Andrew's Songbook

[RollinsCat]

Zari is teaching me elven songs for my collection.  This one she says is a lullabye her mother sang.

Filfa sela, wel'an aey nyma.
Filfa sela, wma aeym aaala.
Malaan aeym irailw nycelaa ane sa irailman,
laelam ane tyilman,
filfa eo sela.

Ceananca ela amiral aey tycila,
wel'an aey selw amirilan aniraa laila.
Caan anirelaa aaala latyilmnca illw lairela,
laelam il anailm,
filfa eo sela.

Eo aniraa nlaam laamaaan ceananca aey
aniraa'w alw yty ceelelv aey aname.
Ilcc eo anirelaa tyaetyca amire lanyecw aey
amirilan aniraa'w veela quylaan oem anira meviran ane irecw aey.

Omes aeym irailw weaml ane aeym aneala,
aey'ma lean synyir, veewlalala nleamla.
Fyan aey'ma lae tymanyeeyla ane sa,
laamaaan illa nyill fa,
filfa eo sela.

Eo aniraa nlaam laamaaan ceananca aey,
aniraa'w alw yty ceelelv aey anee.
Ilcc anirelaa lailsa tyaetyca amire lanyecw aey,
amirilan aniraa'w veela quylaan oem anira meviran ane irecw aey.

Omes aeym irailw weaml ane aeym aneala
aey'ma lean synyir, veewlalala nleamla.
Fyan aey'ma lae tymanyeeyla ane sa,
laamaaan illa nyill fa,
filfa eo sela.
Filfa eo sela

Baby mine, don't you cry.
Baby mine, dry your eyes.
Rest your head close to my heart,
Never to part,
Baby of mine.

Little one when you play,
Don't you mind what they say.
Let those eyes sparkle and shine,
Never a tear,
Baby of mine.

If they knew sweet little you
They'd end up loving you too
All of those people who scold you
What they'd give just for the right to hold you.

From your head down to your toes,
You're not much, goodness knows.
But you're so precious to me,
Sweet as can be,
Baby of mine.

If they knew sweet little you,
They'd end up loving you too.
All those same people who scold you,
What they'd give just for the right to hold you.

From your head down to your toes
You're not much, goodness knows.
But you're so precious to me,
Sweet as can be,
Baby of mine.
Baby of mine

[RollinsCat]

Zari wrote this herself.

Aeym aaala lairela cena anira ceviran eo anira layl
Aeym nelalaala aloecw sa illw cailela sa ylwela
E anilna aeym irillw irama, illw eym laam ceoa favyl
Eym wila amecc fa laeel amiral aey illw E ilma ela

Ela ceoa oemaelam
Ela ceoa anevaaniram
Aeym ceviran illw sa ceviran nyesfelaw

Ela irailman maqueenyelv
Ela laelv ela eleenyelv
Eym ceela leam oemaelam alanamelaw

E ceen ane aeym laseca ane maillalayma sa eo anesemmeam
E nleam anirilan aey ceela sa oem aanamleana
E nleam anirilan ane irecw aey amecc tyillala ilamila ilcc laemmeam
Illw cailela sa ameanir tyailnya illw laamaleana

Ela ceoa oemaelam
Ela ceoa anevaaniram
aeym ceviran illw sa ceviran nyesfelaw

Ela irailman maqueenyelv
Ela laelv ela eleenyelv
Eym ceela leam oemaelam alanamelaw

Translates to:

Your eyes shine like the light of the sun
Your kisses enfold me and leave me undone
I take your hand here, and our new life begun
Our day will be soon when you and I are one

One life forever
One life together
your light and my light combined

One heart rejoicing
One song is voicing
Our love now forever entwined

I look to your smile to reassure me of tomorrow
I know that you love me for eternity
I know that to hold you will pass away all sorrow
And leave me with peace and serenity

One life forever
One life together
your light and my light combined

One heart rejoicing
One song is voicing
Our love now forever entwined

[RollinsCat]

Alex and I playing to a beach sunrise after Jaelle left.

Xeenites.  Why did it have to be Xeenites?


Three ladies fair to rule me
Three ladies own my heart
Three ladies carve their names in me
Three ladies are my art

The first is one who shaped my mind
Warm in her embrace
From her I formed and met the world
From her I learned my place

The second holds my soul's desires
My secret whispered spaces
Inspiration freely shared
And any saving graces

The third is where my heart will go
A tempest midnight sky
Her melody inside my Song
Played from the cyclone's eye

Three ladies fair to rule me
Three ladies own my heart
Three ladies carve their names in me
These ladies are my art

[RollinsCat]

Night Sky's song after waking.


There is beauty in the tempest
There is madness in the storm
There is rapture in my chaos
As I watch the maelstrom form

There is music in the hurricane
I hear it as she sings
And wonder at the melody
And questions that it brings

Who can stand the suffering?
Who can stand the pain?
Who among the faithful
Can endure the freezing rain?

Who will bear the burdening?
Who will pay the price?
Who will walk the darkest road
And melt a heart of ice?

Knocking, pounding at the door
Who will let her in?
Who can hear the cries of pain
That howl amidst the din?

Banging, railing at the gate
Who will let her out?
Who can stand the siren wail
When she begins to shout?

Hold fast to the wreckage
And stare straight into the wave
That brings death and black destruction
And the things I should not crave

Thunder sound the battle charge
And lightning show my way
Lady Chaos guide me
As I charge into the fray

There is beauty in the suffering
There is magic in the storm
There is madness in my rapture
As I watch the maelstrom form

There is music in the howling winds
And chaos in my heart
I revel in the tempest's wrath
And gladly play my part

Wailing, crying in the wind
Who will hear her plea?
Who can find it in their heart
To set the siren free?

Tossing, turning in the night
I hear the banshee scream
But which dark path will come to pass,
The nightmare or the dream?

