B.F. A mans thoughts.

[jan]

I decided that Abigail needed a break , i told Rain and the school in Haven that she would be away for a week and after putting  some off her things in a bag  i took her along.
She was surpriced but exited and looked at me with big , big eyes.*smiles*

I took her on a tour i used to frequently walk , my fruit and berry gathering tour for the guild.
We shipped to Mariners Hold and from there we started walking .
Took us a week to reach Karthy  and after telling her and showing her that slaves are sold there she - as i - wanted to leave town asfast as we could.

I let her lead on the way back and she realy has learned things.
Almost with out a mistake she led us back to Mariners Hold within one and a half week *grins*
I'm proud off my little girl and i told her that .
The nights we spend under the stars i filled with stories about her mother and i even told her some of my adventures.*grins*
She was very interested in both her mother and in the tales i told her about the dwarven clans i have helped over the years.
She admitted to me that Dalan wants to teach her the dwarven language and i told her its her decision if she agrees.
I felt happy and sad returning to the house , happy to see Jenna and the twins...sad because my special time with Abigail was over for now.

The Guild.

Voon has joined us and Kurgin has returned to the guild.
Soon the meeting will be and then we'll start planning a few things i hope.

Been called by Rain and his guild to aid in a matter and i promissed to them that myself and Serissa will do our best to aid .

Still looking for somethuing that M'Lady Jennara is searching ..cant tell too much about it , but i will try to get the aid of Quantum to search the library of The Shining Hand .
Seeking information seems to be the only way that we can pick up the trail we seemingly have lost for now.

The aiding a wizard to regain his honour has suddenly turned out to be something completely different . we now hunt the wizard but need to solve a few things before we -maybe- get our hands on him.
He tried to kill his househelp and for that alone i would like to see him in court ...Pranz court if i can help it .

[jan]

*Barion picks up his journal and walks to the pond overlooking Haven City , he seems restless in a way and sits with his back against a tree pondering.
After a while he opens his journal and starts to write , carefully weighing the words he pens down *

Many things are happening , many things have happened.
Some are good things , some are not so good , some will be easy to solve , some will be impossible to solve with out bloodshed.

Helping M'Lady Jennara.

I have searched whats left of the library off The Shining Hand.
Quantum has been saving books from the Pranzis library and they are either in his houses or in the Toran temple in Llast.
No information i could find in the books how ever that can help us on our search for the book.
I hope the others have had more luck in their search off the libraries across the lands.

The guild.

We have finally had our meeting and talked about the things that were long overdue to talk about.
Lots of decision we have made and the guild will be putting up posters soon.
We figured out most prices for things and agreed on a repeating day to go out as a guild to get things we need.

Some one that has broken in too The Angels guild has been breaking in our guildhall too we think.
Twice we either got robbed or were attempted to be robbed.
The first time all that has happened is the fact that materials for light armors were stolen from a chest in the storage hall.
The second time was a bit different....i met the one that was looking through my personal chest in my personal room at the guild.
It turned out to be a dark elf , a dancer off shadows.
A formidable opponent matching me in a one on one fight till i remembered my training i perfected by sparring with Abigail *sighs softly at the thought off his lost friend*
When i entered my defencive stand , the dark one found he couldn't surprise me as easily as he had done up until then and when M'Lady Serissa came looking at the sounds he decided to flee.
We followed him out of the hall and out off town , cornering him against the outer-walls .
I managed to wrestle his weapons from his hands before he got away , hope they can give us a clou as to the identity or the place we can find this dark elf and his partners.

A crystal ring.

Somehow we got caught up in the search for a crystal ring.
Master has had a visitor in our shop , on the wrong side off the counter.
A figure asked him if we had a crystal ring , a ring not radiating magic but still holding magical abilities.
Among those involved in being asked for this ring are a people i talked too and people i haven't met yet , but all seems to point in the same direction.
M'Lady Kinai's life has been threatened and so is Mister Sallarons .
When i can find the time i will investigate this further.

Nature's bowl.

A group was gathering at the fountain in Hemp so i went looking why they were .
Once there i saw Mister Jacchri and a priest of Mist exchanging a bowl.
It turned out to be the bowl that the druids have been looking for for a long time.
Mister Jacchri al went ..ermmm..."nuts" is the only word i can think off here .... praising Mist for getting the bowl .
I told them to "screw Mist"...i asked several times how they got h bowl and finally after three or four times asking i got some sort off answer.
I told them that exchanging a bowl like that , wanted by people , dragons and higher powers in the middle off a town populated by lots off innocent people wasn't too smart.
*grins* The priest of chaos asked me if i never had made a mistake and i answered that i never had made one that endangered a complete city.
A dragon is ..or rather ..was ..after that bowl..and its very possible it will pay a visit to the city.*sighs*
From the gathered crowd a stone was hurled ...it hit Mister Jacchi ..resulting in him dropping the bowl ..shattering it on the stones.

Of course both he and the priest of the seahag went "we will protect the city if the dragon comes"
"Brisbane and every nature follower will rise in the defence off the city "
"Mistites will be in the front line protecting this city"and more off that yadda yadda yadda.

*squeezes his quill in anger*

Nature lovers defending a city ...they seem to think city's are abominations ...not natural and therefor not worth to visit...Mistites defending people of town they ..with the help off one off their own priests ...have endangered in the first place.

I guess it points out the intelligence off both the priest off the hag and Mister Jacchri ...if they had half a brain they would have exchanged the bowl in a forest ..or better yet ...at The Big Oak with Rhizome to take the bowl under his care.

But nooooo...lets exchange it in the middle if a town ...showing all by holding up the bowl for about an hour above your head ...praising The Seahag loudly to tell every one that is even slightly interested that the bowl has been found ...if i can i will hold both to their words ...they will be standing in the front-line if the dragon comes to visit looking for the bowl.

Life threat.

M'Lady Serissa and myself have been traveling with Quantum for a while , he showed us both places we have never been before and we had fun.
Quantum took us to a strange place ..it turned out to be Brisbane's personal Grove or something.

Since i cant forget how Brisbane abandoned Quantum in a time off need....

Since i cant forget the information given to me by Rain  long ago showing clearly that Brisbane is only interested in the things that concern her personally and doesn't give a  about others up to the point hiding the possession of a seed that was looked for by many and allowing excursion to find that seed being planned to retrieve the seed ...putting people in lifethreathening situations ....while the seed in question already was in her possession.

Since i personally find Brisbane a person that will put down the people she doesn't like in a waterfall off words , making sure they cant get a word in to defend or reply to accusations by simply overwhelming them with so-many words they get confused.*grins*..."strange that a druid living in a grove can talk soo much ..guess she practices her speeches to the fullest in her grove to be sure no one can answer in time"

So when i knew where we were i refused to rest their ..i took a look to a tree that was planted to honor Quantum in a time long past and left not able to get myself to rest in a place that appearently belongs to a person i despise.

