Niconai's thoughts

[trillex]

(This is written in a spoken way, her own thoughts talking to each other)
 
  Collapsing on the ground, head feels dizzy as it smashes into the leaves - pain, desperation, feel of loss.. the loss, what exactly is the loss? Flame is patient, glad he is with me, would have gone crazy if his fuzziness hasn't been around. Weak, angered, feeling lonely. Maybe it is the loss of .. something, whatever it is. The burning in the heart. Feverish nightmares, Katia will lead me to balance, balance will be claimed, balance will stay, balance comes at a loss.. a loss of it. That thing, I don't know what is. Flame growls, he feels it as well - his master is weak - weakened by loss. The oak. The oak will prevail, Katia is who I belong to, not the oak. A gathering of druids, Rhizome.. daughter, Brisbane - who is.. loss. He said - he promised - he promised nothing. My tears will feed the earth. The forest, Sielwood.. feels corrupt, why is it full of hostility .. evil and good needs to be here for balance, balance.. murder is balance. Balance is wrong - why is the balance important if it encourages evil? Standing up, resting against the tree, feeling it sigh with relief, Flame giving it a gentle bump to tell it to scratch him. Katia, tell me my goal. Balance? What kinda druid am I? Probably the wrong kind, but Katia is still by my side. She will tell me, my cheek is red. The nature will let me hide. As an animal, I can be neutral - why does my opinions matter, they do not.
  The loss..

[trillex]

Even though my mind has been a mess over the years, it was a very pleasant sight to see Hlint once more. But even though the old lake is no longer there, I was sent back into the past as I rested out by the old merchant halls. When I was walking there, I heard someone saying my name, my normal name. First, I thought it was my mind playing tricks once more but I heard it again as I cleaned out my backpack. Serenity.

The best sight I could imagine that I've wished a lot for. I must admit that I thought she died under the vampire mysteries, in pursuit for her own goals but there she was. Herself, yet not. She told me she got a new name and we didn't have much time to talk before Triba scared all the dirt of my old suit.

Along with this, I was told that all of my old friends were still about. Remiel, Ozy, Rhizome, Serenity, Triba. Thankfully, both Triba and Ser remembered me and that put my mind to ease. It's nice that my mind can be tamed every now and then. Sometimes I just feel like I need to go crazy to get some sort of rest, even though I've found some ease in taking care of the dead animals' skins that I find about.  I'm scared of the lack of attention I get from my deity and the nature. Maybe I am lost.

If it just was that easy.