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Author Topic: Parental Quote of the Day  (Read 7877 times)

Carillon

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #20 on: June 14, 2010, 08:31:29 pm »
From last week, as I contemplated my options for an emergency bathroom pullover on a highway:

"Well, there are two reasons you can't unbuckle your seat and pee out the window ... one, we're moving right now and it's against the law to unbuckle while we're moving, and two, we don't pee out of car windows."

*pause as she listens to the next question*

"Yes, peeing out of the car window is against the law too."
 

ShiffDrgnhrt

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #21 on: June 14, 2010, 11:24:25 pm »
Quote from: Alatriel
"why?"

"because I said so."

"but why?"

"because."

"why?"

PLEASE!  For my SANITY!  Stop asking me why!

"why?"

The Why-Cycle of Doom!
 

Alatriel

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #22 on: June 22, 2010, 10:17:20 am »
Seriously guys, could you please put tires on your cars before you drive them on my table?
 

Honora

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #23 on: June 23, 2010, 03:49:05 pm »
"Please take Puppy out of the freezer. The ice cream does not need a guard." (Stuffed animal, don't call the ASPCA on me).
 
 "WHY ARE YOU NAKED?  COME INSIDE RIGHT NOW!"  (This weekend, that one).
 
 (A discussion my husband found himself in the other day)
 
 Husband: "I think I'll have fish for dinner."
 
 Son: "I don't like fish. Fish is yucky."
 
 Husband: "But you just ate fish sticks."
 
 Son: "But I LIKE fish sticks."
 
Husband:  "But you can't like fish sticks, you don't like fish."
 
 Son: "Fish is yucky."
 
 Husband: "Then you don't like fish sticks."
 
Son: "Yes I do."
 
 Husband: "But you don't like fish!"
 
 Son: "But I like fish sticks."
 
 Husband: "Fish sticks are made of fish."
 
 Son: "No they're not! Fish is yucky!"
 
 ...Rinse, repeat, for twenty minutes. I ended up throwing them both out of the den.
 

gilshem ironstone

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #24 on: June 24, 2010, 01:06:50 am »
I just want to point out a recurring theme:

Mother's bear witness to the beauty of innocence and the folly of husbands on a regular basis.
 

Honora

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #25 on: June 24, 2010, 08:56:58 am »
...which is the basic theme of every family sitcom in existance, almost.  I'd say there's a reason for that.  
 
 :)
 

Warchild214

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #26 on: June 24, 2010, 09:12:51 am »
*struggles to hear what his daughter is saying to him over the way to loud Hanna Montana CD playing in the background, and finally understands her question to him*

*replies back*

"No sweetie, we cannot turn Daddy's apartment into a Dance studio"
 

Polak76

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #27 on: June 25, 2010, 01:38:50 am »
Bed time for me is a nightmare.  My son will pull out every trick in the book to avoid the 8.30pm embargo.

He's three years old son loves negotiating (like me i guess).
He offered me the best deal last night.

SON: "dad, If you put on THomas the Tank Engine (DVD) in the morning I'll go to bed right now."

DAD: Deal!
 

Pseudonym

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #28 on: June 25, 2010, 02:37:24 am »
Pseudo's 4 yr old daughter - "I love you infinity and nine!"

Pseudo - "That's beautiful sweetheart."

Pseudo's 4 yr old daughter - "I love mummy more."
 

Honora

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #29 on: June 25, 2010, 01:57:49 pm »
Not a quote but a charming moment in time that reminds me of my place as Mother.
 
 I was cooking dinner last night and the baked macaroni came out steaming hot. My son looked at the steam and said "Mommy, what's that?"
 
 What's that? A TEACHING MOMENT, that's what! My inner chemist writhed in joy as I switched to my Lecture (tm) voice and started to speak.
 
 "Honey, that's steam. Remember when we talked about ice, water and steam? That's a gas."
 
 "What's a gas?"  (more happy writhing internally)
 
 "A gas is something that expands to fit it's container and does not seek its own level..."
 
 Yes. I really said this to a 5 year old.
 
 "Now look, honey, water is different. (I pull out a glass and open the tap) See how the water fills the container too, but doesn't rise up? It seeks its own level."
 
 He's watching me with a focused expression. I mistake this for interest and wind up for the triumphant finish.
 
 "Remember that ice is solid water, and liquid water will fill a cup. Now you see gaseous water is steam and it will fill the whole room! Do you understand?"
 
 Nod.
 
 "So do you know what gas is now?"
 
 Sincere nod.
 
 "So you tell me, honey, what is gas?"
 
 "It's farts. Mommy, pull my finger!"
 

Alatriel

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #30 on: June 25, 2010, 03:05:06 pm »
Aerimor and Alatriel's 4.5 yr old son:  "Mommy you go yell at Daddy, stop yelling at me!"

Alatriel:  "No, I will yell at Daddy when it is time to yell at Daddy.  Right now, I am yelling at you!"

Aerimor:  "great...."
 

