B.F. A mans thoughts.

[jan]

To be complete i will write down the things i find important in this little book so you can keep up with the things that your father experiances and the thoughts i have on the things happening in my life from this moment on Abigail

My decision to leave the rest off the world at peace and to remove myself from their games seems to be one of the things i should have done before.
Four days i have been gone from Hlint and its surroundings now and slowly i start getting the feeling that my decision was the right one.
Playing with you and your friends my daugther has shown to me that peace is the ultimate state i deep down am looking for.
You know i disapear for a day at the time , that is to get the guild with mostly my friends in it the materials they need.
Once i thought i had found some one that might fill the void left by your mothers dead my daugther,but my search for love was foolish and i see now that if i ever love again it will come naturaly.

I met the one that i thought could fill the void left by your mother on a gatheringtrip a day back.
Seeing her i first felt happyness surfasing,but then i saw who she was with and anger and disapointment took over and with out a word i ran away.
Seems she rather helps a competing guild to the materials they with out her cant get then that it had any impact that i told her and others that i would leave.
Luckely i have changed the apearence of my armor,so i dont think any one recogniced me and to be honest ,i dont care if they did or not.
One of those there was a follower of Rofirein and i wish him all the luck in the world .
Despite him and i not acting in ways that the other understands i still feel it my duty to wish the younger followers of The Golden One the best,even if their actions seem alien too me at times.

None has been contacting me for now but i guess that is to be expected,i more often was away on long trips to gather materials for the guild.

I need to go back to Haven outskirts to empty the house there and sell it .
I will put up a post in the inns in the land to sell it to someone that is in no way tied to a guild for i think that most guilds own too much realestate already.

I will be honest ...i miss my friends ...i miss even sitting in Hlint and talking to newcomers*sighs*
This running away is not something your father is used to Abigail,but for now to keep my sanity i cant see another way.

I am sure that both Dalan and Eghaas will be visiting soon and that they will keep me updated on the important things happening around Hlint*smiles*i look forward to see them .

[jan]

*Sighs and starts to write*

Eight days have past and i never knew that time could have such an impact on someone.
Restless as i was i decided to get sapphires and some garnet and feldspar.
While placing the feldspar in a chest in the guildhall,Cole stumbled in on me.
First he thought i was a thief, but after i removed my helmet he saw it was me.
We talked a bit and i told him some things that troubled me at the time*smiles*
I never have talked much to Cole but it seems he is wiser then most i talk too,with out trying to persuade me to stay he told me to find my path and to follow it once i found it.

It realy is surpricing that people i never realy talked too before seem to understand what is happening to me and just simply accept that i need time with you my daugther,time to get things straight for myself .
While checking at the shop i was honoured by a visit,not a normal customer, but a spokesperson from an organicition called The Friends Of Hurm Society.
This man ,Pier Krieg, told me that they want us as a guild to help out on the matter of Hurm.
If i understood correctly we are asked to go out to the mosscrypt and go find out if we can strike a deal with the black dragons that live there.
The main idear should be i think too make a kind of deal that makes sure that Hurm will be spared another asault in a long period of time.

After getting the minerals i looked for Sonya Darsus in the tradehall because i had promissed her on an earlier occasion that i would help her to some garnets.
She wasnt there,but i ran into Chrissy and one i like,Angelique,they told me i wa reacting grumpy and that i was no fun that way.
I think they planned something together so i kept my eye on them and as they both started to come closer i turned and ran off.
By doing so i bumped into Sonya and i gave her the garnets,not many words were exchanged and i went out to be alone again.
After sitting at a campfire roasting the fish i had caught earlier, i remembered hearing Angelique ask Chrissy if she would help her get some silk.
Having done my chores for the guild earlier i had nothing else to do so i decided to get some silk and if i could find her give it to Angel.
With the same hunger as usual i killed the spiders and the ettercap guarding the silk and went to the campfire near Aeridins tempel to rest and think a bit.
The rest at the campfire made me remember a lot of things...all the times i had sit here with Shelu...the visit from the Aeridin Avatar...the times i was here with Dorena talking about animal life and the need to preserve that...all survaced somehow and i felt sad but had a strange feeling that somehow all i have done and have been through were for reasons i myself might not understand but nondeless were for a reason.
After pondering that a bit i decided to go back and see if i could find Angelique.
Upon returning to the place the silk can be gathered i saw Angelique and Chrissy getting the rest of the silk that i had forgotten earlier.
Feeling asif i interfeared in something they didnt need help with,i decided to go further and collect the silk that is guarded by the beetles .
Having collected that i thoungt it would be a good idear to go back to the campfire and ponder there a bit more because it seemed to have helped in me understanding more about myself.
While going there i heard some shouts and went looking...i found both Chrissy and Angel badly wounded,being ambushed by the spiders.
I went to them and healed them still in my changed armor.
Chrissy is a lot off things,but not a fool..she saw through my disguise and called me by my name.
I revealed myself and after some talk i gave the silk i got earlier to Angel ,right after that the spiders relentless ambushed us again leaving the two lady's hurt again.
I told them to follow and lead them to the campfire i was heading anyway and started to talk a bit with them.
I cant describe or relate what all was said at the fire,but one thing sticks out in my mind...i am running and the wall i have build towards others is one that only can be broken by one that loves me as i am ,or by myself in finaly accepting that i am who i am and i canh not hold myself responcible for things that happen too others the way i have been doing almost from the moment i have set foot in Hlint so long ago.

I had changed my color of my armor to black, to reflect the way i was feeling...at the first oppertunity i get i will change it to pure gold,to show others that i aslong as i live will be an example to young adventurers and show that my faith in The Golden One as i know it will never fade.

[jan]

*A man completely in golden armor opens his journal before he steps in and pens down something he will repeat over and over while praying at the statue of The Golden One*



By the Insight of your wisdom we seek the best ways to observe the law.

By the Strength of your love as a shield we protect the innocent.

By the Might of your will we drive back those who seek to overthrow justice

By the Light of your soul we bring light into the darkness, law and order to chaos.


Our Duty to serve in fairness and integrity.

Our duty to serve through good judgement and generosity.

Our duty to serve through faith and true Justice

Our Duty to serve as champions of law and order against injustice and evil


Our steadfastness, our hearts and our souls are with you Great Dragon.

Into the light of your love for the people of this world we step, to follow the path you set by your Will.

To bring Law, impartial judgement and order to the world.


*After three days of praying and repeating the oath of The Knights he stands and a light shines in his eyes.He walks out and turns towards the tempel smiling*
"My oath is my honour,my honour is my life,my life is yours to comand Golden One"

*after these words he turns to fight injustice anywere he can find it*

[jan]

*Sitting in the guildhall he takes out his journal and starts to write*

Many things come on my path and life seems to get back to normal.

A man has come to The Orc Bashers shop to ask for assistence on a matter concearning Hurm.
He and the society he says he represents want a group of people to travell to the black dragon and negociate a deal with it to leave Hurm alone.
He asked the guild as a whole for support so i have called for a meeting and we talked about it.
We came to the conclusion ,that since i am bound by my oath to help in times off need and for a good cause,that we will all be there.
Not as an official guild , but as friends that are willing to support me in the things my oath binds me to undertake.

