I have never writen a journal before, but I think now is a great time to start. The reason is, I think I am going crazy, and since no God has ever herd my cries before this seems a likely place to put my thoughts. Am I going crazy? Today, while once again cutting down those retched Goblins, I saw a man unconcious on the ground. I didn't have any potions or bandages with me, so my first reaction of trying to help him was cut short. My next reaction was that I was curious as to if whatever imaginary land he was in, if he could feel the pain of his mortal wounds. Then I saw him stir and he rose. Thise was my first thought that I was going crazy; I felt disapointed that he had survived. I scolded myself for this, but then an arrow wizzed past my ear and struck the man in the chest. He again fell on the ground unconcious. At this point I was about to run for help befor it was too late, but I herd him shift and a thought came to my head. I have been judged by the Soul Mother many times, but then it intrigued me to witness the struggle between mortal and heaven. He struggled for almost thirty seconds befor going rigid and relaxing again into the Void. At that point I walked away unscathed. Reflecting back I am appaled and utterly frightened by my actions and thoughts. Why did I not try to save the man? A few hours later I needed some money for some crafting equipment and descided to let the orcs rest for a while so I ventured into the Red Light Caves to take some gold from the Goblins. Wondering around I found a passe way that led into a cavern with an alter. This also intrigued me, and now I am only frightened of this because it was of course dedicated to some evil Diety. But my intrigue lay in that I have searched my entire life for a God to hear me, or to hear of one that suited me, but all to no avail. But these Goblins, lowly creatures of the earth that they are, had found some otherwordly creature that would take notcie of them. Am I that low and disgraceful that Goblins have fared better than I? Goblins whose only purpose to me is their stolen purses?
A few hours later I almost struck a man for no other reason but that he thought that I could not answer for myself and took it apon himself to speak for me. This does not frighten me but angers me that I had not the will to do it for fear of being caught. He was lucky...
