The World of Layonara
Character Development => Development Journals and Discussion => Topic started by: scifibarbie on May 18, 2009, 12:09:11 PM
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*scribbled on random pieces of paper. Stuffed together loosely with no discernible pattern and tied together with a piece of old leather string.
Lost....All I see are random images in the mist. Its like wandering in the forest in the morning when the fog hasnt yet been burned away.
Everything is obscured...I hear the howls of the wolves...the shadow of a bear...
What does it all mean?
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I strayed to close to a small town today. Nobody looked twice at me and I have to say I am glad for that.
A young woman tried to speak me for a little while at hte well. It was pleasant enough until she asked me my name.
I...I couldnt answer her. She looked at me as if I were an idiot. When I told her i didnt know she said I should see a priest. They might be able to help me.
She led me to a small temple. She said it was to a god called aeridin. For some reason it made my skin itch unpleasantly and I felt really angry. I ran then leaving her standing by the church alone.
I ran for the forest..the solitude of it. The woods bring me comfort, especially the squirrels. I can understand their rapid chittering so easily. Its strange, and yet they seem to understand me too.
I love giving them nuts to fill their cheeks and go hide for the coming cold. That and the way their bushy tails bounce when they run and climb and play.
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The great she-wolf found me. SHe has helped nurse me back to health. Ive found this bit of parchment and a letter or two that were left in a pouch I had.
Its so hard to focus...I try to read them and my eyes get all blurry and watery. Its as if i am not ready for what they say which is very strange.
The wolves call me the fire mane. I didnt get it...I saw my reflection in the still waters and my hair is definitely not a fire color. I guess they wolves dont have a name ot describe it.
It took me a long time to clean the stench of the...of the ground from my clothes. I dont like the smell they had. It made me very sick to my stomach, even the other cubs didnt want to be near me when the stuff came out of me. My mouth burned and my eyes watered. I do not want to feel that again.
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The great beast is hunting me in my dreams again. I see its form out of the corner of my eyes. I think its a bear...it has teh shape of one. Its snuffling around as if its hunting me.
I can never get close to it. Or maybe I am trying to avoid it. Its very scary.
I found a trap recently. Like a hunter was laying it to snare me.
And then the wolves cry. Its a sad howling, as if for a packmate that is lost. Sometimes I see the mist part when the wolf howls and there is shadow of a great wolf in the distance. I try to run to him but he always stays ahead of me. Maybe hes trying ot lead me somewhere.
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I think I should try to pen down some of my thoughts...It might help me piece things together. Everythings all scrambled in my head.
Im not sure how it will work..all i have is a few pieces of charcoal and some rough parchment i found in my bag.
I remember waking to darkness. Something smells wrong. Then fear...overwhelming fear. A flash of light...earth everywhere...climbing, climbing up...out..
*the writing is scribbled over in the chalk as if covering it will keep it away, like its all wrong.
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I met a woman today on the edge of a great lake. I was hunting for dinner. Her companions seemed nice enough and there were only a couple of them. I dont like crowds right now.
She says she knew me. She was pretty beat up when i met her. ANd her questions kept going in circles..I think she is quite mad. Like she took a rock to the head or something.
She kept calling me abi. Like she thought it was my name. At first I felt..Im not sure how i felt. I felt sad about her though because she called another person there abi also. Definitely had a few boulders shaken loose in her skull.
I tried to comfort her and get her to go see a priest. But she just kept following me. Her friends suggested we travel together to another land. Perhaps their friends could get help there.
Next thing i know im waking up in a field staring at the sky. the crazy person...drexia i think they said her name was. She was standing by a small stream nearby. Its very unnerving waking up next to a crazy person when you dont know how you got there!
Her friends soon appeared between a small stand of rocks. Appearing out of the air! They suggested a nice stroll to let the fresh air clear drexias mind. She seemed reluctant to let me go so i have agreed to travel with them for her sake.
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A soft rain fell today and the forest smells so alive! Its been a long journey but i feel so refreshed.
The dreams have not been so bad of late. That or I just dont remember them. Either way is fine by me.
There was a thunderstorm a few days ago. I cant believe how scared i was when the thunder and lightning were flashing and booming all around me!
Next thing i remember was being curled up in a ball in the hollow of a small tree with a squirrel chittering excitedly in my ear. He was pretty upset with me. Apparently i had been screaming in terror all nite during the storm and I upset her family even more than the storm.
I dont remember much of it at all. I felt horrible for the squirrels though and gave them some nuts i found. I hope that makes them feel better.
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I met a nice fellow in the woods today. He said he was a ranger and was jsut passing thru the forest on his way north.
We chatted for a little bit and shared a lunch of berries and fish. His company was nice.
He didnt ask why I was there, though i think the chipmunks playing around in my bags let him realize i wasnt a threat or up to no good there.
