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Author Topic: Bilkan Kingdom-Military- EdTheKet/Writer REVIEW  (Read 388 times)

Alatriel

Bilkan Kingdom-Military- EdTheKet/Writer REVIEW
« on: July 12, 2010, 05:08:04 pm »
The page is confusing because it says that the Bilkan Kingdom has a small navy, but no army to speak of other than plans to build one, then gives numbers of how many are in the army and it's unclear if it's supposed to be talking about the army or the navy...  Perhaps this could be clarified or corrected?
 

EdTheKet

Re: Bilkan Kingdom-Military- EdTheKet/Writer REVIEW
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2010, 02:27:37 am »
Not sure I follow, an army of three thousand to defend an entire kingdom is "no army to speak of" I would think?

It also says those three thousand are in the army under command of the meja- (= general), so that's clear too?

Perhaps I'm missing your point?
 

Alatriel

Re: Bilkan Kingdom-Military- EdTheKet/Writer REVIEW
« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2010, 09:48:01 am »
Okay, maybe this would make sense.  I was having a hard time understanding it because the paragraphs were speaking of both at the same time instead of one at a time.  I didn't alter much, but I offered a suggestion to clarify slightly.  It's not a huge edit, but it helps me at least.  Maybe it's not a big deal, but it was confusing to me the first time I read it so I had to reread it a few times to pull out the information.  It may be a me issue ;)


What was originally written on LORE:

Since joining the Rohden Alliance, Bilkan has now managed to muster itself a small navy. Not nearly as impressive as any of the other members, but much more than Bilkan ever used to have. It has no actual army to speak of, although since the aggression from Telish Throne, preparations are now underway to arrange a permanent defense for the kingdom. This has taken some time to get underway, since the mido himself was opposed to the creation of such an army, and rumor has it that it took much pleading from the kagi to get this done.

At this time, the army stands at just over three thousand men of which the meja- is the leader. While the navy takes orders from the Throne, the meja- has the power to discuss it although he does not use it often. The structure of the army is also modeled after other armies, with a command structure that includes lieutenants and privates. In fact, because of outside influences in both the navy and the army, most of the ways and terms of old have died out in the wake of rebuilding and only the titles of the highest ranking officers remain.



My edit:


Since joining the Rohden Alliance, Bilkan has now managed to muster itself a small navy. Not nearly as impressive as any of the other members, but much more than Bilkan ever used to have. This is important as it has no actual army to speak of.  Although, since the aggression from Telish Throne, preparations are now underway to arrange a permanent defense for the kingdom. This has taken some time to get underway, since the mido himself was opposed to the creation of such an army, and rumor has it that it took much pleading from the kagi to get this done.  At this time, the army stands at just over three thousand men of which the meja- is the leader.

While the navy takes orders from the Throne, the meja- has the power to discuss it although he does not use it often. The structure of the army is also modeled after other armies, with a command structure that includes lieutenants and privates. In fact, because of outside influences in both the navy and the army, most of the ways and terms of old have died out in the wake of rebuilding and only the titles of the highest ranking officers remain