The hope that lies within (Journal of Emerald Skye)

[Emerald Skye]

This evening I was familiarizing myself with Hlint while selling a few useless items and had a very odd encounter with two Elves (Kali and Lindariel).  Kali introduced herself to me and offered to read my cards for 40gp.  Never had I had this done before so naturally I was a little apprehensive about it.  I was also fearful of what they would fortell.  The cards showed strength and courage as well as some relationship contract that may be troubled.  Whatever this means I have no idea.  Trusting my instincts and controlling my passion will one  day be challanged.  I hope to prove myself true.  My heart is vowed to protect those who are innocent.  And I will do my best.  Tomorrow is another day!

[Emerald Skye]

*Wipes off dust from clothes and slides down wall to sit on floor.  Lights candle for light.  Dumps bag onto floor to find quill and ink.  Putting rest of contents back in bag, she slowly reclines against the wall to write*

Date****
      I am weary.  Since my arrival here in this land I have been thrown into a bustle of activities.  My head is spinning and it is hard to keep up with it all.  Nightmares seem to come at night preventing me from sleeping. I'll have to pay attention to see if they get worse.

*watches a bug crawl across the floor to the light of the candle*

I am not any closer in finding out where my family is nor do I know of yet who this mighty god is that is watching over me.  I feel his presence and I can't help to feel a bit safer as I explore more of this land.  There is a strong paladin whose name is Yar.  His deity is Toran.  I must find the time to talk with him and discuss this Toran.  

*watching the bug circle around the candle trapped by the light*

I met up with this group of adventurers who have invited me to join their group.  

*puts quill down to move the bug away from the hot wax and put it on the wall*

Their names are Yar a Paladin of Toran, Kavil a sorceror, Esimon a wizard, Dorax a drawf fighter, Rodlin a ranger and Rawkwin a cleric.  They own a house in Fort Hope and have invited me to stay.  

*smiles as the bug aimlessly wanders toward the candle again*

Having nowhere to stay upon my summons here I graciously accepted their invitation.  The house is big, bigger than I am accustomed.  I have my own room for privacy so it is here that I pen this writing.  

*reaches down to grasp the bug, stands and takes him to the crack under the door
“go find your family you little bugger and stay out of trouble” walks back to candle and sits down once again*

*smiling* Rawkwin has been very kind to me since coming here.  He seems to have taken me under his wing and I wonder if there is some attraction to me.  I have to admit that he is quite handsome and appears to have a good heart.  I know I should not think of such things for never would I be worthy of such a man.  He need not know my thoughts of him for it might make him uncomfortable with me being here.  Rodlin has a bear named Baloo.*smiles* such a sweet bear. I have found a bit of honey and at times have been sneaking a taste to Baloo.  He seems to love it and and I enjoy watching him sniff my pockets whenever he sees me. I wonder if Rodlin has noticed.  For now it is our secret (Baloo and I). Tomorrow is another day and I am anxious to get started on the adventures my friends and I will encounter.
 
*Rubbing the back of neck she puts Quill and paper away. Snuffs out candle and remembers the bug and hopes its ok.  Stretches out and uses the bag as a pillow.  Falls asleep thinking of Rawkwin.*

[Emerald Skye]

*slips into nightgown and slides between the cool sheets…lights the candle on the table next to bed, relaxes, and begins to write in journal*

Today I am happy!  There is much to be thankful for.  It has been a whole moon since I have last written and much has happened during that time.

My thoughts seem to run into each other but I will try to make sense of what has occurred these last few weeks.

I am still with Yar and Rawkwin’s group and living in their house.  They have given me a room of my own and I am thankful.  Recently furniture has been slowly appearing in my room. There is a huge bed (big enough for me and my whole family if they were here) and beautiful rug and nightstand and a handsome Armoire. How these things have gotten here is still a mystery*giggles*although I believe my fellow adventurers are the ones who are doing this. I must catch them in the act to prove the idea.  Finding a way to return their kindness I will do.