I somehow seemed ot know abit about fishing. It was strange, since I dont think i have talked to anyone about that. Maybe things are starting ot come back to me.
When he left....when he left..he said the strangest thing...it was very comforting oddly enough. May the Longstrider keep you safe on your path. Or something like that. Longstrider...that name brings me comfort somehow.
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We found some dwarfen ruins atop the mountain. The spikes i think the other abi refered to them as. We decided to explore them abit and see what was what with them.
I felt somehow happy to be in those halls, even though they were a ruin. I was tempted to chastise our companions for the way they treated Drexia. Apparently they felt the best way for her to regain her wits was to pummel stuff.
Shes very good at it! We are about to delve deeper into the ruins. Time to go.
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The druids of this forest have been kind ot me. Whitehorn I think they called their forest.
It seems very familiar to me. How i got hear I have no idea. But wandering the paths of these woods is soothing.
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I met a dwarf today....she said her name was argali. She smelled familiar. I am hoping this means I had known her in the past. Another part of my puzzle seems to have been found.She called me abi also.
I chanced upon a group of people who at about the time i met them were arguing about the amount of treasure to be earned since they were doing all the legwork. Very strange.
Stranger still..a few people in that group seemed to know me. Or at least think they knew me. I introduced myself as abigail..I may as well..it seems the right name now. It feels right.
So many questions..i was glad to be moving where they couldnt ask them so easily! I was so uncomfortable because i had no answers to give. Some of the scents i recognized. Many I did not. It was all very overwhelming to me!
Well..in the end ther was no treasure to be had...just darkness..a bright light...
Well..in the end there was no treasure but an odd fellow who seemed to be our exalted leader, sall was his name (i think it was all his bad jokes), said we happened upon the leftovers of some creature called a batalini or something like that. I guess it eats raw minerals. It especially likes the mithril variety, a very rare ore. All that was left was slag in the golem makers lab.
I seemed to recognize his smell too, though it wrinkled my nose abit. A few more parts to the puzzle. A woman named Sala and her mate Jako. They seemed nice enough. And a man named caer, another orc basher.
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Im so tired...the wolves have brought me meat and there is a small stream of freshwater nearby.
They say Im a long lost pack mate. They thought I had returned to the great forest. My return is strange to them, i smell different, but not wrong.
The cubs are a joy to me. It makes me feel bittersweet somehow when i see them with their mothers.
Still...their energy is catching and as i play with them it seems to be helping me heal. My legs feel stronger everyday. Soon I will be able to hunt with the pack again.
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What is an Orc Basher?
I met 2 dwarf brothers recently...Durgin and Kurgin Stormbrow. the scent of kurgin brought memories of a childhood im sure was mine.
I remember...getting into trouble. Lots of trouble...something about getting into things i shouldnt. I spoke dwarfen also...it felt so easy. As if I had been speaking it all my life. :\\ It was very strange, but very comforting.
Miss drexi introduced me to the brothers. She apparently has this strange fixation upon me and sought me out in the forest. She seemed better though, not quite so addled.
We traveled thru the forest for awhile and then she led to a forest called the sielwood. Its a large forest so full of life. It seemed familiar to me also. We passed near a lake and I...I dont know. Happy feelings washed over me.
It was a good time traveling with those 2 brothers. Solid in the fight, but funny as only those 2 dwarfen brothers could be. I was happy there, even in the midst of nasty spiders! I was sad to leave their company but they had business elsewhere and i needed rest.
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Climbing hand over hand, climbing thru the mud, lightning flashing and thunder booming so loud my head feels like its going to explode!
There are bodies around me. A giant of a man and his wife. I catch teh scent of them. Its the musty scent of the dead, but tinged with something familar. His armor gleams even covered in dirt and in the darkness of the storm. The bones of the other are distorted and jumbled in the mess. A tree is almost torn from its roots above me. ANother flash...
The nightmare again. I woke up all sweaty adn crying. I had startled my pack mates and blackpaw came over to comfort me. She has been such a good friend to me throughout all of this. I love her so much.
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The Bear. The bear in my dreams..the one that was always so close..and yet such a distant shadow.
I found the bear...or it found me.
I..I think I found him. Or he found me...Im still fuzzy on the whole thing. But this is the bear. Im sure of it. The scent is right. Always trust my nose...He feels right to. I feel safe with him near. Berak is his name. :)
Still the haze lingers over me, making me doubt many things. So much is still lost in the fog. I walk many paths that are so familiar to me and yet completely new at the same time. Smells so familiar, yet names and faces still lost.
Time...everyone says it will take time. I hate time. :mad:
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I saw abi#1 today again..unfortunately i was invisible. For a second i forgot and when i tried to say HI they thought i was a ghost. Acacea was there too.
