Ran

[Makashi]

It's coming up to the 3rd year without seeing Trysk...I'm beginning to think he may not have plans on returning, or has found his sister, or something...maybe he thinks I wasn't going to come back...

Well, I guess I'll just have to carry on, theres nothing else to do. Although it feels like I am growing apart from all my friends, growing close to a few others, though I'm finding it harder to talk to more and more people. I guess it's all because I'm always trying to avoid thinking about whether or not Trysk will return. Though it's had to ignore the thoughts...unless I'm around the right people I just don't feel like myself anymore.

I miss Abi and Angela dearly, but I understand they have other things to deal with. I miss Shelu. Just wonder if things could have turned out differently if I hadn't of gone away...I'd probably still be close to Abi and Angela, maybe I could have even helped Shelu...and Trysk may have even stayed...even miss my talks with Jeran, which we still have, just not often. I suppose in a way it's good, he helps me clear my head, then leaves and comes back when it needs clearing again!

Freldo, every moment he's around I feel fine, even if I'm thinking of all the problems I've got, looking at him and seeing him smile makes me feel at ease, and safe, which I don't quite understand!

Ilsare, bring Trysk back to me safely...

[Makashi]

Dear Mother,

I wish I could write to you telling you of all the wonderful things that have been happening,
But I think today I've realised that I'm being unfair to people around me....not thinking about the long term consequences.
Everyone in my life before I came to visit...the very people I came back for, Gone, or just have little time or interest to speak to me. Maybe the same has happened to Trysk, maybe he's moved on. Maybe he hasn't.. I hope he hasn't but I don't even know where he is. He left somewhere just a few weeks before I got back to Mistone. Sy'Ravenne...she was around often when I got back, but it was as if she had never knew me. Then she just stopped passing by.
Kaizer..I don't know what happened to him, Nor Shadoe, and well I think Corsan must have left Mistone because of me...Though fortunately I still see Abi and Angela, on the occasion.
Also Shelu died by the time I arrived back...Everytime I walk into her old room I feel lost without her to talk to.

I miss them all, but not as much as the feeling of knowing your in the company of people that love you.
I guess I really need your advice...recently I've become very close to Freldo, he makes me laugh, smile, makes me feel good about myself. but he's not Trysk...and I  do adore Freldo, he's such a nice person...
The same mistakes been made by me before....and the out come hasn't been good...I guess Corsan and Sy'Ravenne are proof of that...I don't want to hurt Freldo, but I fear I've left it too late...I love Trysk, and yet I'm irresponsible enough to let some one get close to me. What should I do? Why do I let myself do these stupid things.

I pray for Ilsare to bring Trysk back, and to help me make the right choices in life. I just hope she can guide me out of this predicament.
Send Father my love. Miss you both very much, among other things.
Take care of yourselves.

Ranéwin

[Makashi]

It's funny how a few simple words can change your mood completely...what I mean really is, before I went to the Arms earlier for a drink I felt pretty much how I have done the last 5 years or however long it's been now!! Acacea only really said was 'You missed Trysky', suddenly my heart skipped a beat, knowing that after all this time, perhaps my prayers and dreams have finally come true.


Just hearing his name without bringing it up first, just brought a smile to my face, I looked around to double check he wasn't there, but atleast I know he is well, even if he was only visiting...atleast I have the satifaction of knowing he is taking care of himself, well I hope he is anyway or it's another thing thats going on the list of things to moan at him about when he gets back, which is getting longer by the day, mostly just things around the house I never want to have to do again.

Passing through hlint over the past few months I've talked with the few people I often see on my little walks during my spare time, unless I'm heading home, or to the temple! I need to talk with Freldo again, after seeing him at the inn tonight, and receiving those flowers the other day with the side message, I think we could use a chat, and I assumed he didn't want to talk about it while he was working, so said nothing, although I think he must have overheard the talk about Trysk.
I suppose I can only hope he will continue to talk to me, without having those conversations which make you feel really awkward, and then that overhanging feeling of regret for everythings that has happened!

E ceela aey Trysk. Come back soon.

*She closes the book and slides it onto a shelf before walking out the room whistling happily*

[Makashi]

Trysk,

How the years have passed, So many things have changed, I've found it difficult coping without you, knowing that we would not see eachother for a long time. Yet my bond with you will always remain the same. People have helped me learn, that no one will replace you. Hearing your name brings back so many happy memories, feelings, dreams of our future..

I know that your well, and hope you do come home soon, so we can do all the things we used to. Sitting by the fire, or just outside our door by the sea...Just thinking about the memories of our love...it's what keeps the smile upon my face. Ilsare's blessed us with a unity which won't be broken, even if you do not return, I will never stop remembering all the things you taught me, and how you could walk into a room and fill it with laughter.
Oh, and you really need to help me move some book cases, they're too heavy for me to cope with on my own.

Missing you each moment.
E Ceela aey,

Ranéwin

[Makashi]

So many changes....the fall of pranzis....blood.....abi....my feelings...

I wandered into Hlint one early morning, and bumped into Freldo, I stood there catching up with him, he told me about how he was waiting for news, when Barion turned up several hours later and told us that Blood had finally fallen. I was shocked, I had no idea an attack was even launched, a darkness consumed the sky, damage from one of the blood wells I understand.

