a paladins thoughts

[silverblades]

I came to the temple today and prayed. I asked for wisdom. Wisdom with all ive gone through and thats been spoken to me. I prayed that someone would help me understand what is a champion and what does it take to be chosen by Toran. For i do his will I am his sword to carry out justice and meet injustices. and who should come into the temple but Michaelis.

 I heard  footsteps pass me as i knelt on the steps and saw him praying over the bindstone to Toran. I rose to his warm greeting and knew this was my answered prayer.
 We greeted each other and he asked me to sit with him at the steps to the alter.
well I asked him my question what defines a champion and who are chosen? He went on to tell me it can be equated with somewhat of a reputation.I said I desired to be one of the chosen no matter the cost. He grinned a bit at this statement and i felt that he too had made many such decisions that would be a heavy burden to follow this through.
 
I told him how there were shining lights for Toran, but sadly those lights have faded. they  have chosen things of the world over Toran. Sadly he agreed many have fallen to the hurt of the world.
 He said that Toran chooses his followers by issues of the heart for Toran knows there hearts are ready for the sacrifices they must make for his name.

He went on to tell me what faith is ..that it is fickle if you judge your worth by laws rules and reputation.
He asked me why i serve Toran, and i had only one though that has kept my hand steady through these years. To do that which is good that is all I know and that is all I care to know. He asked me why i serve Toran? and i had only one thought come to mind, to do that which is good and that it is all I know it is all I care to know.
He said My life would be devoted to toran, no family to call upon and a life of reaching into the dark places. Since i was adopted by teh church this is al I have known Toran has adopted me Now i feel i must adopt him not for following laws and regulation but out of Love and adoration. he said that i would be required to go into places that even the bravest of heroes fear to tread adn only one thing comes to mind, that i am here to serve ,"and so I shall", he said.

He also said that we are his followers and his hands we are his swords and he our shields, that by his will he moves us, then he confirmed mt prayers by saying that his will brought me here, I felt overjoyed in knowing that he guides my steps however small they may be.

I told him how i felt that Toran had tested me adn all that happened with Mylindra adn where my heart will go for that is what i called her ..my heart. afterwards he asked me what i felt called to do.
I said to be a shining Light in the dark places to polish the tarnished name of Toran into what it once was and to be a force of good in these dark times. to bring about a change in the church for the better.
He wished he has help such as I long ago as he has wished for the very same thing many times beforeadn went on to tell me about people who drive away those who wish change for the better.
He went on to tell me about 2 types of people that drive away followers, The Obvious, drunks and debaucherers and those that follow torans dogma without understanding why they do. These people have not prepared themselves  for the times when they will encounter a situation where there is no real right answer, no clear way to prevail the line between black adn white never fades and while admirable can drive people away.

I looked down at my arms upon the tatoos that i put there long ago. So sharp and contrasting they were when I got them clear and defined just as he spokeof ., But now they were aged and fading, where once was black and white now a black ran into the white,and vice versa, around my forarms it went circling it on each side, but now it had turned grey, white bleeding into black and black into white. Im starting to understand that between black and white there is a grey area. that which is neither right or wrong. And I go on to wear such a reminder. One on each arm. the arm that carrys his shield  as I am his sword.  

[silverblades]

........continued.
Just then i noticed Quantum cone into the temple and say sa short prayer and come over to Michaelis and I. He asked to sit beside us and greeted Michaelis as if they were old friends. I dare think the places that they have traversed In Torans name, just as Michaelis spoke of as well going places where  ever great adventurers dare tread.

Well anyways I told  Michaelis about what Lyons had said to me, "not caring about what others think of you but what Toran thinks of you."
after i told Michaelis this he said Lyons was correct, that we need to protect the people of this world should they wish it or not, and also to instill confidence in them as their protectors and our churches as there safe havens. As a Champion you may be hated more for what you do is inconvenience to there lust and greeduntil the time comes where you are needed by them. But then our duty is not to expect reward or praise, because it happens all to often he said.
I commented that I've seen honest people from those i expected it not. Just then Quantum mentioned the name Hurm.. I asked him what was that all about, and he retold a story of a party going to revisit a black dragonhe was in this party and chose to leave thinking that the dragon would harm the people of Hurm, and knowing he would get arrested when he returned to Hurm. Well his story goes on that he was arrested but later let out to protect the poeple of Hurm when the dragon attacked it. after the dragon left the city Quantum returned to the guards and they promptly threw him back in jail.