ANyways, they nearly zapped me i guess, and then i freaked out for a moment thinking i really might be a ghost. Falling on my rear made me realize i wasnt a ghost thank goodness!
Then i set my hands on fire remembering i had a stone to get rid of magic stuff on me and i panicked and jumped into a stream! It was quite humorous to them...well..i guess i can see why.
At least im remembering better now.
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I have finally returned to the Orc Bashers.
Im not sure what to thik or feel, but of the 4 i have met so far. My senses tell me things are okay with them.
I knocked on the door and a dwarf (not kurgin) adn human met me. They didnt really say anything (which im finding rather uncomfortable the more and more it happens, but what can you expect when everyone thought you were dead).
The dwarf started interrogating me immediate.y after i told him my name. He started askingabout this and that, adn if i had sme certain items on me and whatnot. THe Other fellow just kinda stood there slack jawed and staring..I think that was the most unnerving bit..then he started doing some hocus pocus thingy to me which really made me nervous. I guess he wanted to see if i was a dedder or not.
After awhile, we talked and talked and they tried to jog my memory, they told me about the bashers, they told me i have a dwarvish uncle (gods i hope i dont grow a beard), and other things about the guild, and tehn..they told me my father was gone. LIke gone gone, like i was supposed to be. Im not sure how i felt...i felt numb, almost emotionless. I dont know why...
They showed me to a room they said was mine, had been mine and still was. That I was welcome there if i wanted to be. I didnt recognize any of it. I think iwas frustrating them. I mean, how do they think i must feel!
They got me talking about stuff, about how i ended up back here, who ive met, the places ive been. I just told them of the places ive been since ive returned. The people ive seen and met.
The stupid dwarf still hasnt told me his name though. Said it would be good for me to remember on my own. :\\ :mad:
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I hate this..everyone who ever knew me and i cant remember them. My nose tells me if i knew them, and if they were dangerous or not. MOstly its served me well, except for the one time. But i guess hes changed alot over the time ive been gone. We all change I guess...even me, though im not sure if i have or not. I keep dreaming im gonna wake up and look like a mummy.
Ive been having those dreams again. The storm, the lightning and rain. The shadows...
It makes it difficult to sleep.
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I met a nice enough fellow today. Though i must admit my nose wrinkles whenever i get a whiff of him. Czukay..i think he said his name was. He likes to pray to a creepy skull that glows.
He is the first person ive met who enjoys grubs as much as i do. So his creepy scent aside, i guess he must be alright.
I also met wren. A nice enough fellow, but really emotional. He saw me and after i told him my name immediately grabbed me and started hugging the wind from me! He said he knew me, but as with most of the people i may have known, had no recollection of him aside from his smell. I swear he started crying, not sad tears, but happy tears and he woudlnt let go until i nearly passed out!
He then started chattering about me, and trying to help me remember by telling me tales of stuff that i had done. I felt bad for the guy cause he was obviously happy to see me, but all i could do was give him the blank look.
the other guy named steele didnt say a word, but just looked at me kinda weird. I knew his smell too but at least he didnt go all bear huggy on me. He just kinda stood there all quiet like.
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I've been wandering alone alot lately. Following my nose to places that seem to call to me. Or at least, rekindle shrouds of memories i cant recall. I just know when im in a place that im familiar with or have been before..i know it. I know what to look for, the local dangers...its so odd to me. Like experiencing something old for the first time. :\\
SOmetimes it just gives me a headache. :mad:
Some elvish woman named Darthi i met at the bashers the other day said i was repressing some old memory of pain or something and that i need to resolve that so that the fog my clear from my head. :\\
I almost feel content enough to jsut wander right now.
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The woman in the village...she knew me. She said we were friends once, long ago when we were children.
She looked so old when i saw her, like the years hadnt been kind. But her eyes were kind and i trusted in that at least.
Blackpaw told me to go to this place, that it was from my past adn would help me heal. I trust her wisdom and did as she asked. Its all so familiar, yet so far away. :\\
Sally...her name was sally she told me. The best of friends when we were little. She told me how i was brought back to this place when everyone thought i had died. I was buried here...she tried to take me to that place...then everything went black. :mad: :o
All i remember is waking up near a small lake at dusk. O.o
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I had the dream again...well..it was different this time. The fog is still there, i still see the shadows.
Some are more visible now than the others...maybe because i have found them again..though they are still foggy. I at least know who they are now, though their past still hides in the fog. :\\
I saw blackpaw...she was trying to get me to follow her deeper into the mist. Trying to lead me someplace i know i i need to go, but im afraid.
Then i see it...it reaches towards me and... :o
I wake up. :(
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Spiders, spiders and more spiders.
Gods it seems im destined to be a spider smasher. Wherever i go, there they are.