So the dawn of a new age...what a terrible start it had. Abi hung herself, Barion was devastated. I was devastated. One of the few close friends I had, really close....gone, forever...I cried, on my own, with Freldo, Barion...everytime I hear her name come up tears come to my eyes...I miss her. I loved her dearly.

Freldo has been the only thing thats kept my mind away from things I don't want to think about too much. I've grown even closer to him now than before, and I hope things stay this way.

I've got A'arna's old house in Lar now...I need to start moving my stuff up there, but it's going to take time. It's probably going to be awkward getting it all up the peaks aswell...So I guess thats my next thing to get distracted from.

[Makashi]

Time moves on, as do people, and their feelings. Well, some people.

It's funny how I find myself sat on the benches of Hlint more and more often recently. Like old times, just without the old people.
I watch and listen to the conversation of the new adventurers, how it reminds me of the days when I had not been as far as the bottom of Haven mines. Some things will always remain the same. How I wish that was so for the friendships that once were.

If there was one more wish I could have come true, I would have to wish for all of my old friends to be brought back together, again. I miss the adventures with Trysk, Barion, Shelu, Angela and Abi, The days when I first arrived and Kaizer and his wife took me to see the sights of Mistone...I long to see some people again, Monshira, who took me to dregar for the first time, whatever happens to these people who are so close at heart? but probably so far away in reality.

I can't complain, well about anything seriously. Life here in Krandor is good, I've got my fiancé Trysk, and all is well, although it's getting hard to drag him out of the local inn to do anything. It's definitely better than him being half way across the sea.

So whats next in life? I don't know, I just know I'm enjoying each day as it comes, even though Hlint haunts me of good and bad memories, these past few weeks watching people, has helped me realise it will always be my home away from home. I need to try and get together with Angela to discuss a lot really, it's been a long time since we have been able to talk one on one.

[Makashi]

For almost the past year now I've been up in Lar, mainly because of the plague like disease that infected the town, which seemed to have cleared up about a few months back, I would like to move back from the peaks, but on my return to Krandor I found the house, litterally torn apart.

Nothing was really where it should be, carpets torn up from the floorboards, bookshelves knocked over, the books half way across the room in some cases (No pun intended), The first thing I checked was to see if our expensive items in the home were all present, which suprisingly they were. It was more like some one had been searching desperately for something, rather than a general burglarly from the looks of things.

I instantly had a few suspicions of who it might be and why, and one of the people that came to mind was some one I had met days before, who was rude and generally very arrogant to, well everyone he spoke to. But it's a little strange for some one you've just met to instantly want to rummage around your house and not take anything. So I came to the conclusion it can't have been him.

I went back to Hlint hoping I could find some one who might be able to give me an idea as to why some one would do something like this, I spoke to Kyle and Ferrit, who had the same opinion as me, it didn't look like a normal break in, why would some one cause so much trouble, but not take anything of value, Kyle suggested that they could have been looking for me or Trysk, and not cared about the contents. They said they would keep an eye out for me, and I let them know I would be staying up in Lar until I know it's safe to go back to Krandor.

Besides this, there isn't really much exciting happening in my life, Barion has found himself again, and was very comforting to be around, knowing he's happier and as caring as he always had been. I do hope things work out this time for him, he deserves it.
Freldo's been keeping himself busy, keep bumping into him for brief chats and to get whatever gems I have on me at the time crushed up, which he's getting good at now, he also managed to confuse me so much I needed a couple of glasses of wine to stop trying to piece together what was actually said in the first place.
After stumbling out of the inn, not due to the wine in my blood, but the badger below the doorstep...Hlint's a strange place, I sat at the benches reading a book, was quite coincidental who turned up then, Celgar and Daren, not been able to speak with them both in so long, and we had a general chat about things, and had a laugh about a few things too!

I've spoken to Angela a few times about things and we went travelling for a while about a month back now, it was fun going about with her again.
I don't think I go adventuring enough anymore, it's like I've fallen distant from a lot of people, not spending as much time in Hlint and being able to go travelling with them as often as I'd like to. Though I'll always make the effort to go some where, when and if I can!

[Makashi]

People around hlint have been telling me that a couple of elves have been looking around for me, I think it has to be Sedis'ias, maybe Aegnor is still travelling with her, I can't be to sure. When I was heading home to lar, just before reaching the foot of the Grey peaks, A person I walked by turned around and said a message for you, hit me, when I came around I was being helped by a couple of friends, who had made a splint for my ankle, and was taken back to hlint. I'd broken my ankle falling over, and so went to the temple of ilsare to start my recovery.

When I was sat by Calise going through my pack for ingrediants for a potion I came accross a note, from Sedis'ias, saying she couldn't wait to give me the good news. I have to admit, I was confused at first it's a strange way to deliver a message like that...so I assume it's sarcasm...Why did she not just find me herself? I Don't know whats going on but theres a map some where, I need to check it out I guess.

[Makashi]

*the page of her book is covered in tear stains, a lot of the ink smudged and is quite hard to read in places*

I meet up with Callise at the temple of ilsare, after hearing from her she had a message for me, my cousin Elovin had arrived looking for me. She had travelled down from Voltrex after hearing about the murder of my mother... I have never felt that way before, I couldn't stop picturing her....and it sunk in straight away...I'm not going to see her ever again. And she'll never get to see all the things and people in my life that I'm now proud of...