Apparently Michaelis wasent aware of this and wanted further details, well the two talked long about an Oak tree, pirates, Driuds a treaty of some sort, a cauldron, and some nature seeds, all of which i was thoroughly confused by this time, I said a silent prayer for wisdom in these matters of great importance. Well afterward Michaelis wanted Quantum to file a full report wit hthte church and asked to retire for the evening. I stayed at teh temple and prayed after the two had left and thought on all we had talked about.

In my silent prayers i know not what my future holds but i pray i can uphold the name of Toran  as these two great leaders have done thus far. Alas my writing hand grows weary until the next great adventure in the life of one paladin ..of Toran.

[silverblades]

A very blessed day today indeed.

I have been given a whistle and a saddle by the church apparently for a powerful warhorse. I bowed my head in deep respect to the priest who gave me these items of great importance, and he bowed lower than normal to me, apparently these are not given to everybody but only those who are in good standing and well respected within the Church. Perhaps it was Quantums doing I though, but I know I have been faithful in every respect to the faith and been given a great power because of my devotion.

as always I remain faithful, helping those in need for noble causes and leading in battle small groups for Road patrol..Namely Mando, of course, Durgen, a faithful mage of sorts Chickory, a friendly Druid, Malo a follower of Deliar of which concerns me as he left the party last night after collecting the gold found amongst the killed. I hhad truly started to trust him but i see his true colors are showing.
  I also lead Chino into combat on many ocassions, a mace weilding Cleric.

Oh our road patrol outings I often find myself charging into battle on many ocassions only to have the party behind me getting pummeled by monsters that should be attacking me.. I have been on my own for so long i dont take them into consideration, this is something i must work on if i am to be a leader whom others look up to, and trust going into battle. It is usually Mando and I that are the only ones but this has changed, so I too must change.    

[silverblades]

Time has crept into my life like the ever present close of a day, when light fades away and the darkness creeps in. WHen the birds of the trees make their nests for the gathering gloom to come , The night, how long will it last and whne will the light of day prevail over the darkness as darkness has crept over the light.
Such a day was today  a feeling of Despair, of loss, of feelings of hopelessness as my friends and comrads of long days past vanish from my sight, where have they gone , and will they ever return.

months pass as Mando and wander the lands of Dregar searching out and clearing what giants we can to protect adn defend the lands of hard working folk only to find the giants have returned. As it seemed a hopeless cause I returned to Mistone only to find a woman whom I took to fancy before  ileft for Dregar long ago. Her name is Laaren, she is quite a woman to gaze upon and by chance I was told that she was looking for me while I traveled abroad.
I must say I was quite taken back knowing this as I seemed lost in my thoughts as the loss of comrads in arms comes to mind ocassionally.

I often find myself looking for her and her sweet songs and battle hyms and healing powers, her voice is as sweet as fresh honey and her hymns stir my soul to rise in power.

Weve taken dinner together after I asked if she had any suitors after her, finding out only one and he never showed up for the dinner.
We think alike about common things, she finishes my sentence and I finish hers its really quite strange to describe our relationship, I hope it blossoms further.

Laaren wants t otake me out for dinner and she picked a place that Mylindra and I went to, I didnt have the heart to discuss our once relationship and thankfully it didnt come up as laaren and I were with a small party when we up on that hill.

[silverblades]

Fond memories come through my mind as Laaren continues to be more a part of me. I've called her "love" on one ocassion only to play it off as as verbal mis-spoken word for laaren, though I dont think she minded.

We went with a party and I Felt her hand touch my knee as we sat and talked to a Druid and a few others that Laaren journies with and It felt wonderful, it was a touch that I never felt with Mylindra, it was her way of saying , "Im safe with you and your safe with me and I trust you", thats really the only way I can explain it.

[silverblades]

hard battles and return to home finds none other than the Protector of the great Oak Rizome standing there, him and only him looking at the walled city. we spoke on the wisdom of this great oak and we walked and talked about the many changes in the Mistone area as he haden't been here in ages. As we walked together we came to stormcrest crossroads and I said that I often looked for him ther wher he could share his great wisdom of the great oak and give people a greater understanding of this world around us, I shared with him my understanding of what the great oak give us , it would be as if I went into battle without my breastplate if I were not to defend the Great Oak I would surely die my heart easily exposed as the Oak is life to use we are its protection as it gives us life.