How I have changed….I look back and remember the time I would have nothing to do with any of Toran, even before Remiel. But now….
I have always respected Syn, as a person he has always been a friend but I was not thinking what made him who he is. He is a paladin of Toran, his code runs through him, Geldar has taught me that. To respect and care for Syn I was, without realising it, respecting his code.
Quantum also earned my respect and friendship and as a Cleric of Toran he too is defined by his passion for his god, again something I did not see before Geldar.
Michaelis also earnt my respect with his actions and his quiet determination. I find myself becoming his friend, healing him in battle and worrying for him as I do Syn and Quantum.
Geldar…..well if you would have told me I would a love Toranite Paladin much less agree to marry one years ago I would have laughed. But I love him beyond belief and to love him I love all that he is. He has taught me what his code means to him, that it is not simply rules to live by but instead how he lives. I never wish to compromise his code in anyway for that would be to compromise his very being…
Remiel made me despise Toran. I could not understand how Remiel could do what he did and not fall sooner…I have always been an impatient women but fall he did and it did not change my feelings for Toran. I refused healing from his paladins and clerics and would not be raised by them and that too has changed.
I have a new found respect for Toran. I have learnt I can not judge all by Remiel’s actions, nor can I judge a god by one of his paladins.
I have worked with the church to protect Celestia and my daughter; I have seen the honour and truth within it.
I am willing to be married by a Cleric of Toran, binding myself by Toran’s laws. I thought I simply did this to please Geldar but when Mith spoke to me of there being no need to marry with laws at all I realised it is actually what I wish. After Brit I feared to be bound by the laws of man, a fear that showed itself to me when I was with Jet but that fear is gone. I can respect what Toran stands for having had these people come into my life and truly show me his worth and I will stand proudly by Geldar’s side and swear my oaths in the eyes of Toran knowing that truth, honour and loyalty are things I share with Toran and as such I should never fear being bound by his laws, especially to the man I love, with who I share such a passion for life, who’s passion for Toran and myself knows no boundaries.
*laughs softly to herself as she sets her quill aside a moment, before continuing to scribe*
Oh how I have changed, how I have taken what life has dealt out and learnt, grown and I hope, done good…..