Then Elovins words started echoing in the back of my head, 'when I heard your mother was killed', the thoughts spinning round my mind of who, how and why, all these things I just wanted to know, like in some way it would help bring her back...I just felt lost and confused. Then she carried on explaining, and finally metioned it was something to do with Sedis'ias. I didn't feel sad anymore...just angry, Elovin reluctantly told me where I could find some of her friends in Velensk.

So we all headed there and eventually found the place, Barion tried getting the door open for us, and it was left hanging on it's hinges, when guards turned up and demanded we showed a warrant. This delayed things a great deal and I found it hard to stay calm at some points, I think Barion was in a bit of trouble too. So we got a warrant and checked the place, Letters thrown about the place, on the floor, on desks, notes on where I've been spotted, places they have found out I visit often, lists of ways to kill me discretely, and publicly, all written by Sedis'ias...Elovin said she had gone mad and this was proof of how obsessive with killing she was becoming...it frightened me more when we could see some sort of ritual that had taken place, a corpse covered in blood, which had been used to open a portal, which meant lots of Air elementals coming out of it, until we closed the portal. And left, But there was proof that Sedis'ias had a meeting with some one in Leilon soon...

If I find her, I don't know what I'll do.

Killing her would give me satisfaction, I have to admit it, but not one I want to feel. I just want her to be unable to cause harm or pain to anyone, ever.
Taking her to be prisoned has crossed my mind, and then been dismissed, she has a lot of friends, and she'll be alive a long time, She'd eventually get out, and I would probably hear nothing of it. I don't want this ordeal again...

This whole situation has thrown some perspective into my life...Even though I am able to live many years, it doesn't guarentee I will. I need to look after myself and those around me to make sure I can help myself and others to enjoy what time they have. I need to step away from some things to be able to move on in my life.

[Makashi]

I visited the location on the map. I decided to go alone, as it was the way I felt to be honest. I arrived at the Rolling Hills I think it's called, near the iron hills and that lake. I found a small gravestone, and some flowers by it... the stone was my mothers. I began crying again, and just kept hearing her voice, all the things she'd used to say. I kneeled down and smelt the flowers, a scent so fresh some one must have placed them here recently. I then noticed a small box, I opened it to see a small piece of parchment rolled up, and very carefully tied.

I pulled the bow and unravelled the parchment. The first thing I saw, was my fathers signature at the bottom. My eyes gazed to the top of the page and I began reading.

"Dearest Vakéira,
Things in this world have changed since the days of us being youths. I can still remember the sparkle of the sun shining in your eyes when we first met, the smile that swept across your face, I'll remember the first time you spoke to me at the temple. That day was the beginning of our happiness together, yet I don't think writing for another life time would help me even begin to explain the happiness you brought me for over 600 years. Though your gone, the love we shared will live on, and everytime I pray to Ilsare, your face, your voice, the smell of your hair overwhelms my thoughts.

I did the one thing you wanted done if this day ever came, you trusted me to pick you this spot. Some where beautiful, and some where Ranéwin would be able to see you. The noise of the stream here, just reminds brings back a mountain of happy memories of us together, spending time together, learning, teaching, and raising our children.

The day shall come where I will too pass on, and back to your warm embrace once more. Each morning I wake up lost, empty, and desperate to feel your touch again. The pain of losing you this way will never go away until I am with you again, but I know what you would say to some one in my situation, 'So long as you are at peace with your heart, theres no moment in life you will not be able to endure, or to stop you finding hapiness in the beauty that surrounds.'

All of the people you taught, all the followers of Ilsare who knew you will miss you. I miss you.

E Ceela aey Vakéira."

Tears poured from my eyes as I read on, and I rolled the note up, tying it back up placing it back in the box. My father had left Voltrex this had to mean....and Sedis'ias was trying to lead me to the grave to let me know of her death is my assumption. I stayed at the grave all day, I just felt lost. I knew I was so close to my mother, I kept talking to her, just hoping she would respond. I cried myself to sleep there, and thats when it happened. I could hear my mother talking to me, I felt overjoyed with emotion, and she answered everything I expected a response too...She is still here. In my dreams and prayers, memories and everything I do that she taught me. Everything then seemed so much clearer. I awoke with that happy feeling but annoyed about waking up..I didn't want that dream to end.

I returned to Hlint, and saw the white robe and hair, she turned and I saw the pale skin. Cray. I hugged her so tightly, I had missed her so much. I told her the news and she talked to me for a while, eventually we went to her house, and she made me a key. She told me about what had happened with her recently, and about the whole Alantha situation. So I've got a good friend to stay with now, so hopefully it won't be as lonely when I go home, plus I know I can tell her anything and everything! I hope I get a chance to speak to her about whats going on soon when were both about whats going on in our lives.

[Makashi]

I've kept myself as busy as possible over the last couple of weeks. Practicing my alchemy, even learnt a few easier ways to make certain potions.

Lillian recently told Freldo to speak to me about how he felt, I think she could clearly see that we cared a lot for eachother. So he came up to me at the temple, and told me that he did still infact care for me the way he did a long time ago, maybe that did never change for him? I know that in my heart, he was always there, from the day we met travelling to firesteep, I knew that we would end up knowing eachother very well.

A few days after that, I was sat on the bench speaking to Lilly, and then I saw Trysk of all people, walking down the road. Lilly was asking me if Freldo was crafting, and I told her that he should be grinding gems, I was about to ask her to get Freldo, but she went off pretty quick.

