Customer Service

[stragen]

[SIZE=24]Be sure and cancel  your credit cards before you die![/SIZE][/I][/B][/I]
 
 
[SIZE=18]A lady died this past  January, and ANZ bank billed her for February  and[/SIZE][/I][/B][/I][SIZE=18]
March for their annual service charges on her credit  card, and then
added late  fees and interest on the monthly charge.
The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around  $60.00.[/SIZE][/B]
[SIZE=18]A  family member placed a call to ANZ:
Family Member:
"I am calling to tell  you that she died in January."
ANZ:
"The account was never closed and the  late fees and  charges still
apply."
Family Member:
"Maybe, you should  turn it over to collections."
ANZ:
"Since it is two months past due, it  already has been."
Family Member:
So, what will they do when they find out  she is dead?"
ANZ:
"Either report her account to the frauds division or  report her to the
credit bureau, maybe both!"
Family Member:
"Do you  think God will be mad at her?"
ANZ:
"Excuse me?"
Family Member:
"Did  you just get what I was telling you . . . the part about her  being
dead?"
ANZ:
"Sir, you'll have to speak to my  supervisor."
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member:
"I'm calling  to tell you, she died in January."
ANZ:
"The account was never closed and  the late fees and charges still
apply."
Family Member:
"You mean you  want to collect from her estate?"
ANZ:
(Stammer)    "Are you her  lawyer?"
Family Member:
"No, I'm her great nephew."
(Lawyer info  given)
ANZ:
"Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member:  "Sure."
(fax number is given)
After they get the fax:
ANZ:
"Our  system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do
to  help."
Family Member:
"Well, if you figure it out, great!
If not, you  could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
ANZ:
"Well, the  late fees and charges do still apply."
Family Member:
"Would you like her  new billing address?"
ANZ:
"That might help."
Family  Member:
"Rook  wood Memorial  Cemetery,
1249 Centenary  Rd, Sydney
Plot  Number  69."

ANZ:
"Sir, that's a cemetery!"

Family Member:
"What do  you do with dead people on your planet?"[/SIZE]

[ShiffDrgnhrt]

Once Again, Humanity Proves how Stupid it can be...

[Marswipp]

Not to mention how unwatned common sense is in the business world.

[lonnarin]

Of course from the other end of things, has anybody here ever worked customer service for a cable company?

Customer: *long stream of swear words* mah cable just went out!

Me: Yes, we haven't recieved payment for 3 months.  Would you like to make a payment?

C: Hell No!  Thats mah momma's account!  She DEAD!

M: Well I'm sorry to hear that, I guess she won't need cable anymore.

C: Nuuuuugh!  TURN IT ON!  Ah need it!

M: Well, I could open a new account here in your name and start billing you then before service.

C: AAAAUUUURRRRGGGGHHH!!!  I Aint payin NOTHIN!  Mah Momnma's dead!

M: Yes, I understand, and I'm not charging you for her old account.  But if you want cable, you have to pay like everybody else.

C: Nuuuuuuugggghhhh!!!  It mah momma's cable! She pay fer it!

M: But you just said your mother is dead.  Besides, she was three months behind and it was shut off anyhow. If you want to have cable, you have to pay for it.

C: Can't you jus charge her account?!

M: She's dead.

C: yeah.

M: So She's not paying us, ever.

C: *laughs* yeah, turn it on!  TURN IT ON!

M: Sorry, if you want the cable, you have to pay for the cable. *talks really slow, as if to a brain dead pet*

C: *long string of swearing and accusations* TURN IT ON!

M: Sorry, no *click*

It seems that for 20%+ of all servicable accounts, whether cable, electric, water, internet or telephone services, "ma momma's dead" is the excuse we hear every single month.  I always enjoyed reading back through the account history and doing a count over just how many times this person's momma died.  They do it over and over, rack up a huge bill, get disconnected, claim the person who opened the account is dead so they dont have to pay, then squeal as loud as they possibly can to get free service meanwhile, claiming you were mean or racist or made fun of their momma to your supervisor, any lie just to get a free month of cable.  Reading through the history, you'll find that these "customers" often have had accounts for upwards of 4-5 years, their momma died 15 times, and they've recieved at least 2 of those years of service for free.  And if you put your foot down and cut off the service they're not paying for, some mouthbreathing moron supervisor walks over and gives the "customer is always right" speech, and berates you for hours over the slanderous lies the thief told him.

This is why I am SO happy to be out of customer service.

Of course I do miss pressing the microphone of the headset up to the earphone and blowing our thir eardrums on the other end, claiming it's just innocent phone line interference.

I don't know how a billing agency couldnt have a system or policy for death though.  It's not like you wake up in the morning and remember to cancel your account because of the car wreck you're going to have in two hours on the way to work.