What disturbs my reverie?
What phantom haunts my sleep?
What sea witch boldly wears my face
And lurks within the deep?

What shall be the sacrifice?
What will be the cost
To tread the brink and make the link
And find the one who's lost?

I feel the pull upon my heart
of lifeblood given free
The undertow of drops that flow
Into a northern sea

I feel the pull upon my soul
I watch in reverie
With gnashing teeth, the clash beneath
Almoran's restless sea

[RollinsCat]

Preliminary song for Buddy from my research.  109 Hempstead.

Not high art but I think he'll like it.

Revisions after discussion with Symphony.


Pay the price to enter here
A city once deserving
No more laughter in these streets
The Brooding One we're serving

Sign right here, that's good, that's right
You're safe within our gaze
Watching, always watching you
An ear to every phrase

A law on who to worship
A law on how to speak
A law on how the law will work
A law to keep you weak

Under boot-heel of our lord
Your freedom sold for peace
Choice and action hung to dry
Like slaughtered golden geese

Bow your head at morn and night
Don't ask too many questions
Don't bring your gods both fair and just
Worship at our discretion

A law to keep out magic
A law to tax you dry
A law to strip your defenses
A law to keep you tied

Forgotten, now, who he once was?
General to a Bloodstone
Who tried to take the world by force
And carve his bloody throne?

A leopard doesn't change his spots
Nor dictator to a statesman
Keep this close to mind my friends
What came round can come again


Second.


Whisper down the wind
The shining jewel of Dregar
Living as an open scar
But no one says a word

Whisper down the wind
Law at such a handsome price
Ruled by a heart of ice
But no one says a word

Whisper down the wind
Ghosts of living everywhere
Shuffling cross the tidy square
But no one says a word

Whisper down the wind
Another public banishing
Another quiet vanishing
But no one says a word

All the trappings of a life but choice and self-decision
All the peace a man could want so long as you obey
The memory of the disappeared is met with indecision
Don't speak too loud don't draw their eye least you to go away

Whisper down the wind
Obedience and haunting fear
Fate decided for you here
But no one says a word...

[RollinsCat]

*letters placed inside, with some draft responses*

Andrew,

I didn't get a chance to talk to you before you met my sister. I am thrilled you seem to get along as you are both fabulous people. However, if I am right about you.. you both have your issues too.

If I may offer a bit of advice. My sister has had something happen in the past, to which I am not even sure what happened, but I do know that it left her terrified of people possessing her. Never think of her as a possession. Even if you date for months, give her time and help her through her problems, have fun, go out, date exclusively even.. but be very careful how you word things when it comes to claiming her and whatever you do... she is terrified of marriage.

You have been warned, try not to screw it up too bad.

Zira (*a heart drawn around her name*)



Andrew,

You have not been wrapped up in yourself, at times the life of an adventurer can get busy. As for paying attention to my sister, well you should. She deserves it. I would love to sit down and have a chat about our lives sometime, but Argos schedule is unpredictable. I will extend this invite to him, but do not know that our meeting would be anytime soon if we waited for him. Just let me know when suits you.

Zira *heart drawn around her name*



Andrew,

This letter may be a little unorganized, but as usual I'm working with my heart and saying what my heart feels and haven't stopped to put it in a specific order. I am writing this letter because I am concerned for you. You may think this is about Zari, but it really isn't. I don't want you with her and the reasons for that should be apparent by the end of this letter. With that said, I worry about your faith. From the interaction I have had with you, you don't appear to love yourself. If you don't at the very least love yourself, how could you love another? If you can't love another, where dos Ilsare stand in your life? Obviously not in the loved category. Additionally, you sleep with any female that passes in front of you. If your heart isn't available to yourself, then it isn't available others and that makes your actions about gratification of yourself and others and not about finding or expressing love. I will point out that sounds more Xeenite than Ilsarian.

You are a wonderful bard and I am sure Ilsare is pleased with that. However, you need to learn to love yourself so that your heart is available for others (including Ilsare) or you are not really the Ilsarian you claim to be. Ilsare is about pretty things and music and art and all of those wonderful things, but she is also in large part about love. I am worried about you my friend in faith. Sit down, evaluation yourself. Fix it or seek help to fix it. Help can always be found at the temple or the friends you haven't alienated yet.

You also need to evaluation anyone influencing your decisions right now and make sure they have your best interests and Ilsare's best interests at heart. If someone is reinforcing these negative behaviors of self destruction/loathing and lack of love, you need to cut them from your life.

Your music is supposed to be a reflection of your soul, but your soul is shaky right now.. You revile your soul. What is this doing to your music? You need to get back on track so you can be loved how Ilsare loves you.

I want to restate something from above, I do not want it to be misinterpreted that I think you need to limit yourself to only one person in the bedroom. If Ilsare blesses you with multiple lovers (and I use the term lovers intentionally), then that is wonderful to have more people to love and be loved by. I think you need to be emotionally available and able to fall in love and sleep with the people you choose to sleep with out of positive emotions as opposed to habit or lust. They call it making love for a reason. It is all the more special to share a bed when love is involved.

You once said to Argos something about finding a warm willing bed to sleep in. Does that sound Ilsarian to you or Xeenite? Not to mention MANNERS!, but that is another subject for another time. You say you love women, but you treat them as an object because you are unwilling to open your heart to anyone including yourself. I repeat.. Stop to evaluate your life and ask for help if needed. We are here. If I am not the person who makes you comfortable to talk, then there are lots of other Ilsarians around, find one. Work this out. Come back to someplace that Ilsare can love you and you her.

Alazira
Priestess of Ilsare



To:
Alzira
125 Leringard
Leringard
Mistone

Zira. I appreciate your concern. Much of what you say makes sense. However, I don't share your concern about my relationship with our Muse. In fact, events at the temple have led me to strongly think that I'm on the right track to something I pursue with all my heart.

