Fighter musician at your service.

[Hellblazer]

Dear Diary,

I Don't understand people.. They were all ready to stop me from hurting myself, forcing me to do things to get me better. But they are ready to let my sister Ayana take a path that will end up hurting her. And yet she only tells me to trust her, without any other reasons to do so, when I can see where this is going.

There is things I don't say.. things that maybe I should say.. If only she knew what they truly stand for, for herself, not just from him... He told her himself that he will never be able to be faithful.. So why in her right mind, would she go and be with him when she knows that? Why deliberately hurt herself?

I can't stand this.. I don't want to see her hurt the way Christian father was hurt. To say that for 20 years Christian never knew that the one he thought to be his father was not, and that his mother didn't even remember who his real father was... the flesh and magic nights... I was sixteen when she brought us there, he was twenty when he saw that night, his mother cheat on Samson...

"You're father knew he was marrying a Xeenite priestess"

Can she really want this? to live what Samson did? he staid because he had committed himself.. the same way she committed herself to become better than Dad as a ranger.

I don't know what to do.. and even Ysaline thinks it's alright that she should go with him and get hurt.

"I"m sure she is wise enough to weight the consequences"

I wonder if she truly sees them

I love my sister so much.. I don't know if I can see her get hurt that way.. without getting hurt myself..

[Hellblazer]

Dear Diary,

I'm hurt.. deeply hurt. I'm even more hurt to see that she doesn't understand. That what I proposed was only to make it easier on her, that there was others like her that didn't hard lined like she does. I wasn't juging her or even trying to tell her how to be, but just exposing that there is other ways. And yet she hurt me deeply. I'm draining her.. she said. What she didn't know is how many time I had to endure skully about how she was hating him, how many times I tried to explain to him and to others, that she didn't hate them, but that she was only following her faith the way she views it.  She thinks I don't understand but I did and still do. But right now I'm to hurt to even be near her, it rips my heart appart because on one hand I want to be able to do things with her, and on the other hand I want to be able to do things with my other friends, and in the middle, I wanted to do things with all of them at the same time. But when I tried, there is always something where I have to choose between on or the others, then I have to explain myself on why I chose one over the other. Or why one of my closest friend is acting the way she does to my other friends.

I don't think she realises how taxing that is, but I didn't mind enduring it, because she is my friend and.. still maybe more than just friends. It pains me a lot.. so much.

Ayana and I talked again about drasd. I still don't think he is the right person for her, I still think she will get hurt. And I tried my best to explain it to her. At the same time she took the time to explain things to me, and I better understand some of her points, but at the same time, we don't agree on what love is at the basic of it. She is ready to make all the sacrifices even though he will never make the one that would ensure she will be truly happy.

Uncle Omer did point out somethings though, and I don't want us to be two sister that will be torn apart and not able to be together. This will mean that I will have to step on my own principles.. but she's my sister. SO from now own I will worry silently, I will bite my tongue at seeing what he represent enter our family. And I will put a happy face, even if deep inside of me, my heart will be torn knowing that she will not have the best there is for her, the best that she deserves.

I keep training, my shouts are getting there, I can see the effects getting stronger with time. I just wish Jharl was there more often, and that he would finally give me the scrolls of the chants he told me about. But I just keep going and going, and I know I will get there. I just hope it won't take so long that I will not be able to actually put it to good use before I am no more.

And I still don't see Chiara much, always doing her priestess things. We see each other but very little, It's heart-wrenching. I'd love to be able to spend more time with her... I still sing everyday by the water for her, awaiting her. I miss her so much its tearing me apart.

[Hellblazer]

Dear Diary,

I have been getting some really good results lately. On my trainings with G'ork and other people we know, we have all noticed how my shouts are having their effects on the bandits and Trolocs. If they are not trying to run in fear, they are cowering and losing their ability to fight properly. I'm so glad that I am finally having this much results. Jharl would be proud of me I'm sure.

I met this funny lass, Galathea is her name. She makes me laugh a lot and we seem to get along great. We had a few trip together too, she's a cleric of beryl. We're suppose to go do something again soon, can't wait. I've shown her what I was almost mastering, her and my sister in fact. I just hope I will master them quickly.

And Chiara still so busy that we hardly spend time together.. I really miss her, but she has her duties and I understand that. Just wish they weren't taking her away so much.






// ooc

She now has the equivalence of  Terrifying bellow with her bard spell fear, and of Deafening chant with her bard spell Blindness/deafness

more training pics
1
2
3
4


also after speaking with Orion on one of his quest, he thinks that a dc of 30+  in perform check, is enough to emulate bellow, which is what I have been using with others to rp the effects while on training runs.

