Had a fairly messed up dream last night. It began with a few of my friends telling me that they had gotten us a new house (currently househunting irl) so I figured, hey, great! Went to visit them in this dimly lit run down building downtown, which for some strange reason had a produce store with vegetables on display and a cash register. "Dude, this is a store, what are we selling produce now?" "no no no man, the living space is in the back, come back here". Ok, I thought, maybe not so bad. Went to the back and there was this HUGE Home Depot sized warehouse which didnt seem to have any particular theme at all, it was like a massive eBay bonanza warehouse. (currently work in a home renovation warehouse). Ok what gives man... At this point I start realizing that before all of this I was just sitting in my room (before I went to sleep, heheh) and instead of just figuring out that I was dreaming, I started screaming at them, "what is all of this? I don't even remember coming here! what year is this? It was just 09/23/08!" I'm all thinking that I suffered some kind of amnesia, and they're telling me its been 2 years since then. That we're now in the post apocalypse.
All of the sudden there some hard knocking on the front door and all of my friends scatter in the warehouse. "Open the door, NOW! Open up!" Oh great, they tricked me into tresspassing or trying to steal something, now the police are here... So I figure that the cops probably have the place surrounded already, and being an overweight smoker theres no way in heck I'm going to manage fleeing this place, and I'm already ticked off at my friends so I might as well rat them all out for a reduced sentence. So I let the guy in, and it's Ronnie Cordova from the sockbaby.com martial arts/comedy series. He's all sweating bullets, freaking out and ranting about how we have to get out of here, now, with his hair slicked back dressed in his aviator sunglasses and leisure suit. Huh? What the heck is a P.I. doing here? Shouldn't he be protecting the Sockbaby? Where's Burger?
So Ronnie Cordova now sprints out the front exit of the store. *shrug* I go back into the warehouse to try and find out where those buggers are who even tricked me into coming here are, and why I don't remember anything for the past 2 years. Now the warehouse is infested by rats and dire rats. And not only that, they appear to be the NWN dire rats that for no good reason have demonic voices and scream "your soul is mine!" all echoey and stuff. I look down and I'm completely naked and unarmed... eeep!
I run around the massive random item warehouse looking for ANYTHING that can be used as a weapon, a blunt object, anything, but the prospects look grim. Baby-wets-herself dolls, placemats, pirated DVDs, and finally, aha! Tiny 2 inch pocket knives! "what the heck, 1d4 is 1d4" I distinctly remember saying aloud. I sprint around stabbing the smallest of the rats with it, pinning them down and twisting as they go "eeee! eee! eeeee!". I finally come across a pallete of concert T-shirts in the warehouse, Blind Guardian I think, and think to myself... "aha! Now I just need some pants!" and scour the place until I find a pair of cargo shorts and a pair of sandals. Not much, but at least the rats dont get a clean shot on my bum... I'm still wary about kicking them unless I find some decent shoes though, (rabies!) and that would be so much easier than getting on all fours and stabbing them with a 2 inch blade. In fact, I dont even know why I wasnt just punching them.
N00bly equipped in the worst sense ever, I then stumble upon the motherload crate... cheaply made swords! The kind that say "made in china" on them, that you'd typically find in a spencers or RPG shop and you could likely sunder with a broomstick. Ah well! better than the 2 inch pocket knife. So I appropriately pocket the pocket knife and pick out the best flimsy, poorly constructed, unsharpened sword for myself in my main hand, and run around with another the same size in my offhand, not so much to use, but just in case I run into any allies in the warehouse, like my friends who were hiding. The rest of the dream devolved into hacking apart dog-sized, demonic voiced dire rats. I think I might have made level two.
The moral of the story? Don't fall asleep right after playing NWN and watching sockbaby online while you're househunting, especially if you work in a warehouse for a living. That combination just isn't good for your mental health.
