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The Layonara Community => Just for Fun => Topic started by: Tobias on February 09, 2006, 08:23:18 am

Title: 2006 Darwin Awards
Post by: Tobias on February 09, 2006, 08:23:18 am
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  >
  > Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the Darwin Awards
  >are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
  >
  > Here is the glorious Winner:
  >
  > 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended
  > victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber
  > James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered
  > down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
  >
  >
  > And now, the Honorable Mentions:
  >
  > 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a
  > meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company.
  > The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a
  > look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.
  > The chef's claim was approved.
  >
  > 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
  > during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a
  > woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
  >
  > 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
  > driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
  > transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
  > admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and
  > offered everyone waiting there a free ride.
  > He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the
  > staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
  > fantasies The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
  >
  > 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
  >head wounds received from an
  > oncoming train. When asked how he received the
  > injuries, the lad told police that he was simply
  > trying to see how close he could get his head to a
  > moving train before he was hit.
  >
  > 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20
  > bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the
  >cash drawer, the man pulled a gun
  > and asked for all the cash in the register, which
  > the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash
  > from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the
  > counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
  > drawer: $15. (If someone points a gun at you and
  > gives you money, is a crime committed?)
  >
  > 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty
  > badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock
  > through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
  > run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over
  > his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the
  >would-be thief on the head, knocking him
  > unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
  > Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
  >
  > 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
  > grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
  > woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
  > Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher.
  > They put him in the car and drove back to the store.
  > The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for
  > a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's
  > the lady I stole the purse from."
  >
  > 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
  > Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
  > demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
  > open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered
  > onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The
  > man, frustrated, walked away.
  >
  > ******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
  >
  > 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
  > on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
  > arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a
  > motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
  > admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into
  > the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
  > declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd
  > ever had.
  > In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your
  > friends and family .. unless of course one of these 10 individuals by
  > chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case be
  > glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.
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Title: Re: 2006 Darwin Awards
Post by: Rasterick on February 09, 2006, 08:31:37 am
I love these; they never cease to make me laugh.

It is amazing that the human race has survived as long as it has, with these people contributing to the gene pool.
Title: Re: 2006 Darwin Awards
Post by: Niles09 on February 09, 2006, 11:49:24 am
Hah hah that is just incredibly. The number 2 is the best, that is just too far out.
Though number tree is not the most funny thing a psyko maniac killing another...
Title: Re: 2006 Darwin Awards
Post by: miltonyorkcastle on February 09, 2006, 01:13:26 pm
*grins and snickers*
Title: Re: 2006 Darwin Awards
Post by: Deacon on February 11, 2006, 08:43:42 pm
Number 10 is the best.
Title: Re: 2006 Darwin Awards
Post by: D Blaze on February 11, 2006, 09:25:04 pm
*laughs* That guy in number four isn't a fool, that was pure genius.
The only reason he was labelled as stupid was because he didn't quit his job immediately and move to another country.

That's a high degree of ingenuity with a lack of morality when it came to saving his own backside.
Title: Re: 2006 Darwin Awards
Post by: Jilseponie Wyndon on February 12, 2006, 06:54:58 am
*wipes away tears from her eyes laughing*
Title: Re: 2006 Darwin Awards
Post by: Ne'er on February 12, 2006, 07:15:15 am
These are awesome. I know I've heard some of them before, but still. This is great.
Title: RE: 2006 Darwin Awards
Post by: Skuzbom on February 16, 2006, 09:31:37 am
Oh man those are great I have heard some before but the cynderblock to the window is the best.. wish I could have seen the video of it. :D  :D  :D  :D
Title: RE: 2006 Darwin Awards
Post by: crazedgoblin on February 26, 2006, 10:14:00 am
hahaha these are brilliant i like number 7
Title: RE: 2006 Darwin Awards
Post by: NEXUS7 on February 28, 2006, 05:18:54 am
There seem to be a lot of entrys from the USA this year?

There was a UK Bank robber who held up a bank and (on Vidow) spent 10 min trying to push the door open to get out, all the time waving a gun and say that the clarks had to swich off the Door lock. It was only when the police came and opend the door with a push from the out side that he found out his mistake.

HAHA
Thick as 2 planks or what