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Author Topic: Parental Quote of the Day  (Read 7899 times)

Alatriel

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #40 on: July 14, 2010, 08:06:48 pm »
"Baby, why does your head smell like Daddy's armpit?"
 

cbnicholson

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #41 on: July 14, 2010, 09:46:05 pm »
Mom was out for the evening visiting relatives so I gave my teenage son a pick up sandwich and a bag of chips from a convenience store for dinner when I got home.  He smirked and said "Great! Dad's home cooking!"
"Give a man a mask and he will show you his true face." 

Oscar Wilde
 

Alatriel

Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #42 on: September 18, 2010, 06:07:57 am »
Stop sticking the dog's tail in your cup!





and earlier today:



Son:  Mommy what are you eating?



Me:  tuna salad



Son:  what's tuna salad?



Me:  Fish... with stuff in it



Son:  What kind of fish?



Me:  Tuna fish.



Son:  Is it fresh?



Me:  um... sorta?



Son:  Can I have some?



Me:  Sure... *offers him a bite*



Son:  *wrinkles his nose*  um... nevermind.



Me:  I thought you wanted some?  Want me to get you your own?



Son:  no... I like fish, but only the kind I've seen under the water.  I've never seen a tuna fish under the water so I don't want to eat one.



Me:  fine, then don't eat one.  i think they're yummy.



Son:  Mommy?



Me:  whatty?



Son:  can I have something to eat?



Me:  want tuna fish?



Son:  no



Me: then come back later
 

Alatriel

Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #43 on: September 18, 2010, 06:07:57 am »
"Mommy you sure are starting to sound like such a boss!" in a sarcastic four year old tone.



"I am the boss!" said as I make my coffee



"No you're not!  Daddy's the boss!"



"Daddy's the boss... er... when I say he is!"  (*face palm*)
 

Alatriel

Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #44 on: September 18, 2010, 06:07:57 am »
Mommy can I ride on a submarine?



No



Why not?



Because I don't have a submarine.



But we could get one.



No we can't.



Why not?



Because they're really expensive and... we have nowhere to put one.



Weeeeeelllll...... we could go on your computer.  Then you just type in T-A-O-D.  That spells submarine games.  That would work.
 

Alatriel

Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #45 on: September 18, 2010, 06:07:57 am »
*knock on the bedroom door*



Daddy:  "Who is it?"



4 yr old:  "Trey"



Daddy:  "Trey who?"



*silence*







*knock on the door*



Daddy:  "Who is it?"



4 yr old:  "Trey"



Daddy:  "Trey who?"



*silence*



Daddy:  "Trey who?"



4 yr old:  "Um... Banana"
 

Pseudonym

Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #46 on: September 18, 2010, 06:07:57 am »
Pseudo Jnr ( age 8 ) started guitar lessons last week ...



Me - "So, what songs do you have to practice?"



Him - "Peter Gunn, Smoke on the Water, Mission Impossible ... // Various other standard guitar beginner pieces //



Me - "That's cool buddy"



Him - "I'd like to learn to play some Billy Joel songs"



Me - *blinks*
 

Alatriel

Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #47 on: September 18, 2010, 06:07:57 am »
(For those of you that don't know, my father in law is an assistant warden at a prison nearby and lives on the grounds of the prison, so their yardwork is taken care of by prisoners on work detail.)



While walking from the car to the pool on Thursday, there were several people taking care of the landscaping and yardwork surrounding the community pool.  My son looked at them, then looked up at me and says, "Mommy?  Why are the inmates all the way over here?"



I choked on a laugh and said, "Um... honey, not everyone who does yardwork is an inmate.  This isn't a prison, so these people are just doing their job."
 

Alatriel

Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #48 on: September 18, 2010, 06:07:57 am »
4yr old:  Dad!  Dodge the bullets!



Dad:  yes... I know... I'm trying



4yr old:  Dad.... you died.



Dad:  Gee... thanks.  I don't think I could've figured that out on my own *heavy sarcasm*



*more game playing ensues*



4yr old:  Dad... you died again...



Dad:  I know!  I don't need someone to tell me that I died!



4yr old:  well... you did.



*more game playing ensues*



Dad:  Hey Trey?