I guess M'Lady Serissa has done something wrong there , for a few days later she came to me showing me a letter...
*a wrinkled piece of writing is inserted here *

 Should you come into my grove again I will kill you until the soul mother has had her last taste. Being you are a follower of a god of Law tresspassing should not be an option in your mind anyhow but tread on my home again and I will see to it that even your god will have nothing to do with you

~Brisbane

*He sighs deep ..his veins in his neck can be seen as he clearly is nearly exploding with anger...he makes himself control his breathing and after calming down he continues*

The crazy druid in my eyes has gone too far now ..way too far ...thinking you own a forest is something that can be frowned upon in itself...threatening a person brought there by her husband to show a tree named after him gives a clear look into the mind off one that has lost feeling with reality in my eyes ..
A sain person would seek out the ones that in there eyes have done something wrong and confront them with it ...maybe even put in an official complaint about said persons to the authorities ...but a death threat ...clearly stating that "after done , not even your god wants to have anything to do with you " stating that to a priest  is even more ridiculous.

Until this day i wonder why the "mighty "Brisbane hasn't send me a letter ...i was there ..i was trespassing ...why not send me a threat ?....this gives me the feeling she is a coward ..guess she knows i will search for her if she sends anything like that to me ..guess she knows i will call her out in public to stand before a crowd and attempt to kill me ...

*he puts down his journal and walks away to put his head in the pond ..trying to get rid off the angry feelings that are building ..that are threatening to overwhelm him ..*

I made a promise to M'Lady Serissa ...and i will keep that promise ...if the crazy druid ever raises a finger to harm her in the way she is threatening with in her letter , i will hunt the druid and bring her to court ...either that or have her on the tip of my blade ...dragging her sorry butt to Prantz to be trailed.

Editted: Toran temple still stands in Llast , not in Wayfare *blushes*

[jan]

*Barion takes out his journals and reads them both , he sighs and ponders a few minutes before he takes up his quill and starts to write calmly *

The journal tells my live and adventures, but even i get side tracked with the writings jumping from things happened to thoughts i wrote down.
I'll take a shot to try and get some flowing writing here to describe my life and give you , my daughter , an easier time to read this.

*he attaches a little piece off paper on the top off the page and colors it blue with gold , "in short "he writes on it and starts to write*

Your father is ,or was depending on when you read this , a simple man.
When my training started i was a little boy , new to the world after living on my parents farm and not used to anything in the larger places ,like you must have felt when i got you out off the village.

After the fight with my brother and me leaving home , i found a sponsor in a lady that was willing to pay for my training , only requesting from me that i pleased her physically .
I was young and new to that kind off things, that is why i agreed to being her toy so long ago, to be able to pursue my dream of becoming the greatest fighter ever.
My mind was set on becoming the greatest and i trained hard for that.
Then i was ripped away from everything i knew and put on this side off the world.
"dragoncalled" they called us , our reason to be here was to destroy a threat called "Synthar Blood"
In groups we trained to become strong,strong enough to have a slim change to destroy this "Blood"

That is when my focus shifted, from a fighter only caring to be the best to a man with a heart and feelings , fighting to save his friends and the people from a fate worse then death.

Your father met Shelu U'Ularune...my soul-mate as we were told by an Avatar from Aeridin.
She gave her last soul strand in an attempt to get your father a wedding-present and left this world one day before the wedding.*sighs and swallows hard, keeping his feelings closed in to try and keep his focus on the writing itself*
From then on your dad was a broken man, functioning but broken..a piece off my heart gone forever.

Friends i had back then helped to get me out off the deep hole and with their help i crawled up , but ......
Your father had changed my daughter..no longer was i happy man i was before.
In my search for that happiness i hurt people , friends at the time that i have driven away by loving them in ways that were not possible.

Ireth , Dorena and even Abi , i drove them off with the smothering love i must have made them feel nearly throwing myself at their feet just to try and find a little off the loving feeling i had found with Shelu.

Then i found myself rejected , rejected for they seemingly liked to play along until it became more them a prank.
Blow after blow my heart suffered , until i decided to stay alone and become what i am destined to be , or thought i was destined to be.

Life is strange and cruel my daughter , for after i finally decided living with another wasn't for me , i found Sabrissia....or rather..she found me.
War was close and the time the "dragomcalled "..ready or not ..would go to face Blood was close , when i met this beautiful sorceress.
She captured my dwindling spirit and with the inner-fight that resulted in my heart she made me feel again.

Long have we dated and finally we decided to get married , but destiny struck again....
On a travel to me through the planes she was caught and held prisoner.
For over ten years i have searched for her , but she was in the one place i could not search , the planes.*sighs softly*

Ten years it took to get myself to know i would never find her , thinking her dead.

Then i met your mother , a simple trip showing her the lands resulted in your mother and me sharing our stories , strangely enough i wasn't looking for anything but a friend and your mother was not looking for anything more either i think.
The talks we had grew deeper and more intense , we both must have felt the same , safe and at home , understood by one that didn't judge but listened and comforted.
It took a while until we both gave in to our feelings and became a pair , both not wanting to rush things , both wanting to be sure before opening up to each other and again run the risk off getting hurt deeply.*smiles softly*

The love we shared can be seen in you my daughter , for you truly are the result of two people loving each other no matter what happened or what was tried to drive us apart.

You scare me my daughter , for you are an almost perfect copy off your mother.
Stubborn , investigative , not used to the harsh life out there.
Your mother fell the last time in an attempt to help others , an attempt that in my eyes she shouldn't have undertaken .
There were others with her , but she didn't notify them and went off alone to aid one that was struggling to stay with the group , resulting her to get caught alone in the middle off an ambush.
With her friends too far away because she went off without telling them she didn't stand a change and her friends could not reach her in time to change her fate that day.
Her actions still hurt those there at times i think and her smile and laugh and wise words still are missed by all that knew her.*sighs deep*

Again your father was crushed , but this time i had you my daughter my love for you kept me going and i didn't fall as deep as i have fallen before.

In an attempt to ..*ponders deep*..run ..from the evil world i moved with you to the village , to find rest and peace and a place i was needed.

Being there with you growing up has been the safe and peaceful haven i seemingly needed and has softened up your old father a bit.

My work for the guild ensured i still kept up to date with the goings on in the world and was the thing that kept me in touch with the people that i know are my true friends.

Then i met JennaJade...*smiles*...
The first words i heard from her i never will forget..."I need a man that gives me five children to help rebuild my house"*grins a bit*
My first thoughts i never told her , but it was along the line off "That woman is mad "
We kept running in to each other and ended up talking long hours together.
Slowly feelings started to develop and we both were caught by each other .
My love for her is true and deep and her love for me matches it.
Your brother and sister are the proof off that and i hope that by now you know that her love for you is as big as the love she has for me and your brother and sister.

You will hear things whispered about your father in the streets my daughter,
anything from accusing him to have killed hundreds in a peaceful grove till him being an old fool that has lost touch with reality .
How those stories come about you will ask...the answer is simple .

Your father has a memory that holds the things he endured and the things he feels are not to be forgiven.
It is true what they say , your father has a hard time to leave the past be and start anew.
It is part of me that i remember why and how i became what i am today , as it is part of me that i will not forgive people for what they have done and for what they have caused .
In that regards the people are right my daughter , your father holds his memories dear and that is the reason he cant forgive others for what he holds them responsible for.*sighs*

If only your father could forget..if only he could be more like others...shrugging and forgetting themselves ..changing their lives and expectations simply to fit in and be liked by those they think are powerful.

Your father can not and pays for that by being ignored by many , but remember my daughter..in times like the ones your father is undergoing ..true friends will rise and the weak and cowardly that follow others for power will in the end fall to their greed and hunger to be liked.

