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Messages - Alatriel
Pages: 1 ... 4 5 [6] 7 8 ... 98
101
« on: December 28, 2014, 01:48:06 am »
Dear Daughter, I know that you're too young to really understand this yet, but I hope that some day you will. I suppose I should tell you a little bit about me, and then maybe things will make a bit more sense to you in time. I don't know that your father will really raise you with any sort of devotion to any god. I know that with his history, and I'm not sure how much he will have told you, he is very hesitant to ever offer his allegiance to anyone ever again. That being said, I do hope that you'll still be able to learn a bit about Toran from those that are still around you and the shrine that was built. It's sort of hard to describe who I am because it goes back so far and it is so deep. I started training as a paladin as early as I was able. It was simply always what I thought I was going to do. It was my calling, and my life. So when I was still a fairly young woman and Toran called me to be his Champion, it didn't fully occur to me what I would give up in order to do that. And while there were opportunities that were lost along the way for a different kind of life, I felt fulfilled. I had two mortal men that I loved before your father. Both of them were lost forever. The second stood by me as I walked down the path for Toran even though it always led me away from him. He was patient enough and steadfast enough to make the sacrifice to come in second, always. He died heroically defending Hilm from Molvaren's armies as they marched upon the fortress. I think when that happened it was the first time my heart felt shattered. All I had was my faith and my work, and while I focused on that, there was something else that existed as well, but it wasn't until recently that I realized what it was. When I first met your father, we were enemies on the battlefield. I was defending the dwarven fortress that existed before Fieroz City. It was then known as the Fort of Last Hope. At times, during the onslaughts and bloodshed throughout that long battle of attrition I heard some people whisper as they began to lose heart that a better name would have been the Fort of Lost Hope. I knew that we were simply holding the armies at bay to give the rest of our forces in Hilm more time, but that didn't make the lives of those who fought so bravely and died so cruelly any less important. I met your father during a brief time of ceased aggressions. We discussed a few things about the battle, and we both knew that my forces would not be able to hold out against his for much longer. But I could also see that he wasn't pleased with his position, or those around him. Your father had an honor about him that I had not previously thought could be attributed to someone aligned with Molvaren, let alone his General. Your father gave us information that let us destroy a device that was going to starve us out by ruining our food supplies. He also showed his honor by ceasing his aggressions every sundown to allow our troops to rest before returning to the war at dawn. I do believe that had he been able, he would have stopped the advance, but as long as his allegiance was given to Molvaren with no way of escaping, he also was trapped. And so we continued the dance of war until we were able to find a way out. With shared information, my troops were able to escape the castle before the dragon Ractrafieroz, your city's namesake, destroyed the fort completely. But as Molvaren's Drach Ori raided the castle and took it after our departure, your father's then Drach Garra that were loyal to him remained at a safe distance, so that only Molvaren's minions were killed by the dragon. After that, your father seceeded from Molvaren's rule and claimed the land he now owns from his victory over both my forces as well as Molvaren's. Not everyone, was pleased with him. In fact, no one really was pleased with him. At the time, I seemed to be the only one in a position to negotiate between your father and the Hilm Protectorate, whose land had been usurped. I put a lot on the line in order to help your father create what he has now. I still believe that his position where he is is valuable to the stability of Belinara. And I found that while working with him, I was given something else to work on to distract me from a broken heart and the other negative feelings that I continued to hide from myself. I told myself what I wanted to hear. I told myself that I was doing Toran's work, and that establishing a firm foundation for Him within the Siphe Principality would improve relations with the Hilm Protectorate, and shift the balance to our favor in relation to the descisions that would be made by the Horn Kingdom and Nesar Kingdom when it came to defending against the plague that is Molvaren's lands in Kuhl. Perhaps I was doing Toran's work. Perhaps I was right and those things would help Belinara. But I now realize that I was also hiding. I was seeking an escape from things that had built for so long that I didn't even know how to deal with them because I had ignored them and didn't even realize that they were there. I am guilty. As a Toranite, and especially as a paladin or champion of Toran, my word is my bond. And yet, I've broken promises. Before I was chosen as Toran's champion, I promised to marry a man- the man I wrote of earlier. But as a champion, there could be no one else who came before my devotion to Toran. And so I was not able to marry him. I broke my promise to him. We stayed together for so many years until his death, but as I said, my life's path was not what he had wanted. And I was so devoted and so full and so busy, I rarely sat back and considered what my decision had done to him. I should have considered everything that he had to give up because of his devotion to me while my devotion was never fully returned. After