I really dont like spiders. They hiss with this nasty blood curlding sound and when you see their vicitms all wrapped in cocoons and have dessicated cause theyve been made dinner. It just makes me shudder.
I really really dont like spiders. :mad:
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I was invited to the big celebration to open the new school of magic. It sounded so exciting. It was supposed to be a costume ball. I heard it was really really a great time.
I wish i had gone...well...no. Im glad i didnt.
Too many people, too much noise. I tried to go. But when i saw the whole morass of people and then all the noise..i jsut kinda freaked out i guess. I couldnt deal with it.
I think especially since i was sure i would get cornered by people who may have known me before, but i wouldnt know now. It makes things so hard sometimes. I swear, Im beginning to become afraid of people. :(
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Its been nice working with my hands again. I remember when or who taught me...but working with the wood again feels good.
It bends naturally in my hands nad lets me shape it to what is needed. Its good to have a purpose.
Something odd happened yesterday too. Some guy named Ido or Fido or something...Ido I think it was. He needed me to help him fix his bow after he cracked the shaft. It wasnt damaged as badly as he thought and i repaired it easily.
I just poured some resin into the cracks and heated it up to create a strong seal, sanded it down a little and poof. There it was, good as knew.
He kinda freaked out on me though, as I had to use a small knife on me and got it to burst into flames and cold to help seal and set the resin. He went all crazy on me and wanted to know how i did that. He said he only knew of one person who was ever able to do that.
I told him I didnt really know how, I just knew and did it. Its not like something you could read out of a book and do like a spell or something. Well...he started asking me all sorts of different questions about it, nad it was really frustrating for me, because i would love to be able to help him but my memory is still foggy about certain things like that. I told to him to talk to my friend Berak, since bear has told me alot about what I used to be like in the past. Maybe this will help us both. :\
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Well....the carnival was fun. Dancers, scary clowns, fun and games and the most disgusting eating contest Ive ever been a part of!
Mr Lance won that! He must have a dragons stomach or something...well...I actually dont think a dragon would have eaten the stuff that was put down in front of us! :o
I held out till the end, but that pudding made from puddings did me in! I beat out that half orc or giant or whatever he was. But i lost it when the stuff was all jiggly and moving in my stomach! I swear I am having to replace my leathers after that ordeal. Still cant get the smell out! IT took me and Mr Lance a week to get over being sick from that. O.o
In the end, it was a good time. At least until miss argali was being pickpocketed by a werecat! She caught him and put it to the ground easy enough. It was acting strange, and turns out it was stealing shinies and coins to bribe the guards to let it escape.
It wasnt a threat in the end, it just wanted to be free. I really understadn its feelings there. I was tempted to try and sneak back into the camp later on and let him go. He wasnt a threat to anyone. He would have headed for the forest and disappeared. Some stupid jerk kept trying ot have him killed because his god demanded it. Aeridin or something...i dont know why, but I really really didnt like that god. :mad: And not just because he was trying to execute an innocent creature.
In the end, i was too sick to try and get back to the camp and i think the smell on my clothes would have alerted the guards. At least the animals there werent being treated to badly. Maybe at some point i can track down the carnival and let the were free.
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Darkness...its all around me. Its oppressive, theres no wind in some these places, and something is always just out of sight round the corner.
Im glad Im not alone...hte group seems to be upbeat enough, the dwarf and vrebs and trally are having a ball. Mining is their thing i guess.
We've been down here for a about a week and I cant wait to get tot he fresh air again!
Mr Wren is at least making jokes and keeping our spirits up! :)
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*the ink and paper are heavily tear stained and the paper has been crumpled several times and reflattened.
Last night was so hard. I cried my eyes out and even my friends the squirrels couldn't console me.
Ever since Ive been back, Bear has been so kind to me. Asking for nothing from me and being so patient with all my problems. I feel so much for him, but in the end I had to let him go.
I care for him so much, I've always felt it deep inside of me, but I dont know why. And i think that is the most troubling part of this. I dont know who I am, or who he is beyond my return from the....from wherever it was i was.
I care for him so much and i know i would give up everything for him if i had the chance. Is this what it means to be in love? How can i love someone i barely know? I am just so confused...what was it about him that attracted me to him in the first place? How did we meet? What were we like? Was I a different person than the one i am now? Maybe hes hoping I'll become the same person I was when he first met me. What if i dont? :o :(
I dont know what to do. But giving him his ring back, seemed the best thing to do at the time. I cant bear the thought of him wasting his life on me when i dont even know who I am. How can I be the person he needs me to be when I dont even know who I am?
Someone once told me the xeenites are the ones to talk to about these things...maybe i should go there and ask.
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Went out with mr sall again. That was quite the adventure let me say! Whenever i end up travelling with him strange things always seem to happen!
