To: Elohanna Min A'Litae Care of the Tower Academy Port Hempstead Municipal District Port Hempstead Kingdom of Brelin Mistone Angel. I enjoyed waking to you watching me, and our morning together. I'm sorry about my cooking, and the burnt toast and that stuff I called tea. I applaud your bravery in the face of my breakfast! I confess to being very mixed up, as I feel you must be, about what we're doing. Or very carefully not doing. My heart still belongs to another, and so does yours. And yet - you soothe me. You feel like shelter, when I need that so much. And I know what stirs in my chest is more than a pat on your hand, or a chaste hug in times of need. Time was, I would jump into your embrace and not look back. And I still want to - stars and song, I want to. But, I have to be honest. If she were to walk back into my life, I could not resist her any more than I can resist breathing. I wouldn't even want to. I think it might be the same for you and your Omar, yes? So...do we offer each other shelter, with that caveat? Do we accept that there might be need to share our hearts, each of us? I can, and will, but you may not be as comfortable with that. I would lean back with a cheery smile and say we're "just friends" but...I felt you next to me, in the night, and I'm only glad you were spooning my back and not the other way around or I'd have been a great deal more embarassed than just my usual morning issues and your giggling about tents. I put it before you and in your slender hands. I have room in my heart, Elly. Neither of us know what the future holds, but if holding each other makes that uncertainty easier... Here is your song, I'm finally happy with it. Let me know what you think. We are the Al
To: Elohanna Min A'Litae Care of the Tower Academy Port Hempstead Municipal District Port Hempstead Kingdom of Brelin Mistone Angel. I enjoyed waking to you watching me, and our morning together. I'm sorry about my cooking, and the burnt toast and that stuff I called tea. I applaud your bravery in the face of my breakfast! I confess to being very mixed up, as I feel you must be, about what we're doing. Or very carefully not doing. My heart still belongs to another, and so does yours. And yet - you soothe me. You feel like shelter, when I need that so much. And I know what stirs in my chest is more than a pat on your hand, or a chaste hug in times of need. Time was, I would jump into your embrace and not look back. And I still want to - stars and song, I want to. But, I have to be honest. If she were to walk back into my life, I could not resist her any more than I can resist breathing. I wouldn't even want to. I think it might be the same for you and your Omar, yes? So...do we offer each other shelter, with that caveat? Do we accept that there might be need to share our hearts, each of us? I can, and will, but you may not be as comfortable with that. I would lean back with a cheery smile and say we're "just friends" but...I felt you next to me, in the night, and I'm only glad you were spooning my back and not the other way around or I'd have been a great deal more embarassed than just my usual morning issues and your giggling about tents. I put it before you and in your slender hands. I have room in my heart, Elly. Neither of us know what the future holds, but if holding each other makes that uncertainty easier... Here is your song, I'm finally happy with it. Let me know what you think. We are the Al'Noth outlaws Monsters with so many different flaws Heroes who earn such warm applause What we are is what they choose to see We do what others fear to do We watch what others fear to view We twist and bend the weave's taboo What we are is what they wish to be We are the saviors of the world Pariahs, fools and mages all of us We dance the palm of magic's hand Masters, slaves and sages, all at once We move the magic of the spheres We see what's more than it appears Power stretching thousands of our years What we do will change your history We stop the world with a word We make sure that we are heard We shape the unreal and absurd What we do keeps our souls free We are the story witch What they scare their children with We are creatures of imagination We live the dusty books We bask in the awed looks We fight and bend to temptation We are magic... Andrew
Angel.I know you've been busy with the Academy, and so I write to hopefully give you a moment's read and a smile. You have asked me about my history and so for the first time I will write it all down, and give you full disclosure on the man who sings for you.My family is primarily from Huangjin with a few exceptions, one being my paternal grandmother Rose. She migrated from the Kingdom of Erilyn on Alindor, a small town girl looking for a better life and who wanted to help here on Tilmar. So she told me, anyway - she didn't talk about her birth home very often. I remember her as being so tall, tall as the sky, taller than Grandfather Liang even, with her fading red hair always catching the light and making a halo around her face while she taught me to play Bella. Yes, a romantic vision, but she was a remarkable lady. I still do the ritual of honor to ancestors when I am home, for her and for Grandfather. She and Grandfather fell in love just as in the story - they told me that tale when I was a boy.My maternal grandfather Akio has passed and I never knew him. My maternal grandmother is still alive, and I call her Gramma at her request. Her given name is Chihiro Mai. She is a traditional Huangjin lady; demure, quiet, subservient. Everything my mother is not, so I know what mother's personal rebellion was in her younger years. I think that is what allows my mother and I to understand each other sometimes. She remembers...not fitting in. My mother's name is Nana Margret, but she goes by Margret. Nana is a traditional name Huangjin name but she's never liked it. She says it makes her sound like a goat.My father is William Reid. You might