his death, and my work side by side with your father, I know now that I had already started to lose my way. I ached in a way that I didn't know how to deal with, and instead of dealing with the loss and guilt and anger over losing someone that I did truly love, I poured myself into another project, and found that the kinship I had with Jaedon filled some of the ache and took some of the pain away. Many people tried to warn me, but I didn't listen. I thought they simply didn't see what I saw in your father, and I sought to defend him. Perhaps they weren't trying to save me from him, but from myself. When I became pregnant with you, I started to wonder if I truly could retire and stay in Fieroz City and just be your mother and just defend one city, one Principality, instead of the whole world. And the first time I held you in my arms I knew that my heart was yours. For a long time, there wasn't any room for anyone else. You needed me, and in many ways, I needed you. And at that time, though my faith in Toran has never waivered, I know that Toran released me to be your mother instead of His Champion. And so, again, I broke a vow that I never intended to break. I thought that I could stay with Jaedon and become his partner and your mother and that would be enough. But I wasn't myself anymore. I'd lost who I was due to grief, and guilt, and even love. The thing is, I didn't leave because you aren't enough for me. I left because I think I can be better to you by trying to find my path again. If I stayed behind, even though I love you so much, I would never be the person that I was called to be. Leaving you was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life. But I need you to be safe, and the best way I know to do that is to be out here doing my job. And in order to do my job, I need to find my focus again. I need to move forward without a mortal man to distract me from the guilt that I've built up over the years for so many soldiers lost under my command, for everyone that I haven't been able to save, for leaving you and your father. I do still love him, Abigaile, and I will always love you, but I made a vow to Toran a long time ago, and that's where I'll be able to find myself again. You're still so little, and I know it may be years before you even receive this, but I will try to always be there for you should you need me. I have not abandoned you. My love always, and may Toran's Light always guide you as it has me, Your mother
102
« on: December 26, 2014, 09:42:10 am »
I was having a lot of problems downloading any and all of the files from the layo page for some reason, but I was finally able to download it from the cdn link. I think it might have had something with my wireless internet, but it didn't matter if I was downloading the all-in-one or individually. All of them stalled out around 40-50%. Even when I was finally able to download the all in one, it would slow down and seem to hault several times before it would speed up again and sort of go in waves. Thankfully it did work.
103
« on: December 22, 2014, 07:32:43 pm »
Well, at least now she had a word for how she had been feeling. Guilt. Guilt for losing her focus. Guilt for leaving her daughter- for abandoning her. She stayed awake many nights wondering if those that she had let down would be able to forgive her. She wondered if Toran would be willing to take her back to set her feet back on her previous path. Tired of staring at the ceiling above her bed, she walked in bare feet down the hall to her own private shrine to the Great Leader and pray for guidance. It had been a long time since she had seen Brandon Steele. She knew him before she was a Champion, before she was the Chosen One, the Champion of Toran's Divine Will and every other title she had become known by. When she was just Daniella Stormhaven, a paladin in Toran's service. And even though the years had gone by, he still was able to help her simplify the issue at hand. So with the guidance sent from Toran by means of one of his priests, Daniella began writing letters each night to the daughter that she hoped one day would forgive her for her choice.
104
« on: December 22, 2014, 04:30:52 pm »
I'll be on again tonight around 9pm est in case anyone wants to discuss current events. Likely in Center. Particularly in relation to the recent rumors about the Liquid Death.
105
« on: December 08, 2014, 10:29:46 am »
//I'm going to try to bring someone, probably Niamh
106
« on: December 05, 2014, 09:25:00 am »
So, I sorta kinda really actually got married. Yeah. me. I'm married. I mean, not like in the sense where we had big deal thing with everyone to watch and all because that just doesn't seem right because I figure most people probably would end up fighting and then it's just a big show, and that's not the kind of thing that I wanted. It's not really something that needs to have some signed official piece of parchment that says anything right? That's not what the true sense of it is about anyways. At least, that's what I figured. I think I scared Toby when it sort of just kind of slipped out. It's weird. I NEVER thought I wanted to be married, but lately with Toby the thought just kept coming back and it just felt "right" I guess. Like he's home. And then he said something we were sitting by the fire and he said he felt like he finally was home and well, I thought it but apparently I thought it out loud, but then it was out there and I was afraid he'd say no, so I was going to just take it back. But he said he wanted to wait. I hate waiting. I just figured it was something that should be between me and him and Ilsare and nobody else needed to be around or anything. Well... yeah. So. That happened. I just hope that this time around maybe we'll live long enough to grow old together eventually. Maybe in the process we'll both become better people. I have to tell Raz when his ship comes back into port.