Lord Reaver, i wonder where he got that title from. He obviously was trying to keep a low profile when i saw him in hurm. Which is really funny, cause hes always into something since ive been back. O.o
Well...we had to oust some pirates, which was realyl tough. Seems they had a squid head keeping them in line. Well, we wiped em out and had a rough time of it too! Mr Ark (his second mate-wait till miss tegan hears about that!) kept whining about using up his special scrolls, and put his name on one to be sure to use it on him. Which it was..i think...thngs were kinda nuts at that point and he didnt look so hot for awhile. At least he got us free beer while on the ship. :D
Well, we also were supposed to try and save a poor girl who had been kidnapped for a ransom or blackmail or something..unfortunately we were able to get to her in time. They fed her to some wild boars...she was an awful mess when we found her. :( Mr Sall took it really hard, he tried to revive her but he couldnt..so in the end we returned her to her family.
I felt really bad for mr sall. He tried really hard to save her. Maybe i shoudl bake hima pie or something to try and cheer him up. :\
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Gods my hands are sore! Ive been making arrows and bolts left and right for the mistone army. Master belis idea on helping them get ready for a war with some cult. Im good be the finest arrow maker on mistone by the time im done i bet! :rolleyes:
I dont know much about them, but i know they arent good. He told us they had been spotted coming out of the swamps south of hempy and to be careful.
Maybe I should head out and try to see if i can track any of them down. From the sounds of it they are being pretty good about covering their tracks. But maybe i can smell em out. Its worth a try anyway. :\
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Well...Im still really confused about what to do with bear. It hurts my heart that i had to do what i did. But i think its for the best. But best for who? Him or me...im too much in my own head i think. :(
Sometimes maybe i should just follow my nose more. ;)
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I think ive come to decision. I cant stand being without bear. I dont know why but i really miss him alot. More than i care to admit to myself right now.
I left him cause i felt i didnt know why he loved me and cared for me so much and i didnt know why i felt for him so much. I still dont, i just know i do.
I think bear wont mind. I think i want to start over with him. Maybe try and relearn why we feel so much for each other.
I hope he says yes.
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I was wandering around the woods the other day and stopped to take a nap under a tree.
When I woke up miss ferrit was standing nearby with some strange guy. I thought I would stop and say hello and see how she was doing. Turns out the guy she was talking to was her husband...and my old teacher, the one who taught me to use my mothers sword. Kyle Pandorn was his name.
Its always uncomfortable when i meet someone who was that close to me and not even be able to recognize them aside from their smell. I feel horrible that I cant remember anything about them, and that they know so much about me. :\\
He was rally nice, although miss ferrit had to shut his mouth for him a couple times because he was hanging all slack jawed and stuff. It was kinda funny actually, just seeing it i mean.
They asked me to help them go for some platty in the troll mine, so i did. Mr Kyle wanted to see if i still remembered any of my old lessons on how to fight while we were there too. O.o
I guess I did alright cause he seemed to smile and said some nice things to me after we go done turning the trolls to goo. He even got back into teacher mode and started correcting me on a few things! That was weird, mainly because i dont ever remember anyone teaching me anything at all, but it was nice actually. :)
Miss Ferrit was jsut smiling and giggling at Mr Kyle. Something about him never stopping being the teacher or something. I guess hes a weapon master or something like that. Whatever that means, probably that hes a teacher of course! :D
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I miss my bear. :(
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*The loose pages of her journal are all covered in a light coat of salt and have become a bit tattered and brittle as the seawater has gotten more thana few pages wet...
Well...this is fun. Im glad i finally got my sea legs. I was soo tired of hurling over the side of the prow with every wave! O.o
Weve been at sea for almost a a fortnight nad still havent seen hide nor sil of that stupid pirate ship. How are we supposed to stop those stupid raiders if they wont attack.
At least the fishing is good. :\
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Finally...some peace and quiet. My hands are killing me from climbing up and down those stupid riggings all the time!
Apparently i irritated someone for some reason and they got me on crows nest duty. Its normally not so bad, except when stinky sam shows up keeps hitting on me. And i cant get this stupid grin off my face...I feel happy that im here, except when stinky sam is with me. I swear Im gonna toss him into the drink if he keeps it up! :mad:
At lease Hestus is pretty nice, albeit a bit quiet. Though Im always a bit on edge when hes around. Him and the captain are like complete opposites...I dont get how they got together.
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*the parchment reads as if the person writing in it was extremely agitated..the pen marks obviously pushing intothe paper deeply.
I was in the forest today playing with some squirrels. It was lots of fun until...
My nightmare finally came for me! Gods! She appeared out of the woods, and was all nicey nicey...then she got close and..and..i knew it was her! THe hunter found me! I just froze...my body just felt numb, my legs and arms felt like they were dead. I was forozen on the spot. She had come for me!
