals will stop at almost nothing to see that she is not reprimanded for her actions either. Nijau was the only thing stopping the both of them from killing a man simply because it seemed to please them. She may only be sixteen years old, but she is her mother's daughter. I'm afraid that there will be little that you can do to change her ways of thinking to one that you see fit for a citizen of your Sovereignty. In a position of power, I think she would only do more damage."
Daniella takes another breath as if considering her next words carefully. "Lady Eliza is different. She is a good woman, and she very much wants to be someone that will be your wife and your partner. But she is so thoroughly intimidated by you, she seems to want to push herself to the point where she has almost gotten herself killed once already simply trying to prove that she is worthy of your choice. In time, if she were to gain her own confidence, she may actually be good for you, but as she is now I simply fear for her safety. I worry that she would push herself into something so far beyond her capabilities just to catch your eye, and she won't survive it."
She holds a hand up to keep him from saying anything. "I'm not finished." She takes another breath, a bit more ragged than before. "I can't tell you who to choose, or not to choose. That's not my right. But I don't know if you realize exactly how hard it has been for me to stand there and answer questions about you for the Lady Eliza, questions about your likes, your interests, what sort of man you are, and what type of woman you would prefer, and each time know what we have done together. I feel like I'm lying to her even though I've told her nothing but the truth. Each answer I tell her stabs me. I tell you honestly, I don't want her to know how to win your heart. I wish I could simply be selfish. I wish I could tell you that I want you for myself, and that I want this to be my home, and that I don't want you to choose anyone else." Her voice trails off for a moment. "But I feel torn when I'm with you. While you were gone I felt all of Toran's power with me as we fought the shadows. It felt right. But when I'm here with you, Toran is quiet. Still here, but quiet. And with you, it feels right, too."
She laughs, nervously, and looks back at him. "I don't even know if I'm making any sense. As terrible as it is, war is so much simpler than how I feel about you." She runs a hand through her hair. "I suppose, what I'm asking you is, if we survive this battle, and Fieroz City still stands, and if you are released from the bonding with Ractrafieroz, is it too much for me to ask if we can see if maybe there is a way to make what we have possible without simply ruling it out completely just yet?"
Jaedon regards her, his expression one unlike she has seen before. Instead of answering her directly he starts with something unexpected. "I've just come from a long meeting with the merecenary Steel, his requests make anything to do with us...very difficult."
He brushes a hand through his hair. "I dont know what is to come, I dont know whether we will be alive in six weeks let alone six months or even a year. I can promise you this. We stand together, we take each day one at a time, and we fight to hold this nation together, as long as we can."
"With Steel?" Daniella blinks. "What in Toran's name could he possibly have said or done that has anything that could have to do with you and me? The Mercenary's requests are... generally odd, but he also is usually one for negotiation and hidden agendas." She looks suddenly tired. "That wasn't what I expected you'd say, but I'll take it. And if you want, I'll talk to the Mercenary."
-
Steel receives a summons sometime after Daniella leaves her meeting with Jaedon. He is escorted to yet another room in the finished part of still-under-construction castle where a Daniella stands in full armor, looking out a window with her arms folded.
Steel is himself outfitted to the max in gear that makes him almost appear to be some sort of peddler. He is lacking the armor, save for his tell-tale mask.
Daniella turns to look at Steel and narrows her eyes slightly at him as she looks him over from head to toe seeming to take in every weapon and other item he's wearing. "What brings you to the Siphe Principality Mercenary? Still trying to simply have a meeting with the Sovereign Lord, or did you actually come bearing information this time?"
"Hello, Daniella Stormhaven. Good to see you, too. Yes, I'm fine. Somewhat smelly from marching in the dust cloud of giants, but otherwise no worse for the wear. How are you?" When he speaks, only his head moves, swiveling about on a thick neck. The rest of his face is that unflinching metal.
Her face is stone, but her eyes seem to hold some sort of anger in them, which is quite obviously directed at Steel. Her cheek twitches slightly. "You'll just have to forgive my lack of enthusiasm at your presence here. Are you here to actually help?"
"That's a funny question, really, when you think about it. See, I was here first. Born here. I labored against the Cult for decades before the rest of the world decided it was worth thinking about. I pulled Queen Langovale out of a city under attack by a dragon and escorted her to safety. And yet you ask, am I here to help you? The question, dear Champion, is: Are you here to help me?"
Her jaw clenches. "I am here to help the people of these lands. Your past involvement aside, you always have some sort of hidden agenda, and now I want to know what it is."
"You always look at me like I'm some sort of monster... and, well, I suppose in some ways I am, but hidden agendas aside, what have I ever done to you but helped you? Sure, my methods might be considered suspect by some, and yet I've never been unreasonable. So why such contempt for me?" He appears relaxed, finding a wall to lean against, casually folding his oversized arms.
"I have my reasons." She purses her lips and looks back out the window for a second, then looks at him again, only some of the anger diminishing in her eyes. "You answer to no one. But everyone here answers to someone, and your agenda affects us all if you are here."
"I assure you I have Hilm's best interest in mind. And having said that, it pleases me that I don't believe I'll be needing to get rid of Jaedon Siphe. I can see why you're attracted to the man, however fatally. Because there is one small problem with Jaedon. He's not a Toranite."
She blinks and her neck colors slightly. "What does that have to do with anything?" She adds quickly "And... why would you think you would be the one to have the authority to get rid of him?"
"Laying aside for a moment your aspirations of having a lasting place in his bedroom, it has everything to do with Hilm and the balance of power on Belinara. A Toranite must rule in Hilm. In your heart, you know this. And that means Jaedon can never rule in Hilm, even if he is allowed his little fiefdom in the badlands. And seriously, you answered your second question already when you acknowledged that I answer to no one."
Her face colors more, but it's obvious she's more offended than embarrassed. "How dare you make assumptions of our aspirations, mine or his. He has no aspirations of ruling Hilm. If you actually took the time to look for real information you would have known that. Lord Alexander rules Hilm. And if something should happen to him, I have faith that he will choose an apt successor. No, that successor will not be Jaedon Siphe. If you're so concerned with the leadership of Hilm, then perhaps you should venture to the south and find out what it is that their aspirations are instead of coming here and making a fool of yourself over mine."
"Dearest champion, you act as if an appointment by Lord Alexander will be enough. Even if he does not choose Jaedon, others may. I never a said a thing about Jaedon aspiring to rule Hilm. I only said that he cannot."
"You obviously don't realize exactly the importance of keeping Jaedon Siphe exactly where he is. There is an offset of the balance that is supposed to be here in Belinara without him. Kuhl is no longer part of the equation given that it is run by a tyrant. If there is any hope of ridding Belinara of Molvaren, Jaedon Siphe must stay here and rule this 'little fiefdom' as you call it."
