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Topics - Pseudonym
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101
« on: May 06, 2008, 08:48:41 am »
Last week I have had the fortune to participate in two mixafix quests .. both excellent. Mixafix is a treat we don't normally get to enjoy in AEST timezone but i'm real glad he's got a few days off work (or whatever) and able to run some great quests.
If you can make them, do yourselves a favour.
102
« on: April 13, 2008, 06:07:23 pm »
Hey!
Sorry for the late notice but the quest ("The Proposal") scheduled for AEST tonight to have be run by me is now to take place at the same time tomorrow (morning for the GMTers). Instead, Dezza's quest ("Somethings eating my chickens") which was to have taken place tomorrow will happen tonight.
Confusing? Hopefully not too much.
Originally
Monday 9.00pm AEST - Pseudonym
Tuesday 8.30pm AEST - Dezza
Now
Monday 8.30pm AEST - Dezza
Tuesday 9.00pm AEST - Pseudonym
Cheers!
103
« on: April 08, 2008, 07:04:00 pm »
Pseudo's Community Service of the Day
Are you SURE you're ready to have children??
Test 1 - Preparation
Women: To prepare for pregnancy:-
1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.
3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.
Men: To prepare for children:-
1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.
Test 2 - Knowledge
Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behavior.
Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.
Test 3 - Nights
To discover how the nights will feel:
1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years.
Test 4 - Dressing Small Children
1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hang out.
Time Allowed: 5 minutes.
Test 5 - Cars
1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Test 6 - Going For a Walk
Wait
Go out the front door
Come back in again
Go out
Come back in again
Go out again
Walk down the front path
Walk back up it
Walk down it again
Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
Retrace your steps
Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.
Test 7
Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.
Test 8 - Grocery Shopping
1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Test 9 - Feeding a 1 year-old
1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.
Test 10 - TV
1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.
Test 11 - Mess
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor & leave it there.
Test 12 - Long Trips with Toddlers
1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Test 13 - Conversations
1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
Test 14 - Getting ready for work
1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.
3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to work
You are now ready to have children.
104
« on: April 04, 2008, 08:23:44 pm »
One minute, 49 seconds is my time to beat. Escapa!
105
« on: March 21, 2008, 10:48:11 pm »
~oOo~
The body of Elepethen Aporran, famed (infamous?) leader of the DiamondBlades Adventuring Company of Nesar (and allegedly the warrior who singlehandedly slew three balor princes in hand-to-hand combat) has been returned to Arnax for burial. Companions say his corpse was found at the fringes of The Green Marsh and bore many terrible slashing wounds, perhaps of tooth and claw. His companions have vehemently denied the rumours that as many of the wounds (that apparently caused his death) were on his back as his front. His family request privacy in this their time of remembrance and grieving.
~oOo~
106
« on: March 20, 2008, 02:46:00 am »
~oOo~
Jnaar Itenu Ravorinin of Sedera and Queen Alise Langovale of Kuhl are happy to announce the successful signing of a mutually beneficial trade agreement between the two nations. Both rulers foresee this new trade arrangement and it's significant reduction on trade tariffs as the beginning of a long and fruitful friendship for the two kingdoms. Although a representative of the Jnaar was unavailable for further comment, it would appear the new agreement is to take effect immediately and several merchants have already begun the journey across the Sea of Fury with laden ships.
~oOo~
107
« on: March 17, 2008, 07:06:07 pm »
*A notice is posted in various establishments (generally those serving hard liquor)*~oOo~
Should I invent a noble sounding cause?
Or, should I just admit that Sall and Ark need mithril?
Despite our fervent prayers, the precious mineral faeries are yet to magically nor mysteriously bestow these two heroes with any of the precious metal. As such, let's do it the old fashioned (and vastly more difficult) way!! Unfortunately it would seem that rugged handsomeness in no way assists in the procurement of mithril and therefore stout companions with relevant abilities suitable to overcoming dangerous obstacles and opponents are required to assist.
Comrades assisting will be unlikely to share in any mithril found (though all other items and loot to be shared as equitably as possible) however will still likely be subject to much belittlement, whingeing and good natured abuse.
Dalanthar is the place to see and be seen!