Stay true to yourself and the true friends you will find my daughter , care for your family and holds the true friends dear, for live is hard if not in company off those that love you for who you are.

[jan]

*barion sits down and sighs deep before he starts to write*

What an i doing here on this world?

Why am i still alive?

What am i seeking?

What is left for me to find?

Why should i go on living?


These thoughts haunt me now for a few weeks...and to be honest ...i don't have the answers.

Thanks to Brisbane and her friends , changing and enhancing a story , i get shunned by nature lovers...the story ranges from me killing hundreds to me damaging the druids Grove.

The Gods seem to be after me themselves...no step i can take or i feel watched ...because I'm honest to others not many will travel with me.

For the first in a long time i died ...immediately followed by a visit off The Soul mother...seems she is following me as-well.

The God i still follow with all my heart...Rofirein...His Church has taken a decision that i cant live with ...if Rofirein Himself agrees with it , i will turn my back on Him.

Loved ones are growing up and seemingly growing away from me..
Abigail listens more to Dalan then she seemingly does to me....
JennaJade is staying in the house to care for Trinity and Barion JR....
I'm left on my own to travel and gather things for the guild.
I'm a fool and not worth my rank in The Knights, for i am involved in ways with a woman that i should not be ..but i cant resist the urges or the feelings we both have for each other.

The Guild.....Voon seems gone a lot...
Serissa has locked herself in the temple and isn't coming out, i doubt she ever will.....
Kurgin is working hard but i never seem to have time to travel with him...
Tegan ...Lovely Tegan ...she still holds a piece off my heart but doesn't seem to realise it....she has a man in her live and i am glad for her..or would..if i could trust the man ...seems every time i meet him hes in the company off the same woman...a woman that has lied to me earlier and therefor one i don't trust....
Celgar...haven't heard or seen him in years ..and frankly ..i don't think i miss much...
Quantum ...Seems Quantum has a hard time with Serissa in the temple ..seems he only comes out off the house if he really has to.

What is left for me...why am i still breathing ...why ...??

I'll figure out the answers ..and i don't find any ...then my life is useless and i will give the Gods their way ............

I will make a last will soon ..just to be sure ...lets hope those i love get a better and fairer shot at living then i now seem to have .

*Barion closes his journal and seeks the peace off the village he buried Sa'Kura in ..sitting at the foot off the tree he planted on her grave he starts on his Last Will*

[jan]

*Barion sighs deep as he receives a letter with the official stamp off The Knights on it and reads it*
*With a sorrow look on his face he takes out another letter and his journal and sits down to write*

The will i still am working on , since i cant make up my mind as to how to distribute the belongings i will leave in this world.

I have sought answers from the Commander i directly answer to and i cant say that the answer i got has made my decision on anything easier.

*two letters are neatly folded inserted here , one with "To Sir Brethen Parth "on it , one with "His answer"

To Sir Brethen Parth :

Sir Brethen.

I would like to know how The Knights look upon the decision of the church and The Golden Voice , to accept Broegar as rightful ruler of former Prantzis and the suggestion that Rofireinites will help in executing the laws he has installed.

With many lost in the defence off the town itself ,against this dwarf, i cannot and will not aid him in any way , if the Knights as an organization stand behind the decision made by the church i request to be relieved off my title and function and my name to be removed from any list that would indicate that i am or once was a part of an organization that stands shoulder to shoulder with individuals responsible for the loss off life of many off its members.

Maybe i am an old fool , but in my understanding we as Knights are sworn to fight injustice and stand up against any that with force gains ruler-ship over others.

Humbly waiting on your reply:

Unit-captain , Barion Firesteed.


His answer :

Unit Captain Firesteed.

I trust my letter finds you in good health. I, however, am distressed at the contents of yours, as well as your distrust in His Holy Honour Barvanth Hiramun III, the Golden Voice of Justice, Rofirein's representative on our world.

As Sire Hadris Warden once did to the Kngiht of his time, I remind you of your oath, Unit-Captain, to follow the path set by our Lord's will. None can know this path, the only one with a glimpse of it is our Golden Voice.
However, even without knowing the path, we all know that it will never be a straight one, nicely paved, without any forks in it and easily trod.

No, Unit-Captain, in these dark times, the path will be long, perilous and clouded by shadows. There are many forks in the road, and only by the light of the Lord Protector can we hope to reach our destination of law, impartial judgment and order in this world.

Keep the faith, Unit-Captain Barion Firesteed, and read the declaration of His Holiness once more and consider its words and implications.

The four Divisional Knight Commanders of the Knights of the Wyrm support His Holy Honour Barvanth Hiramun III, even if we can not always fathom the larger plan of the Lord Protector.
I suggest you do the same.

Your request to be relieved is denied, in these dark times, we need all our Knights.

Have faith, Unit-Captain,

Sir Brethen Parth
Divisional Knight Commander for Mistone

*Barion reads both letters over and over softly mumbling
"What am i to do ....what am i to believe....is it really true that The Golden One has sided with Broegar ....is the church wrong in its interpretation of the signs The Golden Voice has had ....what am i to do ...." *

[jan]

*Barion walks around on Dregar ..his eyes red from crying and his face saddened.
With great anger he kills the kills the giants he meets and finally sits down near the gates off Prantz.
There he makes a small camp and starts to write in his journal.*

Finally the decision has been made ......after another discussion , nearly ending in a fight, with Jenna .

The discussions get worse and worse, slowly killing my love for her .....she wants me to change ..but knows i cant ...she wants me safe ..but knows i can only be that if i change...
I still love her ...bit it turned into a brother-sister love ...me being the stubborn brother ..she being the "know - it - all - better "sister.

After the last discussion i made up my mind ....they are safer without me...the feelings have changed so much that i can not honestly tell if i still love Jenna as i once did .....i probably don't ..*sighs*..i don't ...*sighs deep*

The other woman in my life ..i love her ...more and more we grow towards each other ...long talks and moments alone draw us together even further then we were already....my heart opens up as we talk ...my spirits rise just seeing her approach ...and all off this in secret and silence when others are around ..*sighs*

I have talked to Jenna ...and explained her how i feel ....she simply looked at me and nodded ...*sighs*

*he tends to the fire and kills the wandering giant that comes around the corner ...then he continues to write *

I met the one i love just a few hours ago here on this spot .....when i saw her coming to my fire i knew what i wanted to do and my mind and heart grew heavy ...for she could think different then me over what i was about to ask...people probably will be angry at me ..and with reason ...for i will leave my family ...*a tear falls down on the page , leaving a mark on the writings*
...they are safer if I'm gone and i hope the hurt will be for a short while ....my mind is made up ....i will stand against the church if they send orders to me ..refusing them ...if they wish they can hunt me ....i will not aid a church that works together with the likes of Broegar .

People will understand the reasons i wrote above ...but the next decision they wont ...i will continue my life at the side of the one i love ..and if granted by my fellow members i will continue my work for the guild in secret.