"Furthermore, I did not insult Jaedon, and yet you rush to defend him. I have, in fact, been only complimentary. Even the mention of your desire for him is in fact a compliment to the man, for he won the affection of his one-time enemy, the Champion of Toran."
"Stop making assumptions of my personal life, Mercenary, you are no better than the rumor mongers. Jaedon Siphe is a key point here on this continent to keep Molvaren from becoming the legitimate ruler of Kuhl."
"Of course he is. I never suggested he wasn't. And as for your personal life, I admit it. I can't help but find amusement in seeing the fire in your eyes so easily brought on by a little jab here and there. Truly, you are the lovely champion, and I the ugly mercenary. Who here is easiest to poke fun at?"
She looks at him oddly. "And since when do you hold Toranites in such regard to support us in the rule of Hilm?"
"Since when? Well, maybe since a certain Toranite called almost the whole world to arms to war against the Cult before it was too late. And by the gods, it nearly was too late. Or maybe it has nothing to do with high regards... and everything to do with understanding the balance of power on Belinara."
Daniella looks up at the ceiling in a gesture that suggests asking Toran for patience, then sighs as the last of her anger seems to leave her, replaced by only fatigue. "I'm not going to rule Hilm either, Steel."
"Absolutely not. You're best form is field general."
She runs a hand through her hair. "I know Lord Siphe has a mission for you. And I know that you've made your demands of him regarding that mission. But I have another job for you, if he is going to agree to your demands."
"My demands are not so far out of range from what he figured he must do anyway."
"Consider it a counter offer, then."
"But hey, I'm happy to help you too... Let me know what you need, and I'll let you know how much it will cost you."
"Nesar and Hilm have both sent prospective brides for Lord Siphe to choose between. I know Hilm's objective. I know Nesar's overt agenda. I want to know their hidden ones. Since the princess has arrived here with her guards she has put people in danger, and nearly killed more than one of our soldiers. She's too dangerous for Lord Siphe to marry, but I need to know how dangerous it would be for him to refuse."
She looks levelly at Steel. "So you see, perhaps your assumptions about my aspirations are somewhat off."
"Perhaps they are, perhaps they aren't." He pushes off the wall and meanders about the room.
"Before this mess with the dragons started, Nesarians suspected of following the Mad God vandalized the grounds of the shrine to Toran that is being constructed. They planted something called a 'Corrupter' meant to curse the very land. The item has been destroyed, but I need to know if they have somehow played a part in this dragon power play, or if they were planning for the future, or if it was just a random act of Corath."
"They'd be awfully impotent Corathites if they didn't at least try to corrupt their enemy's shrine. As for the princess, I'd love to meet her. You're right, though. He probably doesn't have a choice. At least not if he wants to keep Nesar as an ally to Hilm."
"Do you have contacts within Nesar or not?"
"Eh... a few... and only one I might consider any sort of ally. I mean, I could likely arrange a meeting with the Sanctus Mortis if I really had to, but I'd rather not. Visiting her always requires human sacrifices, and after all that, I doubt she'd tell me anything about her agenda. One of the Morsus ranks, their warrior class, owes me a few favors, but he's not going to side with me over the orders of the Sanctus Mortis. Her eight arms are admittedly commanding. You know I hate things with too many arms."
"I'm not talking about the Sanctus Mortis. I'm talking about the Queen."
"The one 'ally' I have in Arnax is a minor noble, and he may be the most useful, though he's smart enough to not get in too deep with me so it doesn't come back on him. No good contacts within the Queen's court, otherwise. I could attempt to make some, but that will require taking the time to do all of them favors."
"I want to know her plans. If she sent Corathite vandals that's one thing, and if not, I can accept that it's just normal attacks of Toran's enemies. But I need to know what it is she hopes to accomplish through the placement here." She purses her lips. "You have four months less than four years to accomplish the task."
"Ahh... I see."
"Granted, we could all die within the next 6 weeks if Shadrixkayl has his way, but I have faith that Toran will see us through this."
"Well, I can tell you this: the Sanctus Mortis and the Queen do not always agree, nor do they work together. Both try to manipulate the other, though I'm fairly certain the Sanctus wins the game more often than not."
"I'm not sure if that is reassuring or not."
"I'm betting the Queen has no desire to see her daughter wed to a lower than pond scum Hilmite wannabe. I'm betting the Sanctus refuses allow the opportunity to insert one of their own into a position of power within Hilm."
"Shey'kar is not the direct heir to Nesar's throne."
"Right. Anyhow, I'm betting they argued about it, but the wisdom of the arrangement, and a chance for the Queen to expand her territory and power saw them finally agree. That's speculation at this point. It may actually have been the Queen's idea, but I very much doubt such a decision occurred without the blessing of the eight armed freak."
"I'm not asking you for more assumptions, Mercenary, I'm asking you to find facts. I can come up with plenty of assumptions on my own, and I'm sure it would be far less expensive."
"I'm trying to help you understand the nature of the relationship between the two powers in Nesar. Any information I may get my hands on won't make nearly as much sense unless you are grounded in such an understanding."
She runs both hands through her hair again, and then clasps them neatly behind her back, the stress obvious. "Fine. I'm listening."
"The truth is, the Queen fights to not be a puppet, and yet, in so many ways, she is. If we are going to have a chance in her court, we will need to play on this. Which brings me to the important part: What the Pits am I going to be offering the Queen's court, and what exactly do I want in return?"
A tight smile. "You tell me. You're the one that generally comes up with those types of things, aren't you?"
"Not on the fly, usually. I'll need time to think on it. I may also be able to put an infiltrator in place, but such skilled people that would be willing to do such a thing are not only expensive, but are very difficult to come by. One isn't thrown in jail or even beheaded when one is caught spying in Nesar. The penalty is much, much worse. And as it is, I already have my best agent on assignment elsewhere."
"Understood." She takes a deep breath and lets it out. "Your price then?"
"Ah, price. You always were terrible at negotiating. You're supposed to entice me to do the job with a payment option before you even tell me the job. Well... let's see..."
"The job will take years... not only is it risky, but will likely involve the deaths of who knows how many people... and I will likely have to provide all the resources for the job myself, because gods know you're always broke."
"Fine, you want me to make an offer?"
"Oh, this I have to hear. Yes." The mirth is evident in his voice. His pacing about the room pauses so that he stands facing her, maybe a few feet away.
