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Author Topic: 2006 Darwin Awards  (Read 433 times)

Tobias

2006 Darwin Awards
« on: February 09, 2006, 08:23:18 am »
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  >
  > Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the Darwin Awards
  >are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
  >
  > Here is the glorious Winner:
  >
  > 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended
  > victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber
  > James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered
  > down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
  >
  >
  > And now, the Honorable Mentions:
  >
  > 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a
  > meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company.
  > The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a
  > look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.
  > The chef's claim was approved.
  >
  > 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
  > during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a
  > woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
  >
  > 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
  > driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
  > transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
  > admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and
  > offered everyone waiting there a free ride.
  > He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the
  > staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
  > fantasies The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
  >
  > 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
  >head wounds received from an
  > oncoming train. When asked how he received the
  > injuries, the lad told police that he was simply
  > trying to see how close he could get his head to a
  > moving train before he was hit.
  >
  > 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20
  > bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the
  >cash drawer, the man pulled a gun
  > and asked for all the cash in the register, which
  > the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash
  > from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the
  > counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
  > drawer: $15. (If someone points a gun at you and
  > gives you money, is a crime committed?)
  >
  > 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty
  > badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock
  > through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
  > run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over
  > his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the
  >would-be thief on the head, knocking him
  > unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
  > Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
  >
  > 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
  > grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
  > woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
  > Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher.
  > They put him in the car and drove back to the store.
  > The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for
  > a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's
  > the lady I stole the purse from."
  >
  > 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
  > Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
  > demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
  > open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered
  > onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The
  > man, frustrated, walked away.
  >
  > ******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
  >
  > 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
  > on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
  > arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a
  > motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
  > admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into
  > the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
  > declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd
  > ever had.
  > In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your
  > friends and family .. unless of course one of these 10 individuals by
  > chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case be
  > glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.
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Rasterick

Re: 2006 Darwin Awards
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2006, 08:31:37 am »
I love these; they never cease to make me laugh.

It is amazing that the human race has survived as long as it has, with these people contributing to the gene pool.
 

Niles09

Re: 2006 Darwin Awards
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2006, 11:49:24 am »
Hah hah that is just incredibly. The number 2 is the best, that is just too far out.
Though number tree is not the most funny thing a psyko maniac killing another...
 

miltonyorkcastle

Re: 2006 Darwin Awards
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2006, 01:13:26 pm »
*grins and snickers*
 

Deacon

Re: 2006 Darwin Awards
« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2006, 08:43:42 pm »
Number 10 is the best.
 

D Blaze

Re: 2006 Darwin Awards
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2006, 09:25:04 pm »
*laughs* That guy in number four isn't a fool, that was pure genius.
The only reason he was labelled as stupid was because he didn't quit his job immediately and move to another country.

That's a high degree of ingenuity with a lack of morality when it came to saving his own backside.
 

Jilseponie Wyndon

Re: 2006 Darwin Awards
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2006, 06:54:58 am »
*wipes away tears from her eyes laughing*
 

Ne'er

Re: 2006 Darwin Awards
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2006, 07:15:15 am »
These are awesome. I know I've heard some of them before, but still. This is great.
 

Skuzbom

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    RE: 2006 Darwin Awards
    « Reply #8 on: February 16, 2006, 09:31:37 am »
    Oh man those are great I have heard some before but the cynderblock to the window is the best.. wish I could have seen the video of it. :D  :D  :D  :D
     

    crazedgoblin

    RE: 2006 Darwin Awards
    « Reply #9 on: February 26, 2006, 10:14:00 am »
    hahaha these are brilliant i like number 7
     

    NEXUS7

    RE: 2006 Darwin Awards
    « Reply #10 on: February 28, 2006, 05:18:54 am »
    There seem to be a lot of entrys from the USA this year?

    There was a UK Bank robber who held up a bank and (on Vidow) spent 10 min trying to push the door open to get out, all the time waving a gun and say that the clarks had to swich off the Door lock. It was only when the police came and opend the door with a push from the out side that he found out his mistake.

    HAHA
    Thick as 2 planks or what
     

     

    anything