Somehow..Im not sure how...I couldnt think..then i felt the warmth flow through me as suddenly my sword was in my hand and it was coursing with fire and lightning! I just lashed out with my sword then and ran! :o
I woke up deeper in the woods in the crook of a tree. Im not sure how long I had been there.
She wont take me back! Not again!>:/
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So I met this strange elf named Omer. I guess hes a part of the Angels guild or something, him and his girlfriend miss hanna were talking about some magic school they were opening. I guess hes gonna be hte headmaster or something important like that.
He was nice, and though i recognized his smell...and not him. He was nice about it. I guess miss hanna let him in on me or something. Cause he didnt ask alotof questions about what happened to me.
He did say that maybe I should look into what I am to help me remember stuff. Spellsword he said i was. Bear told me that too..that i was trained along time ago and maybe trying ot revisit my training might help me. O.o
I did find some old papers and stuff with notes about it I had written awhile ago. And Mr Omer showed me a book i found for him once. Though he had yet to decipher its pages. He said they had a magical enchantment on them, but they were important. Something about the secrets of some old school in point dart, wherever that is.
I think i should talk to him again about it. Write now I guess I need to head into katherian. I dont like the smell of this place...but i guess there are some nasty pirates causing trouble. DOnt know how mr Caer talked me into this one. I get seasick really bad. O.o
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Bear was so sweet. He really wants to help me...He said he had something of mine that was important to me once.
It was wrapped in some nice cloth and obviously taken care of...He said he tried to write it on a few times. But his heart wasnt in it.
He also gave me another set of books. He said these belonged to my mother and grandmother. He said dad gave him the whole set when i fell. That they were mine and belonged together.
Im actually kind of scared to go thru them. Will I like who i was before i came back? I dont know...
Bear was really sweet, I think Ill bake him a pie. Miss Tegan said she would show me how. :)
Though Im kinda nervous...everytime I see Mr Caer he keeps talking to me in elfish. Said I was learning it before..before I went away. He thought it would help to get into old habits again..I guess. :\
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It was interesting last noght. I saw Ira again after a really long time, and he was trying to help Flynn out. Apparently lynn is tryin gto learn the ways of the Spellsword. Flynn...who would of thought that, he usually more interested in singing and drinking than anything else! Still, hes alright. :p
He asked me if i could help him out, so I thought I would try and help. He asked specifically about casting in armor. The theory is easy enough, doing it is another matter! O.o
I was reading in my old journal about my teacher...that and my body ached as I read it, like it remembered what i went through! He had me wearing this old rusty armor that barely moved at all then he started casting at me and told me to do something! EESH...what a nightmare that must have been! :o
Flynn didnt seem to keen on this type of practice. ;)
In the end, as we were talking, I kinda thought about Flynn and his strengths...I told him to think about dancing and how he played his instruments. How you had to be fluid with your movements and then things will start to work. I know my teacher always thought grace was one of the biggest issues I had! :\\
Still...flynn has a lot to learn but at least he seems genuinely sincere about learning the ways of the Spellsword.
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Mr Caers lesson are driving me crazy! At least he makes it kinda fun...sortof. Oh well...I do seem to be catching more and more as he speaks.
He does get rather irritated at me when i put the dwarfy rocks in my mouth and speak elfish! He just curls up his face like he drank some sour milk when he hears me! O.o :)
Now to find some grubs...my bag is getting low. :(
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SO miss hanna gave me this diary nad said it was a from a friend. Im not sure why I have this, Im not even sure I can read it. Its mostly in elfish, but my lessons seem to be helping as I can make out some phrases and stuff.
Sarah..or Huntemara...or something like that. Somethng ...angel?
Good practice for me at any rate. :\
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*These pages have a light dusting of salt on them and seem slightly water damaged
Well...Hestus and I seem to be getting on swimmingly. :p We even had a nice chat..as far as we could the other day.
Seems He and the captain are kinda like brother and sister, and that they are tied to some magic seal that keeps a demon from getting loose. Seems I found the right mission to be on! :) :o
Anyways, after thinking about what he said, the attack cloud thinger does make sense. Its also good to know that Bergis or whatever his name is isnt getting everything his way so far! It also seems like the captain has some books that might help us to help them! :D I hope so...I really like hestus nad its not fair whats happened to him.
Well...breaktimes over..back to work. We found another ship. Ill talk to Mr Steel when this is over and see what he thinks.
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Its been a nice few days. Bear has taken me to a lake we used to fish at. Actually, he said I taught him how to fish here.