She looks up again as if asking for restraint in some way, pausing long enough to take a few breaths before looking back at him. "Information. You seem to be operating on quite a few rumors. I can clear up some of those rumors, if you can fill in facts where there are currently only speculations. I work my operations on the funding of the church, but I have a higher power to answer to. You only answer to yourself, so it only seems right that you would supply the funds for your side of the trade."
"Money is not an issue. What sort of information, that is, regarding what, exactly?"
"Information that I have that I generally reserve for dissemination among my officers only."
Steel rubs his metal chin. "Normally I'd ask for an example, a sample, or something else to otherwise prove that what you have to offer is indeed valuable to me, but instead I'll go ahead an raise you one: In exchange for inside information from Nesar's court, you won't just feed me a few bits of information once or twice. You will keep me informed on all political plans that involve the Toranites, and you will do so for a period of no less than ten years."
"I have to make a caveat on that, that regardless of that information, our agreement does not cover areas of information where the church has sworn me to secrecy."
Steel ponders, looking directly at Daniella. He is close enough that the light of the room can be seen flickering in his eyes, tiny dancers on a dark stage.
"Agreed. No church secrets."
She clenches her jaw, and then nods. "Agreed. Ten years. I believe we are finished here then."
"At least let me get dressed first. I feel so used." He turns for the door.
She either doesn't get his reference, or doesn't acknowledge it. "Oh, and Mercenary...
He glances back at her.
"If anything I tell you gets into the wrong hands, I will know exactly whose head to go after."
"Right back at you." He waves, exiting. "See you next time."
-
The reports had come in from Camp Oaxsama outlining the deaths and captures of so many of their soldiers. Daniella and Jaedon met with advisors and officers in meetings and discussions which often turned into debates about the pros and cons of splitting forces or holding their ground.
"It could be a trap," one of the officers mentioned. "If they're only attacking that force in the hopes of drawing us to their location, it could be dangerous. Oaxsama Battleforce knows how to handle themselves. If we weaken this position, they may be lying in wait to strike once we've split."
Daniella rubbed her forehead, thoroughly exhausted from the week's constant discussions. "Yes, but we can't simply leave them out there either." She looked at Jaedon briefly, then stood. "I need to think on my own for a bit." She walked away from the meeting and down the row towards her own tent, letting the flap close behind her. She sunk down on her cot, still wearing her armor, and closed her eyes, hoping to stave off the start of a fatigue headache that was blossoming behind her eyes.
She quickly drifted off to a restless sleep. All around her things were dark. Out of the darkness and the mist came monsters with teeth and claws. They were coming for her. She ran and she fought through the darkness until suddenly she awoke in a strange place.
Around her, the landscape was fuzzy and undefined. It was unreal, like being awake inside of a dream. Before her, a creature that looked similar to a human and yet not stood in full plate armor in blue and gold. Her eyes shone an ethereal silver, and her silver wings were folded in and hung down her back. "So," she said. "You are she." The creature regarded Daniella up and down. "Human in every way. Curious."
Daniella looked around. "Who are you?" Is this a dream? she thought to herself. She reached out instinctively to search for evil, but found none.
The creature smiled in amusement. "I am Ilithian. He told me to seek you out."
"Who told you to seek me out?" Daniella asked. "Where are we?"
"Yes, you are asleep," she echoed Daniella's thoughts. "But you are here also. Search your heart and you will know who."
Daniella closed her eyes. "Toran sent you?"
"I volunteered. I wanted to meet the one who saved him."
"I didn't save Toran," Daniella said, shaking her head. "He didn't need saving. I simply did as He asked me to do."
"Perhaps. We do not know what we are capable of until we are put into the circumstance."
"Why did you want to meet me? What is it you volunteered for?"
"Many have heard of your deeds, they spread as quickly through our realms as they do upon yours. I was... called as you would put it. A call I chose to answer in His name, especially when I knew I would meet you."
Daniella ran a hand through her hair, trying to find the right words, but no words seemed to come to her. The creature simply watched in amusement with her silver eyes sparkling. "Humility is a good thing, but there is a point when humility becomes anonymity, this point helps no one," the creature stated.
Finally Daniella spoke up again. "What is this calling?"
"A calling, a summons, a message...you might say any one of these things."
"What is it you want me to do? What is it Toran wants me to do?"
"The realm to which you belong is in grave danger."
Daniella's eyes flashed in frustration. "I know this. I feel like we've been fighting one thing after another in this very place for so long now. What is it that this land holds that is so important that we're continuously called here?"
"The Dragon that dwells in darkness has unleashed more power than it realizes. The Pit to which it has tied a rift or portal as you would call it is also the realm of a creature of such vast evil that the Dragons power could not match it," Ilithian explained, "and it has been awakened."
"How do we stop it?"
"You cannot."
Daniella blinked, taken aback. "What do you mean we cannot? We have to."
"Such creatures exist in deep hidden places in the realms of the Pits. Many have faded away over eons, their power slowly sapped by their own existence. Others have become dormant... until awakened... as this one has."
"I can't just let it go, though. There has to be some way to at least put it back to sleep?"
"The portal must be destroyed before the creature fully awakens and seeks out the light of your world."
Daniella nodded with a frown. "How?"
"The mercenary, Steel, plans to try to do this but he will fail. There are few powers that can close the portal now that it has gathered momentum and power from the creatures in that pit."
"What am I to do?"
"You need to seek the Light of Toran... and give it to Steel. Unless, of course, you plan to leave everything behind and attempt to close the portal yourself?"
Daniella looked at Ilithian, obviously confused. "How can I give the Light of Toran to Steel?"
"When Toran first ascended to the heavens, Rofirein granted him passage for a time back to the world in order to say goodbye to friends and family. To pass through the darkness between places he carried a torch given him by Rofirein. On his last journey before he finally ascended he left it behind. Now he understands why. It was for this moment."
"Where is it?"
"It lies atop a mountain in a place where only someone like yourself could enter- One of the first temples to Toran, now a ruin and overgrown. There you will find it."
Daniella ran a hand through her hair again. "I don't know where to start."
Ilithian smiled again in amusement. "It is not far from where you currently reside. Your presence in this battle is important, but so is finding the Light."
"You're saying I have to leave my troops."
"Steel will fail otherwise and no power in your world could save you from the Bubala. We have faith...in you Champion."
Daniella frowned again and nodded. "I'll find the light... but can the Mercenary be trusted?
"No, he cannot, he deals with forces beyond his comprehension and believes he controls them. But in this, he will have no choice."
"Then how can I give him the Light of Toran?"
"Simply hand it to him. It will not work for him of course; it will not work until brought into contact with sufficient power to activate it."
Ilithian nodded thoughtfully. "Know this also. The path at times may be difficult, and it may seem that you sacrifice much. But our purpose is to persevere in the face of all hardship for our true rewards. They may not seem apparent when we live our mortal lives, but they will come."