I have had a talk with Tegan .
I told her that i could not go on further explore our feelings since i find it that she needs someone that holds her at the first place in his or her heart.
With the initiations for knighthood coming up,i found that Rofirein is first in my heart.
If the call for help comes i will drop all i am undertaking and answer it.
Since i dont believe that Tegan ever would be happy with second place in my heart i found it time to tell her that it wouldnt work.
She asked me if Rofirein even would come before my daugther,to be honest ...i dont know...
I evaded her question by telling her that one of the best things i have done lately was letting Abigail live in the village that Sa grew up.
That way she wont be there once i get called and i know i am sure that she is save and taken care off by people that love her .

The upcoming initiation scare the wits out of me to be honest,i told Acacea that no matter what happens i still will be the same person...but is that true?...
I dont know and i hope i wont find out,every one off my friends think i will be accepted,is it strange that i am the only one with doubts?
No one knows my life better then me ..i know i havent been a modelknight sofar..is it strange that i doubt myself ?

All my doubts disapear once i go to Abigail to be with her,she is growing faster then i ever held possible *smiles*
Dalan comes from time to time to play with her and show her ways to go through the forest with out disturbing the animals*grins* if i wouldnt know better i swear i have seen her talking to small animals.
The teacher in the village told me she has a wit for magic,but she doesnt seem to be interested in that a lot...the whole town is mobilised once she has "escaped "her teacher again and usualy they find her in the nearby trees sitting with animals.
She is the thing i hold dear next to Rofirein,could i forget her if Rofirein calls?...i am not sure ...but i think i wont.
If ever i am to find some one to spend my life with i better make clear that my heart and soul and duty belong to Rofirein first and then her and my daugther..i think...

*with that he closes his journal and sits for hours in his room pondering if what he just wrote is true*

[jan]

*A man in golden armor is sitting in a nearly empty house in haven outskirts and takes out his journal,he watches the beautifull elven woman laying seemingly sleeping on the rolled up carpet and smiling gets his quill and starts to write*

Life can be weird.
Again i wasnt able to hold my thoughts and words to myself in the presence of a woman that put a spark off hope on happiness in my heart.
Very young she is for elven standarts,just reached the elven maturity age.
My gathering for the guild simply got too dull and i didnt see myself getting all the things i normaly get.
This lead to my desicion to stay around Hlint and Haven to mine coal and dig sand to improve my tinkeringskill.
While i was preparing to go to Haven after making glass Miss Amilia came by in the crafthouse and we started talking.
As the conversation progressed others came to share out conversation and there she was..she introduced herself as Solarina De'Shade.
After lots off talking Miss Amilia said she needed some minerals from Haven Mines,since i needed coal and platinum i joined them .
I unloaded in the house in Haven and got too talk to Solarina again,after most off the talking she said she would come clear.
Not knowing what she meant i listend to her story about the fallen House of De 'Shade and her real name being JennaJade.

*he looks to the seemingly sleeping young woman and smiles as she turns thinking to himself "I know elves dont sleep my flower" *

After we promissed her to not reveal to her twinsister Solarina that she was near we went down Haven Mines.
Guiding the group from the rear they did a wonderfull job and followed my advice almost to the letter.
When things got too rough i stepped in and helped a bit,but mostly on their own they were able to reach the bottom of the mines.
We mined and went out with out too much trouble and all came safely to the survace again.
JennaJade thanked us for our secretie towards her twin and went off.
There went a woman planning on having atleast five children to let her House regrow to the status it had,a woman that suspected her sister of involvement
in the destruction of her House.
A few days later i ran into Eghaas and a woman strikingly resembling JennaJade,but since she didnt show any sign of recognation i almost knew it would be Solarina,the twin.
The woman clearly had an eye on Eghaas but he didnt seem to noticed.
After the introduction i heard that she had talked with JennaJade , who at my advice went to her too talk about everything and gave up her spying on her.
Smiling i told them that i had met Solarina's sister earlier and that she was an "interesting"woman too say the least.
My heart skipped a beat when Solarina told me that her sister had met a man off great skill that she found interesting enough to further get too know.
She had met the man on a trip to Haven Mines and Solarina told me that if i was the only fighter there it was me that her sister was interested in.
We said our goodby's and i went to the inn to rest and think.
How could it be that the mere name off a woman could let my heart skip a beat?
So soon after telling Tegan it could not be,so soon after releasing Ran from her promiss to love me,so soon after accepting Rofirein as number one in my heart.
Coal black hair and purple eyes,the body off a goddes and a mouth faster then most i ever met.
The happiness this woman brought were ever i met her and her desire for a man that could give her five strong children to keep her name in this world.
Later that same day i ran into JennaJade in Hlint and we talked again for a short time.
She was jealous off her sister who had been to a hill to see the sunset so i offered her to show her around to places that i think are interesting enough to watch.
Greedily she accepted my proposal to make it a date and she went off ,later i found out that she had made a special dress just for going out with me.
We met a few days later in Hlint again and i was stunned by the dress she wore.
After a little small talk we went on our date,i showed her the pomd at Haven and we got to talk there for hours.
She wanted to know all about me and i wanted to know all about her,we talked like nothing else in the world excisted and time flew.
Everything seemed so ....pure...so natural...i told her most off my life and she told me her lifestory.
She seemed intersted in me and my adventures so i told her the story of the hero's that held the Bloodwell and destroyed Synthar Blood.
She read me a poem on her iner sanctuary i believe, a place she could turn too to find peace and rest.
I layed my head on her lap and just felt happy and at peace,she asked me about Abigail and the initiations that will come up soon.
After a long time just enjoying the company we both were looking to eachother and suddenly we kissed...it felt like time stood still for a moment .

This young woman brought feelings in me above that i only have shared with a few,Shelu...my soulmate...Sabrissia ...my once lost love and Sa'kura...wife and love off my life and mother of Abigail.
I'm not sure what further happend as i was caught by this woman like a fly iin a web and liking it more then applepie.
She asked me when the initiations would be and i told her they will be in one and a half or two months,making it the 12th month off the year.
Casualy she told me that the second month of the new year could be a great time for two people feeling for eachother.
At fist i didnt understand but in not too miss pointers she made it clear that it would be a very good month to be married....
I kept playing for a while that i didnt understand her , but in the end i turned and looked over her belly to her grinning.
I asked her why she couldnt say the words and she answered that those words were the mans job and she only could try to make it clear.
Then i did something that surpriced myself but seemingly not her,i went on one knee before her and asked her that if we both still would feel the same in four months...if she would marry me...crypticly she answered that she would bet that she would say yes if that still was the case.
Smiling and strangly relieved i kissed her and time stood still again,once done i told her to come see the Haven house to see wich room she and her sister would rent.
Having decided that i will rent out the rooms on the groundfloor with doors she and her sister and Amilia wanted to rent rooms.
We looked around the house and i showed her the upstairs were i am writing this.
She saw the pool and it was clear that she loved it so i showed her a chest filled with Sa'kura her clothes and left her with the words to look if there was a bathingsuit in it so she could use the pool.
When she came out again i couldnt get my eyes to look at anything else then this beautifull woman standing before me.
I went looking for my swim clothes and having them found we got into the bath.
We talked and splashed water everywere, i massaged her back and shoulders and then things happend .
I can not write down or even start to give a glimp of what happend then and there,somehow we merged asif two become one.
lovingly she told me that she never had any experience like that before and looking to her and the water off the bath i realised howmuch she had honoured me.