107
« on: November 14, 2014, 12:59:14 pm »
Hey there and welcome back! Yes, Layonara still runs on nwn. We just recently started a new plot quest called Ancients Legacy, and we have other individual quests pretty regularly. You're welcome to start up a new character or play one of your previous ones. If you do start up a new character please revisit the character submission guidelines as some things have changed in the semi-recent past to help us streamline things and make it easier for players to get back in game. (Since you're a returning player, mostly it'll be in regards to playable races and alignments. CG won't be a problem though.) Again, welcome back, and hopefully we'll see you in game soon. ~Alatriel/Diva
108
« on: October 24, 2014, 11:51:00 pm »
So, I haven't bothered writing in here for a long time. Not really anything to write about. Same old thing always ends up happening, so why bother writing about it right? Men come in, things start getting better, then they get worse, then they get really really horribly terribly catastrophically worse, and then they hiccup, and then... oh, hey, where did they go? Oh yeah, they're gone. Where'd they go? The PITS IF I KNOW! And then of course... time passes and suddenly one of them just waltzes back in and says "I want to be your friend." Then he says all the so-called right things, but things aren't right because I actually -like- this person, but I know he's just going to leave again, or worse, he'll die. And not the kind of dead where you come back, but the real dead. Dead forever dead. And of course, we've been fighting, which makes me feel stuff that I don't want to feel. Mostly bad stuff, but some of it's just that I hurt a lot. I'm tired of my heart hurting all the time. It's horrible. So I was at the bar, and this halfling came in, and she was drinking because she lost her magic somehow. I don't even know how that happens? But she had a nice voice. She hummed a little. But apparently my problems weren't really important to her. She felt really bad. I offered her a hug, but she didn't seem to think that hugs were magic or anything. Before I left, though, she did give me a hug. Then she said something weird. She said that for my next lesson I should compose a song about magic hugs. Why would I write a song? And... lesson? My teacher died. Maybe she didn't hear that part. Unfortunately, I can't stop thinking about a song about magic hugs. Mostly because hugs are fabulous. So... I guess I'll give it a shot. Hugs... hugs... what rhymes with hugs? Bugs? Rugs? Drugs? Okay none of those are good. [strike]I think the world would be better if everyone gave hugs It's like [/strike] Sometimes, when I feel down and the whole world seems black or gray The feeling of someone else's arms to hold me takes the blues away At least a little Maybe people have a little magic that can pass through acts of love [strike]When someone else is hurting[/strike] Hugs can take the pain away like a [strike]message[/strike] from above [massage from above?] At least a little But in a world that's dark and cold when no one seems to care [strike]Looking for a friendly face [/strike] Without a hand to hold it feels like there's no air More than a little Hugs send magic [strike]to other[/strike] all around, they fill the world with light They push the dark and lonelies out to rid the endless night At least a little But if there were more hugs around and people gave them more I think the darks and hurts would go, at least I'm pretty sure Maybe a little. Yeah, I'm not a good songwriter. Maybe if I had a hug I'd be better at it.
109
« on: October 22, 2014, 02:48:32 pm »
//It's possible I have it on my other computer, but I likely won't be able to check for another month.
110
« on: October 04, 2014, 08:48:22 am »
As the night sky seems to be changing more instead of the stars returning to their rightful places after their dalliances, Daniella Stormhaven packs her bag and heads to the Citadel of Toran. //PM incoming
111
« on: October 03, 2014, 10:34:40 pm »
//Niamh would likely go if her player could access the game 
112
« on: April 20, 2014, 09:51:52 am »
Oh sheesh.... I'll do the calendar entry for the next one. Ha! Come one, come all... bring your buddies and your pets!