4yr old:  huh?



Dad:  I died.



4yr old:  Yeah, I saw that.  I saw you go poof.
 

Pseudonym

Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #49 on: September 18, 2010, 06:07:57 am »
Mrs Pseudo from the laundry (requiring assistance lifting a heavy load of washing) - "Can I have your muscles in here?"



Pseudo - *flexes in front of the kids*



Pseudo's 6 yr old daughter with an expression of disdain - "Tsk ... hardly"
 

Alatriel

Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #50 on: September 12, 2010, 08:46:56 am »
*sighs*  Please... don't lock yourself in the dog cage again.
 

Frances

Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #51 on: September 12, 2010, 11:15:10 am »
5 year old son asking for something: "Can I have (whatever it is)?"



Me: "No, you have to wait."



5 seconds later: "Okay, I waited. Now can I have it?"
 

Alatriel

Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #52 on: September 18, 2010, 06:07:57 am »
*Family, gathered at the table eating Chinese takeaway*



Pseudo's 6 year old daughter - "I want to live in China so I can eat Chinese food every day!"



Pseudo's 8 year old son - "Or we could live in Italy and eat spaghetti and meatballs every day!" ((Sure, obviously I haven't done much to dispel racial stereotyping))



Pseudo's 4 year old daughter - "I want to live in Paris and be a musketeer"



Pseudo's 30-something year old wife - "Or we could live in America and have McDonalds every day"



Pseudo's 6 year old daughter - "Mmmm, that'd be the Holy Grail."



Gods Honest true story.
 

RollinsCat

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #53 on: September 28, 2010, 07:06:51 pm »
//missing post IDs

1700096  / Alatriel
1700142 / Alatriel
1700307 / Alatriel
1700473 / Alatriel
1700507 / Pseudonym
1701173 / Alatriel
1701467 / Alatriel
1702403 / Pseudonym
1704122 / Alatriel
1704126 / Frances
1704607 / Pseudonym
 

Alatriel

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #54 on: September 28, 2010, 10:28:05 pm »
Quote from: Alatriel
*Family, gathered at the table eating Chinese takeaway*



Pseudo's 6 year old daughter - "I want to live in China so I can eat Chinese food every day!"



Pseudo's 8 year old son - "Or we could live in Italy and eat spaghetti and meatballs every day!" ((Sure, obviously I haven't done much to dispel racial stereotyping))



Pseudo's 4 year old daughter - "I want to live in Paris and be a musketeer"



Pseudo's 30-something year old wife - "Or we could live in America and have McDonalds every day"



Pseudo's 6 year old daughter - "Mmmm, that'd be the Holy Grail."



Gods Honest true story.


I did not post that... *shifty*
 

Lance Stargazer

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #55 on: September 28, 2010, 10:35:55 pm »
Quote from: Alatriel
I did not post that... *shifty*


You got Pseudonimized. . means you'll be blatantly trying to get thanks?
 

RollinsCat

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #56 on: September 28, 2010, 10:39:37 pm »
Pseudonimized.

darkstorme needs to define that one!
 

Alatriel

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #57 on: September 29, 2010, 08:18:35 am »
Quote from: Lance Stargazer
You got Pseudonimized. . means you'll be blatantly trying to get thanks?


Me?  blatantly trying to get thanked by putting up witty posts to make people laugh?  *glances at the thread she started*  Never!
 

Pseudonym

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #58 on: October 26, 2010, 10:19:51 am »
*Pseudo walks into a kid's bedroom to investigate the sounds of children wrestling. Opening the door, he is greeted by the sight of 5 yr old daughter (ie. The winner) sitting on top of 7 yr old daughter (ie. The loser)

Pseudo - "Ainsley (loser), you okay under there?"

Ainsley - "Yep, it looks like it's gonna be one of those days when you end up with your sister's bottom in your face"
 

Fidzy

Re: Parental Quote of the Day
« Reply #59 on: October 26, 2010, 11:50:45 am »
Quote from: Ravemore
But why?

Because...

Because why?

Because I said so...

Why did you say so?

Because I'm the dad...

etc. etc. etc....   :)

True !!!
And too often...:(