Logs:

[Hellblazer]

Dear Diary,

Me and Chiara finally spent a full day together, we went to walk in the forest, fished together and then visited one of her temples. But as good as the day was, it had to end and she had to leave again for temple duties. She also told me that she didn't think I would be accepted much if we manage to go undersea and visit her own community. It saddens me because she didn't want to talk about it more after saying that and it had made her rather uncomfortable too, all because I had told her that I might be able to borrow aunt Ferrit underwater breathing necklace. It's been a few week since the day we spent together, and still no Chiara. It gets very lonesome when she is not here. But I have other friends that I spend time with, and one in particular is getting to be a very close and good friend.

I continue to go training with G'ork and company, it's fun, dangerous, brins my emotions to build up every time and then I shout it just like Jharl told me. I understand better what he meant when he said to let it build up until it was so stong and overwhelming, that it would bring me to the brink of fear my self. When I get to that points that's when I let it all out and I can say that when it happens like it's suppose to, I can see it work.

I just wish Jharl hadn't disappeared on me. There is so much I would like to tell him and show him. But he has dropped off the face of Layonara, and I have to keep training on my own, feeling where it leads and pushing even more.

One one of those occasion, I got the opportunity to go help Ilsiandra, the priestess of Islare that is stationed in Hlint. She had her precious rig stolen by some bandits and she asked us to go and fetch it back for her. She wasn't happy and it showed, because she was not as nice and smiling as I had known her to be in the past. But we got it, not easily, they were better prepared that we thought, and much more in number that we had expected. The deed done we got back to her with the ring but also a note they had stolen from her too. Its a part of a poem that was split in 9 parts, because the author thought it was the best ever written and feared to break the spirit of other bards and authors.  I'm going to help her find the other ones.  What's more interesting even then, is what happened while getting the ring back.  Many times my shouts scared some of the bandits. It was very pleasing to see that I was getting results even there. I'll keep going forward until I can master it.

Well that's it my sweet journal, I have to go back to training now. You don't become a Skald by staying at home.









//ooc

She now has the equivalence of Song of exhaustion, with her bard spell Slow

The quest was "A girl's dream" Ran by Weeblie and Orion.

[Hellblazer]

Dear Diary,

I feel so alone right now. Every one is gone. My sisters, I have not seen in months, Elgon still missing, Ysaline I think is avoiding me, Chiara is still caught up with her temple duties, and Galathea has simply vanished it seems.
 
I miss every one, Chiara more than the others, Galathea just behind.. is it wrong to try and quantize how you miss someone more than an other? Maybe.. but that's how it is.

Of course, always being gone on trainings didn't help, but for the past two months, I have staid in Hempstead or at my place, and I have not received news of anyone.

It feels like when I was younger and that I was left almost by myself, when Dad took Ayana, Elgon and Elyam out in the forest.

Just so Alone.

[Hellblazer]

Well my dear diary,

With Chiara always so busy, and Galathea gone on a trip, Ayana always with that Drads, Elgon still no news; Sarah so busy with her Izzy, aunt Hanna pregnant and although I'm happy for her it still pinches for me and my sisters. Not to mention my trainings being in a stand still. I am thinking, I might as well move back home with my parents and spend some time with my little brother. Or maybe take a long trip somewhere, start anew.

Who knows I might find happiness there again.

[Hellblazer]

*Sitting by the water of the Stormcrest, Sil'via carefully places a bottle half filled with rocks and a rolled up parchment in its center. In it, a letter to her love, that she lets go to the whims of the currents. Hoping for it to reach her love, wherever she is. The parchment is sealed with a red wax seal, imprinted with a longbow and a heart. The paleness and fineness of the paper used is made more evident by the elegant, soft handwriting, each letters carefully scribed in elven, with its deep red ink.*


Chiara sa ceela,

E latyalw sa wilala nyelanastycilanelv anira layl ve weaml el eanla maw vceam, eelam anira nyilcs laail, anira lana, anymlelv omes il laeoan emillva vceam, ane il waaty tyeln.  E amilean ylanec anira seella ilma irevir el anira leviran lana oeccaw ameanir laanilmla, lairelelv el sa aniraem tymanyeeyla ceviranla, eo il laeoan tyilcalalala anirilan lairelala eelam anira oilemlalala eo sa eaml lanel.