Now she lays there ...my flower in the desert ...the hope i was looking for in others but never was able to find...the spark that gives me a feeling that was lost...the one that makes me feel whole again.
Before she went to rest she even honoured me more,she wants me to teach her what i know off Rofirein and wants to share my faith with me.
I asked her straight if she ever would try to change me and she sincerely answered no ..she loves the man i am now and thought it would be betrayal to myself if ever another changed me.
Somuch unknown wisdom in such a young woman for her standart,she told me that she will love Abigail because she is a part of me but never can replace her real mother and i know she is right....Sa'kura nor Shelu nor the feelings i had for Sabrissia can ever be replaced.
The feelings this beautifull moon elf brings up in my heart are new and not to be confused with older feelings that will always be there but are now put to rest.

[jan]

*The man in golden armor sits next to the tempel in Velensk and qiuckly writes something in his journal before entering the tempel and praying for insight and calmness for hours*

I am on my way to search the intire lands for my love.
She has left on the idear that she needs to learn more and needs to deserve the respect off my socalled "friends "before she will return.
I got two letters from Ranéwin that tell me so.
She included a rose enchanted with light to guide me on my path,but my path is with her and i will not rest before i find her or die trying to find her.
Since i dont have any idear where she might be i probably will go to places that are deadly even to me,but my love for her is to deep and complete to skip a place she might be.
She has left because off the looks and the remarks she got from some off my socalled"friends", if i make it back i will find out who they are and tell them once and forall that they dont have the right to question things that concern me and my life in a way they never will understand.
If i die on this search my death will be partly if not mainly by their actions.
When i lose JennaJade over this to the soulmother and i find that out somehow i will seek them out and ...........*he looks grim but doesnt write what he was thinking,letting the sentence unfinished*

*after letting himself cool down a bit he resumes*

Unfortunatly i have given her a key to the house in Haven wich gives her acces to the portal there.
I do not know howlong this search will take but i simply dont care.
Maybe i will miss the initiation for knighthood,maybe not,but i now know that loosing this spark of hope called JennaJade will probably be the end of my life.
I searched myself but i can not again find the strenght or the will to overcome yet another loss and if this loss is final i will retire from this world in a grand war on all that is evil and unjust.
I left a letter in our guildhall for all to read to explain and i hope they understand .*a copy of the letter is folded up in his journal*

Sister in faith Mylindra will travel with me on this search and i know that she will do whatever she can to aid me and help me in this.
She truely is one off the few that can make me stop and think if my feelings cloud my better judgement,she will become an even better priest then she is now and i suspect that if she wishes she could rise in the church further then she herself ever could think.

*the prayers at the bindstone to Rofirein*

Lord Protector,Golden One.
Please hear my call for help and guidence.
I am off to search for the love that ran from caused by people that think they have the right to interfear with my life.
Please guide me on my path to her and please keep my loved one safe My Lord.
Please give me insight in either awake state or sleeping so that i may find her and will be able to hold her once again.
I call on thy goodness to keep her and my daugther that i will leave behind safe and sound till the day i can hold them in my arms again.
Guide me My Lord,please guide me and sister Mylindra in the paths we are about to travel.
I pledged thee my life and blade and honour My Lord and i always will try to uphold the things You in your infinite wisdom stand for.
This search can mean that i wont be there once thy eartly representatives judge over the Knights to be.
Please My Lord understand that it is not disrespect that keeps me away then,but my search for my flower cannot wait at the risc that something might happen to her.

Thank you My Lord for comforting me by your faith in times like these and i hope this call for guidence will not be un answered.

*After his prayer he gets up and salutes and walks out to find Mylindra to start on the quest to find his love*

[jan]

Guildmembers.

A thing has happend that forces me to leave my chores be for the time being.
My love has ran off due to looks and talks off my socalled "friends".
I will move heaven and earth to find her and will be gone untill i do.
My sister in faith Mylindra will travel with me,so do not worry about my safebeing.

If any off you see JennaJade anywere, please tell her that i am looking for her and try to get her back home please.
Please try to convince her that she doesnt have to prove her worthyness to me or anybody else.

Barion Firesteed.

[jan]

*In A house on Dregar two people sit and talk,as one goes to sleep the other gets his journal out and starts to write*

A week has passed and stil no sign of my love,either we missed her or she hasn't been here .
The merchants we met underway didnt see her and unfortunatly the mercenaries and monsters we met sofar were not able to talk after the scirmishes we had with them.
Because we didnt want to skip any place we went from north point inwards working our way to Pranzis,that way if she came from Pranzis towards us we hoped to intercept her.
Before we went here i cleared The Broken Forest and Toran's crupt but no sign off her there either.
We will use my portal here tomorrow to start searching on Xantrill,i told Mylindra that probably it would prove to be deadly to travel there and she looked at me and told me that she never would let me travel there alone in the state i am in now and would aid with her magic as best as she could.
My love if ever you get to read this then please let this remind you that nomatter what others say or think i feel somuch for you that my life is worthless if i would lose you.
The search for you makes me see that i should not ask "if"you will mary me after four months,but it should be "will you mary me right after the initiations".

*he thinks about the initiatons and looks smiling to the sleeping form of Mylindra*

I thought my search for you my love would interfear with my preparations for those initiations but the opposite seems to be the case.
Mylindra keeps me on edge and i pray next to her every day to The Lord Protector too keep you safe and sound.
Never in my life have i felt closer to You then now My Lord and the fact that neither off us has fallen yet i solely thank too You .
Ofcourse i fell in Storans but that was my own foolishness,going in with out deathwards is never a good idear and if Mylindra would have been there i am sure i wouldnt have fallen.
If i am unable to make it too the initiations My Lord know then that in my heart i am a knight and i will keep fighting for You and the things You stand for.

[jan]

*right before they step into the portal a knock is heard on the door off the house,Barion opens the door to find a letter and eagerly reads it.After reading it he turns and tells Mylindra that he is called to Hlint by JennaJades sister and that he needs to go there fast.Mylindra calms him down and gently reminds him to not go off anywere with out her.Thankfully he smiles to her and assures her that he will not leave on the search again before he talked to her*

[jan]

*after softly getting up he grabs his journal and goes downstairs in his Haven outskirts house,glowing with love and joy he sits on his metalchest and ponders what too write before he begins*