Daniella looked at her feet and the nondescript and almost intangible ground beneath them, considering the creature's words. She spoke directly into the heart of her where she had felt so much loss and pain over the last several years.
"Part of you will shape the future of this nation," the creature continued, "but it may not necessarily be you. When your time has come to an end here in this land, and you will know when that time comes, you must go to the Auscultare, for he will have need of you. Your duty then will be to listen to him and guide the future of the orders."
Daniella looked back up at Ilithian and simply nodded. "I'll find the Light. I won't let Toran down if I can help it."
"He knows. He understands."
Daniella started to say something, but the words faltered before they were formed. Instead, she simply stated, "I'll leave at first light."
"For any of this to happen, however," Ilithian warned, "you must convince Jaedon Siphe to give up the connection to the Tarnished one, if he does not it will be the demise of his people and all that you have worked for."
A flash of anger and frustration ripped through Daniella at the thought of Jaedon's link to Ractrafieroz. "Toran knows I've been trying. He's stubborn, and he thinks he's doing the right thing... I'm trying."
"The longer he bears its weight, the harder to bring him back."
Daniella's expression was pained. "I'll try harder."
"He knows."
Daniella's frustration was unable to be contained. "I know He knows, but I don't know how to make Jaedon know."
"He needs to see the strength he has already in those around him, he cannot fight all fights alone."
"Very well," Daniella said with a sigh.
"Go now then. Rest, tomorrow will be a busy day. The enemy comes."
"Thank you for the message."
The creature smiled again, as if she was going to divulge a secret. "Dragons fear humans, because they can rally together and when united become an unstoppable force. Rest well in the Light and love of Toran, Champion." She bowed deeply.
Daniella started to return the bow to the creature, and was startled awake. The sound of soldiers marching came to her from outside, and thin tendrils of light penetrated the still-closed tent flaps. She felt refreshed- more refreshed than she had felt in weeks. She squinted at the light passing over her, and rubbed her eyes only to realize there was something warm in her hand. She opened her hand and realized that she had been holding her holy symbol, the ankh, so tightly in her hand that it had left an impression in her skin. She put the amulet back around her neck and regarded her palm. She closed her eyes and whispered resolutely to Toran. "I'll find it."
She exits the tent and looks for the nearest soldier. "I need to speak with Lord Siphe immediately. And find me the Mercenary Steel. Don't let him go anywhere until I've spoken with him. If he's already left, track him down and bring him back."
-
When Daniella finds Jaedon, she approaches and clears her throat. "Lord Siphe, I need to speak with you please."
Once they are alone, she starts again, her face and expression resolute and schooled. "I am leaving my soldiers in your charge under your orders for a short while. I have to leave in order to find something. The Mercenary, Steel, is being brought here and he is not to leave until I return. I'm not entirely certain how long I'll be gone, but I am hoping it won't be more than a few days. I'll take a couple of my men with me, but we need to travel quickly, so we need to travel light."
He looks at her with a strange expression for a moment then gives a slight shrug.
"I've learned very clearly that you do not do anything you don't feel is necessary. Therefore you must have a *curse* good reason for leaving in the midst of all this. I take it there was no one else who could go? No, don't answer that. I will inform the rostered watch, you can go when you are ready."
He turns his back on her and looks into a tall mirror to adjust one of the straps on his red full plate. He has grown short tempered over the last few days and taken to using intimidation when his orders are questioned.
Daniella looks at him, taken aback at first, but suspects the bonding with the dragon is causing the slow change in Jaedon Siphe.
She steps in front of him and puts her hands up to his face to force him to look at her. "Jaedon, look at me. Listen to yourself. This isn't you. Don't let this bonding with the Tarnished Death destroy everything that you and I have been working for. You have so much strength just in you, you don't need a bonding with a dragon. You built this all without the Tarnished Death, and you can hold it off without him as well. I'll help you. You have friends. Please don't let this dragon ruin you."
She kisses him tenderly, but it is like trying to kiss a board. While there is some softening toward the end of the kiss, as she pulls away, the same stern, far away look appears on his face. She at him again. "I'll only be gone a few days."
"You do what you must, and so will I." With that he turns walks towards the opening of the command tent.
-
Steel approaches Daniella's tent escorted by a few sentries. "This better be good, Champion. I'm rather busy. And I think I killed two horses trying to get here without wasting too much time."
Daniella looks over at Steel. "If you'd have gone without speaking to me you would have failed. I'd like you to not fail in your task if that's alright with you, Mercenary.
"I know you probably won't understand this, but I have to leave once we're finished with this conversation, and until I return, you'll need to wait before starting your mission. If you fail, there is no coming back and trying again. I don't know that you realize exactly what it is that you're dealing with, but I do."
"Why do you think I'm in such a foul mood? I'm fairly certain I have a greater knowledge of the dangers of walking the planes than you do. I want to make sure I can get back, failure or success."
"Failure isn't an option, Mercenary. This portal that the Deepening Dark has opened is awakening an evil that no dragon or other force in Layonara can match. If you leave now, you won't be able to close it, no matter how skilled you think you are at such things. The only way to close it is to wait so that I can retrieve the tool you need to succeed."
"I'm listening."
"This creature that lies in the realm that is tied to the portal is not yet fully awakened, but if the portal is not closed, it will, and it will enter our plane. I have to go and retrieve an artifact that I will then entrust to you. I don't know exactly how it works, only that it will not work for you until you reach the rift, and then it should work once it comes in contact with the right kind of power. So the only real question I have of you is, will you wait until I return, or will I have to make sure that you remain here regardless?"
Steel looks skeptical. "Uh-huh. Not that I don't trust you, oh mighty and wise Champion, but where did you hear about this 'artifact', what is it, and what is its real purpose? If you even have the correct answers to those questions."
Daniella's expression is one of complete determination. "You may not have anyone that you answer to, but when I receive a message from Toran, I intend to see it through. I am going to retrieve the Light of Toran, and you will carry it to succeed in closing the rift."
He tilts his head to the side. "The Light... of Toran... What is that? I've heard of the Ankh of Toran."
She clasps her hands behind her. "All you need to know is that without it, you won't succeed."
"I kind of need to know how to use it, sweetheart, at the very least. Pits, I need to know if can use it to begin with, or if I need to bring a Toranite. Holy objects don't usually mix well with me."
She runs a hand through her hair. "If Toran has seen fit that you can use it, then you're simply going to have to learn a little faith, Mercenary. I know that's probably difficult for you. I could go myself, but I'm needed here. Can you accept a request from Toran?" She eyes him. "Or are you going to try to bargain with him as well?"