Trysk sat down next to me and did his tiger impression, it brought back so many memories in a flash, but I stood up and told him we should speak some where a little quieter. I think at that point he must have known something was wrong, and I was thinking to myself did he even see the note I left at home? I guess not..we went to the temple of Ilsare and started talking, moments later Freldo appeared and gave me the gems he had ground up, and I introduced him to Trysk, then he asked me if I wanted to talk to him alone, which I did. So me and Trysk sat down in the grass, as we had done many times in the past, and I began explaining to him about why I left him, and the house in lar. I said about how when my mother had died, he was barely ever around to support me, that was what finally decided it, but over the last few years, we had grown further and further apart, as he spent more time working and drinking, and I spent more time venturing out and meeting a lot of new people.

He appologised and said he was sorry for any pain he had caused, and leaned in trying to kiss me, I just hugged him. He then made me feel a lot worse than I did for leaving him, the words he spoke 'your'll always have a place in my heart'. It made me realise a lot, that I had infact lost my fiancé, those times we had were memories. I finally felt like I had ended an era, a weight felt like it had been lifted from my shoulders, and placed on my stomach, I felt a bit confused at first, I'd no longer walk home and find this man? It was an odd feeling being honest, but I know it had to happen. Things between us were getting very distant, but I knew as well as he did, he would also have a place in my heart, forever. I then had to stand myself and walk away, as I paced from the temple towards Freldo's house, my vision got worse each step, from the tears building up in my eyes.

I got inside and just fell into his arms, a warmth suddenly came over me and things didn't seem so bad, but I finally had some closure on the situation. Me and Freldo spoke for a while after, and eventually went to sleep. He gets the couch, I get the bed.

[Makashi]

While I was on dregar, with Freldo we had just finished our trip around the desert and the forest, we decided to call it a day and walk back to Pranzis.

We reached the waterfall at Corax lake, and just stood watching the water, It was beautiful, so quiet and relaxing, I looked into his eyes and it made me feel so....at home, safe, cared for. We kissed, and with it, I could see the stars in my memories...thinking back to that night on point harbour docks where we first kissed many years ago.

It was like everything was perfect again. No, it is perfect again. We strolled back to Pranzis and then headed for home in Hlint.

A few days later Freldo told me he had to go on a trip. While he was away I decided to get some things sorted out that have been waiting to be done for some time, like move stuff out of lar, still, and into Cray's and Freldo's,
Shortly after this I bumped into Rain and we ended up going for a journey on dregar, Elohanna came along too. On the way heading towards Saudria from the silver mine, we bumped into Shamur, and decided to head up to the storm horn mountains, I for one needed the thistles, and the others said that they had not been, although Rain did recognise the place upon arriving.
Just after battle with the Ice Drake there, we conviently met up with a much larger group, I knew some of them, and lots of them I didn't. They were headed for firesteep, and ended up joining them.

We slowly climbed the mountain, and had a lot of issues along the way with getting people up the steep slopes some of the time. All was going well until we reached the gate, no one with us could pick the lock, so we were stuck there. And decided to turn back.
Why did that mage lead everyone the wrong way? He knew the place pretty well none the less, but I just remember him leading people to the jump before the mouth of Fisterion's cave. Some jumped accross. And thas when the slaughter began, Kobolds started attacking those that made the jump, and those that didn't watched helplessly, trying to do what little they could, I cast a few spells, but I knew that it wouldn't be enough to save them, One by one, they fell, and I saw the soul mother touch a few of them.

It goes to show even though we had done extremely well, one wrong turn here on Firesteep can change everything.

A few days later, after recovering from the shock of what I had seen on firesteep, Christine and Angelique were looking for something to do, so I suggested that we could go to Berhagen, Needing hops and all! So we went, and a couple of their friends came along. Everything seemed to be going fine, until the Maurs that is.
The first one that saw us charged eagerly, but we brought it down, I lead the others up to the hill near the cave, and could see quite a few giants below. We started fighting them, and then one of the maurs knocked me off my feet, just before I tried to heal christine, I got back up and healed her, telling her to run, but the giants knocked her back to the ground, leaving her there bleeding...others tried to help by running in, getting themselves caught up in the trouble, I kept trying to get everyone away from them, but they just seemed to stay trying to fight...I watched each of them fall, and turned back. I reached the top of the hill and got a very brief rest in, hoping I could help them all, When I went back, I could only see Christine and Angelique laying there, I helped them up, and held off a few giants giving me problems trying to get them back to Shoufal.

Don't think I've ever been as relieved as I was then for reaching the gate of the town.

After returning to Hlint, Freldo turned up, and told me to come home as he had a suprise for me. I was suprised, and excited really! He told me to sit down as he had been cooking a meal at the wild surge inn. A few minutes later, he carried in a platter, with a Cooked Ice Drak,e spices, and other bits! I was shocked that he could have even got an oven hot enough to cook one!
We talked while enjoying the meal, which I still miss the taste of now, mainly about some things in the past, and about needing to be careful now-a-days.

I need to start preparing for this trip to find my sister and her friends too, I mean it's been a bit quiet, not heard of anyone looking around for me, or had anything happen at all to make me even think about it...But each time I pass mothers grave, thats when I know I need to find her, before she finds me, or my father.

