There once was a knight in gold armor,
Who fancied himself quite the charmer
Found a maid that he fed, whole kegs o' the Red
But that lip hamster still did alarm 'er
Eh? Eh?!
*****
Been a while since I been in here. Where's the ol' blue bastard?
He's probably hiding because he doesn't want to FACE ME in a limerick contest!
*****
There once was a girl named Chimes...
She smelled of mud and cheap wine! Har!
But! give her a fiddle, she'll utter a giggle...
And belt out the best riddle of all time! Yay us!
*****
There once was an elf named Milara
Who changed Alindor to Rilara
He still rues the day, when Blood took away
His pretty pink diamond tiara...? Excellent, but I'd be a bit more harsh on that one.
There once was a fool named Milara Heh Heh
Aknown darkoverelf ofall veryBellowin karmaara...
Right, good! Known over all Belinara,
He tried to be a god - the bubberin' sod!
...and he still stinks up Belinara.
I think we're collaboratin'.
*****
We should do one about Steel... Fine. Even if he's scaaaared. Bawk bawk bawk!
I got it! There once was a chicken named Steel,
Who was scared to come down for his meal
'cause Vrebel and Chimes were there makin' rhymes,
and with losing he just couldn't deal.
*****
Okay, let me try.
That blue fiend is vile
He chops off heads with a smile
But! When he likes a ring with various things
He'll bankrupt himself for a while! Har! For the shinies!
*****
I've always wondered where she got her rearend from. So what about our gold knight? I was sure he'd come! Honestly, some people. He's probably movin' a chest in the Angels er somethin'. But could there be a higher calling than bawdy limericks?
A man of meager means...
finds something so keen
a dragon god of shiney gold...of stories to behold
but the knight is too scared and too old
Oohoo, I bet he challenges you for his honor or somethin'! You could tell I made that one up on the fly.
*****
I will try another Moustache one...
There's a knight who is fond of a flagon
He'll truck it on in by the wagon...
Thinks the ladies all pine, but in truth his best line...
...is 'lie back and think of the dragon'. Har!
Very nice! I'd love to hear his reaction! Too bad he was chicken, too! Rofi's got chicken wings, neener neener!
There was once a knight who was fond of his dragon....
He'd whisper to it while riding even in a wagon... snerk
but truth be told... he was very old...
and his dragon was never good at ridin'...
Hee! I was thinking of something about saggin'... ha! Jowls, perhaps... Aye, that too.
*****
Who else shoulda been here? Tralek? Erm, maybe Lana? Storold always liked these gigs... Oh, yeah! You've heard my Storold song, right? He's a big fan, I've heard, ahem. It's called Bald, Bald Sir Storold, and it was... briefly... all the rage in Spellgard...
*****
Yeah! I was so jealous that - oh hey, he told me you went with him to fix the Rift! You heard? That was supposed to be top secret... Puh-lease, everything makes its way to Acacea.
*****
Still miss that angelic princess... I should have gotten her number er somethin'... Hmm... maybe you could
find someone who can cast Gate and try to summon her from the Pits! Ha! Though... she might not appreciate it... Great idea! I'll ask Tralek. I have her name... somewhere... You do?!
*****
How come some people meet interested winged people during extraplanar travel, and I get sat on by a dragon in the plane of fire? Yer timin' ain't right. One day you'll meet something that knocks you off yer feet. ...I meant interesting, not interested; I suppose I was picking up on your wishful thinking...
*****
You know, I think technically when you summon something, you are summoning a version of it, or something... now that I think of it... I think if you summon somethin' you better be ready ta kill it. So the real her might still be somewhere in the Pits ... hmm... She's out there, yep. I meant if you summoned her, she and the summon would technically exist at the same time! It would be her and not her! That's too safisticated thinkin' fer me.
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I think she's kind a nomad, but will settle down with a strong man of battle. Har! Everybody's gotta dream, I suppose! I ain't dreamin'. Yeah! That's the spirit!
*****
I would go easy on her, though. No, c'mon! You gotta make it a real duel! Blades locked! People flying around! That's goin' easy! You gotta remember she's got the wing advantage, so even though you're really buff she'll have tricks. Yeah... I don't wanna chop off her wings, though. True... maybe you could tangle 'em... or ... Maybe, erm, I'll just slap her around with my sword.
*****
Yea, yea, I get you! Okay, I think I got one... maybe...
You know Vrebel is really untoward,
when he tells the story of how he scored...
he met a lady with wings, and other fine things,
and said "eh I'll jes smack 'er around with my sword"
Eh?? Thats yer best work so far. Where's my ale!
*****
Very nice. You got skills I did not even know 'bout. I was a bartender here for a long time! Well, that was before it burned down... Yeah, remember that. Blackwatch? It's a tough town. Gotta grease the wheels.
If ever you meet those who'll botch,
all of their duties save scotch...
when they only aspire, to set things on fire,
you can be sure they belong on the Watch...
You're too good, Chimes. I kinda wanted to work a kick in the crotch there, somewhere, but I had to go with it on short notice!
*****
He does like his dragon, though. I thought I could think of a dragon loving limerick really fast, but my mind went blank... ha! Too much ale. You can help me? With what?
There once was a dragon lovin' knight...
Who... stayed up all through the night!
Never to sleep... without his pet sheep?
...
And the dragon said but a peep? I think I was off tempo. You finish it. Or... hm...
There once was a dragon loving knight,
who stayed up all through the night...
never to sleep, without his pet sheep,
though its bleating did give him a fright?
*****
Thanks for coming! Oh wait, I thought of another one...
A knight went to see a great wizard,
about how he could get him a gizzard...
he got fancy scales, and a whole bunch of ales,
just to romance his Great Lizard. Typical.
((Thanks so much to Vrebel for coming, and for shooting me the log NWN ate! Way more entertaining than pestering Lily, and I thought at least some of the calling-outs should definitely be shared *cough*))
