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Messages - Pseudonym
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241
« on: February 26, 2010, 05:08:45 am »
The man and the girl walked slowly, hand in hand, down the cobbled path.
Are you okay down there? Not chilly? That's only a thin tunic and it'll be sundown before you know it.
Nah, i'm okay.
Sure?
Yep.
Okay, let me know if you get too chilly. You'll do that?
Okay.
... Minutes later.
Okay, if you ain't cold, what is it? You're looking pretty glum down there.
I'm not cold b... but, are we going home soon?
Sure we are. In just a jiffy. I just wanted to ask you something before we head back, is that okay?
I guess so.
How old are you? I know I asked you before but I've forgotten already.
I'll be eight next harvest. A proper big girl.
Well Missus proper big girl, I had this peculiar thought been rolling around in my head all day. I thought you might be able to help me out.
I guess I can Mister ... but ...
But what? Go ahead, it's okay.
But ... why you asking me? We only just met. Why wouldn't you ask a grown up?
Not sure I know how to explain.
You can just tell me Mister.
Okay, I guess I can. That there, what you said just then, is exactly the reason why. Your papa or mama ever ask you a question and you tell them the answer you think they wanna hear? Not really the answer that's in your head. You ever do that?
I guess so. Mama says I should always tell the truth so I try to do that Mister but sometimes I ... well, I know I get in less trouble if ... you know ...
I do know. I know exactly what you mean. Well, I'm gonna ask you this question cos' grown ups get real good at telling you what you wanna hear and you just can't tell what's truth sometimes and what's ... made up. I want to hear the truth.
Okay, I guess that makes sense.
I'm real glad. I knew you were a smart one when I first saw you. Here goes. I'm a wee bit older than you and I been travellin' for some time now. You ever noticed how stories of ... how do I explain? You ever notice stories of bad folks and monsters and scary stuff that your mama says might happen if you don't do your chores and the like normally involve men, rarely women? Surely there are just as many women as men who ... how do I say? Feel the same? Have the same potential for savagery? Or, do they? Is there something about being a male that lends itself to hate and madness and death? Something innate? Something deep within that begs for release? I guess I wanna know ... what do you think?
I ... I dunno mister. I never had any of what you're talking about. *the beginning of tears* Can we go home now? Papa will be getting worried if i'm not home soon.
Don't fret, the end of the road is just up ahead a ways.
No, it isn't! It's back the other way!
This is a shortcut. Only grown-ups know this way. It's not far now, honest.
Honest?
Honest.
242
« on: February 26, 2010, 02:40:43 am »
A barbarian from Krashin boards a ship sailing into Leringard, carrying two dead squirrels. The ship captain looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
A hungry lion was roaming through the Forest of Fog looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a scroll; the other was scribbling away with his quill. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the parchment and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
Two Krashin barbarians (having disembarked from the ship above) sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
Within an alchemist's crucible two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
Did you hear about the monk who refused clerical healing during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
A group of chess enthusiasts gathered in the newly rebuilt Leringard Arms and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, Tyra came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked, as they moved off. "Because," she said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Sedera and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Morholt, they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a painting of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the painting, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a painting of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
243
« on: February 23, 2010, 01:42:46 pm »
Happy, happy birthday!
244
« on: February 19, 2010, 06:21:58 am »
Happy, happy birthday Willhoff! 
245
« on: February 19, 2010, 04:49:36 am »
Two posts, double the chance of thank-yous.
246
« on: February 19, 2010, 04:48:52 am »
Happy, happy birthday Lord Dark!
247
« on: February 19, 2010, 04:47:57 am »
Happy, happy birthday Davidhoff!
248
« on: February 15, 2010, 08:12:33 pm »
Congrats!!!
249
« on: February 14, 2010, 04:23:24 am »
Happy, happy birthday!
250
« on: February 10, 2010, 04:00:23 pm »
So is it easier to stay alive these days or were we just dopey players back in the day? Yes and yes.
251
« on: February 08, 2010, 06:16:10 pm »
And finally the man of the match Hal, for removing Jehoram's eye and err... touching everyone. Thanks to him Jehoram now has the mentality of an Unholy Champion, if not the powers of one.
You make it sound so dirty! He was just trying to impress upon you it didn't matter so much who was killed, if the wrong person died ... just as long as someone died. That was the important thing. As to cutting out your eye, hey, ain't his fault some folks are visual learners.
Hal : [Party] The voices tell me to hurt him ... to hurt him bad
Alandric Vensk: [Party] Pain is purification
Hal : [Party] To give him pain .. to teach him that life is pain ... service to the Mad One is pain
Hal : [Party] *almost gently, reaches down and prises open one dead eyelid*
Eleandilethessa Quil'lyn: [Party] *makes a pointing motion at her temple with a finger*
Eleandilethessa Quil'lyn: [Party] * at all this talk of pain and madness*
Hal : [Party] *the point of his skinning knife hovers over the glazed eyeball for a moment as he considers*
Eleandilethessa Quil'lyn: [Party] *looks at Alandric, but then back to Hal*
Hal : [Party] He has his eyes on that which is unimportant ...