"I'm not receiving a request from Toran. I'm receiving a request from you. And I'm not even trying to bargain. I'm trying to be prepared so that I -we- succeed. I have no problem using a Toranite artifact if I have some reason to believe it might actually work. Artifacts are usually created with a very specific purpose in mind, or they come into being as a response to a certain need. What was the artifact used for originally?"
"I can't tell you that now."
"Because you don't know, or because you refuse?"
"Because I don't think it's wise to tell you until after you've succeeded."
He rubs his masked forehead. "So what am I supposed to do? Stand next to the hole in the Pit and wave it around?"
"It's possible. When you get there, it will work."
"Okay, now the real question... why are you holding back? Supposed wisdom aside, you know that nothing you would tell me can surprise or offend me."
"Because I don't trust you, Mercenary. You play with powers that are far beyond your ability. You think you are always in control, and in this case you are not. The less you know about this artifact's history the better for the time being. Know that it is supposed to be a torch, and if anyone asks you, you can simply say that it is such." She runs a hand over her face and then looks at him. "Every time that Toran has asked me to do something, there has always been someone or something that has done their best to see that it is not done. If enemies knew what it was that you will carry, they'll come after you, try to take it from you. The less you know the better."
He offers an amused snort. "I think I'm always in control, eh? No, no, no. My job is to remind you, the dragons, the gods, that no one is in control. Ability has nothing to do with it. Even the weakest baby can throw chaos into the best laid plans by the most careful deity. Moreover, how does me knowing whatever it is you're not telling me help enemies take it from me? I mean, I realize I'm not going to win this argument, that you have made up your mind and you're just not going to tell me, no matter how convincing I am, but I can always revel in making you regret that decision later." His tone is such that it almost seems there is a wicked grin burning from behind the expressionless mask.
"It keeps you from telling anyone else. Also, I'd prefer you didn't try to bargain it away for what you think would be a higher value. I'm asking you to save the world. I'd hate to think you might simply decide for profit instead. The matter is quite simple, Steel," she says, actually using his name for once. "You need to wait until I return. I'd like you to do so willingly. Then, after I've given you your tool for success, I need you to go and carry out the mission you have. Can you deal with the fate of the world resting in your hands?" She pauses. "If anything remains of the artifact after it is used, I would like it returned so that I can in turn put it back where I found it."
"My dear Champion. Are you trying to play toward my sense of honor, or sense of charity, or some other notion of nobility? Because I assure you I have none. The world's destruction is not at stake. Who rules this world, that is the question to be answered. Why do you fear whatever it is that awakens? Why would its rule be worse than what already is? Don't worry, I already agreed to close the portal, and I will. But unlike you, I can and will survive no matter who rules this world."
Her jaw sets. "She was right. You have no idea what is at stake."
His voice deepens, and though it drops in decibel, it seems to grow in volume. "I know exactly what's at stake! Even though you aren't telling me what you think is at stake."
Her voice raises angrily. "Do you? You talk of powers coming and going as if it were nothing, but I tell you right now that there are some powers that if let into this world they would ravage everything. Nothing would stand up to this creature. We have no defense against it except for the one that I am giving you. If you can't understand that much, then I will find some other person to entrust this task, or I will do it myself!"
"No. You won't do it. They won't let you." He moves directly in front of her, head tilted forward to see her. "This is a suicide mission. A real one. There are no stones in that Pit. What I've been asked is not hold the fate of the world in my hands, but to die for this world."
She frowns, her expression softening slightly. "With what I'm giving you, maybe you won't have to."
"Unlike you, I don't think that is a very noble thing. I don't intend to die. Which means that if I think something is about to kill me, like a holy torch about to explode with divine light, I'm ditching it. So you better be right. It better work as miraculously as you seem to think it will. Because if it doesn't, and we didn't come prepared with anything else, you're screwed."
"If a messenger from Toran tells me it will work, I believe it will."
"I'm preparing the same set of plans to close the hole without your artifact, but I'll wait until you have brought it to me before leaving."
"What are your plans?"
"Wouldn't you like to know? You stick to your artifact hunting. I'll take care of the Pit. I don't trust you anymore than you trust me, afterall." He points a finger at her chest for emphasis.
She glares at him. "Fine." Her expression is pained. "If you can't understand how important it is to stop this creature... just..." She shakes her head. "Just don't fail."
"No failure. No success. Only new opportunity. You don't even know what this 'creature' is. Your faith has blinded you to see only one path. And I am not a solider that blindly takes orders. I am, despite how much you may hate to admit it, your ally. Open your eyes and start examining all the data. Try to piece together the larger picture besides, 'creature bad, kill creature.' Paths may present themselves that do not require the 'noble' sacrifice of so many lives. Paths that involve using the enemy rather than butting your head against it."
"Blast it, Steel!" She runs her hands through her hair and then slams a fist on the table. "I don't want to hear about your idiology. There are some enemies with which you simply can't take that risk. If you're my ally, then why do you make it so blasted hard to trust you?"
"I suspect for the same reason it is hard for me to trust you. You are a solider that takes orders, whether from a general or a god. I don't trust any orders given unless I'm the one that gave them. You, on the other hand, have faith in the sincerity and inherent 'rightness' of your commander. The fact that I do not trust who you trust makes me suspect. So when you tell me to do something, I will question you, your motives, and the motives of your superiors. And when I question you, you will consider me as lacking in faith for not trusting your commands."
She walks up so that she is standing at her full height in front of Steel, which is still considerably shorter than him and looks up at him. "I am going to find this torch. If you are still here when I get back, I will give you the tool you need to successfully complete your mission. I can't tell you that you will certainly succeed with it. I can only tell you that without it you stand no chance of doing so. That is your choice, but I am leaving now."
"Don't go alone."
"I'm never alone." She steps past him and leaves the tent, letting the flap close behind her.
-
Daniella lay awake in the bed staring up at the stone walls and wood crossbeams. It had been two months since the fighting had finally come to an end, but the images still haunted her from battles recent and battles past. Trying not to disturb her partner, she turned slowly and sat up only to find a strong arm wrapping around her waist. She turned to look behind her to Jaedon's only half-awake face. "Shh, go back to sleep."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," she assured him. "I just can't sleep."
"You were having nightmares again," he said, not truly a question as he slowly pulled her back towards him.
"Yes and no. It's not just seeing those battles again, but just a feeling like I haven't finished things yet. I don't feel comfortable about how things were left off between you and Hilm, and in a way, I think that Lord Alexander feels like I abandoned and betrayed him for you." She laid her head on Jaedon's shoulder and traced her fingers over the line of one of the scars on his chest.