Its really nice, really quiet. We've enjoyed the stars, getting to know one another again, fishing. Apparently Im still better at it than he is. :D Though he did catch the biggest catfish i remember ever seeing! O.o
While he gathering some apples nearby, I decided to pull out this book Miss Hanna gave me. Its pretty hard to read since my elfish really stinks, but im slowly working on it. Bear isnt much help with it, since he doesnt speak a word of it. He says its all dwarf to him! Funny guy. :)
After I told him who it was written by, he told me a few things about sarah. She was my best friend, we got into alot of trouble together (go figure ;) ) and sometimes it was like we were joined at the hip. She sounds nice.
He also said she goes by the name Huntemara...he was never quite sure why she decided to call herself that, but it was something bad that happened along time ago. :(
Bear isnt the wisest person in the world, but he can sure seem like it sometimes. He figures she gave it to miss hanna to give to me to try and help me remember her. So I wouldnt be so freaked out by another person who knows more about me than i sometimes do. That it might prepare me for when i do meet her. That, or miss hanna just wanted to make my brain hurt trying to translate this stuff! ;)
The book does smell familiar...:\
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Note to self....
A new idea for the orc bashers to sell. Grubs on a stick! Frozen of course! yummy treat for the summer heat!
O.o :D
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Well...this elvish stuff is pretty tough..but I think im starting to get it. At least a little bit anyway. :\\
Its also kinda depressing..though i did get a bit of perspective on this Hunty girl. Seems we were best friends, then i led her into some serious trouble. Mr Caer said it wasnt my fault. It still feels like it was though.
I almost wish I had never started trying to read that stupid diary of hers! :mad: It makes my head hurt, and now Im not sure if who I was was even a decent person at all. :(
Getting locked up in jail, getting this sarah to break me out, then she ends up...she gets captured and turned into some wizards plaything and worse. :mad:
All because of me...
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Its such a nice day laying in the sun by the lake.
The bears and I had fun playing in the water and fishing, then just being lazy and soaking up the sunshine. 8)
Later on I saw Vrebs and Trally passing by and said hi, They thought I was mad for playing with bears in the middle of the great forest. O.o
Their just mad cause the bears dont like them except as maybe dinner. ;)
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I saw FLynn again the other day and we had a nice chat and he played me some new music he was working on. It was pretty bawdy! O.o :D
We also started talking about spellsword stuff and he asked me if i would be willing to try and teach him more. I wasnt sure at first, not that I wouldn't mind teaching him at all. Its just, well..my mind is still foggy sometimes.
I know reading my old journal has helped, and Ive been trying to be conscientious about how I do some things that I seem to understand and know..I just cant put a word to it. My old journal has helped..and things are returning slowly.
Maybe helping FLynn will help me. :\\ :)
I'll send him a bird to meet me at the arena. Lets see where this goes.
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Well....seems Flynn decided to meet me at the arena in Vehl.
I have to be honest with myself...i was kinda hoping he wouldn't. Im still not sure how this is gonna turn out. He is my first real student and Im still so fuzzy on so many things.
Still, he did pretty good considering. ;) :) I think he surprised the heck out of those young fighters I got to help us out. At least til one of them mooshed his nose! What a mess! O.o
It was strange, after we got done and he was taking a breather...I'm not quite sure where it came from but i think it was something my old teacher once told me. It didnt sound like me at all. :\\
That or Ive become way colder than I thought since I...since i came back or something. :(
Now for the next lesson...something that wont tire the old geezer out so fast. He's no spring chicken anymore. :D
Maybe target practice...I'll have to see if that old rusted out armor is still around somewhere. O.o
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So i was walking into this small hamlet ive never been though in the forest on dregar yesterday, just being my normal happy as squirrel, and not bothering anyone. I decided to be nice and polite and say hello...in elvish (figured i could practice on someone else besides mr caer or my friends for once). :)
They just glared at me and said something completely mean and rude! I know the bad words from some of my friends who have been trying to 'help me learn'. ;) I know I cant exactly say everything just right or without a bit of 'an accent' but sheesh! :o
I just tried to say hello and they get all nasty on me. Its like some stories ive heard about the uppity elves on voltrex or something. Like i was completely being insulting for trying to learn to speak it! :mad:
I was stunned! I just kinda stood there with my mouth open in shock! Im not completely sure i got the next part of what they said...something about Aeridin and me being some filthy half breed troublemaker! :o O.o
I dont even know where that came from! The just glared at me like i needed to die or something far worse! :(
Im not sure, where that came from. Since when have I ever done something against them. I dont even know them. Besides, whats their god got against me? :\\
Jerks
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So this book that Miss Hanna gave me..I guess its from a girl who was my best friend before I..well..before. :\\
She said that she knew I was back and having trouble and wanted me to get to know her through her book so I wouldnt feel like she was just another shadow from my past. :\\
She also said she was really anxious to see me again too! It would be nice to have a friend like that again. I just hope I dont seem all freaky to her. I know i still feel like a freak sometimes when Im with people I knew from before. O.o :(
Miss Hanna said she would be there when i meet sarah..err..huntamara again. To help make things easier, or at the very least stone me if i freak out! O.o
Soon I think... :)
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I cant believe Hempy is in ruins...I pop out of the portal and decide to cut through the fields and there is nothing but hordes of people where farms used to be! O.o :(
My home is gone...the bashers shop is ruins and under water...:o :(
I just hope everyone got out safe and sound.