I need to send a bird to Mylindra with the good news,my flower is back and wont go away like this ever again.
Right before we went to Xantrill a letter was delivered at the house in Pranzis,urging me too come to Hlint to get in contact with Solarina.
After running around in Hlint a few times she found me,I was disappointed at first that it wasnt my flower but Solarina talked to me and handed me a letter first.
It was a letter from JennaJade,letting me know that she had completed her first two quests that she had thought out for herself.
The first part was given too me by Solarina,seven letter adressed to me with JennaJades inner thoughts about me and her description off her love for me.
Still i need to read those but from her first letter i know it will be just that,her own investigation towards her heart and her feelings for me.
The second part i knew from her first letter to be service,service to other travelers and helping them too reach their destination by means off protection and if needed use off her blade and bow.
I was a bit scared for her but her sister has asked her straight in her face if she was okay.
Solarina told me that JennaJade was strangely closed towards her but did say that the soulmother has not visited her,my relief cannot be described.
During my talk with Solarina something happend that would change all that was going on,i got hit by a letter dropped by a bird.
The letter was more a scream then a request,Lex'or,a young friend i try to help with some off his troubles,called me to the campfire near Hlint with speed.
I quickly said goodbye to Solarina as a feeling came over me that this would be important because Lex'or never would call me if nothing was wrong.
On my way there i ran into Chrissy and she with out too much questions followed me too keep an eye on me i think.
The shock was great when coming to the campfire,JennaJade,my flower, was there...held by a spell Lex'or had cast long ago as i later heard.
All i could do was call her name and all around seemed to disappear as i looked at her.
First she seemed mad,then disapointed,then somewhat sad.
She started too talk but i missed most meaning to her words caught by her mere appearence.
After some time all i could do was ask a simple question."Why ? "
She looked at me and started talking,about stares and comments she had from some that call me friend,about the feeling she herself got off doubt...
The feeling that somehow her past had put a mark on her and that she needed to find out if her feelings realy were true as the "friends"questioned them.
She thought about it and desided the things that lead her too run off.
She felt she needed to search herself for the answeres on her feelings about me as she did in her letters send to me,not just her feelings but her heart speaking through her quill,pure and undisturbed.
Secondly she felt she had to taste something off the life i have been leading all these years,helping others by service and aid others if needed.
The thirth part i was affraid off ,since it was something that normaly only is experienced in rare cases.
She was to overcome her fear....and from the stories she told me at the pond i figured that could mean only one thing....facing certain death with head held high and fighting for what she is worth.
Lex'or caught her before she could go through with this thirth point she made herself and at first she tought she had failed.
I looked to her full off love and could not bring myself to judge her in any way,to be certain i asked her what her fear was....she told me it wasnt realy a fear but more the feeling that she herself had about being a coward and in some strange way she tought that was what my "friends"were meaning with their looks.
She thought she had to compete with Sa'kura to them and failed and that they somehow could see that long ago she had to stay and sit hidden away while terible things happend around ,she herself not strong enough to change a single thing and it weighted heavily on her .
We talked about her leaving and the danger off losing eachother,i did not and could not judge her or be mad at her in any way and i told her that aswell.
I asked her what her greatest fear was and she answered that it was her thinking herself to be a coward and possibly be right.
I told her i knew another fear and that if she wished she could face that very closeby.
She looked strangely at me at first and finaly asked what that could be....i looked her straight in her beautifull purple eyes and said the following words:
"one off your fears is seeing my die before you...and i am willing to go with you to a place to let them kill me...knowing that you will come to my aid nomatter what the odds are"
She looked at me and told me that indeed this was her fear but that if ever i would die in battle and not off old age she would seek the soulmother to either claim me back or else to join me in the afterlife.
Inside i could scream with joy but all i did ws look at her and trying to convince her that i will lay my life down for her.
It took her some time but finaly the reason why i could scream with joy seemed to become clear to her.
She looked at me and finaly sayd the words i wanted to hear,"i am not a coward"she looked a bit puzzled but relieved aswell.
"I will seek out the soulmother to either be with ye in life or in death..."Her words saddened me but relieved me at the same time.
Finaly she herself saw that the feeling that she had about herself was no longe grounded,for one that vowes to seek out the soulmother can not be a coward.
My heart saddened because the way she said it i know it to be thruth.
After finaly realy getting back together by a simple kis we turned to find that Chrissy was sitting with Lex's head on her lap and Lex strangly enough looking more dead then alive.
I checked him and he seemed exhausted and seemed to have lost weight and fluids .
JennaJade tried to put some off her magic in him because at first we thought it was caused by the long time that he used his spell on JennaJade that had exhausted him.
When her magic didnt help and Ellohanna was there i decided too pick him up and take him to the Aeridin tempel in Rangers Vale to try if they could help one off their faith.
On our way there we met up with Angel and unfortunatly Ellohanna had to leave.
After arriving at the tempel we tried all we could to bring Lex back to his positives but we didnt seem to have any succes.
JennaJade started blaming herself because she thought it was because off the spell and what that had took out of him that made him the way he was .
I searched his bags and checked his health again to find that he had exhausted himself by not eating and drinking far too little for a long period off time,the only things in his bags were raw meats .
Angel and Chrissy both seperatly went out to find a priest and JennaJade and myself started too feed him watered down stew as soup with the help off Sonya who had found us there .
After quite some time Angel came back with Serissa who was fortunatly in the Orc Bashers Shop in Hlint.
After checking Lex,Serissa she came to the same conclusion i had made and with help off some off her spells we were able to get Lex back on his feet again.
When he finaly found himself a bit he shared with us the tale about him and Ellohanna,from what i can make off it it is love that is shared but never will be.
Hopefully he will be able to pull himself up and out of the history those two share and finaly go on with living and i will be there whenever he needs my help.
When we were sure that he was and further would be okay i took my flower and showed her the house in Pranzis.
She doesnt like the house and wants to stay living at Haven,because she was questioned in Pranzis and clubbed for wearing a holy symbol.*he smiles*
She wears the symbol of My Lord Rofirein and realy is learning about him and what he stands for.
We did not talk much about Him yet together and i realy should tell her that i follow Rofirein,not automaticly the representatives that now lead the church.

*pondering his own thoughts about Rofirein and the church he closes his journal and sneaks upstairs to get next to his loved one in the bed and gently holds her,drifting into a healing and refreshing dreamland off himself and his love sitting on a bench watching seven beautifull children running the lawn being looked after by Abigail*

[jan]

*smiling he watches JennaJade who is showing him the dresses and skirts she has made,after a short while he goes downstairs to write*

I am a bit troubled my daugther,things are changing rapidly around me as i told you last time we sat and talked.
When returning after my search it was great to hold you in my arms once again and i told you that i will take a woman along next time i'll come visit.
The way things look now it wont be only the woman that your father loves but also the mother off your brother or sister.
The morning sickness,the seaking comfort and personal touches it all reminds me off your mother when she was expecting you .
Seems that her wish to have five children will start off fast and i want to be married before the child is born so i better start finding a date.

Your dad is troubled because off a talk he had with your stephmother Abigail,a talk that putts me in an awkward position and makes him look to others in a completely different way.
When JennaJade fell to the vines in The Broken Forest there was another there that left the group to die,one that ran off with out even taking out his blade to protect the group or come to their aid in any way.
To make it worse JennaJade has finaly shared with me one off those that questioned her and drove her to her quest to prove herself was the same as the one that fled that battle.
What makes it more awkward are two things,when ever i meet this man he is usualy in the company off Tegan and his name is on the list to be granted the initiations for knight.
I need to find Serissa and talk about this,i will not join the knights if this coward off a man is granted to join.
We met them outside off haven mines,him and Tegan, but the others told me we saw them inside earlier.
This man had the nerve to come to me outside and tell me he was sorry that they ran past us invisible.
If it would be a new adventurer that explored an area before forming a party to go through the explored area i could understand.