Leisa Margreve: [Party] *nods and steps back waiting patiently*
Hal : [Party] I give him this gift *plucks Jehoram's left eyeball from it's socket with a soft, wet plop*
Eleandilethessa Quil'lyn: [Party] *grins*
Hal : [Party] *holds up the point of his skinning knife and regards his grisly trophy thoughtfully*
Eleandilethessa Quil'lyn: [Party] He'll keep an eye oot fur ye frae noo oan
Hal : [Party] *caresses Jehoram's cheek tenderly*
Alandric Vensk: [Party] Two eyes caused him too much confusion. PErhaps wth one he will see more clearly now
Eleandilethessa Quil'lyn: [Party] *belly laughs at that*
Hal : [Party] *brushes Jehoram's hair back from his forehead*
Leisa Margreve: [Party] *remains silent*
Hal : [Party] Remember .. when you awaken .. the hurt .. the anger .. the pain .. the confusion ...
Hal : [Party] In these things you hear His voice
Hal : [Party] *softly whispering to Jehoram's corpse*
Hal : [Party] He speaks to you child ... with this gift you will learn to hear
Alandric Vensk: [Party] *bows his head*
Hal : [Party] *holds out his Unholy symbol with one hand and chants softly*
Hal : [Party] *places the other hand on Jehoram's breast, raising him to this resonance of pain and misery*
Jehoram : [Party] *He awakens with a scream*
Jehoram : [Party] *he then staggers about the room in pain and blindness, smashing open a number of healing potions and pours the on his face*
Hal : [Party] *drops the eyeball to the ground from the point of the knife and grinds it into jelly underneath his bootheel, nodding to Jehoram as he does so, again with quite the amiable smile*
Jehoram : [Party] *his one good eye radiates hate at Hal*
Hal : [Party] *gives Jehoram a look in return that perhaps says "That's it, now you're getting it"*
With friends like this, who need enemies!??
252
« on: February 07, 2010, 04:05:34 pm »
Congratulations!
253
« on: February 07, 2010, 04:22:57 am »
I stood for long moments contemplating the pool of blood. People always refer to blood gathering in pools. I could see why, in this light, it did look 'poolish' I suppose. By the same measure, it also looked like a puddle of blood. You don't hear about blood spreading out in a puddle though. Not often. Anyways, the pool of blood spread in little pulses, slow and even, in time with the lady's heartbeat. I thought her heart might have been beating faster ... but no, quite slow really now that the end was near. I dare say even my own heart beat was faster than hers. Maybe just a little. Not by much.
I ran my forefinger through the blood. It left a faint trace, a thin line of my doing that disappeared in a few moments. I tried to write a word in the blood, APPLE. Not sure why I chose APPLE, was the first word to pop into my head. I remember drawing an apple when we were teaching the kids how to spell. A for apple. I couldn't think of a reason not to write APPLE. They're tasty enough, probably even my favourite fruit. One of. However, I do enjoy a nice orange when they're in season. My blood-APPLE was gone in moments too. The 'A' had disappeared before I had finished the second 'P'. Maybe after the blood had congealed a little I might be able to get a whole word out. Maybe APPLE again, or, maybe something else. I might try the word, HAVEN. I had stayed in a small city by that name just yesterday. A pretty name for a pretty enough city. I'm not sure this fair lady found the irony of her city's name amusing. Probably not. I did ... though I didn't laugh out loud. It wasn't that funny. I suppose it was more interesting than outright funny.
I took a deep breath. The air smelled coppery, of course. It's a hard smell to describe to those not familiar. I mean, everyone has cut themselves, right? But, it really takes quite a pool to generate that coppery smell. You can't get that smell happening from a shaving nick, no way.
I wonder how many people go through their whole lives and never get to experience that smell. Probably lots. Not me though. Not me at all.
It's been a long day. I think I'll sleep well tonight.
254
« on: February 07, 2010, 12:36:04 am »
Happy, happy birthday EH!
255
« on: February 05, 2010, 06:02:50 am »
Happy, happy birthday!!
256
« on: February 05, 2010, 02:58:16 am »
More rules for convincing RP of a male PC ...
"I'M GOING FISHING" means "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
"IT'S A GUY THING" means "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" means "Why isn't dinner already on the table?"
"UH HUH SURE, HONEY," or "YES, DEAR..." means absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" means "I have no idea how it works."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." means "Are you still talking?"
"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES" means "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
"OH, DON'T FUSS! I JUST CUT MYSELF IT'S NO BIG DEAL" means "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I am hurt."
"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING" means "And I sure hope I think of some pretty good reasons soon."
"I CAN'T FIND IT" means "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" means "What did you catch me at?"
"I HEARD YOU" means "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE" means "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realise it could be worse."
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC" means ""Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE" means "No one will ever see us alive again."
Carry on.
257
« on: February 05, 2010, 02:48:55 am »
BUT! It's the world of Layonara and death is but an inconvenience, easily overcome.
Sall rushes the drowned Tegan to the nearest priest and plonks her dripping form at the startled cleric's feet. The Priest of Folian takes out his Eye for the Soul and kneels beside the body, muttering a few holy words under his breath. The priest looks up and says,
"I don't like the looks of your wife at all."
"Me neither doc," says Sall, "but she's a great cook."
258
« on: February 05, 2010, 02:43:35 am »
*points and laughs at the old man*
259
« on: February 01, 2010, 05:01:42 am »
*wants some of what Hellblazer has been smoking*
260
« on: January 31, 2010, 01:17:19 am »
What brought you towards DnD? Lack of sporting ability.
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