Author Topic: Australia to dominate Ashes series! (Read 3418 times)

Pseudonym · « **Reply #20 on:** December 07, 2006, 10:10:40 PM »

Q. What do Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason.

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.

Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat.

Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
A. An all-rounder.

Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones have over the rest of their team-mates?
A. At least they can say they're not really English.

Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?
A. Because he was born in England.

Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

Q. What's the English version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English team?
A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.

Pseudonym · « **Reply #21 on:** December 17, 2006, 10:13:13 PM »

Quote

Stephen_Zuckerman - 11/10/2006 9:24 AM

England will in fact keep their hold onto the ashes of English Cricket. *Sticks out his tounge.*

Good prediction Stephen!!!

*laughs maniacally*

3-0

LordCove · « **Reply #22 on:** December 18, 2006, 12:01:18 AM »

*climbs up to a clock tower with a rifle, waiting for Pseudonym to walk past*

Niles09 · « **Reply #23 on:** December 18, 2006, 01:14:11 AM »

why would anyone want to win some ashes?

CHAzz · « **Reply #24 on:** December 19, 2006, 12:49:55 AM »

........you didn't really just ask that, did you?

Niles09 · « **Reply #25 on:** December 19, 2006, 01:49:02 AM »

heh heh sorry I couldn't help it

Pseudonym · « **Reply #26 on:** December 21, 2006, 04:31:47 AM »

Warnie, sure, you are a tool, but the game will never see your equal again.

Falonthas · « **Reply #27 on:** December 21, 2006, 07:44:18 AM »

did the cricket die
not sure i follow why its sad or its being cremated

Pseudonym · « **Reply #28 on:** December 21, 2006, 10:37:00 PM »

The Ashes ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ashes

Warnie ... think Gretsky, Jordan, Tiger, Joe Montana (?) and The Babe all rolled into one.

Pseudonym · « **Reply #29 on:** December 28, 2006, 02:20:58 AM »

4-0. I really truly almost feel sorry for the English. Almost.

Stephen_Zuckerman · « **Reply #30 on:** December 28, 2006, 08:48:05 AM »

Yeah... I'm starting to feel that way, too, Pseudo.

Dezza · « **Reply #31 on:** December 28, 2006, 02:45:23 PM »

4 nil, 4 nil, 4 nil, 4 nil!

LordCove · « **Reply #32 on:** January 03, 2007, 08:27:38 AM »

*straps Dynamite to the thread and blows it up*

Invent you're own bloody sport then!

*walks away with a grin as bit's of the thread fall all around him*

Typical, the English invent a sport.....invite the World to play it, and end up being the worst at it......

....we should be like the American's, invent Baseball......call the Tournament the World Series.....but don't let any bugger else play incase we find we're crap at it too.

Polak76 · « **Reply #33 on:** January 04, 2007, 02:07:37 PM »

Well we're on the eve of a complete 5-0 wipe-out. England second innings with 5 out and taking on water, with the aussies plugging more holes to the sinking ship.
It's actually got quite boring, but then it's nice to see Warnie & "ooh ahh Glen McGrath" leave the stage on such a high.

For all you poms you might want to think about following another sport....erh...then again not much luck over there either. Stick to drinking!!

Peace...

Pseudonym · « **Reply #34 on:** January 04, 2007, 02:36:50 PM »

Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came out - Fireman, policeman, salesman, builder, IT whatever etc. but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about His father.

"My father is an exotic dancer at the pink pelican club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and gives them dances. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll ... he'll *sob* ... he ..." At this point little Billy cannot continue.

The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Billy aside to ask him if that was really true. "No" said Billy, "He plays cricket for England, but I was just too embarrassed to say..."

Polak76 · « **Reply #35 on:** January 04, 2007, 05:19:49 PM »

hehehe....nice one!

Pseudonym · « **Reply #36 on:** March 27, 2007, 10:04:36 PM »

World Cup time, thought it appropriate to dust off this thread in order to give us Aussies the opportunity once again to laugh at those unfortunates on this server living in England, NZ and South Africa ....

.... oh yes, I have a good feeling.

Run Mssrs LordCove, Aragwen, Tanman, mixafix, etc ... run ... but you cannot hide from my amusement and ridicule!!!

Pseudonym · « **Reply #37 on:** April 29, 2007, 08:50:32 PM »

*bump*

Far be it from me to gloat but ... Australia win the real World Cup/Series!!!

So said because there is actually more than one nation invited to participate!

scifibarbie · « **Reply #38 on:** April 29, 2007, 08:55:22 PM »

First off....crickets are used for bait!

Secondly and most important...and your all bloody crackers!

aragwen · « **Reply #39 on:** April 30, 2007, 05:17:54 AM »

*grumbles*

Yeah yeah....give credit where credit is due.

Well done Australia.

At least Layonara win as well.
Pseudonym the bet I lost, is on the way to Leanthar

*grumbles walking away* just wait....the rugby is coming