If your offer of a confident is also that of friendship still, I accept. If not, I am saddened but I accept that as well, although I would not rule out Ilsare crossing our paths again.

I love myself Alzira. I just have trouble accepting certain parts of me, and that is something I work on daily with our Lady. And yes, I do come off as a Xeenite quite often and for good reason. You may ask your sister about that sometime and I give her permission to explain to you.

As for your concerns about us being together, I would gently remind you that it was something you supported, even encouraged. And, I would also point out, Zari made her wishes quite clear from the start and I adhered to them. What happened with her heart I cannot control any more than you can. But you, priestess of love, should know that Ilsare takes care of her own and your sister has found a peace with herself in all of this. You've seen it and so have I.

I will make one bid for your friendship, because you have been a lady worth knowing. I have never lied to you. I have never done anything, knowingly, to bring harm to your or yours. And I have not taken advantage of you or your family. If my personal demons are offensive enough that you no longer wish to know me, I will retreat without another word. All I ask is that you think on it and let me know.

Andrew



Andrew,

You took a letter that was wholey about you and turned it into a letter about myself and my family. What I said was in earnest concern for you.

As for my family, you are right... I did think you and my sister were good at the time and hold no ill will towards you for my sister. Heck, she still loves parts of you and I don't believe holds you ill will either. The letter had nothing to do with Zari other than timing and instead was meant to point out to you where I believe you should be searching your heart and searching your actions.

Try re-reading the letter with a heart meant to look at it yourself as opposed to shading it with extra meaning of my family.

Zira


Andrew,
I don't think you understood me very well. I'm still me. I'm still the same Zari that I was when I first met you. I still want the same things. The difference is, I realize that even though I do love you (and yes, I do) I don't think that YOU love you. I'm not going to do you or me any favors by hanging around and trying to convince you that the part of you that I see, the part that you showed me a couple times, actually exists. I am not pushing you away, nor am I angry with you. I'm not upset with you because you are incapable of loving me. If I was, I would be going against everything I believe in. I will never try to force you to love me, nor will I try to convince you that you should. I know you don't. I've always known that you don't.

Apparently Ilsare likes you because she gifted you with natural beauty and a song to make my knees weak. You act as if I am saying goodbye to you for forever, when really all I'm doing is giving you what you have said that you wanted. Space. You have someone or something else that occupies you and you do not need me to take up your time. And frankly, I've realized that I should not sit around waiting for your letters to arrive. When they do, I'm happy. I will read them. I will enjoy them. But my life cannot revolve around you anymore than it can revolve around someone that I did not love in the past. If I do that, then I am then doing to myself what those others wanted me to do for them. Again, still in the name of love. My heart is and will remain open for you, Andrew. But my life will not shut down to wait for your visits or your kind words or your soft kisses and gentle touch. I never wanted to become a slave to love. For too long I have been, whether it was because someone literally wanted me as a slave to their love or because I enslaved myself into a life of fear of love.

You told me that your greatest fear is yourself. Of the dark past that you have, and of the desires that you posess that continuously threaten to control or be the death of you. I can't tell you how to get over that, but you really need to. Just get over it. And when you can do that, then maybe you'll learn something. I don't know what your something will be, but it'll be for you. You say you have trouble playing your song. Your song is there. I've heard it. I've felt it. It's your Song I fell in love with. Not the one that you play, but the one you try to hide from yourself. I saw it. I saw the greatness in you that you are afraid to let out.

I told you I never meant to fall in love with you. I didn't. I can't say I don't know why I do love you because that would be a lie. I do know why I love you. But you don't. You have absolutely no idea why I love you. I'm not going to tell you either. Maybe someday you'll care enough to figure it out. But I realized that my deepest and greatest fear that I told you, you simply perpetuated that fear. I realized that the night of the storytelling. There I was, dressed to the nines, in the dress that you told me that made me even more attractive than if I had worn nothing at all. And you were so self-concerned that you couldn't even bring yourself to sit by me. It was then that I knew that love you or not, I'm simply a conquest to you. I'm simply a warm bed and a willing body. That's not love, Andrew. I may not be one who wants to settle down with just one person, but I do at least know that I want to be with people that bring me joy, and that I hope to bring joy and passion and light to their lives as well. Even if it's just once. Even if I will never see them again.

I'm not angry with you, and sure, we can be friends. But if you want to be friends with me, you will be friends with me. I will not simply be your friend. You'll have to prove to me you know how to be my friend. I know you can be my lover. I've seen it. I've done it. I've been there. I loved. You pleased. There's a difference. I hope someday that you learn the difference. It took me fifty years to learn that. I hope for your sake it doesn't take so long.

Love,
~Zarianna



Zari.  I don't love you because you said you didn't believe in it.  I don't love you because you are more than a little crazy, and not a good crazy.  I don't love you because you're vapid and vain.  Scratch the vain - I'm vain.  But you can only see the world only as a reflection of yourself, and then accuse me of the same?  I don't love you because you claim to hear in me what I have only ever heard once.  I think, when I can play my soul to music, I'll know before you do.  Seeing as how I'd be playing it.  And all.

Most of all I don't love you because my heart is filled with three others; my mother, who would not like you, my Muse, and the woman you hate.

Really, really better not send this.

[RollinsCat]

*tucked inside, folded carefully, the envelope attached to the inside of a page so it won't be lost*

Arioso

Stars and song I love that.  Arioso.

Arioso,

I have wondered long over whether or not I should pen this letter--I do not like to interfere or offer advice unsolicited, nor would I want you to think this letter in any way indicates doubt in your strength of self. I have no doubts, not in you. However, I have come to the conclusion it is better to have words you do not need than to have want of them, and me to have stayed my hand in hesitation.