After a long and difficult talk ..my love and i have come to the conclusion that we belong together ...she wishes to stands with me in this troubled times ...not questioning my believes ...not trying to change me ..but simply because she loves me ...because she too is sick off hiding her feelings for me like i am off hiding my feelings for her .....when it finally came clear in my mind that she truly loves me ..i did something that a Rofireinite shouldn't ..i asked her to stay with me ..the rest off my life ...
She started crying and my heart started to break ...i told her i was already hurting her and that i was sorry ..a lump in my throat preventing more words to come out ...she looked at me with tear filled eyes and suddenly smiles ..."you are not hurting me ..you could only do that by not asking ...i never thought i would these words ..the words i longed for to hear ..."
She came over and clung to me ..tears falling from her eyes ..."I love you Talia "
She smiled through her tears and told me that she longed to hear me say those words from the moment we met ....she told me that it would be hard for both off us and that we should finally be honest towards others ..we both have a difficult time ahead ...she was to be married ..and i need to tell Jenna ..*sighs* and the kids ...*sighs deep burying his head in his hands*

*he looks up again ..his face stricken by guild and hurt *
The twin wont understand completely yet ..but Abigail ...she will only see that her father is leaving ..leaving for another woman ...*sighs*

Many will not understand it ..i doubt even my closest friends will ....many problems we will face ..but i know that if we stand together we can overcome them ....she has somehow put the spark back into me ...she has showed me that she loves me no matter what ..as i learned that i love her like i once loved another ...*sighs*

"My heart is my weakness "..how true those words are as i told Tegan long ago .......

*he sighs deep *

I now need to find Jenna and talk to her ...i only can hope that she wont kill me when i tell her ....and wont blame her if she does ...how our love could turn into a brother-sister love i will never understand ....all that is left as prove off our passion for each other are the twin...and i will miss them and Abigail dearly ...*sighs* but it will be better ..they will be safer with out me ....i will ask Tegan to provide them all with anything they need ...payed from my share in the guild ...it will not be given in my name ..but by the guild itself ...for i think that keeping in touch after i leave the family would only longer the hurt i cause ...*sighs as he closes his journal ...he slowly gets up and starts on the trip he fears ..the trip home to tell his family his decision ...*

[jan]

*Barion sits down at the grave off Sa'kura in the hidden village*

I arrived here after weeks off searching ...Jenna had contacted me ...telling me Abigail had ran off from Haven ....

She told in her letter that she thinks its because off her and my leaving that Abigail left ....
The talks i used to have with her ..open and loving ..now in her letter Jenna returned to them ...telling me that she misses me ...that she has been walking around like a zombie ...*sighs*

Because off it she had neglected Abigail ...probably giving her the feeling that Jenna blames her i guess ...Jenna herself was clear ...she only blames me ...she said that the moment i told her i was leaving them ...the moment i told her about Talia ....her eyes shot fire ..and then went dull ......i hurt her more then any other could ever do ...*sighs deep*

After the note i have been searching for Abigail all over ...then i got an idea ...so i went here ..the village ...right before i came here ...i met a few people ...Jin was among them ...so was a dwarven lass ....
They told me that they had Abigail with them in the past weeks ...my heart felt overjoyed ...then i realised what they just had said ....i guess the anger was visible in my eyes ..for as i reached to the hilt off my blade every one stepped back ....Jin quickly explained that Abigail didn't wanted them to send word out ...it calmed me a bit ...but not much ...

They have been training her in searching and other wood-lore ...i guess i should be thankful ...but had a hard time uttering those words ....Jenna was worried sick ...i have been traveling non stop to find Abigail ..and they listened to her regarding the not contacting any one ...*grumbles *

I hope they never have to undergo what Jenna and i have the past month and a half ...i know Abigail is here ...and i will sit here near Sa'kura's grave till she shows up ....i'm not sure if i can refrain from yelling if i was now going out to collect her ...*sighs*

*he writes a note to Jenna explaining where he is and that Abigail is safe , he sends it out with a bird and sits ...quietly looking to the cherries growing in the bush he planted so long ago ...tears falling from his eyes ...from exhaustion and joy ...for finding his daughter ...and for missing his love *

[jan]

*Barion walks into the room in Haven 180 and picks up his journal , after reading through it he rips out the last ten entries and watches as they burn in the fire that is lit to warm the room.
With a face completely without emotions he sits down and starts to write *

Again life has been cruel and again i was at the receiving end .

Talia has left without word and Jenna has done something that took her out of this life .

Solarina is caring for the twins and for Abigail ...that is ...IF and WHEN she is home .

I slowly am picking up my crafting again , made myself the best with the tinkering devices and now again trying to work out the final flaws in my smelting and weapon-making .

I also picked up armor-making again and i guess i'm getting good at that soon as well.

Abigail is a almost grown up woman now , with all the things that come with that i guess *sighs*

She picked up a friend and they came to me for aid ....

Her friend was in the past part of an organization off thieves and cutthroats .
He asked me to help him get rid off them ...or something along that line .

I told him i would help and told him what i need to try and get them arrested and he will provide what i need he said , so i guess i need to find that organization and put an end to it ...or at-least the branch he was involved with .

To make things even better ...after i gave my word that i would help he happily told me he's a Mistite ......*he stands up and walks the room calming himself down *

I dislike Mistites ...but i never turn back on my word ...so i still will look into this ...solve it if i can ...and keep an eye on him while doing it .

Abigail seems to like him ...so i'll give him the benefit off the doubt for now .

Quantum had a rough time lately ...turns out he had to kill Sonya ..his adopted daughter ....she was turned into a vampire .

The guild seems to be in stasis or something ...i dont hear from any one or see any one ...maybe its time to again try to restart it and call for some meetings to see if we now finally can re-introduce ourselves onto the market .

Life has changed me ....i now am growing more and more towards what my old trainer saw in me ...a bitter man ...only wanting to serve his purpose ...killing criminals and try to extinguish evil from the world .

Never will i go back on my word ...nor will i ever allow evil acts in my presence ....people are afraid off the future ...the gods and their followers .

Some youngster has put up posters to try and get Rofireinites together ..to have us " lock shields and protect the people visibly " ...or something close to that *grins*

I heard Miss Jennara has worked herself up a bit more in the ranks , i wonder how she will look with a shield ...*he laughs and closes his journal*

[jan]

*barion picks up his journal and sits down , the dirt from traveling still on his clothes *

Alright , just a few quick notes so i don't forget them .

They are the information i got from Brian about the " syndicate " as he calls it .

Town : Point Dart

Name off leader ( at the time Brian was there , might have changed now ) :
a Xeenite named : Tarsia , woman , uses a lash to " help " others put in some effort while training .

members to be recognised by the following mark : A cobra head holding a gold coin into its mouth a sword piercing both from the top of the head through the coin and out the lower jaw, always branded on the right shoulder blade

It seems this organization infiltrates in the leaders off the towns they are in ,number off towns Brian knows about : fifteen , or so he seems to think
since i never before heard anything about them , i doubt that it could be so far spread though  .

They form things called " rings " , every " ring " holds up to about one-hundred and fifty members with one leader .

[jan]

*barion walks in to resupply himself and takes the time to write some notes*

Nothing i could find in Point Dart ...either the "syndicate " moved on or people are too scared to tell a thing .

Next i will go investigate the cemetery there , maybe i can find a grave or mausoleum in-witch "members " are buried when they fall in the line of work .

I am hesitating to ask for help from the Rofirein church , there have been corrupted priests before and it seems i'm not important enough to be kept up to date on what is going on in our faith anyway.