This however is a man that wants to become a knight,a knight that wants to stand for the values of his Lord,a knight sworn to protect the inocents and the weaker ones,sworn to uphold justice and bring the light of The Golden One into disorder and chaos.
Accompanied by Tegan,the taylor off the guild i am in,a powerfull spellslinger that doesnt need invisibility with a capable fighter next to her.
Above all that stands the fact that this man,Daniel Poetr,is part of a competing guild,a guild i myself have helped to start up.
I heard around town that the guild he is in can make the same things as we as OrcBashers can make.
Ofcourse this would be normal for a guild with experienced people and i know they work hard but....they have had losses in their members removing the more powerfull people from them and they are replaced by younger and less experienced people.
Still in some way they succeed to gather the materials that i myself nearly die when gathering them.
I heard that Tegan goes out a lot with them and i suspect that she helps them when going for those materials.
Nothing wrong with that...accept the fact that Tegan never brings any off those materials back to the guildhall.
My dream off making The Bashers the number one guild and give The Bashers the place they deserve in these lands back is slowly crumbling...
The thought off Raven Trading comes to mind more often lately...even when i know that others never can dedicate themselves to a cause as i can.

It is disheartening to again find out that others find it more important to do what ever they like instead off making time to gather as a guild the things we need to rise in our skills .
Now having seen how Tegan seemingly gets the materials she does bring to the guildhall,i decided that i wont work on any she brings in again for i will not work on things gathered by cowardly tactics  and seemingly are left overs that others cant use or things claimed by her for the mere fact that she knows i will have her head if she gives all to others forgetting her own guild.
Forgetting one that has searched for dark silk so she could be one off the first that could use it,forgett one that kept her chest filled with pelts she needs to train and get better.

I need to find Serissa.....

*with that writen he goes up to JennaJade telling her that he will search for Serissa and that once he gets back she better have a bag ready and some food for a travel because it is time she meets Abigail*

[jan]

*together with JennaJade , Barion sits and watches Abigail play happily and once in a while Abigail comes to them too give Jenna flowers or to simply hug Barion smiling. After the meeting for the first time with Jenna, Abigail took her along on her trip she takes when skipping school,showing Jenna her ability to seemingly talk too the animals and in the meantime watching Jenna and finaly deciding that she likes her. While they are away Barion takes out his journal and starts to write*

A few weeks back i found Serissa and had a long and eyeopening talk too her that lasted for several hours.
I explained her my fears about numerous things and we discussed them openly and as close friends.
Normaly Serissa is a bit concervative about matter she knows and hears, but this time we both talked freely and learned a lot.

I told her about Daniel and what he did at The Broken Forest and Serissa took it like i had done,she will contact the regional commander and Tarradon Duvall about it and i hope that things will be judged fairly.
When i told her that Daniel openly questioned Jenna's feelings for me she just sight and told me that with people that call me friends like that on my side, i never would have to fear any enemy.
I asked her why and she told me it was meant sarcasticly,that no enemy would would ever question my feelings but that seemingly my "friends"are doing that and judging with out talking to me first.
I smiled and told her that my friends would be looking out for me and that they maybe thought that i was going far too fast.
She looked at me seriously and asked me : "Are you ? Does your heart tell you it isnt right? Or does your heart tell you what we all see ,that you are returning to the man you once was and finaly leaving the gloomy moods you had before behind and enjoying life again? "
Smiling i answered her that i felt better then i had done in a long time and that i probably had news she wouldnt expect.
When she looked at me with raised brow i told her that i think that JennaJade is pregnant,told her she showes the same signs Sa'kura had in the early stages of her pregnantie.
She smiled and al she said was "well done Knight Barion"
We exchanged some stories we heard and i told her that since the incident with the druid healing an animal,leaving a wounded adventurer too die by healing the bear and leaving the man wounded,i had a hard time too trust any druid.
She looked at me and told me she could take the distrust away from most druids.
I asked her how and she replied with the knowledge she had on that matter.
The druid that healed the bear was Drogo,so all i need to distrust is him she told me.
I told her in my eyes it was outright murder and she nodded sadly.
I have not asked further but i suspect she has turned him in to the autorities and nothing has been with it.
Her beeing a priest makes it feels a defeat and big unjustice if things that are brought to be handled before court and never get too that stage are an abomination and an insult too what she has learned and was raised by,and too Rofirein Himself.

The expedition we were asked to support and back up moraly by "The Friends Of Hurm society" was probably the biggest disappointment i had with people i know and used to respect.
When sailing there i asked some questions and the answers left a bad taste in my mouth even then.
Serissa was there and she came to me when stepped away from the others and she told me that she had the same feelings.
Once ashore the talks between the rest off the group started and after trying to tell them what i had learned from talks to others that were there the first time they negotiated with the black but seemingly just was ignored i stood at the back listening.
Once Ozymandiaz,who was chosen by The Society and seemingly put up for it by the druids, took word i listend intendly.
His first words make my skinn crawl up and my mind was set at that instance.
"We are here for the cauldron as our main purpose"
The story was going that the dragon has in its possesion "The Cauldron of T'Care"(sp?)
The cauldron is searched for by those that want to use The Seeds of the Seasons to restore The Broken Forest.
In other words : the druids and every one that believes they are right.
Now it finaly turned out that they find the safety of even a town not as important as The Seeds,ready to risc the safety off Hurm by trying to get the cauldron in with the deal to leave Hurm alone ,knowing well enough that if they asked for too much the danger would rise that the dragon would turn down any deal.
When hearing Serissa tell them she would not come and some one almost cheerfully and hatingly said her goodbye i knew i couldnt stay,i waved and walked off.
Catching up with Serissa with out even bothering to listening if any one was asking anything.
We talked and w decided that the only thing we could do was travel to Hurm to warn the town and help them if anything might go wrong.
Up on reaching Hurm we asked too be allowed to talk too the mayor and when we told them that it was about the black finaly a guard went in too ask.
While the guard was in Quantum came too us,he too could not go with a group that would risc the life off a complete town to get a cauldron.
We were told to un arm ourself earlier so we told Q too do the same,when the guard returned a small exchange off words was uttered.
Resultin in the guard leading off Q to be put in jail and us able too talk to the mayor.
We warned him but he wasnt impressed at all,when we asked about Q he told us that the first group inwich Q was , was responcible for the death off his son in the first attack and that Q was to be trialed not going anywere from the cel he was in now.
Serissa started to argue a bit with this inreasonable men, resulting in her ending up for a short time in jail too.
I left the castle and did what i could by warning people and helping those that listened,looking around for a good spot to possition myself if things would go wrong.
After a while i was again joined by Serissa that was set free and i told her i had tried to send word to Velensk to let the Knights assembled there know off the situation and maybe get their help,but that it would take long..probably too long .for the boat to reach Velensk.
We made our stand in the middle off town for all too se so they knew we were there too help and waited.
Resting in turns we waited and at one time we saw the dragon fly in the sky,circling it seemed.
At that point the town grew restless and people stated to find shelter and the gaurds finaly moved to take their possitions.
Quantum was released from jail and came too us to share what ever faith we were facing and like us ready too give his life in the defence off Hurm.
The dragon just circling it seemed,till all of a sudden we heard shouts from the docks,running there we saw a ship out on the sea being melted to nothing with all hands it held.
Serissa was almost out off herself at the sight,thinking off those we saw use ships to flee Hurm once the dragon appeared.
I asked Q if he could make what kind off ship it was and he told me that too him it looked like a pirateship.
I wa a bit relieved then,because the original treaty we were to agree with the dragon included freeing Hurm from the pirates.
Serissa took it hard and kept telling us that it was murder and that the blood of the people that died on that ship was on the groups hands,the group we had left.