I will not presume to know your heart or mind, but I wonder if you are nervous to immerse yourself once again into your past. Xeen's sharp and heady pleasures can certainly be just that--immersive--and it is easy to embrace that warm fog and linger there, indefinitely. (I am reminded as I write this of another warm fog that tempts one to linger--remind me, when you return, to tell you of Araus, bear lord of the northern isle, and his sanctuary, guarded by just such a mist. I think you will especially appreciate his companion, and will show you the epic I am working on when you return.) I know also that you have your own tumultuous history with Xeen and her followers, and if you were anxious about treading the same ground you found unsteady once, I would not call you a coward, but only a man possessing at least a modicum of common sense.

Let me say also this, though. It is more comfortable to imagine we have demons within us because it is a more heroic and romantic image, to see ourselves grappling with these dark monsters and shadows, fighting them and beating them down. Less romantic but truer, I think, is the admission that there are no such things, at least not within our own selves. Only hungers, wants, desires, obsessions, compulsions, addictions, all part of us and inseparable in the end--we repress these with the same fervor we would a demon, because these are the things that can overpower our will, which we cling to like shipwrecked sailors in a storm of passions. We dissociate, because it is painfully uncomfortable to stare these primal wants and needs in the face, knowing how society may abhor them, and say yes, yes, this is a part of me too. It is our nature to not like to stare too long into our own shadows. And yet at least for me, it is in the dark of night that most of my music and poetry is born.

It is your journey, love, and I will not presume to know its steps better than you. I will not tell you what dose of this medicine will cure your ills, only what effect it might have. It is for you to choose what is necessary, and what is desired. That said, if I have done my work right, one vial will be a spark of light in the darkness, the single candle in the lighthouse that the sailor must use to navigate the waters and guide himself home. Two vials is the autumn day where the fog lies thickly between you and your goal, but the pale sun cuts through the mist, and though you wander you shall not be lost. Three vials, well, if I have done my job rightly, and you have need enough of it, three vials shall be a shield, and mist and fog may only swirl at your feet, but leave your head perfectly clear. Or such is my intent, though I have had to guess a little on the dosage--it is hard to test such things on normal men, and then factor in also the extra handspan that leaves the crick in your neck when you bend your head too long to me in our embraces.

I worry for you, but I think it is a good worry, and one that comes from the desire to protect what is dear to us rather than the desire to protect that which is weak. I do not think you are weak, arioso. Even so--and know that I write this with a smile--I shall be put out if I have to come all the way to your fair island to tempt you away again with my siren song, so that you may explore the whole world and every corner of your heart with the days you have been given. (If gentle persuasion fails, I could always find your mother I suppose ...!) In all seriousness, though, love, you will be fine. And I say this with the confidence of a sailor who has spent many years navigating uncertain waters. I know the compass of your own heart is unfaltering, but if it is not too presumptuous to say, I hope you think also on the memory of our own nocturne, and as sailors have done for many years, trust the night sky will guide you home if you do indeed lose your way.

[RollinsCat]

*the letter is written on heavy ivory parchment with the heading "Reid Pottery - Potter's Lane - Huangjin, William and Margret, Proprietors"*

Leviran Lana

I have read your letter perhaps too many times for the parchment's own good. I understand what you say, though I hope you will forgive a singer of songs his romantic notions. Here I am smiling because it does come across more...heroic? somehow? to struggle against a demon than to admit you're an addict and really like to be high.

But you and I are of a mind when it comes to accepting it. That is something that my Lady and I have been discussing, lately. Strange, Alzira has been chastising me incessantly about my "Xeenish" tendencies. I wonder when Xeen and my Muse stopped being allies in her mind? In many ways they are mirror images of each other, with their fluid natures connecting them; one of needs, the other of wants, with the dividing line and definition up to each of us as to which is which. You knew when I said it, I'm sure, that it was never Xeenites I was afraid of, only my own willpower or lack thereof along this thin line.

It was this train of thought sparked by your letter, and a moment at the Breath of the Muse, and the loving reception of my family that is giving me strength right now. I will save my experience at my faith's most breathtaking collection for a day when we can sit together, but I will tell you this - it is good to be home. I was not intending to return for any length, but in my heart I knew I needed to. To return a painting I used in my story at storytelling night; to sit and talk with my mother and to give my father the rapier match he's been rather much anticipating (it was a draw, which gives me great satisfaction); and to see my brother, and his daughter Opal, who is now six years old of pure delight. She wishes to dance and sing, and has developed a little girl crush on me since yesterday which has of course wrapped me firmly around her finger. I have played for her on demand and sung her every song I know and she still wants more and yet my joy increases each time I provide.

My father is sending a package separately to you. When I arrived, my mother was finishing a glass goblet base and my father had shaped the cup. My mother works as well in glass as she does in clay; my father never had the skill for glass, although he has talents in clay that make men weep. I asked if they would allow me to purchase this one goblet for you, because I was struck by how perfect a representation...they would not take a True, of course, and were delighted that I wished something of theirs to send. My father will be sending it in my stead as I'll be at the temple or temples for as long as it takes. It is more than a representation of you; it is, to me, the perfect image of how my parents love, and how they fit together. So perhaps a little piece of the puzzle that is me? Or does that strike as too much ego?

Something from this visit: I have decided I must find Bella. She was always small for me, Alex fits me much better. But she is family and I think, part of the key to my Song. I learned on her (she fit much better when I was a child) and my Grandmother Rose would hold her under my chin and help me feel my way around the strings while Bella patiently sung a much nicer sound than my little fingers should have been able to produce. I miss her, but more, I want her safe in someone's loving hands. I wonder, do you think Aislin would like to learn?