Maybe i get lucky and they completely forget about me , maybe they finally understand that one doubting the highest people that " so-called represent " the faith is not one that without questions will follow their orders .

*Barion ponders over the last lines he just wrote and then closes the journal . He fills his bags with things he thinks he will need and he goes out again in search of the " syndicate *

[jan]

*Barion sits in the Haven house and watches the half burned candles on the edge off the bath , he smells the fragrance off the oil he has used earlier while massaging and he sighs deep . He picks up his journal and goes to write in it on the chessboard where he earlier won a game *

No word on the syndicate but i did find some that had the sign on their shoulder .

I got myself pulled into a wrestling match and fought three that had the sign .

I couldn't ask flat-out what they knew , because there were far too many to handle alone it seems .
I need to investigate this later .

On another , more personal note , the one i still love after all these years was here .

I offered her a bath after getting sand and we played a game off chess .

The price for winning was to be massaged and with some cheating , i won *blushes*
Since she didn't know how to massage with oils , i offered to massage her to show how it should be done .

Nothing but a nice massage , avoiding her more intimate parts or those close to them , happened ...but i still can feel her skin under my hands when i think back ...i still can feel the trust she has in me ...i still can feel her muscles relax as i worked them gently but firmly ..*he sighs softly*

Something is wrong between her and her partner ...i must not interfere ..i must try to keep my distance ...for losing her trust and her friendship ...that would be enough to make my life obsolete ...

*he sighs again and closes the journal , laying his head on the pillow as he turns in the bed smelling the oils and thinking he can still feel the warmth off her body on the spot she was laying when massaged .He closes his eyes and drifts of into a wondrous dream , for the first in a long time resting well while a smile more then once crosses his calm and soft looking face *

[jan]

*a bunch off papers is entered in the journal , they are folded and upon it are the words : Last will and testament off Barion Firesteed . *

I finally made my last will , Abi and Quantum listened and Quantum wrote it down .

Abi didn't like to hear it , guess she doesn't like the idea that one day her old father will be dead .

If its up to me i wont be dead soon , but one never knows .....

//this is the conversation they had , it includes Barions wishes .

Barion Firesteed: Lets talk in the guildhall
Abigail Firesteed: *looks concernedly
Abigail Firesteed: alright

Quantum Windword: [Party] The round table *grins*

Quantum Windword: [Party] please continue Barion
Barion Firesteed: Alright ...*looks serious* First ...this is not because it will happen soon ...but because i want you both to know what i want ...and why ..

Barion Firesteed: *looks to both * i want you both to know my wishes for in-case i might die ...
Abigail Firesteed: but
Barion Firesteed: shh
Abigail Firesteed: um

Quantum Windword:  **nods*
Barion Firesteed: i will explain what i want ..and why i want it ....this will give you both a better understanding off this old man
Abigail Firesteed: hm...*looks sadly at her hands as she listens
Barion Firesteed: i want to be prepared in here .....people who want must be able to say goodbye ...
Quantum Windword:  **nods in a understanding that most can not understand*
Barion Firesteed: I made a few things ...you will need those to put on me ...
Barion Firesteed: I made for myself a completely gold armor and a sky-blue cloak
Quantum Windword:  *takes out a pen and paper and starts to write*
Quantum Windword: Your gold armor, and sky-blue cloak...
Barion Firesteed: I also made an open helmet ...blue and gold
Abigail Firesteed: *smiles sadly as she listens
Abigail Firesteed: *committing it to memory
Quantum Windword: **nods and writes*
Barion Firesteed: My blade will be the one I'm using ..the knights claw
Quantum Windword: **nods*
Barion Firesteed: My shield ...hang it on a wall somewhere ..cause i don't want Rofirein signs on me
Barion Firesteed: On my heart ...i want something i made ...
Barion Firesteed: a golden leaf ...sign off the Lifebringer ...
Quantum Windword: **nods*
Barion Firesteed: To symbolise Shelu still holds my heart ...*looks to Abi*
Quantum Windword:  **smiles* That would be very nice Barion..
Abigail Firesteed: *looks at her hands silently
Barion Firesteed: I found out my heart has four chambers ...which is exactly how many holes i made in the leaf ...
Barion Firesteed: I want four items placed in them ...one for each woman i loved with all my heart after Shelu
Quantum Windword:  **nods*
Abigail Firesteed: *gulps
Barion Firesteed: A cherry ...for Sa'kura ...
Abigail Firesteed: *smiles slightly at moms mention
Barion Firesteed: a miniature fireball ...for Sabrissia ...
Barion Firesteed: The blue rose from my chest in Haven ...for Jenna
Quantum Windword:  **nods and writes more*
Barion Firesteed: And last ...a blueberry ......*looks to Q *
Abigail Firesteed: *smiles sadly at her mention
Quantum Windword:  For Tegan ?
Barion Firesteed: For Tegan
Barion Firesteed: *blushes*
Abigail Firesteed: *looks surprised at dad
Abigail Firesteed: Miss tegan?
Quantum Windword:  My friend
Barion Firesteed: *looks to Abi smiling* Yes ...the one i loved for many years ...but never got together with
Abigail Firesteed: i guess...i guess that explains a lot
Abigail Firesteed: *smiles to herself
Abigail Firesteed: i had no idea
Quantum Windword:  *smiles to Abi* Yes it does..
Quantum Windword:  *looks to Barion*
Barion Firesteed: I want Tegan to hold on to my things ....personal things ...to keep them for when you my daughter ...have earned them ..
Abigail Firesteed: *nods
Barion Firesteed: In the near future i want to sell the house in Prantz ....hopefully to get a better armor or jewelery for it
Abigail Firesteed: *smiles
Abigail Firesteed: i thought you had the best armor
Abigail Firesteed: *smiles
Barion Firesteed: I want Abi ..to have the Haven house ...but she needs to keep room for Destiny and Barion jr and Solarina
Quantum Windword: *smiles*
Abigail Firesteed: *smiles
Abigail Firesteed: always
Abigail Firesteed: you know that
Barion Firesteed: Almost done *grins* three more things ...
Quantum Windword:  *still writing*
Barion Firesteed: I want Abi to be free to join the guild ...either when she has learned a trade well enough ...or when i am gone ..with or without a trade
Quantum Windword: **nods* My friend it will be before you are gone.. I can assure you of that.
Barion Firesteed: *smiles*
Abigail Firesteed: *smiles at mr quantum
Barion Firesteed: that is up to her old friend ...i wont force her to join
Quantum Windword:  I have been working her hands to the bone with gems
Abigail Firesteed: yeah he has
Abigail Firesteed: *rubs her hands
Abigail Firesteed: hes a regular slave driver
Abigail Firesteed: *giggles
Barion Firesteed: the next two things will sound strange ...but i want them ...
Quantum Windword:  **nods*
Abigail Firesteed: *arches her eyebroiw curiously
Barion Firesteed: i want a paper on the table i will on ...explaining the items on my heart ...
Abigail Firesteed: *nods
Barion Firesteed: then once and foreall every rumor about me hunting women will be gone
Barion Firesteed: or atleast i hope it will be
Quantum Windword: You dont my friend
Barion Firesteed: and last ...i want the table to be in the shadows at all times ...
Quantum Windword:  Rumors are hurtfull but you must look past them
Abigail Firesteed: yes..who cares what they think of htat after your gone
Barion Firesteed: i want the door unlocked ...and someone to travel to silkwood ...
Abigail Firesteed: your deeds are what will survive mor e than anything
Barion Firesteed: There is a tree there ...the tallest one ...i want that someone to shout three times into that tree that Barion s dead ....
Abigail Firesteed: i..i..dont understadn
Barion Firesteed: *he looks to Abi smiling*
Quantum Windword:  *looks to Barion* It will be done....
Barion Firesteed: My best friend hung herself there ....she wa a shadowdancer ...her body disappeared ...i want to give her the chance to say goodbye ...
Abigail Firesteed: oh...
Quantum Windword: **smiles and nods* She will my friend
Abigail Firesteed: *nod sin understanding
Barion Firesteed: If Abigail still is around ..it will be there