Jaedon sighed and stroked Daniella's hair with one hand. "So what you're telling me is that you're leaving soon."
"I think I have to."
"Let's discuss it in the morning. Get some sleep. I think Lord Alexander can wait that long." He lifted her chin so that he could see her eyes, and then he kissed her.
-
Her eyes opened in a panic and she looked beside her and checked to see if the infant was breathing. She was, the slow soft rhythm of a newborn's slumber. Daniella's heart stopped pounding as she settled back down next to her sleeping daughter. Abigaile was alright. She was safe; she was here. Daniella let her eyes adjust to the soft early morning light and looked around the room. Jaedon had fallen asleep in the chair again, the lines of worry etched in his face even in sleep. Daniella looked again at their infant daughter and brushed some of the downy soft brown hair from her face. Such a small thing that had caused so much pain and yet so much love. It had not been an easy labor.
She'd felt so restless that morning. Sleep had not come, and she found herself pacing slowly around her rooms, her mind filled with conflicted thoughts. Jaedon wanted her to stay, to marry him, to help him raise their child, to help him lead his people. He'd left early that morning to see to his soldiers, but it wasn't long before he returned. He seemed to wear a constant expression of concern, wonderment, and panic these days as he looked on Daniella and her overly swollen belly that carried their child. Time and time again she had tried to assure him that his son would be there soon, and that all would be well, but this time it was Daniella that worried. She worried about leaving Toran's active service. It wasn't something she even knew if she would be able to do. She had been chosen. She didn't want to put aside her duties, but as her child grew inside her, her feelings became more protective, more inward. Little did she know as she stood there expressing her nearly panicked conflict to Jaedon that the child would not wait much longer for her to make up her mind.
The labor had been slow and long, lasting throughout the day and then throughout the next night. It wasn't until the first morning light on the following day that the cries of the squalling infant could be heard echoing in the room and out in the hall where the exhausted and terrified father, Jaedon Siphe waited for news of his child and the woman he loved.
As Daniella held the child in her trembling arms, she felt an overwhelming love that she had never experienced. "You have a daughter, my lady." The words echoed in her mind as she held the baby. She was so tiny, so helpless. She smiled and whispered out her name "Abigaile."
But something was wrong. Daniella could feel her consciousness slipping from her and the room faded into darkness.
Softly in the darkness, she thought she could hear a man's voice calling to her, speaking with understanding. "You are released."
When Daniella awoke, Jaedon had been sitting in the chair next to the bed, asleep with Abigaile on his chest. One arm was draped protectively around the infant, while the other rested on Daniella's hand. He woke immediately as she stirred, then quickly tried to recover so as not to disturb the baby.
"Daniella? Are you alright? How do you feel?" His questions all came out quickly in a hushed whisper.
She took a breath and closed her eyes again assessing her own condition. She ached everywhere, and her body felt weak. "What happened?" she forced out.
Jaedon frowned with concern. "There were... complications, they said. It took them a lot of effort to staunch the bleeding after the child was born. They think you'll be alright now, but..." he frowned again. "We can discuss the rest when you're feeling better."
And they had discussed it. Daniella was unlikely to have more children according to the midwives. It was obvious that Jaedon was disappointed to some degree, for he'd not been given a son, he'd been given a daughter. But he kept those facial expressions to himself when he thought Daniella wasn't watching, and as the days passed, they too lessened.
It wasn't the only change. Daniella knew that the power that Toran had bestowed upon her had lessened. He had not cast her out, but he had accepted her choice, and with that choice came the consequence that her time of service and all that came with it, was over. Toran had released her to be a mother, and to be a woman with the man that she loved.
She looked again at her daughter- a daughter she never thought she wanted- and kissed her lightly on the forehead, pulling her to closer. She closed her eyes, and whispered into the dawn a quiet prayer of thanks.
-
The first year with Abigaile had gone by too quickly. Now her little girl was walking and starting to talk, and more and more, Daniella had started to feel the urge to return to the field. Jaedon was adamantly against the idea, but it was clear that the more he protested, the more he knew that it was inevitable. Neither of them could cease to be who they were. Daniella would hug her daughter, sing to her, and kiss her small hurts away with the power from Toran to heal them as any mother would, but she began to grow more and more distant with each new report from her men and women in the field. She was a leader, but she was not a ruler. The arguments between her and Jaedon grew more frequent about her role within their relationship and her role as one of Toran’s own. Raised voices were common in their section of the castle, but Daniella’s heart panged with guilt whenever their daughter was near during one of their spats.
“Jaedon, we can’t keep doing this to ourselves. It’s not fair to either of us, and it’s not fair to Abigaile,” she finally told him one morning.
Jaedon frowned. “You know my thoughts. Why do we have to go over this again? You simply keep fighting me.”
Daniella fought her instinct as she could feel the ire rising within her. “I’m not trying to fight,” she said as calmly as she could. “I’m trying to put a stop to the fighting. We need a solution.”
He looked at her, and then at his plate. He was silent for a few moments. She continued slowly, testing the waters. “I’ve been thinking about this a great deal. There’s simply something missing. I can’t keep hiding here and pretending that this feeling doesn’t exist.” She took a deep breath. I’ve been here with you now for two years, but I just keep feeling like my time is up. It’s like…” she pursed her lips in thought. “It’s like the air keeps being taken from my lungs. The longer I stay, the harder it is to breathe.”
He didn’t look up. “So that’s it then? You said you would be my wife, and yet you’re going to leave? What about our daughter?”
It was Daniella’s turn to look at her plate.
“Daniella, she needs a mother.”
“I know,” she whispered quietly.
Jaedon pushed his chair away from the table and walked away without another word. Daniella looked at her plate, feeling the emptiness of the room and the blossoming ache in her chest. It wasn’t that she didn’t love Jaedon Siphe. She did. The life he promised her was one that would be a welcome challenge, and it was one where they could be a family with their daughter. But it wasn’t her. There was an emptiness in her being and the distance she felt from her god was palpable in this place.
-
It had been many months since she had made that final decision and left the Siphe Principality. The yearning for Toran had become unbearable, and she knew it was the only thing left to do. But leaving her daughter had been one of the hardest things she ever had thought she would never have to do. More than once she had considered turning around and going back to them. Once she had even started to, but deep inside she knew there was more that she still had yet to do. Her duty wasn't finished, and she had an oath that she still had to uphold.
At first, when she reached her old home in Trelania, the place seemed foreign. It was like stepping back into a former life, or perhaps awakening from a long dream. In this house there was no sign of motherhood. The little dresses and toys that she had grown accustomed to with Abigaile weren't simply gone, they had never existed there in the first place. Here was a home that had been designed for the lives of soldiers. It was clean, and well-organized, and perhaps fit for a different sort of family, but not for children. Swords and shields remained polished and at ready, and showed plenty of signs of use.