Which brings me to now. I am preparing for a temple party, although my welcome was not as warm as I'd hoped - only Alex's deeply entertaining voice is getting me in. The ladies acknowledged my letter and gave me the homecoming any red-blooded man could ask for, but my abrupt leavetaking all those years ago and my long absence did not endear me to the head priestess. Hopefully I can establish my bona-fides once I am within Xeen's holy space. So, I have no information yet, but I will have at least an opportunity to get it.

I am nervous, of course. I have your preparations close at hand. Yet I will not try to reduce my experience, willpower or no. I believe, with my Goddess, my family, my friends (remind me to tell you of Annwyl Cadi), and my Night Sky to guide me home, I will come away from this stronger. Woozy, but stronger. And, Muse and Lady of the Seas willing, I will find out something that will be of use to you.

And I'd better. I got actual chills when you threatened to send my mother after me. She would do it, you know - march right into that temple and drag my out by my ear.

I hope that image leaves you laughing, Night Sky. I will write soon.


Andrew

[RollinsCat]

Andrew,
You made Zira the judge. Trust in her judgement. I wasn't the judge, and you wouldn't want to hear what I would've said anyways. Sometimes simple is better than long. Sometimes you should just take what you get and be satisfied with it. Next time if you want to judge, then judge.
And no, I don't think it had anything to do with Jaelle's donation or lack thereof. I'm sure she donated plenty. Zira simply chose the one she liked the best. At least I would assume so because that's the way Zira is. She's blunt and she's honest. You know this. You know her.

Love,
Zari


I seem to have touched a nerve.

[RollinsCat]

To:
Annwyl Cadi
Care of Calise
Temple to Ilsare
Hlint
Mistone

Milady Cadi, I hope this finds you well. Let's get the ugly out of the way: I managed the previous day's sobriety, but today in my travels to obtain more information I fell headfirst into a pipe. Not mine, a shared venture with another musician. I had no paper or place to write, or I would have.

That admission aside, I wanted your opinion and still do. Will you read this and give me an honest account? Yours will be the first eyes to view. I hope to use this in the future but I'm not sure if it's too long, or the ending trite. Ah, the paranoia of...whatever it was he shared with me. Not something I've used before. But the paranoia remains the same.

I'm rambling, and I apologize. Without ado:

Four Ladies met a summer's evening high atop the world
Seated round a slab of marble in chairs of vines tight curled
Moons and stars around them in a cosmic cotillion twirled
And from below the gentle breezes round their ankles swirled

The Lady first wore heartsong red in a clinging sheath
Lightning in a cloudy veil formed the second's wreath
The third enrobed in magic glow from toes to sparkling teeth
The forth was draped in purple gauze with nothing underneath

Upon the table onyx black a pack of cards was spread
From the others wolfish grins and "deal" was all they said
Three to each the table round dealt the Lady Red
And with a snap she flipped the top card over on its head

The Lady Magic set the stakes as she poured the wine
"Something from the each of us that makes us so divine"
The others thought a moment then nodded in a line
And drew from themselves something of their own godly design

The first condensed the feeling of a long adoring stare
The second molded lightning from the storm around her hair
The third an orb of magic haze from her mantle flair
The forth a trembling pleasure of the flesh so warm and bare

Lady Red gave Purple Drape a calm and measured eye
"No cheating this time" said she sotto voice, whispered to imply
"It's only cheating if you catch me" Purple purred in sultry deep reply
And winked across the table at her laughing Storm ally

"Bet" grinned the Lady left of Red and in the pot her stake
"See" the others said in turn and threw in their own take
A moment's pause while of the wine each Lady did partake
And round the table two more cards the full hand then to make

To win the pot one Lady need be first to take two rounds
Lady Magic stood pat on pairs and to her went first crown
Lady Storm saw four in row and then she doubled down
But second win was Purple Drape with staves in hand abound

Round the table against all odds each Lady won a turn
The next round dealt from Lady Storm was cause for their concern
Each hand picked up with eyes alight from an inner burn
To win the prizes heaped in the pot and from the others learn

Cards aloft the Ladies' gazes went around the table
Each looking for advantage in whatever she was able
A twitch, a blink, a quiver, a gesture slight unstable
To let them know the other had a bluff that they could label

Never on the earth or stars was game more cutthroat played
The cards slapped round the table in a percussive parade
Were Black Hound in the deal he'd have found himself afraid
At the dagger-sharp attention to the game these Ladies paid

Lady Magic held her cards and then declined to draw
Amusement flickered cross her face and then a look of awe
And with a tiny, tiny twitching of her magic-glowing jaw
She laid the hand down flat upon the table's inky maw

Lady Purple took a sip of wine and drew another card
Crossing her legs slowly, leaning back and smiling hard
Her hooded gaze the others turned quickly to regard
And her cards she held tightly with her fingers spread to guard

Lady Red discarded two and drew from the table's pack
Then she sat up leisurely, arching out her back
Upon the marble table top her cards hit with a smack
And piled with slender fingers into neatly waiting stack

Lady Storm sat waiting with her face a tempest scowl
Drumming fingers sounding like a summer thunder's growl
Passing on the draw as her eyes went upon the prowl
As on the table her cards were spread and then she gave a howl

Clubs she had and five all told were taunting their position
Lady Magic threw in her hand and with it her submission
Purple Drape with a mighty grin laid down her ammunition
Three and two of bells had she and Storm's eyes blazed in recognition

Lady Red then arched a smile and flipped cards one by one
Ace-King-Queen-Jack-ten of hearts and the others came undone
"Cheater!" cried the other three when it was clear that she had won
With a flippant grin she raked in the stakes and said "Can't prove it done".


Yours in the Muse


Andrew




Andrew Reid,
c/o The Tower Academy,
Port Hempstead, Brelin Kingdom

Sweet Andrew,

I am heartsick that your travels have bought you, once again, into harms way, viz your old problems. Part of me is impelled to deride you for slipping back and part of me aches, all too well, with understanding.