Barion Firesteed: The things i'm wearing ...they will go to the guild ...
Barion Firesteed: I have worked for the stuff ...so will my daghter
Abigail Firesteed: *smiles
Quantum Windword:  Abi will find you in the after life, Barion
Quantum Windword:  I am sure of that
Abigail Firesteed: *nods
Barion Firesteed: *shakes his head * No ...that is why i dont want signs on my body ...
Abigail Firesteed: i dont understand
Quantum Windword:  *smiles to Abi* Not you Abi, are friend Abi the one your named after.
Abigail Firesteed: oh
Abigail Firesteed: oh yeah
Abigail Firesteed: *smiles sheepshly and sadly

Barion Firesteed: If Aeridins Avatar was right all those years ago ...i will be re united with Shelu *his face seems to light up a bit *
Quantum Windword: **nods* I belive you will my friend
Barion Firesteed: I hope i'm right ...i think i will see everyone i ever truely loved
Abigail Firesteed: *smiles
Barion Firesteed: *he looks to Q * Can i have those for second ? *points to the paper he was writing on *
Quantum Windword:  *hands the paper and pen over*

Barion Firesteed: *he signs them * Now they are my official last will ***smiles as he hands them back*
geohall has joined as a player..
Abigail Firesteed: *smiles sadly
Quantum Windword:  **nods*
Barion Firesteed: *he looks to Abi smiling softly* Dont you worry ...i'm not dead yet ...but i wanted this to be done ...
Abigail Firesteed: *her eyes area bit red
Quantum Windword:  *takes the paper and smiles*
Abigail Firesteed: i..i understadn
Quantum Windword:  it will be done
Barion Firesteed: *smiles and caresses her face gently* No you dont ...but you will one day
Abigail Firesteed: *bites her lip and smiles halfheartedly
Abigail Firesteed: yeah...
Quantum Windword:  *smiles to Abi*
Barion Firesteed: I better do it now that i still can ...then leave this life without ever making it

[jan]

*Barion barges into the Haven house and rumbles trough his mail , seemingly he can't find what he is looking for since he throws everything in the fireplace.
He barges out and returns half a day later , smeared with blood ...not his ...and after washing it off he grabs his journal and starts to write *

Sooo...i'm not important enough to inform me that my daughter has to be present at a trail for one that she has captured .....

A trail led by Rofirein magistrates .....*he grumbles*

 I'm not sure how in the nine hells they thought they could keep this secret for me ...but they failed ...i'll do my utmost best to be there.

*he puts the journal back on the small table in his bedroom and gathers the things he thinks he will need , after saying goodbye to the twins and Solarina he moves out again *

[jan]

*Barion quietly walk into his bedroom in the Haven house , he walks around the room a few times and stops by the chess table on-which his journal lays .
He picks it up and reads what he has written , then he sits down and gets his quill out to start writing *

Abigail did good in court ....she answered the questions to what she thinks is the facts and truth .
I'm not sure if all see it as she saw it ...but she kept true to herself ...i'm proud on her .

*he stops and walks around the room pondering a bit before he goes on *

I went on a little gathering trip earlier ...we met up with different people  and the trip went well ....then we went further on the trip and met more people ..one of them was a young woman ..i forgot her name .
She kept pestering me about my age and about the fact that i'm , as she calls it , fat .
It was fun at first ...but the longer it went on ..the more it started bothering me *sighs*
Then we met Quantum and Peanut ..they had fallen in what we call " Troll Central "..needless to say we went with them to get their stones ..and did so with ease .
After that i just wanted to leave ..the ramblings off this young woman about me had me doubting myself ...yes...i know ...i had that earlier ...what can i say ..i'm sensitive about my skills .
To prove to myself i still am good enough , i tried to quietly walk off and find some fight ..but Quantum must have seen me ...for he came after me .
We went into a cave and before i knew it everyone was there and Quantum was running off ...*sighs deep*
Lovely Tegan was there too ...her bags filled with coal ...she was walking slowly ..but didn't want me to carry the  things .
As i went after Quantum , i heard her sigh and she sounded mad .
After finally reaching and getting Quantum out , we started searching for Tegan ...my blood froze soon after that ..we found her stone ..*he wipes away something from his eyes before he continues *
I failed her once again ...she left and i should have accompanied her ...but instead off that i ran after Quantum .
I guarded her stone with some others and waited for her return .
When we were in safety again , i sat away from the others pondering and thinking .
Maybe the young woman is right ...maybe i'm just an old man ..that kept spinning through my mind .
Tegan came over and we talked ...i'm afraid it turned out to be a complaining session from my side ...up to the point that she threatened to cut off our friendship *sighs softly*
I spoke some more and explained the core off my problem ...then i left ..telling her she could find me at the end off the row bodies ..and that i hoped mine wouldn't be the last she finds .

I went to Prantz because i had agreed on buying something from Pyyran ...two flying rocks ..Ioun stones .

I had a talk with Pyyran ...and somehow ...i don't know why ...the talk i gave him ..it was a talk someone should have given me ...for now i see things different then i saw them before ..as does Pyyran .
I agreed that i will try to be there as he and others will aid ..or try to ...Sallaron in reaching an emerald vein and maybe more precious materials .

The stones i bought ...they were Kinai's ...one i bought to give away ..to the one that is still precious to me ...more precious then i think even she understands ..the other i will use ..as a memorial to Kinai and Pyyran ..and Hawk i guess .

*he looks up as Solarina knocks on the door . he opens the door and she gives him a small note ,he closes the door and while walking he starts to read ...he stops in his tracks after three words and curses loudly *

*he quickly puts the note in his journal and gets his armor and things he needs for heavy battle ...cursing all the time ...he runs out and while going out off the house he shouts to Solarina that she needs to keep Abi in the house if or when she comes . After that he searches every place he could expect his daughter *

***the note he got ***

Dear Barion,

I am not sure when I will see you again, but you must know this as soon as possible. There are people out there who put a price on Abi's head. There is more then one, and whoever kills Abi first will get the coins. They do not want her to make it to trial alive. I know this because I overhead a man in black talking.. to Lino. The only person I told was Eghaas though Wren was with us at the time. Please do not do anything rash, I'm sending this note to you, Dalan and Abi.