The dragon returned to circling and things settled down a bit,but we stayed on our post till the guards on the wall stood down at last.
After a long time the group came too hurm and Serissa told them the blood of the people on that ship was on their hands.
Lots off things then happend,things i wouldnt have thought off people that i knew.
One stated coldly that "it were only pirates"..."dont make somuch fuss about those"
My blood started too boil when one opend his mouth ,clearly vocaly attaking Serissa...Drogo.
I told him to shut up and that he was a murderer.
Most thought that i was talking about the ship and convieniently didnt hear my following word.
Only one that noticed was Kobal i think,but i'm not sure.
I told Drogo right in his face that healing an animal too help it kill an adventurer was murder in my eyes and that therefor he is a murderer.
The once great Remiel...better known as the fallen paladin now...rushed to Drogo's aid with words in a pathetic attempt to try too safe Drogo's face.
Drogo himself tried smartly to put my feelings on the losses i have had in my life.
All i did after that was look to him with a promiss in my eyes, that i am sure he in all his selfcentered glee didnt even see,to bring him down if ever he makes another step wrong.
I told him he wasnt worth the breath i used to talk about or too him and left.
I will ask Reus what to do further with this Seeds thing and i hope he gives me free hand in it , for if he does i will go seek for the seed they miss and before their eyes destroy it if they dont include all to talk about the way too use the seeds.
I heard rumors that the seeds can restore more then just Broken Forest and i want them to investigate that ,not pin themselves down to -just- restore the forest alone.
Another thing that connects me too the seeds is a promiss i made too Serissa and Q ...and wrote on a letter discussing the seeds.
The child Q found long ago,Sonya,Is wanted by a balor that holds one off the seeds,he wants to exchance the seed for the child.
I made the promiss that whoever touches Sonya with the intention to use it too exchance it for the seed will be hunted down by me and killed.
Handing over a child to a balor is outright murder and there can be only one penalty for that.
Knowing this goes in against everything i wishes to stand for as a Rofireinite, i truly hope it will never be nesicary.

But i never broke a promiss and never will.............

[jan]

*he opens his journal and sighing he starts too write*

Jenna and myself had a little lovers quarrel last night,first she told me she was feeling sick and had a cold so i told her she should rest.
Not just for herself but also for the little one growing inside her,she ignored my remark first but after a while she said that work makes strong and that she needed to finish the "making cozy "off the house.
She kept running around with furniture and things and i started to tease her, telling her she wouldnt get something she likes for three weeks if she wouldnt listen.
It got out off hand and angrily i told her that i wouldnt touch her for three weeks  and that if she started nagging me about it i would seek out her causin,that according to her is in town.
She even told me when she said her causin was in town that she never was too see me.
I dont know what is wrong with her causin but Jenna's behavior wasnt like it normaly is and nor was mine with the initiations coming closer and closer.
When i woke up she wasnt in the house and now after waiting nearly a day she still hasnt returned.
I dont know where she is,but since she didnt leave anything like last time i think she will be fine.
I'll leave her a letter to explain why i wont be here when she returns the next two weeks and will be off to finalise my preparations for the initiations.


*the letter*
My Flower.

If you come home in the next two weeks you wont find me here.
The time has come to prepare myself for the initiations and i need to do that with out the distraction off your lovely presence nearby or i will fail.
As always i will visit Abigail on the same three days i always do,so if you need me you can send a message there.
Preparing too me means praying and thinking in solitude, so please dont think i will seek out your causin .
As i told you before our argument,i will never touch another because my heart is yours and not even magic can change that.
I am not mad at you for putting my things in other chests but i am not very pleased that you think so lightly about sickness during your pregnantie.
Please never forget that i love you and never will cheat on you.

Love Barion.

[jan]

*He takes out his journal and starts too write*

Jenna already has given me my present for the marriage.
She decorated the house so it feels like a home once more.

Quantum and Serissa are finaly married.
The ceremonie was a very nice one and was led by Mylindra and Dora.
Jenna stood next too me and i couldnt help but feel proud that this beautiful elven woman wants to be mine soon.

The initiations followed the wedding fast,so fast that Serissa had to pospone her honeymoon to attend it.
I talked Jenna in coming too,because i feel calmer and more secure with her around.

The initiations were opend by a test off faith off some sort before we were allowed to enter the tempel for the actual tests.
JennaJade was my "supporter" as Rain was Daniels "supporter".
Serissa didnt "support"any one , i guess to show that she was neutral too all.
We started with six and were asked questions about our faith and our depts off our hearts.
Four made it too the tempel and proceeded in.
I was asked too go first , so i did.
Under a helmet with some magical name i was asked questions that i wont put down to protect the initiations.
I answered as my heart and feelings told me and i hope i am ready to accept knighthood if the council deems it so.

Now, a few days later, a man is going around Mistone too ask friends about me and my past.
I found out it is some one from the church that holds an eye on things concerning the faith.
If they had asked i would have given them my journal ,should save them a lot off effort and time.

Abi was on the wedding , together with Sonya.
They hit it off as friends and played most off the day together.
Abi looked a bit funny when she saw the way i was holding JennaJade during the wedding,i think i need to talk too her about the feelings her dad has for this beautifull woman.

[jan]

*Walking tall and proud in his shining goldencoloured armor he picks up his journal and starts too write*

Lot off things have happend and its time to reflect on those.
I had a talk with Abigail,explaining that her dad is in love with J-J and that we will get married soon.
At first she just looked and said nothing,then she simply asked why.
I treated her as an adult and explained too her that J-J makes me feel complete and secure,she looked at me and asked if she would be her mother then.
When i told her she wouldnt be her mother she looked surpriced a bit and asked why not.
Slowly i explained her that J-J would love her as her own child,but never could or would take the place of Sa'kura.
I told her the bond between a mother and her child is formed at a very early stage and never can be replaced by another and that J-J never had the intention too replace Sa'kura in any way.
Abigail sat silent for a bit and looked at me...then came the question i knew would come and feared.."Does she replace mama for you dad? "
Searching my heart i looked at Abigail and told her the truth.."No,your mother cannot be replaced , not even for your dad,but...the feelings your dad has for this woman are as pure as the ones he had for your mother"
Suddenly she smiled and a laugh escaped her..."I like Jenna",then her face went sad"but i miss mama...i heard all about her ..but i can never hold her "
Opening my arms too comfort her i got a surprice ...she stood up and walked off.
I found her again at Sa'kura's grave,placing flowers all around....softly saying she would never accept another mother..
My heart broke nearly and i just stood there ..looking at her ...when she felt my eyes on her she tirned and saw the tears in my eyes..she came too me and asked why i was crying.
I looked over her head and told her i missed her mother still ..but that life goes on and that her mother would be happy for me ...happy that i found love and peace again.
Again i explained her that Jenna never wanted or could take the place her mother had left,but that the simple fact was that i love this woman and want to be with her.
She slowly nodded and told me she was happy too see her dad happy ...but that she didnt knew how she felt right at that time.
After some more talk we made an agreement,she will be her normal self and go out a bit with Jenna , to get too know her and too see if they realy can get along.
If things go well Abigail will come home and live with us , if not ...she will return too the village and live there like she does now ..me visiting three days a week.