E nyilllean nyeylan anira wilala anirilan tyillalaala fa sa illasema, amirama E we lean laaa aey, irailm aeym laeoan eleenya laelvelv, illw cilyvirelv. Amirama E nyilllean irecw aeym irillw ameanirel sela, illw oaac anira amilmsanir eo aeym laeyc nyeelamelv sela. Wilala anirilan vmeamla celvam, ameanir anira selanirla eo anira nyeselv layssam, laecaslca laatyilmilanaw fa ill elanamcywa ilamila omes aeym wyaneala.

Ceela, we nleam E ylwamlaanillw anirilan aniralaa wyaneala ilma estyemanillan ane aey, illw anirilan E ylwamlaanillw anirilan ean ela weooenyycan anesala. Ireamaelam, sa irailman celvla ane fa nycelaa ane aeymla, failanelv el miraanirs ameanir ailnyir eo aeym irailman failanla. Eo sa eleenya queelelv aeymla, ylwam anira seella ceenelv yty ilan anira laanilmla, cena anirilan leviran el Wilcillanirilm. E celv anira fcelalalala eo eym anesa anevaaniram, meilselv anira cillwla, oilnyelv ellaymseylanilfca willvamla, ane nyesa eyan elenyanemeeyla laewa fa laewa.

Ailnyir wila anirilan tyillalaala fa, lae laceamca, silnala sa irailman illw laeyc lanymails eyan oem aey. Ailnyir anesa anirilan sa aaala nycelaa, E laaa anira laeoanlalala eo aeym oilnya, nycelaa ane sela. Eo aeym waaty latyilmncelv fcay-vmaal aaala ceenelv elane sela, laceamca nycelaelv aniraslaacelala illa anira welaanillnya el faanamaal aeym laeoan cetyla nycelaala ameanir selala. Anirilan tyamoanyan sesalan, amirama aey maelailcaw ane sa aeym irailman, illw sela ane aey, irilylanla sa aelama laelvca wilala, sa aelama laelvca leviranla.

Ailnyir leviran, amirama E laean fa anira laail, laelvelv laeoanca oem aey, laelvla anirilan anyireala sa irailman elane anira wilmnlalala eo anira leviran, nyilmmeaw fa anira valanca fmaaja eelam anira welaanillnya. E tymila ane Eclailma, ane fmelv filnyn anira ela anirilan irilla laanecal sa irailman ilamila, laanecal ane anira waatylalala eo anira laail, amirama ean ela lailoa. E tymila anirilan aey maanyml ane sa, lailoaca, ameanir ilcc anira vmilnya illw nyirilmsla anirilan tyelalaalalaaw sa laelnya anira oemlaan wila ama latyalan ilcela anevaaniram. E tymila Lairelwilmaceil, ane naaty aey lailoa omes anira oeala anirilan ameycw anilna sa fmailanir eo ceoa, eo ceela, ilamila omes sa.

Sa ceela, we aey irailm el anira welaanillan leviran, anira celacelalala eo sa irailman, laeananelv fa anira lairemala eo anira laail? Ceenelv elane anira welaanillnya eo anira fcilnynlalala, anira seella illa elca nyestyilleella. Sa anailmla oaawelv anira laail ameanir aniraem lailcanelalala. Wmety fa wmety, sa irailman ilnyirelv oem aeym maanyml, oem anira lasacc eo sa ceela, ane oecc sa cylvla ameanir eanla selaanelalala eo anira waaty laail. Anira ylfailmilfca laallailaneel eo sa irailman faelv aneml ilamila omes sa, nymaelv oem ean'la irilco ane nyesa filnyn illw queel ean filnyn ilvilel, nyestycaanelv ean, lae aniraem saceweala nyill ilvilel oems ela.

E ils, sa ceela, fyan il laestyca filmw, anirilan celvla oem iram sylaa ane lairela filnyn elane anira elillaanlalala eo anira amemcw anirilan laymmeylwla iram. Il laestyca oeviranam anirilan oeviranla anira anemsalanla, ceenelv oem iram laanyelw fmailanir. E ils fyan aeymla, amileanelv oem anira ela anirilan oeccla iram irailman ameanir quea, iram cetyla ameanir vmilnyaoyc leanala, iram aaala ameanir anira tyillalaeel anirilan elca ceela nyill ilceviran illa il milvelv oema, nyellayselv iram alanemaca.

E ilamilean oem aey sa wilmcelv. Tyilanealanca, fa anira amilanam, amirama eym irailmanla mailnyiraw oem ailnyir eaniram'la, etyalca, oem anira oemlaan anesa.

Laec'eleil Laamelalail El'Wilmlayla.