May Folian protect you and yours,

Tegan

[jan]

*barion walks into the Haven house and bathes himself , then dresses and finds his journal . He reads the last few entries and sits down and starts to write*

Things have changed .
I went with Dalan , Brian and Huntemara ( former known as Sarah ) and found Abigail .
Before we left , i had Tegan search us for any signs off magic upon us but we all were clean .
We made sure we weren't followed and finally after finding a few signs found Abigail .

It was there that i decided to go with her to the hidden village and hide her there till a few hours before the trial ,then meet up with friends and escort her to trial safely .

We spend a few days there when i got a visit and was asked to join Tegan to get mahogany ...which i did .

When i met up with her in Dalanthar , we met Timothy ...he asked me if i had seen Abi lately .
When i asked him why , he told that a man was looking for her in Hempstead .
According to him the man took seat on a bench there and kept checking the Orcbashers Shop .

Since Abi is safe in the village i have decided to seek out this man ...maybe he can answer some questions i have .

On another note .

Maybe its time to change some things , things that keep happening and don't seem to change by themselves no-matter what i do or say .

Again i joined a guild member and a friend on a trip to gather things , again i ended up with nothing i myself use and again the things we got will be used by others outside the guild .
I'm slowly getting enough of this ...there are times i wonder why i still bother .
Maybe its time to find others to travel with ...others that i can help and let them help me get the things i need .
I right now am learning how to tailor ...to stop from losing my thirst to learn ...and to be able to make some things i soon will need to improve in my armor-making .
My smelting has nearly gone to a full stop since i cant get the metals i need to get better , same goes for my weapon-making
My tinkering is my best craft right now ...and that is fulfilling ..but also boring .
All it requires is getting sand and coal to make rods of the highest circle , i still can learn a little from that but every-time making the same things is mind-numbing .
Maybe its time i pick up the crafts that i am already getting the materials for , the materials i stash in chests again and again to let others craft ...maybe its time i got a bit selfish and simply use everything myself ...*sighs as he ponders*

Well ...i have my gear cleaned up and checked ..everything is in perfect condition ..time to find the stalker that stalks the Shop.

*he closes his journal and for the first in a long time he puts it in his backpack*

[jan]

*barion sits at the bottom of a cave and takes out his journal *

So here i sit at the bottom of a cave ,a cave that supplies me with platinum .
The trial went well , not sure what will happen next but i'm glad that part is over .

Lately i haven't seen many people ...and i must say ...its refreshing .
The last i went to travel with was Miss Drea ..a bit stuck up ...very young ...very immature in her speech ..but fun to be around .

Still ...what i am missing in my life ..it seems i will never again find it .

M'Lady Tegan is avoiding me ...or am i avoiding her ? ...not sure ...
She seems happy again with Sall ...and its not my way to pry between them .

Crafting is mind-numbing ..no matter what i pick up ...gemming ...tailoring ..armor-making...tinkering ...it all comes down to three things : getting the materials ...getting them home alive ...and then destroy most to see if i can learn from it .

I start to think its the life off a front-liner unworthy to craft as much as i do .

What is the use off all the years off training ? i hardly come to see places that challenge my skills like they should be challenged ...and for what ?

To be there for Abigail ? ...to wait till maybe Sall dies and i finally can find out if M'Lady Tegan and I fit together ?...to be here for the twins ?

Abigail can take care off herself ....Sall is a lucky bastard that seems to find new life whenever he looks nearly dead ....M'Lady Tegan ....what would she need an ugly old human fighter for ?...and the twins ....they are in good and capable hands with Solarina .

I think its time to do what i was meant to do ...explore and find new challenges ...hopefully to die in a grand battle ...

*he sighs as he looks up , he hears the trolls have send new troops and he rises .he puts his journal back in his pack and gears up *

" time to fight myself a way out again "

*with that he draws his blade and puts up his shield , he uses the magical items he has with him and charges into battle *

[jan]

*Barion sits in The Amphitheatre high in The Thunderpeaks , he warms his hands and takes out his quill and journal and starts to write*

Things have changed ...i no longer craft as much as i did ..and i love it ...this place i have found and it is the perfect place to train for me .
No magic other then magic placed on things holds here ..this is a mountain created for fighters that know how to use their skills and weapons.

*he ponders a bit before he continues*

Lots of things i have learned lately ..my body is in better shape then it ever was before ...my gear is partly updated and I'm nearing the time that I'll have all i need .

Abigail i haven't seen in a long time , my guess is she doesn't need her old man anymore ..i heard her say that rebuilding a school for spell-swords was the legacy she wishes to continue ...guess that means that my legacy rests in the hands of the twins *sighs*...well ...i decided to let her go ...i no longer will be searching or going out to find her unless she sends me word .
She has succeeded in excluding me from everything that i could even find remotely important in her life , so be it .
I know i have a daughter called Abigail ...but the feeling of joy seeing her is fading every time i hear she has been out searching her dream or bettering her life ...guess I'm going to give up completely on me being part of her life ..its probably for the best .

*he thinks and a soft sigh escapes his mouth *

There was to be a meeting between The Explorers and The Orc Bashers .
We were to discuss to find out if we both could combine our forces and become one ..The Explorers as the gathering and exploring part of the new guild with us joining and helping them ...The Bashers as the selling part of the new guild with them helping out in creating and possibly selling the stuff .
From my talks with Pyyran and Sall i thought i knew their members ..boy was i wrong though ..*looks mad for a moment , then composes himself and writes on *

The meeting started fine ...i met Sall and Master Beli and showed them around our guildhall while we were waiting for the others to show up .

Then the trouble started ...seems Shamur is a member as-well ...not too bad a bloke i thought ...but then ...he was with Muirean ...a priest of Mist * spits on the floor before he goes on *
This woman has told me before a trip to get her friend Sall an emerald , that she would not raise or heal me in battle or after it .
We both know why and i had peace with it at the time , but i never will be part off anything that she is in ...I'm not going to spill my blood while the wench can run after us invisible to learn from those in front of her nor will i make anything that she will get a share of the sales price from .
I already heard that Shamur wasn't too keen on the two guilds merging , guess he saw this as the perfect way to stop the meeting even before it started .
Well ..he was right ...what he however didn't know is that he has sided with a known Mistite priestess and the result of that will be that i nor M'Lady Serissa will aid him in any way again .
During the conversation i heard more then i knew before ..of-course i suspected it ..but now it was openly said .
The Explorers have been going out together and their partners are always welcome on their travels ...that was stated by both Beli and Sall .
Turns out M'Lady Tegan has gone with them many a time and helped them gather ...i always wondered how Sall got his hard to get wood ...also wondered how Shamur could keep up with my training in smelting and armor-making ...guess now i know *grumbles*
All those years i have risked my life and my strands to get every one in the guild what they needed ...all those years i accepted that the things i need to train and learn are too deadly to go out for to collect .
Yet it seems that with others , members can go out and risk their lives in getting the things i needed so hard for years ...only not for my use ..but for the use off those that i compete with to become the best in my crafts .

I need to ponder over what to do now ...*sighs deep and closes his journal ...he looks around and listens ..then he grins *
" You wished you wouldn't have been send here my Ettin friends and one-eyed giants ...my mood is not too well ...and you'll pay for that ...."
*With that he gears up and recklessly charges the group he heard ..coming out of the battle victorious ..but badly hurt *

[jan]

*Barion opens his journal and writes a few lines , then he inserts a letter *

A father is not allowed to defend his daughters good reputation and name by making a statement that those that call her a liar can seek him out and tell it to his face and face the consequences.