I have listend around after comming back from my solitude too clear my mind and the things i have heard sadden me and anger me.
Rumours go that people speak badly about Daniel and that JennaJade is responcible for it.
Friends off Daniel have outright refused her to join them on adventures and cancelled orders they had with her for molds and glass ingots,
These people should learn too think and maybe ..after using the little brain they have ....would come too the conclusion that it is impossible for one that is so short a time too have such an influence as they give her.
Maybe.......if one is bright enough......they even could figure out that the only ones that could have such an influence are people that are here a long time and that those people dont react on one tale alone.
Ofcourse it is simple too pick on one that is weaker then those they should face if they thought about it...guess it shows what kind off persons they realy are .

THE INITIATONS

The initiations are completed now.
I had some doubts because off a letter i got earlier .
The letter told me to be present at the finalisations of the initiations, but that they had some more questions for me and that not all they had found out was good.
After some thought i decided too simply go and answer any question they might have from the heart.
Also made the decision that i would vanish from the populated world if denied,for my presence if denied would be dirt on the name of Rofirein himself.
The investigators did their job well,they turned my life upside down,finding all i once did wrong and all that spoke in my favor i guess.
They investigated all initiates and were very strickt in their job.
Going to the finalysation i met Ferrit and told her that i wasnt sure,she was kind and told me again that if anyone ever should become a knight it was me.
Before the whole thing started i prayed too become clear in my mind and too try too find peace for whatever might happen.
Daniel and myself wre the only ones present that aplied for knighthood , we later found out that the other that was with us earlier had an accident and drowned after beeing swept overboard on a trip.
The investigators realy had been good in their job .
Sir Breten firsty honoured Jennara and Kobal,Jennara was granted an upgrade on her positions from knight to division Captain.
Kobal was thanked for his work for Rofirein in general.
While they raised Jennara in rank a thought shot through my head..how can it be that a pacifist monk has learned more then a specialised fighter while shorter in this world ?Am i the only one that wonders about those things ?Or is it my personal dislike off this silent whispering woman that takes every oppertunity too bring others down once they do something wrong in her eyes,but refuses too see she herself is far from perfect?

While they honoured Kobal i couldnt help but think off the talk we had long ago about me searching for a god .
He told me then that i should seek out Voraxites, for my sacrifieses at the Bloodwell surely would be enough too give me a place among them.
Not one word passed his lips about Rofirein that day, no efford he ever took too see if i would be material to be a fellow follower of his own god.
Yet now he was praised on his work in the name off Rofirein across the lands in all the time that has passed since he himself aplied for knight.
I couldnt help but wondering if they knew he was with the group that endangered Hurm soo easely,if they knew that he had send me too another gods followers too let them convince me too join their ranks.

Then Daniel was up to be judged.
As said before, the investigators did a fine job it seemed,he was praised for his behavior recently,but they had some doubts ( just as i had and still have ).
He was told too tell the tale of how and why he was there that day too become a knight.
Hes tale was one off compasion from others and about him learning things from them,or atleast that is what my perception was.
The officials werent conviced by it i think and it showed in their following actions.
Instead off denying him a chance to become a knight, they made him squire.
A squire if i am correct is a beginning knight in training and under observation too determine if that one is truely fit for the job.

Then it was my turn.
They had some doubts that i clearly could hear in their words and see in their looks.
Then i too ( as Daniel|) had too tell how it was that i turned up too offer my services and why i became a Rofireinite and thought i would be a good knight.
Turning too those that were there too witness only i told my tale off searching and despite people seemingly wanting to stear me too other thought,finaly finding Rofirein in my heart.
Turning to Sir Breten i thought i saw a shimmer off amusement in his eyes,maybe even a shimmer off recognition.
Both Daniels blade and my blade were put before Rofirein and given a name."The dragon claw"
Then came the surprice ...i was not named simple knight...they saw me fit too serve more then just as knight it seems...they named me ..division Captain!
Stunned i heard the words,not realy believing them as they were spoken..Sir Breten took my armor and had it blessed by Rofirein aswell.
"The scales of thruth"is its name  and i will do aything in my power too never faulter the trust and respect i got from the oficials there that day.


//ooc : the thing about Daniel and JennaJade was solved and i know that , but in char these are and were Barions thoughts on it and since this journal is as much in char as i can be i had too write about it.Iff all of a sudden i run into this information i now released in my PRIVATE journal is used against Barion or JennaJade i will put in a complaint about meta gaming refering too this journal and this warning.
//double OOC: the former metagaming out off my journal had three people on the edge off leaving Layo all together,it would be nice if those that use the information that only can be found in journals finaly realise that people and characters can be damaged by using the PRIVATE information..Thanks.

[Leanthar]

//Excuse this post. I am sorry you had a problem with a few players meta-gaming. It really is getting old, for sure. There are few that just do not know how NOT to meta-game and sadly it destroys the fun for people in the community. I hope that eventually those few players learn how to truely RP and they can get away from the meta-game nonsense. But I am not sure that will happen as those few are also the ones that tend to claim innocense or ignorance. Sad, because we all know that deep down they know what they are doing but they are just ignoring that "feeling" because it suits their needs or "control" at the time.

[jan]

*Barion walks into his bedroom at Haven Outskirts and takes his journal and quill,he sits down and ponders before he starts to write*
"Lots has happend , but mostly things no one would read if they had the choice.To be complete i will write it however"
*With these words he starts writing*

Many things have happend in my private life and i am happy for most off the things.
Our solitude has brought the joyous event off becomming father and mother off a very beautifull twin something that i will never forget.
We were blessed by a boy and a girl, Barion jr. and Trinity.
Everything went perfectly well and with the help off the old woman living across the hut i use in the vilage the delivery off the babies was done fast and safe.
Abigail has seen how Jenna and the old woman worked hard to make places ready for the twins and i build a new room too the hut to make a children room .
Abigail seemed a bit jealous, so i build her a room aswell so that she too has her own place in the house.
Jenna and Abigail have been together  for a while before the birth off the twins and it looked like they both respect eachother to say the least,i only can hope that it will turn into friendship or even more.
Dalan comes by from time to time and still talks and teaches Abigail some things, but he is quiet towards me and i think i understand why.
With out going into it further i accept his doubts on those things and wont bring them up if not needed, for i think he can see now that the love off Jenna for me and Abigail is one that is pure and good despite what others may think off it.
After becomming the father off the wonderfull twins i had a talk with Abigail and sat with her , both holding one off the twins , and asked her what she felt and why.
Surpricingly she knew what i meant and said"I feel i love these two daddy , but i also wonder if they will break in to the life we lead lately"
I told her that ofcourse our life will change for the simple fact that the two need attention and love just like she does and asked her if she could help us to raise the twins a bit.
She smiled and said that it wasnt the answer she was expecting because she heard that parents normaly would try to let the older one think nothing would change.
When i looked at her frowning she smiled and hurried to say that she could have known for one never lying to her was her dad .
She agreed to help out as much as she can and seeing her with the twins , helping Jenna giving them food and drinks , my heart grows with pride and love...
for now i feel the family is growing together and things will turn out fine.