~o~

Chiara my love,

I spend my days contemplating the sun go down in its red glow, over the calm sea, the sky, turning from a soft orange glow, to a deep pink.  I wait until the moons are high in the night sky filled with stars, shining on me their precious lights, of a soft paleness that shines over the fairness of my own skin.

I cannot count the days that passes by me anymore, where I do not see you, hear your soft voice singing, and laughing. Where I cannot hold your hand within mine, and feel the warmth of your soul covering mine. Days that grows longer, with the months of the coming summer, solemnly separated by an interlude away from your duties.

Love, do know I understand that these duties are important to you, and that I understand that it is difficult times. However, my heart longs to be close to yours, beating in rhythm with each of your heart beats. Of my voice joining yours, under the moons looking up at the stars, like that night in Dalanthar. I long the blisness of our time together, roaming the lands, facing insurmountable dangers, to come out victorious side by side.

Each day that passes by, so slowly, makes my heart and soul scream out for you. Each time that my eyes close, I see the softness of your face, close to mine. Of your deep sparkling bleu-green eyes looking into mine, slowly closing themselves as the distance in between your soft lips closes with mines. That perfect moment, where you revealed to me your heart, and mine to you, haunts my every single days, my every single nights.

Each night, where I sit by the sea, singing softly for you, songs that echoes my heart into the darkness of the night, carried by the gentle breeze over the distance. I pray to Ilsare, to bring back the one that has stolen my heart away, stolen to the deepness of the sea, where it is safe. I pray that you return to me, safely, with all the grace and charms that possessed me since the first day we spent alone together. I pray Shindarelia, to keep you safe from the foes that would take my breath of life, of love, away from me.

My love, do you hear in the distant night, the loneliness of my heart, sitting by the shores of the sea? Looking into the distance of the blackness, the moons as only companions. My tears feeding the sea with their saltiness. Drop by drop, my heart aching for your return, for the smell of my love, to fill my lungs with its mistiness of the deep sea. The unbearable sensation of my heart being torn away from me, crying for it's half to come back and join it back again, completing it, so their melodies can again form one.

I am, my love, but a simple bard, that longs for her muse to shine back into the vastness of the world that surrounds her. A simple fighter that fights the torments, looking for her second breath. I am but yours, waiting for the one that fills her heart with joy, her lips with graceful notes, her eyes with the passion that only love can alight as a raging fire, consuming her entirely.

I await for you my darling. Patiently, by the water, where our hearts reached for each other's, openly, for the first time.

Sil'via Serissa In'Darsus.

[Hellblazer]

My dead Diary, things are getting complicated again.

I had a great day with Gala. We talked, we laughed, we fought some deaders, then in Storan's, I decided to tease her a little bit and out of no where, she kissed me, twice. Some parts of me wanted it, and when she asked me to take her some place we could be ourselves, I did. But on the way to my house.. all I could think about was Chiara. It's been 11 months now that she said she wanted to give us a chance.. that she wasn't able to be away from me anymore. And in those 11 months, so seldom have I seen her. Always gone for temple duties with only short periods where she comes back. I'm not ready to give up, I don't want to give up. But love is like a garden, it needs to be fed, to be tended to. Not just sprinkled some life to be left bare for weeks again.

I know Gala is attacked to me, and I am starting to be too, but I have been feeling for Chiara for almost two years now.. I can't just shut that away from me. Gala knows it and she understands. Nothing more happened than those two kiss and nothing else will until it is definite that Chiara changed her mind.

Oh Chiara I wish you were back more often.. I can't bare not being there with you, I'm going crazy here in my mind.

And my poor aunt Ranewin... why can't I have a simple life? We believe that her mother showed up to me, Elgon and Ysaline, her dead mother. Talking but no one could hear her but me. Telling me, in my head, in elven, that someone like her would come and bring me despair. That I needed to protect what was dearest to our hearts. That Barion's daughter was in danger. Then she flew away.  Ysaline was really hurt to see that it didn't speak to her even though she could clearly feel the touch of Ilsare in her, and I didn't want to put her in any danger, which hurt her even more. But I've let her come, and together we found Abigail. She was indeed attacked by one like Ranewin's mother, except, Abi told us that the one that attacked her was Ran sister, who is also dead.

I had to warn her, to warn my aunt, and now she's confused and hurt. She can't believe it would be them... and to say the truth, if I had not seen it for myself.. I would have a hard time believing too.

I don't knwo what to do with all of that.. I just know I have to protect what is dearest to my heart.. Chiara, gala, Ysaline, Ran, my family..

[Hellblazer]

Why is it, diary, that every time something good seems to happen to me, it vanishes??