Good evening fellow companions!
As some of you may have the pleasure to know, I'm Freldo the bard. Those that don't know me, I'm Freldo the bard.
It's open night here at the Surge and I'm taking requests for stories...
...shouts, requests, bla, bla, bla...
More half-orc stories? (slight cheers)
Alright then, let's see what other predicaments I've been in with them... I remeber one!
A halfling, a half-orc and I were running away from the city guard when we come to a forest, and they each of us decided to hide by climbing a tree. I took a while to climb, being of frail nature but the halfling and half-orc were up in a moment.
When the Guardsmen arrive, they went to the first tree where the halfling was hiding and shouted, "We know you’re up there, come down!"
The halfling, a quick minded girl, said, “Tweet, tweet, tweet!”
The Guardsmen, thinking that it was a bird, move on to the next tree where the I was hiding and once again shouted, "We know you’re up there, come down!"
In a moment of panic I called out, "Whoo, whoo, whoo!"
The Guardsmen, mostly because my owl call is very convincing, moved on to the next tree where the half-orc was hiding and once again shout, "We know you’re up there, come down!"
The half-orc took a little while and said, "Moo, moo, moo."
...
Alright, next request... shouts and such
A dwarf joke? Sure, but if one charges me, I'll send you, elven master, the medical fees.
Let's see... Oh, this one's a good one, I'm sure many have heard it but it's one of my favorites.
An elf walks into an inn I was performing at and clears his voice to the crowd, amoung which was a large group of dwarves. He said, "I hear you dwarves are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give 500 gold to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of extra stout back-to-back."
The room is quiet, even I stopped performing, and no one took up the elf's offer. One dwarf even got up and left.
Thirty minutes later, the same dwarf who left, came back and tapped the elf on the back. "Is your bet still good?" asked the dwarf.
The elf says yes and asks the innkeeper to line up 10 pints of extra stout. Immediately the dwarf tore into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back.
The other pub patrons cheer as the elf sits in amazement. The elf gave the dwarf the 500 gold and says, "If you don't mind me asking, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"
The dwarf replied, "Oh... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."
Thank you, Freldo's the name and I'll be here all week.