As Daniella ventured up to her own apartment within her house, there were other things that sparked memories from times past. A well-worn letter and old, dried flowers from Aeronn Kirath, and the many books, letters, and other things that had once belonged to Chaynce Baldu'muur. The weight of all of the love lost dropped down on her like a lead blanket, and for some time, she did not leave the house or even her apartment. The lights remained out, and the ache in her heart swelled to fill and surround her like a thick fog.
She wasn't certain how long she had existed like that when she was startled out of her haze by a soft giggle and the sound of things being thrown against the front of her house. Crack. Crack. Crack. She rubbed her eyes and pushed her hair out of her face and looked out the window down at the ground below.
Alton. He had apparently resumed his semi-regular assault on her house with a whole basket of eggs.
Daniella stood in the window for some time, simply watching him. Her expression remained distant as she watched her dead lover's best friend deface her house. Some things never do seem to change. Even after Alton ran out of eggs, Daniella watched out the window until he had gone. Then she sighed. At last, she pulled on a fresh set of clothes and tied her hair back. The eggs would need to be cleaned before they started to smell.
She spent the rest of the day cleaning those eggs from her house. And with each motion, she felt a tear fall down across her cheek for each pain. And with each tear, she said a prayer asking for forgiveness, asking for guidance, asking for a purpose, and asking for help to find her true path once more.
When she finally stood back and looked at her work, she realized that some of her dark cloud felt lifted. She took a deep breath and vowed that it was time to go back to work for real. She knew in time she would have the answers from Toran that she needed, but in the meantime, she would put herself to work. She didn't know if it would help lift her own dark cloud, but perhaps if she could lift the burdens of others, for now it would take her mind off of her own.
-
Well, at least now she had a word for how she had been feeling. Guilt. Guilt for losing her focus. Guilt for leaving her daughter- for abandoning her. She stayed awake many nights wondering if those that she had let down would be able to forgive her. She wondered if Toran would be willing to take her back to set her feet back on her previous path. Tired of staring at the ceiling above her bed, she walked in bare feet down the hall to her own private shrine to the Great Leader and pray for guidance.
It had been a long time since she had seen Brandon Steele. She knew him before she was a Champion, before she was the Chosen One, the Champion of Toran's Divine Will and every other title she had become known by. When she was just Daniella Stormhaven, a paladin in Toran's service. And even though the years had gone by, he still was able to help her simplify the issue at hand.
So with the guidance sent from Toran by means of one of his priests, Daniella began writing letters each night to the daughter that she hoped one day would forgive her for her choice.
-
Dear Daughter,
I know that you're too young to really understand this yet, but I hope that some day you will. I suppose I should tell you a little bit about me, and then maybe things will make a bit more sense to you in time.
I don't know that your father will really raise you with any sort of devotion to any god. I know that with his history, and I'm not sure how much he will have told you, he is very hesitant to ever offer his allegiance to anyone ever again. That being said, I do hope that you'll still be able to learn a bit about Toran from those that are still around you and the shrine that was built.
It's sort of hard to describe who I am because it goes back so far and it is so deep. I started training as a paladin as early as I was able. It was simply always what I thought I was going to do. It was my calling, and my life. So when I was still a fairly young woman and Toran called me to be his Champion, it didn't fully occur to me what I would give up in order to do that. And while there were opportunities that were lost along the way for a different kind of life, I felt fulfilled. I had two mortal men that I loved before your father. Both of them were lost forever. The second stood by me as I walked down the path for Toran even though it always led me away from him. He was patient enough and steadfast enough to make the sacrifice to come in second, always. He died heroically defending Hilm from Molvaren's armies as they marched upon the fortress. I think when that happened it was the first time my heart felt shattered. All I had was my faith and my work, and while I focused on that, there was something else that existed as well, but it wasn't until recently that I realized what it was.
When I first met your father, we were enemies on the battlefield. I was defending the dwarven fortress that existed before Fieroz City. It was then known as the Fort of Last Hope. At times, during the onslaughts and bloodshed throughout that long battle of attrition I heard some people whisper as they began to lose heart that a better name would have been the Fort of Lost Hope. I knew that we were simply holding the armies at bay to give the rest of our forces in Hilm more time, but that didn't make the lives of those who fought so bravely and died so cruelly any less important.
I met your father during a brief time of ceased aggressions. We discussed a few things about the battle, and we both knew that my forces would not be able to hold out against his for much longer. But I could also see that he wasn't pleased with his position, or those around him. Your father had an honor about him that I had not previously thought could be attributed to someone aligned with Molvaren, let alone his General. Your father gave us information that let us destroy a device that was going to starve us out by ruining our food supplies. He also showed his honor by ceasing his aggressions every sundown to allow our troops to rest before returning to the war at dawn. I do believe that had he been able, he would have stopped the advance, but as long as his allegiance was given to Molvaren with no way of escaping, he also was trapped. And so we continued the dance of war until we were able to find a way out. With shared information, my troops were able to escape the castle before the dragon Ractrafieroz, your city's namesake, destroyed the fort completely. But as Molvaren's Drach Ori raided the castle and took it after our departure, your father's then Drach Garra that were loyal to him remained at a safe distance, so that only Molvaren's minions were killed by the dragon.
After that, your father seceeded from Molvaren's rule and claimed the land he now owns from his victory over both my forces as well as Molvaren's. Not everyone, was pleased with him. In fact, no one really was pleased with him.
At the time, I seemed to be the only one in a position to negotiate between your father and the Hilm Protectorate, whose land had been usurped. I put a lot on the line in order to help your father create what he has now. I still believe that his position where he is is valuable to the stability of Belinara. And I found that while working with him, I was given something else to work on to distract me from a broken heart and the other negative feelings that I continued to hide from myself.
I told myself what I wanted to hear. I told myself that I was doing Toran's work, and that establishing a firm foundation for Him within the Siphe Principality would improve relations with the Hilm Protectorate, and shift the balance to our favor in relation to the descisions that would be made by the Horn Kingdom and Nesar Kingdom when it came to defending against the plague that is Molvaren's lands in Kuhl. Perhaps I was doing Toran's work. Perhaps I was right and those things would help Belinara.
But I now realize that I was also hiding. I was seeking an escape from things that had built for so long that I didn't even know how to deal with them because I had ignored them and didn't even realize that they were there.
I am guilty.