[Makashi]

Yesterday I spent some time with Rain and Dora on dregar, we just ventured around collecting bits from various places, and nearly ended up on another trip headed to firesteep after meeting with a different group, but we decided to stay and head to the iron hills, I didn't really want to watch a repeat of what happened last time.

When I got back to Hlint I sat with Freldo on the benches and met some one that Cole helped once, his name was Steel, but he didn't speak at all, not sure if he was shy or just didn't want to, or can't speak, him and Freldo went off to Sielwood cave to collect materials for crafting arrows. While he was gone I spoke to Storold about how things with him were, he also mentioned Nyyana was feeling better because, because of the help and support Angela gave her. Also found out who Storold was on about in the first place, I thought he meant he had fallen for Nyyana personally because they were both very close, but it was actually Mylindra! Didn't really know, but I do wish them the best.

When Freldo got back we went home and he said to me uncomfortably that he wanted to tell me something, I got that sinking feeling at the bottom of my stomach, and we sat down. I couldn't believe what he told me at first really, he's got children, five children. I was lost for words, confused and very disappointed that I didn't know before hand. Left me wondering if there was aything else he hadn't told me, and I really hope there aren't any more  suprises like this. We spoke for a while longer, and then we went upstairs to bed.

[Makashi]

Memories, the things we will continue to hold dear to us all.

A few days back now, I bumped into Barion in the craft hall,  he was with some one called JennaJade, she seemed very nice, and I could clearly tell from Barion's face that he was falling for her. He asked me how would feel if he told me he was marrying again, and I replied that I would give him my support, so long as he is following his heart.

A couple of days later I spoke with Jenna again, she seemed a bit concerned about her worthiness to Barion, and said that she needed to go away for a few days to prove herself, and gave me a couple of letters to give to Barion. Curiousity meant I had to take a peak at what was on the rolled up scroll. And also an enchanted flower to give to him. Her letter was very affectionate, and this time round, I truely hope it will all end well. Barion deserves happiness.

Not long after that me and Eghaas went to the Forest of Mists on Dregar, to collect some fire opals, I did need to get some other bits, but decided to get back to Hlint instead.
We sat on the benches by the bank and he asked if Shelu was my horse. It's still upsetting knowing Shelu won't be back again. I explained that Shelu was one of my closest firends, and about her being a priestess of Aeridin. Eghaas seemed more and more interested in her, and what happened. The story of her end I always find hard to tell, and whenever I hear some one else say her name, I miss her. A lot.

Eghaas then started asking about what the teachings of Ilsare, and then about what our views were on combat. Not an easy question to answer, well actually it is, anything worth fighting for should be fought for, be it eachother, or anything that threatens the beauty of our surroundings, the inspiration of so many things in this world, from Music to a simple painting. Natures beauty - The worlds muse.

Literally just as I started speaking about the things I would consider fighting for, Freldo turned up, and we talked a bit more about on this subject before Eghaas decided to take his leave. I asked Freldo if he had ever been to the Monastry near Karthy, at first I think he made the mistake of thinking it was the one at the lake of dreams.
We eventually set off to find this place I had not been to in many years, and what made me decide that I wanted to visit again was Angelique reminindmg me how beautiful it was. So we went. Upon arriving Freldo seemed amazed, I was too, I didn't remember how nice and peaceful it was there.

This time round though we decided to have a look around the monastry, I was worried that something was going to suddenly jump out and try to kill us. We looked around the place, and ended up in some truely amazing places. High in the peaks, when looking down we could just see clouds, oh and the bottom of a waterfall, a huge distance beneath our feet, we then had a look around a water cavern, and some very ellaborate halls, rmeinded me of the dwarven ruins I found myself in a long time back. The place where that big pillar stood in the middle with an ancient language scribed all over. So many memories flooded back about the story of the elves and the dwarves that lived in those hall once. I'm pretty sure it was where that dwarven village near not too far from the peaks South East of Fort Hope.

When we went back outside, we sat beside a waterfall, just talking. I can't quite remember how, but the topic turned again to Shelu, and again I explained it.
Freldo could see I was upset from talking about it, and the subject changed...He suddenly blurted out from no where that he loved me. My heart skipped beat, I paused and for that moment, Nothing could change how happy we both were. I then told him that I loved him aswell, and we carried on talking until just before the sky got darker. Freldo said he would cook a meal for us in Karthy, and I decided to sit here by the waterfall, just thinking and writing my thoughts.

E ceela aey Freldo.

*she closes her journal and shuts her eyes listening to the noises of the waterfall*

[Makashi]

Over the past few weeks I've been trying to avoid thinking about what Sedis'ias did... I still hear people mention their own mothers, and I feel like I've been cheated out of time with my own. I guess my way to deal with it has been taking long walks...really long.

At first I just wandered about dregar, I felt pretty lost to begin with, both with where I actually was, and how I was feeling at the time. I walked from one side, to the other, travelled south and north, and then did the bits between, I must have covered most of the continent, I found some interesting places, and even some memories which were forgotten.

After resting in the sanctuary within the singing forest I spoke to a few of the people there. One of the girls I was talking to asked me if I had ever been to the grove in Rilara, sounding suprised when I said I hadn't. She gave little help in pinpointing where this place was, but I didn't really care. She described it as a beautiful place, with a sad memory.