~oOo~
[size=-2]// Due to the areas we will be travelling/fighting/dying - level limit is 17+. Starting location - Dalanthar Starting time - 8.30pm AEDT Calendar link[/size]
108
« on: March 16, 2008, 06:39:00 pm »
Description: The spawns in a couple of new areas didn't seem to be listening to the disable encounter wand.
Location: (At least) Coastal Crags - Sacred Isle (cho_watergen3) and the adjoining screen .. the underwater smuggler's cave (can't remember exact name sorry)
Verified: -
Reproducable: Placed creatures were limbo'd and wand used but spawns still happening.
109
« on: March 05, 2008, 12:41:25 am »
Money owing from ...
Lex'or - 30,000 true
Sein Alinds - 40,000 true
Sasha - 70,000 true
Rolan - 10,000 true
Eggy - 100,000 true
110
« on: February 25, 2008, 11:30:59 pm »
Just a thought I had that I wanted to pop in here. Maybe it belongs in the MMO ideas forum? I'll pop it here and those that might pay it heed can do whatever they want with it. I am uncertain where it might go as I figure any ideas like this, even if they are deemed to have merit, are extremely unlikely to be implemented into NwN Layo. Will the new MMO have level requirements for certain items? If so (or a system similar) read on, if not .. then not. Anyways, not that clerics really need another advantage over the other classes but just had the idea that certain items really lend themselves towards usage by members of certain faiths. For example. Gnomish repeating crossbow - Current lvl req. 19 - Something coded such that a Priest/ess of Goran could use it at lvl 19 minus X. Maybe 10ish? Athus' Touch Gloves - Current lvl req. 13? - Priest/ess of Aeridin at lvl 8ish? Greater Ladies Gift - Current lvl req. 19 - Priest/ess of Lucinda at lvl 10ish? Club of Bloodiness - Current lvl req. ?? - less for a Priest/ess of Grand. Anyways, you get the idea. Just thought such a thing might add flavour. 
111
« on: February 14, 2008, 06:21:24 pm »
Hi. I have been thinking about how to do this post IC but have given up after half a dozen attempts. Firstly, if you cannot trust yourself not to metagame then read no further. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Seriously. If you're not sure you're up to it, cease now. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Okay, if you're still reading, remember you have agreed not to metagame. What you need to know. New guild proposal - seeking members. We need to have confirmed participants before this can be formally taken to Leanthar for approval. Guild: The VaultFirst Tier of operations. Legitimate moneylending enterprise. Receive deposits from players at 10% interest paid per RL month. Loan money to players at 20% interest received per RL month. Simple huh? Second Tier of operations. Something for our 'seedier' characters. Please PM for details if this is something that you think might be of interest for your character. IMPORTANT -> Those operating in the first tier will have no knowledge of those involved in the second tier (and vice versa). There would be two entirely separate forums established. Membership of one aspect/tier will almost certainly preclude membership of the other (though not at a customer level, ie a member of the guild second tier might still want to borrow money). Okay, what do I need from you? If one wants to buy a seat on the 'table' of the Vault (first tier operations) - entitling them to a say in policy matters and a fair and proportional share of bank profits (if any) - the cost is 100,000 true. If one wants to buy a seat at the 'ring' of the Vault (second tier of operations) - entitling then to certain things (PM for more info'n) - the cost is 100,000 true. Can't afford it? I hear there is a bank opening with reasonable rates of interest.  Feel free to post expressions of interest (excuse the pun) or clarifying questions here. Those expressing interest in the second tier might wish to send me a PM. This new guild is provisional based upon sufficient interest and members. Regards, Pseudo
112
« on: February 09, 2008, 07:27:40 am »
Guides never around when you need 'em?
Waste lots of time wandering?
Can't remember if you take the north or the south path from Corax Lake to get to the Black Hills?
If you've answered yes to any or all of these questions friends, despair not! Help is close at hand. Arkolio has been hard at work and now provides - for a modest fee of 4,000 true - very useful traveller's maps of Dregar.
This small investment, the equivalent of a meal or two at an over-priced inn, will pay for itself in no time as you never put a foot wrong again.