wonder about the names given in my birth home, but there has been a fad of "exotic" names here for some time, and William is considered "exotic" (as is Andrew, and Margret) to my people. Odd, eh? As for Reid, that is one of the other influxes of blood from off the island. All I know is that the family name is over four hundred years old, Corman Reid was very tall and blonde, and he was supposed to have come from Dregar. Actually, if my interpretation is right, he escaped from Dregar, so it would seem I have more color in my past that the family would like to admit. It wasn't until his influence was two generations gone that the geneology was kept as it should have been so I don't know more than that. I think this might have been on purpose.Let's see - I have a sister, as I told you, and a brother, and a niece, and an Aunt Holly who is my mother's sister and is much like Gramma. I told you how my brother Shuichi has made a hobby of resenting me, and how he's taking up the family pottery business that great-Grandfather Kin started. Shuichi (his "exotic" name is Robert which is never used unless I call him Bobby which will always start a fight, so I do it often - we're both still children I think!) is married to Miyu, and they have one daughter that I have told you of, my niece Opal Mai. I don't see much of Miyu, she is also a traditional woman of my culture. The few times I've been able to talk with her - always in the kitchen, as cooking is her art - she has shown a fantastically dry sense of humor though. I hope Opal gets a dose of that as she's already got a gift for making people laugh at not quite seven years old.My sister -- again, I told you. She does not speak to us. She is married to her society man, and her plebian family and drunken sot of a brother are a stain on her upward mobility. I know what pain this causes my mother. I think I write mother so often to try to dull that. I'm not sure how Aya got to be that way or if it is just the variability of human nature. I know this sounds naive but how can you turn away from your parents, so long as they were not abusive? Our parents treated us fair, taught us, and stood by us as we grew. The very second Aya was able to break away, legal marrying age without parent's assistance being fifteen, she did. That's why I don't talk about her. I don't write her either and I doubt she'd look at the letters if I did. I guess it still hurts a little, upon reading that.So that's my family. I mentioned growing up singing, learning violin at eight from Grandmother Rose, and being adept at avoiding work throughout my childhood. I shirked whenever I could, chores, lessons, all of it. I learned when I was interested. I read books or played Bella, and I got into mild trouble once and a while but otherwise I was a polite child I'm told. Polite and lazy. I came to Ilsare at eight as well, and this I will tell you in speech because the printed word is not enough.I mentioned Xeen to you before, but here is a more detailed look at how the Purple Lady has played my life. When I was a teenager I had no idea what I wanted to do and I was at the mercy of the feelings that boys have before turning men. Wait -- I'm still at the mercy of those feelings...I met a pair of young women one fine summer day while I was out playing Bella and strolling the square. They flirted, I flirted, they invited me to come back and play for them privately -- I went, of course. Things happened, and my horizons were expanded. They seemed to enjoy me much as a sated cat enjoys a mouse, and I continued to be entertainment for them for about a year and a half. To a boy my age their attention was such an astounding gift -- I daresay I was quite cocky then, knowing what I did that others did not or could only pretend to boast about.A month before my sixteenth birthday the ladies took me to a party in a temple. Xeen's temple. I will skip the details of the next few years, but when I had finally shaken the temple's influence for good I was a full-blown alcoholic and a drug addict. Perhaps just "addict" is a better word. I should also mention discovering -- here I hesitate, because this is very personal; not that I don't trust you but you may find this distasteful -- that I enjoy a certain amount of pain mixed with pleasure. I have to tell you that. It's not required for intimacy but it is...exciting, to me. I suppose my pain threshold is a little higher than it should be. Perhaps that's just the way I'm made? I managed even as an addict. I played concerts, private engagements, and on a few occasions the Clamshell. It has always been shocking to me, especially after having formal education, how mediocre I really am. There are violinists that are so much better than I -- I think the alcohol helped me forget that. I was never first chair. I was good enough to make money to eat and cloth myself, but I lived in my family home, not on my own.I told you why I left Huangjin; my assumed nuptials and my escaping of it. Love is another thing I'm constantly learning. I know familial love. But Eros, one of the defining tenants of my Heartsong, has been a failing for me. The one I lost began that lesson as no one else has. And I have learned, Elly, that there are things that cannot be forgiven. I hope to not make such mistakes with you. That I am an addict will never change, but my choice to follow that path has, and the consequences that follow I will avoid. Like making drunken decisions that air private things that result in painful betrayal. That sort of thing. I don't promise to be perfect. But now that you know the worst of me -- addict, enjoys pain, has made a tome's worth of bad decisions -- rest assured I will give you the best of me as well. This has gotten rather long hasn't it?I'll wrap up now and say simply that I hope we see each again soon.Love,Your Songbird
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Topic: Elohanna Dawnstar - The Journey Continues (Read 3969 times)