I strolled back towards Pranzis, just thinking about things, I've dragged a few people into something they need not be involved with, particularly feel bad about the letter which threatened Freldo aswell as myself...Though he said it's what he expected after looking about in Leilon. Upon reaching Corax lake, I tried something I never expected to find myself doing. I tried to fish. -Tried- but didn't catch a thing, that metal thing they told me to put in the end seems to do nothing...but after a while I did manage to get one, though no more than that. It was strange, because I actually did enjoy it, it was relaxing, and it did take my mind off of things.

I learnt something too. People need to take a step out of their daily routines, and just enjoy what life can offer, I see people daily, hurt, by their feelings or physically in pain, but it makes no difference to the things we can see, Sometimes the most comforting thing for a broken heart, can be the simplest of songs from a bird. And I'm going to start spending more time doing these things and enjoying what we can, while we can, these memories are the only things we will have one day.

[Makashi]

Well, after looking about Rilara, I did find the grove the girl in the sanctuary spoke of, and it was a much bigger suprise how beautiful it was when I did arrive, flowers everywhere, the place was alive with colours, I found myself just stood starring at everything around me, seeing the statues made me feel particularly, well, safe, happy, but frustrated at the same time, It reminded me of the bond between a mother and daughter, which is not broken, ever. But I was frustrated being taught this, and not understanding how Sedis'ias could break such a strong bond? I cannot understand, and don't think I will ever understand quote how she thinks or feels. So I just sat, and considered maybe that the bond was never broken? People say theres a thin line between love and hate, perhaps she did love mother so much, that she could not stand the relationship between them? I don't know...I just want to know why. I need to know what has caused my sister, once so close, to fall so far from us.

I eventually wiped my eyes of the tears and went inside the music hall, and just sat there listening to the band play. Everytime I heard the strings of the harp being plucked. My eyes felt heavier and heavier, and eventually I drifted off into a dream. I was at home, with mother, father, and Sedis'ias, we were out in the garden playing, my father joined in, and I remember us all suddenl stopping, mother was coming back from the temple, a smile upon her face as she waved. We both greeted her and she took us inside. The noise of the harp got louder again, and the last thing I can remember from the dream, was my mothers fingers, strumming the strings, plucking them from time to time as she sung us softly to sleep.

[Makashi]

I had a great knock to my confidence earlier on...A lesson well learned, and hopefully I'll be able to avoid any further similar mishaps. I had been travelling through the forest of Mist with Bee, as we were heading to corax lake, we bumped into Goldwin and Boon, they were going for fire opals, which I had just put into pack! So they asked if we wanted to go Frindahl, We also met Tegan along the way, which did give me a lot more comfort, knowing we would have a mage's support with us. I'd never actually been inside, and so I said yes to going, I knew they were both competent fighters.

We all got inside and snuck through to a door, but a shaman spotted us and they all began casting, suddenly there were 4 Balors in the room, making it very crampt, and making it even worse, all were starring our way. I didn't panic at this point, I kind of half expected something to happen, I could hear the noise of the shamans enchantments I've heard so many times before, and after they did summon the balors, I simply tried the reverse, and managed to send 3 of them back to where they came from...One remained but was quickly dispatched by the others, who also cleared the rest of the orcs in moments.

We then entered into a room, and Goldwin went to see if there were any orcs around, sadly quite a few spotted him, more than planned, and we found ourselves being overpowered, I fell to the floor, bleeding, and watched the others fall aswell...I then felt nothing for a moment, and awoke in what I consider to be one of the most dispairing places of all, before returning through a bindstone in the highpass fortress. So I went back to try and find the place of our falling, only to be shot several times by an orc archer....I thought I was walking the ethereal plane, but sadly, they didn't seem to think so.

I gave up hope and returned to hlint, exhausted, and felt a bit, well useless in the help I was able to give...everything seemed to happen so quickly.

However, despite this minor setback, Life is definitely worth living. Freldo and I have been doing a lot together,  Travelling to places alone, but confidently, just sitting and talking, and he made me the most beautiful Longbow made of Mahogany. He helped me from learning about the arrows, to the fine details of drawing and firing, and more importantly, trusting the arrow to do most of the work. I've been practicing a lot, and have become...fairly successful I'd say, sometimes I fire them a bit weakly, or just hit in the wrong places, or completely miss. But it does work. I know my mother would be proud of me finally using one.

I now sit here in Hlint waiting, still feeling rough from my trip earlier, but I know I'll soon feel better, and luckily I avoided the soul mothers grasp, I just hope Freldo's trip was more successful than mine. I miss him so.

I visited mothers grave again a few nights ago, replaced the flowers, and tried to hold back the tears, as I think some one was watching..I've finally come to terms I'm not going to be seeing her again, hear what she has to say about the things I'd tell her, and I'll never see her smile...but I can see the things shes done, to help shape who I am today, I'm thankful for her bringing me up how I was, and I hope she doesn't think she failed because of Sedis'ias.

I wish I could introduce Freldo to her, and thats one of the things that still hurts. I want that chance so badly to be able to show and share the happiness he's brought me, with them.

[Makashi]

I walked into Hlint earlier on, and as I passed the benches, I noticed a sight I recognised, I wasn't sure who at first, until I started going by, I turned to get a glance at her face, and it was Vivian....I've not seen her in almost 20 years. I was lost for words really, stuttered feeling all these emotions come back to me, I hugged her tightly, but the embrace was not what I expected, a bit one sided, and it was like the Vivian I knew had gone...She seemed very down, understandably too, she spent most of the years alone. No one should have to suffer by themselves, one of the things she taught me upon arriving in Hlint, She was always there for me to speak to when I needed.