[size=-2]// This map (sample below) is pretty big (between one and six meg depending on file type and quality) and purchasers would need to be prepared to receive an email from me of the file. I promise not to on-sell your email address to Amway or the like.[/size]
113
« on: January 20, 2008, 09:06:49 pm »
[size=-2]// Sung to Bon Jovi's 'Wanted Dead or Alive' //[/size]
It's not the same, my ability to hit will change
Everyday it seems i'm (fruitlessly) slashing away
Another foe with the tough armour i'm told
I'd hack all night with my iron and II cold
I'm a swordsman, with an iron blade Kobal made
I want a shortsword, mithril blade
I'm a swordsman
I want a shortsword, mithril blade
Sometimes it's constructs, sometimes it's outsiders
And the warriors I meet have no issues with queen spiders
Sometimes I rue the day
By the blade that never goes clink
And times when you're alone all you do is think
I'm a swordsman, with an iron blade Kobal made
I want a shortsword, mithril blade
I'm a swordsman
I want a shortsword, mithril blade
I walk these lands, a yew shortbow on my back
I avoid the crypts, 'cause I might not make it back
I been everywhere, and I'm feeling somewhat small
Every foe's got immunity and I've missed them all
I'm a swordsman, with an iron blade Kobal made
I want a shortsword, mithril blade
I'm a swordsman, I got the night on my side
I want a shortsword, mithril blade
I'd kill for a shortsword, mithril blade
I want a shortsword, mithril blade
I'm a swordsman, with an iron blade Kobal made
I want a shortsword, mithril blade
I'm a swordsman
I want a shortsword, mithril blade
I'm a swordsman, with an iron blade Kobal made
I want a shortsword, mithril blade
I'm a swordsman
I want a shortsword, mithril blade
Arkolio de'Averlain
114
« on: January 16, 2008, 10:02:42 pm »
Howdy folks!
I have been thinking for a little while now about a quest series that is as close to a PnP style game as I can conceive.
Would there be much interest (unfortunately i'm addressing this question primarily to AEST evening, GMT morning and PST and EDT night-owl players) in a quest series run for characters that would be created especially for use in this series and would be played ONLY in this series for a period of about 3-4 months?? These players would have to go through the standard submission process (incorporating some details of background that I would provide to you beforehand) but COULD ONLY BE PLAYED IN THE SCHEDULED QUESTS, not outside in 'general play'. There would be no XP gained outside the quest, no gold, no items, etc. Your character would have to sit in your vault untouched until the next quest session. As I said, this series would run for approximately 3-4 months before the characters were 'released' into general play.
Does that sound interesting or would people prefer me to just run quests for the characters that you have in existence now that can be played whenever you want? If there is enough interest in this idea it would mean my more general quests might be once per fortnight rather than once per week with the alternate week spent on this other group.
Post here or PM me with your yay or nay thoughts.
Regards,
Pseudo
115
« on: December 30, 2007, 05:19:28 pm »
Or, as they say in the land of rugby and cricket humiliation,
Hari ra whanau!
Happy Birthday Tanman, on this day may all your mystery minerals be emeralds, all your SS rolls be > (your level + 1) and your alcohol fortitude saves be plentiful!