I know, dear friend, what it is to be slaved to one's fears and suspect that your descent back into old habits has more to do with a deep doubting of yourself than with current circumstance. Each of us has doubts and fears but, through our Faith and the good offices of those close to us, we can indeed surmount them.

You asked before about how I came to be who I am today. For now, I will say only this: I spent a whole, young life afraid of where my heart might lead me. And yet, through the benelvolent hand of our Lady of Dreams, I was saved from myself.

Our Lady Muse has blessed you, Andrew; you have a wonderful way with words and music. If nothing else, please have faith in those talents. Despite what you may think now, She guides all of us,

~ Annwyl

P.S. I loved your verse, and no, I do not think it too long nor the ending trite. The images (and metaphors) of our Lady, Mist, Lucinda, and Xeen gambling at stakes are captivating. We will speak more, when next we meet. ~ A.

P.P.S. Please know that Cadi is not my surname; I have none. One day, I shall explain. ~ A.



It's the way that you force to look in a mirror
It's the way that you touch me to know that you're here
It's the way that you tell me what I need to hear
And it hurts but the truth always does

I'm always looking for one good excuse
And I'm always a good one for cooking my goose
And I know that quite often I'm really no use
And it hurts but the truth always does

But standing beside you in thick and in thin
Watching you dance to my deep violin
Its love, but not love that this heart can win
And it hurts but the truth always does

[RollinsCat]

Gypsy Belle's song, in common and halfling.  Remember to play the end as fast as possible.  Get mandolin?

One night when the mists came down,
A fiddler lost his way...
And as the twilight held the wood,
He began to play, to play, he began to play...

Who should appear around him,
But the queen and her fairy court?
She and her riders gathered 'round,
And laughed at all the sport, the sport, they laughed at all the sport...

Queen Morningdew bid him play a tune,
While they wildly rode through the wood...
Oh, and don't you know Billy,
You'd better make it good it good, you'd better make it good...

He put his bow to fiddle,
With a bow to nobility...
His strings fair burned apace,
And they danced to it with glee with glee, they danced to it with glee...

Oh listen to your mother son,
Don't give her cause to grieve,
For if you seek the fairy wine,
Your life will end this eve, this eve, your life will end this eve...

One boon would the queen grant him,
In gratitude for his song...
But Billy only wished one thing,
He wanted to come along, along, once let him come along...

"Take me with you, fairy queen,"
Pleaded Billy the fiddler lad...
"Such wonders I have never seen,
"It will fair drive me mad, me mad, it will fair drive me mad..."

They galloped through the fading mists,
That melted with the sun,
Rode home to stars and play the on-
-ly rule to have your fun, your fun, harm none and have your fun...

The pixies tugged at his hair,
The naiads sang a sweet refrain,
The queen held wine from her own hand,
But he knew he must abstain, abstain, he knew he must abstain...

He'd listened to his mother well,
wouldn't give her cause to grieve
For if he drank the fairy wine
He could never leave, nay leave, he could never leave

But so lovely was the ruler,
So enticing the sound of lutes,
He thought there would no harm be found,
In tasting of the fruits, the fruits, in tasting of the fruits...

The whole realm paused as he took a taste,
And the queen laughed in delight!
He ate and felt compelled to dance,
He danced all through the night, the night, he danced all through the night...

Yet twilight is unending,
In the chaotic fairy realm...
Fast or slow time cannot decide,
And the years they ne'er o'erwhelm, o'erwhelm, the years never o'erwhelm...

He became the queen's consort,
And she taught the auld fey's tongue;
He danced centuries away,
And remained ever young, so young, he stayed ever young

Should've listened to your mother son,
Not given her cause to grieve
For now you've tasted twilight fruit,
And you shall never leave, nay leave, you shall never leave...

Should've listened to your mother son,
not given her cause to grieve
For now you've tasted twilight fruit
And you shall never leave, nay leave, you shall never leave...

And you shall never leave, nay leave, you shall never leave...

You shall never leave...



Yri ruknd znir dni lumdm seli tyzr,
E wuttcih cymd num zea...
Ert em dni dzucuknd nict dni zyyt,
Ni piker dy bcea, dy bcea, ni piker dy bcea...

Zny mnyoct ebbieh ehyort nul,
Pod dni xoiir ert nih weuha syohd?
Mni ert nih hutihm kednihit 'hyort,
Ert ceoknit ed ecc dni mbyhd, dni mbyhd, dnia ceoknit ed ecc dni mbyhd...

Xoiir Lyhrurktiz put nul bcea e dori,
Znuci dnia zuctca hyti dnhyokn dni zyyt...
Yn, ert tyr'd ayo gryz Pucca,
Ayo't piddih legi ud kyyt ud kyyt, ayo't piddih legi ud kyyt...

Ni bod num pyz dy wuttci,
Zudn e pyz dy rypucuda...
Num mdhurkm weuh pohrit ebesi,
Ert dnia tersit dy ud zudn kcii zudn kcii, dnia tersit dy ud zudn kcii...

Yn cumdir dy ayoh lydnih myr,
Tyr'd kufi nih seomi dy khuifi,
Wyh uw ayo miig dni weuha zuri,
Ayoh cuwi zucc irt dnum ifi, dnum ifi, ayoh cuwi zucc irt dnum ifi...

Yri pyyr zyoct dni xoiir kherd nul,
Ur khedudoti wyh num myrk...
Pod Pucca yrca zumnit yri dnurk,
Ni zerdit dy syli ecyrk, ecyrk, yrsi cid nul syli ecyrk...

"Degi li zudn ayo, weuha xoiir,"
Bcietit Pucca dni wuttcih cet...
"Mosn zyrtihm U nefi rifih miir,
"Ud zucc weuh thufi li let, li let, ud zucc weuh thufi li let..."