There are so many places that I have visited since my arrival here. Some filled with Blood’s evil corruption.  Together my friends and I have battled Desert giants, vampires, ogers, and a drake. We have even helped reunite two lovers. Word is that a big battle is soon coming and I want to be a part of it.  I have been working on my skills to get ready.  Recently I have bought a new sword from Hali who is my neighbor.  It is a fine weapon.
It seems that Blood is leaving his mark and may be gathering his forces.  I have vowed to fight and fight I will!

Yar, a sweet paladin, recently gave me a gift of bronze plate armor.  It fits perfectly.  He has become quite proficient in the crafting of armor and I am sure I am able to write tonight because of the armor protecting me. Rawkwin,*smiles*is making his intentions know in small ways.  He is always quick to heal me in battle and has even raised me from the dead two times. He shows such concern for me that I can see it in is eyes. I am concerned that I may be distracting him from his true calling. I pray that it is not so.

Since my time here I have met many individuals and two come to mind at this time.  The first is Lia.  I met her while digging for clay. She is a beautiful lady and well learned, although I believe something lie’s beneath her calm and beautiful exterior.  She noticed right away that I could not read or write and has offered to teach me. One day she asked if I would like to go to the Great Library with her and I went.  Although I couldn’t read she gave me a word to look for in the books and to let her know when I saw it. The word was Xantril.  Never had I seen so many books.  It was a beautiful place and one day I will be able to go and read the books on my own.  While looking for the word Xantril I came across the words Fort of Last Hope.  Somehow in my mind I recognized the words as being something important to me.  I asked Lia to read them to me and as she did I was overcome with sorrow.  These words were the name of my home.  She told me that Fort of Last Hope was in Xantril and that is was under the control of Xandrial a demon.  I told Lia that I must find my way there to discover if my family is alive.
Another individual who comes to mind is Peto.  He has become a dear friend and I have enjoyed getting to know him.  Lately though I have missed him for I know not where he is.  He goes away for long periods of time and I wonder if it has something to do with his past.  I will have to make a point to discuss this with him.

*yawning*

Something I will tell no one but will write here is that *giggles and lightly touches lips* Rawkwin kissed me. It was quick and I think he surprised himself as much as he did me.  He was embarrassed and apologized quickly.  He is such a handsome man and he his good. I want to return the gesture but Lia would say that a Lady would not.  Oh well.  I will wait and see what becomes of this.  For now I am tired and must go to sleep.  Tomorrow is another day!

*smiling, puts the book away and snuffs out candle*  

[Emerald Skye]

*flips through the pages of her journal and rereads the entries*

It’s been a long time since I have recorded my thoughts.  I have been home now for a few days and still I am plagued with what has happened.

At night I still hear the screams and feel the pain.  Even during the day I can be distracted by the haunting memories.

It seems so long ago that I left to go search for my family. Many months I often wondered if they were safe.  

I told no one, not even Rawkwin, of my plans to leave Mistone for some would have tried to stop me.  Late one night when everyone was sleeping I put all but my necessary belongings in my bedroom chest.  I could only take a few supplies with me for I did not now when or if ever I would be back.  Iwas so thankful for the lion bag that Esimon had made for me.  There was plenty of room left over after I had packed the few things I would need.  Silently in my mind as I walked out of the quiet house I said goodbye to Rawkwin, Yar, Kavil, Rodlin, Esimon, Dorax, and Annun.  Hopefuly I would be some distance away before they discovered my absence.

I headed to Port Hampshire to book passage on the next ship to Point Harbor.  I new only that I was from Fort of Last Hope on Xantril.