I guess the part that i added , telling those willing to try it to have said their final goodbyes to those they leave behind is a GRAND crime .

I am ripped of the tittle i didn't want in the first place but still they try to keep me in their grasp by NOT removing me from their ranks completely .

Over the years i NEVER was contacted by The Knights to investigate or in any other way take action , many faiths have posted pleas for help but never have The Knights had a call themselves or given orders to us to go out and help with the plea .

The organization is slow and i feel that being part of it restricts me more then allows me to help others .

I have send a reply and will wait on their answer to that before i decide how i will continue .

*A letter is folded in here , marked " Degraded "

Barion Firesteed, Knight of the Wyrm

When brave men and woman are called forth to serve under the banner of the Great Dragon a sacred oath is made. Our oath is to serve and protect, to maintain ourselves as pinnacles of Justice, to be above corruption and above reproach in the eyes of the law and in the eyes of those we seek to serve. These standards are what set us above others who serve chaos and who would act outside the law and hence harm those innocents whose very lives we protect.

Unit Captain Barion Firesteed, for some time I have personally held in a drawer of my desk the letter you served to this office some years ago requesting demotion. It was my hope that it would stay there unanswered and that you would, with time, grow into your role and find within you the strength of knowing required to serve the Great Dragon dutifully.

Alas, in recent days news of an incident has been filed with me. Whilst the circumstances might generate an emotional response I can understand, I simply cannot condone nor ignore. It is unacceptable under the oath to the Great Dragon for a Unit Captain to issue threats involving death or grievous bodily harm to those we are meant to guide and nourish in the understanding of the laws of the Gold.

Therefore it is with heavy heart that I hereby withdraw your commission as Unit Captain. Your rank will henceforth be that of Knight amongst the ranks of the order. I ask that you see this move as a chance to look within and learn once again what it means to truly serve the Dragon.

The claws of the Gold be your sword, His scales your shield and His wisdom your guide.

Divisional Commander Sir Breten Parth
Knights of the Wyrm Mistone Chapter headquarters, Fort Vehl

[jan]

* barion takes up his journal and puts in two letters , he scribbles some words previous to them and some after them *

I promised i would be complete in my journal for others to learn from , i am putting these letters in but need to take one passage out due to it might inflict harm to one that is seen as hero .
Every word i uttered in these letters is in my eyes true and i will always stand by them .

*two letters are attached under these words *

Sir Brethen Parth , Divisional commander .

It is with a feeling of gratitude that i have read your letter , but i request you to acknowledge my complete request .
I do not see nor have ever seen myself as someone that stands "above " anything or any one else .

The letter in your drawer speaks of my name being removed from The Knights as an organisation completely , not just to be removed as Unit-Captain.

The lack of trust people and other faiths have in The Knights as a whole and the church of Rofirein in general , have , as i feel it , restricted me in the help i could have given to others .

*here are a few lines blacked out and turned to unreadable blobs of ink*

Faiths calling for aid in openly posters in the Inn's and taverns with out a single request to our church or The Knights is another thing that has been bothering me for a while now .

The lack of reaction to these kind of things have made me wonder even more about the role i am supposed to be full-filling and the role The Knights in general are full-filling .
On the occasions i have asked for guidance in how to respond to these , the answer either never came or came far to late to be of any influence , hence the feeling i have of being restricted while serving The Knights .

Don't understand me wrong , i will always try , and yes ..i say TRY , to stay a loyal servant of Rofirein , but both the church and The Knights have so-far only restricted me , never aided , asked for aid or send me anywhere .
That is why i feel that i will serve The Great Golden One better as a single follower instead of part of an organisation that seemingly is too busy with itself and too slow in reaction to see and react to the trouble in the world .

If you wish you can strip the names from my blade and I'll dig up my old armor to have the name stripped from that as-well .

If the feelings of a father about the reputation and the good name of his daughter and his reaction in anger can not be understood and can not be dealt with in the form of an order to retract the note and an openly written apology , then the bureaucratise of The Knights is even worse then i already suspected and the human factor further lost to the rules then i ever could have suspected .

Awaiting your reaction , what-ever it may be , i will start telling those close to me that i no-longer am a Unit-Captain and that with some luck i will have more news for them soon .

Barion Firesteed , fighter for law, justice and Honor , but still human .



Barion Firesteed

I am saddened to receive your missive yet I accede to your request.

I am uncertain what to write to you Barion. Shall I write of what I believe has been your fundamental misunderstanding of the tenets of the order? Shall I write to you of the potential strength of an order when it's individual members forget about their personal goals and desires and all strive for a greater purpose? Shall I write to you of my disappointment that your path diverges from that of the order in so many ways?

What is to be gained in such? I fear very little. Instead I shall thank you for your service and express my hope that you always seek the will of the Great Gold in all your future deeds.

I hereby revoke your appointment as Knight of the Wyrm, including all titles, duties, privileges and responsibilities. I request your blade and armour be returned at soonest convenience and an armourer shall see to the removal of the insignia of the order.

The claws of the Gold be your sword, His scales your shield and His wisdom your guide.

Divisional Commander Sir Breten Parth
Knights of the Wyrm Mistone Chapter headquarters, Fort Vehl

*he sits down and reads them , then he takes his quill and writes *

This chapter off my life is concluded , the Knights have in my eyes become the puppets of the clergy and i do not agree that they should be .
The lack off response to calls for help are heartbreaking and even now , after many years , still true .

A call has come from our , or should i say their , brothers of Vorax , but no reaction what so ever from either The Knights or the Clergy .

I guess the organisation is either too big to answer ...or not able to look beyond their own troubles .

I chose not to response , not even personally , to not further the gap between myself and others following Rofirein ...but it breaks my heart ...*sighs as he dries the ink and puts the journal away again *

[jan]

*Barion unloads a huge amount off iron in his Haven home and checks with Solarina if there have been messages delivered , on finding that is not the case he goes up to the master bedroom and writes a few lines in his journal*

A huge order was made in various crossroads for items , i have expressed that The OrcBashers were interested in fulfilling this .

Until now there has not been any response even-though Abigail has send a personal post to the person asking for all the things .

I put up a notice in our Guildhall even before the ink on the poster was dry , so i guess either the order isn't too important or it has been revoked by the one requesting all the items .

I saw this as a good opportunity to strengthen the bonds between the members off our guild , since i noticed that most only seem to be looking out for their own interests .

Most are seemingly too preoccupied to train themselves as fast as they can , others are publicly selling gear that others off our guild could really use to upgrade their gear .

Guild outings are still not happening much and with M'Lady Tegan sending us word that she could be leaving this world in the near future we have another problem .

She proposed some one to replace her in tailoring that could , in the future , present us with more trouble then it seemingly is worth .

The person is a " holy knight " of Toran .....Toranites don't go well with Rofireinites ever-since the trail of one off their hero's.
Not to forget that Toranites don't mix well with Berilites as Master Starr .*sighs*

Even if things work out well , we will have to search for an arcane spellslinger to reach the materials we need most if we want our "top " crafters to learn more .

*he blows the ink dry and looks around , then after removing his armor and cleaning it he goes down to play with the twins *