Dnia keccybit dnhyokn dni weturk lumdm,
Dned licdit zudn dni mor,
Hyti nyli dy mdehm ert bcea dni yr-
-ca hoci dy nefi ayoh wor, ayoh wor, nehl ryri ert nefi ayoh wor...

Dni buquim dokkit ed num neuh,
Dni reuetm merk e mziid hiwheur,
Dni xoiir nict zuri whyl nih yzr nert,
Pod ni griz ni lomd epmdeur, epmdeur, ni griz ni lomd epmdeur...

Ni't cumdirit dy num lydnih zicc,
zyoctr'd kufi nih seomi dy khuifi
Wyh uw ni therg dni weuha zuri
Ni syoct rifih ciefi, rea ciefi, ni syoct rifih ciefi

Pod my cyfica zem dni hocih,
My irdusurk dni myort yw codim,
Ni dnyoknd dnihi zyoct ry nehl pi wyort,
Ur demdurk yw dni whoudm, dni whoudm, ur demdurk yw dni whoudm...

Dni znyci hiecl beomit em ni dyyg e demdi,
Ert dni xoiir ceoknit ur ticuknd!
Ni edi ert wicd sylbiccit dy tersi,
Ni tersit ecc dnhyokn dni ruknd, dni ruknd, ni tersit ecc dnhyokn dni ruknd...

Aid dzucuknd um orirturk,
Ur dni sneydus weuha hiecl...
Wemd yh mcyz duli serryd tisuti,
Ert dni aiehm dnia ri'ih y'ihznicl, y'ihznicl, dni aiehm rifih y'ihznicl...

Ni piseli dni xoiir'm syrmyhd,
Ert mni deoknd dni eoct wia'm dyrkoi;
Ni tersit sirdohuim ezea,
Ert hileurit ifih ayork, my ayork, ni mdeait ifih ayork

Mnyoct'fi cumdirit dy ayoh lydnih myr,
Ryd kufir nih seomi dy khuifi
Wyh ryz ayo'fi demdit dzucuknd whoud,
Ert ayo mnecc rifih ciefi, rea ciefi, ayo mnecc rifih ciefi...

Mnyoct'fi cumdirit dy ayoh lydnih myr,
ryd kufir nih seomi dy khuifi
Wyh ryz ayo'fi demdit dzucuknd whoud
Ert ayo mnecc rifih ciefi, rea ciefi, ayo mnecc rifih ciefi...

Ert ayo mnecc rifih ciefi, rea ciefi, ayo mnecc rifih ciefi...

Ayo mnecc rifih ciefi...

[RollinsCat]

To:
Jaelle
Care of Tower Academy
Port Hempstead Municipal District
Port Hempstead
Kingdom of Brelin
Mistone

Ceela.  Leviran Lana.


What I didn't want to know you put in front of me
Places that I feared to tread you put under my feet
Pain and rapture, salt and blood and blazing body heat

The notes I feared to make my Song complete

I'll keep your secrets
I understand
You're wrapped around your fear but take my hand
I know the shame of wanting more and wondering who you really are...
I'll keep your secrets, I understand

A touch across the barriers of hair and flesh and bone
You stand inside my naked needs, already at home
Leaving me no place to hide from what I've always known

The pain that keeps us standing on our own

I'll keep your secrets
I understand
We're way beyond what either of us planned
That nameless thirst that drives us on, far past our comfort zone...
I'll keep your secrets, I understand

Our difference is capacity, absorbing the surreal
Dissolving edges in until you don't know what is real
Sensation far beyond the flip of pain and pleasure's seal

The burning need to push ourselves to feel

I'll keep your secrets
I understand
I will be there by your side at your command

When life is drowning you
Waves are pounding you
And no one gives you a d*mn

I'll keep your secrets, I understand


Still shaking after last night.


Arioso

*A musical score is included.  It is written for two stringed instruments, and as she reads it she will recognize elements of her Song as well as some of his*

[RollinsCat]

Something I wrote to play on Belle, work in progress.  


Dawn warms the dusty air and I'm awake again
Staring at the timber ceiling beams
And my body's here, in this quiet room
And my mind's tangled in your dreams

Leviran Lana, what have you done to me
I'm shattered by this need
Guilty of addiction to you and I don't know how to plead

I pace and sing and play my guitar
Trying to shake you off
But there's nothing that I would not give now
To feel your mind's sweet touch

Leviran Lana, what have you done to me
I'm shattered by this need
Guilty of addiction to you and I don't know how to plead



Muse, Heartsong, help me, this is love way beyond what I know it to be.

[RollinsCat]

Muse, I hope he wasn't kidding about the bodyguard.

Folks round Rael say crime’s too high
What’s the reason, you ask 'em why
Magic and religion, they reply
And we need a new way of livin’

Got a problem with Tor-an-ites
Got a problem with Xeen-e-ites
Got a problem with Lu-cin-dites
And we want a new way of livin’

So it’s alright, yeah it’s alright
Alright to give up being free
Who needs decisions anyway?
Go on, tell me what to say!
I’ll let that dwarf own me!

But who you going to blame for all those ills?
Them wizards with their magic skills?
The cleric with his prayer of wills?
Do you need a new way of livin’?

Got a problem with speaking out
Don’t know what magic is about
It’s easier, then, to live without
And lay down for this new way of livin’

So it’s alright, yeah it’s alright
Say it’s alright to keep my mouth shut
Who needs choice anyway?
I don’t got time to think today!
I’ll let the dwarf do it for me!

[RollinsCat]

Stars and song, Muse.  Point taken.  But how to get to Dregar now?

Maybe Night Sky can teach me some illusion...