On my return to Hlint for some guildthings, i met with Tegan on the streets.
We started talking and came again to the things i need to improve my crafting and my unwillingness to ask others to take the riscs i myself would not.
Would not....for i decided that its time to start taking those riscs for my crafting has been at a standstill long enough .
While we were talking , Boon Loom joined us and we talked some more coming back to the point Tegan i started on.
Boon said it wasnt that hard and that we could go get adamantium right at that time if we wanted.
I let myself be persuaded to do so and we went off to Firesteep.
With out too much trouble we got the adamantium and for the first time since i lost two strands there i felt comfortable, mostly because i was with people that through items found and skills learned were more powerfull then i could ever imagen.
The trip was a real good one and i hope that in the future there will be more so i can start becoming the best weaponmaker this world has ever seen.

*Barion puts down his quill and closes his journal, he goes to the empty bed and kneels saying a prayer to Rofirein asking for the safekeeping of his loved ones.He gets in the bed and dreams off his family having a good time in the vilage and in his sleep he smiles as he thinks of little Abigail helping Jenna and proudly telling in class what a joy it is to be involved in bringing up the twins*

[jan]

*Barion walks around in the guildhall of The Bashers after checking the things needed to be refilled and sits down to write some in his pocketjournal,a small book he uses to write on his travels so he can copy it into his journal at home*

Finaly i could bring myself top return to the world as most people know it.
The slander and behind-the-back talk had gotten the best off me for a while and i decided to stay with my family in the village to calm down and let everyone find other targets to bad-talk and slander over.

While i was in the village , Abigail ( who is preciesly like her mother) showed that she can be reckless and foolish.
She sneeked off with her best friend and explored the forest around the village and areas further on that she had never visited.
I dont know what preciesly happend, but she returned sick as a dog bitten by spiders .
After grounding her for a long time and getting her back too health, i decided that training her in selfdefence would probably be the best thing i can do.
The last few months i have trained her and everyone in the village that was willing in fighting and tactics.
By training them all i hope i have improved their chance to defend their village if i am out and i made sure Abigail knows how to safe her life if she gets in trouble again.

Over the years i have seen the lands slowly changing from what i knew to what it has become today.
Towns have disappeared and some were renamed to their old names, some just vanished.
I will travel the lands and get to know it once again soon, for i need to locate the recourses we as a guild need to be able to finaly start selling things on a larger scale then we do now.

The time is drawing nearer that the "deal" some "hero's"made long ago with Milara will end.
I will try to keep up to date trough the tempel off Rofirein and trough the intelligence network of The Knights to be prepared for whatever it is that could occur.

Soon i will need to have a talk with Abigail, i will need to find out if she is willing to join her father and her brother and sister and Jenna in their new life in Haven Town.
I hate to pull her away from everything she has ever known and think it will be best to ask her before i make a mistake.

*He closes his journal and goes into the guildhall,he looks around and a smile settles on his face*
"Hello lovely Tegan, M'Lady Serissa.....Barion reporting for duty once more"
*smiling he hugs both wispering"I missed you two"*

[jan]

*A few hasty lines are written in the journal*

Somethings better cant be explained....had a fight with Abigail and got angry, resulting in me sweeping her off her feet and blindfolded bring her to Haven City.
She will be living with her family as is normal and if she thinks she can be the one to make those kind off decisions, she finally will see another side off her father.*sighs*

I will send word to those that were visiting her in the village that she now lives in Haven City and that they are welcome to come visit her here,but the letters will also hold the question that they will not aid Abigail to find the village and lead her there to try to remove the possibility that i will have to get her out off the village again.

With the parents off her friends i have made the deal that her friends can come visiting if they want and that i solely will be responsible for their well-being if they come.

All this family things come at the worst time ever since lots off things are happening that need my attention and presence .

Rofirein faith is seemingly in dire straights.
M'Lady Serissa and myself were taken to the temple in Vehl and told a few things by Master Reus and a Lady that came from Pranzis.
The Golden Voice is apparently poisoned and its just is a matter off time before The Golden One calls him to his side.
Both Reus and the Lady spoke about a traitor that has poisoned The Golden Voice and if i get permission i will aid M'Lady Serissa in her investigations to find the traitor and nail him/her to the highest tree i can find...in the city if needed.

While attending a story-night i heard two tales about dragons...white dragons...one was a tale from the past told by M'Lady Katrien...the other a story off the now ..told by a bard named Tom

Directly after the tales i heard someone call someone else captain and automatically i looked who was calling me*blushes writing this*
I caught a spark off a conversation between a merchant and a captain off the guard and got interested enough to move closer and listen in.
The merchant told about a ship he owns that was attacked by the white dragon out off the last tale we heard and he was looking for people to do something.
After a talk with him i decided to look into the matter ...he first wants to know for sure that this dragon indeed exists there, if so he wants a party to negotiate with the dragon to try and keep the trade route free off attacks.
I told him i would look into it , but for myself i know that if this attempt to negotiate with the dragon will endanger people living in city's or town's or villages nearby , i will do all i can to stop this negotiations.

Enough rambling about things no one will understand...
The guild

The chests are filled and the stock is up to a level that allows us to start posting on the trading boards i think.
Some old members have contacted us to ask how things go and if they still can be part off the guild.
As soon as we can have a meeting we will expand with Mister Voon Loom and look if the old members will still join us after the changes we made to the distribution off coins and the spirit off democratie that the guild now has.

[jan]

*Barion picks up his journal and happily starts to write in it, while he writes he teases Jenna a bit and plays with Abigail when he thinks over how to write things.Abigail being the one that is always curious gets him to tell aloud what hes writing and she seems to start to understand that her father is writing his tales down for her ...she hugs him halfway and tells him she will read the journal completely once she gets his permission*

Family things seem to go better now*smiles*
It happens more and more often that i come home and the house is empty but for the twins and Solarina.
Jenna and Abigail go out more and more often and seem to grow a bit closer together*chuckles*
I guess Abigail finally notices that Jenna and she herself have more in common then she thought.

Dalan told me something i already expected and i have ..after long thoughts..decided to let Abigail be tested 'and if she really has feeling for magic, taught by Rain.

I agreed with Rain to take Abigail to Hemp and deliver her to his guildhall on Fridays so he can test if she has feeling for magic and start teaching her if she has.

I picked the Friday because Abigail still needs to go to school the rest off the week in Haven and i can combine it with guild-things easily.

I have re arranged my room in the guildhall so we both can sleep there and have the Saturday for us as father and daughter.

Sometimes Dalan accompanies us on a small travel adventure and we go shopping a lot*smiles..."women"..*

Abigail seems to adjust fine to the change from village to town and she seems to finally find her way around town without getting too much in trouble.

Once a week i still visit the village ..i don't want them to think i forgot about them and the villagers seem to understand that i only did what i had to do and they don't seem to hold a grudge towards me or Abigail for leaving.

I help the village in every way i can and slowly it prospers again, they will be fine i think..living in more peace than anyone in a town ever will.