I dont know what to do...I feel so helpless right now. All I can do is try to help out where i can i guess. Hopefully the rest of the bashers will show up soon and we can figure out what to do.
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Oh Bear! I was so happy when he showed up outside of Blackford Castle. :)
I was sitting ina tree when he walked below me. I was so excited I jumped into his arms from the branches of the tree...bad mistake.
At lease hes still a cuddly lump and a good pillow to land on! Poor guy, I overwhelmed him with my squirrelishness! :D
It was such a nice day and it felt so nice to be in his arms again. I was feeling especially discouraged cause Mr Steel was on trial for the arms being burnt to the ground. Well..that and the fact he got mad at the corruption in the blackguard and beat some poor fella up in the guardhouse. Poor guy died cause his fellow soldiers decided it was better to let him die than give him some healing potions Mr Steel left after drubbing him!
Oh yeah...apparently my voice carries a bit more than i thought causei got kicked out before i found out what happened to him. Good queenie mouring didnt appreciate my backing up Mr Steel apparently. I wasnt even that loud..i just kinda let something slip and she got all mad at me. Who got her knickers all in a twist anyways. :\\
Bear was so funny...we walked to llast and since it felt like forever since we last saw one another we just enjoyed each others company. He even carried me on his shoulders to Hlint from the fort llast road! He was just a nut! :D
We talked about alot of things, some good, some more bittersweet and others sad. We spent the next few days in the wild surge. Between digging sand at the lake and sharing each others warmth thru the nights it was a wonderful time. I havent felt this happy in a long time. :)
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Its been a strange time for me lately. Flashes of memories that dont seem to belong to me have been appearing in my dreams. Yet they are mine.
The leaves dont seem to have their same vibrant hue, the squirrels are avoiding me. I've been hearing the lonely wail of the wolf calling me home. Home where?:\\
Im not sure what it means. I would have sworn I was awake...walking thru the misty forest, and there was an old familiar face. A wolf...beckoning me to follow it. It led me to an old village. I knew this place...I had been here before I think.
Next thing i know Im by the lake. The sounds of animals rustling thru the bushes, birds singing nad a squirrel staring at me with its mouth full of nuts.:)
Gods...Im going nuts. O.o
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A mad dwarf, a silvery monk and why is a balor feeding us chocolate cake and asking silly questions about halfling bakers.... O.o
Stranger yet...I know the answers. :\\
It soo weird. Is this a flash of memory or am i just going insane.:(
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*hands careworn with travel slowly clear leaves fallen over an old mound of moss which itself was covering an old oblong shaped stone near the base of an old cherry tree.
From the hole an item wrapped in leather to protect it, but now covered with a thin spattering of dirt is pulled from its den. Unwrapped gently, the woman now somewhat careworn and haggard looking from her journey peruses its pages. At times smiling, sometimes not, and sometimes drops of moisture fall onto its pages.
Slowly she closes the book and places it into her pack. Quickly and quietly she puts everything back in order and its as if not even the wind had ever disturbed the leaves.
She bows her head and whispers words only she can hear to the tree by the river then disappears into the coming gloom.
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Geez...Im barely back into civilized lands again and already im back into the deep end of the pond! O.o
First...embarrassingly...I get lost on paths that I should have known like the back of my hand. Stick to the woods, the only sure fire way to get where you need to go. :mad:
Next...I meet this crazy elf named Sehky and his wife Keelie (who is really awesome by the way) and we go off chasing some pages from a clans book of honours. And now after finding most of them we were summoned and now we have been given the Legacy of the clan. A key...a key to the Pits. Great, now Im like a cat who's curiosity gets the better of her. Mr Moraken said he would help research one of the symbols on the key for us so we have a better idea of what we are gonna be facing if we decide to go in search of whatever it is that may be there. THough, as I think about it...maybe the whole guarding of the key was to prevent its use by someone who wanted to open a doorway to the pits. My head hurts now...:\\
Oh yeah...at least on a happier note...miss tegan and mr wren are gonna get hitched. Im glad miss tegan has found some happiness. Before I left, it was a rough time for her. And best of all, mr wren asked me to help with the wedding stuff. Though I have been gone so long, Im not sure if miss Tegan will want me to. She might be still irked that I just took off without a word to anyone. I know I hurt alot of people who were close to me when I did that. :(