*recalls a memoy*

•   It has only been recently that I found this out.  I remember one day being invited to visit the Great Library with Lia.  I didn’t know how to read or write at the time but thought I could be of some use to Lia so I went.  Once there Lia gave a word to search for and told me how to look for it.  The word was Xantril and If I were to find any book with that word in to tell her.  I went through many books before I found her word…and as I was scanning through the pages I found other words that looked very familiar to me. So I took the book to Lia and asked her to read it to me and she said it was a town on Xantril called Fort of Last Hope.  I was so excited …that was my home.  The place where the dragon had summoned me from.  It was there that I needed to go back to. Determination set root in my heart at that point.  I vowed to learn all I could from anyone that could teach me.  Lia taught me to read, Yar to battle, Rodlin to survive off the land, Esimon and Kavil to see the wonder in magic, Annun to make friends and lastly Rawkwin to love.   I knew not how long it would be before I was ready to leave for my journey so I continued my training waiting for a sign.

There were many travelers on the ship. And many of them seemed to be enjoying the trip.  Though if you looked closely into their eyes you would see the hidden fear of rumors of bloods attacks. The few children aboard were playing tag and hide and seek.  If only I could relax and be as carefree as the young ones seem to be.  Let them enjoy their youth for the war will call them soon enough.

Once I arrived in Point Harbor I rented a room for a day to rest and replenish the few supplies I would need to complete my journey. Most were reluctant to talk to me when I first mentioned I needed directions to Xantril and Fort of Last Hope.  They seemed to look at me as if I was crazy.  I was hesitant to reveal too much for fear that someone would try to stop me or get word to my friends of my whereabouts. I was able to determine from my conversations that I need to go to Karthy to book passage on a ship that would take me to Xantril.  From our many trips from Mistone to Dregar, I knew how to make my way across Rilara without encountering any opposition so the trip to Karthy was fairly uneventful.  I booked passage on a ship from Karthy to Arabel.  It took me a while to find my way.   But, since I now knew how to read and had learned much about relating to people and gathering information, I was able to work out the directions and carefully make my way to the Fort of Last Hope.  As soon as I saw the walls of the fort, I knew I was close to my home.  
It’s hard to think of it now but I was so happy then that I had found my way back and would soon know how my family had been since I was taken from them.  My joy would not last long.  I spent a few days talking with my brothers and sisters.  My father was strangely calm the whole time.  It was unnerving.  I was used to him being abusive and violent.  I found out why one afternoon about a week after I arrived.  My father asked me to go for a walk and talk to him.  It was very strange but I was actually feeling hopeful that the affliction that had affected him for so long may have left him.  As we walked he questioned me about what I had experienced since I left.  I told him of my friends and of the events that had taken place on Mistone and the war against Blood.  We arrived at a small clearing and he stopped and looked at me.  Suddenly his demeanor changed and in a moment the violent abusive character I had known was back.  I didn’t know it then, but I am sure now that he was possessed by a being in the service of Xandrial.  From the trees I heard noises and all at once dozens of hideous looking goblins and deformed men sprung from the trees and seized me.  They tied my hands and blindfold me.  I heard my father tell them that I would be a good source of intelligence about the enemy forces (my friends).  It was then that I knew all of my hopes were in vain.  I was taken deep into the neighboring mountains to a place that, as I was soon to find out, was designed for torture and punishment of prisoners.  What I experienced there is impossible to express in words but I must mention a few things.  I was tortured and asked for every detail that I knew about those who were resisting Blood.  I was thankful that I didn’t know much so that when I was forced to tell them what I knew there was not much harm that would come from it.  My torturers did not believe that I knew so little.  They did find out that my family was very important to me.  One day they brought my family before me and told me that if I didn’t give them more information they would kill my family.  I begged them not too, even though I knew it was in vain.  I was helpless as each of my two brothers were murdered right in front of me.  I thought I would die from the pain of watching my mother and two sisters being tortured and eventually killed.  During all of this my father stood by smiling a devilish smile at my pain.  Finally, when they were sure that there was nothing else I could tell them they turned to my father and the leader complimented him on his service to Xandrial.  The leader said in a demonic voice, “And now you will have your reward.”  With this he drove his jagged dagger through my fathers heart.   And then they all left.  The bodies of my family lied there on the floor for days.  My cell had a magical barrier at the entrance to the roughly hewn rock cavern.  I became so numb that I felt nothing anymore, no hope, no pain, nothing.  I just wanted to die so it would all end.  