I remember one day I was sat by the temple just crying, I missed home a lot, I wanted to go back, and I felt like I had been betrayed by a few of my close friends. She sat with me and shared so much with me, I talked to her for hours, and she made me feel better, and reminded me of why I became a priestess. It's just odd having the roles reversed, And I hope everything I have learnt while shes not been around, will be enough to comfort her. I have missed her unbelievably, and I don't think I realised that until seeing her.

Funny how her name comes up in a conversation, and then she appears. I wish it could be so for others too. I went to the temple in hlint and read the letter Vivian left for me. I felt even more saddened by her situation, and I really hope to see her soon. To be there for her like she was for me.

Please Ilsare, help bring happiness back into her life. Without her, I would have long ago been lost.

[Makashi]

*sits in the garden of the minaret writing some notes in her journal, occasionally looking up to the birds singing in the trees*

Last night I was in Hlint, and thinking a lot about of different things...How our lives have changed, how they havn't, and an idea for the future, that I can't seem to let go of. For years I have thought about it, but just kept it to myself. I've always helped the temple, and have always been there to help people that are in need of guidance, healing, or just a person to talk to.

I feel in tune with the community again in Hlint, like I know most of the passers by, all of the regulars, but recently I feel that the interest to the temple has not been as, well....The easiest way to put it, is things have changed since then. I find myself having to travel further and further from Mistone, but always have to return to do my service for the church. I don't mind the long journey, but need it be so long? I mentioned the idea to Freldo, about opening another temple, but I'm not sure how the high priests and priestess' will feel about this.

So I travelled towards the Symphony of the Minaret, and went to seek the high priest, to speak to him about my idea, and listen to any he might have. I had arranged to meet with him in the morning, after staying there the night. Sadly something came up meaning he was too busy to make the appointment. I guess I will have to try again soon.

On my way past leilon, I think I saw Sedis'ias...I rode by on my horse, and a couple of figures, starred as I passed, and then when I had gone by, they slowly stepped out into the road and stood there starring, still, making it quite clear they were watching where I was headed....Just before leaving the dock, I noticed one of these figures, peering from near the banks entrance... I really need to get this issue resolved, before she gets fed up of waiting, and decides to take action.

So close once...but where did I go wrong? I lost a friend dear to me, and in my memories, I will always remember those times, but I feel they have definitely been lost, and nothing I can do will change her mind about it...What will I have to do when she sees me, how she will react, all a mystery to me. I know one thing that is true though. My mother taught me to always trust your heart, even if there are things unclear in your head. I already know my heart wants us to make things up, but I still know that the love I do feel for her, is not one that will be returned. It's strange saying I love her, but I guess I do somehow.

[Makashi]

There are some choices in life, where you will not be the one able to decide the outcome. Sadly today has been one of those.

The day started like most other, and I went about gathering bits and pieces I always find myself need, mainly thistles and hops, after that I headed to Velensk, where we had all agreed to meet, to continue searching for my sister.

One by one they turned up, Freldo first fortunately, which meant we got to spend some time together before setting off, Rain then arrived, then Christine, and eventually Sir Barion turned up, He got his knighthood. I'm ever so proud of him.

We set off to leilon where we had our first lead, we knew the group working with Sedis'ias had been spotted there, but sadly unsure of the exact place. When we reached Leilon's docks, everyone was talking, and Rain noticed some one was watching, he realised we knew he was observing us, and soon took off running, Rain tracked his steps to near a house, where again he fled, this time however I expected him to try something like that....

I popped the cork from a flask, and drank the contents, Suddenly my legs could move faster, and I caught up with little effort, Never drank one of my potions of speed before, but seems they are very potent! I just charged at the elven male that was watching us, and tackled him to the ground pinning him for a moment, before letting him get up, after we had surrounded him.

The first thing I did was appologise for my actions, but then he said 'She knew you would come' I froze in horror thinking he was actually going to tell her we had arrived, I mentioned Sedis'ias, and asked if it was her, and he had no idea who she was, oddly enough he then smiled, saying everything on his card reading had come true. 'A women with a scared face would knock me over' I guess I did, I mean I was worried he was working for her after all. He said that she was waiting and expecting us, I asked who and he said Mother Hatame...I think that was her name anyway. So we proceeded to the Gypsies camp, as planned, and sat there was a group, an older looking lady with them. We sat, and she said we were late! Like I could help being late for something I didn't know there was a timeframe on! She first spoke to me saying, if I was looking for a cure for my curse, that she could provide me with a potion, that would cure me, but only for a short period, I slipped off the rest of my jewellery, and showed the curse in it's full, which she praised me for doing so, and I could feel Freldo gripping my hand still, which did reassure me quitea bit.

She moved on to say that my family was fuelled with Violence, Horror, and love...A sad statement, but a true one...My family has been torn to shreds by her, She then went onto say she was in leilon and was expecting me, the reason being , she had also told Sedis'ias things of the future...So she knew I would be there shortly...