113
« on: March 23, 2014, 11:20:21 am »
The tremors around Haven have been getting stronger as of late and rock falls around caves in the Silkwood have been making the area more dangerous for travelers and adventurers alike. That, combined with an odd surge of undead and fleeing denizens, is turning the Silkwood into something completely different. Locals have started to send out requests for aid to surrounding areas to fix the problem- whatever it is.
114
« on: March 01, 2014, 08:54:35 am »
On my birthday... Oldest son: "Hey mom? Were people on Earth before 1981?" Me: "Uh, since that's the year I was born... yeah." Youngest son: "That's when people were still really new." And another car ride: Oldest son: "Mom, Dad, what's roleplaying?" Me: "It's playing pretend but with a 'cooler' name." Aerimor: "It's not that much cooler..."
115
« on: February 22, 2014, 06:35:54 pm »
There's a code that I put in when I get them ready to input that works to have the doors auto close. Don't worry about it when you're creating the area because I'll do it after I get it from you. As far as the rooms with buggy floors, there's not a whole lot you can do about it right now that I am aware of. Just choose different rooms 
116
« on: February 18, 2014, 07:40:38 pm »
It had been many months since she had made that final decision and left the Siphe Principality. The yearning for Toran had become unbearable, and she knew it was the only thing left to do. But leaving her daughter had been one of the hardest things she ever had thought she would never have to do. More than once she had considered turning around and going back to them. Once she had even started to, but deep inside she knew there was more that she still had yet to do. Her duty wasn't finished, and she had an oath that she still had to uphold. At first, when she reached her old home in Trelania, the place seemed foreign. It was like stepping back into a former life, or perhaps awakening from a long dream. In this house there was no sign of motherhood. The little dresses and toys that she had grown accustomed to with Abigaile weren't simply gone, they had never existed there in the first place. Here was a home that had been designed for the lives of soldiers. It was clean, and well-organized, and perhaps fit for a different sort of family, but not for children. Swords and shields remained polished and at ready, and showed plenty of signs of use. As Daniella ventured up to her own apartment within her house, there were other things that sparked memories from times past. A well-worn letter and old, dried flowers from Aeronn Kirath, and the many books, letters, and other things that had once belonged to Chaynce Baldu'muur. The weight of all of the love lost dropped down on her like a lead blanket, and for some time, she did not leave the house or even her apartment. The lights remained out, and the ache in her heart swelled to fill and surround her like a thick fog. She wasn't certain how long she had existed like that when she was startled out of her haze by a soft giggle and the sound of things being thrown against the front of her house. Crack. Crack. Crack. She rubbed her eyes and pushed her hair out of her face and looked out the window down at the ground below. Alton. He had apparently resumed his semi-regular assault on her house with a whole basket of eggs. Daniella stood in the window for some time, simply watching him. Her expression remained distant as she watched her dead lover's best friend deface her house. Some things never do seem to change. Even after Alton ran out of eggs, Daniella watched out the window until he had gone. Then she sighed. At last, she pulled on a fresh set of clothes and tied her hair back. The eggs would need to be cleaned before they started to smell. She spent the rest of the day cleaning those eggs from her house. And with each motion, she felt a tear fall down across her cheek for each pain. And with each tear, she said a prayer asking for forgiveness, asking for guidance, asking for a purpose, and asking for help to find her true path once more. When she finally stood back and looked at her work, she realized that some of her dark cloud felt lifted. She took a deep breath and vowed that it was time to go back to work for real. She knew in time she would have the answers from Toran that she needed, but in the meantime, she would put herself to work. She didn't know if it would help lift her own dark cloud, but perhaps if she could lift the burdens of others, for now it would take her mind off of her own.
117
« on: February 07, 2014, 10:49:51 am »
If it has been approved to play, but it's been deleted, you'll need to resubmit the character with a slightly changed name for approval. You can link the original submission so that we'll know, but it will need to be approved again before you can jump back in. Thanks.
118
« on: February 01, 2014, 10:25:38 pm »
*waves* Would love for you to stop by sometime! Daniella can always use a friend to talk to.
119
« on: January 28, 2014, 11:52:48 pm »
There's defintely the possibility of such things, however it would likely be a multi-session series of cdq's, possibly WLDQ(?) especially for so new a character. But definitely it could be something to aspire to.
120
« on: January 16, 2014, 06:32:10 pm »
Brutus, if you right click on the chest and "examine" it, it'll tell you each thing that was taken by whom and when. Hope that helps! ~A
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