That was when I had the dream.  Once before, I had a similar dream.  It was right before I was summoned by the dragon.  A figure in white appeared to me and told me that he had been watching me and that I was important to his plans.  He told me I would have to go away in order to fulfill my destiny.  He told me he would be watching over me and that he would provide for me.  I did not know who it was but I felt I could trust him so I followed his instructions.  The dream I had in my cell was similar but different.  It was the same white figure but in this case he was not saving me out of my suffering but he encouraged me to wait and survive.  The dream gave me just enough hope to go on.  The guards seemed to ignore me even though they went about their appointed rounds.  I became determined to live and wait for deliverance.  
I survived by eating the lichen and bat guano I could find in my cell and the meager rations that the guards would slip through the barrier.  It seemed like months passed.  I lost total track of time.  I overheard the guards talking about the war and how Blood would win and they would be part of the new order.  I didn’t understand the places and names that I heard but I listened, trying to remember any detail that I could.  Then one day everything changed.  The guards were running to and fro.  There was mass confusion.  I had no idea what had happened but I heard one of the guards say something about Xandrial being banished.  The chaos that followed lasted for a long time, months maybe.  But, eventually, the guards stopped coming.  The food stopped coming.  I felt I would eventually starve.  I tried to pass the barrier but each time I tried it forced me back.  After a few weeks of solitude I began again to despair.  Once again, when I was at the end of myself the white figure appeared to me.  This time it was not a dream.  He told me it was time for me to leave.  He told me that the power that held me there was fading and that I could resist the barrier and escape.  I tried to walk through it but again I was pushed back.  I was too weak.  He looked at me with a kind expression and said, “Not with your strength child, with mine.”  He touched me and I felt energy flow through me like I had never felt before.  It felt like I was in contact with the source of life itself.  I felt that I would have the power to move the entire mountain if need be.  I approached the barrier again and with ease I strode through it to freedom.  I looked back at him and asked him, “Why me?”  He looked at me with the same kind expression and said, “There is one who needs you.  He has been searching for you for a long time.  He is waiting and still searching.  You must go to him now.  Together you will be stronger than either of you could be alone.”  That was the last I saw of the man in white.  Rawkwin spoke often of the Lifegiver, Aeridin.  Could this have been some representative of Aeridin?  I knew in my heart it was for Rawkwin that I was set free.  I understand now that from the beginning this man in white had intended that Rawkwin and I be together.  I made my way back to Arabel but I had no money or any way to get back to the friends I had known.  I was wandering in Arabel trying to find a way to earn my way home when my ordeal came full circle. As I was asking a passerby for a handout, I heard my name mentioned.  I looked in disbelief to the direction of the sound and that when I saw him.  He had come for me.  It was Rawkwin. I called out his name.  My heart leapt even as my legs became weak.  I almost fell but he caught me as I was running to him.  I will never forget the feeling of falling into his arms, the feeling of safety, the feeling of being loved.

[Emerald Skye]

I have taken a leap of faith.  I have accepted Rawkwin's proposal and we have been joined in matrimony.  I believe this is where I am being led.  I believe that fate has brought us together and Aeridin has saved me from the dangers of my family and from my imprisonment for me to be Rawkwins partner.  Together we can accomplish anything.  His goodness guiding my sword is an unstoppable force.  Our love will conquer all.

[Emerald Skye]

*lights the candle beside her bed and takes out her jounal*

Where does one begin to write when so much has happened.  Married life has suited me well and Rawkwin is taking care of me very well.  I still have some nightmares regarding my imprisonment but they seem to going away.  I have to admit that my time away has made me a little more independent. I find that I don't HAVE to have someone around me all the time.  It seems that I am more confident with my abilities and have started making friends and joining other adventureres in their quests.  Lately my closest friends seem to be wandering to unexplored areas of the world...I wonder if they too are growing independent.  There is something to be missed about being such a tight nit group..I wonder if will ever be the same.  Only time will tell.