Falonthas

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #31 on: June 25, 2010, 03:13:36 pm »
internal chemist is defeated once again
 

Polak76

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #32 on: June 25, 2010, 05:23:51 pm »
Quote from: Honora
Not a quote but a charming moment in time that reminds me of my place as Mother.
 
 I was cooking dinner last night and the baked macaroni came out steaming hot. My son looked at the steam and said "Mommy, what's that?"
 
 What's that? A TEACHING MOMENT, that's what! My inner chemist writhed in joy as I switched to my Lecture (tm) voice and started to speak.
 
 "Honey, that's steam. Remember when we talked about ice, water and steam? That's a gas."
 
 "What's a gas?"  (more happy writhing internally)
 
 "A gas is something that expands to fit it's container and does not seek its own level..."
 
 Yes. I really said this to a 5 year old.
 
 "Now look, honey, water is different. (I pull out a glass and open the tap) See how the water fills the container too, but doesn't rise up? It seeks its own level."
 
 He's watching me with a focused expression. I mistake this for interest and wind up for the triumphant finish.
 
 "Remember that ice is solid water, and liquid water will fill a cup. Now you see gaseous water is steam and it will fill the whole room! Do you understand?"
 
 Nod.
 
 "So do you know what gas is now?"
 
 Sincere nod.
 
 "So you tell me, honey, what is gas?"
 
 "It's farts. Mommy, pull my finger!"


Hhehe - I got this image of your child later in life with multiple PHD's in physics and chemisty and using that line as a practical joke.
 

Alatriel

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #33 on: June 26, 2010, 01:49:37 am »
Mommy:  "Do you love me to the stopsign?"

4 yr old:  "yep.  Do you love me to that tree?"

Mommy:  "Yep.  Do you love me to the clouds?"

4 yr old:  "Yep.  Do you love me to the airplane?"

Mommy:  "Yep.  Do you know how much I love you?"

4 yr old:  "To the stars and back."

Mommy:  "I do.  I love you to the stars and back."

4 yr old: "Do you know how much I love you Mommy?"

Mommy: "How much?"

4 yr old: "To the stars and back to the moon."

Daddy:  "What, did you run out of gas??"
 

The Unchosen one

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #34 on: June 28, 2010, 03:14:53 pm »
Daughter (drawing mum at 6yrs old): "oops, I accidently turned mum into a pig"

dad: what was that noise?
Daughter: I fell off the chair.
Dad: what were you doing on it?
Daughter: sitting.

Daughter  after dad cracks a bad joke: I am NOT related to him!
 

mixafix

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #35 on: June 28, 2010, 03:19:11 pm »
"One minute Son..ouchy I need to heal thats a bad trap"
 
 "Dad is it dangerous when you step on a trap in this game"
 
 Takes a breath and smiles for the greater good "No it's just a game."
 
 "Do you remember Dad last time when you left the computer."
 
 "Just a minute I just need to....ye..es..on the game where the nasty GM killed my pc with a trap when I was away from the ....screen ?"
 
 pause
 
 "Son?"
 
 "Sorry Dad"
 

The Unchosen one

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #36 on: June 28, 2010, 03:25:59 pm »
*stepson rolling a 1 on persuasion/BS: "oh this game, my friend has this, he is heaps higher than you.... He is lvl 50."

me: the maximum level is 40.

Stepson: " ah yeah 40, ah he must have the sequel."
 

Alazira

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #37 on: July 04, 2010, 07:17:29 pm »
Said by my father to my nephew:

"Don't shoot the cat!"

Half Hour later...

"You can't shoot me..... You shot me!"

:)
 

Alatriel

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #38 on: July 04, 2010, 10:31:45 pm »
(it was a busy night tonight...)

AJ!  Stop sitting on Daddy's head.  AJ... Daddy's head is not a seat.  Get off it.


(a few minutes later)

AJ!  Stop bouncing on Daddy's head!

(a few minutes later)

AJ!  Don't poke Daddy in the eye!  No... Don't shake his head either... No... Stop grabbing Daddy's nose...


(Daddy fell asleep on the floor while watching fireworks on TV because we got rained out)
 

Alatriel

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #39 on: July 13, 2010, 02:49:32 pm »
Older son:  "Mommy, AJ's a horse."

Mommy: *sighs*  "Are you sitting on your brother?"

Older son:  "He wanted me to!"

Mommy:  "I don't care if he wants you to, don't sit on your brother."

Older son:  "Mommy, now he's sitting on me!"

Mommy to younger son:  "Get off your brother"

Younger son:  "I sit. Trey!"

Mommy:  "I know you're sitting on him.  Get OFF of him.  Do NOT sit on each other.  Do NOT get on each other.  GET OFF of each other!"

Younger son:  "I sit. Trey!"

Older son:  "Mommy, AJ's on me. *giggle*"

Mommy:  "I give up..."

Older son:  "Mommy!  Can you help me?"

Mommy:  "No."

Older son:  "But I can't get up!  AJ's on me!"

Mommy goes selectively deaf...
 

 

anything