Sall struggled and tugged at his coat, trying to release it from the womans gasp.... but despite her small size and frail appearance, her grip was incredibly strong. Infact, she hardly seemed to notice he struggled, and clasping tightly the ends of the thin belt that ran around his coat, she skipped cheerfully along, dragging him deeper and deeper into the trees.
" Look woman... I dont even know you! Get the hell off me!" he cried, struggling even more fiercely.
" Ohh poof!" she giggled, her smile wide and innocent, her black scruffy hair bobbed at the back bouncing to and fro, with an unusual look in her eyes that Sall simply couldn't place.
" Your my daddy of course.... dont worry.... the hit on your head did that. I'll take you home.... and you'll remember everything and make me wonderful presents and cook me cherry and chocolate pies all day long." she laughed, skipping merrily and tugging him along.
They had left the path a good while ago, and Sall was still at a loss as to what happened. This woman just came out the woods, bursting from some bushes covered in small branches and leaves clinging to her tattered clothes, huffing and puffing as though exhausted. She screamed at him a moment, something unintelligable, then grabbed his coat and began dragging him in the trees. Normally, he would have drew his sword and cut himself free if he had to, or just took a deep breath and knocked her unconscious, despite his hatred of such things.... but there was something about this one that held him back.
She was scruffy, dirty, her boots and clothes in tatters with strange, slime like smears across them, and she smelt like a sewer. But she had no weapons, there was no look of malice in her eyes or face... more like.... total innocence or something... Sall couldn't place it. And she genuinely seemed to believe he was her dad!
" Just a little more daddy.... I think I saw my brother's ahead... they'll be happy to see you too. Oooo.... then we can have a campfire... and all sit around and sing songs and..."
He began ignoring her, sensing a prickling on his neck.
Up ahead he saw it, a shadow move.... and he stopped in his tracks, refusing to let her tug him an inch closer. The sudden stop made her frown, and she looked up at him with obvious dissapointment.
" What is it dadd...aaeeee!" she suddenly let out a shrill scream, as a crossbow bolt whizzed through the air and grazed her arm, thudding into a tree close by.
" !" he swore, pushing the woman to the floor and hiding quickly behind a tree. Two other whizz sounds followed, and two other bolts struck into the trees around him. In a flash his swords were out, and he stood over the woman angrily, seeming ready to knock her unconscious.
But.... she wept and cried, holding her bleeding arm and looking at Sall pathetically through tear streaked eyes, wailing like a child.
She certainly didn't look like she had expected this. And if this was her attempt to lead him into an ambush... her tactics were.... well... far too pathetic to be believable.
With a soft curse, he edged around the huge tree trunk and spotted the attackers. A dwarf and a halfling... hidden in the brush, or trying to but doing a terrible job if it. Mercenaries likely... waiting by the road for someone to wander by. They didn't have much of any kind of armour, looked fairly tattered and rough.... and now they'd missed their targets on the first few shots... they seemed a little dubious about continuing the whole thing, arguing in hushed whispers with each other.
Suddenly Sall was gone. The wind whispered in the trees, branches creaked and groaned, and occassional bird song filtered down... and of course, the woman continued her screaming and wailing.
She didn't even notice he was missing... neither did the two mercenaries.... until Sall was stood behind them.
A few hacking and slashing sounds followed, a long groan of pain... and Sall walked slowly back to the wailing woman, wiping blood off his sword with the edge of his coat.
" Now... " he said, pointing one of his swords at her, " you wanna tell me who the hell you are?"
She stopped wailing, sniffling a moment, glancing behind him and noting the two mercenaries were dead with wide, puffy eyes. But, stifled as it were, it didn't stop, and with another wail of tears, she wrapped her arms around his legs, hugging them tightly.
" Oh daddy! I was so afraid! Why.... why do people try to... to keep us apart?! Pe-people are so.... mean!"
His legs crushed together so tightly he almost fell over, Sall had to keep hold of the trees beside him to keep his balance.
" All I want is to be happy! But noooo... " she screws up her face angrily, wiping her nose with a dirty sleeve, " they kicked me out of Hempstead... they kicked me out of the Arms.... they even said I couldn't stay in the Sewers! And I so loved that rat....."
She sighs miserably, sniffling, now wiping her nose on his trouser leg.
" Woman! I dont even care! I aint your bloody daddy! And I dont care where you stay! I mean... what are you... craz...!" he stops suddenly, biting his tongue, realisation dawning on him
The sudden silence causes her to look up, and that same look of oblivious innocence sparkles in her glazed eyes. She looks at him curiously at the outburst. For a brief moment, her eyes flutter repeatedly and turn white. Then suddenly, she looks up at him adoringly, practically climbing up his clothes to look into his eyes, a bright, mischeivous glint in them.
" Take off your shirt." she says, twiddling with some buttons on his coat.
Sall blinks.
" Er.... what?"
She takes a step back, looking him up and down with obvious, unhidden approval. Taking a deep breath, she suddenly begins yelling at the top of her voice, shrill and piercing, until no more breath remains in her lungs.
" I do! I do! I do I do I doooooo!"
Sall falters and flusters, stepping back and bumping into a tree behind him, his face almost comical in his confusion and bewilderment.
" What the hell you doing woman?!?"
She takes a deep breath, sighing, and a bright smile plays on her lips. She skips over to him and grasps his hand, tugging the bewildered man along with her through the woods, who now seems at a complete loss to stop her.
" There.... " she says, pulling him along... " All married now."
// I love my job. Heh. 1 more to come.