Blood has been defeated and for that I am happy.  I wish I could have been the one to end it for him for all the trouble he has brought into my life.  But now that he is gone I will try to put the pieces of my emotions back together.  Maybe the Life Giver has something for me to distract my mind.  Maybe a new purpose.  Aeridin has blessed me and I suppose I have much to be thankful for.  Rawkwin continues to shower me with his love..I just hope that my lack of uncertainty will not confuse him.  I love him so.  

maybe after a night rest I will feel not so gloomy.  I need to get out more that is for sure.

*leans over and gives Rawkwin a kiss on the forhead* "Sleep well my love" *Blows out the candle and curls up to sleep*

[Emerald Skye]

*Slips out of bed, careful not to wake Rawkwin.  She quickly and quietly finds her cloak, quill, journal and candle and closes the door behind her. “ouch” biting her lip she carefully pulls to release her hair caught in the door.  Noticing the full moon she gathers the hem of her nightgown and cloak and runs to the lake to write in her journal*

It has been awhile since my last entry and it is time I record the events taking place in my life if ever I am to remember them.  Rawkwin has been busy.  It seems that many seek out his wisdom and healing these days that I have had difficulty in finding him.  He has spent quite of bit of time in North Point at the temple of Aeridin. Recently he shared with me the news of Rhynns healing.  With the assistance of others he was able to remove a curse form her body and is well today.  I am glad for her.  

I have done some traveling lately with some of my friends.  It reminds me of old times.  Not too long ago I was even able to visit my home of Fort of Last Hope.  Being there reminded me of the betrayal of my father.  So I didn’t say anything to anyone who was with me that this was my home.  I didn’t want to answer question after question.  So I kept quite.  Rawk knew though, I saw it in his eyes.  *looks up at he full moon and the night sky*  Why does going home unsettle me so?  Could there be something here that needs to be finished?  I don’t know.  

[Emerald Skye]

Well I guess I need to go ahead and say it.  I need glasses!  Was wondering how come I was knocking friends down and attacking them in large groups.  They all look they same to me.  Even my dear Rawkwin suffered for my *coughs* lack of vision.  I killed him while in battle.  It took the breath out of me when someone told me it was Rawk instead of a Hill Giant.  Thank goodness the soul mother did not find him for if she had ........    He was so forgiving.  Anyway I have a pair of glasses on order so that I can see better.  Hopefully I will get a bird soon from the crafter to let me know they are ready.  Maybe then I will be able to see more clearer.

[Emerald Skye]

My glasses are in!  Jil made them perfectly.  She even took special care to craft them in such a way so that I can wear them under my helm.  She even told me that they make me look distingushed looking. *giggles*  I don't know about that but at least I can see clearer now.  I ran into Mith the other day.  It is not very often that I see him around so I said hi.  He asked me how I was and if I happened to have any silver on me for sale.  I didn't.  But I told him I would keep my eyes open for some and let him know if I come across any.  It was the very next day when I went mining and happened along some silver.  It wasn't too much effort to get it but the blisters I recieved on my hands were horrible.  Keeping in mind that Mith had wanted silver I sent him a messanger bird asking if he still needed it.  He did.  We worked out a reasonable price for the exchange.  Mith even noticed my blisters and asked if he could at least heal them.  At first I was a little nervous at letting him do this for Rawk is the only one that I trust to heal my aches and pains.  Mith said that it would be simple and that not only clerics had healing capabilities. So with that I let him rub some ointment on my blisters (the worst one being on my right hand) and in a second or two they healed before my eyes.  It was quite painless.  I thanked him for his kindness. He seemed happy that he could help.