Topics

1

Roleplaying / you and your character

« on: July 25, 2005, 12:38:00 pm »

I am new to Layonara, but more importantly to D&D and role playing in general, so pardon if I sound naive. (I actually don't interact online much at all, save for mountains of email). As I start to develop my own character, I find myself increasingly interested in other peoples' process. I would love to hear folk's thoughts on their character and its relationship to themselves.

Some questions that cross my mind....

How did you choose and develop your character? Is your character like yourself? Or someone you know? Do you feel what your character feels (fear, courage, awe, excitement etc)? Or is it all acting? In other words, is there a clear line between you and your character?

Did you do lots of thinking and planning before developing your character, or are you making it up as you go along?

What is it like when you have several characters?

Also very frequently I find myself wondering what the people behind the characters are like. I often feel the urge to break out in a RL chat, but I know that's a "no-no." Does one get to know the real people behind the characters as well?

This a brand new world to me and very fascinating. I look forward to your comments.

2

Wild Surge Inn / armoir

« on: July 21, 2005, 02:37:00 pm »

*A note written in a small delicate hand*

Somehow in moving furniture in my room I have managed to secure my armoir facing backwards permanently against the wall. Is there anyone who has experience with furniture moving who can help me pry the piece from the wall?

You can leave me a note here. I will check back at the Inn periodically.

Thank you,

zerpa soulcry

3

Development Journals and Discussion / zerpa's journal

« on: July 18, 2005, 09:48:00 am »

I know I am going to have to face it. I cannot avoid it any longer. The pain, the trauma, the fear seem to envelop my every waking moment.  I can't remember what happened that night, and yet I'm left with a haunting memory of torture and abandon.

All I really know now is that the world isn't a safe place. I think I used to believe it was. Perhaps it is the increasing force of Bloodstone that darkens the continents. But it must be more than that. It must be this trauma I can't remember. I have nothing but fear and dread to guide my life.

What happened that night is hard to reconstruct. My husband, teefal, tells me we had been in Rangers Vale for a couple of weeks settling in with our newly adopted baby girl, when suddenly gypsies appeared late one night and stole our child. They knocked us unconscious and bound teefal. I must have woken soon after they left and tried to follow them... until they spotted me. They beat me unconscious and left me to die. I must have lain in the woods alone, silently bleeding, being picked over by spiders, gnolls, and ogres until I was found by rangers near Kronar three days later. They found me lying next to my shattered oak bow, barely alive. I had no idea who or where I was.

I still remember nothing of that night, nor do I remember much about my life before. I have memories of teefal and our love, fleeting scenes of my childhood in Laeral by the sea, but not much else. I am told I used to be skilled archer, but now I can barely shoot straight.

To this day I fear the forest and its dreary darkness.

Since that night I have tried to heal and to fit in to the local community in Hlint. I say little and try to blend in, since I want little attention from others. It's difficult to be around people most of the time. I'm afraid they will discover who I am deep down. There are certainly some who have been kind and gentle... Connor Garvil, Marcan Telo, Ayla Bineau, Luna Moonchaser... to name a few.  And of course, my dear teefal, who has stood by me throughout this agony. But most people seem like dangerous strangers to me.

I don't think others can perceive my inner terror. I certainly hope not. I try so hard to hide it. I perform my daily tasks and attempt to fulfill my obligations as best I can... with integrity, honesty, and skill. I know we must all join together to clear away the evil from the land and make this realm safe once again. But I feel like a fraud. I'm barely qualified to call myself an archer. I don't feel useful on our quests. I'm terrified of the dark and of evil creatures. And then there are the forests......... I feel helpless most of the time. I'm afraid to leave Hlint.

Every night I pray to Ilsare, my Lady of Dreams, to wake me from this nightmare and to guide me out of this darkness. But every day remains like the next... filled with trepidation and anguish.

Teefal thinks the gypsies put on a curse on me - a spell to wash away the memory of our child that they so viciously stole from us. I have a vague memory of an infant, but I can't picture her. Maybe teefal's right.

But how can I heal this pain? What can I do? I feel like such a victim. I need to feel some confidence, some stability. But what can bring me empowerment?