As a Toranite, and especially as a paladin or champion of Toran, my word is my bond. And yet, I've broken promises. Before I was chosen as Toran's champion, I promised to marry a man- the man I wrote of earlier. But as a champion, there could be no one else who came before my devotion to Toran. And so I was not able to marry him. I broke my promise to him. We stayed together for so many years until his death, but as I said, my life's path was not what he had wanted. And I was so devoted and so full and so busy, I rarely sat back and considered what my decision had done to him. I should have considered everything that he had to give up because of his devotion to me while my devotion was never fully returned.
After his death, and my work side by side with your father, I know now that I had already started to lose my way. I ached in a way that I didn't know how to deal with, and instead of dealing with the loss and guilt and anger over losing someone that I did truly love, I poured myself into another project, and found that the kinship I had with Jaedon filled some of the ache and took some of the pain away. Many people tried to warn me, but I didn't listen. I thought they simply didn't see what I saw in your father, and I sought to defend him. Perhaps they weren't trying to save me from him, but from myself.
When I became pregnant with you, I started to wonder if I truly could retire and stay in Fieroz City and just be your mother and just defend one city, one Principality, instead of the whole world. And the first time I held you in my arms I knew that my heart was yours. For a long time, there wasn't any room for anyone else. You needed me, and in many ways, I needed you. And at that time, though my faith in Toran has never waivered, I know that Toran released me to be your mother instead of His Champion.
And so, again, I broke a vow that I never intended to break.
I thought that I could stay with Jaedon and become his partner and your mother and that would be enough. But I wasn't myself anymore. I'd lost who I was due to grief, and guilt, and even love.
The thing is, I didn't leave because you aren't enough for me. I left because I think I can be better to you by trying to find my path again. If I stayed behind, even though I love you so much, I would never be the person that I was called to be. Leaving you was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life. But I need you to be safe, and the best way I know to do that is to be out here doing my job. And in order to do my job, I need to find my focus again. I need to move forward without a mortal man to distract me from the guilt that I've built up over the years for so many soldiers lost under my command, for everyone that I haven't been able to save, for leaving you and your father.
I do still love him, Abigaile, and I will always love you, but I made a vow to Toran a long time ago, and that's where I'll be able to find myself again.
You're still so little, and I know it may be years before you even receive this, but I will try to always be there for you should you need me. I have not abandoned you.
My love always, and may Toran's Light always guide you as it has me,
Your mother
-
Once again, it seems Toran has sent a priest to challenge my previous way of thinking, perhaps in an attempt to guide me again. I've said that I want to find myself, and yet, I'm still lost. I'm still searching for the old path, and maybe I need to find a new one. Brother Brandon suggests that instead of denying myself and my daughter, to find my way back to my purpose without leaving her completely. It almost seems like it sounds to simple. To do my duty for Toran, but still be a mother to my daughter so that I can teach her as a leader and an example. And he has a point. If I leave her completely, what does that teach her of Toran who has never left me? I know that I won't be able to be there all of the time, but I can try to be there when she needs me.
The more I pray about this, the more my heart seems more at peace. Toran has many to look after, to guide, and to protect, and yet I know that throughout my life He has been there when I needed Him. I'm not Toran, but I can take a lesson from Him. So, my bags are packed and I'm headed back to Belinara, to brave whatever wrath Jaedon may have for me, and to try to see Abigaile and hope she hasn't forgotten me.
And even though I'm sure that there is someone there that could teach my daughter of Toran, I will teach her what I know.
-
I received word of the many tremors and earthquakes that seem to have been rocking various parts of the world. I then received further reports of an adventuring band gathering to investigate a cause, and what seemed like something in relation to the Five and the Hall of Seven that I've been researching along with a few others in the Toran Archives. So far, we have found nothing, but it seems that I am best used in the field than in a library.
When I stepped closer to the group gathered in Center, it was difficult to gauge the feelings or determinations of those gathered, and in fact it seemed as though many people, perhaps even myself, did not understand at all what it was we were going out to try to accomplish. The little well-versed, but often long-winded halfling of Lucinda, Acacea, never seems very forthcoming with information that isn't soaked in anything but rambling, and thus it's hard to just get a simple answer from her regarding anything.
There was evil among us as well. I could sense it around me and in them, but while I could sense it there, they seemed to be serving, at least on the surface, the greater purpose. These were not my troops. They were disorganized, unruly, and chaotic, but they were trying for the most part to work together.
As we delved deeper into the unknown, though, it became more and more evident that there was no leader to this rabble, and without one, we could easily become hopelessly lost in the realm of the darkness.
Troops or not troops, Toranites or not Toranites, I couldn't bear to stand in the background any longer and simply let them get lost. If deeper was where we needed to go, then deeper we would go until we found where we needed to go, and hopefully we would discover this legendary Hall of the Seven.
It came back to me easier than I had thought it would, raising my voice loud enough that they could hear me. There was a path, and I would go. I asked who would follow me, and to my surprise.... everyone eventually followed. Even those who prefered to mock Toran or mock the faith in Him seemed to at least understand that we needed a direction. And so I served. Toran was our light in the darkness, at least to me, though on the events of late, He has seemed silent. The gods involved in these happenings do not usually concern Him overmuch.
Deeper we went until we did in fact reach our destination. It felt strange to be leading those such as a dark elf who in the Deep no longer bothered to hide his true physical nature, and the notable assassin G'ork. But my job was not to wage a war against them. Not that day. Not when they were actually helping. The Hall of the Seven was indeed a hall with stones depicting each of the gods that are in the moved constellations. And there was a divine presence not of Toran, but increasingly strong. It had a feeling almost of a consecrated temple, and yet it was not, and while I felt the need to stop and pray before entering the domain, it was not a temple after all. There were depictions and statues that told a story of sorts. Most of them had been well preserved even after all this time, though some had fared better than others. Five races. Human, Elf, Halfling, Dwarf, and Gnome.
Beyond the outer chamber was another room and inside that, the presence of the Divine grew stronger with each step. In the center of the room was a crystal that glowed with power. I'll never know why whenever there is a stone that glows with power, there will always be fools that wish to touch it. And even after people are thrown across the room for doing so, someone will always continue to make the attempt.
Some of them succeeded, some of them did not. The dark elf apparently died somehow, and yet...
Now I wonder ater having stood in a room that was dedicated, to my own feeling, to seven gods where only one of them is even thought of friendly by Toran, what is my purpose in this? And so I pray nightly to know what is it that I am supposed to do for Toran in these recent events. I cannot seem to stop people from disappearing. I cannot stop them from returning again and meeting a horrible end such as what is being called the Liquid Death. Am I simply to be the leader to weild a torch through the darkness of the Deep so that they may leave once again in safety, or does Toran have something else in mind? Until then, I will continue to simply do what I can. I suppose that is all any of us can do in anything.