Mother Hatame, spoke of my fathers sadness, how hw had left voltrex to lose all connections with his life, but was kidnapped by Sedis'ias, who know held him. She also kept saying 'Fear Grazird' I didn't know what she really meant, but I could only guess it was one of her brutes...The last thing she mentioned shook me to the core..'Only one of you will leave that place' I frantically started thinking of a way to get around this...to no success...
 
We walked past the leilon arms after being given the address from the old lady, and approached the building, we were sort of prepared outside, but Barion went to the estate agents to get a key, the place had been abandonned, well looked it, boarded up windows and everything.
Barion returned holding up a key, he then knocked, and some one shouted the doors unlocked, and to come in, it was a loud males voice, sounded quite scary. We finished preparing and went inside...

The room had about...10 people scattered around I'd say, and looking to my left, I recognised Sedis'ias and Aegnor straight away. I walked up and spoke to her, could feel the bitterness of everyword she spoke, like icey daggers digging into my very heart and soul, She kept stating things that seemed to brew up such an anger with in me, One I have never ever felt before. Hearing her voice took me back so many years, and so many thoughts passed by, in a what was just a fraction of a moment..

I could hear the waves lapping up against the shore line, I could see my sister, collecting shells, I stood by her side, picked up a smooth pebble...and skimmed it into the sea, watching the stone bounce, and the tiny splashes of water droplets, making a perfect circle ripple through the water, growing before fading away again. I turned to look at Sedis'ias, her eyes lit up watching the stone bounce, I picked up a stone for her, demonstrated how to throw, and she did...*a few tear stains make the line quite blurry to read* I watched her throw the pebble and it bounced three times...with each bounce she squeeked with delight...

I shook the thoughts of my past from my head, and looked into her eyes, that sparkle I saw in her eyes was long lost, and any sympathy in her voice, gone. I asked her why she had caused all this trouble, and put us through such misery. She said 'Thats simple, it's because of you' I couldn't believe her...how was it my fault? I didn't do anything wrong...her voice started whining 'Ranny this, Ranny that, I was fed up of hearing it' I felt sorry for her, some one that can't understand their own jealously, took things this far, my sympathy for her, soon was dessimated when she said 'Then I started to enjoy revenge, and thats when I decided to embrace it' I called her sick for what she had done, and then, I snapped, her words were too much for me to bare any more...her lips spoke 'Mother called out your name as she died'. *more tear stains making the writing extremely diffcult to read.*

I drew my sword, as she drew hers, and then it happened, I began casting, and her friends charged, I looked around to see myself getting charged, and got quite badly cut, I stumbled back, and healed myself, charging forward and attacking who was there. Slowly one by one, her friends fell, I turned to look at Sedis'ias, as Barion's sword appeared through her back, and I saw her lifeless body, slump to the ground as he drew it back out.

Falling to my knees beside her, I picked her up and embraced her tightly, crying, more memories flooded back to me, We were sitting at our home, eating a lovely meal, afterwards my father sat us both on a knee, and sang to us. I starred down at her bloody corpse, just wishing things had turned out differently. If only I stayed home, this may not had happened. I stroked the hair from her face and kisses her forehead, knowing it would be the last time I did. As I cried just hoping I could change what just happened, and I felt a thud on the floor., the vibrations shook through my knees, and wobbled a dagger, that lay beside my sisters hand. I looked up, to see Freldo laying there.
My heart jumped, and I felt sick to my stomach with fear I had lost him aswell, he had been stabbed by her blade, and looked very pale, the poison clearly taking it's toll, I propped him up against myself, and out of my pack I pulled a potion which I knew would have to help, I poured it gently into his mouth, and watched his eyes flutter as he became concious again. I didn't think things were going to get worse, but a loud scream from Chrissy reminded me, it wasn't over.

I stepped into the room where my father was held, and could see some sort of dark energy flowing around...Chrstine laying next to the bed, lifeless, and my father on the bed, groaning in pain, and looking worse for wear. I was very emotional, and struggled to hold my prayers together as I spoke them in elven, I looked around the rom, and used Ilsares blessings to disperse of the negative energy surrounding...I healed my fathers wounds, and brought Christine back from her sorry state.

I rushed to sit with my father, and just hugged him so tightly, the smell of his skin so familar, and again, with that smell, I could only think of times that once were, Happy times, with no cares in the world really. I was just overwhelmed with joy that he was alive, although he did not seem the happy man he was, but it's never going to be easy, knowing the love of your life has gone, and one of your children too...I understood he didn't want to be around anymore, but I made it clear, I didn't want him to disappear from my life again. Barion suggested the Minaret would welcome him there, and would be able to stay whenever he wished, he agreed to go and have a look, but he said that this land was not his, and wanted to return to the lands where he could live in his memories.

The Naissa, thats who he said was responsible for letting people there, and said he would appeal to be allowed home, I wish one day to be able to travel there, with no problems, but I told him my life was here, with Freldo, but I would love to go home, see old friends, places, my mothers garden. I think I should seek out these people and ask, but I plan on learning more first, and speaking to those I know who can go there at their on discression.

I introduced my father to Freldo, he basically said the same thing he said to me about Trysk after I sent him a letter, but he ofcourse understands the heart picks the people we love, and took Freldo's hand shaking it with both of his. We then went for a quick drink at the leilon arms, before taking sedis'ias corpse to Krandor, with my father, and we made arrangments for the burial.

I miss her already, but like my father said, her choice in life, was way beyond our control. I just pray she is now at peace, with mother.