Here's a little song about a bard named Willie
Worked round south Dregar, pretending he was me
(I hear he can't sing as well, you know?)
Took a job in town and went to see what he could see
Got stopped by Prantz guards and frisked from head to knee

How secure's a government when little songs get banned there
How safe's a land where a man can't speak his mind
How can you trust bureaucracy that censors every word there
Deciding what to tell you, and when to keep you blind

Well, the guards went through his every tiny little thing
Looking for my name in that brutish waypoint sting
He asked if he could get to his paid bardic fling
And found out that in Prantz a man must register to sing!

How secure's a government when little songs get banned there
How safe's a land where a man can't speak his mind
How can you trust bureaucracy that censors every word there
Deciding what to tell you, and when to keep you blind

That bard performed this story in a bar that we both frequent
I had to laugh, it was the best story I'd ever heard him tell
But thinking bout it later it isn't really funny
They'll arrest you for making music, and stick you in a cell

How secure's a government when little songs get banned there
How safe's a land where a man can't speak his mind
How can you trust bureaucracy that censors every word there
Deciding what to tell you, and when to keep you bliiiiiind...

[RollinsCat]

Modified.  The Fable Song (Bigger Fish).

A fox came to town one day, looking for a job there
He went straight to the chicken pen and handed them his card
"I'm strong and quick and have big teeth, the better to defend you!"
And the chickens, they were lazy, and they made him their guard

A bullfrog hopped by and saw the situation
He looked at the chickens and said "Are you guys nuts?"
"Foxes eat chickens, in case you have forgotten"
But the chickens didn't want to care and sat upon their butts

So what do you think happened?

No more chickens in the coup, my friend
No more chickens in the coup
It's no great mystery, they forgot their history -
No more chickens in the coup

The fox he left a grinning, picking feathers from his teeth
Strutted to the river to cross the other side
A scorpion was waiting cause the current it was strong here
And stopped the fox and said politely "May I get a ride?"

The fox he resisted, he remembered the old stories
But the scorpion was persistent, and promised to behave
So the fox let the scorpion up on to his back then
And jumped into the river, to swim across the waves

So, what do you think happened?

One dead fox in the river, my friend
One dead fox in the stream
He believed a heartfelt lie and took the insect for a ride
One dead fox in the stream

You don't give a scorpion a ride across a river
You don't let a fox stand guard upon your hens
You're better off running your own personal affairs here
And you'd better think carefully when picking your new friends

[RollinsCat]

Played something on piano tonight I have not sung in so very long.  I think I wrote this when I nine or ten...


Pigs in the field and chickens in the coup
Mama in the kitchen, cooking up the soup
Father in the barn carving wood into a hoop
And brother's in the hay

Me on my fiddle, hiding from my chores
Don't want to sweep the floors
I hate to mend the doors
Me on my fiddle, hiding from my chores, making music all the day

Mama's at the wheel working on a pot
Father's lugging clay back and forth a lot
Brother's at the kiln, getting the coals hot
While I sit and sway

Me on my fiddle, hiding from the clay
I hate to work that way
I'd rather sit and play
Me on my fiddle, hiding from the clay, making music all the day

[RollinsCat]

For the people of Prantz.

How long has it been since the city fell quiet
How long has it been since you had a voice
How long has it been that your fears walked beside you
Whispering you have no choice

Far too long
That's a fact
Far too long to be cowed
Far too long now you've waited and wondered
Your hopes and dreams wrecked and plundered
But we have not forgotten you

Outside your walls his influence stains
But you have the power to keep it contained
There are people around you who want to break free now
There are people whose hope has remained

Take a look
A look around
You're still in charge
It's a simple matter of perspective
You have the power of collective
And we have not forgotten you

Planning and passion are heading to you
But you have keep up your end too
Don't give up, don't break inside, don't lose your pride
Together we'll see this through

So bide your time
Take a breath
And know this is true
We have not forgotten you
We have -not- forgotten you...

[RollinsCat]

Updating for Caerwyn - remove scorpion.

Two versions?

A fox came to Lor one day, looking for a job there
He went straight to the chicken pen and handed them his card
"I'm strong and quick and have big teeth, the better to defend you!"
And the chickens, they were lazy, and they made him their guard

Sixteen chickens in the coup, my friend
Sixteen chickens in the coup
They took him at his word and made him constable of the herd
Sixteen chickens in the coup

A bullfrog hopped by and saw the situation
He looked at the chickens and said "Are you guys nuts?"
"Foxes eat chickens, in case you have forgotten"
But the chickens didn't want to care and sat upon their butts

Ten chickens in the coup, my friend
Ten chickens in the coup
Where did the others go – do we really want to know?
Ten chickens in the coup

The fox he was efficient and serious at his work
And the chickens were quite safe in their cozy little coup
But the coup kept getting bigger and the chickens started counting
And realized that they were down to just a couple few

So, what do you think happened?

No more chickens in the coup, my friend
No more chickens in the coup
It's no great mystery, they forgot their history -
No more chickens in the coup

The message here is a simple one and easy to divine
Don't let foxes guard your hens unless you want them to dine
You're better off fully in charge of all your kith and kine
And keep your city true to your own unique design

[RollinsCat]

*writing is hasty, the italic script cramped and slanting*

For Elohanna, written as I sit listening to the warmth and conversation that builds the new foundation of the Leringard Arms.


The willow speaks
And I ignore
Your eyes are fixed far past the shore
And I can’t bear what is in store
While wind the willow sings

We had our summer
Had our fall
And here we are in winter’s thrall
You can no longer hear my call
While the willow sings

You said you would not leave me while the spring had leaves upon the tree While summer sun warmed our hearts together

You said we’d be as one as long as we had home and hearth belong
And now I stand alone in this cold weather...

With you in arms
We walk the beach
Tears are freezing on my cheeks
Knowing you are far from reach
While the willow sings

I ask the willow leave me be and set you near the snow-capped tree and with aching breath I set you free...and still the willow sings....