116
« on: December 25, 2007, 09:38:16 pm »
Outskirts of the Swamp of Sorrows, Eastern Alindor.*Two figures crouch behind some low brush, their similar features reveal them to be related, most probably father and son. Their clothing is coarse, homespun. The bow clutched nervously in the boy's trembling hands (that he tries so desperately to hide) is also of a crude make. Crudely perhaps .. yet lovingly made. An inscription on the shaft reads - To my son on his 13th birthday, never was there a father more proud. The inscribed letters are simple, the script of a man clearly unused to scholarly pursuits. The bow is the result of countless hours in the evening spent in front of the hearth shaping and polishing the wood long after the rest of the family had taken to their beds. Countless hours spent crafting a bow for his only son.* "That's it son, slow and steady now. Ssshhhhhhh, easy does it, sssshhhhhhh. Keep your movements slow and steady ... ease the arrow back, that's it. Keep breathing, in and out ... good.*Some forty paces away (perhaps fifty of the boy's paces) is a nide of pheasants, completely unaware of their would be hunter.* "Breathe, in and out ... relax your shoulders. Hold a moment ... and release"*the arrow flys from the bow, the carved bone head splits the air with an audible hum .... only to strike the trunk of a tree at least a foot or three above the head of the tallest pheasant. The birds scatter into the underbrush. Laughter rings out loud and unforced from the father, the need for stealth now gone. His son, face burning, cannot help but join in the mirth with a chuckle.* "Much closer that time son. Had that bird chosen that moment to leap high in the air, surely your arrow would have struck true! Go fetch the shaft, it is time we are home. Your mother will start to worry afore long and your sisters will be awaiting tall tales of the hunter's adventures.""Yes father"*Rising to his feet as his son went to recover the wayward arrow, the man stretched the aching muscles of his back. Moments like this were all too rare yet there was always much to be done on their small farm. Despite the clearing of the skies, life was still hard. A man had to work from dawn to dusk and beyond in order to survive. Luxuries such as this hour-long hunting trip with his son were few and far between.* *Then, a flicker of movement in the corner of his vision.* *Then, there is screaming. Then, there is blood. Then, there is death.* . . . *Then, there is silence.* Quest details here
117
« on: December 15, 2007, 08:04:36 pm »
Tonight's (or maybe it's tomorrow morning for you?) quest - The Great Switcherooni - will have to be run an hour later than originally scheduled. I'll update the calendar entry now.
I apologise for the mucking around - I organised the time of the quest at the same time as my kid's school Christmas carols concert. I have visions of it being like one of those American sitcoms where the sad little kid looks up into the audience and sees an empty seat where his Dad is mean to be .. you know, the seat right next to the very angry looking wife.
If we make it an hour later it can be like one of those very same sitcoms but the one where the kid is expecting the seat to be empty but looks up to see his Dad smiling proudly at him and everyone feels all warm and fuzzy and then they go home arm in arm and the Mom makes some wholesome eggnog and the family sit around the piano before the youngest child (precocious yet endearing) makes some wisecrack that leads to canned laughter as the credits roll.
Anyways, lets go with that second scene, see you there!
118
« on: December 04, 2007, 08:06:24 pm »
I, Arkolio de'Averlain the directionally challenged, am seeking maps of Mistone and Dregar. I shall pay 10,000 true (or goods to an approximately equivalent value) to the first person/s to bring to me a complete map of Mistone such as this. [size=-2] // I'd (OOC) ideally like this to be an opportunity for a/some lower level PCs but IC'ly speaking, Ark isn't too fussy![/size] The princely sum of 20,000 true (or goods to an approximately equivalent value) shall be paid to the first person/s to bring me a complete map of Dregar such as this. Please feel free to send a bird or seek me out at home in Krandor (or my home away from home, the Temple of Xeen in Katherian) if clarification of the above task is required. Arkolio de'Averlain
119
« on: December 04, 2007, 08:02:38 pm »
I, Arkolio de'Averlain the directionally challenged, am seeking maps of Mistone and Dregar. I shall pay 10,000 true to the first person/s to bring to me a complete map of Mistone such as this. [size=-2] // I'd (OOC) ideally like this to be an opportunity for a/some lower level PCs but IC'ly speaking, Ark isn't too fussy![/size] The princely sum of 20,000 true shall be paid to the first person/s to bring me a complete map of Dregar such as this. Please feel free to send a bird or seek me out at home in Krandor (or my home away from home, the Temple of Xeen in Katherian) if clarification of the above task is required. Arkolio de'Averlain
120
« on: December 02, 2007, 05:54:39 pm »
From survivor to sailor, from sailor to merchant, from merchant to innkeeper, from innkeeper to you comes a bloody and brutal tale from Sedera.
You are told in hushed whispers the frightening story of a man, tall and bearded, skin burned dark by the desert sun who plagues the nightmares of all peace loving folks in this kingdom. He wields twin blades of death and ruin and slays all who stand against him without discrimination - soldier, farmer ... adult, child.
The whereabouts of this recently arrived plague of Sedera are unknown ... he leaves no track to follow and few alive in his wake to report his movements to the authorities.
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